Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
… Bowser has a cleft chin?
http://www.google.com/images?q=Bowser&biw=1280&bih=683
(Trivia: I drew the entire strip from memory, without reference, because I used to draw Bowser constantly in the margins of my junior high notebooks.)
… huh. So he does. I guess I’m not used to seeing it quite so… pronounced.
The cake is a lay.
CURSE YOU! THAT WAS MY JOKE!
Mine too, dammit.
Now, that’s thinking with . . . wait for it . . . porn-als! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I’m so lonely . . . >.<
don’t you mean PORN-HOLES???
Yes bowser, of the oral kind.
The bukkake is a lie.
I would respond to this gratuitous punnery with my standard retort, but I foresee some problems using this insult in this particular circumstance.
Oh well.
Fuck you in the mouth!
Another day, another “THE CAKE IN MARIO GAMES IS A EUPHAMISM FOR SEX” joke.
It’s funny because it’s true.
no no.
“THE CAKE IN MARIO GAMES IS A LIE (LIE IS A EUPHAMISM FOR SEX)”
I see i have been drunk archive binging. or rather, i was on February 2. I don’t remember that comment, let alone understand it.
shit.
But you will be remembered for it always.
Yeah I’m not going to understand this in a few months either.
You were just exercising the transitive property.
You think by now Peach would have taken some sort of self defense classes or something.
If Peach did that , Nintendo would lose a lot of money.
It’s kind of weird if you think about it. One company has made billions of dollars because of a fantasy story where one woman in a pink dress keeps getting kidnapped by a dinosaur.
Actually, he’s some sort of magic turtle. Somehow that’s even weirder.
From SMB2, we learned she can defend herself easily if she wants to. The “kidnapping” bit is really a kind of sexual roleplay thing she and Bowser have going on. Mario is kinda oblivious to this.
I really am laughing out loud at this, and this comic!
Your kidnapping is roleplay makes complete sense when you take into account all those children Bowser has have a conspicuously absent mother.
Its really Peach but they have to live with their father cause it would be unseemly not to mention politically unwise for a princess to have children outta wedlock which is also why the Bowser kids are always so gung ho about preventing Mario from rescuing her as from their povs Mario is the villain who keeps ‘kidnapping’ their mother.
SMB2 is somewhere between full canon and half canon because it was originally a totally different franchise, although the Mario franchise kept a lot of the stuff introduced in that game.
Super Princess Peach for the DS
That was a pretty nifty game.I hope they pursue that direction of things in the future.
Is it wrong that I think there should be another panel where The princess says “No” and Bowser still goes. “Oh. Well, I DO like cake, too.” ?
I could see that going either way with an extra panel, with the princess going “Ouch. Not for you.”
And here I thought we were being set up for a feminism joke.
Would’ve been more original.
Not gonna lie, not one of your better strips.
It seems other people have drawn the same conclusion about “cake”.
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/1871-Super-Mario-Galaxy-2
Congratulations Willis, you have succeeded in retelling a joke so old, it’s first recorded instance it’s first official recorded appearance was in the Bayeux Tapestry (though some have suggested that, if you look at certain cave paintings in the right light, there are some similarities)
It’s a fairly old joke. Apparently SMG2 is especially suggestive about it though.
The Paper Mario games are kings of this kind of thing. The mainline Mario games usually steer clear of it.
For example:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xpgbs8OVB4A
I’ve only ever even heard of Super Mario Galaxy from reading Shortpacked!, so it’s all new to me.
Ooh ooh ooh- hay guyz! Didj00 know some1 else had done a thing with LOL-ing catz B4? ZOMGLOL Willis is t0tally a b1t3r amirite!!!1!
SG Ravage brings something new to the table, because it’s not JUST another lolcat, (in fact the lolcat speak happened relatively late in the game,) it’s turning the concept of Ravage’s character on its ear and also makes other gags like how effective a saboteur can be when he posts updates, and poking fun at a hyperactive Transformer that mindlessly follows social networking.
You’re trying to tell us that’s somehow the EXACT SAME THING as simply another cake=sex gag?
Also, does this mean the cake in Portal is a euphemism for sex?
To be honest, it’s kinda hot to think GLaDOS was trying to entice Chell with cake the whole time. This lends credence to the whole “Portal was all about Lezbians” theory.
what truth could be more horrifying than learning that sex is a lie?
True.
Especially HLA.
They will never finish halflife 2.
How’s that?
Half-Life 2′s been out for six years.
Now if you’re talking about Half-Life *3*, that’s still not so bad as long as sex still exists.
Bowser wants to have his cake and eat it too.
Back when the Onion was just starting out, they had a short-lived video-game focused adjunct, appropriately called “the Mushroom.” I still have a copy of one of the very best articles to appear therein:
BOWSER KIDNAPS TOADSTOOL AGAIN
Mario Says, “Fuck It”
Didn’t Yatzee make this joke last week?
So? Didn’t the entire internetz make this joke over a decade ago?
So “All your mom’s are having a bake sale!” would be a pretty mortal insult, then?
Itsa me Mario
And I can breathe in space.
“Size Matters” takes on a very scary meaning regarding
the dinosaur king’s proposition.
Personally, I think the rumor’s true. Everyone is hot for Peach, same way that everyone is loli for Etna, etc.
Sorry, Bowser. Sometimes a cake is just a Cake.
I bake cake all the time. I bake cake at home, I bake cake alone, hell, I bake cake with a bunch of my bros. Cake is what I bake.
Did you know that Mario, Princess Peach and Donkey Kong were only created as last minute replacements for Popeye, Olive Oil and Bluto?
Now try not to imagine Princess Peach being double-teamed by Bowser and Popeye.
Close, The Damsel in Distress in Donkey Kong was not Peach. It was ” Pauline” who was apparently not a princess, , just Mario’s “girl friend”.
It’s not clear what happened to her in later installments.
Oh, just the normal. They broke up, she got a job working at the Tasty Freeze… she letter met a guy named Mark who worked at a local autoshop. They got married, had kids, and bought a house. They may not be rich, but they have found happiness.
Mario on the other hand gave up carpentry, became a plumber, and started chasing after a woman who lets herself get “kidnapped” every five minutes by the most incompetant villain of all time.
Pauline chose the better path I think.
They broke up, and Mario turned to drugs. The Super Mario games are just an extended psilocybin-fueled post-breakup bender.
Hohum hohum, at home singin’ to myself, “It’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake”, oh, Hi there Chris Hanson, what are you doing in my kitchen?
I’ve seen a version of that on youtube with Kairi from Kingdom Hearts. Now my brain has gone sideways imagining Peach, Kairi and Stephanie baking cakes together.
I didn’t intend for that to be a euphemism, but it’s just as funny if it is or if it isn’t.
Three girls, one cake?
Am I the only guy who thinks that it’s funnier if ‘bakes me a cake’ is, in fact, a euphemism for ‘bakes me a cake’?
I mean, at least going to stupid lengths for sex is relatable. Taken at face value the motivation being cake is completely insane.
“Mario! We need to talk.”
“Is this an intervention?”
“You… you just… you love cake so much.”
“… *sob* It’s-a true! I love-a the cake! I would bake a cake for the cake!”
“…that hardly makes any sense, but okay.”
Pretty much, yeah. it’s just plain funnier if you don’t try to lodge sex into the equation. It’s just more fun to think that, damn, but Peach must be a master-class confectioner! Wars and fights have been started over her pastries, and a single slice is enough to move people to cross the world from one side to another. Her cooking is like the Marioverse’s version of Helen of Troy.
That, and Bowser has a *massive* sweet tooth.
(Though technically Bowser kidnaps Peach for the cake, but the universal domination thing was already underway and unrelated, mostly for the lulz and because having the universe is a reason in itself. As a wise man once said, absolute power is pretty neat)
After reading all those replies… guess what ???
I WANT CAKE NOW !!!
Willis must be tired from Comic Con if he’s churning out this VG Cats level garbage.
If the next comic is all about how annoying Navi is, we’re in trouble.
It’s funny how you lot are complaining about this but I don’t recall hearing a peep when he was recycling a joke that’s literally a century old – pie throwing.
If you read Joyce and Walky you’ll find out that Willis invented Ultra-car as his first comic character aged about 7 or so. So he’s been using the pie-throwing gag for decades himself.
There’s a vast – vast – difference between classic slapstick routines and tired internet jokes.
Maybe it’s time for an All Your Base joke!
I’m sure Willis is sorry that you had to pay so much for this joke. I suggest you demand a refund.
Ah, yes. The old “it’s free therefore it can’t be criticized” argument. If a professional movie critic attends a free showing of a film, is he or she forbidden from forming a negative opinion of it? Must I like every song I hear on the radio because I didn’t pay to hear it?
Let me guess, your next response will be, “Let’s see YOU do a better webcomic!”
Since you bring up VG Cats, I honestly hope Willis now does a comic along the lines of the dancing fetuses comic but with old Internet memes instead of dancing fetuses, just to take the piss out of you bozos.
oh come now we all know that Peach wants to be kidnapped its a good excuse for her affair.
So, what, I gotta hear it from Bowser now that you have an “in” at the Goat Face Club? You know good and well that I’ve dreamed of being in a Goat Face Club ever since I was a moderately-sized baby!
Now it may not be 100% original, but it’s -damn- funny… and well-executed.. you get points upon points.
First off it is King Koopa, second codeword for sex is TIDE.
And hilarity and confusion ensue when Mario finds out that Peach has teamed up with Chef Duff to bake him an extra special cake for his birthday. Get THAT image out of your heads.
I don’t think that’d even work out very well, Bowser.
…Considering the size difference…
…Well I am surprised I have not seen fanfiction on this
Of course it’s actually cake. How do you think Mario got so fat?