Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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animated
batman
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dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
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ethan
faz
galasso
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guest strip
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jacob
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joe
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ken
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Well, after Jesus’ experience with Avengers I’m not surprised he agreed.
I like Jesus, even if he isn’t the “biblical” one. He seems like a cool guy to just hang around with.
And that is a trope
I dunno, he sounds pretty annoying, always trying to convince everyone to join his cult.
This is how you do it Malaya.
I can’t be the only one who read that as a song, right?
No. No, you are not.
How do you solve a problem like Malaya?
How do you deflate an ego and bring her down?
How do you find a word that means Malaya?
A flippingkilljoy! A sonofabitch! A frown!
Ohmygod. Right in the childhood!
Joyce would love this.
Robin, on the other hand, would see it as slow psychological torture. Even though she agrees with it completely.
You, sir and/or madam, win the internet. That was great.
Brilliant. That’s all I can say, simply brilliant.
I…I might cry.
Aww, poor Ethan didn’t get an invite.
He’s more DC than Marvel, I believe.
I liked ‘The Avengers’ but it did need more Batman.
EVERYTHING needs more Batman.
And ninjas.
And Bat-Ninjas. (Knightfall Part 3)
Yes!
Glasso shows much wisdom.
Heaven help us if he ever gets superpowers on top of his crazy resurrection tech.
I’m surprised ‘Historical Jesus’ hasn’t tried to sue him for its use.
how do you know Galasso ISN’T the alter ego of some super villain somewhere?
Because if he were part-timing as a supervillain he’d have a more appropriate outlet for his world-domination-craving, and we wouldn’t see so much of it in his toy store.
Unless he’s just bat-sh%$ insane all around.
Or perhaps he’s all arse backwards, and he acts as a more reasonable & professional in his villain alter-ego!
Now that would be funny.
God, I love this idea.
Actually, I thought that DKR needed more Avengers, as it was the least of the three superhero movies this summer. Not that DKR was anything less than awesome, it just had phenomenally good competition. At the very least it needed some Hulk, since Hulk in Avengers was a huge green ambulatory CMOA.
I was never all that fond of the Hulk as a character, but he had some great bits in Avengers. I loved the bit where he just sucker-punched Thor for no reason other than he was there.
Thor of all people should know better when fighting with berserkers. *Grin*
That’s probably why he never seemed the least bit upset about it later. (Not that there was a lot of “later” left in the movie at that point.
It’s possible Ethan couldn’t come because he was working. April, Leslie, Ninja Rick and Faz don’t seem to be there either. Of course from the looks of things, Malaya just got home from the store, so it’s possible there are a few more guests on their way.
Imagine Malaya’s face if Leslie shows up for Ken’s party and she has to deal with the fact that the only person she considered “worthy” of being invited to her birthday party, is just as happy to hang out with the “nerds” as with her.
Of course after over a year, she still hasn’t realized that Leslie is a sci-fi “geek.”
Unless he’s just out of frame.
Golasso, Nick Fury is far too distracted with those mother fucking snakes on that mother fucking plane.
Remind me, who is Darcy Lewis and which film is she from?
She’s the teen girl from Thor, the one that complained all the time.
She also kept hitting Thor with a truck.
Nono, Jane was the one who kept hitting Thor with the truck. Darcy was the one who tased him.
I always separate them as “That chick from 2 Broke Girls” and Natalie Portman.
She’s a grad student, not a teenager.
The grad student intern with Jane Foster in Thor.
Also, she is AWESOME.
Seconded! Darcy rocks a tazer you just can’t touch that.
Jesus’ initial good experience with Marvel Movies might get sullied once they get to Daredevil.
Don’t be silly. Lucy knows that movie is just a myth.
Along with the fabled 1994 Fantastic Four movie and the legendary Doctor Strange movie from the 70s. Proof of their existence is lost throughout the sands of time.
Or the Generation X movie!
Don’t worry, Live Action Marvel Universe. I’m pretty sure Daredevil’s Fox-owned.
Oh, I read that as all live action Marvel Movies. Okay then they’r good.
Nope. The rights lapsed a few months ago. Marvel offered to let Fox keep them in exchange for some of the Fantastic Four’s extended cast, but Fox turned them down.
That still doesn’t change the fact that Daredevil is a Fox movie, and not a part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Who’s the untagged redhead?
A yet unnamed room-mate perhaps?
Probably, she also appeared on Malaya and Arnold’s debut appearance.
Honestly she reminds me of Becky from J&W. The hair color’s off, and the styles aren’t identical, but it’s… fairly close.
She’s a homeless woman. Ken needs to learn how to lock the door.
Angie, apparently, by process of elimination.
No idea whether that tag was there at the time you posted, though.
Angie’s name wasn’t there when we posted, either Willis just forgot or Willis “forgot” to put her name there for a few hours.
I was trying to remember if I’d named anybody Angie yet. And then I gave up and named her Angie anyway.
The best thing about inviting Jesus to your party is that you don’t have to worry about running out of drinks or snacks.
Unless you don’t drink or dislike seafood.
You would save a fortune when you order pizza, 8 slices becomes 800 slices in no time.
Bit thin on toppings though, except for tuna or anchovies.
I get what you two are going for, but it doesn’t work. Jesus didn’t summon random food from nowhere, he multiplied the food that was already there.
Umm, “8 becomes 800″ “only the crust and fish toppings will multiply”…
Best of all, you can pick up a few bottles of water and he can turn it into top-notch wine. Although since Jacob’s there he probably wouldn’t.
I had no idea Historical Jesus would be so interested in superhero flicks. Or popcorn.
Don’t forget, Jesus said that The Avengers was the greatest movie he’d ever seen (out of a sample size of The Avengers, Short Circuit, and Short Circuit 2.
Jesus likes to point out the fact that he could do everything the superhereos can do while he watches the movies.
Sometimes I think you don’t get the point of a historical Jesus.
We can dream, dammit! Hey, if Walkyverse peeps have super powers then I’m just holding out for Historical Jesus suddenly turning into Kung Fu Jesus!
Or Aang. Honestly, having either would be awesome.
I’m betting there are people who believe that there was a historical Jesus with superpowers. They may even accept that he didn’t look like a mutant freak in his own time, but nonetheless: superpowers.
It’s not like you’ve proved the character hasn’t got them, after all.
He has a point?? I thought the reason you added HJ to your cast was that a number of other webcomics had their own version of Jesus and you wanted in on that action.
I am partial to Troutman’s version. Who does like Jesus with a great rack.
Aarrgh. doesn’t, not does.
Attempts the math…
* Three SPIDER-MAN
* Four X-MEN
* Two HULK
* Two DAREDEVIL
* Two PUNISHER
* One or Two GHOST RIDER (I forget, haven’t seen them)
* Two IRON MAN
* CAPTAIN AMERICA
* THOR
* THE AVENGERS
We’re getting on to two DAYS worth of film and I think I’m only scratching the surface.
Oh yeah. HOWARD THE DUCK. Knew I was forgetting somebody.
* Two FANTASTIC FOUR (For Cheese’s Sake, that silly Doctor Doom arm in my buddy’s workshop!)
I remember the Spawn movie from the 1990s.
SPAWN wasn’t Marvel. It was Todd MacFarlane (sp?) going on his “solo career”.
TWO Daredevil movies? Are you counting Elektra as a DD movie, or have I blocked a DD movie from my memory?
The former.
Although Daredevil did appear in one of the TV movies that ended the HULK TV series.
Doesn’t the live action marvel universe include only The movie comprising of the Avengers?
Also you left out an X-men. (Or you’re like me and pefer to pretend Wolverine never happen)
I probably am leaving out an X-MEN. Those things breed like rabbits.
Yeah, technically if you’re going with the Marvel Cinematic Universe it’s Iron Man 1 and 2, Thor, Captain America, Avengers, and possibly the Hulk one, I’m not entirely certain if that’s canon or not. With everything else I’m pretty sure there are rights issues. It’s like the DCAU only technically consists of BTAS/TNBA, Superman Animated, Justice League/JLU, Batman Beyond, and Static Shock, only instead of one company doing them it’s a horrifying clusterfuck of licensing problems.
The Incredible Hulk (2008) is very much canon. Hell, it even has a Robert Downey Jr. cameo.
Fun fact: The major events in Iron Man 2, The Incredible Hulk, and Thor all happened pretty much concurrently, during what has been deemed “Nick Fury’s Big Week”.
“Nick Fury’s Big Week” sounds like a children’s book highlighting how tough his job is.
“Nick Fury’s Big Week” in which Agent Coulson does most of the work.
And “The Incredible Hulk” is a sequel to Ang Lee’s “Hulk”, so technically that one is in there (unfortunately).
I’m not sure this is the case. “The Incredible Hulk” deliberately avoided retelling the origin story told in the preceding debacle, but I don’t believe there was any effort beyond that to avoid contradictions or place them in the same continuity.
It’s not a sequel, it’s more of an overwrite.
And it owes more to the TV series from the ’80s than Ang Lee’s “Hulk.”
I mean, they even re-shot the entire laboratory sequence from the first episode, and they did it so well that at first I thought it actually WAS just clips from the TV show (until I realized they hadn’t just green-screened Edward Norton over Bill Bixby).
It’s FOUR Spider-Man and FIVE X-Men.
I remembered poorly.
You chose….poorly.
Nooo…….2 X-men movies, a 20-minute Deadpool teamup with Weapon X, and that’s it.
Really. Wolverine didn’t/hasn’t got his own series, they didn’t take away Deadpool’s #1 feature, and they didn’t make a crappy third movie where they depowered some of the most awesome mutants around (*coughMadroxMystiqueMagnetocough*).
oop, forgot first class. the X-men duology, First Class, and the Deadpool short.
Multiple Man never got depowered. He just got recaptured.
And a partridge in a pear tree!!!!
There’s THREE Punisher films, two Captain America films, five X-Men films, and four Spider-Man films.
Not to mention the lesser known Marvel movies like Howard the Duck. And Kick Ass is a Marvel movie too, technically. The comic book was published by Marvel.
There’s also three Blade films.
Nooo…….2 X-men movies, a 20-minute Deadpool teamup with Weapon X, and that’s it.
Really. Wolverine didn’t/hasn’t got his own series, they didn’t take away Deadpool’s #1 feature, and they didn’t make a crappy third movie where they depowered some of the most awesome mutants around (*coughMadroxMystiqueMagnetocough*).
oop, forgot first class. the X-men duology, First Class, and the Deadpool short.
And the Nick Fury movie.
Where do you get two Captain America movies? If you’re counting that, um, admirable version from 1979, it had a sequel of its own which makes *three*.
There is a Captain America movie from 1990.
I think you could save time by simply working out which bits are considered within the movieverse continuity(short version: Anything that acknowledges Coulson) — the Iron Man movies, Thor, Captain America, one Hulk, and Avengers.
That’s THREE Punishers.
Two Infinity Gloves.
And exemption from continuity!
To be fair Ken said marvel movie universe so only the films made by Marvel studios since Iron Man count (unless I misunderstand your post)
You’re forgetting Blade the Vampire Hunter.
If Darcy was in the movie it would be five minutes long. She goes in the cage with Loki he’ll end up telling her everything she wants to know.
Naaah. Loki’s caravan would make it out of the base and she’d magically be driving a semi and hit him with it. XD
I want you all to imagine Malaya’s face when she realizes that Ken is genuinely more popular than she is. Savor the image.
That made me do my evil laugh. Thank you.
So’s Lucy, but we’ve already seen that Malaya doesn’t think that “counts.”
There’s only two people in the room whose opinions matter to her. And one of them is wearing her pants. Nobody else in the room matters at all.
Casual Jesus is the best Jesus.
I’m only slightly disappointed he’s wearing a T-shirt and jeans rather than a tunic. I suppose tunics are hard to find these days if you don’t make them yourself.
You’d be surprised.
All three strips have a weird synchronicity going on today. Shortpacked has the characters watch a movie marathon. Roomies has Joyce watch a movie marathon and complain about how sexual it is. And DOA has Joyce dreaming about sex.
The point is, this scene is totally gonna end in an orgy. Then the circle will be complete.
I have a feeling that won’t happen as long as Jesus is there.
And then Mary Magdalene entered the room, with a keg of the old mass wine.
Oh, and you can’t add a girl to the Avengers! They already have one! Tokenism! Tokenism!
That’s why they can’t add a black guy…because Nick Fury.
If they added a hobbit, would that be Tolkienism?
or a giant talking chuckie cheese coin? Would that be Tokenism?
If they add Heihachi Mishima, would that be Tekkenism?
If they added a Vulcan, would that be Trekenism?
I have no further puns to add to this, I just want to tell you all that I love you from the bottom of my heart.
If they added Liam Neeson, would that be Takenism?
If they added Ash Ketchum, would it be Pokenism?
If they added a stoner…eh, never mind.
if they added Hikaru Sulu would that be Takeiism
oh my
I MUST see more of Galasso outside the toy store. COMEDY GOLD! (Plus pairing him with Arnold, that’s just pure money right there!!!)
I imagine that Galasso just plopped right beside Arnold on the couch, and Arnold is too afraid to move.
I… agree with Galasso, dear god
OH GOOD. I’m not alone.
I feel so conflicted…
No conflict; even a stopped clock is right twice a day, after all. Think of it as Galasso just having a knack for knowing who you want to hire to aid you in destroying your enemies.
I’m surprised me and Glasso aparently agree on something. (Darcy actually is my favourate character in the Thor movie XD)
I’m confused, not entirely new state of mind actually. But…there are two females named in strip: Lucy and Malaya. There are 3 females drawn? If the ‘person’ drinking in the kitchen by the refrigorator is female? I know Galasso and Jesus and Ken and Arnold…Jacob disappears in last panel. Is the kitchen lurker unnamed?
I think Ken and Mayala are walking past Jcob in panel 2, so he’s just out of frame by panel 3.
As for the kitchen lurker… isn’t it obvious? The name is left off to avoid giving away the secret identify of spider-car!
I think that is one of the roommates/Ken’s non-work friends.
I’m hoping all the happiness and nerdery makes Malaya drown herself.
Naw. This will have been the first time she’s ever actually really paid any attention to the stuff that she looks down on so hard. She will sit there and watch all the movies, and decide that this shit is AWESOME.
Heh, funnily enough, that happened to me in Grade 8. I had these two guys who picked on me constantly for reading fantasy all the time, and they started in on me again as I was checking LOTR out for the umteenth time. So I said, very disparagingly, “How do you know it sucks so hard? Have you even read it?”
To their credit, they both tried it, one guy stopped bugging me and became pretty friendly, and the other became a hard-core geek and a good friend who was designing his own role-playing system by the end of junior high. Heh. I want that to happen to Malaya. She wakes up and looks in the mirror one day, and realizes she’s a huge nerd herself.
She’s okay with that upon reflection, though, because suddenly her life is much happier.
Glasso is right. Darcy is very effective at taking out superheros. Of course, I’m biased, as much as I like Thor, I Darcy was my favorite character in the movie.
Glasso shows much wisdom.
My God, Heaven help us if he ever gets superpowers on top of his crazy resurrection tech.
I’m surprised ‘Historical Jesus’ hasn’t tried to sue him for its use.
We’ve still never seen him actually resurrect someone. Sure, we kinda sorta got an explanation for Mike, but Reagan and Jesus are still a big question mark, particularly Jesus since we don’t know where he could have gotten a DNA sample.
So maybe that IS his superpower. He has command over life and death! Kneel before the mighty Galasso, Master of the Reaper!
I am on Team Darcy.
Wait, why is Jesus still wearing the sash? Leslie and Robin arnt there.
But they MIGHT be.
Robin is everywhere
Well that’s because she’s not a…actually good point Galasso. Also no way this won’t end in verbal kombat between Malaya and Lucy.
Willis you ingenious bastard.
This is officially my favorite Galasso line. I will never change my mind.
I just realized Malaya is the new Mike…with boobs
Angie has now appeared twice, both times in the background, both times with what appears to be a beer in her mouth.
So, we now know that she likes beer, and she might be kinda quiet.
Someone has been reading avengers fanfiction…
I’m with Galasso.
So did anyon else just imaginer Kat Dennings in a suit like Black Widow?
No? Just me?