Posted November 14, 2016 at 2:45 am

I was tentatively excited about the Transformers: Robots in Disguise cartoon that started up a while ago.  I was super excited about the Decepticon in the preview clip.  It was a lobster robot that transformed into a car.  And his name was Bisk.  You know, like the lobster dish, bisque, but spelled funny.  A reddish orange lobster robot who transforms into a car and is named Bisk is, like, the most perfect thing.

But the toyline decided, nahhh, and gave us nothing but Autobots and one goddamn single boring-ass Decepticon for the longest time.  Yeah, there's a Decepticon who transforms from a wolfman to an SUV.  I don't care.  Wolves are boring and also Steeljaw was boring.  He was a boring character.  Where's my fucking lobster car???

It was this lack of lobster cars (or any non-Steeljaw Decepticons in general) that put me off a mainline Transformers cartoon for the first time.  Sure, I got myself a Strongarm, whatever.  But if the cartoon is gonna dazzle me with all these animalistic Decepticon weirdos and only give me the boringest one, then I'm out.  Out, I say!

A large number of months later, finally, there's a Bisk toy.  There's several, actually!  There's some simple quick-change ones and a smaller pocket-sized one, and a "real" Warrior Class Bisk toy.  It's too late for me to start caring about the rest of this toyline I've mostly avoided, but heck yeah I'll buy a Bisk.  I ordered the Japanese TakaraTomy Adventure version of the Warrior Class Bisk toy, because he has a little more paint.  

And, frankly, he's goddamned amazing.  If this guy had been, like, wave one or wave two, I might have bought the rest of the line just on the strength of him.  Again, he's a fancy Batmobile-esque sports car that transforms into a lobster robot.  He's got big lobster claws and big lobster-stalk eyes and a little lobster tail that hangs down behind him.  He hunches over like a goofy weirdo and has a dopey grin.  He comes with two black pistols that can plug into the tops of his claws.   And his name is fucking BISK.

instead we got like sixteen goddamned sideswipes all in a row.