My wife saw this strip, and she was all “EEEEEEEEAUUGH, that is the WORST THING I have EVER SEEN, OH MY GOD.” Seriously, I heard her from downstairs.
Thirty seconds later: “Though if you sold one we could make a lot of money…”
(No.)
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
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Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
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The Book of Biff
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Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
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Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
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Overcompensating
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Um.
Eew, Robin.
Unless you mean the lighter, though that’s still a bad idea.
I know she once had a thing for Amber, but I think Robin might be referring to a custom Leslie body pillow.
or a custom Robin body pillow…who wouldn’t wanna snuggle themselves?
Why would she need to? She’s only ever a slave Leia costume away from the real thing. As was demonstrated previously.
But without a lighter, you can’t be burning down the house!
matches.
flint and steel.
flamethrower.
small incendiary explosives.
two sticks and a lot of free time.
Oh, okay. Without a lighter, I can’t be burning down the house. I don’t know how dexterous Robin could be with these things, or any of you, so I apologize for my generalizing.
I also apologize for never, ever going to let wererat2000 stay at my house. Sorry, mate, you just know too much about starting fires.
By this same standard, you’ve just banned every Boy Scout ever from staying at your house.
You make me sad.
While this wasn’t what I intended, I’m pretty sure it’s in their best interest to keep Boy Scouts from staying at my place for too long. I might have a… little thing for youths in uniform that might get me in a little bit of trouble when I’m given too much of an opportunity.
I don’t mean any disrespect by this, I’m just saying, if there happen to be any handsome Boy Scouts out there who value their health and other things they want to remain intact for a little longer, have them stay somewhere else.
I hope you’re less sad now that I cleared that up. Happy Easter by the way.
So… you like sexin’ kids? You should probably seek help for that.
If this was a joke it flew right over my head…
She just wants a “f-klik” sound of her very own!
I’m seriously suprised that incest even made a difference to Faz.
Same. Wow. He has standards?
He has kind of a God complex, so maybe he can’t accept inbred godlings?
2 Words: Greek Gods
A few more: Judeo-Christian. Lot and all that rot
“Lot and all that rot” would be a great name for an old testament satire webcomic.
Or a band
Or a .tumblr.com.
Hell, what about Jesus, the original motherfucker.
Huh? That was a different Mary he was fucking.
Not really any existing story that suggests he fucked anyone except maybe the DaVinci code.
JT, he hung out with tons of whores. Like. TONS of them.
You know he was having them “eat of his flesh” and “drink of his blood”.
(I mean he was having sex with them)
Catholics believe Jesus is simply god in human form, as well as his son, meaning that he impregnated her with himself.
IE, fucked his mom to birth himself.
but i’m supprised nobody’s bringing up Adam & Eve.
(and Noah and his close family now that i think of it.)
Not to mention Cain and Abel, just who did they have kids with?
I’m not religous, but I’m pretty sure that God did not have sex with with Mary. He just let her get pregnant with his godpowers. Because, you know, the whole VIRGIN thing was kind of important to the story. Besides, the impregnating of married mortal women was more Zeus’s thing.
And, even if I am wrong, would that really be considered incest? God would’ve had sex with a woman of no blood relation and then became her child afterwards. Theres’ no real mother-fucking anywhere.
That’s probably why he can’t accept it. The Greek Gods killed their parents.
Why would Greek Gods matter to him? He’s a Korean-American.
I suspect Faz is about to get serious. Buddha help us all.
When was it shown that he doesn’t have standards? He’s obsessed with Amber sure, but he’s pretty dedicated. He wouldn’t even sleep with Conquest (though there were other reasons there)
Finally, something that Faz finds a TURNOFF!
I… I wish I could refrain from imagining why he has an Amber love pillow.
Savor the image! Drink it in! Someday you may face something truly horrible, and then you’ll think “Yay! Wolverines may be gnawing on my intestines, but at least now I’m distracted from thinking about Faz and an Amber Body Pillow!”
Any why would have have it stashed at work, not in his apartment?
… Do we actually know where Faz lives? I don’t recall ever seeing him outside the toy store, except maybe one time when he was just Galasso’s servant.
don’t worry. he’s going to incinerate the one he keeps at home too.
all four of them…
Or why he keeps it at work.
Maybe it’s not the incest that’s getting him — maybe it’s the fact that his “soulmate” knew the identity of his father, who he’d been longing to meet all his life, and never told him until after the man died.
My guess is he’s burning it in effigy.
Hm, I didn’t think of that.
I willing to bet that too…
I could see the effigy thing being not far off base. Faz, for all his creepy, backstabbing unpleasantness, seemed to want to believe high things about his unknown father. Probably one of his happier hopes in his deluded, obsessive life. Amber said she told him *everything*. Sounds like that would include telling him that his father was effectively the scum of the Earth.
So, on top of the half-sister link and the denied chance to meet his longed-for father, he’s now had the ideal of his Awesome Dad shattered.
I honestly like Faz (more in his early strips before being Flanderized a bit) as an unsettling but otherwise silly antagonist. I’m curious to see how this plays out.
As for the comic itself, I got both a squick and a laugh out of it. d(‘.’ )
Well put, Gamma.
What if it’s both?
Wow, Faz is repulsed by incest? I thought he would find it a turn-on.
It’s not the incest, it’s the deception
Faz is taking it surprisingly well.
Story arc isn’t over yet. Give him time.
Love can turn to Hate after all.
…and Hate leads to the Dark Side.
And The Dark Side leads to fame and adulation and eventually Eddie fakes his death and grows a moustache in the sequel.
And growing facial hair leads to the show getting better.
and bettering the show leads to more annoying fans.
Also Force Lightning, who wouldn’t want to shoot lightning from their fingers?
Mermaids
One word: Kismesisitude.
…
I ship it
I dunno. he hasn’t used any sort of docmented illustration…he may be in a pretty bad mood
“This chart indicates Faz’s boner. Note that the is pointing down.”
Arrow, I mean.
I thought the missing word was boner
Oh wow, Faz actually having a relatable human emotion. Imagine that.
Yeah. Buyer’s Remorse. That thing probably set him back a pretty penny.
That’s not a creepy enough assumption. I like to think he hand knit that and photoshopped the image himself painstakingly over days
Women love a handy-man.
I’m trying…!
It’s a pillow!
It’s a pet!
It’s a Pillow Pet!
Haha, I came back to show my bf Faz’s fuckpillow and just read the commentary for the comic XD
WOW.
As creepy as it sounds, I kind of want one.
One? I want two!
I WANT’EM ALL!…..err….I want one too. Ignore the all caps statement.
When you think about it you’ve missed a kickass opportunity to April Fool us by “selling” those body pillows.
I want an Ethan one and a Mike one.
I second this.
You guys. Faz isn’t grinning. For once the smug grin is gone.
This is like the inverse of that one strip where Mike finally smiled and it was the scariest thing ever.
No, it’s still scary. Scary because I feel a little bad for him right now, but still scary.
Yeah, not-smiling Faz is oddly human.
I know! That totally freaked me out, I almost didn’t recognize the little bugger.
Oh no! A sad face! The saddest face!
Thank God he dropped the whole Amber thing, it was getting a little too “Empire Strikes Back” in here.
I do feel bad for whoever he stalks next though.
Assuming he doesn’t just move on to saving the galaxy… ah who are we kidding. Five bucks says he meets and starts targeting Dorothy.
So will Malaya be his next target and will it turn out that she is also related to him by blood.
or the fact that she will beat him up more frequently than Amber or Mike combined.
Considering Malaya can go toe to wheel with Ultra-Car, he will experience a great deal of PAIN, not to mention having Ninja Rick as a rival.
I’m sure Faz has a chart somewhere that would show his survival rate in such a situation but I imagine it is covered in doodles of genitalia
I can totally see that being the case.
“Doodles of genetalia” is a disturbing double-entendré in this instance.
oodles of doodles!
We could refer to them as doodles of noodles.
Oodles and oodles of doodles of noodles!
(Oh my.)
A pool full of noodles!
I’d like to see this love triangle. Remember, Ninja Rick has a thing for both Malaya AND Faz.
OT3?
He HAD a thing WITH Faz. Haven’t seen any evidence since then that he’s been carrying the torch for him or anything.
Though maybe if Faz starts getting all mopey, he’ll start to see him as bishonen (only a loose understanding of what that means, but it sounds like something Rick would convince he’s in love with).
Robin had an arrow for them on her blackboard. The Drama Dodecahedron does not lie!
Only problem is, Faz doesn’t qualify to be a Bishie, not even by the most lax and kindest of standards.
He isn’t tall, he isn’t slender with almost no fat, no androgynous features what so ever. And he technically falls outside of the age restriction applied to Bishie’s, which is from roughly 12 to 20.
Although not that many folks outside of Japan might know about the age restriction. But he definitely doesn’t hit those other requirements anyway.
Lelouch Lamperouge, Sasuke Uchicha, Light Yagami, Alto Saotome, Kaworu Nagisa, lot of the male characters from Gundam Wing, Takuto Tsunashi, Yakumo Saitou, lot of the male characters from Ouran High School Host Club, to name but a few.
Those are bishie’s.
Don’t forget Vampire Knight, all of the (formerly) male members
of the now-very-dead Shojo Beat’s line-up (Hakura: Beyond the
Stream of Time, lookin’ at you).
And the sparkles. Dear Sweet Baby Jesus, the SPARKLES.
Every male character from Fruits Basket?
Specially Ayame, age restriction be damned. Especially Ayame.
Granted though as a character I find him delightful.
For reference, video quality sucks.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=c9YpuMyuBW4#t=270s
You know the Gundam Wing boys are around the same height as Faz.
Faz was alot more closer to being bishie looking in his 1st appearance before Art Evolution kicked in. Yet I have a theory that Robin pulling the Drama Tag cosmic retcon him into being Amber’s bro which change his appearance.
Light ain’t really a bishie. Not in the manga at least. The animes screw everything up…
It could be worse, guys. It could be a Comfort-U.
I’ve seen enough bizarre J-List banner ads that I know I shouldn’t ask the question that just popped into my head.
I was about to ask why a Comfort-U type would be worse…
Then my brain kicked into gear.
I don’t need to ask any more.
I regret thinking about it.
Am . . . am I feeling sorry for Faz?
Dammit Willis!
I actually feel bad for Faz. I mean, he has no meaning in life now…
That said, this comic is hilarious.
GAH!
sorry, just got a sudden case of whiplash for some reason…
This hurt me a little…I always thought Faz was unfazeable. un-fazzable if you will
The Fazalanche is, indeed, stoppable.
Set Faz-ers on stunned!
He’s lost his Fazzle-Dazzle.
He’s Fazzled out like flat soda
un-unfazzable
Sprinkler system engages in three..two…one…
I’ll bet that pillow smells like brning half babies right now.
Does that smell different from burning completely intact babies?
I’d say this one would smell like fried eggs, while the other should smell more like bacon.
This is the first time Faz has ever been shown not grinning, in all 6-7 years of the comic.
Oh my god.
He looked pretty glum when he admitted he wished he had a father to Amber.
Well, yes, but his face was tilted down in such a way so that he could look sad but the shape of his mouth wouldn’t change. If I remember correctly this was explicitly pointed out by Willis in the comments.
Well technically there is that one guest comic with all of the “horror” versions of the employees, in which Zombie Reagen is clutching Faz severed head. Faz isn’t smiling then…
Your picture makes me sad…
Imagine if he took the news REALLY WELL O_O
Is it just me or does he seem more mature in the third panel? Just the feeling I got looking at him.
He’s grown, Jacob…We’ve all grown.
But that doesn’t stop some people to act like children.
faz has a chart showing that faz is doing the opposite of growing.
Also a lot of work was done to that pillow. That’s a realistic in universe photo if you think about it. and the big boobs and stuff. There was clearly a lot of effort put into that and now it’s gone… maybe i’m dwelling on this too long
Same here. For instance, did the “cool” side of the pillow have a less into-it expression, or was it just her ass?
50 dollars.
Just saying.
ew
No Amber pillow in the store eh Willis? All my sadness.
Willis could potentially make a fortune off of those.
Good gods, Faz isn’t smiling. That “Please smack me” grin is gone. Faz actually looks human all of the sudden. Wow.
…And now I find myself waiting for Faz to be the perfect uncle to the incoming kid, glad to have an extended family.
You know, if Robin wants one of those, she might get lucky.
Odds are Faz has one of the old Amber character design back at his apartment still. She could speed over and grab it in no time before he burns it, too.
I imagine Robin’d be the kinda chick who’d want one of herself. I know I’d want one of MYself.
Now that’s a bit disturbing.
I:T more disturbing than robin wanting one of Amber?
nah, it sounds like the sort of thing I expect from Robin somehow.
I dunno, Robin has talked a LOT about how nice her own body is. In fact, other than possibly Leslie, I’d say she finds herself far more attractive than any other character does.
Plus, I seem to recall her buying naked pictures of herself from a TSA airport scanner. Wonder what she wanted them for…
I’d buy one.
Same here.
…Don’t judge me, folks…
Shut up and take my money.
*Starts digging out credit card*
Shut up.
ALL OF MY MONEY
well if you insist….
I wouldn’t buy one, but I must admit, Amber has an awesome body.
“I’d buy THAT for a dollar!”
I’m a little bit confused. Is Faz angry at Amber, or grossed out now at the idea of a relationship with her?
I think he’s pissed that she kept him from knowing his father.
And is doing a ‘dead to me!’ thing
It may be both.
I’m guessing all of the above. I mean, finding out your crush is your sister, then that she knew who your father was, but didn’t tell you about, and then that he’s dead, all at once… Yarg.
Sergeant Angel’s been taken care of?
Why does Faz remind me of Brock from Pokémon in the third panel?
You must be remembering the emotional episode where he burns his Officer Jenny and Nurse Joy body pillows.
…you know, that damn franchise has been around for so long now, I’d offer even odds that actually happened at some point.
It hasn’t, but damn if it wouldn’t have been a good sendoff for his character when he finally left.
Brock has already left. (twice) It didn’t happen.
Unlike Misty however Brock has come back (I want Misty back it was fun watching Misty give threatening looks at the newest female trainer that follows Ash like she did that time she met May.)
Even Sal knows that Brock briefly left the series.
Faz actually looks…upset? I’m confused. And a little bit scared.
I…you just made me feel sorry–utterly sad, even–for *Faz*. In three panels, no less. That’s the hallmark of good comics, sir.
You’re right, this is downright heart-wrenching.
No man should have to give up his Amber body pillow.
By burning the pillow that proves he doesn’t have any sexual feelings toward Amber so he’s not an irredeemable creep.
…at least not anymore.
Give him time and a chart and he’ll be back to normal, possibly trying to convince Leslie that not even a lesbian can resist Faz.
*Cough, cough* That thing with Amber was just a setback. A temporary one.
I don’t think it was having sexual feelings for Amber that made him a creep. It was the fact that it went beyond that, into unshakable obsession, and the way he acted upon said feelings.
The other elements of his personality don’t help.
I’m impressed with Faz.
….gugh.
The most distressing part of this comic is that he had that stored only a few yards away from the register.
Well now you know what he ‘did’ on his lunch-breaks.
So he took naps during his lunch breaks, big deal, its a common occurrence in retail.
whatever gets you through the day.
Good, I was wondering if anyone would bring that up. Now I don’t have to.
I want that pillow…….
Galasso is a pretty chill boss for letting him keep that in the store.
Galasso once had his daughter enshrined on a mountain of pillows for Faz to fornicate with any time he wanted.
So yeah, working for Galasso apparently has perks. The health plan includes resurrection, for goodness sake.
No, no, that’s just a sub-heading under “Standard Hiring Procedures”. It means he can get away with paying them less.
come back from the dead, work at toy store.
shut up and take my dignity!
Hey, I’m glad that he got rid of it. Almost a good side. Almost.
Why did he burn the pillow? Someone might need it.
Like you perhaps?
Yes..er.. I mean no. It’s not like I want the pillow or anything.
I’m sure you only wanted the pillow for wholesome reasons.
Of course not. You just want to cut holes in the eyes and make a ghost costume out of it. We all understood the need.
I can’t tell if you were being sarcastic.
Weirdly, I don’t think I can either anymore.
Than you’ve clearly been on the Internet too long.
I can’t imagine how difficult and awkward that conversation must have been. I cringe even now thinking about it. I’m glad Willis decided to skip over it and go directly to this instead.
Damn. Faz has standards.
Why do I feel like, by the end of this arc, Faz will have transferred his creepy-obsessive personality into being a dedicated, creepy-obsessive uncle to Amber’s baby?
Oh, God, I’m betting on this.
That or he’ll hate Amber and wish her nothing but pain and suffering…
And as much as I hate to say it – He wouldn’t necessarily be wrong to do feel that way. I mean for years she kept this little tid bit of info from him as he a) always wanted to know who his father was (sure – the man was an scum, but Faz would have known that first hand) and b) unknowingly wasted a good part of his life flirting with his half-sister.
Kinda a bitch move on her part – not that Amber is a saint anyway or that Faz is a great person, but still…
Can we please not call it “flirting” with his half-sister? He has been obsessing over and sexually harrassing his half-sister.
I can’t say that – not well I’m forced to have emotions for the little smug sleaze ball…
(although that is a far more accurate description of his behavior; one that makes his reaction all the more depressing really)
Eh, who doesn’t have a useless-yet-creepy uncle?
I do.
This is amazing.
Am I feeling bad for that little sleaze-ball. I mean; I’m sure he’s still scum, but he’s…
He’s human…
Faz is – Faz is human…
I expected him to be upset about the dad thing, but the way he looks – so dejected and miserable like he’s wasted years of his life on the most worthless pursuit possible is just…
[shivers]
First Mike being nice when not drunk and now this.
Willis is trying to kill his audience.
But man…
Sell those pillows.
I’m a horrible person…
Requests like asking Willis to sell Sex Pillows could result in Creator Breakdown.
You just linked to TvTropes after midnight. That’s just cruel.
Is that like feeding a gremlin after midnight?
No, it’s like opening a door with a sign that saids “Do Not Open”.
If you pour water on tropes, they multiply.
^THIS^
They don’t even need water.
Dammit! You made me lose three hours in TvTropes D:
You there, young boy, what year is it!?
and thus I find Tropes in both Shortpacked and DoA.
\o/
I feel you, man.
How DARE I feel something for Faz?! Some small piece of pity. I am most ashamed. This is amongst my highest of personal failings.
I want that smug little smile back. Look at him. That emotion is clearly identifiable. It’s real. He’s always been wrapped in this miasma of nothingness when it comes to positive or even neutral emotions – the only thing that could get through was hate. And now that is gone.
Forever.
Or until the next storyline, let’s see where this goes.
I…MUST…HAVE IT!…..errr…I mean, yes, sell the pillows.
Most disturbing viking funeral ever!
…proving once again that the best comments aren’t necessarily the first comments!
more like “disappointing”. he’s right there in a coastal city and he didn’t bother to burn it at sea?
I’m telling you, Willis, put that pillow in the store and you will be set for life. SET. FOR. LIFE.
I’d buy that for a dollar. Several dozen dollars in fact. Seriously, the last time I instantly wanted to buy something frivolous was the blow up Portal turret.
I don’t know what disturbs me more, that he went to the trouble of making that pillow… or the fact that he keeps it at work.
Hmmm. We once saw Faz acting as a servant for Galasso even after he’d been fired. He such a determined brown-noser that it wouldn’t shock me to learn he LIVED in this store. Maybe he sleeps behind that desk. Hence the presence of the pillow.
We’ve never really seen his home life, anyway. Now THAT would be a fascinating storyline. Watch, turns out he has friends and a nice place. Maybe there’s even a girl who likes him, but he’s been too Amber-obsessed to really notice.
I kinda surprised no one picked up on the crank-the-creepy-up-to-eleven factor where he has that pillow there, with him, AT THE STORE. That was just lying there behind the counter, was it . . . .
Eh, the store probably sells them. Knowing Galasso, it probably sells them of all of his employees.
And each pillow has the image of Mike on the reverse side. Staring accusingly.
Now I’m wondering how many more of them he has at home.
so… where did he get the photo for that?
Shoop! There it is!
I don’t think any of us want to know.
Probably from a memory stick or the like.
He probably found a pic online with the same body type and Photoshopped Amber’s head onto it.
It’s probably a photo of Amber’s face shopped onto some swimsuit model’s body.
Unsmiley Faz…
;_;
WHAT WILL BECOME OF HIS WEBSITE NOW?!
Will http://ibuyextradomainscuzihavenopenis.com/ still be a shrine to his once beloved amber?
At least it will still detail the names he won’t call out during sex.
I’m betting one of two mental breakdowns for Faz
1. Anguish. He just starts bawling that not only will he never meet his father, but also the love of his life is truly forbidden territory, or
2. Rage. Just pure rage that everyone in the store knew this information & withheld it from him for years & years.
Any takers?
3. Sublimation. He focuses his attention on a new girl…single, and every bit as unresponsive as Amber.
Lesbian.
i just gotta point out how well your avatar matches this…
I’m betting 1, if only because 2 would inevitably end in him attacking Amber and Mike destroying him.
I can’t really imagine Faz ever getting angry. He’s always been either remarkably optimistic or depressingly pathtic. So, I’ll have to put my bet on soul-crushing anguish.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CEy-e8YajWI/T2qNKN3CcYI/AAAAAAAAF7Y/4hWAkY-3LYs/s1600/20120321_StarscreamBodyPillow.jpg I’m just gonna leave this here
“Agog” is a word for times such as these.
That has to be the most appropriate word. It’s what I said while looking at… at that thing…. agog…
It’s the second picture that creeps me the hell out.
I mean, Starscream is a sexy beast. I’d cuddle him–assuming robots are cuddleable, which they’re not. Being made of metal and all. But that second one is just so…darn…creepy.
I’ve never been turned on by F-15′s. Maybe if he turned into a Burt Rutan Starship.
You KNOW that Megatron has one of those…
Probably, so does Starscream…
HOLY CRAP I WOULD TOTALLY BUY THAT FOR MY SPOUSE.
“I have dreamed a dream; but now that dream is gone from me”
Also, before I forget…BULLOCKS to all of you who are saying “oh, I feel so sorry Faz all of a sudden.” Faz has been my favorite character since day 1 of his introduction, & I have LONG thought Amber & Co. as Bitches for not saying anything to him. In my opinion, Faz has every right to take Rick’s sword & go on a murderous rampage through the store. Hell, I’d love to see it happen.
Rant over now
I too have always enjoyed the antics of The Great Faz. I’ve been waiting all week to see his reaction. Now I am excited to see where this story will take him.
Faz has already experienced Ninja Rick’s ‘sword’ and it has tasted his blood.
I always liked Faz. I always found him endearing if not a little pathetic.
Now I want a poll of people who liked Faz before. For some reason, I’m betting very few ladies did. Faz is a good antagonist, and funny, downright hilarious, at his best. But he’s also very creepy. And in an unfortunately realistic way. Like Willis took some of the more upsetting experiences of unwanted attention a gal can have, and distilled them into this one tiny dude who never. Stops. Smiling.
Yeah, it’s kind of hard to hate him too much due to his tendency to fail. More pity and general disregard rather than hatred really.
And for Faz, it’s sort of like a double whammy in that Amber denied him one of his life dreams, and turned another life dream into a horrifying, disgusting nightmare.
Of course, he kind of made the later one a bit worse by having a god damn fuck pillow made of her.
But I always felt they should have told him too (mostly Amber as one could make an argument that none of the others are directly involved in her family’s issues and probably wouldn’t know where to begin).
I guess when it comes down to it – everyone was afraid to tell him because they all find him creepy and put it off using various excuses and now it’s to late.
Well it’s been played for comedy the weight of Amber’s choice not to tell Faz the truth until now has been treated fairly seriously and all those little jokes don’t seem so funny now (or at least they have become a whole lot darker in retrospect).
I think many of us exaggerate just how much we ‘hate’ Faz. He’s an adorable creepy little sleaze whom we all secretly love and loath at the same exact time!
I kind of saw it as Amber not wanting to shatter his vision of the father he never knew.
I don’t remember the comic or the wording, but Faz seemed to make mention that he dreamed of meeting his father and implied he hoped it would be great. Amber didn’t want to ruin that (and might have been worried that telling him wouldn’t stop his lusting for her and would just make it EVEN MORE creepy than it was) so she just kept quiet as long as possible.
I think it’s fairly clear she didn’t tell Faz purely because of her own self-interest and only saw Faz as creepy, not as her half-brother who had the right to know. She even tried to pull “he was better off not knowing the creep” and Ethan shot that down by pointing out that she never gave Faz the chance to learn that for himself; which he had the right too.
Although she did flat out say she thought that Faz would still lust for her, but that was only one of the reasons she didn’t tell him and really was still her (and Faz’s) problem and doesn’t preclude the fact that she robbed a guy who flat out said he wanted to meet his father thee right to do just that…
Although I do think she told herself she’d tell him someday, but never really intended to. (telling herself that along with the fact that Faz is a creep helped her not feel guilty)
I loved Faz. He was fucking awesome! If not a little creepy
protip; when your opinion suddenly has more followers, don’t get pissed off at the people who are agreeing with you!
I’ll be damned, he DOES have two brain cells to rub together.
Okay, first of all; Where the hell did Faz get an Amber love pillow? Second; Oh my god, she finally shut him up and got that smile off his face! This is so goddamn satisfying! Third; Someone, please tell me Robin’s talking about getting a lighter…
And here I thought the idea of Faz having an Amber pillow was just a comments joke.
DAMN YOU, WILLIS!
I’m dissappointed, I expected Faz to light HIMSELF on fire. But I guess it’s better than nothing.
Also, about the Amber body pillow: SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY WILLIS!
I am mildly surprised that Faz does not see incest as a potential turn-on. Relieved, but surprised.
Well, what do you know, Faz actually has some standards.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m proud of you, little man.
Ya, I know, this actually put him a few knots up in my book.
FYI, the Japanese term for such body pillows is dakimankura, and one can purchase a variety of slipcovers (with just about every female anime character ever created) to accessorize them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dakimakura
Yes, it is an embarrassing but true cliche of otaku culture.
No true otaku can call themselves one without at least one of those pillows.
Thank God I got out in time. Thank God I got out in time. Thank God I got out in time. Thank God I got out in time. Thank God I got out in time. Thank God I got out in time.
Then I’m glad that I am not a true otaku. And I’ve avoided buying the ero-figurines as well, although some of that is me being cheap. The high quality figures (ero or safe) are damn expensive!
I had no idea such things existed, so my first-glance impression of it was even worse- a custom-made life-size doll disturbingly wrapped in a huge plastic bag.
Not exactly a Japanese thing, actually.
I forgot about those things, but as far as I am aware, they never became popular the way they did in Japan.
neither did animated child pornography, what’s your point?
Kimiko! Nooooooooo!
Faz uses scowl. It is very effective.
My pity for Faz evolves into sympathy. Faz earns a piece of my respect.
This comment wins the thread.
And now we know why Mike was nice yesterday; the joy of crushing someone’s soul more than made up for it.
Y’know, I’ve always liked Faz. He was creepy as hell, but he made things stupidly funny. I had always hoped to see more of him, a different side of him, but this… this wasn’t how I wanted it to happen… Faz, I’m sorry you had to get more character development through such cruel means…
Character development pretty much only happens through cruel means. To develop a character, you have to push them. To push them, you have to put them in an undesirable circumstance, and bring them to the point where they either have to change the circumstance or change themselves.
Do it. DOOOO IIIIIT
So apparently I’m the only person here who is worried that a pregnant woman might inhale the toxic fumes of burning polyester. PRIORITIES, PEOPLE!!
Faz was always insane in some ways, but when he first appeared he was slightly more functional than he became in his later appearances. This was also when his main character trait was trying to get promoted and financial gain, as opposed to later when it was his Amber obsession. So I am guessing after this we will probably see a more cold, but more functional Faz.
or he’ll just end up obsessing over someone else.
So Faz will become the new Shockwave?
ninja rick inferior, faz superior.
and i appear to have misread “shockwave” as “soundwave”
woops…
Holy cow! Frowny Faz. :O
He could’ve thrown that pillow in the dumpster instead.
Or give it to someone else.
Would anyone else want to touch it?
OMG Faz is human????
I am just as amazed.
I always assumed he was like an undying symbol for all the creeps in the world.
Faz is just not grinning… I got so used to it it’s scary not to see it.
Holy crap. For once, I not only see Faz without his weird little smirk, but I see him visually showing “Some lines, even I won’t cross.” He’s HUMAN! =O
I wonder if this is the thing that finally snaps Faz into being a normal human being?
First off… like so many others have already said: depressed Faz is kinda scary. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him appear without a smile before. Even during the incident with Ninja Jack and him in bed, I think he was still smiling.
Second: I’m curious about the pillow. Was that a recreation of Amber that Faz made, or was that a photograph that he had printed on the pillow. If so… where did he get that photo of Amber?
I’m surprised there wasn’t a few holes in certain select places on the pillow…..
He didn’t even hear her, he was just like “Faz forgot to update Polyester Amber to Pregnant Mode. There are consequences for lying to your bedmate, ‘loyal’ pillow.”
now i’m wishing faz had shoved a couple throw pillows under the slipcase.
Faz had an Amber body pillow and there wasn’t a wedding subplot? I find this hardest to believe in everything that has happened in Shortpacked.
You won’t sell those? What are you a Commie? No wonder Ronnie left the book. ;p
Willis, Y U no sell Amber pillow?
I wonder what Mrs. Animal would say if I had a Sal pillow made?
(She’d probably want to share.)
Thank you, Willis, for not drawing any stains on that pillow.
So do his burning actions still make him “creepy?”
Maybe it’s the fact that it was his sex-pillow of her and the fact that he had it in the store.
I just want to know where did Faz find the picture to put on his pillow. Or maybe I don’t.
That’s a nice picture btw.
the internet and a little photoshop would have taken care of that.
Hm… My guess here is that Fez is not bothered by the incest factor, but by the fact that Amber could have told him who his father was while he was still alive, but didn’t.
I also guess that I am terrible at spelling names. I mean, wow.
No, see, while Amber was talking, it got really cold in the store. He’s just trying to keep everyone warm.
Well, it’s good to see he’s not doubling down.
I alway’s imagined that Faz’s eyes would pop out the moment he heard about him and Amber.
Maybe they did and we just didn’t get to see it. *sigh* Someday…
Awwww, well now I just feel bad for Faz.
I’ve seen this mentioned already quite a few times, but I’ll throw my lot in with the people that are surprised that Faz is bothered by this. Good show, Faz! There’s some decency in you yet. At least a little.
My god. That frown. It is so very haunting. Like a king who had just lost his throne…
Wow. It looks like there’s something that actually made Faz feel dirty. I didn’t think that was possible.
If you’re not selling the pillows, at least post the unobstructed drawing ON the pillow
Why…do I feel a slight twinge of sympathy? I suddenly wish to hug Faz.
Looking forward to further reactions from Faz. Even if he’s just sort of morose for the next couple of weeks.
I feel bad for Faz now, but it needed to be done, I hope this isn’t the end of this
Amber Body Pillows, Willis, you need to make this happen. Creepy or not, those things would sell.
HAHA! I had the same reaction as your wife. “Ewwwww! … Bet Willis would make a killing if he sold those.”
That’s actually a really healthy response that I would not think Faz was capable of having.
If Faz was to quit over this, I would be behind him all the way. People have been treating him like shit for years, and this is just one more strike against him.
He’s gone out of his way to act in a manner that makes people dislike him, despite contrary advice. Everyone else in the store is just as screwed up as he is, if not more.
Wait, what? You’re equating someone he has stalked, in a very literal and phenomenally creepy sense, and been creeped out and offended by his phenomenally creepy dehumanising advances, telling him that he really can’t make her ‘Amber, Lover of Faz’ because they’re related by blood – thus killing his (comical from a real world perspective) repulsive behaviour where it stands – to “treating him like shit”? Somehow, preventing him from being a pervy lil’ creature (which is expressly a bad thing, and not because he isn’t attractive or some such, but because his behaviour is repulsive and they are actual siblings) is a “strike against him”? And he has, as said previously, pissed everyone off because his personality and resultant traits are awful. If he’s been treated like shit (which I would refute – pretty much everything’s been retaliatory and usually proportional, based on individual and accumulative behaviour), he’s bleeding well earned it.
Well, except that time that Amber kept making Mike punch him for no reason. That was kind of a dick move.
That is kinda shitty.
Other than that and keeping the father thing a secret Amber’s behavior towards Faz is surprisingly lenient.
Hell; everyone is far nicer to him than they really need be given how he acts…
Then again everyone is far nicer to Mike, Malaya, and Robin than they need be given their general behavior patterns…
not quite the reaction i expected once faz learned the truth that his dad is dead and he and amber are sibs though that amber pillow kind of hints that faz still would want to do amber but now can’t learning the truth . and such faz becomes a pyromaniac for a bit.
I think your wife’s on to some thing. You could sell silk screened pillowcases $20 -$30 a pop. It could work…..did I mention I have papal on auto load….
Where did he get that pi–oh, right, Mike.
Oh sure, now you have standards; just wait until Takara releases a lucky-draw Prime Hot Shot or something, then watch the sex-pillow sales commence. =P
Is it just me, or does Faz appear to have grown in this strip? I don’t mean as in character. I mean size.
Just imagine…in the next strip Faz might actually speak in FIRST PERSON….whOoOo…scaAaAaryyyyy…,
*facepalm*
You know he switches back and forth between first and third rather sporadically right?
the wererat had not noticed. I will try to be more observant in the future.
I never thought I’d say this, but this week needed more Faz. I’d gladly trade the Jesus strip (not the series’ best or most original joke) for actually SEEING the start of this Really Important Conversation that we spent five strips building up to. I understand that David may want to keep the END of that talk a secret for now, since that might reveal too much about Faz’s current state of mind, but watching Amber grit her teeth through her first “sisterly” act toward Faz seems like it’d be great fun, and I’d actually enjoy Faz making one more overture toward Amber now that his dream is doomed.
I mean, I understand the artistry. These two simple gestures– burning the mattress and actually frowning– tell us that Faz’s feelings toward Amber are shattered. But for all the exposition thrown around at the start of this story, I think we needed to be re-exposed to Faz’s “before” state so we could properly appreciate the “after.” (Amber doing an impression of him doesn’t really count– that’s still secondhand.)
The thing is we know Faz’s before state, we’ve seen him in it hundreds of times. What you’re suggesting might be good for new readers–though most, I expect, would trawl through the archive first–but this story isn’t exactly going to draw in any. Which is, y’know, fine, because it’s important for the continued growth and development of the characters, but the point stands. People reading will know who Faz is and pick up on the significant points without needing some sort of reminder.
While I agree Amber trying to start the conversation and getting one last Faz overture might’ve been nice, I don’t think they’re necessary.
Willis, your refusal to give the fans what they want means that I am completely morally in the clear when I announce that I’m making my own, third-party Amber body pillow without paying you royalties or even asking for your blessing. That’s just how things work.
Faz lost his fizz
Payoff! Can’t wait to see more fall out from this.
I wonder what will happen to Faz now.
I wonder how Faz got that pillow. Did he photoshop a picture of her with someone else’s body?
Mother of God…Amber has done the impossible.
She wiped that stupid smug look off Faz’s face.
Ha. I spend three days going through the archives, and this is the strip that’s current when I’m done. I have awesome timing, and you rock.
I’m surprised at Faz. Isn’t there an entire genre modern anime about step siblings getting into wacky sexual situations/making baby jesus cry? In a typical plot they run into a few speed bumps, but in the end they realize they’re still in horrifying lust with their siblings.
I really wish this wasn’t a thing. Shortpacked is the only possible variation of this trope I’m willing to tolerate.
If they’re -step- siblings, who cares? They’re not related to each other. A good friend of mine used to date his step sister. They hit it off, they weren’t related, and they weren’t even raised together. Their only connection is that their parents happened to hit it off many years after they were born.
Faz and Amber are -half- siblings, which is a little different. (mind you, there’s plenty of anime where people bang their actual blood relatives, but typically they go the stepsister route.
My mistake, half siblings is what I meant. Got my terms mixed up. There have been at least 3 recent animes I’ve run into where the romance centers around blood relatives, either full of half. I just don’t get the appeal.
Hrmmm hows about a Mike pillow?
I’ll take seven. Shamelessly.
And a Walky.
Shouldn’t he burn stuff OUTSIDE of the toy store?
NOPE!
Imagine how Faz feels finding out that someone he has feelings for is his half sister.
This reminds me of that 30 Rock episode where James DiFranco has fallen for a japanese body pillow… Man, his acting was bad…
Where’d he get a pic of Amber in that outfit and that position for the pillow, though?
Ah, the first (or one of the few) times Faz isn’t smiling.
Whew. This was the first strip I read. I’ve now gone through the archive and Bingo! it makes sense! Which means I’ve nearly finished the archive and I’ll have to wait for updates soon…..WAAAAHHHHH….
Well, I was secretly hoping for Sodomuffin, but this is pretty cool too.