You can only add Mickey ears to so many things, you guys.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
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Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Dammit Faz!!!
Some jokes NEVER get old. Especially when they involve your mom.
Who are you, Muscle Man?
No, just a man who always has a few nickels on hand…
But why would you pa a nickel for his mom when your mom is free?
Stephen! Its a courtesy! Like tipping the delivery boy.
No, dude, that’s when the jokes involve … MY MOM! WHOOOO! Also, I just hope this means Lucas takes a backseat, and Pixar’s storywriters take a crack at it. Even better if they could somehow coax J.J. Abrams into directing (with hopefully less lens flare).
^me, btw, if anyone keeps score, which they don’t. Also, “Disney Princess Leia,” *shudder*
Whoa. My original post got retconned out of existence? Ooooookay. I guess creative use of one’s nametag is frowned upon. Good to know?
wait, pixar… CLONE WARS IS GOING TO GET AWESOME!
let me dream…
Heh. My best friend of 17 years (Who had been my first girlfriend a couple years ago) screamed NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! on Facebook. When I saw her post I also screamed NOOOOOOOO! on Facebook
But…but…I liked the lens flare! It gave it…flair!
I need to link back to this comic next time I try to explain to someone what a 1st world problem is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN2WzQzxuoA =3
You just made my day!
When does she get her puffy dress?
Forget that noise, when do the other princesses get revealing bikinis?
The internet has you covered! If it wasn’t done before Disney bought Star Wars, I will bet my testicles that things were drawn up and done within the first 5 minutes of the news.
…did you ever see The Little Mermaid or Aladdin?
I think in these days and times, the correct question is when do little girls start dressing up in slave bikinis.
*shudder*
“Start”?
Toddlers and Tiaras probably has this one covered.
Does this mean we’ll have women dressed in slave-Leia outfits wandering Disneyland for photo ops?
Because I am strangely for that.
Pretty sure that’s been happening at Hollywood Studios for years…at least, during Star Wars Weekends.
Look on the bright side guys.
No, on this matter, there is only the dark side.
New Star Wars movies without George Lucas at the helm. This is not a bad thing. It may not be good, that remains to be seen, but less George Lucas is definitely not bad.
I approve this message.
Almost certain to be another FU to the Extended Universe, though, which is annoying to some.
As long as EU is consistant with itself, think of it as an alternate continuity. Problem solved.
My guess is, they’re going to treat the EU like a 30-year-long brainstorming session, and pick out of it any characters or ideas they like while leaving the rest behind.
So… exactly like Clone Wars treats it?
I know (I’m serious, I’m glad that he is not anymore in charge), but it his comment was a good moment for making that joke
On the other hand, I hope that they don’t throw away the EU, I really enjoyed the SW: Legacy saga.
At least he’s not making another possible KH crossover joke.
I still want to see a Sully, X-Men Beast and Max Rebo crossover. I don’t care if it’s an old joke, all the blue characters together in a buddy comedy!
Da ba de da ba di.
Since Disney also owns the Muppets, we need Gonzo in there as well.
I want to see a floating Senate pod in the New Republic’s Senate with the Muppets sitting there as a cameo. And when an announcement makes the Senate react negatively, I want to see Kermit flailing his arms wildly.
A Pixar Ewok movie.
On reading this I thought – ‘Oh my god, an ewok movie that’s unambiguously good!’
Then I remembered Cars 2 and the fact that Pixar has already popped its ‘bad movie’ cherry.
Aw c’mon, Cars 2 wasn’t bad. It wasn’t great, but it was entertaining, which is quite an accomplishment for a movie where Larry the goddamn Cable Guy is the lead.
You say Cars 2 wasn’t great, but it ranked lower with critics on Rotten Tomatoes than Transformers: Dark of the Moon.
You say that like Rotten Tomatoes’ rankings were an actual measure of quality.
I really think the Rotten Tomatoes comparison is unfair. The bar that Cars 2 had to beat was set high, because it followed so many great Pixar movies. The bar that Dark of the Moon had to beat was subterranean. If it didn’t have math as bad as 5 – 1 + 1 = 6, it was a relief.
*Scratches head* While it’s hardly a ringing endorsement, I’m pretty sure Cars 2′s 38% is higher than Transformers 3′s 36%. Audience ratings were higher for Transformers, though.
That said, Cars 2 was tolerable enough, but definitely Pixar’s weakest outing. Haven’t gotten around to seeing Dark of the Moon yet, so I can’t really venture a personal opinion on the relative merits of the two movies.
Cars 2 exists for one reason, and one reason only: Cars merchendise sells best of all Pixar properties. For Transformers, doing that works since its why the franchise exists in the first place. But for Pixar, who always did movies for their own sake… it was an outlier, a caveat to corporate masters and marketing department demands, and it shows.
My Son, who is 4, loves Cars 1 & 2. They’re about talking Cars. I think they made better movie than they needed too. 2 may be pixar’s weakest, but I can think of many, many, worse children’s films.
Well, yeah, of course. We were talking about *Pixar* films. They are an entire different breed of beast than the average kids movie…in fact I don’t think most of them *are* kids movies. They’re just movies that you can take your kids too. If you like them to learn about facing firey death with dignity and things like that.
I haven’t seen either of the Cars movies. The cars in those movies always struck me as being creeeeepy… (shudders)
Maybe it’s because my first real exposure to “living” cars was Christine?
Aren’t the Ewoks part of what made everyone hate Lucas in the first place?
No, I think we should see Statler and Waldorf as SW Senators.
I’m all for that, actually!
You forgot Aladdin’s genie. It’s not complete without him.
Whoa, the disney/star wars news got a comic before the new transformers game did. Hope Willis makes one.
http://www.shortpacked.com/2012/comic/book-14/04-proposition-for-69k/heedsthecall/ That’s a comic about the Fall of Cybertron game so…
He’s talking about the TFPrime game that came out on Tuesday.
I don’t have much to say about it. It’s a Wii game. The end!
A TFPrime game? More to the point than platform, its a liscenced game released while the series it is liscenced for is still airing.
Have those EVER been any good? They always end up rushed to get a timely release date, with so much of the budget blown on getting the liscence that there wasn’t enough for god gameplay.
I’m pretty sure that the Armada game was released while the series was still running, or had just ended, at least, and it’s still arguably the best Transformers game ever (I haven’t played FoC but I was very disappointed by WfC.)
The worst Transformers game is the one that came out twenty years after the series it was based on ended. So I’m pretty sure there’s an error in your logic somewhere.
Would that be the one that was so bad it didn’t even get a US release?
I haven’t been paying attention, are we getting a Thunderwing toy?
Not that we know of.
I can’t tell if Faz is exactly the dumb kind of joker they’re talking about or if he’s trolling them hadcore.
It’d be really fun to imagine that Faz is actually just as bright as he was when he was introduced, and has just been a troll this whole time.
He realized that Mike was his idol and decided to dedicate his life to fucking with people (and their moms)
I just had the thought that he’s completely normal and polite around other people, but around the Shortpacked cast he suddenly started acting like an ass, just because on his first day he arbitrarily decided to be an ass to this particular group of people for no particularly reason.
For some reason this just seems awesome to me.
and he and his girlfriend are actually just platonic friends but have a bet going regarding how uncomfortable they can make people by describing their theoretical sex life in the most disturbing terms possible (they both get laid in healthy relationships with other people offscreen, because it’s just the Shortpacked crew they mess with.
You managed to make Faz an interesting character. You just won the universe.
You can’t scare us with your sorcerer’s ways Faz.
Faz finds your lack of faith disturbing.
Enough of this! Faz! Release him!
And Faz has made the statement that irks me down to my core. Great point though by Jacob and Ken
Disney now proudly present the ultimate mashup of their subsidiary properties.. The X-Wingmen. Obi-wan Xenobi, Luke Eyeblasters, Princess Jean Greya, Hankbacca the Beastiee, 1C3-M4N, R2-Doop2, Han Wolvo, taking on Emperor Magnetine, his henchman Darth Sabretooth and his Imperial Brotherhood of Evil Mutant Clonetroopers.
Okay, Luke Eyeblasters is pretty great.
R2-Doop2
If you’re going to mash Cyclops with Luke, then it makes a lot more sense to mash Jean with Mara.
This is hilarious because I have in fact already heard the “Leia is now a Disney princess” joke. Dead. Horse. Faz.
NEXT WEEK: How Syndey Yus spent her Election Day.
This is exactly how I feel when people point out that pokemon is similar to dog fighting. Guys, I’ve been hearing this since I was in middle school and by then I’d already come to this conclusion. If you’re not going to say you’re FOR or AGAINST it and instead just point it out like it’s some deep soul-searchy fact that NOONE has thought of yet, think again. We’ve all been hearing it for years and its just useless information to try to talk to me about it more unless you have an entire engaging conversation planned out around the subject.
Or when people point out that World of Warcraft contains racial stereotyping…
It’s like, we know. Really.
Or when people ask why nobody ever attacks Sailor Moon while she’s transforming.
http://headtrip.keenspot.com/d/20121019.html
Actually, Rex made a pretty funny comment the other day about Luke blowing up Epcot and Han Solo complaining because they write their checks now.
Wait for the new characters from Episode VII to come out.
Then the jokes about them being Disney characters in disguise will come out in full force.
Your mom came in full force for a nickel.
…dad?
Nope. The mail man.
Or, in other words, Zaps REAL Dad.
That’s funny, I thought Episode VII was called “Caravan of Courage: An Ewok Adventure.” Are they remaking that?
For years, Kuzco has been Disney’s prettiest princess, but now Princess Leia is here to take the title away!
So Chewbacca gets demoted to wise-cracking mascot/sidekick?
BUMMER!
GRAAAAAAGH!!!!
*laugh track*
(I laughed a bit too hard at your joke & now cherry soda is leaking out of my nose.)
THAT’S MY CHEWIE!
*Rolls credits with cheesy ’80′s music score.*
- a_o_t_8.
Just so long as they keep him the F away from Sernpidal in the new movies.
He already WAS the wisecracking sidekick. You just don’t speak Wookie.
Aggg! Faz! Of all trolls he is the one most likely!
I’m hoping that with Lucas signed off on future SW’s projects, we might see some decent storytelling, and hope to all that’s worth hoping to, there will be no more ‘Jar Jar’ character parodies introduced.
I’m more interested in the announcement that Disney is going to make Star Wars 7.
I mean, knee-jerk reactions aside, it’s not like Lucas has done such a hot job either, and Disney owns Marvel, whose own movie studios have done extremely well adapting geeky material…
I’m just sayin’…
You realize when Episode 7 comes out in 2015, that Mark Hamill will be the same age Alec Guinness was when the original film was released?
that gif of jackie chan making the “your head a splode” gesture goes here
But isn’t that just the beauty of it? One’s career was capped by the performance he hated, the other’s was dominated by the shadow of his earliest role’s greatness.
Now Luke gets to be the wise and noble aged Jedi master we knew he’d turn out to be. The timelines and ages would match up, oh, about where the current book series is. I want to see Luke and Ben roaming the galaxy figuring out that eldritch entity. Too bad Jake Lloyd totally hates Star Wars and acting now, he’d have made an interesting Ben Skywalker. (Growing up with the name Luke, I can totally sympathize with him.
Eh, Kairi’s actually supposed to be plot-relevant next game. Or at least, moreso.
Gaaah. Replied to wrong person here.
Which probably means they could have Hamill come back as Luke, training a new Jedi…maybe his son, who knows?
I ain’t even mad about this.
I have co-workers that think this’ll be the dooming of Star Wars, even after pointing out how Marvel’s done since their being bought out by Disney. It really isn’t the end of the world here.
Seriously, considering the creative difference between George Lucas in 1999 and the Clone Wars writers, can Disney actually do worse than Lucas?
It should be pointed out that Marvel Studios had already produced two movies, had a third one in production, two more in pre-production and a sixth in development. Disney’s role in the Marvel films has mostly been to stand back and let Marvel Studios continue to do its thing. A new Star Wars movie, however, would be made entirely under Disney’s supervision, and would likely show they fingerprints a great deal more than the Marvel films did.
Lucasfilm will continue to operate the same way Marvel Studios does, as a separate division. Production of the new films will be overseen by Kathleen Kennedy, George Lucas’ handpicked successor. The new trilogy was in the works for months before the Disney deal was finalized.
All of this information has been made public. There’s no reason to think Disney will be heavy-handed with the property, especially when they specifically stated Lucas’ treatments for the next three movies were what they were really buying for the $4 billion.
All I care about with Disney buying Star Wars is that they give us a Star Wars world in Kingdom Hearts.
…so I’m not the only one thinking that…Light Saber Keyblade? Sora…it is your destiny!
I’m pulling for shooting down Tie fighters and bombing the Death Star in my Gummi Ship. Bonus points for building your Gummi Ship to look like a smaller Death Star.
Hell. Yes.
And a Sith as one of the unrevealed Thirteen Darknesses.
Aw cheesus darnit!
(See my previous reply.)
My gawd, think of the crossovers. Obi Wan, Yen Sid, Tellah, and Dr. Strange getting together for a council of the wise. Darth Vader, Dr. Doom, and Sephiroth working together on Organization XIII. Thor hanging out with Hercules. Deadpool and Jack Sparrow on a quest for more booze. Kairi and Squirrel Girl getting fed up with their irrelevance to the plot and teaming up for a side adventure where in they save a town of Moogles from the loan-sharking schemes of the dastardly Ultros, along the way fighting and defeating Galactus, destroying the Death Star, and handing Chernobog his butt.
I would buy this game twice.
Deadpool and Jack Sparrow … together ….
Steel Clan Sentinel Dark Troopers!
But Thor already hangs out with Hercules…
You forgot Goofy and Jar Jar being BFFs.
Oh the horror…
The real issue is that Disney owns both Marvel and Lucas Arts so we must live in constant fear of Jar Jar Binks, Herald of Galactus.
Disney bought marvel and Lucas inorder to bring out Jaxxon
I didn’t mind the comic of Vader bowing down & saying “my master” to a wrinkled & hooded Mickey
Disney had a pretty good crack at it themselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUbH1SEsqiE&feature=youtu.be
has a howard the duck remake joke been made yet?
Oh come on, that’s just nuts.
A direct-to-video sequel, on the other hand, is almost a given.
I think they finished off on the actually making DTV sequels now. They sold them bundled in with whatever animated canon films were released on Blu-Ray this year, but they don’t seem to be making any new ones.
Don’t be silly. Luke is the princess.
♫♪ When you wish upon a Death Star… ♪♫
Ha! I saw the same macro Faz must have seen. Luckily it was the day the news broke, so it was still funny then.
Yea? no shit faz!
YES, but now you can add Jedi Robes and Light Sabers to even more things!
Great, now they’ll put Jedi robes on Sportscenter ended with a top ten light saber battles.
Followed by a Princess Leia costumes on Dancing with the Star Wars(wait, I may actually watch then).
I think this will be great. The movies that have come out based on Marvel characters since 2009 have been great. I’m sure the trend will continue.
All I can say is, “So what?” I mean, okay, Disney has bought the rights to Star Wars (and pretty much everything else under the sun, from the sounds of it)–I’m Canadian, and about fifteen years or so ago they got the rights to the RCMP merchandise. So now the long, storied tradition of the Northwest Mounted Police has ended with cute little over-priced plastic statues of Mickey in the red serge. And you can buy pins of our flag superimposed over the mouse ears. ><
Fuck you, Disney. Fuck. You.
You’ll always have Dudley Do-Right.
…so does this make the droids like Flounder and Sebastian?
In Episode VII, R2-D2 will sing and C-3PO will dance.
R2-D2 and WALL-E duet. Now.
Didn’t they already do that when they guest starred on the Muppet Show?
I’m more worried about the fate of Monkey Island than that of Star Wars, personally. Presumably Jack Sparrow will be taking all of Guybrush’s best lines in another dreadful POTC movie before long.
Yeah, this was my second thought, after not being able to decide if it would be good or bad for Star Wars.
Carrie Fisher was just interviewed on a local radio station the other day and she actually did say that Princess Leia was now going to be entered into the Disney Princess line.
If Leia is a Disney Princess does that make Threepio a Disney fairy.
Best Disney Princess Leia you’ll see all day: http://th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/305/3/f/disney_princess_leia_by_bewareitbites-d5jobb5.jpg
I want this to be a tv show now.
More Disney princesses need to pack heat.
Nobody seems to have asked the most important question. Does this mean that Disney now owns Willow?
Even more importantly, one company now owns both the makers of “Howard the Duck” AND the makers of “Howard the Duck.”
(Oh, and the universe of Uncle Scrooge comics and DuckTales, just for extra mind screw.)
This comics speaks to me on a deep, personal level.
Sure Faz, and that makes Han a Disney prince. First one I can see what she sees in him. Lets just hope the bedroom is the one place where he doesn’t shoot first.
What I don’t get is why anybody thinks this means major changes are in store. I mean, Disney and Lucasfilm have been tight for ages.
Because they want a new SW film every 2-3 years….forever.
People might hate Lucas but at least he had a story he wanted to tell. (contrary to some rumours, the second draft of the original starwars script call it epp4, cinemas didnt want to confuse people so chopped it off the title).
Disney doesnt have a story, they have a IP they want to earn cash every few years.
Also Fanfilms will suffer. Lucas handed out yearly awards for fanfilms in his universe. Will disney?
What does this mean for the “Star Wars Holiday Special”? Is that thing going to see a dvd release now that Disney owns Star Wars?
I love the negative reaction is “They’re gonna make Star Wars a merchindise driven childrens franchise” which Y’know it already was.
People are having a negative reaction? I’m thinking this is hilarious.
Well, okay, I’m a little bit disturbed by Disney becoming the all-comsuming borg of media empires, but that’s not an issue with Star Wars specifically.
Haven’t you read America: The Book? There are only five media companies worth mentioning in the US. Time-Warner, Disney, GE, Viacom(well, technically National Amusements), and News Corporation(aka, Fox).
If it isn’t a wholly owned subsidiary of one of those five, it will be soon enough. Been like that for decades now.
Right; Disney was just one of several, keeping to itself and seeming content to keep churning out its own products and leaving everything else alone. And then teaming up with Pixar, it got a taste of blood, and now it’s suddenly all NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM. Hide your children!
Yeah, its scaery, but Sad…Lucas Arts was, and Marvel Studios could have been strong independents.
It is weird about Disney. You haven’t really heard much about them and suddenly they are buying up these big time entertainment properties. Makes me wonder where they are going with this.
Same thing they were going for when they bought ABC and with it A&E and ESPN. Money.
They’ve been in acquisitions mode since the 90′s under Eisner’s reign.
Where are they going? They’re going the same place every corporation has been going since the 80′s and the death of federal antitrust enforcement — market control and oligopoly.
Excellent observation.
Personally, I think they’ve lost faith in their ability to cultivate new animated franchises, and instead want to play it much safer by cultivating established ones.
The economy has been really rough on studios as well, and star power alone is no longer cutting mustard.
But brand recognition is (to a relative greater degree).
It’s why we see movies called Battle Ship being released. The nostalgia market simply has a better (again, relatively speaking) time putting butts in the seats.
This is effected weirdly by the screwy financial practices of movie studios, which obscures the amount paid to make a movie. We can also see a lot of failure in these endeavors with the Green Lantern move and John Carter, which grossly overspent on their production and did not turn a box office profit.
The studios are in a dangerous business, and they are scared.
I don’t know if one can really point fingers at modern day Disney for not doing anything new, since classically they’re best known for their not-so-proprietary franchises “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” and “Pinocchio” and “Sleeping Beauty” and “Cinderella.”
That’s a good point, and that does show a strong precedence for them taking other properties (just open source fairy tales for the older stuff you cited) and making it there own.
John Carter was excellent though, dont ever put that in the same paragraph as that other movie you mentioned!
It also had some suspiciously bad marketing.
God, I want a sequel so bad.
But supposedly Rich Ross lost his job** over it’s perceived flop, so that is sadly a long shot to hope for.
**(I personally think he got the pink slip for trying to pass the buck to Pixar.)
“Personally, I think they’ve lost faith in their ability to cultivate new animated franchises, and instead want to play it much safer by cultivating established ones.”
That is an interesting observation. A few years ago I thought something big was going to happen with Disney when they had a new Winnie the Pooh film and the Epic Mickey game but nothing ever happened.
Ah… If they are, they won’t be for long.
http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/11/04/entertainment-us-boxoffice-wreckitralph-idUSBRE8A30ES20121104
Well, when you get off of the internet, there’s some very clever jokes being made about the Disney/LucasFilm buyout. But stay on the drone-network and you get the same tripe revisited.
When you become assimilated, you have to make those allowances.
CIVIL WAR – I’m with Luke Spider-Solo
God, Jacob looks horrible.
Me thinks he needs to get off the internets for a while.
Disney truly is The SuckyD’s of Entertainment!