Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
mike
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optimus prime
politics
religion
robin desanto
ronald reagan
roz
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sg ravage
shattered glass
star wars
tni strips
transformers
transformers prime
ultra car
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Someone tell her to shut up before Amber dies of embarrassment.
What reason does she have to mention them?
Amber knew what she was getting in to.
And what was getting into her.
That’s right Robin, ignore everyone’s kids.
Uh Robin, there are children present.
Faz and Wen are also present. Being in the same room as them for five minutes will teach your kid WAY more about sex than the word “crotch”.
Faz is actually the living embodiment of sex.
Do you hear that sound? It’s the sound of many, many people turning celebate.
Excuse me, I must now bathe my brain and body in bleach.
Yes, lots and lots of bleach. I might feel clean then…
You won’t feel any cleaner, but it’ll burn off the nerve endings and you won’t feel anything at all.
Meh. Good enough.
Actually, being in the same room with Faz and Wen would have created a crime scene.
It’s also the source of mental retardation in children due to incest, but we’ll cross that burning bridge another time.
Lol and Wen is still RIGHT behind Faz in the same place she was in the webcomic where she told us where her hand was.
She could’ve phrased that a lot more explicitly.
“What I’m trying to say is they fuck. And babies happen. Babies happened because of their fucking.”
There could have also been diagrams.
I think if you take your kids to Mike’s wedding, you expect a lot worse than this.
Like having your mom in danger but also potential to gain a 5 cent piece.
She’s aware. She’s calling your attention to the presence of children in the last panel!
I want to hire Robin to officiate my wedding.
I didn’t think she could do that anymore since she’s not in Congress. And speaking of which will be seeing Sydney Yus anytime soon? She couldn’t get revenge on Shortpacked all this time since she’s been stuck in Congress, but if she declined to run she’d be back to darken their doorstep.
What does being in Congress have to do with Robin being an Ordained Minister? (via the Internet, I think; can’t recall.)
In California, members of Congress can officiate weddings. You don’t have to be an Ordained Minister. In fact in addition to Ordained Ministers and members of Congress Judges and Civil Marriage Commissioners can officiate weddings as well.
Of course, it’s so easy to be an Ordained Minister of the Unitarian Life Church, that if just want to officiate weddings, you do that.
You can be deputized for a day to officiate a wedding. I did so for a friend’s wedding.
I didn’t know that. That’s pretty awesome!
This actually makes me really eager to know what the hell her speech at the Walky wedding sounded like.
Probably something about how they broke the bed the first time they nookied.
…Why would she know that? I can’t imagine either telling her.
This is the best wedding ever
In one universe, Mike is going to church. In another, he’s getting married. And guess what year it is.
It’s the Year of the Cat?
Oh man. If there are any Cinematic Titanic fans out there who went to their showing of East Meets Watts…a year ago, I think? And saw Dave “Gruber” Allen do an epic riff of that song while J. Elvis Weinsein was singing it, and happen to have caught that on video or know if it’s on the live DVD, please contact me immediately.
Tempted to start a Rifftrax v. Cinematic Titanic, but I am a peaceful creature. Someone find Wack’d what he needs! ! !
Did you know Mike offered to stage a rivalry between the two groups and Joel turned him down? XD
Wait which Mike? lol The white one? Or um, the blond one? The one who wears green a lot? Darn, umm… Well you know what I mean! It sounds like it could be either of them!
No, see, Mike Warner wouldn’t have asked first.
Is there not room for both in your heart?
Year of the Goat?
2012?
2012?
2012 here… 20XX in the DoAverse? (DoA does run on Comic Book Time, after all…)
Well, remember, time is fluid in the Dumbing of Age universe. Next year this scene will be taking place in 2013, and so forth.
The references in this universe seem to ground the time to at east within the decade or so. And so far, it’s kept real time fairly well going by the start of a story arc.
D’awww, Robin. Is it even subtext that she’s talking about Leslie in the sixth panel?
I got that too and my heart shattered. But whatever. Mike & Amber.
And now I’m imaging Robin and Leslie’s crotches as some sort of intricate block puzzle too!
Gods help me!
They are actually Batgammon.
Nooooo!
I “d’awww”:d too, but I was thinking of it more in the context of that she is marrying off the first girl she had a crush on.
quit-blabbering-robin-and-get-on-with-the-ceremony…
“My Fellow Decepticons! As your new leader, I… Who disrupts my coronation!?”
…
What? Is that not what you were going for?
“Coronation, Robin? This is bad comedy.”
“Anyone else care to fill her heels?”
Bravo, Robin. You’ve guaranteed a wedding ceremony few there will forget.
So would that make it a “corny-ation”?
“Monkey Master? Is that you?”
“I’M AN APE!”
*blam!*
I cannot believe I am laughing as hard as I am while at the same time wanting to say aww!!
awwwwwwwhahahahahahawwwwwwahaha
Considering that’s been my response to every Mike/Amber moment, seems pretty appropriate.
And now I’m imagining Mike and Amber’s crotch as some sort of intricate block puzzle.
Bastard.
They are tetris people.
So I made this because of you. I hope you’re happy.
http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/51/tetrispeople.png/
that is so hot
Mouse over for text stating that this is what sex is like:
http://xkcd.com/888/
This is the pinnacle of human achievement!
http://imgur.com/exj9k
It took a moment, but then, I lol’d
I must say I’m still trying to figure it out. Is it their heads, kissing? A closeup on unshaven crotchal areas?
It was supposed to be their heads, piled like Tetris blocks…
…but the thought of Mike’s unshaven pubes defying perspective and physics the same way his head hair does amuses the hell out of me, so sure, that’s their crotches, why not.
fap fap fap
I’m not sure whether Robin is the worst wedding officiator ever, or the best wedding officiator ever.
Maybe Fry could help sort this out?
Best. Definitely best.
Seconded.
If I wasn’t married already… …I’d have used this myself.
Ethan’s eyes in panel three are kinda wiggin’ me out.
He does look a little crosseyed but it’s not immediately noticeable I don’t think.
He’s harnessed the powers of Derpy Hooves.
Oh gods! I can’t stop seeing it now!
Only I can determine what is wiggin’ or not wiggin.’ … Yeah that’s wiggin.
*gets out the micrometer*
I’d say he’s running at a DERP factor of approximately 0.214
And then Dr. Whooves shows up, tells Mike and Amber the need to come with him to save the Universe.
Then Mike knocks out Dr. Whooves, steals his B.A.R.D.I.S (Barn and Relative Dimensions in Space) and goes to fuck up the timestream.
For a dime.
(he’s got a honeymoon to pay for; thus the inflation from a nickel).
Something tells me Faz is going to say his favourite part of the ceremony was Robin’s sermon.
You guys, there’s water coming from my eyes.
You guys please. It’s not stopping.
Oh. That’s too bad dude. That’s hydrophilia. You’re gonna dehydrate and die if you can’t stop it. They’ll find a sad looking mummified corpse lying on a suspiciously wide puddle.
What is that face? Is it disgust? Is it horror?
Depends what face we’re talkin’ about.
Last panel.
I think it’s a mix. !! It’s dorror.
*snif* Beautiful. Just beautiful. I can’t stop crying…buckets of tears.
Damit Robin
Well, after 3 days of reading, I have finally caught up on this comic! I was referenced here from some post on Reddit having to do with the drama tag and figured I’d start from the beginning.
Where the hell have I been since this comic started?
You have a an absolutely awesome couple of weeks ahead of you. Start at the beginning.
Some homily, Robin! Guess today is for crotch-talk in all the Walkyverses.
So has her foot reached her mouth yet?
We should be asking whether her knee is past her uvula yet…
I just got done spending the last week reading all of Shortpacked to fully get the whole story, and this was a great chapter for me to finally be all caught up with.
i find it hilarious that even at a wedding, Sal still has her bike jacket on
…while everyone else is dressed up nicely for the occasion.
Despite the fact she wore a dress for Joyce’s wedding, least from what I can tell from the photo.
Well… the drawing intended to be a photo.
well that image/photo of Joyce’s wedding is an exception
…besides that, she is not wearing a dress Here!
She was one of Joyce’s bridesmaids, so she didn’t really have a choice then.
And yet Walky is in a nice suit. Somehow I didn’t expect Sal to be the sibling that refuses to dress formally.
“YOU CAN’T MAKE ME WEAR A TIE! STAY AWAY FROM MY NECK, YOU WINDSOR NAZIS!”
Robin should be the priest at every wedding. Ever.
Should that day ever come for me, I may have to commission Willis to channel Robin and write a passage for the priest/other official to read. If he’s up for that of course. Or maybe, just copy this and change the names.
Are you going to be the one who fought against two alien races, or the one who sells little plastic cars to grown men?
This is starting to turn into an embarrassing best man speech.
Classic Smosby
That’s a fine mustache your avatar has, AMGP.
Robin doing something nice and awesome without screwing everything up or making anyone sad? Please let it last!
it is not often that I read something like this. It is even less often that I say anything like what I am about to say. However it is with the greatest amount of gravity I can muster when I ask, in pertaining to the wedding sermon…
What the actual fuck?
That’s kind of the punchline to it, yeah.
And as Amber and Mike are unique, so should their ceremony be: and from Robin, she delivered as expected. (and sadly..missing Leslie there a bit?)
There is no way kids should be exposed to this wedding, on the other hand, they are exposed to their parents…so congratulations and happy days.
All together now! D’AWWWWWW…
Robin I love you, I really do. But for cheese’s sake reel it back a bit!
Jesus, Robin. The fact that her speech just made me cry and then THAT, well.
Groom’s origin comic on the right. Bride’s origin comic on the left. Enjoy the awesome ceremony.
I was actually just about to comment on that. You need to switch Jason and Leslie though.
well…except Leslie being on the groom’s side and Jason being on the brides side
besides that…yeah!
Well, you would expect the cast of Roomies/It’s Walky to be on the groom’s side, and the cast of Shortpacked! to be on the bride’s side.
Jason and Leslie are on the wrong sides because Jason is a groomsman and Leslie is a bridesmaid. That is also why they are facing t’other way ’round (most obvious by looking at Joyce)
I was reading the tags, and when I got to “jesus”, I thought for a moment that Willis was just being exasperated at all those names.
pffft
I had to look carefully, but I found him! I found Jesus!
Oh Robin, please do my wedding.
Robin, you’re awesome.
Hell of an aniversary, Willis. To think, Geoff Johns went from an idllyic fanboy to being the creative master of the whole of DC comics in less time.
Puts thinsg into perspective dont it?
What it puts into perspective is that some people can kind of be jerks!
Tongue and cheek I swear Mr. Willis!
I’ve followed you for at least 7 years now with a classic mix of awe and jealousy uselessly reserved for Eisner Winners. I even sent that really creepy semi-rambling list email that went on for like 100 something numbers back when I was like 13. Point is you made something older than most mainstream comic or cartoon universes can ascribe to (even beating out the DCAU) you’ve become an icon of the Transfandom on par with Derrick J Wyatt, your print comics have sold multi-platnum and you can support household on making jokes about Batman and multi-gendered sex. You are an icon of the internet age and a personal hero. You may not be the CCO of DC Comics, but you are David Willis and that’s a hell of an achievement.
So here’s to another 15 and a 15 after that when YOUR kids are going to be kicking ass, from ,me, and the whole of the fandom to you:
DAMN YOU WILLIS!!!!
I love today’s strip something fierce! But could we cram more characters in the background please?
Using “totes” is one of my rage buttons.
Robin must piss you off on a regular basis, then. This is just how she talks.