Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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That’s about right =p
We’re seeing Mike…vulnerable? Whaaaat?
If this (having a baby) didn’t invoke a change, nothing will.
beer?
Besides that!
Mike having a baby would have invoked a much bigger change.
Danny DeVito and Ahnold agree!
Kids will do that to you. Mike will never be the same.
Though an asshole he may be, Human he remains.
Humans are assholes too.
Wait…
There’s no way he’s sober.
No blushed cheeks, he’s sober
Humans have assholes too.
Wait…
He’s….scared??? And he’s not drunk? Wowwww
Wow, Mike had a genuinely real human emotional moment.
Shit! Shit! Human emotions! Quick, Mike, your cover is blown! Crap on something, quickly! I know it’s a Walky kind of thing to do but it’s the only thing you can manage on such short notice!
It’s also an Egbert kind of thing.
While Egbert is the Walky of the group, I don’t think he’s into poop humor…..he’s into pee humor. Don’t drink the apple juice!
Wow this makes me proud to be a homestuck. Otherwise i would have been rather confused.
Don’t underestimate the man.
I’m… Strangely shocked, yet pleased to see that Mike shows something besides scorn and rage.
Does Mike feel rage? I thought it was contempt, scorn and satisfaction (at hurting you).
Remember when he ‘woke up’ from being drunk all the time?
My only reaction: D’awwwwww!
This is a reaction that would probably provoke much violence from Mike.
My reaction was actually “Awwww,” and then tearing up. Because that is so damn unexpectedly sweet.
Is that doubt I sense in Mike? Is that… fear?
It is deliciousssss.
We shall feast upon his delectable frailty, garnished with a delightful sauce of insecurity. The side of worry is optional.
I’d say fear leads to hatred but I think Mike’s already got that covered.
So if Mike’s undergoing the process in reverse, does that mean he’s turning to the Light Side?
Only if you consider him a verbally more abusive version of Jolee Bindo.
I don’t think that is possible.
I think panel 4 is Giddy Robin Meme-able.
D’awwwww. And yeah, childbirth is scary. In health class in 10th grade, my teacher made us watch a video. It was terrifying.
Hairy Avocado … t hat’s alls I’m going to say about that.
The physical aspect of it is not even the half of it.
Everyone gets to have one moment of vulnerability so make it a good one.
I get the feeling Mike will make a good dad.
Yep. I pity her first boyfriend, though.
First boyfriend? I pity any male who gets within 50ft of her once she hits puberty.
Maybe she’ll luck out and be gay. Then Mike can teach her the finer points of seducing moms.
Of course she could just take up the business of fucking dads…
Then Mike and her could become a father-daughter duo force of dad/mom fucking nature in which no life is left stable and happy and all suffer vividly – for a nickle…
That would be at least TWO nickles.
Right now I’m thinking any boyfriend Donna will, for some reason or another, frustrate Mike–either he’ll be oblivious to Mike’s threats, or give as good as he gets, or something.
Right now, I’m thinking that it’s going to be like, at least 13 years before we even get to test any of these “Donna’s boyfriend will” theories.
That is why it is vital to establish our theories now. Thirteen years from now, when the new Shortpacked! is downloaded into our internet brain chips, we can pause in our endless battle against our robot overlords, link back to this comic, and announce “Called it! You all owe me an extra ration of protein paste!”
Did I say “Overlords”? I meant “Protectors”
Whom I for one welcome.
Oh, I think they made us a pie!
hehe cool points for quoting JoCo.
I love my soylent green!
But by then, won’t the strip be well on it’s way to being nothing but an old Ninja Rick vs spiders?
We’ll still read it, though. All the other webcomics will be about how fun it is to obey the robot overlords. Of course, that’s because most of the cartoonists were exterminated for engaging in the illogical act of humor, which Does Not Compute.
They let Willis live, because his obsession with Traansformers is just as good as Robot Overlord Worship when you get right down to it.
Didn’t Joyce and Walky have a brat together?
If you disregard the whole time travel thing, perfect foil for Mike.
It does not even take that long. I’m sure some part of Mike wants to kill the baby’s doctor.
Oh geeze, mike. Right in the feels.
Ow! My feels!
you should see a doctor about that.
Wait…he said “mike” but the Doctor replied. Does that mean Mike is an incarnation of the doctor?
Know how there’s supposed to be that guy between the 12th and 13th Doctors who represents all the Doctor’s evil and hate? I could see that being Mike.
Doctor 12.5?
Welcome To The Future.
Next Week: Faz catches Wen watching The Kimchee Chronicles.
Next week and a half: Faz has sex with Wen during The Kimchee Chronicles.
What are The Kimchee Chronicles?
It’s a program on PBS Create: an Amerasian woman travels to South Korea to learn about the culture and Korean cooking, and then returns Stateside to try out the recipies.
Next week: Both Faz and Wen catch each other masturbating to The Kimchee Chronicles.
Aww! She’s a daddy’s girl already!
This page is just so sweet. Mike’s had the rare moments with Amber that show he has more to him than asshole, and we’re already seeing them with Donna. I really like that – Mike’s human!
Don’t let him hear you say that.
OH……SADNESSSSSS!!!!!!
Why isn’t Mike glaring / looking generally pissed off at the world?! What has fatherhood done to him?!?!
I think it’s like in Hancock. Mike and Donna are draining each other.
In fairness, Head Alien’s only scary when he’s got dirt on you, and Mike seemed very unimpressed by the Martians. So it’s really not saying much.
A good villain can play head games with everyone or could destroy galaxies and kill deities.
It just occurred to me that in the past couple of months we have had stories that humanized Malaya, Faz, AND Mike to some degree.
Next: Galasso reveals that he only turned to the Evil Overlord Toy Store Owner thing after his career as a poet didn’t work out, and Ninja Rick tells the tale of how the only woman he ever loved left him for a pirate.
We actually already got some pathos from Galasso, when the store was destroyed.
“I only had enough money for two employees, but that was enough. Then the Cabbage Patch Doll craze hit. I had to extend the store’s hours. Hired a full staff. Toys had a tighter grasp on the masses those days. And so did I. And now look at this place. It lies in shambles and neglect.”
Call me crazy, but I actually welled up a little the first time I read that.
Galasso’s story arc would be better if it were of flashback of his relationship with what sort of woman that could bear him a child and still manage to leave him in the dark about the finer points of sex
My guess? Galasso was drugged and the mother left Conquest in a basket with a note on it. That’s the only way I can explain how Galasso can have a daughter and still have no idea about sex. Well, adoption works too, I guess.
Didn’t he specifically say that she wasn’t adopted (or, like, grown in a tube) during Leslie and Ethan’s intervention?
NOPE!
CHUCK TESTA! i’m…i’m sorry
C’mon, Mike, you’re going to blow your rep! Punch one of those other babies!
Their mom’s are still probably at the hospital! Grab your nickels fast!
Dude, even evil have its standards.
Well, yeah, Mike, you can fight aliens with violence, you can’t raise a daughter using violence. Violence can be involved to varying degrees but you can’t raise someone with it.
Not unless you want Social Services called, anyway.
“I was just feeding her with my fist. the meal was also my fist.”
I don’t think Amber would take kindly to Mike raising Donna with violence.
Exactly. Fighting aliens is actually a pretty simple process, all things considered, and it plays to Mike’s strengths as well. Raising children is complicated and involves areas where Mike’s not so great.
Like emotions.
When my son was born I wouldn’t let him out of my sight. Litterally. Like I was afraid the nurses were gonna switch him or something. (And he was about twice the size of the other babies there so…) This went on for our first 12 hours in the hospital till I literally passes out from exhaustion and my wife took the oportunity to send the kid to the nursery. Having a baby can be scarry and throw you way off your game. It’s totally awesome though.
Where is the “Like” button?
ditto
youtube
youtube
Wait… you mean that room you always see in US shows, that is depicted here, really exists in the US? With the window and all the babies together away from their mother? Not just as an old fashioned thing people just assume is in hospitals because they see it on TV and in movies? That’s nuts. Grade A nuts. You were right to want to keep your son where you could see him. When my wife had our daughter she slept in the room with my wife. How else are they going to feed them when they need feeding, they’re a new-born, they need to bond, not be bundled off with a whole lot of other babies to get them out of the way. That would never happen here. No wonder you hear about babies getting stolen and swapped over there.
Actually, bonding to the mother doesn’t actually start until about 6 months (if I remember the number correctly). Before that, taking the baby away from its mother invokes no emotion, so it could technically be raised by anyone at that point. Also, firstborns need to be checked, treated for birth complications, and kept in a warm, climate controlled environment – hence why they take them to this room: babies all in one room are easier to keep track of.
Despite the lack of bonding mentioned above, though, newborns recognize their mother’s voice (because they heard it for nine months already) and react to it. There have been studied involving reading Green Eggs and Ham before and after birth, with surprising results as to newborn’s memory.
Holy Crap, Mike is facing directly forward, not 3D or Side profile but forward.
At first, I thought he wanted to tell the baby “I fucked your mom.”
You win the comments.
Same here, but then he had to go and make it a tender moment.
He already told her that. Granted, she was a smallish clump of cells at that point.
Amber cute + Mike evil … the world is not ready.
D’awwwwwww! See, the thought of being almost entirely responsible for another human being’s life scaring the hell outta you? That’s the sign of a good parent right there. Mike and Amber are gonna be fantastic parents.
This makes me realize that I’d love to see the It’s Walky! cast reacting to the news that Mike’s a father.
“Mike invited us to come visit. Could be fun, I’m curious to see his kid.”
“…Mike has a kid?”
“Yeah. I told you, like, thirty times.”
“I THOUGHT YOU WERE JOKING!”
Cue Sal smashing through the window: “Ah’ll save ya, Donna!”
I’d genuinely look forward to Jason’s reaction. He’s probably the closest Mike ever had to a “friend”.
Mike only drinks with people he likes, and he drank with Jason; therefore, he liked Jason.
This is the part where Donna the baby smiles, looks up, and says “We both know that I’m gonna kill you Mike…nah, I’m just fuckin’ with ya. “
That comment made me wonder about something, is Donna going to have some of Mike’s superpowers?
Willis has mentioned that it’s a 50-50 chance that she has superpowers.
So I’m guessing it’s going to depend on whether or not he can weave it into the story.
This scenario just jumped into my head for when the baby starts talking.
Mike is walking past Donna’s room
DONNA: I!
Mike is interested and comes closer
DONNA: I fu…fu…fucked…
Mike’s eyebrows go up
DONNA: Ur…
MIKE: Amber, come here, the kid’s talking!
Amber rushes over.
DONNA: Mom.
AMBER: Aw, it’s first word! Mom!
MIKE: Um…yeah. Sure.
These aren’t tears, I promise…I’m j–just allergic to feels.
Awww!
why is no one stating the obvious? he’s drunk!
also, what’s the continuity problem there? i dont see it
He’s not drunk! He’s blushsticker-less!
Honestly, if he was drunk, he’d've said something schmoopier by now.
I think he’s apologizing for putting a past reference to It’s Walky! in a Shortpacked comic.
Yeah, pretty sure that’s the case…even though, for true fans, continuity is awesomesauce and is not to be apologized for.
He is not drunk, he is just playing a long game, a really, really long game.
With the audience.
My emotions can’t handle it. This is all really wonderfully done. Thank you, Willis, so much.
Dear Mr Willis,
The brief glint of this side of Sober Mike made my internal organs severely daww and now I severely need hospitalization.
Thank you.
Man what a call back to the ye olden times of fighting Martians lol
Don’t be sorry about the continuity. Dumbing of Age took me to your Roomies! and It’s Walky! archives, and the archives brought me here. I know it’s your show and all, but I really like the links back to the old comics. Wish there were more, but like I said, it’s your show and I’m here enjoying the ride.
Going on 15 years of continuity, I think that’s pretty damn good. Keep up the good work.
aw, Miiiiiiiiike.
To add to the redundant number of comments that will express this:
Awww!!
But yeah, I’m with everyone else. I’m looking forward to the rest of Donna’s life.
Dawww…
at first it *is* scary… then you get to see the crazy little shit jump six feet off the top of the TV stand into a basket of hard plastic toys and realize: she’s just about indestructable and relax a bit…
Donna might actually live up to that thought, if she’s inherited her father’s durability power.
I mean, he had his face punched by a guy who can knock holes into solid reinforced concrete. And all he ended up with was some blood from his mouth, don’t recall a shiner anyway.
mike will have to find a way to work those two things in together then.
DAMN YOU WILLIS i will not be tricked into an archive binge tonite, i must sleep!
Awwwwwwww! All the feels!
‘Awww’ good for you Mike. That is a moment and a half.
Rest of the world, alert. Mike’s a father, that could present everyone else with a bit more of a problem than he presented previously.
Curses, a link trap to things I’ve already read…
Damn you Willis!
Mike’s thoughts: “Don’tFuckThisUpMikeDon’tFuckThisUpMike…”
Oh my gosh, Mike as a human being.
I can see it now–Donna will be the only living thing he doesn’t constantly treat with rage and sarcasm.
Imagine Mike old and grey on a porch and a lawn (which he looked for with a house for with the sole purpose of setting up social traps for people) his frown softening a little as he sees his little girl (because parents never seem to stop thinking of us as their children) popping out of the car that just came up their driveway. He hands her a can of soda as he opens his own. She plops down in another chair, sighs heavily, and they comment on everyone who walks past until all the guests have arrived. Then they go inside and take their seats at the long table with the rest of the people.
I didn’t specify Amber’s location because I didn’t really know where to put her – technology is already pretty portable. I do figure that Mike wouldn’t want to miss the chance of un-interrupted comment time when welcoming guests, though I don’t know if he would have enough time to catch them at the points when he can deal verbal finishing moves like he usually does. I could say fodder for later, but I’m really just fantasizing here =/
Why is this a continuity slip again?
yeah I’ve read everything to this point and I didn’t catch it either.
It’s not a problem of a continuity slip, he just apologized for putting a refrence to It’s Walky! in Shortpacked!, that supposed to mostly stand on it’s own
He’s referenced/done crossover before… Willis, is your senility kicking in?
Aaaaaaaaaaw, mike has a tiny little inkling of a soul
And he’s not drunk
How can you tell?
You can tell by looking at his face.
FAAAAAAAAAACE
Wait wrong comic.
Now bring on the crazed fanbase who complains about the “derailment of Mike”…
Anyone? Nobody?
So is it really that sweet?
Yeah – yeah it is…
I have a daughter. I agree with Mike.
I have two. Bring on the aliens.
The Cheese stirs.
Mike has shown fear.
Nawww!
After years of reading your comic (since about the time Joyce and Walky were rooming together and trying to stay pure), this is the first time Mike has brought a large smile to my face for showing his genuine emotions (that don’t involve his asshole side.) Very well done, Mr. Willis.
MY FEELS.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww!
*tries to formulate more verbose assessment of situation*
…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwww!
Wow, didn’t realize the alien ninja turtle thing had a meaning!!
I echo the sentiment of so many others: D’aaaaaaaaaaw.
Kids will do that to you. I’m happy to say that Mike is finally showing some hope.
I know the first thing I thought when I saw my first kid was “oh, shit.” Those little bologna loaves will change you, big-time.
For once I believe Mike and I are on the same wavelength
@David Willis
I’m at a loss to this continuity slip, and I don’t think I’m the only one.
He was apologizing for INCLUDING an It’s Walky! refrence in the middle of Shortpacked!
Oh, well I suppose fully up-to-date Shortpacked! readers already saw a far larger breach – thus, confused.
I think that bridge was crossed with the giant sticky bun fight. Even those of us who haven’t read It’s Walky! yet know it was about fighting aliens. Why is the link to that It’s Walky! comic in particular, though?
during the New York story arc it was never specifically said that he fought aliens. Amber made a comment about aliens invading New York, and it was mentioned he was in “The War” – but it was never directly linked.
As much as the none-Walky Shortpacked! readers knew then, he was part of an elite, anti-bakery fighting squad .
@TARDIS With A Hat
“As much as the non-Walky Shortpacked! readers knew then, he was part of an elite, anti-bakery fighting squad.”
This. So very much this.
Because it’s the first one with Mike in it and mentions aliens, presumably.
Well, Mike first appread here – http://www.itswalky.com/d/19990416.html
and this one also mention aliens, but maybe Willis wanted to link to somthing wih more reconizable artwork.
I want to see Sal hop in through Amber’s hospital room window to see the MikeSpawn!
Prediction: Donna has memorized this moment, and will develop her ability to understand speech specifically so she can find out what Mike said and how to use it against him.
Aawwwwwwww…
Not sure if Crowning moment of heartwarming or TearJerker.
As the father of a 10 month old girl, Mike – from your lips to god’s ears.
WOW. An actual emotion from Mike. AWESOME!
Mike’s being sensitive?! HOLYCRAPWHATTHEHELLWILLISYOU’VERUINEDMIKEFOREVER!!!!!!!!!!
… or, in slightly less fanboyish terms: Mike is showing a little bit of humanity and fear, which makes him look less like a 24/7 asshole. I like it… just as long as he gets to fire off an “I totally boned your mom” comment at some point
He told her already, Willis isn’t going to reuse the same joke again
Maybein a few years when she can respond with a bored “I know.” I’m guessing when she’s 3 or so.
“I fucked your mom!”
“I know, dad, so did Uncle Ethan.”
“I also fucked Uncle Ethan.”
That would be the greatest thing.
Happy father’s day, Mike!
Just curious…why ARE you sorry about continuity? I’ve read Roomies! and It’s Walky! but I don’t see how the comic has messed up continuity right now.
Unless you’re referring to the callback to IW! itself. If so, I get it.
Yeah, he’s sorry to those people who have not necessarily read those earlier comics.
I can’t help but think back to Joyce’s “Our Children” speech. I guess there’s one more for the child arsenal of planet savers.
This whole arc makes me squeal with joy! i am so loving Mike here XD
all I can say is D’AWWWWW
Just one observation. Hospitals don’t really use the viewing rooms anymore. The baby will rarely leave the mother’s room.
Makes sense as they don’t want to risk getting sued for swapped babies anymore.
I’m not so sure about that, in all 4 of the births of my kids, there was a nursery with a viewing window (albeit, usually shut) that the babies were taken to when the mother needed a break. They prevent swapped babies and babynapping with unremovable tags that set off every alarm in the building if you try to remove them or take the baby through any door.
That sounds like a very effective system.
You should be able to buy one in case your son or daughter tries to leave house late at night without permission.
You really gotta wonder how Mike is going to be as a father. I mean, we’ve always known him for being a manipulative, evil, and at times even hateful person towards everyone he knows, like Amber herself. How is he going to behave towards his daughter as she grows up? And god help the man or woman, that Donna brings home in the future.
And … finally caught up the archives! Woot!
Nice comic, think I’ll stick around. And yes … already read Walky and DoA (was actually reading DoA and SP same time but DoA had less to catch up, heh) so no worries about teaching the n00b about the backstories.
It’s a habit of mine … I find an interesting book then discover it’s actually volume 4 or 5 of a series … I put it down and go get the others to read, first. I hate reading a book and feeling left out of the inside jokes.
Yeah this made me reread it’s walky yesterday. If anything you should be proud of your continuity.
Ahh! shit! i just finished catching up after an EIGHT MONTH ABSENCE. I was so into this I completely didn’t see the end coming. just a smig freaked out
It’s been my long-held belief that Mike’s super power is that he is the personification of the Internet. It’s why he’s an ass, why he knows everything anyone’s ever posted on the net, and why it’s impossible to keep him down (after all, who ever wins a fight on the internet?).
Maybe, just maybe he tapped into that dark corner of the internet where people are sincere.
Mike is always honest, it’s just that until now ,all of his honesty was brutal.
Awwww! Poor Mike. Being a parent is a rather scary idea indeed.
I hope that Donna goes to college and makes something of herself.
I’m surprised you apologized for the continuity even though there was the comic when Mike took Amber to visit his parents and told her he was a war hero, and a casualty…wait, reviewing it, she said it, lol. and no apology then http://www.shortpacked.com/2009/comic/book-10/01-this-man-this-manhattan/posthumous/
just plain looking at it: AAAAAAAAAW<3
over-analyzing it: wait- is he having second thoughts?! 8(
*slap myself across the face and goes back to AAAAAAW<3)
but yeah, babies are like the scaries thing ever :/
and this is adorable!
Not at all. It’s just that the reality has sunk in, that he’s now personally responsible for another human being, and when you hit that point, you realize that everything in your life before then was easier.
Even aliens.
I adore continuity, especially when it involves comics I sat up reading the archives for two nights in a row. YAY.
Mike can feel fear?
I… er… don’t get it?
Is it a subtle hint that he, Dina, and a couple guys who aren’t massively important (yet?) in this continuity are going to fall down unconscious in four strips’ time?
I’m sorry, but Dina only exists in the DoA universe now. She was a casualty at SEMME in It’s Walky.
Or is the link not working right at my end? Cuz I end up at a comic regarding new year’s eve where Mike is being all sexist for the sake of trolling. Rather than being vulnerable or that. Unless the falling-down-unconscious due to head alien interference bit is the vulnerability?
The new years eve is the first page of the alien attack story. Read on for about 10 pages and you’ll understand Mike’s reference to fighting aliens.
…tahrey, you are definitely looking at the wrong comic.
http://www.shortpacked.com/2012/comic/book-14/03-totally-babies/rest/
I’m I the only one who sees a Dr Who reference?
Yes, Mike, that is how it is. Responsibility is scary. But only to those who have it. Irresponsible people fear it not. On the other hand, only responsible people ever experience the joys which come from being in their positions. The scariness never leaves, though.
*SNIFF* I FUCKING LOVE YOU MIKE! You act all mean- BUT YOU GOOD BABY YOU GOOD!