“I do not see cabbage patches on this chart…”
If Galasso’s a virgin, this will be hilarious.
Haha, though this does cut out the theory that it was aliens…..HOWEVER! Maybe Galasso was a failed experiment of the Head Alien years ago and was permanently mind wiped and re-programmed his memory to make him think he should have world domination, of toy stores that is.
This idea makes too much sense…
I would probably be surprised if Head Alien was involved with this, but totally expecting it at the same time.
and noone questions how a head alien knew about a “drama tag” in this specific toys tore?
Well, now we know
The Faz/Amber thing just gets creepier and creepier!
Very creepy, seeing as to how they’re related. Faz is just creepy PERIOD
Love Ethan’s expression in the last two panels. Dunno why.
He reminds me of a puppet in the last 2 panels.
He looks funny because he has no eye whites.
… and no nose.
And no nose, it is muppet-like
I thought more Lego man. I think Lego even has the exact same hairdo available.
Maybe they “brought out the puppets” to explain afterall. The real Ethan gave up after panel two, and is now in another aisle debating Beast Wars canon with a customer.
Pan out, and you’ll see that in the last two panels “Ethan” is a hand puppet being played by Robin. Why she has an Ethan puppet is best left to the imagination.
Conquest was probably adopted.
Lookit Galasso; you can tell he’s trying so hard to understand, but the gears just ain’t spinning. XD
The wheel is turning, but the hamster starved to death years ago.
Genius! I must figure out a way to work this into a conversation today!!
Loving this storyline.
Also, quick question, don’t know if this has been covered, but I remember that Willis has gone on record as stating that if It’s Walky! were an animated program, the Head Alien would be voiced by Jon Lovitz.
Has he ever specified who he’d want to do the voice for Galasso? Because I can’t help but read the comic and hear him as Clancy Brown (aka Lex Luthor from the DC AU).
Interesting. I thought he sounded like Kill Face from Frisky Dingo who has a psuedo English accent.
Really, David Warner? I don’t hear Galasso as nearly that old or British. I picture him with a deeper, quicker voice. I can’t think of an actor to match him with, though.
I don’t really think of David Warner as “old” or “British.” He’s just what Ra’s al Ghul sounds like. (Who IS old, but not British.)
Does…does Galasso have a Lazarus Pit?
Oh dear God, I can hear him my head talking as Galasso.
I personally think Ron Perlman, Specfically when he played Slade/Deathstroke in Teen Titans.
How about Raul Julia? Or nowadays, a good impersonator?
So, Doug Walker then? That’d be pretty funny, actually.
Oh wow! Though I would love to voice the head alien. Though I’d go for voicing the Cheese as well as Monkey Master and Walky.
Imagine the following in Galasso voice.
“I may have done this ‘sex’ act you describe some time ago. But that was a long time ago, and it was the last time I was, you call it, intoxicated, so I do not clearly remember it. Also, when I have achieved world domination, the factory that makes that evil drink, ‘Corona,’ will be demolished and its rubble will be used to pave the road to the palace of Galasso!
“The road will be called ‘Conquest Avenue.’”
The thought of Galasso hammered out of his mind frightens me to no end.
Given what else we’ve seen alcohol do in this universe, there’s a chance it would make him wise and modest.
Leslie grew an extra finger.
This storyline is just so wonderful
There hasn’t been a comic this week that hasn’t made me laugh out loud
Leslie’s either got an extra finger in panel four, or she somehow picked up a flesh-colored gun. I think you’re a little too used to drawing guns in your characters’ hands, hahaha.
I’m wondering if Conquest is a step-daughter or if mom was artificially inseminated cuz she too couldn’t get Galasso to understand ‘teh sex.’
I love how while all this is going on, in Dumbing Of Age Leslie is teaching a Gender Studies class. I almost hope it’s not on purpose.
I think Leslie is right. Faz is not much of a reliable source. Especially when it comes to sex.
On the upside, Faz is actually being producting in some fashion. Who’d have thought Faz could actually be used in a positive manner?
Actually, I think Faz has many uses in the field of sex education.
His picture probably appears on pamphlets for birth control around the Walkyverse.
and after using him for abstinence they have mike come up while a voice over says “and if you aren’t abstinent…you get this” and mike FALCON PUNCHes a human-shaped object (brick wall, punching bag, w/e)
Well I guess that throws the “Conquest being cloned in a lab” theory out the window.
So, this is officially my most favorite Shortpacked story EVER. For real.
Maybe he suffers from sexnesia. Where he blacks out and forgets the last hour if he ever has sex, thus erasing the knowledge of how to do it from his mind.
Galasso is obviously just screwing with them to see how far this will go. He’s probably filming them and planning to post it all to youtube.
i think HE gave Conquest to Galasso, which is how he still has NO idea what sex is
my working theory is that Conquest walked up to him and declared that she was his daughter and then he just rolled with it, knowing that he was a child at one point, but not knowing where he had come from and believing that children must just arrive in the mail when you are suitably old and wealthy enough.
Sigh- what is with all of these ridiculous theories! It doesn’t have to be something complicated like being cloned, or that he ‘forgot’; the most realistic theory I have seen involves his wife being artificially inseminated, but even that is still a little out there. Obviously, whoever bore Galasso’s daughter just had an affair, and used our one-day overlord’s sexual icompetency to decieve him as to the nature of human conception and birth (“The Stork delivered it!”). Really, this makes the most sense, and the most drama- shouldn’t this be the most likely case?
Oh god, Conquest is Amber’s (or Robin’s) sister.
What if Galasso wasn’t just repeating after Mike in the last strip?
What if he DID assume that position with your mom?
I sense some sort of plot-hole here, considering Galasso should be aware of this.
When trying to get Conquest pregnant, he complained out-loud “isn’t anyone willing to fill my child with his sperm!?”, implying that HE KNOWS how a girls get pregnant.
It’s possible for him to be “gender-blind”, but considering he knows that to get a baby “someone has to get filled with someone else’s sperm”, he should at least know a little about sex.
It’s a comic strip. Sometimes you just have to hand wave things.
He was just quoting Mike again.
He also didn’t understand that Robin could NOT make Conquest pregnant, so whether he has any idea that semen has something to do with babies does NOT mean much of anything.
I love Ethan’s face in the last two panels
In that photograph of Glasso’s original two employees that he started the store with way back when the female employee had same hairstyle as Conquest didnt she? Maybe Galasso got inebriated at a staff party and the female employee took advantage of him?
yes, becuase hairstyle is genetic. Makes perfect sense
Okay, Amber REALLY needs to tell Faz that they’re related. This is just getting creepier and creepier.
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