So this is the infamous half-blender of Webcomic Rampage. For those readers of mine who still haven’t heard this story, let me retell it here. I shipped two boxes of books to the Austin Dragon’s Lair comic shop ahead of myself so that I could sell them to my fans. One box arrived easy-as-you-please! The other box had been opened, books removed, placed in a new box, with the books exchanged with half a blender. HALF A BLENDER. So, yeah. Post Office lost/stole/ate my books, and gave me an incomplete blender in exchange. That was fun! But a good story, I guess?
But the sad, sobering reality is that losing those books cost me a potential few hundred dollars in sales. That blows! So to share this story and to help recoup my losses, since there’s no real legal recourse for me to retrieve these books or my lost potential sales, I’ve doodled a bunch of my characters on the surface of this blender with a Sharpie. And you can own it. Keep in mind, it is an INCOMPLETE blender. You will only get what you see here. Just the bottom, with a plug. There’s no top half. The blender also has some scuff marks at some of the edges where its silvery finish was removed in transit. But on the plus side, there’s now all these Shortpacked! and Dumbing of Age characters on it. Sweet, huh?
I’ve left a spot up next to Ultra Car where the winner of the blender can request anyone they feel is important that I’ve forgotten. (Which, as it turns out, will probably be Mike. Man, how’d I forget him? Oh well, you can request him should you win. Or somebody else! There’s also no Dorothy, no Reagan, no Sal…)
So, uh, yeah! You can own this piece of dubious webcomics history.
What is wrong with me that I read “no Reagan” and thought Mancuso? =D
[do I want a SP!/DoA blender with Reagan Mancuso?]
Well played! When life gives you half a blender, make blender-ade!
I don’t know whether to thank you for making the obvious joke before I could, or curse you for making the obvious joke before I could.
I always thought it was “When life gives you lemons, make crushed lemons and sadness”.
It’s “When life gives you lemons, it had also better give you sugar or your lemonade’s gonna suck.” Or something.
No, the real saying is this…
“When life gives you lemons, you make Lemon Drops.”
Lemon Drop
In a shaker, combine ½ ounce of Absolut Citron, ½ ounce of sweet and sour and crushed ice and strain in a glass. On a slice of lemon, sprinkle ½ a teaspoon of sugar. Drink the Lemon Drop shot and then quickly suck on the sugared lemon.
What would be even stranger would be if you sent this off to the winning bidder and it never arrives, but a box of books arrives in its place.
YES
I must gather my pennies!
alternate reality ravage ? AWESOME!
i think you need to give us mor einfo, like, type so we can get the other half for it.
You sent a box full of merchandise worth hundreds of dollars and didn’t insure the shipment? And we’re supposed to feel sorry for you? USPS insurance is CHEAP!!!
I used to use insurance, but then found out it didn’t actually insure anything, and you never get anything out of it. All it does is deter postal workers from kicking your goods as hard as they would have otherwise. If it goes lost or missing… whoops! That’s too bad! This fine print says you’re out of luck!
I still don’t understand this. It’s theft, plain and simple, whether it occurs under your nose or the USPS’s nose. And I KNOW there can be strong legal recriminations for tampering with/stealing the contents of a mailbox, after delivery. Why doesn’t some form of law enforcement have jurisdiction over things stolen from mail in transit? It doesn’t make any sense.
Maybe Cadbury Creme Egg Cereal can fix this?
This is actually why many argue for the privitization of the Postal Service. UPS and FedEx charge more, but they do track your package specifically on their basic shipping levels and have a fairly substantial claim service for lost/damaged items. I’m sure for a guy like Willis it’s a balance of risk vs. return. As he said the insurance he could have used does little to nothing and it seems like he’s speaking from experience there.
I’ve actually had way more problems with UPS. I use them way less frequently and bad stuff happens more often, while I use USPS like thirty times a week and this is the first weird-ass thing to ever occur.
The problem with privatizing the postal service is that you can’t actually make a profit delivering small pieces of mail. The money is in delivering large packages, so the pressure would be on to eliminate regular mail service.
Are you kidding? UPS and FedEx absolutely blow and USPS is only slightly worse. I’ve had packages that require signature left at my door, my signature forged. I’ve known people who’ve had packages left out in the MIDDLE OF THEIR LAWN in pouring rain with a single sheet of newspaper gently placed over it. Former employees have regaled me with tales of distribution center employees basically playing soccer with peoples’ packages. Something marked fragile just gets kicked harder.
Bottom line is that a delivery service is only as good as the people making the deliveries. Let’s face it, the best and brightest do not go out and get jobs driving FedEx trucks.
I’m fairly certain the US Postal service has an investigative branch with real law enforcing powers. Heck I once saw a movie about these guys.’Course this is sadly a bit too small potatoes, still I would still have notified the authority, if it happens often they might investigate.
If I had the money, or a place to put it while explaining to my parental units ‘why’ I bought only half of a blender, I would be all over this.. if only to help poke the selling price up a bit.
Its beyond my price range too now… If I ever go to a con Willis attend I’ll bring my toaster and get him to draw on it XD
Ultra-Car dumped Mike in the Amazon while you were drawing didn’t he? Or is it just revenge for Mike doing it in the first place?
I love that you’re actually doing this!
Mike could go under the Cuisinart logo.
Sal could go between Roz and Jacob
Reagan can go behind faz.
cheese can go beside ultra car.
EDIT: Oh, hey, if you want to finish the blender, you can apparently purchase its missing parts here: http://www.cuisinart.com/products/blenders/spb-600.html#parts
^lolz
half an $80 dollar blender for a little over $100 with some awesome artwork on it, not a bad deal.