Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
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guest strip
hamsters
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justice league
ken
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Galasso is a lost cause.
That courtship must’ve been… interesting.
She rocked his world so hard that he forgot everything he thought he knew about sex.
Judging by the fact that the only way galasso could have a daughter that hot is that the mother is pamela Anderson I would say that is very true
Galasso confuses me so much. What kind of upbringing did this man have?
It involved Mike and a time machine.
I trust you, you know time machines.
Spoiler: Galasso is Mike and Amber’s daughter.
My mind is blown.
This explains how Galasso brought Mike back!
He used a Lazarus Pit
Head. Exploded.
Actually, Galasso’s their secondborn.
I guess Galasso could be from the future. He used to be immortal.
http://www.shortpacked.com/2006/comic/book-3-is-totally-gay/04-head-of-the-schemin/heir-2/
Or he ran out of Oley for men.
Galasso is Rhas Ahs Gul, he used the lazarus pit so.many timea that he forgot basic stuff. I mean Conquest is too similar to Talia, brilliant yet her father wont let her become the next head of the demon.
Y’know what… that makes a sick sort of sense.
Galasso a hipster? Whould’ve thought?
Oh boy! Finally, Galasso backstory!
I think that was heartwarming, but I’m not sure.
So he only knows she’s his daughter because he was told. Hmm… that would be an interesting flashback.
And I was right… wow.
He must have HAD SEX, right? Or… was he ALWAYS as gender-blind as he is now? Did something… happen to him?
Pamela said Connie was HIS daughter. So unless he got sperm-jacked, I guess so.
Surely at this point it’s more likely that Pamela was simply lying.
So you’re saying that Connie really is his son? I hope someone lets Connie know this.
Maybe he had some strange kind of brain-damage that prevents him from distinguishing genders.
Yes, that has been discussed here some time ago. Turns out there is an actual condition/syndrome/something for this, though its name was too complicated for me to memorize.
See those lines on his head? That’s not hair; he’s completely bald. those are surgical scars.
I’ve decided to run under the theory that Galasso is actually a woman, but is so gender blind he doesn’t realize it, and that’s how he’ll learn that his daughter can be his true heir.
*Plays “All You Zombies” on the Muzak*
maybe he’s like Mr. Monk and after his wife died he had a psychological breakdown or something.
Pretty sure Monk already had some of his issues like food touching. I vaugely remember a flashback where he was meeting his in laws where that occured.
But while already messed up, Monk worsens greatly after her death.
After watching the entire 8 seasons, I can tell you- he was always OCD, it got a lot better after he met his wife, got a lot worse after she died.
He does have unexplained access to “raise people from the dead” technology.
I wouldn’t assume that he’s had sex necessarily.
… so if he can inexplicably bring people back from the dead, and he misses Pamela… why not bring her back from the dead?
Who said she’s dead? Maybe she just handed him a baby and left. Or, hell, maybe she stormed off because she was sick of Galasso wondering what the heck that tiny blonde thing was.
I assume “dearly departed” means she’s dead.
Normally I would assume the same, but with Galasso you never know. He could be using the phrase literally instead of idiomatically.
I must know more. I WILL know more.
Willis, if tomorrow you wake up with the memory of a strange man inside your bedroom, holding a crossbow and a notebook and demanding details about Galasso’s personal life, don’t worry about it.
Things like that don’t happen. I was clearly just a dream.
Why am I seeing Galasso/Conquest in a Ra’s/Talia light, now?
Because they are 100% based on those two characters?
….Then all of Galasso’s lines are now heard in Liam Neeson’s voice. That is amazing.
Ra’s al Ghul will always be David Warner to me.
And now we can get all the squees of everyone deciding that he calls Ethan “Detective”.
No no. Ethan is “Collector”.
You just won an internet.
Also, Shortpacked will now be “the Toy Store of Shadows” in my mind. NEW HEADCANON.
I haven’t even seen any of those episodes and he already sounds like David Warner to me.
Yakko Warner to me.
I have a particular set of skills…
Skills that I have acquired over a very long career.
Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
My God. The comic is 100% better when read that way.
Genius!
So Robin is Robin?
It’s no secret that Galasso is based on Ra’s Al Ghul. Always trying to find an heir to his legacy, and he seems surprisingly cool about trying to get his daughter laid by one guy whom he wants to be his heir.
I love seeing Conquest stand up for herself, especially because by now we’ve realized she’s much smarter than Galasso…not that that is a very difficult feat. I know certain plants smarter than Gallasso
Dont underestimate Galasso. He does know about the drama tag, and has resurrected at least two people. He’s probably faking his stupidity. Probably.
Indeed. If there’s anything that RPGs have taught us, it’s that Intelligence and Wisdom are two ENTIRELY different stats.
The price of wisdom is above rubies.
The price of wisdom is a low CON.
The term is “Idiot Savant.”
Thank you.
I bet Conquest’s store is called Leviathan.
*Faceplam for Galasso
It sounds like in his strange way, Galasso was in love with Pamela.
Almost sounds sweet.
Oh lordy do I love Galasso.
Now I’m wondering if Conquest really is his daughter, or if Pamela just said she was.
Is it possible Pamela lied about that? Though I’m not sure who Conquest’s father must have been if HE seemed like the better choice.
And yeah, this is sort of touching…in a weird way. Apparently Galasso was a better husband/boyfriend than he was a father.
(…Has anyone tried to convince him that HE’S a woman?)
Connie’s hair always bugs me. I’ve actually met girls who do that. How the hell do they see?
Easy, just no depth perseption.
Agreed, also that particular kind of hairstyle looks like someone put their wig on wrong.
I think she does it so that if anyone tries to fight her in the dark, one eye is already dilated and she can see just fine.
She does it because she born in the dark, while others just adopted it…
WMG: Conquest put her wig on wrong. Underneath she has the same hair as Galasso.
Through the uncovered eye of course.
In her secret identity, she runs a bakery.
While reading this..I just can’t help but feel like the left side of Conquests face is all itchy and uncomfortable…or covered in acne from all the oils out of her hair.
I like to think she looks like Two-Face or Jonah Hex under there.
Does she have like…a Susan B. Anthony coin?
Or she could be like Ge Ge Ge no Kitaro.
Huh. I have learned of a potential neat manga/anime franchise, thanks to your post.
Thank you.
Who was that chick in the Batman: Black and White whose hair covered her face, and under it was a crazy scary eye? And then Batman fell over, and spent like three pages lying on the ground but it was awesome?
That one.
Maximillion Pegasus.
Do we EVER see her left eye? I call cyborg.
I think we saw it in the flashback. Still possible she got a cyborg eye in that time skip, though.
Awww. We finally confront this and Bam! Presumably-dead mom.
I was wondering about that. “Departed” is often a euphemism for dead, but this is Galasso we’re talking about. Maybe she just left.
That was an interesting turn of phrase. The “last thing” she said was “this, Galasso, is your daughter.” How did that sequence of events work out, I wonder.
Pamela: This, Galasso, is your daughter.
Galasso: Daughter? What is a daughter? I requested an heir.
Pamela: *Leaves*
It could work, I guess, but I’m wondering how bad circumstances must have been for her to leave Conquest with HIM.
I’m wondering if he became obsessed with finding an heir after losing his hair. He may have gotten the two slightly confused.
Yeeeep, Galasso sounds like Zapp Brannigan in my head now.
That makes sense…Galasso seems very Sexlexic
He’s an alien. Pure and simple.
Well that answers my question about what was up with Conquest’s expression in the last comic.
Yes but the mood change from her conversation with Amber to looking pissed off yeaterday still seems abrupt. I still think something happened off camera between the two comics. Or she’s REALLY good at creating the fake exterior for dealing with others.
Well now somethings got explained… and others became even more puzzling O.o
Calling it, Galasso is an alien.
Well, there’s at least one Head Alien unaccounted for, and Galasso did know about the drama tag…
Is it wrong that I read Galasso’s line in David Warner’s voice?
So Galasso WAS married… huh…
When I look at Conquest I keep on thinking of Dr. Blight from Captain Planet.
Conquest having a mother does not guarantee that he was married.
And…..why does Con keep on trying?
Surprising as it may seem some people do desire their parent’s approval.
Did Pamela die trying to explain gender and sex to Galasso possibly from a stroke brought on by frustration?
Sounds likely but it would make her last words seem out of place. The only “this is your daughter” would seem to make sense as last words is she died during childbirth.
Or maybe she showed up at the doorstep with a babe-in-arms?
Not sure why he’d miss her then. But it might explain the strange creature comment…
Well, he conceived her, they fell out of contact (because really, would you want to stay in contact with Galasso?) and then at some point she showed up with Connie.
Probably because… I don’t know. Reasons.
Nope, those were her last words. She isn’t dead, she just hasn’t spoken a word since.
Yes she ran away to the convent and took a vow of silence, or maybe she converted to mimism, are mimes allowed to keep their children these days?
I’m going with the idea Pamela was the nurse.
She presented his daughter, he killed her in rage.
Because she was the one who presented the child, he thinks she was the mother.
The true mother was probably waiting in a hospital room for weeks before she said, “Screw this he’s not coming back with my ice chips”.
She then left the hospital and his life.
It’s funny, but it’s also kinda sad. And Conkroo hiding behind her hair isn’t helping either impression. DILEMMA.
Galasso must be some kind of alien. There is no way that a human can be *THAT* stupid and still be a functioning adult with a successful business.
Never underestimate the human potential for stupidity.
Really? How many successful actors belong to Scientology?
There’s a difference between being stupid and gullible. Not a big difference mind you, but it’s still there. And actors have managers. Galasso *IS* the manager.
Huh. Well, there’s a question I didn’t ever expect be answered after all this time.
One nice thing about the Conquest strips is the change in color scheme. A lot more yellows and light purples, which go well with the light green of the store and uniforms.
Should saved this storyline for Easter!
Man, am I the only one that thinks the art has really stepped up this past week or so? The comic is looking much nicer than usual.
She just needs Bane to give her a massage and tell her to give it the ol’ college try. Bane believes in you, sweety!
Oh, Galasso. You’re like a strange combination of Ra’s al Ghul and George of the Jungle.
Huh, is Galasso greying?
I feel sad that I only got the Talia references of Conny after reading last weeks Batman Inc. Hey wait a sec, when did this story arc come out…
WILLIS!
Here’s my theory. Galasso was once a real supervillain whose evil plans threatened the world. Someone stopped him and wiped his mind to prevent it from happening again. That’s why Galasso has his personality and technology but is too brain-dead and helpless to come up with real schemes any more. This happened while Pamela was pregnant, so Galasso forgot all about it, and had to be reminded. Pam either died or left him due to his dramatic changes.
Actually if you recall the old chairman’s dad in the big flashback wallie’s mom had in It’s Walky. The dude who stole the UFO?
He always looked like Galasso to me.
I could totally see Galasso’s backstory being somehow tied up with the British ninjas.
Does Shortpacked have any NOT terrible fathers?
Walky and Joyce don’t count.
Well Okay, Mike’s dad isn’t bad, and I don’t know anything about ethan’s dad. But Amber, Robin, Conquest, Leslie, don’t know about Malaya, but considering how she turned out it can’t be great.
Do any girls have a good relationship with their fathers? Or do they all secretly wish they were boys instead?
Galasso is a supervillain and his power is that he’s immune to all social constructs except the ones he creates (like his retail empire)
That may be even more impressive than being immune to criticism.
Alrigh, I think I figured out why Galasso is so messed up in the head.
If you read enough of this web comic you know that Mike once fought aliens and that he somehow died and came back to life, he has also been enhanced to beyond what is normal for a human being.
These events all took place in a web comic called “Joyce and Walky”
In the webcomic “Joyce and Walky” Joyce has been abducted by aliens, so has Mike, both have been changed by the aliens.
Joyce has also been brain wiped by an alien device making her almost child like.
She has been brain wiped many, many times.
Clearly Galasso met a girl, her name was Pamela, they fell in love, got married and had a very nice night together, during that time, Pamela became pregnant with Conquest.
Then the aliens mind wiped Galasso, many many times.
This is why he has no idea about the diffrence between male and female.
I just noticed this page isn’t tagged with “Pamela”. So sad. Even her blurry photo got tagged.
IT DID?
…
HOLY CRAP WE’VE SEEN CONQUEST’S MOM AND I NEVER NOTICED.
If it makes you feel any better, neither did I.