Just a note: No spoilers in the comments below, please.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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That was fast o_O
Also, shoulder freckles =9
He is a natural redhead, that’s part of the deal, that and prone to getting sunburnt.
Heh, shoulder freckles are adorable.
As someone who has them, NO. SHOULDER FRECKLES ARE UGLY AND SHOULDN’T EXIST.
I have arm freckles, shoulder freckles and a ton on my face whenever the sun comes out… DAMN MY SKIN
As someone whose husband has them, SHOULDER FRECKLES ARE FUCKING SEXY AS HELL. I love my sweetie’s freckles, and I think his shoulder and back freckles are especially sexy. He’s patterned. Me likey.
Where have you people been all my life? I had a girlfriend once who dumped me because freckles grossed her out.
That’s ridiculous. Did she not know you had freckles when you started dating?
As someone COMPLETELY COVERED IN FRECKLES I must say that all my freckles are amazing! UwU
When did Ethan gain Robin’s super speed?
If he really had her superspeed he could show his appreciation and they’d still get to use the tickets.
I don’t think anyone wants superspeed in bed…think of the friction.
Friction is generally the point!
There is frictiona and then there is FRICTION… ouch!
Friction is one thing. Genital burns are another.
Don’t mind me, I’m watching you two from the closet, wishing to be the friction in your jeans…
…Ugh… Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “a fire in your pants”
or to the phrase “liar liar[...]“
Or “burned up on re-entry”
This makes me wonder if Ethan is in fact an abductee and never knew about it during the war.
Obviously, his superpower is to induce nudity.
Ethan has the Nudity beam to counter Piccolo’s Clothes beam.
Hopefully he’ll use his powers for evil and not good.
The trouble with using such for evil is that it would mean he would eventually use them on Rush Limbaugh. Now that you’ve had to reach for the brain bleach, my job is done!
(seriously – there’s a reason such powers must be used for good. =P)
Easily his least metro attack.
It doesn’t come up very often because it runs on Batman and Transformer related gratitude and only affects hot guys.
Power Word: Disrobe!
Funny, I thought I was the one who had a protagonist that regularly induced nudity.
I he wha HOW?
Is Manny intrigued or scared in that last panel? Looks like a bit of both.
I think he’s just impressed.
Looks like somethings rising, and it’s not the Dark Knight.
*is imagining Ethan wearing a Batman condom so he can play in Manny’s ‘Batcave’*
Also, erection happening to the theme of the animated series.
Goddamit, Im an hetero male, shoo batman-dick jokes.
Straight dudes get erections too, or else I’m doing something wrong…
Boy. That escalated quickly.
Your Gravatar made that comment better.
Ethan has pepperoni nipples.
Huh, Ethan’s a lot hairier than I would have expected.
I agree but it seems that the older he gets the more chest hair he grows.
Wow, I wish people would be that thankful when I do really nice stuff for them. I mean, I’m not gay or even all that intrested in sex, but the gesture would be nice.
It does show a level of appreciation that one doesn’t normally get in real life.
I’m not gay either but, you know, I’d appreciate the compliment and all
Considering Ethan’s last relationship with Drew, it’s cool to see him with someone who embraces his quirks
My thoughts exactly.
That is exactly what I would do if someone did this for me.
Butt for 36 hours? That’s a bit much, dontcha think?
I bet they definitely want to butt for 36 hours.
I think if your aiming for 36 hours, you need to mix up the playbook a bit more.
Yeeeouch… Manny’s going to have one sore hole in two days. (Or the Manny-hole, if you will)
He made Ethan’s day, so Ethan is going to make his hole weak?
Sounds like a good trade off to me, but we’ll need to check the poles for that one.
*looks to a pair of Polish judges, who nod*
Carry on, then.
Awwwwww!
So, either Ethan has powers or it’s anouther example of why nobody could tell Robin had actual super powers from just reading the comic.
That’s kind of adorable.
Perfect comic.
There is a nipple tag. And clicking on it gives you 45 results. That’s, ummm, wow.
And each nipple has their own name, I bet you didn’t know that.
This comic happens to feature John Peterson and Quincy J. Nipple, known in many famous one shot nipple flashes.
I noticed as well.
He’s thorough, our Willis.
Now if only the last panel hadn’t been cut short like that …
Ethan is channeling some Robin, aint he
Manny has the bluest house I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
You need to archive binge through Questionable Content.
Welp, there goes any hope of me being productive today…
I don’t like Manny. He hasn’t done anything bad, i just miss Drew. I’ve turned into an irrational shipper…. dammit.
If you’re not careful, soon you’ll find yourself posting “fixed” Shortpacked! strips with the names swapped around to be “romantically correct”.
Kudos, Ethan. Kudos.
Oh god I’m getting flashbacks to Leslie/Robin during their happier days with these two! Their happiness is making me sad!
I was thinking the same thing. Only, I’m not sad about it.
I’m so happy to see happy people being happy again.
I do wish Leslie WOULD get back with Robin, but I see how Leslie has grown as a person, and shouldn’t be tied to Robin… blerg. But they’re so cute
Ethan think before you act. Batman first then 36 hours of appreciation. Use your recently found super speed to get those clothes back on.
I LOVE a harry chest.
Nothing against hairless dudes, but it’s a hair is a nice bonus.
This yaoi fanboy is pleased.
The yaoi fanboy is also pleased.
Well, that’s three of us.
i love you master Willis…
I think maybe this is Willis’ apology for his QC guest strip
WTG Ethan. But yeah, put your clothes on, go out. Come back, commence the 36 hours. Best of both worlds.
I love how Ethan just quietly went out and found a new partner behind his friends’ backs. Wish I had that kind of gumption!
…Are you required to get your friends’ prior permission to date?
Well, I suppose if you can’t be a Transformers ninja like Ken, being a sex ninja is a reasonable consolation prize.
Oh my…
GO GET ‘IM, ETHAN.
Oh man, there’s a nipple tag.
Wait. Why do none of the comics tagged as “nipple” involve Faz? This is a serious tagging oversight.
Wait, no. Never mind. There were multiple pages of results. Holy crap why are there so many comics with nipples
Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
Some questions have answers man was not meant to know.
Someday we’ll find it, the nipple connection…
There really aren’t that many songs about rainbows, actually. No disrespect intended to Jim Henson or anything, but songs about rainbows aren’t actually that common.
Well that’s just because music has devolved into nothing but pretty girls wearing skin-tight clothes, and singin’ songs about their vujayjays. Used to be chicks sang about rainbows; now it’s all “my vujayjay this, my vujayjay that.” But clearly that’s what sells.
Think about it. When was the last time you turned on some music and didn’t hear some chick strumming a guitar singing about her vujayjay?
See? You can’t remember.
Every day. But then the people in the songs I listen to seem more interested in wars, fantasy creatures, demons, hell, blood and such than in vaginas. (Although, admittedly, there’s Genitorturers).
Stop listening to folk music and/or pop.
Problem solved!
Manny didn’t even let go of the box. There must have been scissors involved.
How bout a promissory quickie, THEN dark knight, then come back home in the appropriate mood and restart the clock?
A couple of things….
1. What is stoping them from doing both in this internet/blueray age?
2. I heard that one should consult their doctor after 36 hours.
As far as I’m aware you still can’t Interblunetray an actual cinema
Won’t know ’till you try! Granted multitasking can be difficult in those seats.
substitute brucius and replace it with sinestro corps scarecrow, my boyfriend and i are living this dream…and seeing batman
How can we be this far down the thread and no-one has gravatar’d Ethan from frame 2?
(I… I don’t know how… ):
Attempting … but apparently I have to wait for an email. And I do kind of like being Flash. And Ethan is actually far too narrow in that pic to even come close to filling the frame…
So adorable!
I doubt you have the stamina, Ethan. :3
He is a master of gay tantric sex, 36 hours is just warming up.
Oh? I must have missed this. Where was that first established?
I didn’t know Ethan had superpowers.
SPOILER
He means sex.
/SPOILER
I just signed in to say that I’m OUTRAGED that this wasn’t another comic about sexism!
It only counts if you speak for most or all of his readers.
I’m with you because it’s blatant misandry, look, men naked and they’re not outrageously proportioned! Everyone knows male characters need to have wrists thicker then their necks!
Wow… I could not type that with a straight face, pun intended.
And don’t forget the goils have to be a perfect 36……
12-12-12
Now go eat yer spinach.
Well, obviously, sexism is over forever now that Willis has naked dudes in his comic. They balance out everything ever.
Well, I like many readers, am outraged by your outrage and call for others to extensively post with me about it.
Though I do think it’s pretty funny that, after people complaining that they “read Shortpacked for toy jokes, Batman jokes, and storylines”, we get a comic containing all three. Plus gayness, which surprisingly isn’t on the wish list for these sexists.
36 hours???
What do you plan to do for the other 35 hours and 45 minutes?
Activating Powerlinx Mode gives him unearthly stamina.
BURNING JUSTICE BONERS!
I think I speak for most of the readership when I say that the words “burning” and “boners” should not be in the same sentence.
I would clap slowly but I’m laughing too hard.
So, he can’t have sex with him AFTER the movies? and he can be bought off with a toy the cat’s just going to eat anyway?
The full trilogy is probably around 8 hours. And sexytime is right now.
Having seen it, that’s about right.
He could have sex with him during the movie but.
…
Yeah, I can’t even summon the energy for a variation on the Peewee Herman vs. Abraham Lincoln joke. I’m sorry.
Wait, why did I hit ‘post’?
Now Ethan will show Manny the meaning of Metamorphin’ Dudicus.
He’s a big back-battering dudicus!
Actually, I’m just wearing your glasses.
That was the most adorable sexy boy on boy thing I’ve seen in a while… and I follow your wife’s tumblr!
I am ashamed of Ethan. Having sex instead of going to the Batman premiere. What kind of Batman fan is he?
The incredibly appreciative kind.
But he’s not taking advantage of the gift that he is showing appreciation for. All I’m faulting is his order of events.
The non-virgin kind of fan.
“I’m on a horse.”
Am I the only one who interpreted this strip as a dream?
Probably, yes. Ethan’s dreams aren’t usually so subtle.
This is one of my favorite ones in a while. Not that the others aren’t good, but I find this one particularly hilarious.
Hold your horses, Ethan! First Batman, then sexytimes!
Sexytimes, then Batman, them more sexytimes.
And if you’re a true comic book fan, showering in between the first two is optional.
Showering is never optional between sexytimes and going out in public, especially if there’s any butt-stuff. :6
Other moviegoers will thank you.
A true comic book fan announces his presence by the olfactory, not the auditory! Hygiene only shows your lack of dedication.
Giving my wife and me another reason to wait a couple weeks before we see any of the big superhero movies.
Well I see that C.H.A.O.S. has dropped the Nude Bomb again. Nice job C.O.N.T.R.O.L.
Holy cats! Someone besides me actually remembers “The Nude Bomb”?
Although, I don’t think St. Sauvage was actually a KAOS agent, was he? It’s been so bloody long since I’ve seen it.
Sometimes I get terrified when I see characters this happy in comics because I feel like it is setting them up for something.
… I would be very very happy, but somebody showed me the thing that happened in Colorado, and the movie is kinda ruined to me, knowing what happened to other people cause of it. Q _ Q
I think it’s going too far to say that the massacre happened because of a movie hardly anyone, least of all the shooter, had even seen. We have no idea what motivated this nut job.
Don’t hand this guy power over your life. He doesn’t deserve it.
P.S. He calls himself “the Joker” and dies his hair orange? Has he even seen “The Dark Knight?” Heath Ledger doesn’t even die his hair green, much less orange. This guy fails at being a crazy fanboy.
I don’t know why, but I have a bad feeling about Manny…
Seriously, Ethan, the trilogy would make a good halftime…
Dude, “not a prostitute guy” is already about a million times cooler than Drew. That’s just awesome.
spoiler alert batman was actually bruce wayne the whole time
Aw dude! why would you go and spoil that?!
Just finished reading this comic from the start. I’ve been reading Dumbing of Age for about a year, finally decided to check this out. I’m glad I did. Great comic Willis! Gonna take a break then start reading your previous comics (I have gotten nothing done and very little sleep this past week cuz I just Couldn’t. Stop. Reading!)
Welcome back from your archive binge!
Am I the only one who noticed that Bruticus’ “weapon” is *ahem* appropriately shaped and positioned?
Nothing’s a bigger turn-on than geek enabling. NOTHING.
I was about to make a very “too soon” crack, but restraint gets the better part of me today.
But wow, I love equal opportunity fanservice, and I’m not even the target demographic for this one.
DESHI DESHI BASARA BASARA!!
I’m slightly shamed that I bought a Derpy off of eBay. The seller was only selling the one so I’m hoping it wasn’t one of those people who bought the max amount each time to turn over.
even so if someone else got me one like this I would have given them at LEAST 24 hours appreciation makeouts and lovin’s
…why can’t I have a boyfriend who can undress me instantly?!???
Once again, Ethan and I think exactly the same.