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by David Willis on October 27, 2010 at 12:01 am
  • 03 - Minorities Report

└ Tags: amber, faz, galasso, ken, mike, ninja rick, robin

Discussion (57) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. David Herbert
    David Herbert
    October 27, 2010 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    A Watchmen reference there?

    And aww, Amber doesn’t want her possible half-brother to suffer? How sweet, sort of.

  2. Laura
    Laura
    October 27, 2010 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    Mike…isn’t…scowling.

    I’m scared.

    • Pariah Jones
      Pariah Jones
      October 27, 2010 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

      I think it’s because he set her up for her own “Mike moment” and she’s let him down horribly.

      • No0ne
        No0ne
        October 27, 2010 at 12:54 am | # | Reply

        Imst agree, Imangine Palpatine watching Vader fight Obi-wan in A New Hope. Vader get the opportunity to kill Obi-wan and desides to call him a name instead. Palpatine’s evil scowl would have faded if only for a second too…

        Or it wold deepen in rage… I’m not sure… who is mor evil Mike or Palpatine?

        • Pariah Jones
          Pariah Jones
          October 27, 2010 at 1:37 am | # | Reply

          The entire empire was an attempt to try to prove to Mike that Palpatine was more evil. In response, Mike fucked his mom for a nickel.

          • No0ne
            No0ne
            October 27, 2010 at 1:51 am | # | Reply

            This explains everything, Heck I bet the entire Legacy of the Sith was an attempt to prove that an entire race was more evil then Mike.

      • Matt
        Matt
        October 27, 2010 at 1:58 am | # | Reply

        It’s like letting the baby bird fly out it’s nest only to watch it land flat on it’s face. He handed her Faz on a silver platter, and she gained sympathy. Mike is probably shocked. Right before his face goes into an even harder scowl.

    • Red-Letter Day
      Red-Letter Day
      October 27, 2010 at 12:48 am | # | Reply

      Panel 6? Looks like he’s checking out the new hire’s derriere. Must be a nice one!

      • No0ne
        No0ne
        October 27, 2010 at 5:31 pm | # | Reply

        It does kind of look like that, or maybe his undergarments are showing and they have hearts on them or something. Mike is thinking of a way to use this to make the new hire quit.

  3. Arison
    Arison
    October 27, 2010 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

    Nice Watchmen reference there.

  4. Ragnal
    Ragnal
    October 27, 2010 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Wait, I’m sorry, WHO’S vision of racial alignment? Wasn’t Faz the one that gave him this idea?

    And someone just spit it out, even if it’s Mike. THE WORLD MUST KNOW.

    • No0ne
      No0ne
      October 27, 2010 at 12:55 am | # | Reply

      No, AMBERS’S MOM shows up and does it… Only to make Amber angry, because she’s decided she doesn’t want Faz fired after all…

    • Matt
      Matt
      October 27, 2010 at 2:02 am | # | Reply

      Fool! Do not presume to know Galasso’s machinations! For only Galasso has the foresight to keep the store alive!

      Oh, sorry. Galasso is Ra’s al Ghul, not Dr. Doom. Or is he Ozymandias now? Now I have to write up a whole different gimmick response…

      • Derik
        Derik
        October 27, 2010 at 8:42 pm | # | Reply

        Ozymandias. He’s about to announce his plan to kill 1/3 of all Asians in the city so that the city’s population conforms to his toy store’s demographics.

    • Björn
      Björn
      October 27, 2010 at 9:58 am | # | Reply

      Leslie: WE’RE damned if we stay quiet, FAZ’s damned if we DON’T…
      Amber: No… you’re right. We say nothing.
      Mike: Joking, of course.
      *Cheese turns up and disintegrates Mike before he has a chance to say it.*

  5. Alice Macher
    Alice Macher
    October 27, 2010 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    “Nothing ends, Galasso. Nothing ever ends.”

  6. J.P.
    J.P.
    October 27, 2010 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

    Master strokes…eww.

    • Jonathan
      Jonathan
      October 28, 2010 at 9:22 pm | # | Reply

      HAH!

  7. Mmcfacialhair
    Mmcfacialhair
    October 27, 2010 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

    never compromise, Galasso.

  8. Batgirl1
    Batgirl1
    October 27, 2010 at 1:04 am | # | Reply

    Amber’s expression/Aside Glance in panel 2 = Win.

  9. Cinder
    Cinder
    October 27, 2010 at 1:17 am | # | Reply

    AHAHA! I love Mike’s expression in the 6th panel. <3 He looks like he feels sorry for Amber.

  10. Alechsa
    Alechsa
    October 27, 2010 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

    Mike seems upset that she was ABOUT to go through with it. His scowl was -before- she chickened out. He may even be preparing some level of sympathy since she was about to confess relation to the Fazoid…

    Also: He’s jealous. He really loves Amber, and got jealous a few strips back when she was talking about Jacob respecting her. He probably knows he can’t compete with that aside from the awesome hate-sex.

  11. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    October 27, 2010 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

    What is up with Ethan’s lips?

    • Sarpiedon
      Sarpiedon
      October 27, 2010 at 9:30 am | # | Reply

      It’s no Ethan, that’s the new Asian Hire Pat Lee.
      I predict Shortpacked will now explode in a wall of fire while he is walking away.

      He hasn’t learned that it is better to fight, to die trying, than to live with the knowledge that he ran.

  12. Earlofthercs
    Earlofthercs
    October 27, 2010 at 1:53 am | # | Reply

    Wait a second, the new asian employee… is that Pat “superstar” Lee? Talk about coming drama!

  13. CJ
    CJ
    October 27, 2010 at 2:09 am | # | Reply

    She’s faltering. Stand firm! STAND FIRM!

  14. TexasNinjaBuzzard
    TexasNinjaBuzzard
    October 27, 2010 at 2:55 am | # | Reply

    So this is what disappointed! Mike looks like.

  15. frosgrok
    frosgrok
    October 27, 2010 at 3:02 am | # | Reply

    Mike’s expression matches the others’ expressions. He is applying pressure in order to cause her to fold. He did not want her to reveal Faz at this time. She must suffer more.

    Mike is not disappointed, Mike is not concerned, nor upset, sympathetic, or let down. Mike’s plan progresses.

    And Darkness spreads across the land…. Bwahaha!

    • JacquieH
      JacquieH
      October 27, 2010 at 3:51 pm | # | Reply

      But Mike’s not the scheming type.

      • frosgrok
        frosgrok
        October 28, 2010 at 8:17 pm | # | Reply

        Huh wah? Were did you get that from?

        • JacquieH
          JacquieH
          October 28, 2010 at 11:19 pm | # | Reply

          He’s pretty in-your-face. The closest to scheming I can think of that he’s done is when he didn’t tell Amber he thought Faz was her brother b/c he was saving it for her birthday.

  16. Shift
    Shift
    October 27, 2010 at 3:28 am | # | Reply

    Seriously Amber? You have the means to get rid guy who has been making your life a constant hell of annoyance and disgusting perversion and you falter?

    I can totally understand why Mike looks kinda let down.

  17. Sparks
    Sparks
    October 27, 2010 at 3:30 am | # | Reply

    Guys, I think we may be reading waaaay too much depth into Mike. At a certain point if we keep analyzing him, we may well come to the conclusion that the truth of the universe is: a shell of cynicism and sarcastic insults or abuse (all the things that go wrong in your day/week/life), wrapped around a surprisingly caring center (the good bits there beneath the pain and bullying of the world), and that Mike is therefore the living representative of the universe itself.

    And from there, the Church of Mike will form, sparking the inevitable war with the Church of the Cheese. And… well, do we as readers really want to be responsible for the next Scientology, all just because of our fannish determination to analyze Mike’s personality?

    (Also, I probably shouldn’t post on forums while on heavy cold medication, in hindsight.)

    • Sparks
      Sparks
      October 27, 2010 at 3:32 am | # | Reply

      I’m probably going to be horrified and embarrassed by the previous comment when the Nyquil stuff wears off. (Or possibly find fanfic fodder.)

    • MrGBH
      MrGBH
      October 27, 2010 at 7:15 am | # | Reply

      I’m actually struggling to find any example of Mike doing something mean purely for the sake of being mean. He always seems to have an alternative reason for doing what he does, usually to point out hypocrisy.

      Then again, considering how nice and perfect his parents were, it’s understandable that he was raised to believe that everyone else was nice and perfect too. Then he actually met people and realised that the most efficient way to help them was to be a jerk.

      And danggit, I just did exactly what you prophesised.

      • Zakrael
        Zakrael
        October 27, 2010 at 8:26 am | # | Reply

        Well shit, looks like Mike’s actually the prophet.

        Time to get my preachin’ robes on.

        Although I have to admit, the Church of Mike really has the edge in religious debates. “Yeah? Well the founder of our religion fucked the founder of your religion’s mom. For a nickel. That’s because the founder of your religion’s mom is a prostitute.”

      • Kumata
        Kumata
        October 27, 2010 at 8:27 am | # | Reply

        I remember he went to Barnes & Noble and spoiled the last Harry Potter book for everyone who was queuing up to buy it. He didn’t indicate an alternative reason for doing that other than to be mean, and I sure as hell can’t think of one.

        • Kumata
          Kumata
          October 27, 2010 at 8:27 am | # | Reply

          *without over-analysing, that is.

      • begbert2
        begbert2
        October 27, 2010 at 10:54 am | # | Reply

        I think that trying to get Amber to publicly admit she is sibling to grease is pretty mean for the sake of meanness. This is the thing so horrible that inspired the big NO, and a few weeks later he has her admitting it before an audience?

      • JacquieH
        JacquieH
        October 27, 2010 at 3:58 pm | # | Reply

        What about when he slept with Ethan and Amber just to piss them off at each other?

        • airfox
          airfox
          October 27, 2010 at 4:42 pm | # | Reply

          And Robin. Don’t forget the “metaphorical” crotch kick. :D

          -airfox

          • JacquieH
            JacquieH
            October 28, 2010 at 11:20 pm | # | Reply

            Oh, yeah!
            Remember the kiss? “I’m anything you don’t want me to be, baby!”

  18. bozzabbb
    bozzabbb
    October 27, 2010 at 4:49 am | # | Reply

    I see what you did there, Gallasomandias.

    • Phil
      Phil
      October 27, 2010 at 12:48 pm | # | Reply

      Behold his works, ye mighty, and despair.

  19. McMoose
    McMoose
    October 27, 2010 at 7:47 am | # | Reply

    For “perfect racial alignment”, don’t you still have to have at LEAST one black in the mix?
    And what about the Hispanic population?

    What city does this all take place in, anyway?

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      October 27, 2010 at 8:10 am | # | Reply

      That was covered in the first actual strip of the arc. The population of San Francisco is only 7% black (5% according to Faz), so it will require Shortpacked to have 15 employees (20 by Faz’s count) before they need a black guy.

      ‘Perfect racial alignment’ isn’t about representing all races, it’s about having the stores demographics match the city’s slavishly.

    • Kamino Neko
      Kamino Neko
      October 27, 2010 at 8:12 am | # | Reply

      Oops, meant to include a link to the strip… http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/03-minorities-report/demographics/

  20. Mollyscribbles
    Mollyscribbles
    October 27, 2010 at 8:56 am | # | Reply

    Possibly she stopped because she realized that, inevitably, the fact that she and Faz were related would come out. And who wants to admit to that?

  21. ziggy78eog
    ziggy78eog
    October 27, 2010 at 9:12 am | # | Reply

    Way to drop the ball, Amber. You had this golden opportunity to remove Faz, and you could not do it. What will Mike think of you now?

  22. John
    John
    October 27, 2010 at 9:56 am | # | Reply

    Tough break Amber, well there’s always tomorrow…

  23. Thoughtwandere
    Thoughtwandere
    October 27, 2010 at 11:06 am | # | Reply

    Shortly after Galasso revealed he had fired Jacob thirty-five minutes ago, Mike’s parents called from New York. The entire city was on fire, and under attack by some sort of giant vagina octopus.

    “Jacob’s fault” said Mike, before hanging up. Galasso was throwing up his arms and yelling “I DID IT!” behind him, but no one paid attention.

    Meanwhile, in the movie version of these events, the octopus was replaced by something that made much more sense yet was somehow less cool.

  24. Zudarkness619
    Zudarkness619
    October 27, 2010 at 11:54 am | # | Reply

    I’m sure mike;’s going to say something. If not someone will.

  25. ColdFusion
    ColdFusion
    October 27, 2010 at 2:00 pm | # | Reply

    I think I just realized Faz is a real name.. thank you, credits of Fraggle Rock, for reminding me of the guy who invented animatronic muppet ears.

    • Schornforce
      Schornforce
      October 27, 2010 at 10:23 pm | # | Reply

      Faz Fazakas? He’s who Fozzie Bear was named after! IIRC, he was a prominent designer/builder of many Muppets…

      I always thought Faz O. Lee’s name was pronounced to rhyme with ‘spazz’ as opposed to rhyming with ‘Roz’… hmmm…. which pronunciation is correct for Mister O. Lee?

  26. JacquieH
    JacquieH
    October 27, 2010 at 4:04 pm | # | Reply

    I refuse to analyze Mike’s expression until I see subsequent strips /snob

    Seriously: she could have just asked Mike to do it for her.

  27. Rasputin Varez
    Rasputin Varez
    October 27, 2010 at 5:15 pm | # | Reply

    Is that “Asian Ethan”?

  28. thomas0comer
    thomas0comer
    November 25, 2011 at 12:06 pm | # | Reply

    10 Employees at the store. One-third need to be Asian for racial “equality.” Faz is half Asian. Ken is Asian. Let’s say Ninja Rick counts as Asian. A new employee to replace Jason will be Asian. They still need Faz, as the total percentage of Asians will be 30% without him, and with him it will be 35%. 35% is closer to 33% than 30%. Does anybody else realize this?

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