Shortpacked! by David Willis

Toys are serious business.
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by David Willis on September 4, 2012 at 12:01 am
  • 05 - Merger and Restructuring

└ Tags: amber, jacob, lucy, robin desanto

Discussion (128) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    September 4, 2012 at 12:01 am | # | Reply

    JACOB X ULTRACAR Woo!

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 4, 2012 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

      Jacob/Ultracar/Malaya = OT3.

  2. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    September 4, 2012 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

    There’s a new OTP in the toy store.

  3. Tristan J
    Tristan J
    September 4, 2012 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    Oh my God, that’s up there with “They have GAY BARS now?!” and “This man’s genitals are part of a very important business deal” as the funniest dialogue in Shortpacked.

  4. JoeMerl
    JoeMerl
    September 4, 2012 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    …

    OTP!

  5. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 4, 2012 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    “and that doesn’t count cuz I fantasized about boinking y-
    I mean…yeah”

  6. Ratso
    Ratso
    September 4, 2012 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

    Wait, somebody actually got it on with Ninja Rick?!!

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      September 4, 2012 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

      Wait until someone tells you whom.

      • Jon
        Jon
        September 4, 2012 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

        Faz?

        • Cavemano727
          Cavemano727
          September 4, 2012 at 2:56 am | # | Reply

          Good times

          • Freezze12
            Freezze12
            September 4, 2012 at 2:06 pm | # | Reply

            What has happened to Ninja Rick? Last tiem we saw him he tried to attack Les…did he get fired for that?

      • Tom Speelman
        Tom Speelman
        September 4, 2012 at 5:10 pm | # | Reply

        Oh man, oh man. That’s gonna be sweet!

        • Tom Speelman
          Tom Speelman
          September 4, 2012 at 5:14 pm | # | Reply

          AND now I feel dumb because I just remembered the Faz/Ninja Rick thing.

      • Volkai
        Volkai
        October 17, 2012 at 9:50 am | # | Reply

        Screw whom, tell me when. I completely missed and/or forgot about that!

    • Wonder Wig
      Wonder Wig
      September 4, 2012 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

      A ninja can never sheath his sword until it has tasted blood.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 4, 2012 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

      Faz, believe it or not.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 4, 2012 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

      Let me show you a graph of all the employees that have banged Ninja Rick.

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        September 4, 2012 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

        If I had a graph about Faz for every time Faz pulled a graph I’d have a singularity of graphs.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 4, 2012 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

      I suggest you get the brain bleach when you find out. :D

      • Eelektross
        Eelektross
        September 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm | # | Reply

        “Faz registers a posterior breach.”

    • Inara
      Inara
      September 4, 2012 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      If I remember correctly, I think there was something with Faz and things not going quite as planned…

      • Shade
        Shade
        September 4, 2012 at 3:03 am | # | Reply

        That was the second time actually, the first was very much planned and was a misguided attempt to take Ethan’s job.

    • Romanticide
      Romanticide
      September 4, 2012 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      Most tried to wipe their memory of the moment XD

    • Greenygal
      Greenygal
      September 4, 2012 at 12:41 am | # | Reply

      Under other circumstances I would question how Jacob knows about Faz and Ninja Rick, but between Faz, Mike, and Robin it’s not that hard to envision a scenario. And it probably wasn’t even the mostly hideously awkward conversation to take place in the store that week.

      • Historyman68
        Historyman68
        September 4, 2012 at 3:35 am | # | Reply

        I’m sure he’s seen Robin’s chalkboard

  7. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 4, 2012 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

    Jacob…don’t fight Ken over a girl. You’ll plan to ask her out and Ken will show up with on his arm.

    • Pyr05
      Pyr05
      September 4, 2012 at 12:37 am | # | Reply

      ..or he’ll use some of his sweet StreetFighter moves.

  8. Wonder Wig
    Wonder Wig
    September 4, 2012 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Looks like we got a new OTPAP3.

    • That Oracle
      That Oracle
      September 4, 2012 at 10:32 am | # | Reply

      I know OTP, but what’s the AP3?

      • Wonder Wig
        Wonder Wig
        September 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm | # | Reply

        A Possible 3-some.

        • Peachkid
          Peachkid
          September 4, 2012 at 6:54 pm | # | Reply

          What’s OTP? I see it around, but don’t know that one yet…

          • alisays
            alisays
            September 4, 2012 at 8:49 pm | # | Reply

            OTP is one true parring- the (usually fictional) couple you like the most.

  9. T Campbell
    T Campbell
    September 4, 2012 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Ken? Does Jacob think Ken and Malaya are a thing? Or is he counting Conquest as an ex-employee of Shortpacked?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 4, 2012 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      He thinks Ken and Ethan are hooking up at Botcons.

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 4, 2012 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      Ex-employee counts, I guess.

  10. Aizat
    Aizat
    September 4, 2012 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Sidney Yus doesn’t boink anyone, IIRC.

    • awa64
      awa64
      September 4, 2012 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

      Sidney Yus isn’t there anymore.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        September 4, 2012 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

        Sidney Yus seems like the kinda gal who’d be pretty scary in the bedroom.

        • Pyr05
          Pyr05
          September 4, 2012 at 12:35 am | # | Reply

          What you call scary, I call kink-ay.

    • Plasma Mongoose
      Plasma Mongoose
      September 4, 2012 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

      She doesn’t count.

      • Aizat
        Aizat
        September 4, 2012 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

        Why?

        • Plasma Mongoose
          Plasma Mongoose
          September 4, 2012 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

          Cos she was never there as an employee comicwise, she only showed up as someone to be fired.

        • Greenygal
          Greenygal
          September 4, 2012 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

          Sydney is not currently an employee of the store, and Robin specified people here. Jacob may not even know about her; he showed up after the Axis of Something showdown.

  11. Databean
    Databean
    September 4, 2012 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Did they forget about Galasso? Robin said “who here hasn’t”, not “who works here hasn’t”.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 4, 2012 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

      but…Conquest happened…who knooooows.

  12. Nifar
    Nifar
    September 4, 2012 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

    HOT MAN ON CAR ACTION!

    … Wait, no. that’s not hot at all. Except maybe in the very literal sense, if the car’s engine is running.

    • Valdrax
      Valdrax
      September 4, 2012 at 1:02 am | # | Reply

      Rule 34(d): Everything on the internet is porn to someone.

      • Chibi Squirt
        Chibi Squirt
        September 4, 2012 at 11:39 am | # | Reply

        *waves* That would be me. Jacob and a hot car… Mmmm! (Although I can’t say UltraCar would really count. Maybe an older Corvette, or a Batmobile…)

  13. awa64
    awa64
    September 4, 2012 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

    Thursday’s comic: full-page spread of Jacob standing behind Ultra Car, clearly shirtless, pants visible to the side, and Ultra Car looking horrified.

    Or Ultra Car looking really, really happy and *me* looking horrified.

  14. Yotomoe
    Yotomoe
    September 4, 2012 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

    WHY HAS NOONE MENTIONED HISTORICAL JESUS YET!?

    • Nifar
      Nifar
      September 4, 2012 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

      Jesus and Ronnie are gettin’ it on in the back room right now.

      Zombies gotta watch each other’s backs, y’know?

    • Aizat
      Aizat
      September 4, 2012 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

      He’s on a break.

    • stikibunn
      stikibunn
      September 4, 2012 at 7:37 am | # | Reply

      Jesus loves everyone… sexually

  15. Philippe G.
    Philippe G.
    September 4, 2012 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

    And thus another ship was born.

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 4, 2012 at 12:18 am | # | Reply

      I don’t think that’s how nautical vessels come to be

      • Davidus Rex
        Davidus Rex
        September 4, 2012 at 1:23 am | # | Reply

        Well, you see, when a steel foundry and a drydock love each other very much….

      • Cavemano727
        Cavemano727
        September 4, 2012 at 3:00 am | # | Reply

        Oh… I guess I should stop trying then…

  16. Kschenke
    Kschenke
    September 4, 2012 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

    I have made that 2nd panel face when I’ve been in toy stores.

    • Pyr05
      Pyr05
      September 4, 2012 at 12:32 am | # | Reply

      I hope we all have. Otherwise.. you’re just have no soul. Or have fun.

  17. timemonkey
    timemonkey
    September 4, 2012 at 12:18 am | # | Reply

    Oh come on, lots of people have been inside Ultracar. XD

  18. Regalli
    Regalli
    September 4, 2012 at 12:20 am | # | Reply

    … I don’t think Malaya ever actually HAD SEX with other employees. She kissed Leslie the one time, but that’s it.

    Other than that? Yeah, I got nothin’. Historical Jesus and Galasso are still question marks, but they’re… pretty much it.

    • Jason
      Jason
      September 4, 2012 at 10:02 am | # | Reply

      That’s my objection, too. One kiss doesn’t count as a ‘boink’ in my book. Why is no one else objecting??

      • Regalli
        Regalli
        September 4, 2012 at 10:09 am | # | Reply

        They don’t know boinkology like we do, apparently.

      • kschenke
        kschenke
        September 4, 2012 at 2:05 pm | # | Reply

        It could be that the people in the room don’t know the Malaya and Leslie only kissed. Just a possibility.

  19. Pyr05
    Pyr05
    September 4, 2012 at 12:30 am | # | Reply

    That’s right Amber. Tell him to stick it* in the tailpipe.

    *it referring to a potato.

    • theotakux
      theotakux
      September 4, 2012 at 7:52 am | # | Reply

      Does Ultracar even have tailpipes? I’m not acutally sure, since he’s some kinda super vehicle powered by energon made from dilithium or something.

  20. Dave
    Dave
    September 4, 2012 at 12:34 am | # | Reply

    Faz’s girlfriend/sister (?) doesn’t work there…did someone boink him and I just don’t remember?

    • Pyr05
      Pyr05
      September 4, 2012 at 12:40 am | # | Reply

      Two words. Ninja Rick.

      • Shade
        Shade
        September 4, 2012 at 3:05 am | # | Reply

        Two, possibly three times.

  21. Ancestral Hamster
    Ancestral Hamster
    September 4, 2012 at 12:43 am | # | Reply

    If Ultra-Car and Jacob get it on, the effect will be “auto-erotic.”

    • Cavemano727
      Cavemano727
      September 4, 2012 at 3:03 am | # | Reply

      YEEAAAAHHHHHHH

  22. Leorale
    Leorale
    September 4, 2012 at 12:44 am | # | Reply

    Hey! New character! That’s exciting. She’s got a tag and everything: does she exist in any other universes?

    • Leorale
      Leorale
      September 4, 2012 at 12:57 am | # | Reply

      Oh, derp. I didn’t realize that I’d missed yesterday’s comic.

      • Valdrax
        Valdrax
        September 4, 2012 at 1:04 am | # | Reply

        Better than all the people who weirdly seemed to remember her from that one-off strip from over a year ago but apparently weren’t aware yesterday’s comic had tags.

        • Historyman68
          Historyman68
          September 4, 2012 at 3:39 am | # | Reply

          To be fair, that comic was VERRRRRY highly publicized, commented on, and controversial. If you aren’t a regular reader of Sp! and you only saw one Sp! comic this past year, it was probably that one.

  23. Doctor_Who
    Doctor_Who
    September 4, 2012 at 12:48 am | # | Reply

    Like her design, very cute, but her hair looks a bit gray. I assume she’s younger like Jacob, not older like Ethan, right?

    • Yotomoe
      Yotomoe
      September 4, 2012 at 1:01 am | # | Reply

      yeah. She was a little girl in 2003 watching teen titans.

  24. MR C
    MR C
    September 4, 2012 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

    and that’s the moment when jacob had an epiphany about ultra car

    • That Oracle
      That Oracle
      September 4, 2012 at 10:28 am | # | Reply

      “All this time searching, and the love of my life has been staring me in the face all along! I’ve been so blind! I must run to him quickly!”

  25. Doomdarts
    Doomdarts
    September 4, 2012 at 1:13 am | # | Reply

    I think it says something about this comic when the possibility of that ship isn’t even remotely the most disturbing thing to come out of it.

  26. invisiblemoose
    invisiblemoose
    September 4, 2012 at 1:32 am | # | Reply

    OKAY WHICH STAFF MEMBER FUCKED REAGAN

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 4, 2012 at 1:57 am | # | Reply

      He no longer works there, so he probably doesn’t count.

      But that’s the boring answer, so I’m just gonna say Mike did. So he could record it and send the tape to Fox News.

      • Yotomoe
        Yotomoe
        September 4, 2012 at 2:57 am | # | Reply

        or so he could tell his kids he fucked thier dad

        • Shade
          Shade
          September 4, 2012 at 3:07 am | # | Reply

          Or so he could say he fucked the father of reaganomics.

          • lordphulish
            lordphulish
            September 4, 2012 at 8:24 am | # | Reply

            Reagan fucked them all with trickle down economics.

    • Crumplepunch
      Crumplepunch
      September 4, 2012 at 2:12 pm | # | Reply

      Better question, who fucked Jesus?

      Maybe Jesus and Reagan have a thing? That kind of makes sense.

  27. Laura
    Laura
    September 4, 2012 at 3:02 am | # | Reply

    It’s official. I love Lucy.

    • Jeff K!
      Jeff K!
      September 4, 2012 at 12:33 pm | # | Reply

      Riiiickyyyyy! WwwwaaaaaahhhhHH!

    • Keroshino
      Keroshino
      September 4, 2012 at 5:06 pm | # | Reply

      I see what u did there!

  28. guavajagular
    guavajagular
    September 4, 2012 at 3:17 am | # | Reply

    wait, this must be foreshadowing! Ultracar gets with Lucy!

  29. Dr. Z
    Dr. Z
    September 4, 2012 at 6:08 am | # | Reply

    WooT!

    Incoming cool character!

    Perhaps we’ll get more TV Teen Titans None-Sex-Prop Starfire??????

    • Creativerealms
      Creativerealms
      September 4, 2012 at 8:16 am | # | Reply

      You mean makes me want to destroy every time she speaks super annoying Starfire? No thanks.

      She and Beastboy made the Teen Titans cartoon unwatchable to me.

      • Creativerealms
        Creativerealms
        September 4, 2012 at 8:18 am | # | Reply

        “Destroy my TV every time”

        Damn no editing.

        • Dr. Z
          Dr. Z
          September 5, 2012 at 7:00 am | # | Reply

          I feel your pain.

          About the no edit thing, not the Starfire thing.

          Beastboy was a little annoying, though, but I always thought that was the point.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        September 4, 2012 at 8:25 am | # | Reply

        She no longer gives you “the boner”?

        • Dr. Z
          Dr. Z
          September 5, 2012 at 7:01 am | # | Reply

          Lol.

  30. Jimmy
    Jimmy
    September 4, 2012 at 6:13 am | # | Reply

    Waiiiit, Jacob didn’t get it on with Amber, did he? I remember there was a time when he did in his dreams, but that was just a dream…right?

  31. Mysterious Stranger
    Mysterious Stranger
    September 4, 2012 at 7:28 am | # | Reply

    I hope she’s asexual.

  32. Ren
    Ren
    September 4, 2012 at 8:05 am | # | Reply

    YAY NEW GIRL! Will she become a new member of shortpacked? Will Ken get the girl? Will Amber ever be able to call Bullshit on Robin? And will Jacob & Ultra Car get together?! Tune in on the next episode of Shortpacked!

    • Maycroft
      Maycroft
      September 4, 2012 at 8:10 am | # | Reply

      1) Probably she will

      2) She just has to wait for the right time

      3) It’s just a matter of time

      That’s my pronostic.

    • Chibi Squirt
      Chibi Squirt
      September 4, 2012 at 11:43 am | # | Reply

      <3 Soap.

  33. Creativerealms
    Creativerealms
    September 4, 2012 at 8:20 am | # | Reply

    Shes the Teen Titans cartoon fan right? Oh no that means if she gets a job we might get jokes and references to that cartoon. I know people liked it but I hated it. Especially when it tried to be serous.

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      September 4, 2012 at 9:27 am | # | Reply

      Well now I’m tempted to reference it every day.

      • Reepicheep-chan
        Reepicheep-chan
        September 4, 2012 at 11:29 am | # | Reply

        Yesssssssssssss.

        • Crumplepunch
          Crumplepunch
          September 4, 2012 at 2:09 pm | # | Reply

          YESSSSSSSS.

      • Tacos
        Tacos
        September 4, 2012 at 2:54 pm | # | Reply

        To go with the trend, I also say Yeeeeeeeesssssssss

      • Dr. Z
        Dr. Z
        September 5, 2012 at 7:03 am | # | Reply

        Yessssssssssssssss…

        Wait! Spite fuels this inspiration! I must be negative to feed the spite!

        Nooooooooooo…!!!

        TV Teen Titans Starfire sucked! She’s about boobs & BJ’s and stuff! Personality & pluck is bad.

        Bad!

        BAD!!!!

    • sarpiedon
      sarpiedon
      September 4, 2012 at 4:07 pm | # | Reply

      Nooooooo

  34. lordphulish
    lordphulish
    September 4, 2012 at 8:27 am | # | Reply

    Who else thought of the Duck Tales theme song when she said cars and airplanes?

    • Andrusi
      Andrusi
      September 4, 2012 at 9:14 am | # | Reply

      Well, now I did.

      • Doctor_Who
        Doctor_Who
        September 4, 2012 at 9:37 am | # | Reply

        Woo hoo.

        • Jeff K!
          Jeff K!
          September 4, 2012 at 12:39 pm | # | Reply

          What, is there danger lurking behind you? Some kind of stranger out to find you? Well, here’s what you should do: hang on to this. (hands lordphulish some Ducktales.)

    • Finnius
      Finnius
      September 4, 2012 at 7:14 pm | # | Reply

      Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes. It’s a duck blur.

    • Dr. Z
      Dr. Z
      September 5, 2012 at 7:04 am | # | Reply

      I…

      I love you.

  35. Bonobo
    Bonobo
    September 4, 2012 at 9:26 am | # | Reply

    OK, I’m fairly certain that Lucy was a SEMME agent….

    • Doctor_Who
      Doctor_Who
      September 4, 2012 at 9:41 am | # | Reply

      I think IW! ended in 2005, and in 2003 Lucy was a little girl watching Teen Titans. Her first strip also said she’s in college now, so I think she would have been much too young to be in Semme.

    • Phillip Wilde
      Phillip Wilde
      September 4, 2012 at 9:55 am | # | Reply

      I’m fairly certain Lucy was still a child when SEMME disbanded.

  36. Ruck Bodgers
    Ruck Bodgers
    September 4, 2012 at 3:12 pm | # | Reply

    At this point, we are essentially back to Amber’s original character model.

  37. Twinkel13
    Twinkel13
    September 4, 2012 at 3:30 pm | # | Reply

    new girl looks really…gray? srsly, she’s grayish pale and it scares me 8(
    it looks like she’s from a completely diffirent comic
    she seems interesting thus far, though :/

  38. Random NPC
    Random NPC
    September 4, 2012 at 4:51 pm | # | Reply

    Ladies and Gentlemen,

    …Launch the ships.

  39. Aitherion
    Aitherion
    September 4, 2012 at 6:00 pm | # | Reply

    …Galasso?

    • Dibullba
      Dibullba
      September 5, 2012 at 7:05 am | # | Reply

      Was thinking the same thing. Despite having a daughter, it has yet to be confirmed if he diddled a woman…. or for the fact if he even knows how that is done.

  40. TemplarKnight
    TemplarKnight
    September 4, 2012 at 6:06 pm | # | Reply

    Ken hasn’t. He boinked the competition. And Malaya hasn’t, she just made out with an employee. Galasso hasn’t though he has orchestrated a few.

  41. Historyman68
    Historyman68
    September 5, 2012 at 9:30 am | # | Reply

    Whoa Lucy’s doing the exact same hand gesture as Amber in the background! In panel 1.

  42. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    April 1, 2013 at 4:22 pm | # | Reply

    Man, in light of recent strips, this has become hilarious/scary.

    • maycroft
      maycroft
      April 7, 2013 at 9:23 pm | # | Reply

      If somebody had told me in the future we could have Jacob/utra car shipping I would’ve called that person insane.

  43. Bam_Kapowski
    Bam_Kapowski
    April 17, 2013 at 6:01 pm | # | Reply

    Is this the same girl that loved Starfire from 2003-2006, or do I just have a rare kind of racism that only surfaces when I read web-comics?

    • Bam_Kapowski
      Bam_Kapowski
      April 17, 2013 at 6:03 pm | # | Reply

      Oh, apparently those “tag” things can be clicked on. Did everyone else know about this but me?

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