I have always interpreted it this way.
I once went to a church camp with a friend. The camp director apparently had ADD (or so he claimed) so as a child, he had a different view of other myths.
You know that myth where Jesus walks on water and startles those… guys who follow him everywhere? The Director interpreted it as:
Jesus is bored so he decides to sneak up behind those… guys and scare them. They scream “AHH! GHOST!” and he says, “No It’s just me. Jesus.” After they calm down, Jesus, you know, tells them that if you believe in God you can walk on water. So Luke (or whoever the hell it was, maybe it was Peter) goes for it, and walks on water. Then he does awesome dance moves until he momentarily loses faith and falls in.
By dance moves, I mean moonwalking, disco, the works.
This was the highlight of my time there. The rest of it sucked.
Chuck Norris taught Jesus to walk on water. He taught Micharel Jackson to moonwalk. He taught Uncle Ben that with great power, comes great responsibility. He triedto teach Jesus to turn water into whiskey, but Jesus was too much of a wussy light-weight. Chuck Norris taught God how to impregnate a woman with his eyes.
And yet he was still never as good as Bruce Lee.
Nah, he lost on purpose. The constant Internet arguments provide extra energy for his Chuck powers.
And yet, pretty sure Rory Williams is made of more badass nowadays, with the bonus being that he’s way more adorable when not in Badass Mode.
Being fictional probably helps, but then again, the vision we have of Mr. Norris is fictional (the real Chuck Norris is an aging, and terrible, C-list actor who supported Mike Huckabee in the ’08 primaries and who had the gall to copyright/trademark the “Chuck Norris Jokes” that he didn’t even come up with. That’s right; he trademarked an internet meme. For profit. One he didn’t even come up with.)
So, actually, fair comparison.
Also: despite being at least as badass, Rory williams isn’t an ass. The “Chuck Norris’ tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries” joke would imply he really is that big of an ass even in meme form.
So either way, Chuck: +0, Rory: +1.
I know it’s hard to believe, but I’m with JW on this one.
(With 2000 years to think of a joke, you’d think I’d have come up with something better.)
Well, Liam Neeson taught Obi-Wan Kenobi how to come back after death. So there.
Your church camp was very different than mine…
in mine we ate frosting and drank mountain dew and threw Risk figurines at each other and I prevented anyone from eating poison mushrooms (they wanted to get high).
When I read the bible when I was younger, I thought it odd that the all-mighty was essentially a dead-beat-dad. I mean he knocks up a chick, who is engaged to someone else, doesn’t call her but instead has his angel buddy tell her “you might want to see a doctor” then essentially avoids her and the kid for years, before showing up one day and telling his kid “yeah, I know I didn’t talk to you for.. .well, your entire life, but you gotta do this thing for me…” I bet he didn’t even pay child-support.
Obviously, I had a lot of interesting discussions with the nuns in my Catholic School.
Except he didn’t even have the guts to tell the kid himself. He made Alan Rickman do it for him.
To be fair, I’d get Alan Rickman to do all my talking if I could.
So long as we’re going down that road, isn’t God a lesbian?
I think “continuing the subscription to the universe’ offsets any lack of child support.
Why must Shortpacked constantly make fun of religion? I mean, I get it’s supposed to be a joke, but you take this stuff a bit too far.
>_> I really hope that’s a joke.
Religion is a comedy goldmine. It would be stupid for a cartoonist to ignore that.
“Then Jesus said to the fig tree ‘why do you give me no fruit? You shall be cursed and never bear fruit again.’”
My pastor also told me that Mary was like, 12 when she was pregnant, so there’s that.
That’s a bit young. More like 14-16.
NAME — Get a Gravatar
NOTE - You can use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress
| Subscribe: RSS
| Back to Top ↑