Posted August 15, 2017 at 11:01 pm

I also have Sky Shadow!

I got him quite a bit ago.  There was a long dryspell of new Transformers (like a week or two) and I saw this guy in a store and I bought him, even though I'd planned to skip him.

He's pretty, at least!  It's hard to go wrong with black, silver, and red.  And he's Overlord from the pants down.  The top half transforms into a completely different jet.

I dunno.  I have regrets.  It's not that this toy is bad, but there were reasons I was skipping him.  I'm happy with the Sky Shadow I already had, and that Sky Shadow takes up way less room on a shelf (he's a Deluxe) and IDW comics based their design of him on that earlier toy.  I just don't need a giant-ass Sky Shadow.  It was a bad impulse purchase.

But here he is, anyway, for you to look at.

Like I said, he's not bad.  He's just surplus to my requirements.  And I have an Overlord now, who's mostly this guy anyway, but as a character I wanted.

So.

Posted August 12, 2017 at 3:54 am
It's Windblade o'clock!  That's kind of like 4:20, but slightly more often.  And that's fine with me.  I'm always up for additional Windblades.  Keep piling 'em on, Hasbro.  I've got a house with shelves to fill.
 
Last year, there was an SDCC exclusive Windblade, technically part of the Titans Return line, but since she was a redeco of Robots in Disguise Windblade, she was the only toy out of the three in her box set that wasn't actually a Titan Master-compatible person.  She wasn't a headmaster!  And while I was grateful for Additional Windblade, I also kind of wish she got a proper Titans Return toy with a head-person head.  
 
WELL THAT TOY IS HERE
 
Suddenly, out of no where, unbeknownst to Secret Inside Sources That Know The Entirety Of The Next Toyline Before It Even Hits Shelves, there was a Titans Return Windblade toy.  One day Hasbro's like, BAM!, surprise, Windblade in yer eyes!  So many rumor lists, and she wasn't on any of them.  This was an enjoyable experience, like how at SDCC Hasbro got to actually tell us what Power of the Primes was about and what the toys were and everything, without us knowing everything ahead of time.
 
which lasted about five days before the entire rest of the toyline was leaked, but whatever, it was a nice moment
 
Titans Return Windblade shares some parts with Scourge/Highbrow (thighs, feet, biceps, some internal transformery joint stuff), but the rest of her is new.  The amount of new is nice, especially considering Windblade's in the penultimate wave of Titans Return deluxes.  Usually by this point they're just spittin' up redecoes.  Some people mumble about her wide upper arms or her blocky thighs, but I... just... can't... bring... myself... to... care.  The toy looks good.
 
The original Windblade toy got a lot of flak for being difficult to stand.  The second main Windblade toy, the Robots in Disguise version, is better at standing.  This toy, though, stands the eff up.  This is mostly due to the no-nonsense way her legs are built.  They're just big and relatively chunky (for a Windblade toy) and there's feet and that's it.  These legs don't try to be fancy.  You could probably throw the toy across the room and it'd still stand.  
 
Titans Return Windblade also has a more satisfying transformation to jet mode.  It's not as fiddly, and everything fits solidly in place.  This toy is just a formidable chunk of Windblade.  Not as many bells or whistles (there's no scabbard and no removeable head fan), but what's here gets the job done.  You can, if you wish, borrow the scabbard/sword from a previous Windblade toy.  There are slots in the toy's thighs that accomodate tabs from the older scabbards.  Hooray for standards in toy construction, requiring those slots at most joints.  
 

Windblade's head transforms into a little lady robot named Scorchfire.  She can sit in Windblade's cockpit or ride in the combined sword... thing her swords make when they mash together.  It's like a flying forklift that's all fork and no lift.
 
If you want a solid-ass Windblade toy, this might be your best option.  If you want a Windblade that looks a little more accurate to her proportions in fiction but you don't care if she takes some effort to stand upright, then maybe look into Takara's reissue of the original that's coming next year.  If you want a Windblade that shuts up and goes away but not really because you're lonely, you might be Starscream.
 
man, we better get a windblade in power of the primes so we can have one that's a combiner limb, i need windblades in all the various transformers gimmicks and combiner wars left me out to dry 
Posted August 9, 2017 at 11:45 pm

Not that he wasn't somewhat of a deal before, but folks have been very loudly asking for a new Overlord ever since he was the big villain in 2010's Last Stand of the Wreckers.  BotCon tried to jump on this hype in 2012 with a version of him retooled from Revenge of the Fallen Bludgeon, but that's always felt like a band-aid on a gushing wound of desire for the real thing.  Well, here he is, the Real Thing, probably!

I mean, I can't rule out that there'll be a Better-er Overlord at some point, but this offering seems like it's the most on-the-nose that retail can muster.  He looks like Overlord (the original toy, at least, though not the LSOTW redesign), he splits into two vehicles like Overlord (not a common gimmick), and he's the largest size class that isn't a city or a combiner, which is suitably Overlordy.  Overlord was a big-ass guy.  But, frankly, anything much larger than this and he isn't gonna fit on any of my shelves.

(note: TakaraTomy just solicited their Overlord, and they're officially mistransforming his feet in a way that extends his legs, making him taller by about an inch.  Essentially, theirs is on tippy-toes.  You can do that easily on the Hasbro version as well if you want your Overlord to be a smidge taller.)

In addition to the tank and jet modes and the combined robot mode, the two vehicles can also combine into an okayish base mode.  I probably won't be using this much, but it's there.

Since Overlord is a Titans Return toy, that means he's got a little dude that turns into his head.  And since Overlord is a LARGE Titans Return toy, that means his little dude actually just transforms into the face, which sits inside a larger helmet, so that body parts remain proportional.  There's also little head-guy-shaped crevices inside doors on his chest where you can capture two other head guys.  (These take the place of the Powermaster engine plug-in spots on the original toy.)  

Overall, Overlord is a solid toy.  His robot mode is where it's at and stays together like a toy that doesn't transform at all, featuring most of the articulation you'd want (though no waist rotation), and he transforms into two smaller vehicles which are also individually fun entities.  The tank mode's turret doesn't rotate, but considering how the thing transforms, that's not really surprising.  

Just keep him away from Pipes.

Posted July 27, 2017 at 4:30 am


I've got a Trypticon!  He's a big Trypticon, unlike the tiny Legends of Cybertron class Trypticon I've had for a decade, and even bigger than the original Trypticon I got last year when it was reissued.  We found out about this new Titan Class Trypticon like the day before my original Trypticon reissue arrived in the mail, and I don't regret it.  He's Trypticon.  He's a very large robot dinosaur and/or kaiju.  There should be more of him.

Trypticon is definitely of the "original design with knees" school of design most Transformers seem to graduate from these days.  He's essentially a bigger version of the original.  But with articulation.  And no electronic walking gimmick.  There are some improvements, though, like how there are fewer.... pieces.  Trypticon stays whole when he changes from dinosaur to spaceship to city, instead of having to rip some smaller parts off him and move them around.  The only part that really comes off is his separate little race car guy, Full-Tilt.  And this makes sense because, you know, he's a separate little race car guy.

That I said "from dinosaur to SPACESHIP to city" is a clue at another improvement.  Trypticon's third mode used to be a battlestation instead of a spaceship.  But, honestly, battlestation versus city is not a very large distinction.  And so now he has a new spaceship mode, which looks very much like his original battlestation-like mode with tiny wings attached, which we've decided is the Nemesis.  

Also, like, you can put little Titan Master guys in his mouth and they dump into his tummy.  Or out of his tummy, if you have his tummy hatch open.  Food spills out of his maw like Cookie Monster.  This is an excellent addition.

Some problems!

1) Full-Tilt is pretty heavy, as he's a full Deluxe-Class-sized toy, and the weight of him kind of pulls Trypticon's tummy hatch open constantly.  Is there a way to secure this better?  I dunno.  

2) Some people have reported that Trypticon's leg springs are so tight that they destroy the legs if you try to move them at the hip.  Mine does not have this problem, but it's something to look out for, just in case.  Apparently you need to screw open his hips and snip the giant-ass spring inside to lower the pressure.

3) WHY STICKERS, WHY.   I mean, I could see if they were GOOD stickers, but the thinner-than-paper foil stickers that Trypticon comes with are... not good stickers.  And they're incredibly difficult to place without error, because, like, they're constantly staticky and want to jump to the wrong place, and because they're so thin you can't actually remove them once they're placed because they will tear or crumble instead.  Also, sometimes the stickers aren't fully cut from the sheet!  Hooray!  WHY, WHY IS THIS A THING, WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE PAINT, OR AT LEAST QUALITY STICKERS THAT ARE NOT SHITTY, STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS GIJOE, THE WORST PART OF GIJOE WAS THE SHITTY STICKERS

All that said and swept under the rug while we whistle, this Trypticon is easily the best of the three big Titan Class city/battlestation guys we've gotten so far.  Both Metroplex and Fort Max are fine, sure, but neither of them transform into friggin' dinosaurs, and that's kind of a huge mark in Trypticon's favor.  And being a spaceship instead of a city is a huge plus, too.  Three solid modes, all distinct from the other.  And one of them's a friggin' dinosaur.

Posted June 1, 2017 at 4:05 am

I've always been kinda lukewarm on Seaspray.  Had his toy as a child (I think), but he never made a strong impression on me.  I mean, I don't dislike him.  It's just that also I'm not in love with him or anything. 

But I am actually pretty taken with this new Titans Return Seaspray!  And I'll be blunt with you as to why: dude's FAT.  He's short and stout and he's got a tum and his feet are enormous.  He's a cute little dude.  His rotundity adds a bit of character in a world where nearly all of your robots are either Bruce Timmy He-Man chests or skinny stickmen.  

(The He-Man chest look was Seaspray's previous toy, by the way.  He was a real broadshouldered V-torsoed dynamo.  He was Star-Lord Chris Pratt instead of the more traditional, cuddlier Parks and Recreation Chris Pratt.)

However, his tummy detaches and becomes a... weapon?  Some sort of missle-launching pod.  And under his tummy, he's got flat abs.  And we older fans, we know that his tum-tum should be there.  It's drawn right into his cartoon animation model.  But I guess it's detachable now, and he can wave his gut around at you, while looking all svelt and buff for the kiddos following the instructions insert.  But we older fans know.  We know the truth.

(I mean, like, generally, if you're going to make a detachable weapon out of something on Seaspray, you think you'd go for the thing behind his head, with the spinny fans?  And not his intestines?  But no, clip that chub chub right off and put it in his hand, sure.  This pizza-box-shaped thing is a weapon and not the blades beyind his head.)

Seaspray transforms standardly enough, as you'd expect.  Feet extend out, arms pull from sides, yadda yadda.  The only truly disappointing bit is the head just hides behind a little flip-up panel.  It's not even really very hidden.  It's more like Seaspray was wearing a bib, like at a crabshack or whatever, and the wind blew it up in his face.  You can definitely still see the head itself from most angles.  There's just a small little nub there covering his face.  

There's also a compartment you can open up in the back where you can fit a Titan Master head-dude figure.  If you want.  

And he's got the name of his mermaid girlfriend tattooed on his arm.

You heard me.

 

Posted May 26, 2017 at 11:01 pm

I don't have a LOT to say about Quickswitch.  He's Titans Returns Sixshot with a new face and better colors.  That's what really matters.

He's also Sixshot's son.  What this even friggin' means has never been explored by Transformers fiction of any kind, but that familiar relation has been stated.  It's canon, somehow.  He's Sixshot's kid who's trying to make up for all the evil his daddy did.  Does.  Whatever.   I mean, we have Transformers siblings of various kinds, Transformers cousins, Transformers spouses, but we have no idea what being a Transformers dad means outside of the job title existing.  Could it be merely adoptive and not biological?  Who knows!

The original Quickswitch had a few different modes than his dad.  He could become a boat, a drilltank, and a different kind of four-legged animal other than a wolf.  I want to say a puma?  Regardless, this new Quickswitch is just Sixshot again in teal and red, so he doesn't get any of those unique modes.  

Also, the promotional renders gave him a new helmet, but the actual toy just gives him Sixshot's.  

If you have to choose between only Sixshot or Quickswitch, I'd go Quickswitch.  Teal and red is just neat, plus he comes in a box set with Nautica, so.  

Posted May 8, 2017 at 4:30 am

I had been taken for a fool!  I never studied Titans Return Legends Class Brawn's stock renders very closely, but I did note that he had his spare tire on his arm.  Aha!  He must transform asymmetrically!  That is interesting, I said!  

Ah-heh, actually, no, the spare tire section just pops off during transformation and pegs onto his arm.  He otherwise transforms exactly like you'd expect Brawn to:  Arms pull out from sides, legs fold out from back.  Done!  He is not a complicated guy.  Even if you remember to flip out his heels, he's still not a complicated guy.  This is somewhat of a relief, given how much more fiddly the other Titans Return car guys like him are, such as Bumblebee and Wheelie.  

The main difference between them and Brawn is Brawn's passenger compartment for little Titan Master guys doesn't compact.  It's left alone during transformation, meaning you can keep your Titan Master Brawn inside him if you want and never remove him again.  It also means his torso is a little long, but whatcha gonna do.  

If you don't like Brawn keeping his spare tire on his arm, you can also choose to peg it on his ass.  

Brawn is versatile.

 

Posted April 21, 2017 at 3:30 am

As was my singleminded plan from the start, I customized my Masterpiece Megatron to appear more like his color scheme in the original Marvel comics.  I mean, that's why I bought this guy, really, so my customized Masterpiece Marvel Ratchet would have a sparring buddy.

First I cracked open his faces to paint his eyes yellow.  ... Well, gold.  I was leaving most of Megatron's colors unaltered, and he's a very rich and sparkly gray, so I figured gold would mesh with that better than primary yellow.  Thankfully, on each of Megatron's swappable faces, Megatron's eyes are on a separate piece from the rest of his face.  This piece is a real doozy to remove.  It pulls out like a slotted battery cover, if that battery cover were also pegged in and not meant to ever be removed.  And so I had to violently crowbar it out with the smallest flathead screwdriver I had.  The back of these faces is a hacked-up mess.  A mess you'll never see since it's behind the face and inside the head when assembled, but a mess nonetheless.  And the gold paint would often scrape off the eyes as I squeezed the eye-piece back in, and so sometimes I'd have to crowbar it back out again and repaint and retry.  

Compared to that, the rest of my customizations were a breeze.  I got a big flat brush and painted Megatron's helmet gunmetal.  The gunmetal acrylic I used is a little shinier than the dark gray on the rest of the toy, but I'd never be able to match that in a million years -- it's speckly and textured paint.  It's close enough at a glance, however.  This process was relatively easy because you could remove the face to paint most of the helmet, which considerably lowers your chances of accidentally getting paint on the face.  You still have to paint each face's forehead, but that's way less surface area to need to be exceedingly careful with.

And finally, I painted his outward ab sections red.  Just red. There doesn't seem to be any gloss (non-transparent) acrylic reds from brands I recognize, so I just got a regular red off Amazon.  I have a flat red, but I wanted it as shiny as possible.  While painting, I transformed Megatron's many torso shards out of the way so I could have as unobscured a view of the parts I wanted to paint as possible.  

The comics also painted his gun barrel a medium blue, which was probably supposed to be a medium gray, but 1) this was never colored consistently and 2) I'd DEFINITELY never get the silencer attachment on again with fucking everything up, so no thanks.  Another detail I didn't bother with is moving his Decepticon chest symbol over a little to his right.  I'd never be able to match the gray, and they'd stopped off-centering his logo eventually anyway, as it was based on a bad perspective error on his model sheet which the artists seem to have eventually figured out.

He still transforms.  I checked.  And, really, the parts I painted seem to be more safe from scraping than the factory applied paint he came with.  There's more clearance around his helmet and his ab slabs than on, say, his barrel and silencer.  My modifications just mean there's a strange black area just in front of the trigger guard.

 
Posted April 9, 2017 at 1:23 am

Look, I gotta crank out this Masterpiece Megatron (the second one) review so I can paint the head of mine dark gray like in the comics.  I've taken billions of photographs of him in his various modes and all the various stuff he comes with, and I've processed them, and they're all friggin' accessories from the friggin' cartoon, and I've just gotta de-cartoonify this guy.  I bought this dude to face off against my Masterpiece Ratchet, dangit, Marvel comic style -- I don't need no Giant Purple Griffin doofus.  

(I do like his Prime Problem mind-control helmet because it is hilariously ridiculous.)

The original Megatron toy was awkward.  Its robot mode looked awkward, it transformed awkwardly using tiny struts that easily broke, and the little curly-q scribble across his chest probably said "awkward" in some alien script.  The comic and cartoon strongly anthropomorphized the robot design further, essentially ending up with a robot mode that didn't really have a lot of recognizeable gun kibble on him.  They altered the shape of the chest so it didn't look so much like a gun chamber, his legs were thickened up, his head shape rounded away from looking like part of the grip, and maybe the halves of the hammer were left on top of his shoulders.  And, yeah, there was a relatively unaltered scope on his arm, but now it was a cannon!  

There was an attempt at a Masterpiece version of Megatron early on in the line.  It was number five, if I recall, after some stuff that was easier to retranslate animation models into toys, but eventually you gotta do the Decepticon leader.  Even if he transforms awkwardly into a handgun.  And, man, this first Masterpiece Megatron was awkward.  I think we learned recently that it was designed in a rush, like over a weekend, and I guess that explains a lot?  It just didn't look good, it was thin and gangly, stuff popped off it if you looked at it wrong, and it was a chore to transform.  Oh, and its metal parts rusted on you overnight.

WELL GOOD NEWS, at Masterpiece Number 36, there's a new Megatron.  Since the first MP Megs came out, there was an adjustment of scale, and not only was the original Masterpiece Megatron an ugly piece of crap, but he was also excessively oversized.  But, again, the source material is awkward, and so I feel like TakaraTomy kind of pushed this one off for as long as they could.  They redid Optimus Prime at MP 10, but Megatron?  Ehhh, 36.  After, you know, Cheetor.  

Where was I?  Oh, right.  GOOD NEWS.  Because this guy is... way more complicated.  Waaaaaaaay more complicated.  He's half the size and probably has twice as many parts.  But!  He's not an ugly piece of crap.  He is goddamned fucking beautiful.  See, that's the secret -- you can make a handgun transform into Megatron's animation model if you essentially sculpt the thing from one form into the other like clay.  That's how many parts this guy is made of.  Transforming him feels like you're changing his shape on a molecular level.  At that point, anything can be anything else.  

Much like Masterpiece Cheetor before him, Megatron's chest is fake.  It's a fake gun chamber.  Because, as I mentioned above, the animation model's chest wasn't really that gun chamber shape anymore.  They angled it up all to hell and ended up with something new.  Instead, the gun chamber is the entire rest of his torso, which was split up into shards and crumpled up behind the fake gun chamber chest.  To transform him, you unwrap the shards and essentially form the gun chamber around the fake chest as if you're wrapping it up in aluminum foil.  It takes a while.  

Meanwhile, the legs have to go from being thick cartoony Megatron legs into much thinner, less-stylized gun grip halves.  You basically unwrap them, squeeze them skinnier, and then reattach all the ends elsewhere.  It is impressive.  It's not fun, but it's impressive.

And that, I think, is my take-away from this toy.  I think I hate transforming it, but I RESPECT it.  There was a goddamn lot of engineering work put into making one thing magically morph into another thing.  This toy is amazing.  I am in awe of it.  But, also, I'm probably never going to transform it again because goddamn.

I am surprised at the amount of charisma this toy has!  Like several other recent Masterpieces, Megatron comes with a few extra faces with different expressions.  And his laughing face?  It is the best.  My MP Megatron with his laughing face is the most I have ever liked G1 cartoon Megatron.  He's just so happy.  So happy and evil.  I want to be the friend of this dope.  

Also, his articulation is far and away the most extensive of any Masterpiece so far, I think.  Which for a Megatron is weird, because I don't think one's had even a rotating waist before.  Usually the transformation gets in the way of that.  But no, his waist rotates, he's got an ab crunch, both his elbows and knees are doublejointed so his limbs can bend back on themselves, he's got small amounts of finger articulation, and his neck has some good range of movement.  You can get this guy to do a shitload of stuff.

(there's more photos on my tumblr)

Okay, have I talked enough?  Can I go try to start paintmatching the gunmetally grayblack he has?  Good.

 

Posted April 4, 2017 at 5:01 am

Nautica came with some other toys in her box set!  They're all right.  I'll talk next about Laser Prime, who's one of two toys in the set that's a mold I haven't owned before.  There's a version of Laser Prime at retail, in normal Optimus Prime colors, and I yawned so hard I actually didn't buy a Transformer for once.  

You see, like, okay... back in the Nineties, Laser Optimus Prime was a thing.  It was one of the first truly articulated Transformers toys, and so it was Everybody's Favorite Transformer for about a decade.  It was an Optimus with a glow-up sword who had a trailer that turned into a base that fired disks and missiles.  It was also decoed "wrong."  It had a gray chest with red windows and a yellow grill, and the legs were black.  And for that entire decade of "Laser Prime is the goddamned best toy ever," there were counterpart rumblings of "OKAY BUT MAKE IT IN REAL OPTIMUS PRIME COLORS."

But here's the thing.  It is 2017, and we get a new poseable G1 Optimus Prime toy every few months.  You could fill shelves and shelves with all the poseable G1 Optimus Prime toys we've gotten since 2004.  And so at this point?  Laser Prime's eccentric color scheme is one of the few remaining unique things about him.  We've got articulation and trailer bases and electronics and swords in so many other Optimus Primes.  So when you do a new toy that's specifically a homage to Laser Prime, why the heck should I care at this point if he's got his "proper" red chest and silver grill and blue legs?

Also the new toy didn't look that great, either, which was another reason to skip it.  But if I'm gonna own this mold as Optimus Prime, I'm glad the version Nautica's box set pushed on me was the version that's decoed like Actual Laser Optimus Prime.

Like the other Voyager Class-scale toys in the Titans Return toyline, this Optimus Prime is a Triple Changer.  He's not-so-unobviously an Octane pretool, as he goes from robot to tanker truck to jet.  (We've seen the upcoming Octane from this mold, and it has a new head and chest, IIRC.)  The robot's okay, the tanker truck mode is better, and the jet mode is hot garbage. 

But let's talk about the robot mode.  Unlike the original Laser Prime, Titans Return Laser Prime's robot transforms into the entire truck, trailer and all.  The original's robot was just the cab, which hauled around a trailer accessory.  But TR Laser Prime contains multitudes.  As such, he doesn't, y'know, transform the same way.  The robot mode essentially looks the same, but different parts become different other parts in service of this desired end.  There's a pair of helmet antenna built into the collarbone of the robot mode, so that when you plug in the Head Robot Guy, there's some added bulk.  But this don't look right, and in fact it looks kinda goofy.  Oh well.  The robot has both a sword and a hand-held cannon, just like the original, but they don't light up with electronics.  

Tanker truck mode is my favorite, and it's easy to explain why.  The original Laser Prime's trailer had giant stickers covering most of the trailer, and what these stickers portrayed was a mural of Laser Prime's robot burning down a forest, followed by his name in capital letters with a cursive-y splash of "OCTANE" on top of that.  Short the "OCTANE," TR Laser Prime replicates this trailer mural perfectly.  So perfectly it appears to be just the same art, with a depiction of the original toy and everything.  Why is Optimus Prime burning down a forest?  I dunno.  But if I ever get a tattoo, I want it to be of myself burning down a forest followed by my own name in all caps.  I'd have this running down both of my arms.  Anyway, this is super awesome.  Not SO awesome that these stickers aren't a tiny tiny tiny bit oversized and so they kind of want to peel off a little at the edges whenever you so much as look at the toy sideways, but still super awesome.  It absolutely makes the truck mode, which is otherwise not terrible to begin with.

The jet mode turns the truck backwards, shoves a nose and cockpit awkwardly on the ass-end of the trailer, and barely puts tiny wings and tailfins on there.  It's awful, and I don't recommend acknowledging this mode further.

Anyway, Laser Prime definitely only has two modes, and they're both okay to great, while the stickers are a constant annoyance.  The original Laser Prime does all this stuff better, though.