Shortpacked! by David Willis

So after rounding up new comics this week from The Laughing Ogre (sadly, I only had Ultimate Iron Man #5 to pick up), I went searching for King Kong toys. I needed one. Toys R Us always seemed to have the biggest range of them, so we went there.

I ended up with Gripping Kong. He comes with an Anne figure, which was critical, and had a more neutral facial expression, so he wouldn’t be roaring at her all the time. Yes, I want to have a happy Kong/Anne display because I’m a big fucking girl. (Besides, Anne is stuck in this very friendly wave gesture which would seem out of place if Kong’s flailing her about while he kicks dinosaur ass.) He’s also the “ultra poseable” one, but while he has lots of joints, they don’t really allow a meaningful range of movement. Damn.

I also considered the Kong Vs. Juvenile V-rex set, with jaw-breaking action, but decided I’d rather have the neutral face. Which is too bad, because my Kong has nobody to fight. Maybe he and Optimus Primal can fight to the death or something.

So, anyway, thanks to the magic of Awesome Hangy Thing That Comes With, my Kong is delightfully carrying Anne up my lamp post. There’s no sets that come with bi-planes for him to swat at, because Playmates is apparently trying to make me sad. Those rats.

I also found some of the next wave of JLU figures at Target! That was hurtful, because I just spent $10 on Kong, and there were 2 more $10 sets I needed. They were out of the Green Lantern 3-pack and the single-packed Supergirl and Steel, but I grabbed the two villain 3-packs. Pictures later!

Shortpacked! and Blank Label Comics scored some hot-ass accolades in Comixpedia’s End of 2005 Roundtable. In particular, Karl Kuras named Shortpacked! one of his five favorite strips. I could quip here that Karl’s check is in the mail, but that joke is dated. I am cutting edge and pine fresh, in an IN YOUR FACE sort of way. Instead, I’ll just say to Karl: “DONG SCHLONG MONG DONG FONG LONG ZONG PONG KONG DONG”

Karl’ll know what I mean.

Also, for all you Transformers peeps, Entertainment Earth has put up Hasbro’s release photos of Mini-Con 2-packs wave 3 and Star Wars Transformers wave 2. Sunstorm is awesome. I collect all Sunstorms. Sadly, this Sunstorm sports a distinct lack of ORANGE. Furthermore, his robot mode is entirely black and white. DOUBLEYOU-TEE-EFF. GET ON THE BALL HASBRO. (I kid.)

And lastly, people, I know Aslan is a Christ allegory. Monday’s strip was something known as a “rhetorical question.” The double standard was the point of the comic, or the “joke,” as we call it here in the business. I don’t need it explained. I realize that most of you who are sending me these emails don’t read this blog, but I’m just putting this out there anyway.

(I should do a comic about it. I sure don’t get any “Hey, did you know there’s Star Wars Transformers” emails anymore.)

((Man. Why don’t I have more readers? It’s like I’m doing something to push them away.))

(((The previous parenthetical was another one of those “rhetorical questions.” Cheese almighty, don’t send me emails explaining it.)))