Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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I. Am. Loving. This.
Oh my God ME TOO. I hope we get some parables or proto-gnostic aphorisms soon.
I know, right?? This Religions major is so happy right now.
Agreed. This is gold.
Wasn’t sure where you were going with this but… yeah that was hilarious.
I’m a Christian, I’m up for a little laugh about this, just as long as it doesn’t go too far. Sadly, I’m sure once I click Next, David will prove me wrong.
OH WOW evil stepdad fight! Didn’t see THAT coming.
Ya know, it occurred to me, since He’s been brought back, are we all now older than Jesus?
[or, those of us older than 33, anyway]
Wow.
REALLY been practicing that English.
Nah, he’s just *really* good.
I believe it’s called “Speaking in tongues”.
Hey, could He be @StuffMyGodSays on Twitter?? XD XD
He IS the ultimate Universal Translator. He does know every language because He knows everything.
For the record, Willis, I’m applauding the fact that you’ve clearly done some homework with this.
(Specifically, the fact that you’re acknowledging that Jesus is essentially the ancient version of the name Joshua.)
You should have seen my reading material for the cruise.
See, that’s what I’m loving. You didn’t half-ass this. You said “I’m going to do the historical Jesus” and then did your homework. This is far more fun than if you’d just done bringing back the classical portrayal of Jesus.
Actually, in all truthfulness, you got it a little backwards. Reading about Jesus is one of those things I do for fun. Sometimes it leaks out into my comic, same as any of my other interests.
So far the only thing that perturbs me is that Galasso would have any power or say on when Jesus would return. I’ll try not to get all “uppity” about it, but Lucy got some splannin to do!
Can I ask why would a non christian find interest in reading about Jesus?Do you just like to study comparative religions? The later I could understand since I do the same. I’d be interested to know what books you have read on the subject….
Seriously you have to have Jesus asking batman how he breaths in space. That would be hilarious!
Lucy got some splannin to do!
So you think the Morningstar has something to do with this?
Nah. These days I hear he runs a nightclub.
I’m clapping so hard at your comment it’s breaking the world in half.
The same way Galasso brought back Reagan. He just has a way to do it. Nothing religious about it.
And there’s nothing against reading about a historical figure. He was just a man.
Who knew he was free?
On the “why would a non-christian find it interesting to read about Jesus” thing…
First, atheists actually tend to know more, on average, about at least the predominant religion in their culture than those who self-identify as members of that religion (A lot of this may simply be the fact that those who will actually identify as an atheist to some random pollster are more likely to be forced to be conversant, whilst those self-identifying as religious will include those who don’t believe but don’t want to be challenged on it, as well as those who pay lip service but don’t really know much at all regarding it. Also, many in the “doubting” stage that usually precedes what some call “deconversion” [going from active adherent to atheist] do quite a lot of research because they’re looking for something to justify their faith,). Sometimes it’s made a lot more interesting to read if you (a) don’t assume the truth of it and/or (b) look at it in terms of things like historical context.
Second, do consider that the character Joyce in the Walkyverse is “auto-biographical” (and then consider her character arc in the Walkyverse). I don’t presume to know Willis’s specific beliefs, but from what I understand he used to be a pretty hardcore Christian himself and is know not so much that.
I’m a Scientific Rational Agnostic. I’ve studied Islam, Judaism, Christianity, Buddism, Taoism, Vodoun, and several others including quite a wide range of the “occult”. Note, I am aware and have studied the subcategories of each. Not all of them, but ‘m young yet). Because I believe I can’t dismiss it until I’ve studied it, and I only dismiss it in that it is not proven and thus, while valuable socially, simply not for me.
About half my friends are religious of some kind or another, and I have my Faith in Science and Reason. I find, however, religious study to be important and think all people should study other faiths besides their own; it inspires greater understanding and the ability to love and care about one another.
Really I’d think it could all be pretty interesting to anyone who enjoys myths, fairytales, and folklore.
Though it sounds like what Willis reads up on is more of a History thing, which once again plenty of people enjoy without needing to worship the historical figure. If there was an actual man who the Jesus story was based on then he’s certainly had some pretty severe rippling effects on the course of history that can still be felt today. That sounds about as fascinating as anything one could read up on.
I am very much the same!
& it is so nice to see a similar minded, open, reasonable human! yayyy
Speaking for myself, as a lifelong atheist, he’s a damn interesting guy. I can’t imagine why anyone wouldn’t want to read about him.
Agreed. He’s one of my favorite subjects to read about. The religion that sprang up around him and his death matters far less to me than the man himself.
The history of early Christianity is pretty interesting even if you’re not a believer. Or maybe especially if you’re not a believer and the existence of textual variants and controversies over what belongs in the canon doesn’t interfere with a belief in Biblical inerrancy.
I especially like reading about pseudepigrapha and other texts that ultimately didn’t make the cut.
Is it Joshua? That, too, sounds like a westernization to me.
…For what it’s worth, in Hebrew we pronounce his name “Ye-shu”.
Well, the name Joshua itself is a westernization.
“Jesus” is the Greek version of his Aramaic name (a lot of stuff was written in Greek back then, including at the very least good chunks of the New Testament, so the name version stuck. I think it got heavily used in Paul’s letters, given they were in Greek.
After all, it wasn’t long ago that they did FAR more nomenclatural localization than they do today. Case in point, the explorer the English speaking world knows as “John Cabot” is known to French speakers as “Jean Cabot” and his birthname was the italian name “Giovanni Caboto”.
Wow From Giovanni to John. And heh when I hear Westernization or localization, I think of 4kids TV. XD
The Bible brought to you by 4kids the next psudo Anime Hit of
Dueling!
Russian roulette is not the same without a gun / but since we’re dubbed by 4kids we must make do without one
I still think he needs a chocofix–or else he’s going to trash the place like the Jerusalem temple bazaar.
How did Galasso re-brought Jesus?
Technology, natch!
Maybe he has the power to revive people, and he did the same with Mike.
Yeah, which means he found the body. Heh.
You think he exhumed Reagan? Methinks the man just doesn’t let little things like not having the body or not having the technology or not the whole think being impossible, he doesn’t let little things like that stand in his way. It’s called committment, people. Dedication and stick-to-it-iveness.
Explains how he had a daughter without knowing how.
The same way he got Reagan, presumably.
You know this question, combined with the others answers and his, “You’re not my real dad,” comment makes me wonder if we’ve finally found the answer to how Galasso could have a daughter without knowing a thing about sex.
Makes you wonder who Conquest was in a former life, doesn’t it.
Cleopatra? Nah, she was apparently not actually that pretty. Maybe Helen of Troy.
See, that works for me though since I don’t find Conquest to be all that pretty. I’ll stick with Cleopatra.
With SCIENCE.
Lazarus Pit.
Oh MAI GAWD
Now Ethan just needs to have gay sex with Jesus, and this is officially the best webcomic ever.
What if he had straight sex with Jesus?
Then this would be “El Goonish Shive”
+512 internets, especially since today’s page at El Goonish Shive is about a lesbian couple considering having straight sex.
I know right? What a coincidence!
Every time you see a rainbow, God is having gay sex.
showler, you must be reading a different version of El Goonish Shive than I am. Whether its a better one will be decided when Cthulu comes for us all and we each receive our just rewards.
Narmenduke, maybe it’s just how I see it, but have you gone through the entire archive of El Goonish Shive and missed the TF gun’s use or are you speaking out of your stinky nether region?
The sex with Jesus part was the confusing bit…
But. What does God need. withagaysexualencounter?
</shatner>
Jesus looks like he will go rebel soon.
What a fun subplot.
Is it OK if I hug you really hard next time I see you?
How can Galasso ‘re-take’ him out? Does he have a cortex-bomb inside of him?
We all know that Jesus’s cringe and become powerless when exposed to a cross. After that retaking him out is easy.
Jesus doesn’t sparkle!
Did Paul lie?
He transfigured, but he didn’t sparkle!
He might have, Jesus’ bros did get a bit distracted by the giant holograms to the left and right! of him before they took a dive towards the ground…It’s a good thing they weren’t epileptic.
But he does carry a magic wand! I’m hoping you bring that into the story at some point.
Willis, this is why I love your Gravatar. No matter what you type, I imagine you saying it in this really enthusiastic voice.
No wonder Jesus hasn’t been able to come back because he can’t enter a church because there is always a crucifix at entrance!
Poor dude probably has some pretty bad PTSD issues, and a few bad associations with crosses. Just sayin’.
Historical Jesus is delightfully rage-y
Well he did say all that stuff, and if you think about it it’s not the sort of thing you’d normally say calmly, especially if you’re not just quoting it.
That’s what’s so delightful about the rage-y-ness. Like, DUH! Obviously.
Especially when addressing someone decidedly Pharisaical like Galasso. (Actually, Faz is more of a Pharisee…)
For some reason seeing Galasso from that angle in panels four and six is really uncanny to me…
Righteous fury!!!
Just like Starfire using her star-bolts~! ^ ^
No. No, I’m not doing it. It’s too predictable, and therefore flies in the face of–
Well, yeah, naturally some smartass is going to do it eventually, but that doesn’t mean I might as well–
…Alright, fine. One sec.
*achem*
“I think it was ‘blessed are the cheesemakers’.”
…What?
The Cheese is a god like entity in the Walkyverse
But can he see the REAL reason why kids LOVE the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
It’s a quote from Life of Brian. XD
OH MY GOD! LINKARA COMMENTED ON ONE OF MY POSTS!
Might I just take this moment to say LOVE the show and the Dan Garrett Blue Beetle origin comic is still here for you if you want it.
Well, obviously it’s not meant to be taken literally; it refers to any manufacturers of dairy products!
See, if you hadn’t been going on we’d have heard that, Bignose.
Well done, sir
Mind boggling.
I am starting think Galasso may have just took a crazed homeless man off the street and stuck a shortpacked shirt on him.
Don’t tell anybody, but that’s actually what he did with the employees known as Mike and Reagan. XD
I thought he just resurrected them. Which occurs to me if Galasso Resurrected Jeshua and Jeshua is to usher in the Kingdom of God and the messianic age does that make Galasso a messiah by association?
Oh dear. Into the shark pits we go, then.
I don’t think that will work since, you know he can walk on it. and then turn it into wine and then the sharks will die of Alcohol poisoning.
Well, that’ll take care of the marinade for the shark steaks then…
That sounds delicious.
…what were we talking about again?
Is he stating it as if it were the first time and Galasso never heard it, reminding Galasso about it, or formally reaffirming the statement?
I’m wondering if Galasso’s daughter is going to show up in this story arc, given the parent/child nature of the relationship between him and “Jeshua” shown thus far…
The last temptation of Christ?
If this story ends with a shot of Connie and Jesus in bed together, I might die laughing.
Hey, Jesus redeemed a prostitute in the bible. Maybe he’ll marry Conquest and make an honest woman out of her.
And then Galasso’s heir will be God’s grandson. Everybody wins.
But since we’re all God’s children, wouldn’t that be incest?
“made in His image” brings it to twincest.
+1 Internet to you.
I LOLed.
You sir/madam/whatever the case may be, just put the win in twincest.
Seems a bit more high-strung than I’d picture Jesus (when he’s not kicking money-lenders out of the temple anyway) I mean “The meek shall rule!” is not a phrase you’d expect to hear shouted angrily.
But then I try to imagine how stressful it must be to be dumped two millenia into the future and forced to become fluent in an entirely new language overnight and I realize he’s actually handling this all relatively calmly.
Great going Galasso. Now you’ve done gone and resurrected the only other person who wants to take over the world.
I’m not sure “take over” is the right way to put it, and I’m sure there are plenty other people who want to do that too
Anyway, this is going to be EPIC.
Well, cross off any time travel device of my list on how Galasso brougt back Jesus.
We don’t really know Jesus’ Aramaic name, do we? All the sources are Greek…
I gather we do know his real name, but exactly how we know it, that I don’t know. Interesting question!
My initial guesses:
1) In that big pile of apocrapha, there might be some in Hebrew.
2) Maybe we just know Greek?
It’s “Iesous,” the same name as Joshua and Jesus ben Sirach.
He wouldn’t have spoken Hebrew; it had died out as a common tongue by then.
Augh! The dialogue of Jesus and Galasso is almost interchangeable!
He’s learning English by listening to Bible audiobooks?
Depart from me ye with no hair. You do not deserve to place your hand on one with such a magnificent fro and beard.
Damn good point! Might be getting a little too personal with Galasso, though.
“Depart from me ye with no goodness” is appropriate, too!
“You’re not my real dad.” Classic.
Now we just have to wait for Mike to meet Jesus. I kind of hope they fight, though I’m not sure if I want Mike to win or Jesus (okay it’ll be funnier if Jesus wins…)
Mike would “win” the fight physically, but Jesus would somehow turn it around and out-dick move him.
Jesus fighting Mike would be like Goku fighting Superman.
Goku DID fight Superman, in a crossover comic. Goku won.
Mike would lose against Jesus because Jesus would keep turning the other cheek.
Mike is, after all, powerless against those who don’t actually get offended by his antics. We saw that back when the John Hodgeman lookalike visited the store.
Hmm, wasn’t this very subject covered in a previous comic? (If I recall there was a third proposed participant in that combat, but still.)
And the Lord spake unto Mike, saying, “Don’t be a dick.”
And Mike said, “No”.
Get thee behind me, Galasso.
Today’s comic is funny and all, but I just had to say, RE your Hijinks Ensue appearance:
DICK IN A BOX!! AAAAAHH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAH-HAH-HAAAAAAAAAH!!
No, not sarcasm, really, that was brilliant and hilarious!
Agreed, that was great.
That’s a bit of an odd translationn of the original text…
The guy was running an apocalyptic cult and predicting the end of the world within the people there’s lifetimes. While the wording here may not exactly match (and why would Jesus quote himself exactly anyway? He’s the original source, he can say it any way he wants), the sentiment is straight-out biblical.
The thing I like is how a two-thousand year hiatus isn’t even slowing down his “The world is going to end within your generation” schtick. He’s like- -like every other guy who predicts the end of the world and it doesn’t happen!
That’s what I keep asking: He said some of his then-followers would still be alive when The End.
So… where are the 2000-year-old Jews??
One of his disciples was secretly Vandal Savage.
This is now my personal Canon.
Now, the CONTROVERSIAL and possibly offensive canon would be to say that Vandal was St. Peter.
You know, given the guy set up a powerful religious institution, it kinda makes sense when you consider that.
(Then again, making him Jesus also makes sense, given the whole “cannot die” bit.)
No, a time-travelling Resurrection Man was Jesus… Vandal Savage was either Judas (a bit on the nose, I know), or St. Peter as you said.
Ah, well there’s a simple solution to that. “The End” wasn’t some far-distant time but an event that occured approximately 30 years after Jesus spoke those words, when the Romans invaded Jerusalem and ended the old Hebraic temple-centred religion.
We saw the abomination that causes desolation in the form of either the desecration of the temple by “defenders”, or the subsequent use of the temple court as a setting for the banners of the Roman legions, where they sacrified to their own gods once the conquest was complete. And of course the temple was torn down completely after being burned to the ground.
It all fits really. Even the curse the Jewish leaders put on themselves when they were forcing Pilate to have Jesus crucified came to pass. Those who died in the siege were either present at the time, or were the children of those present. Thousands of Jerusalem’s inhabitants were crucified by the Romans. And if you want to see it as a religious thing you can say it was prophecy, or if you want to see it entirely as a secular thing, anyone who had a brain back then could see that the Roman occupation was going to end badly and would have been able to predict that the Romans would eventually crush Judea and make it part of the Empire proper. Honestly they would have been much better alligning themselves with the Persians…
The text never actually says that the Kingdom of God is physical or visible, just that it’s going to arrive soon and change everything. It’s hard to argue that nothing changed with the Roman conquest of Israel; the loss of the temple caused a pretty fundamental problem in the jewish thought and numerous ways of dealing with it were tried. Eventually two prospered: Talmudic judaism, which remained Jewish, and Christianity, which was sucked up into Greco-roman gnosticism within 200 years of its birth.
Incidentally the whole gnostic thing is the reason christianity is so contradictory. One example is the modern christian claim that looking at a woman and thinking she’s sexy is a sin. It’s bullshit.
Christianity did connect with gnosticism, but I wouldn’t say it got absorbed by it, especially since Christian orthodoxy rejected the basic tenets of gnosticism pretty thoroughly. I don’t really buy the “Paul was a gnostic” theory.
Teenage angst Jesus? who knew?
The Shadow knows!
The combination of the bible quote and the expression in the second last panel reminds me strongly of a Chick Tract.
Hahahahaha!
This is amazing, I’m glad this wasn’t just a one-off gag.
This is just too zany! How did he bring the historical Jesus back? Why is he working at a toy store?
Man, the backgrounds are looking really fantastic lately.
Hahaha, I really shouldn’t deflate you, because of my Legend, but I’ve been using these backgrounds for about a year now. Just copy-paste…
David, I love you.
In a platonic, manly, bro-I-admire-your-shit kind of way, of course.
I just want you to know that.
David, I love you too…
Except it’s totally sexual…
So Galasso caused the Second Coming? Judgement Day is upon us! Repent! Repent!
Yes, this is how Willis plans to avoid controversy with this arc: by turning it into a surrealist exploration into the nature of epistemology.
Let’s see.
Mighty becoming slaves: Mike played a part in saving the world. Now he works retail. Galasso is. . . Galasso, and he ended up locked in a cage.
Meek ruling: Amber is now the assistant manager.
Okay, let’s see you do Muhammad.
Shouldn’t his hands be bandaged so he’s not leaking stigmata fluids in the store?
Oh boy. We’re really going there. I was certain he’d turn out to be some guy named “Hey-soose” tha Galasso hired to further expand the store’s ethnicity coverage. But no, he’s Jesus. Or thinks he is.
This will be epic.
Didn’t mean that to be a reply. :/ Hrm.
In modern vernacular, the part of the body referenced would be wrists. Besides, wounds heal up eventually, and Jesus after his resurrection when he visited his disciples wasn’t bleeding from the wounds suffered from the crucifixion, despite people being able to put their hands in the wounds.
Mike was in rather poor physical shape at the time of his death, and he seems to have come back with all his limbs in the proper places. It would seem that Galasso’s resurrection scheme can repair serious physical damage to the subject; horrifying Christians by healing their precious stigmata would be child’s play.
So will the meek rule prior to or after the rule of the soggies?
“You’re not my real dad” with a smug expression. Day. Made!
I’m in agreement that Jesus couldn’t have just been the very quiet, almost whispering person we see him portrayed as. I mean, he had to be animated enough to inspire a crowd and even would’ve had a sense of humor.
BUT, I gotta say I disagree with him seeming so angry here. Doesn’t fit well, I don’t think. Not unless he really had something to be angry about. This isn’t one of those things.
He’s been resurrected against without his consent and presumably forced to work a job he doesn’t want as part of a marketing campaign that will monetize his fame. Wasn’t money-counters in the church one of the few things that got his blood boiling even in the bible? Seems like this is exactly the kind of thing that would get him angry.
The guy is used to doing his public speaking to large crowds without the benefit of a microphone. I doubt he has an indoor voice anymore, particularly when preaching. And in what realistic world do you threaten people with the end of the world in calm and level tones? You want to see what Jesus sounded like, there are fire and brimstone preachers today that would likely be a pretty close example.
One thing I’m very curious about is this “historical Jesus” stuff, and what it may mean as far as the plot goes. Is he going to be just a normal person, who is just a prophet / philosopher, or is will he be miracle-performing divine Jesus.
And I’m not suggesting I know which it will be. I dunno what Willis’ religious views are.
I would hope that “Historical Jesus” wouldn’t have anything to do with religious views.
Though I’m certainly interested in this too. I’ve got no idea what Jesus was like from a historical perspective so this is a real wildcard. Maybe I’ll laugh. Maybe I’ll learn something. Maybe the comments will explode with outraged Christians. Who knows? The sky is the limit! Except for the explosion thing. That’s totally gonna happen.
The actual historical Jesus was a wandering preacher touting some rather out-there ideas (both on a ‘be nice’ front and a ‘the end is near’ front). From a historical standpoint odds are highly probable that his ‘miracles’ are exaggerations, fish stories, hyperbole, or tall tales created by his followers after the fact; there’s no real reason to think that he was either doing stage magic or lying himself. (Though either of those is possible too.)
Of course, we *are* in a comic universe with aliens that give people superpowers, so anything goes.
“The Wanderer, more commonly known by the irreverent nickname, The Cheese, in reference to its Swiss cheese-like skin, and previously Evil Silhouette Guy when his identity was unknown, is an immensely powerful android created thousands of years ago by persons or lifeforms unknown. It is animated by the soul/residual lifeforce of any deceased being which possesses it.”
From the Walkypedia article on The Cheeze. Jesus created it and that’s where the raising the dead stories come from. This is entirely possible.
Am I the only one who thinks that Reagan and “Jesus” aren’t actually the figures we’re presented with? I think Reagan’s just nutters and this new guy might just be rolling with Galasso’s crazy. hell, I would! “Confucius? Yeah, sure I am. Confucius says you cray cray. Now get Confucius a pack of Marlboro. Red, Hundreds. Here’s a tenner.”
I think the odds of this are very, very, very low. Are you theorizing that the resurrected Mike is also a random guy standing in? With the martian superpowers and Robin and his parents recognizing him and everything? And this charade holding up for years? And if he could bring Mike back, why not everybody else?
Age? He might’ve resurrected someone who is dead and crazy.
And we don’t know how Mike came back. I doubt Galasso had anything to do with it since, well, why Mike?
This is Galasso – normal decision making rules dont apply.
Why not?
And if Galasso were going to hire a fake/crazy guy to be Jesus, he’d probably get one that was more like the Jesus everyone expects (tall, caucasian…) – or at least, one who was using the expected name.
Nope, this is the real deal. (Also what fake Reagan would be able to pull off those rippling republican supermuscles? That’s the real thing there, mate!) Galasso has the power to bring people back from the dead. “I want the perfect retail salesminion!” *poof* Mike appears. “I want the embodiment of the 80s!” *poof* Reagan. “I want somebody controversial!” *poof* He probably doesn’t even know what he’s going to get. One of these day’s he’s going to end the world by asking for a plate of sushi and getting Cthulhu.
Yeah, why would a wannabe world ruler ressurect a guy with super powers and combat experience to serve him?
I was sceptical of how this arc would go, and still am, somewhat, but I enjoyed this page. And the last panel was what did it for me: “You’re not my real dad.” Brilliant.
IS…IS GALASSO GOD? XD
That… actually fits pretty well, all things considered.
But Jesus says he isn’t, and he would know.
Unless he’s going by the “man that raised you not the man that sired you” school of thought just to be surly and teenager-like.
XD XD XD
Jesus is human after all.
It only just occurred to me that Galasso looks a lot like Putin.
You’re not my real DAB… POST CATHES FIRE! EVIL LAUGHTER ECHOES!
So what happens first?
-Mike trolls Jeshua (I call him what he wants to be called)
-Robin tries to make out with Jeshua
-Malaya bursts into flames at the sight of Jeshua
In that order and
-Mike ‘ill fail and Jeshua will in fact troll him
-Robin ‘ill do it, but Jeshua will then realized he’s gay.
-Malaya will, but Ultra Car will put out the fire leading to the OTP that Shortpacked! has in fact been secretly building towards from beginning – Ultra Car/Malaya!
You’re just saying that because you want something/everything to have sex with Ethan at some point.
That is not true!
I don’t want him to have sexy with women or children, just every reasonably attractive able bodied male…
On that subject, I’m trying to remember if Amber is the only straight character in the series.
Malaya was also confirmed straight in a recent strip. Also Jacob, Bison and Galasso. Can’t think of any others off the top of my head. No clue about Mike’s sexuality beyond “whatever you don’t want me to be.” No information about Faz or Ninja Rick’s orientation’s either.
(Going by on/offscreen kissing and the like, Malaya, Mike, Faz and Ninja Rick wouldn’t qualify, but then, neither would Amber.)
I think you need to understand the concept of sex to be straight OR gayg, and we’re still not sure how Galasso is on that.
Jesus – um I mean Jeshua – is now one of my favorite Shortpacked! characters – I also find him kinda cute for some reason – odd…
I know he probably won’t, but anyone kinda hoping he sticks around…
Anyway…
I’m mortified by the lack of controversy in the comments! Bring on the nutball religious types! I wanna read entertaining comments!
Come on – the problems with women in comic books gets brought up and we get controversy and arguments – Jesus is brought back and it’s just another day at Shortpacked!
and don’t give me that Shortpacked! is directed towards a far more “liberal”, “open-minded”, and nominally geeky people who are less likely to get offended by this! Since when has that stopped crazy people!
[sigh] Crazy comments are so fun too…
Oh well – in that case; as brought up before, can Ethan and him have sex? Maybe even date – Ethan’s been single far too long for someone as hot as he -
I mean did you know Ethan is gay – and his hair is greying? – in a totally hot way! It’s true…
EthanxJeshua – make it happen or I leave and never return (but not really)
Hold on… If Jesus was brought back… Doesn’t this make it his second coming… And doesnt that mean the end of days is approaching… And if Amber is preggers with Mike’s baby…
Damn! Amber is carrying the anti-Christ!
…which isn’t really a huge surprise but still…
Wait, isn’t what Jeshua is saying in panel 4 tantamount to admitting that he’s NOT the son of man, returned? I mean, he’s using the third person AND he’s using future tense.
The Gospels’ Jesus always referred to the Son of Man in third person and in future tense. Example: http://bible.cc/matthew/26-64.htm
As noted before, modern Hebrew uses the name “Yeshu”.
And the historical name is Yeshua (the Y -> J there is a common transformation in Hebrew biblical names going to English). It is distinct from (though close to) Joshua (originally Yehoshua; biblical figure, Yehoshua Bin Nun, Moses’ successor).
Also, he would have known Hebrew — at least well enough to read a lot of the Old Testament. That was common enough in those days in Palsestine (then named Judea — or, rather, Yehuda). The famous translations of the Old Testament to other languages are from the 2nd century AD, AFAIK.
is Jesus that short or is Galasso just that tall?
Both.
Love this strip totaly awesome.
Huh. SO Galasso is bigger than Jesus…
Blessed are the geek, for they shall inherit the Earth,
I so love the last panel with “you’re not my real dad.” Excellent.
Jesus didn’t preach asceticism. The one instance of him asking someone to leave his possessions (Mark 10:17-22) was because he sensed that he was overly attached to his belongings. Had he had more faith, he would have gladly obeyed and have become his follower.
Also, I’m curious where in the Bible you read that “The mighty would be slaves.” And yes, while it is true that the meek shall inherit the earth,(Psalm 37:11, Matthew 5:5) only 144000 would rule with Christ in heaven. (Revelation 7:4, 20:4,6).
It’s cool though that you knew the “Jeshua” thing.
Hebrew vowels (or lack thereof) can be fun!
It’s not just the one dude. All of Jesus’ disciples left their families and their jobs to follow Jesus around. Jesus and his disciples themselves were followed by a huge multitude of people who they had to feed because they’d left their homes and jobs as well. He told people more than once that if they wanted to follow him, they had to leave their life and their family and follow him right that moment. (For example, Luke 14:25-27.)
The “overly attached to his belongings” tact is a reading of the passage that’s more harmonious with a religion that can sustain itself more than a few years. At the time, the End was expected to be imminent, so it was okay to drop your job and your family and take off. Paul preached a similar message, as he expected an imminent End as well.
I’m not sure what Revelation has to do with what the historical Jesus said.
The book is Revelation to John from Jesus.
Anyone else notice that jesus has the same face structure and nose shape as galaso…
“You’re not my real dad.” is spot on! Galasso says he “brought you into the world”, but he only re-started Jeshua (Gesundheit!), did not create Jeshua.
If Galasso actually believes Jeshua will take orders from him, then he need a shrink, and a damn good one! Talk about delusional!