Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
mike
ninja rick
nipple
optimus prime
politics
religion
robin desanto
ronald reagan
roz
sdcc
sg ravage
shattered glass
star wars
tni strips
transformers
transformers prime
ultra car
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
I call Hassan in the next comic!
HASSAN CHOP!
obscure looney toons reference…sir you have won at the internet tonight, congratulations
Loony Toons references are obscure now?
i was reffering to the comment not the comic, how many people actually remember the name of the dude in the arabian bugs bunny cartoon? i mean, i do, but my life is sad and unfulfilling….don’t know where i was going with this but now im sad
Do you mean Hakan?
Hassan.
Whichever lets me keep my street (fighter) cred!
…
Okay, it was going to be C.Viper, but I thought of the oil guy instead but don’t really remember but whatever
Look up Ali Baba Bunney and you will be enlightened or be shorter by a dozen inches or so …. and I am NOT splitting hares.
wow that metaphor actually works. That’s very good for Robin
Yeah, not so good for Vega in that it was actually a simile…
Isn’t a simile a kind of metaphor? A kind of metaphor with “like” or “as” in it?
It only helps that in real life lesbians DO get all of the cool toys!
They get the newest Transformers first?
They do, because toy store shipping geeks hope that if they are swept off their feet with the latest shipment of Transformers, the geeks will get to watch them make out.
Robin bout to kick some ass!
surprisingly astute of Robin to make that observation. for the love of God, will someone in SP!’ed ever remember his name? it’s like a not as bad Jamie from Daria, b/c at least 2 people outside of SP!’ed’s store remembers Ken
YEAH! how hard is it to remember the name E. Honda. its not that hard a name
You mean Seth.
You’re being insensitive guys. I mean, look at him he’s Asian and he has a Street Fighter name. Not that hard to remember: Yun. Or wait, shit was it Yang?
Lee.
AH of course! its Chun-li… no, wait… somethings not quite right about that one
It was Ryu. Wasn’t it?
C’mon guys, get Dudley’s name right.
It’s Akuma, remember it!
M. Bison
Amber knows his name, which makes her a perfect choice for assistant manager. No one else will remember his name EVER.
Poor poor Birdy.
That could be an advantage. More difficult to fire.
Speaking of obscure references, nice one!
Having recently finished a marathon run of the complete Daria series, I’m fairly sure that Daria, like Amber, always got Jamie’s name right. Not that anyone (even Jamie) seemed to notice.
No room for bisexuality? I understand Robin’s anger and completely emphathise with her, I’m just honestly curious.
So’s Malaya, apparently.
Touché.
Hopefully ;-p
Thing is, it’s totally in-character for Robin to decide she’s jumpped directly from straight to gay because she had a thing for a couple of women (Amber and Leslie that we know of so far). She’s also liked two guys that I can remember — Joe and Ethan — but once Robin gets a notion stuck in her head…
i think robin is more bi than lesbian.
So…cocks are impervious to harm? When threatened, cocks go “beep beep” and stick out their…? Nnnnever mind.
Thank you. I will never see a certain comic panel, featuring roasted road runner and a coyote saying, “Beep beep, my ass,” without dropping that comma from the quote now.
Funny, but until Robin started shouting, I never pictured her sounding like the actress that played Katy in Kick Ass. Now that’s stuck too.
I did a spittake while drinking gatorade reading that. XD
My keyboard and monitor though aren’t laughing and would like to have words with you.
This puts a whole new spin on a certain Jonathan Richman song…
That is a very accurate board game aisle you’ve drawn there.
I don’t think Robin gets to decide anymore who is “off-limits” to whom.
I look at Robin in that last panel, and I see a surgeon telling her nurses to provide her with the instruments she needs.
She’s a surgeon…of love!
…
For science?
I don’t get it. Is he Claw Balrog or Boxer Balrog?
lord of the rings balrog?
Robin:
So you’ve decided to take a stand about this latest development. Good for you! Decisive action looks much better on you than agonized paralysis. But you are going to war with a lack of information about the enemy. Use Ken, who appears hungry for someone to talk to about Malaya. Observe the situation. And try to determine which of these scenarios you face:
1) Malaya doesn’t care for Leslie and is only using her to spite you. If this is true, you’re pretty much hosed, because Malaya gave Les a big flirty smile before she was told anything about her relationship with you. Which means she must have known before she was told, which means that she’s engineered this entire situation– right down to being Ken’s unemployed roommate– just as a sting operation on you. Which would make her like Sydney Yus, only with the intelligence of Mike Warner. However, since you’re screwed in this situation no matter what you do, it’s best to make a Pascal’s wager that it isn’t the situation you face, and go to…
2) Malaya does care for Leslie, but only physically. This works out very well for you. Remember how Leslie reacted to Roz during her first visit? She generally HATES shallow manipulators, and is pretty good at picking them out even when no one else can. Roz did succeed in buying her affections once, but that seems to have been a short-lived interruption in her general distaste. On the other hand, Roz does like Les, and even if Les is too off-balance to smell a rat immediately, Roz isn’t. Takes one to know one, and all that.
3) Malaya does care for Leslie, romantically, but will continue to be spiteful and petty toward you. This is tougher, but might work for you. You’ll recall that even post-breakup, Leslie refused to tolerate one negative word spoken about you from Roz, let alone speak one herself. On the other hand, Les likes fighters– that’s one of the things she liked about you: she was happy to help when you got into a battle with Sarah Palin for fairly petty reasons. Basically, if it comes down to a fight, physical or otherwise, you’ve got to fight hard, yet make sure everyone can see you’re not the aggressor. Which brings us to…
4) Malaya does care for Leslie, and despite her contempt for you, will sincerely try to take the high road in your interactions, out of respect for Leslie. This is the second worst-case scenario after #1. All you can do here is play along, pray for an opportunity, and remind yourself on a daily basis that Leslie’s happiness is more important to you than your own now.
Assuming that’s true. Because if it isn’t, then it’s definitely time for you to move on.
I’m imagining you saying this in military officer uniform while standing in front of a board with battle plans.
I ended up with a football coach and a chalkboard.
I can’t see #4 being a possible scenario after her sticking her tongue out.
Right this minute, Malaya might believe that Leslie, though not wanting a confrontation herself, wouldn’t mind hearing about a little smackdown of her old abusive ex, or would even quietly approve. The question is how Malaya’d handle things after learning otherwise.
she wasnt abusive, she was hurtful once, huuuuuge difference.
You know that and I know that. But it’s about how MALAYA may see it.
5) Malaya has been in the closet and Leslie is the first open lesbian she’s met. She has made Leslie her role model and may be in a state of “mentor crush.” In this scenario, she could still be petty and spiteful, but that may mellow quickly depending on whether Leslie accepts her new role of Lesbian Rock of Gibraltar.
Oh hey yeah, this is good too.
In which case, Malaya’s best regarded as a potential ally…
Those are all good points, but this is Robin we’re talking about. I’m pretty sure she’s never done a single reasonable, logical, rational thing in her life.
Don’t you think “shallow manipulator” is a bit…harsh a judgment for Roz? I honestly don’t get the intense dislike a lot of people seem to harbor for her…
Roz strikes me as a shallow manipulator who is nevertheless a good person. She hasn’t intentionally harmed anyone, and seems to really care for both Robin and Leslie. Even Jacob, she thinks she’s helping. But she is frequently superficial and deceptive in her relations with others.
I suppose it depends on how large one’s definition of “manipulation” is. Is basic politeness “manipulation”? Is tact? Is buying someone a gift you know they’ll like? I don’t recall Roz ever saying something she didn’t mean (as far as we know, at least).
Leslie herself is polite and does things for other people that she knows they’ll like. To my mind, the distinction is that Roz always looks for the quick fix, always hurries along to press the most obvious button in her target. And with the glaring exception of Robin, she never opens up to anyone and isn’t really comfortable with others opening up around her.
It’s a fairly subtle distinction. And I don’t hate her at all. But Leslie really wants “authenticity” in the people she deals with. If Malaya doesn’t bring that to the table, she won’t last long.
You forgot 1A, “Malaya doesn’t care for Leslie, and is setting this up to tear it down and have an excuse to quit this job she never wanted.”
Couldn’t she just accidentally knock over a few displays? That seems like a lot of busywork just to be lazy.
It takes a lot of hard work to get to be this lazy.
We know it’s not completly 1 as Malaya shown an interest in Leslie the moment she saw her which was before she learned she and Robin broke up. So there was an instant attraction not related to spiting Robin. That’s just extra motivation after the fact. I’m thinking it’s ether 2 or 3.
You’re forgetting the possibility that I mentioned last week. Leslie may not be interested regardless of Malaya’s intentions.
The correct course of action here is for Robin to STOP AVOIDING Leslie and at least get some closure on their relationship if not find a way to begin making amends.
Robin was on what was essentially a bender, and while it was a particularly coherent and long term bender, it was a period of disrupted judgement. While that is no excuse, it does somewhat imply that what occurred was not her genuine desires, only superficial ones. I think Leslie could eventually get past that if Robin would stop acting like she really DID want to do those things.
at was a pretty interesting insight. Both to the situation at hand and possibly your own writing style for interaction.
Birdie’s just never going to get it about Malaya, is he?
*That’s SF1 White British Punk birdie, not SFA Mr. T Birdie.
The roadrunner is a dick huh? I KNEW IT!
It explains everything about the road runner cartoons acurately at that.
For sure!
Okay, the last panel had me in stitches. Thanks, Willis, I needed a laugh.
Damn. Robin is Pissed Off! Did not see this coming.
My favorite part of this strip is the tags, haha
The roadrunner would be actually be a vagina. You keep chasing it and then you realize you’re over a pit and you fall into the dicks.
Wait, it the pit you fall into a vagina in this metaphor?
If I’m understanding the metaphor, that would be true for a gay man, but Robin is speaking as a self-identified lesbian, about another (some variation on non-hetero) woman. She’s saying that they chase after men (because that’s what they think they’re supposed to do) until they realize that nothing about them is supporting that behavior.
M. Bison is in denial. Poor Guy. Maybe he’ll get some pity love from Robin.
COCKS
ya know, if *I* were guile id just sonic boom someone in the face. i hear thats a good way to get some damn respect round here
Not enjoying Robin here. Malaya’s still a bitch, but Robin is crossing lines. Leslie has moved on, she needs to deal.
Also, this is the first time I think that Robin has freaked out. She’s normally wired, weird, and wacky, but this is different, and a bit scary.
I agree. It’s become pretty hard to like Robyn ever since….well, a long time, actually. Everyone else has reasons for what they do, but her being ‘whacky funny lol!’ is more irritating than quaint or cute. She rarely if ever showed Leslie real affection, cheated on her, and now is pissy that someone else is moving in on ‘her’ girl? Ethan, you dodged a bullet with this one.
Normally her zaniness is fine, and she usually at least considers other people. She never cheated on Leslie, and after talking with Regan did treat Les with respect, in her own way. Today, though, she is thinking only about herself, and is catching others in the fallout.
I don’t know, she’s never been my favorite character and I went through the archives trying to find a time she was a decent person without being ‘zany OMG monkey cheese!’ Few times. I know every strip has to have the crazy person, but she’s just….blah. Anyway, I’m still amazed with everyone dating/sleeping with most everyone else in the store we haven’t had some baby drama as well.
There was no cheating. They were broken up already.
Someone has to remind Robin that apparently.
Maaannn, if my ex that I broke up with, who mind you immediately posted a sextape on youtube (which can be seen as spiteful or suggest that he’s been cheating behind my back) has suddenly started making claims about me still being “his girlfriend,” while telling possible future suitors to get off my back, he is going to be meeting the business end of a tazer/mace/.
Robin has got to stop digging her grave. I may not like her but even I worry about her a little.
Not the mace spray either. We’re talking medieval shit up in this bitch.
Of course she needs to be reminded, she’s the only one involved with absolutely no memory of the events.
Robin showed Leslie plenty of affection once she realized what she was looking for was right in front of her.
Leslie has moved on? Are we talking about the same Leslie that urged Amber to hire someone so she can avoid Robin in the workplace?
-airfox
Nice to see that Robin is both protective of Leslie and still posessed of her geeky sexual humor.
Hey, Cervantes, don’t let Robin treat you like that! You have the Soul Edge, use it!
Hasn’t this running gag stuck to Street Fighter names thus far?
For the most part, but there was also King of Fighters a strip or two ago, so throwing in Soul Edge/Soulcalibur for variety seemed okay.
BTW, I bought Epicurus a few months ago. I liked it and would liked more. Thought the portrayal of Alex was dead on, and Plato was coming off as too sympathetic (IMNSHO, the historical Plato was a jerk).
I am going to bypass my annoyance with Robin and go to how Ryu’s “girls are allowed to touch each other” line makes me terribly sad for him.
Gotta love the faces in this comic.
Poor Fei Long….I feel sorry for him
YOUR lesbian?! She belongs to the world!
COCKS!
Great dialogue! Great expressions, especially in panel 2. How is Balrog NOT a LotR reference? I just thought it was Robin’s idea of an insult.
Oh great, now I’m Captain America. At least it’s an upgrade from Krang, I suppose?
Because Balrog is also a Street Fighter reference (either the prettyboy Spaniard with the mask and claw, or the Mike Tyson knockoff boxer).
Seems to me that she’s inadvertently describing her own situation. She spent absolutely ages trying to “bang a dude.” So far as I remember, she’s never admitted/claimed she’s gay, maybe she’s about to have a realisation.
I do believe that’s what we’re seeing. Not so much inadvertantly describing her situation though. I’d hazard a guess that she is making the assumption that everyone comes out of the closet the way she does. A somewhat dangerous attitude, that.
Am I the only one that thought Robin was making a Tolkien reference?
in the context of the running street fighter joke, I don’t think it was a Tolkien reference no.
So she’s basically saying that in your pursuit of the ultimate meat stick you consume endless amounts of various phallic products made from once living beings until you, in a blind fury, finally get a hold the perfect one, but once your vision clears you realize it’s not meat at all, but a cucumber.
Meh, I’m already bored with this story line. Where’s Ultra Car?
The only flaw in that metaphor is that the coyote never stops chasing the Road Runner. So, does that mean lesbians never stop chasing after cock?
Only if they want bad things to happen to them (you know, like the coyote. Is he ever satisfied by his constant chasing of the road runner?)
Ken’s superpower is being immune to taking a clue. Incidentally, that’s also Robin’s weakness.
I actually think this is my favourite strip as of recently, there’s something to LOL about in every panel, and the punchline is neat-o.
Panel five made me think panel 3 should have said “YOU. SHALL. NOT. MAKE A PASS.”
Make that panel four and panel two. Counting not working today.
Ken’s not having a good day.
Just wait until he suddenly realizes that *he’s* gay.
I mean, if he wasn’t before, he certainly is now, or soon will be. I think Galasso has some device running in the store’s basement that turns anyone who spends any time there gay.
People seem to forget that this strip is set in San Francisco, so a greater than the national average number of alternative lifestylers is nothing unusual for the setting.
I can’t be the only one that was thinking “Best. Metaphor. For coming out of the closet. Ever.”
I shall now use this metaphor.
Also, Dudley needs to get some clues. 3 of them.
It’s the third time I’ve seen a roadrunner metaphor used this week.
It’s like buses*! You wait your whole life for one and then three arrive in one week.
*In the desert
Eh…fuck you, Robin.
This strip needs a “cocks” tag. Badly.
re: T Campbell’s analysis. All Robin really needs to do is decide what kind of ground she is on:
On dispersive ground, therefore, fight not. On facile ground, halt not. On contentious ground, attack not.
12. On open ground, do not try to block the enemy’s way. On the ground of intersecting highways, join hands with your allies.
13. On serious ground, gather in plunder. In difficult ground, keep steadily on the march.
14. On hemmed-in ground, resort to stratagem. On desperate ground, fight.
(I think Robin believes she is on desperate ground even when she isn’t, though.)
Also, position on the edge of forests on hilltops facing the opposing forces to prevent counterattack in the absence of a spotter.
Too obscure a reference?
Yes. Explain please?
And a synopsis of The Book of Five Rings.
“Hit with stick. Repeat as necessary.”
Followed by “lather, rinse, repeat… aaaalllllwaaayyysss repeeeat.”
It’s possible that T. Hawk was absolutely right about Malaya, and that Leslie is just cursed with only attracting otherwise straight girls.
So guys aren’t allowed to touch each other unless they’re gay. Quite the enlightened view there Ken… (Note sarcasm) And has Malaya ever said explicitly “This is my boyfriend” or has Ken only made the assumption that she dated guys because she had guys around her…?
Sadly, I’ve seen furry porn that isn’t too far from this metaphor. Imagine creatures whose heads, bodies, and/or limbs are genetalia, and have the power to turn other people into collections of anthropomorphized dingalings.
I assure you, whatever you’re imagining, the reality is probably worse.
Friend zone angst! OH NOES!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
That is a terrific mental image. Coyote chasing road runner and falling off a cliff turns into a woman’s self discovery. “Cockcockcockcockcockcock… *looks around* Oh, I’m gay. *drop*”