JACOB X ULTRACAR Woo!
Jacob/Ultracar/Malaya = OT3.
There’s a new OTP in the toy store.
Oh my God, that’s up there with “They have GAY BARS now?!” and “This man’s genitals are part of a very important business deal” as the funniest dialogue in Shortpacked.
“and that doesn’t count cuz I fantasized about boinking y-
Wait, somebody actually got it on with Ninja Rick?!!
Wait until someone tells you whom.
What has happened to Ninja Rick? Last tiem we saw him he tried to attack Les…did he get fired for that?
Oh man, oh man. That’s gonna be sweet!
AND now I feel dumb because I just remembered the Faz/Ninja Rick thing.
Screw whom, tell me when. I completely missed and/or forgot about that!
A ninja can never sheath his sword until it has tasted blood.
Faz, believe it or not.
Let me show you a graph of all the employees that have banged Ninja Rick.
If I had a graph about Faz for every time Faz pulled a graph I’d have a singularity of graphs.
I suggest you get the brain bleach when you find out.
“Faz registers a posterior breach.”
If I remember correctly, I think there was something with Faz and things not going quite as planned…
That was the second time actually, the first was very much planned and was a misguided attempt to take Ethan’s job.
Most tried to wipe their memory of the moment XD
Under other circumstances I would question how Jacob knows about Faz and Ninja Rick, but between Faz, Mike, and Robin it’s not that hard to envision a scenario. And it probably wasn’t even the mostly hideously awkward conversation to take place in the store that week.
I’m sure he’s seen Robin’s chalkboard
Jacob…don’t fight Ken over a girl. You’ll plan to ask her out and Ken will show up with on his arm.
..or he’ll use some of his sweet StreetFighter moves.
Looks like we got a new OTPAP3.
I know OTP, but what’s the AP3?
A Possible 3-some.
What’s OTP? I see it around, but don’t know that one yet…
OTP is one true parring- the (usually fictional) couple you like the most.
Ken? Does Jacob think Ken and Malaya are a thing? Or is he counting Conquest as an ex-employee of Shortpacked?
He thinks Ken and Ethan are hooking up at Botcons.
Ex-employee counts, I guess.
Sidney Yus doesn’t boink anyone, IIRC.
Sidney Yus isn’t there anymore.
Sidney Yus seems like the kinda gal who’d be pretty scary in the bedroom.
What you call scary, I call kink-ay.
She doesn’t count.
Cos she was never there as an employee comicwise, she only showed up as someone to be fired.
Sydney is not currently an employee of the store, and Robin specified people here. Jacob may not even know about her; he showed up after the Axis of Something showdown.
Did they forget about Galasso? Robin said “who here hasn’t”, not “who works here hasn’t”.
but…Conquest happened…who knooooows.
HOT MAN ON CAR ACTION!
… Wait, no. that’s not hot at all. Except maybe in the very literal sense, if the car’s engine is running.
Rule 34(d): Everything on the internet is porn to someone.
*waves* That would be me. Jacob and a hot car… Mmmm! (Although I can’t say UltraCar would really count. Maybe an older Corvette, or a Batmobile…)
Thursday’s comic: full-page spread of Jacob standing behind Ultra Car, clearly shirtless, pants visible to the side, and Ultra Car looking horrified.
Or Ultra Car looking really, really happy and *me* looking horrified.
WHY HAS NOONE MENTIONED HISTORICAL JESUS YET!?
Jesus and Ronnie are gettin’ it on in the back room right now.
Zombies gotta watch each other’s backs, y’know?
He’s on a break.
Jesus loves everyone… sexually
And thus another ship was born.
I don’t think that’s how nautical vessels come to be
Well, you see, when a steel foundry and a drydock love each other very much….
Oh… I guess I should stop trying then…
I have made that 2nd panel face when I’ve been in toy stores.
I hope we all have. Otherwise.. you’re just have no soul. Or have fun.
Oh come on, lots of people have been inside Ultracar. XD
… I don’t think Malaya ever actually HAD SEX with other employees. She kissed Leslie the one time, but that’s it.
Other than that? Yeah, I got nothin’. Historical Jesus and Galasso are still question marks, but they’re… pretty much it.
That’s my objection, too. One kiss doesn’t count as a ‘boink’ in my book. Why is no one else objecting??
They don’t know boinkology like we do, apparently.
It could be that the people in the room don’t know the Malaya and Leslie only kissed. Just a possibility.
That’s right Amber. Tell him to stick it* in the tailpipe.
*it referring to a potato.
Does Ultracar even have tailpipes? I’m not acutally sure, since he’s some kinda super vehicle powered by energon made from dilithium or something.
Faz’s girlfriend/sister (?) doesn’t work there…did someone boink him and I just don’t remember?
Two words. Ninja Rick.
Two, possibly three times.
If Ultra-Car and Jacob get it on, the effect will be “auto-erotic.”
Hey! New character! That’s exciting. She’s got a tag and everything: does she exist in any other universes?
Oh, derp. I didn’t realize that I’d missed yesterday’s comic.
Better than all the people who weirdly seemed to remember her from that one-off strip from over a year ago but apparently weren’t aware yesterday’s comic had tags.
To be fair, that comic was VERRRRRY highly publicized, commented on, and controversial. If you aren’t a regular reader of Sp! and you only saw one Sp! comic this past year, it was probably that one.
Like her design, very cute, but her hair looks a bit gray. I assume she’s younger like Jacob, not older like Ethan, right?
yeah. She was a little girl in 2003 watching teen titans.
and that’s the moment when jacob had an epiphany about ultra car
“All this time searching, and the love of my life has been staring me in the face all along! I’ve been so blind! I must run to him quickly!”
I think it says something about this comic when the possibility of that ship isn’t even remotely the most disturbing thing to come out of it.
OKAY WHICH STAFF MEMBER FUCKED REAGAN
He no longer works there, so he probably doesn’t count.
But that’s the boring answer, so I’m just gonna say Mike did. So he could record it and send the tape to Fox News.
or so he could tell his kids he fucked thier dad
Or so he could say he fucked the father of reaganomics.
Reagan fucked them all with trickle down economics.
Better question, who fucked Jesus?
Maybe Jesus and Reagan have a thing? That kind of makes sense.
It’s official. I love Lucy.
I see what u did there!
wait, this must be foreshadowing! Ultracar gets with Lucy!
Incoming cool character!
Perhaps we’ll get more TV Teen Titans None-Sex-Prop Starfire??????
You mean makes me want to destroy every time she speaks super annoying Starfire? No thanks.
She and Beastboy made the Teen Titans cartoon unwatchable to me.
“Destroy my TV every time”
Damn no editing.
I feel your pain.
About the no edit thing, not the Starfire thing.
Beastboy was a little annoying, though, but I always thought that was the point.
She no longer gives you “the boner”?
Waiiiit, Jacob didn’t get it on with Amber, did he? I remember there was a time when he did in his dreams, but that was just a dream…right?
I hope she’s asexual.
YAY NEW GIRL! Will she become a new member of shortpacked? Will Ken get the girl? Will Amber ever be able to call Bullshit on Robin? And will Jacob & Ultra Car get together?! Tune in on the next episode of Shortpacked!
1) Probably she will
2) She just has to wait for the right time
3) It’s just a matter of time
That’s my pronostic.
Shes the Teen Titans cartoon fan right? Oh no that means if she gets a job we might get jokes and references to that cartoon. I know people liked it but I hated it. Especially when it tried to be serous.
Well now I’m tempted to reference it every day.
To go with the trend, I also say Yeeeeeeeesssssssss
Wait! Spite fuels this inspiration! I must be negative to feed the spite!
TV Teen Titans Starfire sucked! She’s about boobs & BJ’s and stuff! Personality & pluck is bad.
Who else thought of the Duck Tales theme song when she said cars and airplanes?
Well, now I did.
What, is there danger lurking behind you? Some kind of stranger out to find you? Well, here’s what you should do: hang on to this. (hands lordphulish some Ducktales.)
Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes. It’s a duck blur.
I love you.
OK, I’m fairly certain that Lucy was a SEMME agent….
I think IW! ended in 2005, and in 2003 Lucy was a little girl watching Teen Titans. Her first strip also said she’s in college now, so I think she would have been much too young to be in Semme.
I’m fairly certain Lucy was still a child when SEMME disbanded.
At this point, we are essentially back to Amber’s original character model.
new girl looks really…gray? srsly, she’s grayish pale and it scares me 8(
it looks like she’s from a completely diffirent comic
she seems interesting thus far, though :/
Ladies and Gentlemen,
…Launch the ships.
Was thinking the same thing. Despite having a daughter, it has yet to be confirmed if he diddled a woman…. or for the fact if he even knows how that is done.
Ken hasn’t. He boinked the competition. And Malaya hasn’t, she just made out with an employee. Galasso hasn’t though he has orchestrated a few.
Whoa Lucy’s doing the exact same hand gesture as Amber in the background! In panel 1.
Man, in light of recent strips, this has become hilarious/scary.
If somebody had told me in the future we could have Jacob/utra car shipping I would’ve called that person insane.
Is this the same girl that loved Starfire from 2003-2006, or do I just have a rare kind of racism that only surfaces when I read web-comics?
Oh, apparently those “tag” things can be clicked on. Did everyone else know about this but me?
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