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Charts

by David Willis on March 24, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 01 - Daddy Issues

└ Tags: ethan, galasso, leslie

Discussion (61) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    March 24, 2011 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    “I do not see cabbage patches on this chart…”

    WELL HMM.

  2. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    March 24, 2011 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    If Galasso’s a virgin, this will be hilarious.

    • Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
      Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
      March 24, 2011 at 1:06 am | # | Reply

      Haha, though this does cut out the theory that it was aliens…..HOWEVER! Maybe Galasso was a failed experiment of the Head Alien years ago and was permanently mind wiped and re-programmed his memory to make him think he should have world domination, of toy stores that is.

      • Shadow Mask Prime
        Shadow Mask Prime
        March 24, 2011 at 7:47 am | # | Reply

        This idea makes too much sense…

        I would probably be surprised if Head Alien was involved with this, but totally expecting it at the same time.

        • wnderjif
          wnderjif
          March 24, 2011 at 2:52 pm | # | Reply

          and noone questions how a head alien knew about a “drama tag” in this specific toys tore?

          • Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
            Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
            March 25, 2011 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

            Good point.

          • Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
            Digidestined of Trust (Tim)
            January 24, 2013 at 1:00 pm | # | Reply

            Well, now we know

  3. Crash Platypus
    Crash Platypus
    March 24, 2011 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    HA!
    The Faz/Amber thing just gets creepier and creepier!

    • Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
      Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
      March 24, 2011 at 12:58 am | # | Reply

      Very creepy, seeing as to how they’re related. Faz is just creepy PERIOD

  4. Xartarin
    Xartarin
    March 24, 2011 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Love Ethan’s expression in the last two panels. Dunno why.

    • Dedlok
      Dedlok
      March 24, 2011 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

      He reminds me of a puppet in the last 2 panels. :D

      • blet
        blet
        March 24, 2011 at 12:42 am | # | Reply

        He looks funny because he has no eye whites.

        • Chris2fer
          Chris2fer
          March 24, 2011 at 7:26 am | # | Reply

          … and no nose.

        • Guy Incognito
          Guy Incognito
          March 24, 2011 at 8:06 am | # | Reply

          And no nose, it is muppet-like

          • DawnOfMinstrel
            DawnOfMinstrel
            March 24, 2011 at 8:50 am | # | Reply

            I thought more Lego man. I think Lego even has the exact same hairdo available.

          • Doctor Who
            Doctor Who
            March 24, 2011 at 9:22 am | # | Reply

            Maybe they “brought out the puppets” to explain afterall. The real Ethan gave up after panel two, and is now in another aisle debating Beast Wars canon with a customer.

            Pan out, and you’ll see that in the last two panels “Ethan” is a hand puppet being played by Robin. Why she has an Ethan puppet is best left to the imagination.

  5. Richard
    Richard
    March 24, 2011 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Conquest was probably adopted.

    • Amber
      Amber
      March 24, 2011 at 7:49 am | # | Reply

      Or kidnapped.

  6. alicemacher
    alicemacher
    March 24, 2011 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Lookit Galasso; you can tell he’s trying so hard to understand, but the gears just ain’t spinning. XD

    • AFP
      AFP
      March 24, 2011 at 5:27 am | # | Reply

      The wheel is turning, but the hamster starved to death years ago.

      • 3lizab3th
        3lizab3th
        March 24, 2011 at 8:08 am | # | Reply

        Genius! I must figure out a way to work this into a conversation today!!

  7. Lone Wolf
    Lone Wolf
    March 24, 2011 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

    Loving this storyline.

    Also, quick question, don’t know if this has been covered, but I remember that Willis has gone on record as stating that if It’s Walky! were an animated program, the Head Alien would be voiced by Jon Lovitz.

    Has he ever specified who he’d want to do the voice for Galasso? Because I can’t help but read the comic and hear him as Clancy Brown (aka Lex Luthor from the DC AU).

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      March 24, 2011 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

      David Warner.

      • Brasca1
        Brasca1
        March 24, 2011 at 12:49 am | # | Reply

        Interesting. I thought he sounded like Kill Face from Frisky Dingo who has a psuedo English accent.

      • Astro-L
        Astro-L
        March 24, 2011 at 1:11 am | # | Reply

        Really, David Warner? I don’t hear Galasso as nearly that old or British. I picture him with a deeper, quicker voice. I can’t think of an actor to match him with, though.

        • David Willis
          David Willis
          March 24, 2011 at 1:42 am | # | Reply

          I don’t really think of David Warner as “old” or “British.” He’s just what Ra’s al Ghul sounds like. (Who IS old, but not British.)

          • CJ
            CJ
            March 25, 2011 at 1:10 pm | # | Reply

            Does…does Galasso have a Lazarus Pit?

      • Lokitsu
        Lokitsu
        March 24, 2011 at 1:44 pm | # | Reply

        Oh dear God, I can hear him my head talking as Galasso.

    • Dedlok
      Dedlok
      March 24, 2011 at 12:27 am | # | Reply

      I personally think Ron Perlman, Specfically when he played Slade/Deathstroke in Teen Titans.

      • AFP
        AFP
        March 24, 2011 at 5:28 am | # | Reply

        How about Raul Julia? Or nowadays, a good impersonator?

        “OF COURSE!”

        • Doctor Who
          Doctor Who
          March 24, 2011 at 8:02 am | # | Reply

          So, Doug Walker then? That’d be pretty funny, actually.

    • Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
      Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
      March 24, 2011 at 1:02 am | # | Reply

      Oh wow! Though I would love to voice the head alien. Though I’d go for voicing the Cheese as well as Monkey Master and Walky.

  8. NF
    NF
    March 24, 2011 at 12:22 am | # | Reply

    Imagine the following in Galasso voice.

    “I may have done this ‘sex’ act you describe some time ago. But that was a long time ago, and it was the last time I was, you call it, intoxicated, so I do not clearly remember it. Also, when I have achieved world domination, the factory that makes that evil drink, ‘Corona,’ will be demolished and its rubble will be used to pave the road to the palace of Galasso!

    “The road will be called ‘Conquest Avenue.’”

    • Zap
      Zap
      March 24, 2011 at 12:33 am | # | Reply

      The thought of Galasso hammered out of his mind frightens me to no end.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        March 24, 2011 at 10:53 am | # | Reply

        Given what else we’ve seen alcohol do in this universe, there’s a chance it would make him wise and modest.

  9. Lackwit
    Lackwit
    March 24, 2011 at 2:27 am | # | Reply

    Leslie grew an extra finger.

  10. tmoney
    tmoney
    March 24, 2011 at 2:46 am | # | Reply

    This storyline is just so wonderful
    There hasn’t been a comic this week that hasn’t made me laugh out loud

  11. Chazzie
    Chazzie
    March 24, 2011 at 5:39 am | # | Reply

    Leslie’s either got an extra finger in panel four, or she somehow picked up a flesh-colored gun. :P I think you’re a little too used to drawing guns in your characters’ hands, hahaha.

  12. Noel Schornhorst
    Noel Schornhorst
    March 24, 2011 at 6:47 am | # | Reply

    I’m wondering if Conquest is a step-daughter or if mom was artificially inseminated cuz she too couldn’t get Galasso to understand ‘teh sex.’

  13. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    March 24, 2011 at 7:13 am | # | Reply

    I love how while all this is going on, in Dumbing Of Age Leslie is teaching a Gender Studies class. I almost hope it’s not on purpose.

  14. Kelsey
    Kelsey
    March 24, 2011 at 7:49 am | # | Reply

    I think Leslie is right. Faz is not much of a reliable source. Especially when it comes to sex.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      March 24, 2011 at 8:49 am | # | Reply

      On the upside, Faz is actually being producting in some fashion. Who’d have thought Faz could actually be used in a positive manner?

      • Doctor Who
        Doctor Who
        March 24, 2011 at 9:25 am | # | Reply

        Actually, I think Faz has many uses in the field of sex education.

        His picture probably appears on pamphlets for birth control around the Walkyverse.

        • arjay2813
          arjay2813
          March 24, 2011 at 2:26 pm | # | Reply

          and after using him for abstinence they have mike come up while a voice over says “and if you aren’t abstinent…you get this” and mike FALCON PUNCHes a human-shaped object (brick wall, punching bag, w/e)

  15. XLR
    XLR
    March 24, 2011 at 8:53 am | # | Reply

    Well I guess that throws the “Conquest being cloned in a lab” theory out the window.

  16. Kirt Dankmyer
    Kirt Dankmyer
    March 24, 2011 at 10:03 am | # | Reply

    So, this is officially my most favorite Shortpacked story EVER. For real. :)

  17. Matt of Steel
    Matt of Steel
    March 24, 2011 at 11:02 am | # | Reply

    Maybe he suffers from sexnesia. Where he blacks out and forgets the last hour if he ever has sex, thus erasing the knowledge of how to do it from his mind.

  18. palaeomerus
    palaeomerus
    March 24, 2011 at 11:17 am | # | Reply

    Galasso is obviously just screwing with them to see how far this will go. He’s probably filming them and planning to post it all to youtube.

  19. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    March 24, 2011 at 2:44 pm | # | Reply

    i think HE gave Conquest to Galasso, which is how he still has NO idea what sex is

  20. Kitsuki Noriyuki
    Kitsuki Noriyuki
    March 24, 2011 at 5:30 pm | # | Reply

    my working theory is that Conquest walked up to him and declared that she was his daughter and then he just rolled with it, knowing that he was a child at one point, but not knowing where he had come from and believing that children must just arrive in the mail when you are suitably old and wealthy enough.

  21. Ωmega
    Ωmega
    March 24, 2011 at 5:51 pm | # | Reply

    Sigh- what is with all of these ridiculous theories! It doesn’t have to be something complicated like being cloned, or that he ‘forgot’; the most realistic theory I have seen involves his wife being artificially inseminated, but even that is still a little out there. Obviously, whoever bore Galasso’s daughter just had an affair, and used our one-day overlord’s sexual icompetency to decieve him as to the nature of human conception and birth (“The Stork delivered it!”). Really, this makes the most sense, and the most drama- shouldn’t this be the most likely case?

    • DEG
      DEG
      March 24, 2011 at 11:31 pm | # | Reply

      Oh god, Conquest is Amber’s (or Robin’s) sister.

  22. Bryan
    Bryan
    March 24, 2011 at 7:03 pm | # | Reply

    What if Galasso wasn’t just repeating after Mike in the last strip?

    What if he DID assume that position with your mom?

  23. NerdAtComputer
    NerdAtComputer
    March 24, 2011 at 8:22 pm | # | Reply

    I sense some sort of plot-hole here, considering Galasso should be aware of this.

    When trying to get Conquest pregnant, he complained out-loud “isn’t anyone willing to fill my child with his sperm!?”, implying that HE KNOWS how a girls get pregnant.

    It’s possible for him to be “gender-blind”, but considering he knows that to get a baby “someone has to get filled with someone else’s sperm”, he should at least know a little about sex.

    • penguintruth
      penguintruth
      March 24, 2011 at 8:37 pm | # | Reply

      It’s a comic strip. Sometimes you just have to hand wave things.

    • Underfoot
      Underfoot
      March 24, 2011 at 8:49 pm | # | Reply

      He was just quoting Mike again.

    • Elle
      Elle
      March 25, 2011 at 9:17 am | # | Reply

      He also didn’t understand that Robin could NOT make Conquest pregnant, so whether he has any idea that semen has something to do with babies does NOT mean much of anything.

  24. BlueMario
    BlueMario
    December 15, 2011 at 3:43 pm | # | Reply

    I love Ethan’s face in the last two panels

  25. merlanthe
    merlanthe
    January 1, 2012 at 10:46 pm | # | Reply

    In that photograph of Glasso’s original two employees that he started the store with way back when the female employee had same hairstyle as Conquest didnt she? Maybe Galasso got inebriated at a staff party and the female employee took advantage of him?

    • TARDIS With A Hat
      TARDIS With A Hat
      June 2, 2012 at 10:29 am | # | Reply

      yes, becuase hairstyle is genetic. Makes perfect sense

  26. Chris
    Chris
    May 8, 2012 at 6:42 pm | # | Reply

    Okay, Amber REALLY needs to tell Faz that they’re related. This is just getting creepier and creepier.

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