Panel two back-flashes to this ancient strip.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
ONE LINE TO CHANGE THEM ALL
Oh man i was wondering when the drama tag was going to be mentioned again
Hey, I’m not even a lesbian and I’d stick around for Robin’s pert jugs.
I am 100% lesbian and I would definitely stay around for Robin’s pert jugs.
Robin needs a better shirt to show off them pert jugs.
Aw man, I’m so disapointed you didn’t get the Krang avatar, that would have been hilarious.
I wish I was a lesbian. Then I too could stick around for Robin’s pert jugs.
Pert jugs that seem smaller and pointier these days.
Got NUTHIN on Kim Possible.
Mike, you sill,y angry man.
Rip Hunter’s chalkboard?
I’m so glad I wasn;t the only one who thought of that when they saw it.
You mean Glenn Beck.
No, it’s too sane to be his.
Can’t be. Everything’s spelled correctly.
Hilarious!!! (and a great call to boot!)
It’s the HA!
What voice did you always write him with in mind, Walky? For some reason I can hear Charlie Adler’s awesome Cobra Commander voice coming out of him in that flashback there. (Though he clearly hadn’t voiced CC when you wrote that)
So is HA II dead? Or is it the original? I haven’t read the subscription strips.
The Head Alien is voiced by Jon Lovitz.
Ah. Still, I’m very impressed at just how well you’ve played into that line.
Good choice, although I’ve been thinking of Harvey Korman since the “THAT’S HEDLEY!”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoM-ZC7uNnc
If that’s true, how come he’s never done Lovitz’s trademark ‘throat clear’ sound?
Funny, I’ve always heard the voice of Duck Vader from the Tiny Toons Star Wars episode.
Oh man, I have to re-read a decade of strips now.
In my head he sounded like a robot, since he was an alien and wearing a containment suit. I figured he spoke what ever language the aliens speak and a computer translated it into english for him.
I always thought Cobra Commander myself. Or Starscream with a distorted voice. Either way.
She’s breaking.
And I forgot all about that.
But…isn’t that an Octogon?
That’s even worse than a love pentagon
You can tell from where she crossed them out that it was a Pentagon, then a Hexagon, and now an Octagon.
It grows.
It consumes.
It evolves.
So it looks like Mike’s known about the pulling of the drama tag and Robin’s record of everything this whole time?
I don’t see how you got that from this?
Mike knows about whatever it’s funny for him to know about.
Mike knows whatever you don’t want him to know.
Mike knows about what you don’t want to know anyways.
Mike KNOWS. Mike always knows.
Mike knows your mom.
Rectally
!
SOGGIES MAY RULE!!!
How does he know? HOW DOES HE KNOW?!
It’s Mike’s business to know stuff like this. That and how to have sex with moms.
So you’re saying Amber’s pregnant?
No.
But your mom is pregnant.
Because I just f***ed her.
I only had a dime on me.
She made change.
Nice try, but Mike would actually type out “fuck”, unless of course it hurt us more to not have it typed out.
Also, my first response to this strip was “YyyyyyES!”
Not just moms. Whoever will create the most drama… wait… his sex causes drama… OH MY GOD, MIKE CREATED THE DRAMA TAG! BY HAVING SEX WITH A NORMAL TAG!
I’m assuming it’s because they’re neighbours. Roz looks like a screamer.
aaaaaand that didn’t even make sense. NTS: read the comic. Then understand it.
Is it just me, or does Mike look ANGRY in a way he doesn’t normally look in that last panel? Usually its his general treatment of people. It looks turned up for JacobXAmber
That’s definitely true. Is he pissed about Jacob liking Amber? Or that Jacob got to Amber’s mother before he did? XD Could be both, Mike being Mike, I guess.
What does it say at the bottom right of the board, under the Drama Tag?
It looks like its The Axis Of Something. Is that what its called? I think so.
I was about to answer that but Willis totally ninja’d me when I was clicking on the ‘reply’ button. Well played Willis.
Wait, where did he go? My god, he truly is a ninja!
Mike looks so grim in that last panel. Like he knew all along that this would happen. Maybe he created the Drama Tag?
Maybe that’s the entire reason he came back to life.
I personally think he came back to life because he willed himself to.
That last panel makes the whole strip.
Lol.
Excellent.
Tune in next week when the polls close–on DeSanto’s political career? Only Willis knows!
And Thus Robin dies…
Funny part is, I just read the strip this one flashes back to like yesterday!
Wait, what, Joyce likes both Amber and Ethan? I… don’t remember that.
That’s Robin, not Joyce. :]
Joyce? do you mean Robin?
Joyce? I guess you mean Robin. She’s liked Ethan pretty much since the start of the strip, and revealed (to the readers only) that she likes Amber here: http://www.shortpacked.com/2009/comic/book-9/01-fired/amber/
you silly. she obviously said wonder woman despite the strong hint at Amber. pfft, you and your logic.
Leave it to Mike to get Robin’s Heroic BSOD in full swing.
I approve.
So if the Chart is correct, Amber is at the center of the Shortpacked! universe…
She does appear to be the lynch-pin.
Amber has more arrows pointing to her by the last panel than anyone else. Her raw sex appeal will be the power source for the coming Drama Apocalypse!
(yay!)
At least Robin’s truthful with her arrows. It’s all very accurate, showing the crush Amber had on Ethan, the crush Ethan had on Mike, and the crush Robin had on both of them.
My god. Do you know what this means?
Checkmate…
I’m Batman.
And what combination of numbers do you have to type in to keep this universe from imploding?
Mike looks ready to cut a bitch.
WE NEED RONNIE IN THIS DARK HOUR
I don’t think even voodoo economics could fix that entanglement.
Just noticed that Roz has devil horns.
Random FYI I am being amber for Halloween. This year a bunch of my friends are going as web comics characters. So I picked amber! Just thought you would like to know that.
You know we WILL require pics, right?
Oh dang. Mike is one seriously upset sexy dude.
….I could not stop laughing at how Mike screws Robin over in that panel. NEED OXYGEN
I realize it’s just a flashback to an event we already saw and not anything new, but still, I squee everytime any version of the Head Alien makes an appearance. He’s just so awesome. Man, I would kill to get a statue of him eventually.
Is Robin going to sell her relationship to the Short-Packed to the devil so she can have everything back the way it was? Hey it worked for Spider-man. Or at least Marvel editors would have us believe that it worked.
That would ruin SP in the same way Spider-Man was ruined – removing the best element in the comic.
To be fair, it was a pentagon from either the day Faz/Leslie came into the picture, or the day Mike slept with Amber and Ethan. Whichever was first; I don’t remember, but I can sleep soundly knowing I’ve created the worst ship ever.
WAIT. I get how he puts together that Jacob probably loves Amber.
How the HELL did he find out about Roz boinking Jacob… that happened same day, didn’t it? They were in the store all afternoon, Roz snuck off during their meeting!
Aside from figuring ‘oh hey, Roz vanished after we said Jacob’s a sex addict’… but he can’t officially KNOW, can he?
Technically Mike didn’t figure it out. Robin did, since it’s her chalkboard.
But either way… Its Mike. He knows everything.
Mike KNOWS. Mike always knows. Mike for Presidente’! Mike for KING!
It’s common knowledge Roz was attracted to Jacob (notice Jacob doesn’t return the favor on the board). Robin probably doesn’t know they slept together. In fact, if arrows mean sleeping together, I sort of doubt Jacob will be sane much longer, if Mike has anything to do with it.
How was it common knowledge? Aside from Conquest and maybe Glassco (One doesn’t interact with the group anymore and the other doesn’t care), no one has seen them really interacting.
She said so in front of Robin and Amber.
Granted, Leslie, Ethan, Faz, Mike, and Ninja Rick are only in on the whole thing of one of those two (or Connie, or Galasso) told them, so ‘common knowledge’ is stretching it, but Robin knows.
MikexAmber forever!!
If he’s actually mad about Jacob liking Amber, I’m going to squee with fangirlish joy.
Oh snap, the char developments!
I dunno… I really doubt he’ll be mad. That would just seem so out of character for Mike to be mad about anything on a deep personal emotional level.
EXACTLY.
I second this notion. Besides, even if he does love Amber (whatever that means for him) he knows Amber doesn’t like Jacob to begin with.
I’d like to think Willis actually *has* such a chalkboard with his twisted plot upon it,
Whiteboards man, they’re the way to go. The way… of the FUTURE
Oh Mike, you’re my hero of brain-fucks.
I’m surprised that Robin knew of Roz and Jacob hooking up or that Roz was even attracted to Jacob. You know… what with Jacob being MIA for a while now, and Roz probably not mentioning “I’m off to boink the sex addict”.
Every strip for the next month could end with Robin making that face and I’d still probably laugh at it.
That’s too easy. Continue a running gag long enough, and it’s [i]always[/i] worth a laugh.
Although to make it work right, you’d have to make at least one of the scenarios she blanks out at something extremely minor…
I was confused about how Robin knew about Roz and Jacob until I noticed that the arrow only goes one way. She only knows that she had to pry Roz away from him one time. More secrets!
You mean we get to see her make that face at least one more time?
Looking at it again, they already were connected to the group via a character Robin left out of the picture; Conquest.
Mike and Robin — defenders of sane insanity. Now with 20% more BSOD.
Technically, that’s an octagon. I’m just saying.
Robin knows that, see the writing/scribbles on the left of the board.
Goddamnit, Willis! Don’t make me pull out my old diagram!
Willis likes his love polygons to be more complicated than , but less complicated than
Bleh, stupid tags!
more complicated than Jeph Jacques: (http://questionablecontent.net./view.php?comic=1090), less complicated than R Stevens (so far): (http://www.dieselsweeties.com/blog/?p=365)
Still doesn’t beat BSG’s one;
http://www.battlestargalactica-wiki.com/page/Battlestar+Galactica+Frakmap
I am starting to think that Mike, and Walky, should have been the Cheese; I mean, he already knows everything already.
and NOT Walky
Yeeeeeeees!
Mike cold heartedly showing us that he’s known all along.
You don’t get it do you, he always knows.
(By the way has their ever been a discussion on Mike having empathy as his unique abductee power? The fact that people suck might be why he hates them so much.)
I would hate everyone too if I could read their emotions anybetter then I already can, however is at least as much of a jerk in DoA as he is here so I think his evilness is just Mike’s personality…
Although it would be really funny if he turned out to be only mean when drunk on DoA… but if thats the case he is drunk alot according to his Twitter…
Why is there an arrow from Robin to Leslie but no arrow from Leslie to Robin?
Never mind. I just saw the arrow tip on the other end.
Mike is there…with chalk!!!!
This CAN’T be good
Notice the Ninja Rick to Faz. I lol’d
A ninja cannot sheath his sword until it has tasted blood.
It actually happened fairly early in Faz’s time at the store.
Anyone else think the full image of the Love Octagon would make for a nice limited print?
Yes.!
Last panel:
(sound only dogs can hear)
You should have written right in the middle of the chalkboard in all caps, “TIDES”…
Thank you, Mike. That will do nicely.
I’m running on the theory that Mike didn’t know about Jacob’s feelings for Amber. He knows that Amber has no feelings for Jacob. But given that the thing that would break Robin right now is some connection from Jacob/Roz to the group at large he draws in a line. The last panel is him looking at his work and realizing that it’s not so far fetched after all.
Except that’s not really how Mike works – Mike destroys people by pushing their buttons with deadly accuracy, usually by pointing out things that they either should have noticed already, or that they know about and haven’t let themselves acknowledge. He doesn’t just blindly jab at someone hoping that maybe he’ll hit a nerve. While making shit up might work for a cheap laugh, it would ultimately damage his overall effectiveness.
To my knowledge Mike has never lied to hurt someone. Except on his DOA tweets, but those are just “your Mom” jokes.
Wait wait wait… The Head Alien… Mike… Robin… Is there not some sort of big mindfuck goin on here? Something which might eventually explain why Mike reappeared back in the universe? Why the Head Alien explained the Drama tag to Robin…? Why the under regulation started by Ronnie caused the banking sector to run amok and Galasso to burn the tag? Or am I reading too much into this?
And while I’m at it, why did Honey Bun choose the moment Mike was back in New York to attack??? Huh?Huh?
Wait, bottom left of the octagon. Is that supposed to mean Ninja Rick might love Faz?
That is Ninja Rick, right?
They slept together pretty early on in the strip’s run, when Amber and Robin convinced Faz he needed to be gay in order to be popular like Ethan.
“A ninja’s sword cannot be sheathed until it has tasted blood.”
ITS A CONSPIRACY!!!!!!!!
And a VLW one at that! 8)
Poor Galasso he gets no place on the love octagon
or am I just not seeing it?
Considering Galasso can’t remember what gender is which and seems to have begotten Connie through some kind of miracle, it isn’t entirely surprising that he’s not on here…
Mr. Willis needs to add somebody who wants to sleep with everyone just to make it way more complicated then it already is. XD
That would be Conquest, but afaik she never actually *did* sleep with anyone (on the board), nor did she actually love any of them, so she doesn’t appear.
Connie slept with Ethan.
ewwwwwwww
and ouch!
Don’t forget Jacob (its implyed) she started him down to road right to Roz.
His odd shape makes so much more sense now that I’ve read most of Joyce and Walky.
Someone on the cast needs to seduce ultracar.
Think I know why Mike is so pissed: Someone’s Mom got fucked and he wasn’t the one who did it!
See below.
What you don’t realize is that it’s not Roz at the bottom: It’s BAT GIRL! Who is related to Batman, who is Ninja Rick’s Father, and grandfather to Amber, Mike’s brother, Glasso’s adopted daughter (sex change) thus sister to uhm, Whatshername, and Mother to Willis (reeally good sex change).
Ultracar is KITT’s son from a gay marriage (old series). SpiderMan is Luke’s first cousin (Skywalker – get it?). T’ilk is the Jackal Head and Optimus Prime is Elvis. Mike’s parents are robots. Honey Bun is played by Amanda Tapping. Blaster Hamsters tm are Ringo Starr’s illegitimate children.
Fit that in your diagram! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA hack HA HA AH AH HA!
Was that board a Memento reference? Because it is.
Is Mike now fixin’ to nail Robin? He’s got that look.
She forgot ninja rick and Faz!
Adding Faz would make the thing illegible with arrows.
No she didn’t. Look on the bottom left.
I just noticed… Robin’s not wearing her Orange shirt underneath her her green one anymore…
One time, when I was younger and far less wise, I made one of these charts IRL. In public. It caused serious social drama llama.
Who are the two people crossed out? (And what’s with the Soggies reference?)
The Soggies (Cap’n Crunch’s BigBad) is a reference to a strip from long ago.
This one:
http://www.shortpacked.com/2007/comic/book-5/06-flashbacked/soggiesmayrule/
I don’t know if this has been asked before, but I have to say something or it’ll bug me for the rest of the week (possibly month).
Faz LEE, and Amber O’MALLEY.
Bryan Lee O’Malley: creator of Scott Pilgrim.
A clue/foreshadowing/whatever that Faz and Amber were somehow connected, or coincidence?
That’s just so strange, I don’t want to live in a world where that isn’t true. In fact…
Mike is the one who turned Ramonas’ exes evil.
He achieved this by fucking their Mothers and/or kicking them in their crotches.
You sir,are the QUEEN of irony.
Your question of whether Faz and Amber’s surnames are a reference to the creator of the Scott Pilgrim comics on this particular panel?It reminded me of a Scott Pilgrim shirt I recently purchased:
http://www.awx.co.za/e107_plugins/shop/show_product.php?catpath=130&prod_id=46320/Scott+Pilgrim%3A+Character+Map+Silver+%28L%29+T-Shirt#
Wait… why does Robin have a line connecting her and Ambe…
soo, mike just willed that jason would sleep with amber? DIABOLICAL!
and shouldn’t Leslie have a line connecting her to Amber after pretty much raping her that one morning?
1. Wow, robin’s chest has gotten smaller…maybe not enough sugar.
Also, why do I imagine Mike drawing that line forebodingly slow?
Will Faz finally find requited love in the Soggies? They may rule, you know.
I just realized, his claw is on the wrong hand here. The martians reversed it didn’t they?
Has this chalkboard appeared before this? I feel like it has…