By the way, the cast page is finally updated.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
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Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
What does he mean? He says those words all the time!
XD XD XD XD XD
Yes but now it is literal.
alot of the other times it was too, and it only cost him a nickle.
Pow!
And this time it’s gonna cost him a ring.
i wonder if he will punch a hole in a nickel and fashion a ring out of that.
you have just won at the internet
that is excellent
Nah, punch a hole in the nickle, yes, but make it into a necklace to bestow upon the spawn upon his/her birth. Just to remind the kid who his/her daddy is.
But never to a fetus before!
And his own child to boot.
I cannot stop laughing.
Reminds me of an old gag.
‘every day I used to walk past the butchers to school. He’d hang outta the door in front of all my friends and shout “Hey kid! I fuck your mom! I fuck your mom!” and I’d turn and shout back “Hi dad”.
Can’t for the life of me remember who it was.
But this time, FOR FREE!
Or after 5 easy payments of a nickel each!
Mike does his part for the economy.
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this isn’t going to be all that inexpensive for Mike.
It’s Mike. He’ll find a way to make it only cost a nickel
Who made the call?
Pretty sure that’s “everyone who’s ever read this or the previous webcomic, anytime Mike appeared”.
Ah, but how many people predicted it would happen before the kid’s birth?
me, i sooooooo called it two pages ago!
I see four future Gravatars RIGHT THERE.
Also, best proposal ever, but I’m not gonna try it.
We all saw that coming.
It didn’t make it any less funny.
Win. Just win.
On a side note, anyone else think Mike would make an excellent dunk tank clown?
I believe that someone in this forum? called it a few comics ago.
YES! JUST YES!
Robin’s face will be haunting me.
She looks like she’s removing a Robin Halloween mask. Underneath: Sidney Yus!
Whatever happened to Sidney, anyway? Wasn’t she supposed to use her newfound powers of legislation to make Shortpacked illegal, or something?
Sydney wanted to do that but she found out that she doesn’t have any legal ability to do what she was hoping for.
Why not? Robin had the power to legislate world peace, so we’re already inw acky senatorland.
And even if not, using real-world rules, it’d be pretty easy to abuse zoning laws, bribe some folks, and make Shortpacked unsustainable.
Because Sydney is a federal representative and closing down Shortpacked is a state matter.
Well, it isn’t the Senate, it is the House. Technically you are right. She could do something if she got creative. But with Sydney it may take a while for her to figure out what and how. It might take networking that she isn’t even capable of.
Sydney is still too busy cackling maniacally to execute her nefarious plan.
She could also divert funds into making a gigantic walker-robot with lasers, and attack the store that way.
Love Amber’s expression in the last panel. She clearly half expected this.
So:
Ethan is excited!
Robin is SQUEEEEEEEING
Leslie is so happy she’s in tears!
Malaya is thinking, “How heteronormative.”
We are assuming Malaya knows the word heteronormative?
She’s probably thinking it’s lame or something.
Fucking lame. It’s Malaya for crying out loud.
More like “Fucking babies”.
I enjoy the word heteronormative, it tends to trip people up when you use it.
Ow.
I’m so, so glad he said that.
Good call, whoever saw that! …well. I think that’s as close a proposal out of Normal Mike we can expect to get, at any rate.
And, oh, look, Malaya isn’t even smirking a little. Jeez. Mike may be a weirdly amusing jerk, but Malaya is just a jerk jerk.
Maybe Malaya’s jerk senses (being one herself) detected Mike’s imminent assholic response?? *shrugs*
Is it wrong I want to tackle Mike, hog-tie him, put him in my closet, and keep him as a special pet?
Nope. But you’re going to have to share with me!
What?! No! That’s twisted, you freak! How could you think o-! …wait… Mike is a guy? That’s okay then.
Beautiful.
Hah, I bet Mike’s always dreamed of the day he could say that to his kid (if he ever had one).
He… IS actually going to propose though, right?
That wasn’t close enough for Mike?
But… he says “I fucked your mom” to everyone! It doesn’t mean “I will marry your mom!”
“I will fuck your mom for the rest of her life” then? XD
Lil’ Warner on the cast page! Lil’ Warner on the cast page!
Also this is possibly my favorite comic forever.
OMG! That means they ARE getting married, cuz Amber’s got Mike’s last name!
I squee’d.
Of course not. This’ll all turn out to be a crazy dream of Ethan’s.
No0oOoOoOoOoOoo … don’t give him ideas.
They get a discount on Toys~! Good thing Amber got a promotion to help support the baby. With Mike’s former military vet benefits hopefully the prenatal care costs will be low. Now it’s time to save up and get a bigger place… for Ethans toys, not the baby. (LOL)
Also, I am the epitome of gladness over the quote on Mike’s cast page: “He’s got an embarrassing secret (he’s nice when he’s drunk), though, and Amber, after discovering it, extorted boyfriendship out of him to keep it that way. Just as he planned.”
Looks like Amber got it spot on the night she “released” him from the blackmail–no wonder he was scowling!
Now I have to go back and reread the entirety of their relationship to observe the implications of the fact that he planned it the entire time…
I lol’ed.
True story.
That is so Mike! I love it! XD
Awwww!
Also, I half-felt like this entire storyline was made for the sake of this punchline. And it’s beautiful.
I dislike Malaya more and more with every comic she’s in.
All Mike need now is to give Amber a wedding ring with a nickel design on it.
And his penis!
And…should we include the FAAAAAAACE! value that’d cost?
Makes sense, as she has already got him by the balls.
Or a wedding ring MADE of nickel?
At least in catholic weddings here, the groom gives the bride a set of “arras” (look like coins” symbolizing he will provide for her… Mike’s cold be Nickels XD
Love it!
Dammit Malaya, a F**KING baby is going to born! YOU B*TCH!
Psshaw, big deal. There are, like, millions of those born every day. >:|
Yeah, but this is a Mike baby, which is rare as hell.
…which is odd given how many moms he’s fucked
I’m hoping they have a girl, I don’t know why but I think it’d be sweet if Mike named his daughter after Dina ^^”
Yes, because every wife wants their first child named after their ex’s previous lover.
Arg dyslexed this! lover’s previous ex!
But who was with Dina before the Amber and Mike?
I actually got asked to name one of my kids after an ex. I can’t say I was too thrilled with it, and I sure as hell didn’t do it. All I could think was… what kind of loser would do that.
Of course, yes… Dina died badly, saving as many people as she could, and her science. But that’s no reason to hurt your wife and kids. Keep a picture, or the hat or something, and tell your family why you do it.
So does this mean Reagan is well and truly gone?
He finally re-died and is being reincarnated as Mike and Amber’s baby.
The new Reagan will be an even better Great Communicator. Because he’ll have learned at the feet of Mike!
And Amber will give birth with the power of PATRIOTISM!
You betcha!
The afterbirth will be adorned with stars and stripes.
Eh, who cares about Malaya.
Once again, Mike OWNS the comic. That is the take-away from this, ladies and gentlemen.
Man. This is so totally going to rock!
He fucked your mom, kid.
…And it DIDN’T EVEN COST HIM A NICKEL. >:(
/sniff. Beautiful. Just Beautiful.
Mike, I suggest a cement truck, that way you can run her over and then bury the evidence in concrete. >:D
I’m sick. Sniffly and coughing. And the fit of laughter the last panel brought out might just do me in.
But to die laughing is a good death.
Does this imply that Mike’s always wanted kids? That’s…sweet, in a Mike kind of way.
I think it just implies that he always wanted to fuck someone’s mom. And then tell that person he did so.
“with a truck” Mike never stops being awesome
Well, he had to one-up Sal’s violent thanking tactics… http://www.joyceandwalky.com/d/20030921.html
If only Zangief was here to see this.
Probably the only time Mike’s Mom-Fucking has actual proof it happened.
Awwww… how sweet! *lol*
Oh….THOSE words….
This made me laugh more than it should
CALLED IT!!
I laughed at that line, but it also makes it official. I feel sorry for that kid.
OH MIKE.
OH YOU.
I actually clapped when I read the last line. Bravo, Mike. Bravo.
Haha, I just love Robin.
I shouldn’t still find your mom jokes funny, but when Mike delivers them I do. I can’t explain it, I just do. He’s like the only time I’ve ever laughed at one.
Well disregarding that time Dr. Chase delivered his own. That Australian charm just drew me right into laughter.
but mom jokes are the best kind!
I’m sensing Family Guy joke. You know, when Brian’s on the door-step, his face beat on, and he stares off at Quagmire. “Hey you, I f–ked your dad.” Except, you know, reversed
I liked that one.
CALLED IT. I SO CALLED IT.
Haha, how witty, Mike. XD
Is it just me, or does anyone else think Mike is freaking terrified of being a dad? He was willing to carpet bomb his relationship with Amber because he loved her so much he didn’t want to hurt her. I bet that holds at least as true for a kid.
Who wouldn’t be terrified of parenthood, at least a little?
It’s a big deal.
Think the kid will inherit any of mike’s super strength?
Amber: “The baby’s kicking… he ruptured my spleen again.”
Mike: “Hey retard. Next time aim for her ovaries.”
Well, that’s one way of ensuring she won’t get pregnant again…costs less than having her tubes tied, I suppose.
I don’t think we have to worry about that if Mike’s orgasms didn’t already rupture her spleen.
…and things come full circle.
This is now my favorite Webcomic Strip ever, Willis.
wait, you mean just now it’s becoming your favorite webcomic? Not three years’ worth of strips back?
The first three years of strips feel very bad now!
They deserve it for being such filthy tarts!
See that Willis?
You are the top of the list now. How will you handle the pressure of maintaining such awesomeness?
Wait… Roz was here 2 strips ago. Clearly she has snuck off to go bang Jacob more…
And great expressions – from all present – continue! Though, I think I would’ve prefered seeing Roz’s than Malaya’s.
-airfox
Ooh, updated cast page! About time. Thank you, Willis.
I feel like I should make a more impactful comment considering the magnitude of today’s strip. Welp.
Wow these literal words will always live in infamy………for there child that is lol. I love this! What would have been better is if he said I fucked your mom for a nickel!
The look on Amber’s face makes me think that she is think “For fuck’s sake, enough with the bullshit already, just propose to me, DAMMIT!”
If the last strip was classic Robin, then this one is classic Mike. I love it.
Wow. That was trippy.
I DEMAND THE REACTION SHOTS!
Ethan, Leslie and Robin look like Malaya, and Malaya looks like Ethan, Leslie and Robin. That’s how I see it.
HA!
hahahaha to good
I already laughed my ass of yesterday after Robin’s “We made a baby!”.
This, dear gentlemen, is a crowning moment of funny.
WTF your name lol.
I’m a bad person, I saw the corner panel and immediately though Brady Bunch.
The perfect proposal
I Love you Mike, you fantastic bastard you!
The wedding ring is made of nickel.
…I’m the first one? Really? Okay then. Huh.
Dammit, thought I stopped this from posting.
See below.
The engagement ring is made of nickel.
…I’m the first one? Really? Okay then. Huh.
I added my reply above before scrolling down to see your post! Sorry for the duplication.
Saw that one coming. Still funniest comic I’ve seen this week!
In June of 2011, David “Walky” Willis was challenged to make the longest your mom joke in history. Little did the challenger realize that it had been in preparation since May 2009. This is the result.
the aristocrats!
HAH. Ok now that made me lol
Hmm didn’t she make a pact to give up one of her children for her new job?
Yup. 2nd born. That’s why some of use are hopping she’ll have twins!
Mu-wha, ha, ha, ha!
Ah, we’ve been waiting to hear this, and the delivery was worth the wait.
Lol.
I take back all my doubts, this made it all worth it
For the longest time i thought Mike was pointing offscreen; THEN i noticed he was pointing to Amber’s womb. Damn’d Willis.
father of the year!
I’m know I’m going to get jumped all over for this, but I’m a bit bothered by how happy Ethan is, in both this and the prior strip. It’s like the presence of baby! baby! baby! has completely wiped his own problems out of his mind, proving that they weren’t really all that important after all, and that he was just being briefly moody for no reason before this distraction made him forget it and brighten up.
Were I in Ethan’s situation, wracked with personal fear and loss, and I had walked in and been struck in the face with this scene of tears of joy and happy congratulations, I would have been unable to get in the swing of things and, after offering a false-sounding congratulation or two, beat a hasty retreat to my room to ponder the profound unfairness of life, with everybody else’s relationships going star-shapes while mine were going pear-shaped.
I understand your point, but in Ethan’s shoes I would be DELIGHTED to have something to focus on besides my own problems. Not so much an issue of denial, but because I deal with problems a lot better if I can buy myself a bit of mental distance sans brooding. Spend a few hours sharing my friends’ excitement instead of wallowing in sulk? Heck yes.
Not saying that’s what Ethan’s doing, but there are reasons for different reactions beyond just self-negation.
Not to mention the future prospect of more toys
Considering the way things were between ethan and amber, I’m pretty sure she’s family to him. And vice verse. Something like that probably takes far more precedence with him than his lil bitch tiff earlier.
Plus the kid(s?) were probably conceived in his bed, which only trailer parks this moment even more!
News like this would probably be a welcome distraction of a current problem to some.
CALLED IT!
I’m going to admit it now. I just don’t get Mike. Maybe I’m a Pollyanna with too much faith in humanity, but I don’t understand how someone can be a jerk just because. There’s got to be some reason in their socialization and psychology for them to be an asshole.
Also, I don’t think he’s funny. Can we go back to making fun of Batman and Transformers now.
I have a theory:
Amber and mike conceived while mike was just a little drunk, but not drunk enough to bring Drunk Mike into the fold. This will cause the child to be happier, leading Amber to realize what happened. Since Mike essentially has alcohol induced dissociative identity disorder, this means Amber had a child not with the man she loved, but with his good-twin. This drives a wedge between them, causing her to be wracked with guilt and their marriage to turn harsh and loveless, but Amber never leaves, due to guilt and love. She simply suffers in silence.
Mike’s plan goes perfectly. Robin goes insane over the drama tag.
Batman’s eyes narrow.
The end of your comment wins you 100,000 internet points. I almost spit out my pop laughing so hard
The only thing that would make it better is if instead of pointing at the womb he had a ring box with a nickel in it, and he added “for a nickel” to the end of his statement.
Okay, if anyone actually proposes this way, they get a million internet points.
How much is that in CDN$ ?
Will that be enough for a Timmies and a box of bits?
It comes out to about a nickel. So no, it’s only enough for your mom.
Deargodkillmenow
Mike dissing a fetus. WIN!
Wow Malaya, way to be a bitch and scowl when two people are kinda doing a marriage proposal. Is the love of two other people beneath you too?
Yeah, there’s absolutely no downside to a profoundly abusive asshole marrying his pregnant girlfriend. Only a monster wouldn’t be overjoyed by that prospect.
In fairness, I think we all know that’s not why Malaya is scowling. She’s just kind of a dick.
Normally I would agree with you, but knowing that Malaya is just being a jerk about it kinda makes your point rather moot. She’s not concerned one bit for Amber’s welfare, or the child’s.
AWESOME. I’d like to thank you for that line, Willis, but all I know how to say is DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!! (so that will have to do.)
Child: “Daddy, why haven’t you given me my allowance?”
Mike: “You still owe me a nickel.”
Wouldn’t he owe a nickel to the mom? O.o
Mike seems to be proud to be a dad regardless XD But still, he wouldn’t be Mike if he didn’t say it Mike style XD
I’ve been meaning to share this since I saw it last Friday. Guess today is as good a day as any:
http://www.ridelust.com/best-automotive-sticker-ever/
Brilliant, that last panel was absolutely brilliant, even if it was telegraphed so strongly it could be seen from the next galaxy over, this was absolutely brilliant. I have never laughed as long at a comic before. Hell, I even laughed again when I went back for a second look. Willis, you are now my mostest favourite comic author. Standing ovation for you sir.
Faz is an uncle.
and now mike will always have to thank robin for finaly getting him to propose to amber. and thus also mike can now never say i fucked your mom much any more since thanks to robin he made the phrase literal . those two will make an interesting married couple.
We all knew he was going to say that to the unborn child…
o: I’ll have to steal that “Thank them. With a truck.” line~! ; D*
*j/k, Please don’t kill me, Mr. Willis! Dx
I think I speak for all of us when I say “Saw this coming a mile away . . . . still laughed my ass off.”
Is it me, or are Amber’s boobs a little bigger? Y’know with the pregnancy hormones and all.
YES!! YES YES YES!!!
Also, would love to say that I just read the entire Walky and Joyce comic and finished it last night, so double awesome points for me!!
Eh, close enough. I can only imagine what the honeymoon is going to be like…
But it does.
Given the amount of strips Drew is in, I’m kinda surprised that he didn’t get a cast page when Ken and Roz did. This doesn’t bode well for their relationship. On the other hand Ethan’s specifically goes of out of its way to mention him, which is a good sign.
On the other hand, it’s easier to delete one line of someone else’s cast page than it is to delete an entire page if you plan on writing someone out of the comic.
I like Drew. I hope his current storyline is about them working out their differences instead of the end of their relationship and his subsequent departure from Shortpacked.
Or about them working out their incompatibility and staying in touch platonically.
That would also be an acceptable, if not preferable solution. Drew and Ethan worked very well together until just recently, and even now I think Drew’s problem was a lack of tact rather than being in the wrong.
25 years of mike and he will still say …
The engagement ring will be from a gumball machine…
…Amber will have to refund him 20 cents. (Because it should only cost a nickel…? Yeah… that pun is so horrible. I fail.)
Sidenote: WIN. Go Mike.
Strangely enough, babies are SO not babies…
My brain hurts.
wait…I thought we had a hole story line called “The one where Mike doesn’t fuck Amber’s mom”…
He’s not talking to Amber, he’s talking to their future child.
So for a long time he wanted to get a chick pregnant for the expressed purpose of telling the kid the he banged its mom?
I should try that sometimes.
MwahahahahahahahahahahahaHA XD
This is so babies.