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Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
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Hail to the Slash
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Kinda looks like Ethan in drag in panel 3.
I actually thought it looked like Ethan in drag in panels 1 and 2 before I even got to 3.
Panel 3 reminds me more of Saya from Blood+ than anything. I think it’s the expression, the dark hair, and the particular color of her mouth.
Oh good, it’s not just me.
I actually opened this comment thread solely to ask if anyone was capable of looking at this comic and NOT seeing Ethan in drag.
I didn’t see what any of y’all were talking about when I looked at this on my mobile phone earlier today. But now? I totally see it.
Now Eliza, ladies do not break necks. They slip in poison, less chance of being convicted for the crime.
This is what makes it the perfect crime. Nobody will suspect.
And she would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that damn meddling Belgian detective.
I entirely approve of this crossover.
And his stupid dog.
Wrong Belgian. And wrong job. Also the wrong time period for either Belgian to interfere.
They could both interefere if there was a TARDIS in this crossover, too.
Now there’s a crossover I can approve.
Don’t need a tardis. Shaw’s Pygmalion was written in 1912. Poirot was a ploicema in Brussels before the Great War. Picture this, after the marriage, Higgins takes Eliza on a Grand Tour of Europe as a Honeymoon. Except visity the great capitals and resorts, they spend a year neck-deep in inbred yokels in every backwoods in Europe, because of Higgins’ obsession with regional accents.
Eliza finally snaps when they reach the (relative) civilisation of Brussels when he expects her to wait on him despite being in the best hotel in the city. The first policeman on the scene is a certain Aspirant-Inspecteur Poirot.
I believe the idea was that the Tardis would be required to get Tintin (and his little dog too) on the scene as well. Though come to that, when exactly did Tintin start his operations?
Tin Tin started on train to Soviet Russia in 1930 from Brussels to Moscow – the first and only time he actual prepared and wrote a newspaper article.
[ and what is wrong with my browser - the reply box cuts off two o words short of the actual text ..... *grumbles* ]
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Oh no it’s Rex Harrison. Everyone will know what happened and why. They just won’t know who. Because anybody could have got tired of the shouting and snapped his neck. The Luna Moth was running away from the mad for a reason. He’s hard to put up with.
Bash in his head with a frozen leg of lamb, cook the lamb, call the police, serve the detectives the lamb. Perfect crime complete. Thank you Yogscast for your helpful murdering tips.
A: Is it my imagination, or does Eliza look like young Ethan in drag?
B: …but… why My Fair Lady…?
I was going to say the same thing re: Ethan in drag.
It’s the chin. Add the large nose and short anime-dude hair and femininity of the face is kinda gone.
But given the third panel, maybe it IS a dude who tied Eliza up somewhere, took her clothes and replaced her to assassinate Higgins. Maybe it’s Freddy in disguise.
Oh, the possibilities…
I thought so too! Guess I was not the only one.
Yeah, drag-Ethan concured.
My first thought on seeing this was “what sort of weird cosplay thing is Ethan getting into now?” I had to read it a few times to realize that it wasn’t supposed to be Ethan at all.
Eliza looks like a dude with clown lips… just saying.
She looks like Ethan.
Sometimes I feel like the only person who prefers to call it Pygmalion.
My Fair Lady is the name of the musical; Pygmalion is the name of the play. And it’s only the musical that had that ending–The play implies she ends up with Freddy.
Not just implies. Shaw wrote an entire damn epilogue.
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/3825/3825-h/3825-h.htm#act5
Yes and no. Shaw was absolutely adamant about Eliza and Henry not getting together, but the actors refused to play it that way from the start. The “where the devil are my slippers” line predates My Fair Lady by a fair bit.
I think of it as “Pygmalion” too. Mostly because I read the book in high school, and never watched the musical.
I’m afraid to me “Pygmalion” is the myth about an artist who sculpts a girl and Aphrodite brings it to life. But then, I’m pretty much a life-long mythology and folklore buff.
Same here. I didn’t even know about the Shaw play for the longest time because whenever I saw “based on Pygmalion” I just assumed they were talking about the myth. Which they are, in a way, but…
I preffer pygmalion because it sounds like either a half pig/man-alien or a half pig/mailman. Maybe even a half pig/lion depending on pronunciation.
You shouldn’t kill a guy just cuz he’s an asshole. You can only kick his ass for that.
Second.
Anecdote time!
When I was younger, I thought the play was ridiculous because Shaw had Eliza hook up with Freddy. Obviously Rex Harrison was the better choice! They had such *zing*! But now that I’m older, I still think it’s ridiculous the way Shaw ended Pygmalion (he had a grudge against his mistress something fierce), but I look at My Fair Lady and go “…really? Really?”
It’s not romantic anymore because now I look at the power gap and realize Eliza is not ever going to be happy or in control of herself with Higgins. Love and hate may be two sides of the same coin, but that doesn’t mean arguments = love.
See also: The Phantom of the Opera, and the day I realized Raoul is actually a pretty good guy and not interfering with Christine’s twoo wuv with the tragically misunderstood Phantom.
Yeah, that’s a bit easier to get if you read the book first. It’s a bit harder to romanticize the Phantom when he sticks Raoul in a torture chamber and threatens to blow up the entire Opera Populaire if Christine doesn’t marry him.
Huh…random experiment just occurred to me: force a ton of Twilight fans to read Phantom of the Opera and see how many of them think Erik’s the good guy.
Or get them to watch the 1920′s film. Bit hard to romanticize the Lon Chaney version, no?
And then see how they react if you put a picture of either musical-version Erik or Lon Chaney Erik on the cover.
I dunno. Hanging people did a pretty effective job of convincing me he was a creepy stalker.
Yeah, that pretty much happened. >< Basically, the end result is that Erik and Raoul switch personalities, only with added saccharine and abuse, respectively. *Eyeroll*
It probably doesn't actually surprise anyone that that's mostly done with the 2004 movie version, rather than the original book characters, does it?
"But Erik was all dark and tortured and sexy! How can that fop Raoul come between their twoo luv?? I bet if he beat her enough she'd totes go back to the Phantom, and I'm gonna write the fanfic to prove it!!1!"
To be fair, most fangirls have only seen the latest film, where the Phantom has a mild sunburn and Raoul has the charisma of moldy socks. If I were an abused teenage girl and my choice was Gerard Butler or moldy socks, I’d pick Gerard Butler. But I’m not an abused teenage girl.
Oh come on. We all know you would still pick Gerard Butler.
I haven’t read or seen Pygmalion, but the ending of My Fair Lady always bugged me partly because of the points you bring up, and partly because, if she hooks up with Higgins in the end, poor Freddy just doesn’t really serve any purpose in the narrative any more.
Oh, he still serves a purpose. He’s the foil to Higgins, charming and adoring where Higgins is tactless and disapproving. And he sings a very nice song for inclusion later on CDs of Broadway covers.
I admit, I’m a big sucker for musicals, but man, what is with the tendency for Broadway adaptations to romanticize the asshole in a love triangle? Higgens, Erik…hell, from what I’ve heard, even Eponine from Les Miserables was much more of a creeper in the book.
Not a creeper so much as younger and more clearly traumatized by growing up in poverty and not really a credible romantic rival. (Though still possessing more personality than Cosette. Or Marius.)
Maybe it’s because I actually read the original book first, but I always felt the Phantom being sympathetic was entirely dependent on his not getting the girl. He wins, and he gets away with murdering at least two guys and basically ruining a young woman’s life. No one likes that. But because he lets her go, he shows he actually does care for another human being and becomes appropriately tragic. Christine shows him some kindness, which is honestly the best ending he could hope for, and he goes on to die alone. … Then Weber screwed it up, of course, but at least it establishes he’s been suffering nonstop for ten years. Someone had to pay for that sequel.
Hmm, I have never thought about it from that perspective. The narrative would be dull if the Phantom won…
I would note that Shaw’s epilogue put Eliza together with Freddy not so much because that’s what he wanted, but because the actors and the public insisted on shipping her and Henry. The ideal ending would have been for her to spurn them both.
I write about this at some length here, if that’s of interest.
Fascinating.
Interesting – thanks for that. He had a similar reaction to The Devil’s Disciple being turned into a romance but didn’t go so far to deny it, he just said that when that happened it ceased to be his play and became the actors’ own version.
Thank you for the link
I was interested enough to open it last night, waited until I was actually awake to read it. It was quite interesting, and makes me want to read/put on the original play. I barely remembered watching My Fair lady in school at one point, never remembered the ending, either because I didn’t get to see it or didn’t care for it. I LIKE the original ending, though. Probably helps that my only recollections of Higgins were the thing about the vowels when we’re introduced to his linguistic studies (that IS from the same movie, right? It’s been a while), and just somehow… thinking he was a bit of a pompous ass.
Good essay.
Thank you for the great read!
When I was a little girl and read Shaw’s ending I didn’t buy it.
As an adult woman, though, I kind of like the idea that she marries Freddy. Because the age in which Eliza lives is one in which it’s very difficult for a woman to be an adult woman and unmarried, therefore Freddy is possibly the only choice for someone who wants to remain emancipated.
Honestly, even though he mistreats her, I feel her desire to one day best him is what kept her around. The desire to watch him need HER assistance to make her feel more powerful than him, is what makes it fullfilling for her.
And dreams… of gouging out his eyyyyyyyyyes!
Ethan in a dress………..my brain and my other head is having one of those argument again.
Eliza would make the best Avenger.
Eliza is credit to team.
I think Robin got it wrong. Eliza’s an Assassin….or a FOXHOUND operative.
In Edwardian London she would either be recruited by a Proto-MI-6 or a later incarnation of the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
And Eliza’s son John would of course become a doctor that specializes in talking to animals.
Wait, scratch that. She would be Dr. Dolittle’s descendant, obviously.
And while she does not share her storied ancestor’s rapport with animals, studying with Higgins finally awakens her inborn talent with language and mannerisms, allowing her to fit in anywhere and making her even more of an asset to the fledgeling MI-6.
SNAP!
I’ve grown accustomed to your FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Yeah, that’s probably closer to the ending that Shaw would’ve approved. He was QUITE the misanthrope.
May Lerner and Lowe forgive me:
“I have often wanted to kill your ass
Because I’m so sick of the arrogant way that you harrass!
Well, now it’s done and I’m on the run
From the room where I just snapped your neck!”
Leslie and Robin are talking and watching movies together.
Well, talking about movies together anyway. Leslie doesn’t have to have watched it recently (or at all) to be doubtful of the accuracy of Robin’s version here.
THANK YOU so much. I love that musical to death, but dear God in heaven that ending frustrates me. Wee little budding feminist Wynne could tell something was off even at the age of 11.
It gets even more frustrating if you read Pygmalion. Regardless of whether or not Shaw wanted to write the epilogue, it’s pretty clear that he didn’t want Eliza to fetch Higgins’ slippers for the rest of eternity.
Also, relevant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bekPlGy0ZoY
I just saw My Fair Lady for the first time this weekend, and what do I find in the first Shortpacked! of the week? A parody of My Fair Lady… coincidences are funny like that
It’s not a coincidence, you’re just the Main Character. Of everything.
Oh please. My Fair Lady is just Rex Harrison (supposedly as Professor Higgins but how can you tell? Could be Dr. Doolittle just as easily. ) and Eliza shouting OOGHHHHOOWWWWWWWWWGGHHH! at each other.
The really SICK one is Carousel. That musical will drive you completely mad. A thug to dumb to be a real thug, marries a lady, smacks her around, gets himself killed trying to rob a clam bake, goes to heaven and then comes back to try and tame his idiot daughter who nobody likes because of him. Shirley Jones as Julie gives a truly freaky speech about ‘how a man can hit ya and it doesn’t hurt at all… ‘. Eewwggh.
And the really ear-shredding one is the Music Man with that #@#$ing “Shipoopi” song that Buddy Hackett does. If you started singing Shipoppi in eal life you would be pushed into the traffic. Maybe by a police officer.
Hey, I like The Music Man.
But yeah, Shipoopi is an earworm of epic proportions.
I’m with you on Shipoopi, but I do genuinely enjoy “Ya Got Trouble”.
I blame Stockholm Syndrome. My mom must have made me sit through that film about 50 times.
So agreed on Carousel.
Hey now! How can you possibly dislike a song about the great uplifting American pastime of groping women?
Nah, the really awful one is Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. Which includes a lovely little ditty between the brothers called “Sobbin’ Women”, about how great it would be to just kidnap some girls and marry them. And yes, it makes direct reference to the Rape of the Sabine Women.
But the theatrical version has one of the greatest film bloopers ever if you know where and when to look.
Ooooh… so close. I think E.Doolittle being asked to join The League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen would have been funnier on more levels.
I tend to assume that was how this strip originally read. But perhaps not. Maybe its genesis was “what if every film had a post-credits epilogue like the Marvel Cinemaverse?”
…actually, the strip makes more sense (in terms of existing at all) from that angle.
But yeah, a funny premise for LXG.
I’ve never seen My Fair Lady so WOOSH! *over my head*
Until Friday night, I woulda been right there with you.
But now that you’ve made a comic with it I’ll definitely have to watch. *adds to list of movies I need to see*
When we did it in high school, the director had *Eliza* speak that line, either to change the balance of power or to indicate that she totally knew what he was going to say. You could, I suppose, also have Henry Higgins speak that line in a penitent voice, as an indication that he’s trying to go back to the last place where their relationship was okay (he’s wrong, of course, but he wouldn’t be expected to know that.)
I think it would be kind of funny to have them both speak it simultaneously, with HH giving Eliza a look like, “Am I really that predictable?”
Eliza has to make a hard choice between an obsessed stalker “People stop and stare. They don’t bother me. There is nowhere else on Earth that I would rather be.” and a closeted asshole. (Seriously, “confirmed bachelor” was code for homosexual in the Victorian era!)
Ideally, Eliza throws those slippers into the fire and gives a “Uh huh, you want to try that again?” glare of death at Higgins, then runs off to get herself that flowershop job and earn a decent wage and find a middle-class man who isn’t insane.
But that doesn’t make for good drama, so we’ll just have her romantically hook up with Higgins at the end.
If you think the text of the play makes him appear homosexual, you ought to read Shaw’s coda.
Some choice quotes:
“When Higgins excused his indifference to young women on the ground that they had an irresistible rival in his mother, he gave the clue to his inveterate old-bachelordom.”
“To put it shortly, she knew that for some mysterious reason he had not the makings of a married man in him, according to her conception of a husband as one to whom she would be his nearest and fondest and warmest interest. Even had there been no mother-rival, she would still have refused to accept an interest in herself that was secondary to philosophic interests. Had Mrs. Higgins died, there would still have been Milton and the Universal Alphabet”
Although to be honest, Shaw makes him sound more asexual than attracted to men.
darn it, replied to the wrong message
“Seriously, “confirmed bachelor” was code for homosexual in the Victorian era!”
Sort of. It was also a euphemism for an insufferable stamp collecting myron who wore his socks backwards so the fairies (folk tale creatures) couldn’t fool him, or a else guy who never really grew up. It was not a flattering phrase and implied that you had problems relating to others that not even your house keeping staff could adequately manage.
What about homos who collect little kids toys and discuss the fiction about them on the internet like it was significant fiction? Or a tragedy written by Gilbert and Sullivan (in the case of LSotW?)
Well I’ve finally caught up with shortpacked!
I was kind of obsessed with My Fair Lady in high school, so I ended up stealing this double playbook- It had the original Pygmalion and the musical version. Shaw, the original author, had a foreward saying, basically, that Higgins was an asshat and having Eliza fall for him would be the worst ending ever. However, the musical had a foreward from whoever wrote that, saying that Freddie was creepy ans GBS was wrong.
I always thought Freddie was a bit of a milksop, but Higgins wasn’tall that better. Honestly, I never really understood why thosewere the only two options.
Eliza was a grimy flower-seller with no savings or income whatsoever. Regardless of how well she cleaned up, she had no mobility – if she left Higgins without jumping directly into the arms of another man, the time spent alone in the meantime would rapidly result in her status decomposing to roughly what it was previously, plus or minus an ability to ‘put on airs’ more convincingly and get smacked down for acting above her station. So basically her choices were limited to the asshat, the milksop, or her loving father, simply because no other men were taking an interest in her at the time.
Why didn’t other men take an interest? Well, she wasn’t presented publicly until the climax. Prior to then, who knew about her?
Theoretically, she could have gotten a job in a florist’s shop. Enough money to stay independent, high enough above her previous station to keep her sane, and low enough to go under the radar of the hoity-toities. In other words, firmly middle class.
Exactly! If I remember correctly, that was Eliza’s plan to start with when she went to Higgins. But then all of a sudden, it’s a matter of which idiot she has to marry, and all her previous plans are never brought up again.
Do you know, in the 1943 version of “Phantom of the Opera”, they broke the hero love interest into two parts (it’s heavily implied in this version that the Phantom is actually her dad, so that’s out), one presumes so they could still have some kind of conflict about who the singer, Christine, would end up with.
The great part is that, despite it being Susannah Foster as Christine and Nelson Eddy as one of the suitors (the story being chosen as a SF/NE vehicle– they did a lot of musicals together), in the end, Christine ditches them both in favour of her career. Which is doubly awesome in that not only does it take place in 1880 or so, but this version was done in the early Forties. I’m giving some credit to Rosie the Riveter.
lol, I think she should have just slapped him at the end of the movie, but lets add this to the many other potential endings it should have had.
I fist bumped the air so hard for this. I’ve ALWAYS thought that as the credits rolled, Eliza was either shoving his slippers up his ass or slitting his throat. This works, too, lol. I’m so with Robin on this one.
Also, I agree with the others who say Eliza looks like Ethan in drag. And now I wanna see Ethan in drag, lol.
I always liked the ending myself, but then again, I usually let the story take me where it wants without thinking about it too much.
I always thought the simple fact that he was in love with her gave her the power she needed in the relationship, after all, he basically begs her to come back to him, well, as best as he can being who he is. She tells him to stuff it and leaves.
But it turns out she likes him even though he’s an asshole. She’s already proven she can take him straight on and win. Maybe their life together will be a series of wars, but she’s hardly come back to be his footstool. She, in fact, has far more power over him than he has over her.
So he pretends he won, and she lets him have his pride, even though they both know she’s coming back as an equal and not to be his bitch.
…so they’re basically Amber and Mike?
Pinch excessive.
I had to watch this movie again, after seeing this strip. Curse you Willis!
Willis, my love for you knows no bounds. This just made my day.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who watches My Fair Lady at Thanksgiving…
Why is psychopathic murder considered comedy?
You must be new to comedy.
1. It’s the exaggeration. As George Carlin once noted: In comedy, you have to have one thing that is way out of proportion. That’s what makes it funny.
2. The last panel, which is where the actual joke is.
In other words, even though the “psychopathic murder” is somewhat funny, because it’s an overreaction, the joke is actually in Robin and Leslie’s discussion about it. Of course, by the time you’ve broken it down like that, trying to figure out why it’s funny — it isn’t, anymore.