Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
mike
ninja rick
nipple
optimus prime
politics
religion
robin desanto
ronald reagan
roz
sdcc
sg ravage
shattered glass
star wars
tni strips
transformers
transformers prime
ultra car
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
D’aaawwww
You said it
Even before looking at the comments, I knew the first one was gonna be a “D’aaawwww.”
Because seriously: d’aaawwww.
I was about to say the exact same thing!
Was going to be disappointed it if wasn’t.
Agreed. This is so Babies
YOU’RE Babies! This is too d’aaaaww to be Babies.
D’itto.
Seriously, I really think Ethan is still straight when it comes to Amber. It makes perfect sense that they could get married in an alternate universe (minus the strangeness of the two’s relationship in said future alternate universe). They really were in love with each other first, just afraid to admit it.
So… when two people are good friends to one another, you see that as romantic love?
Oh wait, I forgot, that’s how shipping works.
D’aawww That’s just adorable!
D’awwww.
I’m somewhere between really happy it all went well, moved by the cuteness of it, and disappointed that everything always goes perfectly for Amber.
Like her relationship with her father?
And being Faz’s half-sister. (And, unbeknownst to her thus far, Jacob having banged her mom.)
(MAN people hate when bad stuff doesn’t happen to Amber.)
Well, the former was more awkward funny, and the latter she doesn’t know.
I don’t even know what’s wrong with me. While I don’t like Amber, I don’t hate her. I’m just jealous, and think Amber drama would be really interesting, with her getting in a fight with someone or something, and I got all hyped up that there would be some.
Maybe…someday.
Even though they seem to have been functional, stable and reasonably happy for a while, I still feel like Amber and Mike are just one bad day away from an emotional nuclear meltdown.
Followed immediately after by an epic hate****.
Which is followed the next day by a date where they go Poisoning Pigeons in the Park.
And maybe they’ll do
in a squirrel or two
As they dance to the Masochism Tango!
XD
Her pulse will be quickenin’
with each drop of strychnine!
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
So maybe I’ll get my wish someday.
I just think it’d be interesting to see her meltdown and lose her temper.
You mean like that time she tore through the store telling everyone how horrible they were?
Or the time when she put Mike on his ass with a right hook?
Or the whole thing with her internet boyfriend.
Or the time everyone got fired.
Or the time she tried to keep Jacob from getting fired.
Point.
Basically before I read the comic.
There’s my problem.
So read the archives?
Read the archives.
Twice.
Let’s not forget about general emotional damage. I mean really, she’s so screwed up she can only maintain a functional relationship with Mike. Girl’s got problems.
She’s definitely damaged, I agree, but she’s friends with at least Leslie and Ethan, so I don’t know that’s 100% true.
Sorry, meant functional relationship within the romantic context.
Even that one could argue that she could maintain such a relationship with someone else. I’m not sure the claim that she could but chooses Mike speaks that much better of her though
Then there’s the fact that she’s dating MIKE.
She’s the assistant manager of a store that seems ready to burn down every other day.
Her friends have been chewing on the drama tag so much that she has to carefully structure schedules so they won’t murder her because she let them come to the store on the same day.
Father issues.
mother issues.
Faz issues.
Faz-is-related issues.
…you know, I’m having trouble thinking of things that unequivocally go well for Amber. Everything’s got a catch to it.
No offense, but when it comes to Amber, you’ve proven you can’t be reasoned with. But currently her own personal life is fine, as is her relationship with Mike. Maybe that’s because she’s good at handling it, but a part of me hopes for drama because I’m horrible and sees it never happening.
Nah, that was Malaya. And I swear I’ll be good!
Er, how is Jacob’s banging of Amber’s mom (or maybe Stacy’s banging of Jacob, since Jacob was fairly drunk at the time) considered to be “bad stuff that happened to Amber”? Both of them were consenting adults, for the most part, so I don’t see why it would even be any of Amber’s business, though I’m sure the drama tag will somehow force it to be so.
They were friends before then, and he was an option for a good relationship in case things ever went awry with Mike.
That’s all gone out the window now, because he refuses to talk to her. And because she might just be creeped out by the fact that he slept with her mother.
When you’re friends with someone, it’s generally common knowledge that sleeping with their family members isn’t kosher.
Well, even though she doesn’t know Jacob slept with her mom, she still lost a friend because he can’t face her now.
What about when she traveled all that way only to find her internet boyfriend was living with another woman? What a lucky coincidence! C’mon Willis, stop making Amber your golden girl.
Wasn’t that so long ago it’s before Amber’s transformation?
Nope, she went back a second time after her new look, and Meredith was still living there (and apparently manipulating Nate to make him less attractive to Amber).
In the comic. Father was before the comic.
I want Amber drama dangit. There. I said it. I think some Amber drama would be really interesting.
Um, the stuff with her father WAS in the comic. Amber’s entire life is not documented in Shortpacked!, but there have been numerous flashbacks and references to the way Amber’s father treated both her and her mother. There were two entire ARCS dedicated to it: the aforementioned flashback and the time Amber’s father came to the store in the present. So every detail of Amber’s 30-ish-year-long life hasn’t been documented; if you meet someone new and become acquaintances with them, just because you don’t know that, say, they were a bank robber in their mid-30′s, doesn’t mean they HAVEN’T been a bank robber.
Drama happens to Amber all the time.
Amber’s life is messed up more in a “real-life” way, not a “comic-book” way. Everybody here has their share of rela-life drama, but Amber’s not going to run for congress on a platform of funny hats, or become a talking car, or be the focus of a store-based apocalypse prophecy, or anythign else like that. She just has… life difficulties. And those are pretty depressing, to be honest.
So it’s nice to sere her catch a break, even if it means she’ll just have more stress in the future.
There are lots of people who will fight you on the “She’s not a talking car” thing.
As Robin has pointed out, we’ve never seen her and Spider-Car in the same place at the same time.
Yes we have. She opened the door so Spidercar could through the lead clock out of the store. ROBIN hasn’t seen them together though.
It could have been a robot double, like what Superman does all the time.
^This, exactly. Thank you, Ridureyu.
Just remember: from now on, any dysfunction in the store will now be her responsibility. Is that dramatic enough?
Amber likes her men like she likes her drinks: Drunk.
I like my women like I like my coffee:
Colombian and Bitter.
rm, that’s “overpriced and bitter.”
“Ground up & in the freezer”
No, that’s Green Lantern.
Dammit man, I had my mouth full!
Covered in BEES!
I like my women the way I like my books; thought-provocing and fictional.
Drunk and gay. Don’t forget gay. Cuz Mike’s thrown his sausage down a chocolate hallway or two.
If ya know what I mean… hint, hint
<————
…I’ve never had gay coffee. What’s it taste like?
It tastes FAAAAABULOUS. ;P
Thrown in a burlap sack and hauled down the moutain by Juan Valdez
Silent, hot, and in the kitchen when I wake up.
Awwwwww!
I can’t believe that Amber is forcing Ethan to dr…. oh, wait.
D’awwwwwww. I love the way they interact. Like actual friends
oooh, maybe she can bring him back to the hetero-side of the battle with boob-hug.
I don’t think that’s how it works.
No! Don’t take away the gay man! Never take away the gay man!
“Screw Dark of the Moon toys” is the most profound expression of love I think Ethan has ever made.
(No no, not sexual love, c’mon, it’s not always about that)
And he wakes up the next morning with a hangover and a COMPLETE SET of D.O.T.W. toys. Because you don’t catch the butterfly by chasing it…if you stand still, it might decide it wants to set on you.
D.O.T.M., I meant. Must be flying inverted. Anybody see my Inertial Navigation System anywhere?
Agreed. If he ever says “Screw Batman” (and doesn’t mean it literally), we’ll know he has been secretly replaced with Bizarro Ethan.
“Amber, me am so sad you aren’t Assistant Janitor. Let’s go get sober separately to mourn.”
And then he will start bitching about neon plastic Transformers and propose to Robin.
Awww, Ethan’s great.
You can really tell he’s getting laid.
i keep reading it as dark side of the moon, even though i know its not
“Which one’s Pink?”–”Have a Cigar”.
I’m so glad somebody else said it. I cannot read it as “Dark of the Moon.” My brain just inserts Side in there.
(If there were Dark Side of the Moon toys, I would totally by the hell out of them.)
I scrolled up and compared the comic to arjay2813′s comment four times before I saw your comment and figured out what was different. Yeah. Totally thought it was dark side of the moon.
…
It’s not Dark Side of the Moon!?
I’m glad I’m not the only one.
*Raises hand* Yeah- I never even noticed the lack of the word side. On the other hand- a giant transforming pig would be kind of cool.
My Homebrew “Commentary” On The Subject.
lol, I totally agree. Every time I read it I think “woah, what kind of toys would you make out of an album?”
idk, but i’d totally get one no matter what it is
Friendship is magic, y’all!
Or so the magical talking ponies would have me believe, anyway.
This comic, though, certainly supports that position. :3
Awww…they am friends.
It is a relief to have this moment, especially in a week ending strip.
but this was supposed to be a thursday strip. what are you hiding from us, willis?
Holy crap, this strip filled me immediately with fuzzies, and then secondarily with dread: there is no way this could be this easy.
Something’s about to happen, isn’t it Willis?
She’ll say “It’s really nice being assistant manager” just before getting interrupted by Robin and Malaya in a fistfight over Leslia, with Ninja Rick stabbing random customers (assisted by Linkara) and Mike kicking grannies and eating puppies, and Galasso finally putting on a Green Goblin uniform.
And then she’ll just shrug and go out for drinks with Ethan:-)
That. Would be. Face meltingly SCHWAY!
Followed by Ken walking into the middle of the whole donnybrook saying “why’s everybody going bonkers!? IT’S JUST A TOY STORE!” only to get a group-wide “SHUT UP, KEN!” thus breaking the “Street Fighter” running gag…
- a_o_t_8.
D’awwww
DAMN YOU, WILLIS!
This is why I like this comic and why I like Ethan. <3
No forms for boss-hugging, unless a sexual harassment suit is involved. Unless the forms Ethan was talking about were waiver forms…
So… basically I was right. Trying to get Ethan drunk first would have partially robbed him of his agency to feel what he wanted about the decision. Which in this case would have been stupid because he’s totally happy for her. I hope Amber stops diving for booze to solve all of her problems post-this.
Okay, Carrie Nation. We get it. Booze is evil, and Mike can solve all your problems.
Mike is Jesus.
It’s possible.
Nah. If anything, Mike banged Jesus’ mom. For a nickel. That he got from the money-changers at the temple.
Nickels were silver back then, right?
man, am I glad I didn’t have a drink in my mouth when I read that!
Wait, would that make Mike God?
…too…cute!
They’d have to file paperwork in triplicate. With at least 2 weeks’ notice.
Today’s comic gave me warm fuzzy feelings ♥
Okay, bro, I d’awwwwed IRL.
Awwwwwwww….
So cute.
I love you Willis!
I’m worried; Amber hits the ones she loves. Of course, she’s always shocked she could behave like that, and is HONESTLY sorry it happens… just like her father.
I don’t think her father was sorry.
This is my favorite strip in quite a while.
It’s hard to be disappointed that people think you’re petty when you’ve acted it a number of chapters in the past. However, Ethan has gotten a lot better from his bumper sticker days, and this is a really sweet comic.
D’awwww.
Nothing meriting a ‘Damn you Willis’ ? DAMN YOU WILLIS! For not having anything to damn about!
i think we’ll have a “damn you, willis” on monday, seeing as how he bumped this week’s strips back a day for the topical osama one on monday.
hmm, maybe that’s cause for a “damn you, willis”?
He’s been thrown out of synch; from now on there will be horrific cliffhangers every Monday.
on the bright side, we won’t have to wait as long now. then again, this is coming from a guy that mentally curses david each time it’s a MWF week. i’m horribly impatient…
Aaaaaaw! And Amber’s face in the fifth panel? B’daaaaaaaawww!
You know, this comic actually makes me dislike Amber a little less. It’s nice to see her thinking of others. Sure she did with Jacob, too, but after the blackmailing Mike incident that struck me as strangely out-of-character rather than her positive side on display. Unfair? Maybe but blackmailing Mike really turned me against her.
This is just nice, and reminds me of why I used to like the character. (I’m not going to say I like her again just yet – it took a while to hate her, so it’ll take a while to really like her again.)
What about when she realized what she was doing was screwed up and she started hating herself and released Mike from it? But it turned out he actually loved her which is why he went along with it in the first place?
I don’t know why people start hating characters so much. I can honestly say that I like every character in this comic, even the most annoying ones. I don’t think they have ever done anything out of character, either. Did you miss the part where Mike fucked Amber and Ethan on the same night and got them both to obsess over him?
It’s sorta Mike’s job to be as much as an asshole as possible.
For the same reason people hate other people in real life. They have character traits or do actions they don’t like. I mean I don’t like Amber for how she’s treated her friends, and continued treatment from when she rubbed it in Ethan’s face she was sleeping with Mike (I don’t care about the blackmail. It’s Mike.) because she reminds me of the two-faced friends I’ve had.
But…as of today, she seems to be outgrowing and moving on from on from that behavior, so I think she’s moving on from that.
I don’t see rubbing it in his face as two-faced. They were both pretty open about competing for him.
It’s nice to see characters grow up in a comic. Guess that fight I was expecting will have to wait for Robin and Malaya to get back on stage. (or Ninja Rick to stab Samurai Jack.)
Awwwwwwwwwwwww! I love when nice stuff happens to Amber shes such a cutie. I think its the glasses. I thought Velma on Scooby-Doo was cute also. You know when a woman takes her glasses of sllooowwly? KnowhutImean ‘ay?
Ethan really has come a long way.
Y’know, David, these are the strips I live for. I fully understand why we can’t get this type very often, but I’m glad SOMEone in comics understands that for every two steps back, fans deserve at least one step forward! It can’t always be “kill your darlings”.
This.
Yeah, this ain’t Funky Winkerbean.
FUNKY CANCERCANCER
INCEST!
Wait, you mean Funky Winkerbean’s cancer subplot isn’t supposed to be comic relief?
Awww…..
Dammit Willis stop being awesome. This is why I started reading your comics.
D’aww! Panel 4 Ethan is especially adorkable. ^_^
Though I do want to say, I’m glad that despite her initial hesitation, Amber finally confronted Ethan directly despite her hesitation, and it turned out okay.
” Amber, I kept a mad-man locked in a cage in the back of his own store for months instead of allowing him to fire us and close the store. I obviously can’t be trusted with power. “
“Hell, I’m lucky I’m not hiding in a corner in prison wearing improvised armor made from taped together magazines. “
Aaw so sweet. It’s nice to see moments away from the drama sometimes
Aaah! The super cute puppy eyes! It burns! It burns!
You know, I read Ethan’s dialogue and for some reason it makes he seem a LOT older than his is. “I can’t express how proud I am of you. Why, when we first met…” I dunno… he kinda sounds like a dad, more than a guy in his… how old is Ethan now that I think about it? 30′s?
Older than Batman by now. So, let’s see, assuming 1:1 aging ratio between comic and real time… 29 in 2007 (see here: http://www.shortpacked.com/2007/comic/book-5/06-flashbacked/thefirstmovie/)… I’m incredibly slow at maths… About 32-33? I think?
Ethan is 31. Batman seems to be about 40, these days.
Well, that’s one worry off his plate for another nine years.
40′s? I thought Batman was forever stuck in the mid 30′s holding pattern along the rest of the first generation Justice League Members.
Word of God was 39, during Morrison’s run on Batman.
Yeah, that seems like the necessary age for Bruce now that he’s on his fifth Robin. The third and fourth Robins are of college age, and the fifth is his ten-year-old son (who may be artificially aged, I can’t remember).
Honestly out of all the characters in all of Shortpacked, It’s Walky, Joyce and Walky, Roomies, and Dumbing of Age, Ethan is the one I strive to be like the most (well besides Jason).
I’m sure you would look great in a bow tie
An actual friendship moment in a Shortpacked? What is this, Questionable Content>/i> or something?
It’s funny, because she thinks assistant manager is an achievement. Seriously though, Galasso would’ve promoted a block of cheese if it asked nicely.
Ha!
OK. I’m going to ask because it looks like no one else did. Are those Tony dolls in the background? Also, great comic man. Still trying to catch all the way up.