Gun may/may not be mightier than the sword

by David Willis on September 29, 2010 at 12:00 pm
Posted In: Blog

Drift brings three swords to a gunfight.

Oh,  hello, Blurr.  I remember you.  You’re that speed-talkin’ Micro Machines guy.  You know what my favorite Blurr moment was?  When  Hardhead forcibly shut you up by smothering you.  That was pretty great.

And, sure, there were times when you didn’t have the speed-talking gimmick.  There were your few pre-Furman Marvel comics speaking roles.  There was, uh, All Hail Megatron.  The sad thing that I learned is that Blurr needs his speed-talking gimmick.  He’s super boring and unexceptional without it.  It’s all he has.  Blurr’s problem is what makes him remarkable is also what makes him annoying.  He’s an incredibly superficial character.

Which is why (gasp) I am going to go out on a limb and say that I like Drift‘s character more than Blurr’s.  So, yes, you might believe that Drift is the worst kind of Marty Stu, being some kind of magical sword guy who shows up just to be righter about everything than everyone else, with a dark, scandalous past and godlike training from a secret Mary Suetopia which he discovered…  but at least he’s not That Guy Who Talks Fast.  It’s way more fun to hate Drift than it is to love Blurr.

Watch for paint-scratches on the hood.

Thus part of my problem ranking Blurr’s toy versus Drift’s.  As you can see, one is a retool of the other.  Blurr has a new head (based on his IDW comics design), a large gun and two handguns instead of a large sword and two … handswords?, and a different spoiler.  And despite being a less interesting character to me, he’s much, much, muuuuuch prettier.  Drift’s colors are pretty boring.  He’s solid white and dark gray, with some tiny bits of red.  Blurr, instead of being solid white, has this vivid range of blues.  The only non-blue non-black color on him is the red for his knees and his chest symbol.  He’s not solid blue.  He’s multi-blue.  And they’re very good blues.

1986 Autobot Cars REPRESENT!

I probably stared at Blurr the most of all the toys in Hasbro’s BotCon 2010 display cases.

Blurr’s guns work real hard to out-cool Drift’s swords.  Blurr has a huge gun, of course, just like Drift had the huge sword, and it’s a huger gun than Drift’s sword.  It also has a fold-out peg in the middle of the barrel so that Blurr can hold the gun two-handed.  What you can do with Blurr’s two handguns is pretty neat.  Yeah, they still store in the hip holsters, just like Drift’s mini-swords did, and Blurr can run around carrying them individually while the big gun’s snapped onto his back… but you can also clip them onto the end of the barrel of the larger gun.  If you face them barrel-forward, you end up with a three-pronged supergun.  If you face them barrel backwards, you end up with a tripod for the larger gun.  A tripod!  You know, for all your crouching and waiting snipery needs.

He has a gun tripod MADE OUT OF GUNS.

And yet is it cooler than swords?  I dunno.  That’s a tough call.  Sure, lots of  characters come with bunches of guns, but who the heck comes with a veritable golf bag of blades?  However, these blades don’t combine like Blurr’s guns do.  And Blurr is prettier than Drift, hands down, but Blurr-the-character just isn’t that interesting to me.  You can’t even ironically own Blurr’s toy like you can ironically own Drift’s toy.

People ask, which of the two should they get?  I answer… fuck me if I know!


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