Who knew “Deliverer of nerdy Bible jokes” was a facet of Robin’s character yet to be unrevealed?
Pregnant tackling is all kinda bad as it is…
Whoah, Amber got bigger since the last time we saw her!
How long has it been since conception again?
Well seeing we learn she was pregnant on DOA’s anniversary. It’s been 7 months.
I have a feeling Amber’s going to have twins and then she just remember the promise that she have to give her 2nd born to her boss.
just like to point out that the last several times we’ve seen her was chest-up, not really showing the belly.
It’s one of Robin’s superpowers.
Also, Jesus is hot. I don’t know how I feel about this.
Apparently, beards are IN now. Wish they were IN in high school.
Beards have been in for a while now, since I started college I think, which was ten years ago.
Either that or high school is just silly about these things. Yeah, probably that.
Eh, just start shipping Jesus/Mike and get it over with.
The Alsan gravatar has never been more hilarious.
“Just what were you and Jesus up to when you disappeared together for forty days in the desert, huh?”
Actually, you tackled Jesus, Amber. If you tackled God, I don’t think you’re still alive.
Catch a preacher by the toe, if he hollers let him go…
Well actually if you go with trinitarian belief, Jesus is one of the three aspects of God. Hence, she tackled God.
Ironically, some biblical scholars actually believe when Jacob wrestled with God in Genesis 32:32: it was actually just an angel. Others believe that Jacob wrestled with Logos. Logos means word in Greek, and it is used to describe a preincarnate Jesus. These same scholars also believe that Logos was the lead visitor that appeared to Abraham in Genesis 18.
But at the least Amber didn’t steal her brother’s inheritance. Or did she? Faz may have been meant to tackle Jesus to gain a new name, Max Powers.
Some believe Jacob wrestled with Legos.
Although we know that in Shortpacked, Jacob wrestled with Roz, and sex addiction.
If Jacob wrestled with Legos, his name should have been changed to Jack!
Because, you know, Jack’s a Lego maniac.
Or was it zack?
It was Zack. I remember it clearly still. That was damn effective marketing by Lego that their commercials are one of my early childhood memories.
He’s got a case of LEGO Mania!
At first it was Zack*, then a toy called Zaks came out, so Zack was replaced with Jack in the “Lego Maniac” commercials.
* I am not sure how Zack was actually spelled.
Zack? As in the psycho maniac?
I am filled with pretend Euro-Rage at your use of “Legos” over the proper plural “Lego”! But I guess if it’s in the Bible, it must be true. (note: I am also filled with Atheist-Sarcasm)
I thought the proper plural was “Lego brand construction bricks.”
If you look at the original Hebrew (directly translated, ofcourse) you’ll notice that it never says who the man is, just that Jacob sent his family across the river to wrestle with some nameless man all night.
Dislocated a hip, touched the inner thigh, and something about a third leg.
Then, the next day, he changed his name and went back to his family.
My mommy says he was having a racy, homosexual affair. But no one believes us.
They mainly say that because, despite Jacob renaming the place Peniel (Genesis 32:30), which means “face of God”, you find that Exodus 33:20-23 and John 1:18 claim that no man can see or has seen the face of God.
It’s just an attempt to explain a biblical contradiction.
now I’m picturing angel luchadores.
It must be the Anti-Christ growing inside of her that is making her do this.
The spawn of Mike is the Anti-Christ? And what does that make Mike?
Satan I guess.
The Antichrist would tackle Jesus to protect him from Mike?
That’s what he wants you to think…
And where can you go after that?
I think Robin’s got the right idea…
The nerdy Bible jokes gene didn’t really wake up till she started lezzing it up with Leslie. It’s like a dormant biological response to quip at ‘The Book’.
Nice to see Jesus lightening up a bit. He looked so grouchy before.
And I kinda like the idea of Mike and Jesus getting along and having a civil conversation. Don’t ask me why, it just strikes me as hilarious.
Yeah, but I always envisioned a conversation like that taking place between adjacent crucifices.
Which one of them is singing “Always Look On The Bright Side of Life”?
Mike, to piss off the rest of the crucified.
Whichever looks most like Eric Idle.
The fact that this is the first time we’ve seen Amber’s baby bump in this story vaguely reminds me of in sitcoms when female characters are shot from angles to hide the actresses’ real-life pregnancies. Not that I think that’s what Willis was doing or anything, just something that stuck out to me.
Am I the only one who finds Robin’s comment all sorts of potentially-offensive?
If you’re the only one who doesn’t know what “Israel” means, then probably yes!
It might offend some people, but they’d be wrong to be offended. It refers to a man in the bible named Jacob, who wandered off one night and got into a wrestling match with god. After he ended up winning, he changed his name to Israel.
I really should continue reading the Old Testament.
Thankfully, anyone who would have cause to be offended by the misinterpretation of the joke wouldn’t be fooled by said misinterpretation. Jews is up on they Old T, yo.
Which book is that in? That story sounds like all kinds of awesome!
Way back in Genesis (32:22-32). This was right as Jacob was about to meet with his brother Esau, whom he had been on bad terms with the last time they met (largely Jacob’s fault, as he was a bit of an asshole, although Esau’s temper didn’t help). Jacob was scared to death that Esau would want revenge for all the crap Jacob pulled, so this may have been Jacob resisting God’s intent to put them in the same room again, but it all works out because in the next chapter it turns out Esau has long ago forgiven his brother.
Jacob didn’t actually win the fight with God; they fought to a standstill, and then God got serious and dislocated Jacob’s hip. That’s when Jacob asked for a blessing (read: “okay, okay, I’ll meet Esau! But please make sure he doesn’t kill me?”)
Really? I read that as Jacob winning because “the man” asked Jacob to let him go after they’d wrestled all day, and Jacob refused to unless the man blessed him first. The man blessed him, so Jacob finally let him go. Sounds like a win for Jacob to me.
I once wandered off into the night and got into a wrestling match with a waitress named “Dixie.” Interestingly I both won and lost at the same time.
What should I change my name to?
Thanks for the clarification. Having been raised exclusively on the warm-and-fuzzy bits of the New Testament, I was boggling somewhat at the idea of Jesus mixin’ it up with some guy called Israel.
Once you get past the begats, there’s all sorts of crazy fun stuff in Genesis.
Well, there are all sorts of crazy bits in the New Testament too. One of my favorites is the streaker at Jesus’ crucifixion (Mark 14:51-52).
I thought the young man with no clothes was when Jesus was captured by the authorities, not during the actual crucifixion.
Best Robin line in a long time! And she’s had so many great ones, too.
Lady balls is the best expression ever.
Am i the only one who hopes Joyce makes an appearance? I mean come on i don’t see her not showing up to meet Jesus!
I can’t recall seeing Joyce in Shortpacked!, though this is the Walkyverse… of course now someone’s gonna come along and prove me wrong with a link!
Lo, Crumplepunch responded, and it was a’ight.
To a much lesser extent
For the record, I really love what you’re doing with this, David – and I admire the hell out of your audacity for doing it. Thanks!
Is historical jesus the shortest of the Shortpacked characters?
Okay, totally on Amber’s side here. The point of the Historical!Jesus angle was given, up front, to piss people off to gain controversy.
I’m not going to bitch or praise about this being offensive or genius, that’s exactly what’s wanted. So I’m just going to say, flat out, that you’re better than this, David.
You know the big buzz around the Starfire/New 52 comic? That’s because you made a good, intelligent point. You put forward a great argument against something, and people responded.
This? This is just cheap. “Was Jesus the Messiah?” is one of the oldest and most important questions in global culture, and you’re not making a point, you’re just poking a grouchy bear.
Tl;dr : This storyline is an intellectual cheap shot.
I think I’ll wait until the storyline is over before I decide on that.
And pass on a prime opportunity to be the first in your neighborhood to judge and dismiss it? Well, to each their own, I guess.
As far as I was informed the whole “virgin birth” thing was another misinterpretion of the evangelists. Our Religion teacher once explained that back then virgin was a word for “low-born woman”.
Just as “Son of God” was a synonym for “Human” – like “Son of Man.
I am under the impression that “Son of Man” is a direct reference to prophecy. And the whole thing about Joseph being suspicious of Mary and Mary being visited by an angel kinda points toward virgin birth as we would understand it, too. The whole “don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife” thing.
Doesn’t the Bible once state that Joseph is Jesus’ father? Joseph was later said to be a descendant of David to “legitimate” Jesus as the Messiah as the Messia has to be a descendant of David.
Both Mary and Joseph were descendants of David. Matthew 1 is Joseph’s blood line while Luke 4 is Mary’s. Jesus then has the right of kingship in both Blood and Law.
Both geneologies are for Joseph, but since they contradict (even on the name of Joseph’s father), it was decided that one was actually for Mary.
Not nearly one of the oldest questions in global culture. It’s been asked by various people for only around two millennia. Others like “Is this a good place to put my penis?” have been around for hundreds of millenia.
I don’t know that we know enough about human cognitive evolution to say hundreds. But tens, sure.
“Is this a good place to put my penis?” has probably been around, in however limited a capacity, from the beginnings of sexual reproduction.
At least, from what I’ve seen.
And after all that time, so many people still get the answer wrong…
“This? This is just cheap. “Was Jesus the Messiah?” is one of the oldest and most important questions in global culture, and you’re not making a point, you’re just poking a grouchy bear.”
Global culture? What about the billions (yes, billions) of people who range between “Who’s that?” and “Oh that guy that the Americans make such a fuss over? I heard he likes pie or something.”? Are they not part of the globe you live on?
He said “one of the,” not “the.” Calm down.
Like it or not, Christianity is found all over the globe, on all populated continents (not sure about Antarctica, but I suspect some of the few folks there are Christians). About a quarter to a third of the world’s population is Christian, making it the largest religion in the world.
So yeah, global, as in “around the world”. It’s not a value judgment.
Meh. Enjoy it for the ride.
Those who get offended by this arc take themselves far too seriously.
I’m gonna guess Sp! won’t actually give us any answers to these “unasked millennia” of questions- in fact, it could very well be a running gag that Amber tackles Jesus every time he tried to answer a historical question.
Or maybe it will and David Willis is the Messiah, the Mahdi and the second coming all rolled into one. KNEEL BEFORE WILLIS, ASK HIM NOT WHAT HE’S “TALKIN’ ‘BOUT” OR HE WILL GO OT ON YOUR ASS!
Slow clap for the Israel line.
For anyone who didn’t get it, Israel is Hebrew for “wrestles with God,” and it was the name given to Jacob after he spent a night literally wrestling with an angel.
I’m kind of leery about this whole thing, mostly waiting for the arc to end, but…
That’s a pretty funny Bible pun. You should change your name to Raphael.
Okay, I got the Israel line, but I don’t get this. Exposit?
not sure of the story but this picture may make the joke a bit more clear
Well, to be fair, it’s either esoteric or just plain wrong, but in my (Catholic) translation of the Bible, when Raphael the archangel first shows up (in disguise) in the book of Tobit, he greets the morose Tobit with some kind of elaborate pun or a bit of Hebrew wordplay to cheer him up, making him pretty much the only guy in the Bible who intentionally told a joke.
The book of Tobit is basically an adventure story, and Raphael’s pretty cool in it.
Would the correct term for growing some lady balls be “Grow a pair of tits?”
Am I the only one who thinks Jeshua has a “Marshal Applewood” vibe in the first panel?
You’d think he would’ve seen that coming, honestly.
I be upset if the origin of Jesus is that a servant of Satan manipulated Midichlorians to create him.
Indeed, The [strike]Force[/strike] Lord moves in mysterious ways…
Wait didn’t Jacob wrestle with Megatron to become Israel… no wait…
No, but Hot Rod wrestled with Megatron to become “that guy who’s partially responsible for Optimus Prime’s death”.
It surprises me greatly that Robin is scholarly enough to make this reference.
The line “Grow some lady balls” is great.
Welp, if she had done that earlier, Mike might be the pregnant one. Tat wuld be a funi.
I wonder if it’s a sin to tackle the son of god? Also, if Jesus spent time with worst of humanity then what does that say about the cast of shortpacked? :O
I don’t recall him hanging out with rapists, murderers, or even politicians. I think that “worst of humanity” business is just people showing their prejudices against prostitutes and sick people.
Wow. Amber’s really staring to show!
Wow. Obscure Bible references. Nice.
I also like, “Either way, it pisses somebody off.” I like the fact that Mike doesn’t doubt or believe anything. He just wants to cause trouble.
I’m not sure how deep we’re supposed to look at this comic, but is there some kind of commentary here, suggesting that some religious people are so close-minded that they would even shut Jesus himself up if he contradicted what they believe?
Then again, maybe it’s just some fun random comic strip violence!
I think that’s exactly what they would do. Either that, or kill him for saying that he was Jesus Christ.
Every person in history who claimed to be the son of god, or the return of the son of god have been met with a heaping case of death. So clearly even though these people believe vehemently in what the Bible says, their brains are still ready to disbelieve anyone who actually says that he is the embodiment of god or the son of god.
Very thought provoking.
Oh come now. A lot of them met with heaping helpings of scorn, ridicule, and summary dismissal instead.
Is anyone else mildly alarmed that Willis is bringing Jesus back just before Easter? I mean, the April 6th comic could get a little rough, if there is any significance to the timing…
I think he’ll be a little confused but he’ll absolutely love the egg hunt and pass out in a candy induced coma for a few days
Robin knows her Bible!
Watching David Willis pretend he’s going to do something really offensive with this sequence of comics is amusing.
Watching everyone assume David Willis is going to do something really offensive with this sequence of comics is amusing.
I appreciate showing that putting someone of Faith in front of the absolute truth of their beliefs means they’ll probably opt to not know out of fear of anything they believe being wrong.
What’s faith without trust? If you feel compelled to be validated your faith couldn’t have been that strong to begin with.
If you’re afraid to have your beliefs confirmed, though, you have no trust, and your faith is demonstrably an illusion. A person with real faith would trust that the answers would be exactly what they expect and would not fear asking to have their beliefs confirmed.
Of course those types tend to get sort of psychologically disturbed if/when the reality fails to meet with their expectations and tend to plunge into denial at best, but that’s beside the point; a person with true faith would be without fear.
Honestly I’d be more offended if Willis had Jesus answer one way or another. As it stands Jesus is just kinda hangin’ out and waxing Biblical, so it’s cool.
I’m Jewish, incidentally, but I do think that whether or not he was God’s son, Jesus was a really cool dude. And I’m not saying he or the Bible is above ridicule (I own Life of Brian on DVD) but he shouldn’t be used just to stir controversy, that’s cheap.
I was a bit afraid Willis was going to use Jesus to soapbox, but then I remembered how far he’d come from the days of utter crap like “Tome of Ages”. Subtlety has never been Shortpacked!‘s greatest strength, but Willis’s been doing a great job with a balanced cast over in Dumbing of Age and I have faith it will carry over.
But, but, the whole reason he’s at the store is to stir up controversy! That’s plain as day in his first appearance!
In-universe, yes. Out-of-universe…well, probably also yes, but I think Willis is smart enough not to prioritize that over telling a good story.
WE DO NOT SPEAK OF THE TOME OF AGES.
What part of scripture talks about women and children in such a flattering way?
Jesus was all about the women and children. He preached about the Kingdom of God inverting society’s usual hierarchy, placing the wealthy and powerful at the bottom and the forgotten and discarded on the top. The powerlessness of children and women is not as terrible these days as it was back then, but Jeshua here probably hasn’t figured that out yet.
I didn’t really get that vibe myself; my impression that people were going to be re-ordered based on their level of pretentiousness/humility, but I saw nothing to lead me to think that for any given level of piety women were going to get a sudden massive leg up over the men. Though, it is the case that he didn’t seem to have anything against women either.
I suppose it would be too much to hope that Jeshua would become a permanent member of the Shorpacked! cast…
Dude, Robin is SO SPOT ON with the nerdy Bible jokes… and so are you! You actually KNOW that story??? I have devout Christian friends who don’t know that story!
wait why did Amber not want Mike to know? is it because he would call the virgin marry a ………you know what i mean……………
“Holy Crap”, heh.
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