Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
I KNEW IT
=(
He sure is a brave guy, not many men would be willing to have their willies cut off in such a matter.
he’s going to have it inserted into your mother.
And it won’t even cost a nickel.
It might cost him a lot lot more from I have heard about the US Medical System.
Though I can’t shake the feeling that Mike’s going to attach the chainsaw to his willie.
Not sure if Amber would enjoy that too much somehow.
But it would very groovy.
Only if a hand gets cut off.
Hey, it’s Mike third arm.
…
What?
GrrArg42: Appropriate pic is appropriate
Fred got it. Speechless face is speechless (and frightened).
Moms around the world beware!!
He isn’t having his “willie” cut off… that would have been a much longer exposed part
That’s his ballsack exposed for snipping. Though a chainsaw would make quite a mess.
Poor Mike has to take the fall for Amber’s deal. I know he doesn’t care but still, Amber shouldn’t have made a deal like that since Galasso actually cashing in on it isnt that much of a shock.
I suppose Amber could have her tubes tied, but a vasectomy is cheaper and I believe that’s all there is to this. If Mike cut off his penis he’d only be able to talk about doing people’s mothers in the past tense.
Vasectomies are also a less invasive procedure, comparatively.
It is also less effective by a full .3+ percent. May not seem like a lot but it all depends.
Hope Amber and Mike know he’s not sterile for a while after he gets this done XD.
Well, one would hope they’re stacking multiple forms of contraceptive, which significantly reduces the odds of a second child being born. I could easily see Amber having tubal ligation during the moving process (it’ll likely be a month or two for them to acquire the building and get it ready to receive stock, after which she’ll have to be there to hire employees, order and bring in stock before they officially open their doors) as well as having restarted on the hormonal pills.
Considering that having a kid was kind of a wrench in Mike’s plan, I don’t know if a vasectomy is much of a fall.
So Mike’s uncircumcised or…?
It’s his balls. Hence the “That’s a lot of nuts” gif below the comic.
Is Mike going to cut off his own dick off or is he having a vasectomy?
Yes.
Yes to both?
No, yes he’s going to cut off his own dick or have a vasectomy.
I think both would accomplish his goal…one being much riskier than the other.
mike must really love Amber to get him self fixed for her. Now how will he impregnate all of our mothers?
Who said anything about impregnating them? He only ever mentioned fucking them.
“If you take the venom out of a snake what do you have? You’ve got a… belt.”
Try telling that to a Burmese Python.
Galasso’s taking Amber leaving quite well, for a dictator.
He’s great like that. A great dictator, if you will.
If slightly impeded by his lack of facial hair.
Why would he be mad? She’s helping spread his kingdom.
…Galasso doesn’t know what “born” means, does he?
TIMBER!
They’re going to need more than a chainsaw.
A lumberjack as well.
And he’s okay.
And he sleeps all night and he work all day.
HE’S A LUMBERJACK AND HE’S OKAY
This isn’t *necessarily* the best way to keep Amber from breeding, of course…
Is Galasso smiling in the back, because it sure looks like he’s smiling and I don’t think we’ve ever seen that.
He looks like a blank robot.
A Kung Pow reference? Nice. That film is undeniably stupid, but it still cracks me up.
I don’t understand what’s happening
DAMMIT, DAZED, THE WORLD DOES NOT STOP AND START AT YOUR CONVENIENCE! [/waltersobchak]
So… is that Mike’s weenus?
Yeah, it’s name is Biggus Weenus.
I have a very good fwiend in Wome named Biggus Weenus!
Biggus Warner Weenus.
*fists bump table*
SMUT WITHOUT WARNING!
*fists bump table*
SMUT WITHOUT WARNING!
Smut is written, I think. These are pictures so it’s okay.
Plus just Nudity doesn’t equal Porn or “Smut” if it did anatomy books would be porn.
Ahh, that takes me back…
…I don’t understand.
Personally, Amber, I’d be going for the hysterectomy. The deal only said YOUR second-born.
And make sure he doesn’t still have any genetic material from which he can make snow globes. Just in case.
Then again, I will point out here that due to preexisting medical problems, I’m kinda biased.
I also am confused. Why must Mike get fixed, and how does it relate to what Galasso said?
Either I totally missed something, or I’ve totally forgotten something, because I have no idea what’s going on, either.
Amber promised Galasso her second-born for her assistant manager position.
I’m glad to see that Mike is prepared for the forest battle that occurs before the surgury. Most people forget the the trees hate it when men “decide” to have a vasectomy after every time they made a quip of getting wood.
Oh wait, now I remember. Second born. Ha. That’s funny.
*sigh*
People, it’s called a vasectomy!
That’s his scrotum! (more unscientifically, his “ballsack”)
Yeah, I said it 20 minutes ago.
Clearly you are no republic serial villain.
But, I don’t have a giant squid.
Squids are out.
Giant sharks with lasers attached to their fricken’ forehead are in.
Sorry, sharks are on the endangered species list.
I think I rather have the Rabbit of Caerbannog.
Sorry sharks went out at least five years ago, now for top notch villains it’s giant spiders, though signs are it’ll go back to mind control or zombie armies in a year or two. ;D
Vasectomies tend to have more SNIP SNIP and less VRRRRRRRRM!
…my gravatar says all there is to say…
About the VRRRRRRM part. The snips are ok.
Snip snip is part A of the plan. The VRRRRRRRRM part comes afterwards because he needs to stop ALL child production, and a vasectomy isn’t a powerful enough countermeasure.
And possibly because Abducteepowers.
Take off and nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
And this prevents Amber from having Galasso’s baby…How? How in Hell did anyone persuade Mike that this was the way to go here…humm, well he did work for Galasso and thinking about a Galasso offspring, based on what we know of Con-she’s not bad…but still. Yeah okay so I see how Amber could present that to Mike. But, still, damn Willis as twisted as some of your arcs have been, this one is just too far off the beaten track to track.
She’s not having Galasso’s baby, she just promised any second-born spawn she had would go to him. This doesn’t stop Galasso from somehow impregnating her, but it stops her husband from impregnating her again.
And maybe Mike suggested it; some guys come up with that idea on their own. “I think one AntiChrist is enough from me, don’t you think?”
That seems logical. Two anti-christs would cancel each other out. There’s also the possibility that Mike is the way he is because he’s an only child and he wants Donna to have the same upbringing that made him who he is.
“Now honey, what do we say to the kids at preschool?”
“I fucked your dad for a nickel!”
“No, Donna, it’s a dime now. Inflation means we have to charge more.”
“Mike, don’t start her on economics just yet, she’s four.”
Have a virtual high five.
Obviously the charge is going to be a quarter, college doesn’t pay for itself, y’know.
She was never going to ‘have Galasso’s baby’. The deal was Galasso would get her second born to … well raise as his second born, for the purposes of being his heir since he’s dismissed Conquest.
Since she’s married to Mike and doesn’t plan on having intercourse with anyone else he’s getting snipped. Its kind of been a storyarc long in the making.
As for how Amber got Mike to do it, easy enough. It ruins Galasso’s scheme to use their second born as an heir to his empire, by not having one.
Is this going to lead to a storyline where Dan DiDio visits Shortpacked again to plug comics and Lucy kicks him in the bozaks?
No. She’s gonna hit him in the bozaks with Mike’s bozaks.
Is it just me, or does Mike have three arms? Or is that half a stump of an arm coming out of his right elbow?
and if that’s supposed to be his scrotum, why is it coming out of his stomach?
After reflection, I think it’s just a window on his shaved crotch.
For the confused people, Amber promised Galasso her second born in exchange for a promotion: http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/02-the-new-girl/promotion/
Looking at that URL, it just hit me, full-force, that Leslie and Robin have been done for almost two years.
Kinda lays the whole “should the two move on” thing to rest, doesn’t it?
>Kinda lays the whole “should the two move on” thing to rest, doesn’t it?
NO!
I think that judging by the comments so far, this whole comic is a clever ploy to for you to call us all idiots Mr. Willis, and if so, well played. But I’d just like to go ahead and say that that only looks like one nut. Therefore sir, I submit your gif is invalid.
Also, I’m surprised you’re just straight up showing genitals. I know you did it back in the IW days, but I’m pretty sure it’s unprecedented for SP, and that takes balls. PUN FUCKING INTENDED.
Intentional pun fucking? I see, you are…
*dons sunglasses*
…punsexual.
YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I honestly thought that part of the ‘Amber promises Galasso her second born” plot would be that Amber had twins, and then drama would unfold from that.
Maybe she was going to, but Donna killed and absorbed her twin in the uterus.
Or ate it, and in thirty years or so it’ll emerge from Donna a fully-grown midget.
And it will be small and deformed, but better than her at everything.
Wow, I almost forgot what this was a reference to.
http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/02-the-new-girl/promotion/
But I can never forget Kung Pow Enter the Fist. That movie was the best. I am still waiting for the return of the Chosen One damn it.
Don’t worry!
One day Rodimus Prime will re-rise from our ranks and use the Power of the Matrix to light Shortpacked’s darkest hour.
GUYS, I JUST FIGURED IT OUT.
Mike is getting the surgery so that he and Amber can’t have a second child.
Man, I thought Galasso was trying to get Mike’s sperm, and I was like “What?”
My question is this to the guys saying Mike must love Amber to get fixed for her: What does that have to do with anything?
Amber could have suggested she get her tubes tied but it is invasive a Vasectomy is not (I know because I have had it done since my husband’s original country wouldn’t do a Vasectomy for him – that and I prefer he be able to have kids if something happens to me).
If this storyline would have been reversed would you have said that Amber must love Mike a lot to get her tubes tied?
Not trying to start anything I’m generally curious.
I dunno how painful the surgeries are, comparatively, but I’m relatively certain that tube-tying is far easier to reverse than getting your balls cut off.
Plus, Amber’s surgery would be internal. Mike’s gonna have a tangible part of him missing.
It depends on how much either party wants another kid, too.
Doctor told me that there is no reversing the Tubal period. Increased rate (70%) of tubal pregnancies (which can kill a woman) IF it works – there like 2% chance it would work.
Vasectomies are easier to reverse, and as I said the guy doesn’t have to be cut through layers of fat and muscle. It took me almost 3 months to fully heal – the first month I was “Healed” but I still couldn’t put too much pressure or have too much movement in the area. (They cut under my belly button and did it with tiny instruments).
Also cost – Vasectomies are cheaper.
Okay then! Thanks for the help! I feel more informed now.
I must say that Trope is awesome XD.
It makes me feel smiley whenever I use it.
My understanding is that the reversal procedures have gotten better for tubal ligation in the past few years (somewhere in the 50% to 70% range from one study I’ve read), but still present enough added complication risks that invetro is still a preferred alternative for those who later decide to have another child.
I’d look again. I’ve talked to more then just the doctor that gave my tubal. The risk of tubal pregnancies is too great. This is the tie and cut/burn method mine is.
Now, if they got they have another type but it is not a burn and tie operation – the operation just uses plastic ties to tie off the eggs from the uterus. That is reversible because it is only a matter of removing the ties. However, the effectiveness of it is greatly reduced as eggs can and do get through.
Vesectomies can be reversed “pretty easily.” At least, they can be reversed. My uncle had his reversed and then had two more sons.
The vasectomy is an outpatient surgery. Get it done and then go home. The tube tying surgery is an actual operating room with recovery surgery. The vasectomy is far easier to get done.
Now, the fact is, they’re both painful, since they’re both surgery. But most things involving the male genitalia is much easier, since everything is on the outside.
Funnily my Tubal was outpatient (I still went in operating room), but yes, there are forms which are still used which are not.
But use of a chainsaw to do the procedure in the first place negates the likelyhood of a successful reversal in the future.
I didn’t realize until I saw Willis’s twitter feed that was Mike’s scrotum. I’d thought it was part of his leg… funny lookin’ scrotum.
Man, Mike has the world’s smoothest-looking scrotum.
I think the sack has to be shaved before they snip.
And it’s usually best to do that yourself, otherwise you can never go see that barber EVER again.
I’m not talking about the hair, I’m getting at the general wrinkliness and texture of scrotums not being particularly smooth.
I have now seen Mike’s scrotum. You really know how to give your readers what they want.
Is Galasso going gray?
1.) Well, there goes that drama seed.
2.) I want to see Mike get his junk mutilated with a chainsaw. No, I don’t think he’d handle it stoically.
That chainsaw looks familiar.
(by which i mean it’s blue.)
That’s not his dong, that’s is nuts. Don’t you guys know how vasectomies work?
Y’know, that really is the nicest compliment Galasso’s ever paid to anyone.
Balls are overrated anyway.
Finally, someone who agrees.
I keep waiting for someone to say this explicitly, but no one does:
A vasectomy is not the same thing as neuter surgery. A man doesn’t lose his balls. All they do is cut and cauterize the vas deferens (the tubes by which the sperm travel from the testicles to the penis). The body still produces sperm, and the male still ejaculates, but there won’t be any sperm in the semen.
As far as the chainsaw, I figure Mike is just demonstrating his commitment. They would have told him in advance that he gets to keep his balls. (Though I wonder if they told him that there’s still a window of time between the surgery and the actual inability to impregnate.)
Perhaps he simply doesn’t like his balls. I remember the few times I tried watching porns the sound of them slapping against skin irritated the hell out of me. And they’re damn near impossible to shave or clean without sending oneself into agony, to say nothing of the easy target they make for other people.
Come to think of it, why haven’t I had my balls removed yet? I should go take care of that.
He’s an abductee. They’re going to need some way to get through the scrotum…
Kinda disturbed to find out how many people think vasectomies are anything like castration! Maybe this strip was needed to expose a need for more vasectomy education. Thank you, David Willis.
so I’m not sure if anyone else has said it or not but I’ve only just now noticed Amber’s hair being longer. It looks really cute!!
Also obligatory balls comment