Storyline over! Next week, MWF schedule with stand-alones.
Time for more bangin’!
Change? You got change? C’mon, help a guy out. Change!
I was a tiny asian boyscout once! Boy, was that a weird week.
Got change for a dollar? I’m all out of nickels.
That’s it! Change!
Do we have a new sex addict in the making?
YOU! YOU READ CRACKED. I READ CRACKED.
Your comments are more popular than mine, I think.
Yes I read and comment on CRACKED but it depends on the subject and the day, I had had comments with over 100 Likes and I had comments with more than 20 dislikes and sometimes, I had comments with no marks at all.
I’m not in ButtChocolate or darkstrolm’s league though.
…now I feel sad for not noticing the consistent name as I frequent both sites a lot…
I don’t change my CRACKEED ava as often as I change my gravatar and those avas in CRACKED are so much smaller.
To be fair, there are a lot of comments beneath every single article, mostly spam or insults – or clown-related warnings.
True that, I have seen AJBulldis’ name in CRACKED before and there has been a few others who mentioned seeing me in CRACKED but they used different handles.
I’m just too old for handles nowadays, so I’ll be AJBulldis pretty much everywhere. Though I still use my IM screen name for most forums, and a relatively unique gamer handle for…gaming.
To be fair, it’s a pretty common name.
You have seen a lot of Plasma Mongeese names before? :O
Yes, well, few people are in the league of BC or darkstrolm. I always arrive at the pun threads too late.
OH MY GOD HE’S TALKING TO GIRLS COMFORTABLY WE GOT A SEX ADDICT ON OUR HANDS
Yay. Ken learned to keep his options open. Will this stick? Let’s hope so.
Is that disappointment and disgust at one’s own disappointment I see?
I think Ken kinda looks a little like Danny Fenton.
I for one would like to see Ken’s opposite sex clone.
It had to be said! I’m leaving! Stop throwing things!
Danni Fenton is Chun-Li’s OSC?
My mind is blown.
Hopefully Ken will get other things blown as well.
Conquest: the sex therapist that Emma Frost only pretends to be.
Though I hope Ken doesn’t think that now it’s always going to be this easy.
Malaya’s reaction is doubtless going to be the source of much debate. I think she’s aware of the change in Ken. Maybe she’s just anxious because Ken’s drifting away from her as a friend, developing a life that doesn’t include her. Or maybe Ken’s harebrained scheme actually worked, since Malaya’s approach to sexual matters is at least as screwed up as his is. (Was?)
What’s fairly evident, though, is that he no longer cares whether it worked or not.
I think Malaya will be jealous. Not because she’s interested in Ken, but because she tried and failed at a relationship so she doesn’t want him to do better at it.
I’m unsuccessful at love. There’s no way I’m gonna let this dick-butt find happiness!
I think it’s more that she’s losing her “gay best friend”. Not to say that Ken was ever gay or that Malaya ever thought he was, but he was a platonic friend of the opposite gender. Now he’s actually willing to chase other girls, which means less time for her.
That’s an interesting point.
I think this, but I think there’s something else in it too. Malaya might not even be entirely aware of her feelings towards Ken, but despite the eye rolling or sighing, I think she really does like it when he compliments her or shows her affection. In the past, if Malaya were to ask if he thought a girl was pretty, he’d say something corny like “not as pretty as you.” She must enjoy that attention on some level, otherwise she wouldn’t have commented on that girl. I wonder what she’ll do now that she’s not getting Ken’s attention.
I think Jay and Silent Bob referred to it as “hetero-life-mate”.
Seeing as how Ken knew nothing about Conquest’s past it’s remarkable he had the guts to ask her if she’d help him make a girl he likes jealous. She could’ve turned him down cold and he probably knew it. Because he wanted Malaya so bad he never tried to ask anyone else out. He’ll have some hits and misses, but as long as he doesn’t get caught up over someone who doesn’t care he’ll be fine.
I hope that Ken doesn’t always think it’s going to be that easy too. That said, I think the most important part is that he not chasing someone who doesn’t want him.
This storyline both lowered and then raised my opinion of him. Before he just a background character who got a few gags at Ethan’s expense, with some creepy stalker thrown in. This storyline helped move him into the foreground and removed the creepy stalker stuff (after, of corse, making it even more pathetic).
“Maybe she’s just anxious because Ken’s drifting away from her as a friend”
That would imply she considers Ken a friend.
Although I suppose it’s possible she actually believes that’s how you treat friends.
Malaya has consistently been nicer to Ken, by far, than she has been to anyone else except Leslie.
My theory is that Malaya believed that she was desirable. By placing Ken as somebody who is not desirable to be in a relationship with yet he wanting to be with her creates the idea that anybody would do her even going as far as attempting to be a lesbian at one point. Now she is seeing Ken has changed by not finding her as desirable which could build into an insecurity. Give it time and I bet Kenlaya will be a thing.
Good point. Though I don’t think Kenlaya would happen, personally.
I don’t think Kenlaya should happen, personally.
Kenlaya will not happen. The most holy and revered order of Kenquestadors will not allow it.
…and then Willis wrote a Kenlaya storyline for troll points…
I actually think Malaya’s reaction is pretty simple. She was the center of attention in Ken’s life, and now she isn’t.
I don’t think she likes Ken, or wants Ken, or wants to or would have sex with Ken. But she liked having Ken monofocus on her, because it affirmed her alpha status and her separation from all the nerds. Now? Ken’s discovered there’s more than one woman out there, and some of them aren’t unrepentant evil.
Exactly. And I love that, as T said, Ken no longer seems to give a poo. You go, Ken; you move right on from that amoral sociopath. She doesn’t deserve you. She deserves a life of loneliness until she gets her head on straight and stops being so hateful.
Come on Malaya, don’t fall for this. You’re above such petty things, find your inner bitch and cling to it!
She’s not hating enough.. She needs a talk with UltraCar again.
I just realized Malaya’s name rhymes with itself, three times. So many As, so little time…
I pronounce it “muh-LIE-ah.”
Huh. I was going with Mah-Lay-Uh, myself. Go figure.
That’s the way I pronounced too.
I’ve always read it as “Mah-Lie-Ah”.
I pronounced it as the old name of my country.
Zaire’s a really weird way to pronounce that.
It rhymes with Mariah? I thought it was pronounced mal-lay-ah.
Woo! My pronunciation was correct!
I always pronounced it as muh-LIE-ah, too.
DON’T RUIN THIS FOR ME WILLIS.
…”muh-lie-ah” just seems like another way to spell “ma-la-ya.”
Same… glad to know I line up with canon!
Ma-LAY-ah, Ma-LIE-ah, to-MAY-to, to-MAH-to
–Dave, let’s call the whole thing Orff
I also assumed it was ‘muh-lay-uh.’ I don’t understand how you get a ‘muh’ sound out of that spelling. Have I really not seen ones like that before?! The shame.
I always pronounced it Muh-lay-ah, but that’s just my Indian showing.
*plays the song “The Girl With the Hunger Games Shirt” on the Muzak*
Not Hunger Games.
For Unicron’s sake, people, it’s been hours. Somebody identify the logo for me.
Someone identified it further down. Birdflash.
Wally/Dick shippers for Young Justice have made a portlogeau, apparently.
That’s the symbol of a Wally/Dick pairing?
…well with that, I want these two together. (Ken and this girl, that is. Not… well, maybe also Wally and Dick.)
Portlogeau is my new favorite word.
Character growth! Hooray! I really like this new confidence. Go Ken Go, talk to that cute girl with Billie-hair!
Is there something different with the shadow effects (shirt and lips specially) or is it just me?
The lips are differently shaded because Willis doesn’t use lips much, so using them period is a change.
The shirt seems normal.
get your shit straight man
I think he just did.
This is how it begins. Next thing you know you’re having sex with multiple Asian women in a room full of pizza boxes.
The best part is that this is still before the “???? and Profit” stages. It can only get better!
Heavy risks but the prize.
I’m Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite comment on this page.
You say that like it is a bad thing!
Better than having sex with multiple pizza boxes in a room full of Asian women.
And we have a winner.
Adds a whole new meaning to ‘stuffed crust’.
Wouldn’t a crust imply that Sarah is involved somehow? Pan-dimensional sexytimes hijinks ensue!
Ken Mans up.
The alternative would be:
Ken Dolls up.
So, Ken begins with Conquest and now he rises once more?
Are you…? You’re… You’re referencing the Batman movie, aren’t you.
It’s like if you put Sal, Rachel and Billie in a blender.
Ken? Oh, you mean the woman.
I dunno, she doesn’t look like bloody chunks to me. Shirt’s the right color though.
yay! Ken! While I doubt this will result on lots and lots of boning confidence to talk to people is always nice!
Lack of punctuation has led to the term ‘boning confidence’ being lodged in my brainmeat.
The first conquest on the way to an empire.
(there has to be a better way to make that joke. something about batles vs wars?)
Not so much fun to toy with after they develop the confidence to look elsewhere, IS it, Malaya and Malaya-ish types?
Well good for Ken that he’s no longer being a creepy obsessive
Although I should say I’m kinda sad it took this, and not the many times the person he was creeping on made it clear they weren’t interested
Indeed. But then, it was pretty clear that Ken was not receiving signals from Malaya.
I am so happy this happened. I don’t really like Malaya.
Aww, poor widdle beetch, losing her binky in the form of Ken not constantly pining for her affections and attentions.
I’d almost feel sorry for her.
Hopefully Ken is over Malaya for good!
Looks like losing his cherry changed his life for the better.
And that puts the cherry on top! *Wink*
Congratulations, Ken. Your plan is working *perfectly.* Not that you seem to care anymore.
OMG is that a BirdFlash logo?!
Googles Birdflash. Ewww. This type of fan pairing usually bother me, but these two are practically brothers in my mind. So I’m sorry, but ewww.
Meant to say, usually doesn’t bother me.
So in this case it does brother you?
Yup, `fraid so. Not about to try to spoil the fun for the proponents of this match-up, but this one weirds me out. Like I said, they’re practically brothers. I don’t think even CLAMP could make it work for me.
NOW I WANT THEM TO TRY.
To be honest, I’m all for fanfiction pairings…but some just make me scratch my head. I’m as big a YJ fan as you’ll meet, and I’ve just never gotten that vibe from Wally and Dick. Though that said, I’m a hardcore Spitfire fan, so that might have something to do with it.
Maybe Malaya’s problem is just the age old one. She didn’t want him when she could have had him, now she apparently can’t have him -so she wants him.
That could be it.
Still, I’m liking the confidence Ken is showing. As long as he can handle rejection, then he should be alright.
Hooray for Ken!
Your comment sounds so sarcastic with the gravatar you have. I love the way gravatars change the way I read comments.
When will Amber’s storyline resume?
Maybe Donna’s powers will kick in and jump-start something.
Well Ken is way ahead of the curve than I am. That makes me happy and sad at the same time.
Don’t be too sad, Ken IS fictional. That he got his cherry picked by a beautiful woman is akin to Barry Allen winning Olympic gold in track and field…
“Oh you can’t-always get, what you wa-ant,
You can’t always get what you wa-ant”
You can’t always get what you won, but if you try some times, you just might find, you get what you kneed.
you need hoooonkeytonk women! give me give me give me the honky tonk blues!
I think she’s pretty too.
Considering Malaya’s charming personality, she was damn lucky she even had THREE whole people interested in her at all. Leslie who seemed drawn to Malaya’s irreverence the same way she was drawn to Robin’s wackiness, the Movieplex fellow which she broke off just because she remembered he USED to be a nerd at age twelve, and Ken, who seems to have realized he really can do better than someone who has contempt for him.
I’m just saying, she may not want to keep taking people for granted. That kind of luck can’t last forever, and it really is LUCK she’s even gotten as far as she has with anyone.
Four, Ninja Rick who is interested in her because she’s Asian and nothing else.
The two storylines in Sp! & DoA seem to feature unlikeable misanthropes, but Sarah is way more popular than Malaya. It’s interesting to look at why.
What’s your reasoning why? As someone who loathes BOTH Sarah and Malaya, I am interested in your observations as to why one favors Sarah over Malaya.
Not OP, but here’s my point of view.
Sarah knows she is a misanthrope. She will call herself so. She is honest, and hard-working. She studies and cares about school and her future.
Malaya is a manipulative liar and lazy about work. She takes a “whatever” approach to life. Malaya has far fewer likable traits than Sarah.
I like Sarah and despise Malaya. The reason is simple, Sarah has demostrated that she can think of others besides herself. I.E. she whomped on the perv with a baseball bat to defend Joyce which she had to go SIGNIFICANTLY out of her way to do. The closest Malaya has come is pooping on a car.
Sarah’s my favorite character in DoA, but I despise Malaya. It’s because while Sarah might not be the friendliest person, she still has a good heart and will be there when her friends need her. She’s smart and works hard, and her problems come from trust issues and a heavy dose of cynicism. Malaya, on the other hand, is just nasty to everyone. She’s manipulative and malicious and has almost no redeeming qualities; every time we see her, she’s either treating Ken like dirt or saying something snarky. Both characters are misanthropic, but Sarah’s much more likeable, in my opinion.
Honestly, Jason’s still a film geek, but she didn’t know that. And considering the way she looks down on just about anyone with a hobby, I agree. Only a matter of time before she goes through a pretty spectacular Break the Haughty.
I think Malaya and everybody else would be happier all around if she just went off somewhere to live as a hermit. Her only defining characteristic so far seems to be contempt for everyone who is not herself. I know the “I thought I would try being a lesbian” storyline tries to say she’s lonely, but who’s kidding who here? Leslie is the only person she hasn’t been outright hostile to, and that was while sucking up to her in the most obnoxious manner possible (“Fuckin’ breeders, am I right?”)
I still don’t know what to think about Ken. He has all the personality of an unspeaking background extra. I suppose that’s the point, given the running gag that nobody remembers his name, but… that’s a curious creative decision to make?
Dont you mean Ryu? or what was his name again? Blanca?
You mean M Bison?
Take it this means there will be no kenquest in the future which makes me sad but i am also very happy for Ken’s newfound confidence and selfworth.
I really hope he never hooks up with Malaya. Even if the whole she wants him know she cant have him scenario plays out i hope it ends with him giving her a talk on how their incompatable and wont work and she should find a guy she genuinly wants rather than one she only wants cause of not having him…and then he could start a genuine relationship with Conquest
But thats just how i would like things to play out no doubt things will resolve themselves in a more unexpected yet awesomely epic way as this comic has a tendancy to do
The future is not set, there is no fate but what we make ourselves. Kenquest will happen because the Kenquestidors will MAKE it happen. First spiffy t-shirts, then the world!
Is that counter bread? Because Malaya’s looking a little JELLY.
… I’ll go home now.
You spread those puns a bit thin, D’ough!
Ken takes the knife, stabs Malaya right through the heart and spins it!
And the crowd goes wild!!!!
Well…that escalated quickly.
…wait, what if this girl’s father has EVIL PLANS to take over the world through a male heir!
From now on, whenever she’s really bored, Malaya can point Ken at various women and take bets.
This is what happens once his pipes are CLEEEEAANN!!
Yes Cabin Boy!
I don’t think Malaya likes Ken, or is even jealous. She’s just lonely. His obsessive pestering was part of her daily routine.
DANG YOU WILLIS! Your making me feel for Malaya!
Not me. I’m laughing.
Exactly. I don’t comprehend this sudden wash of sympathy Malaya’s been getting.
Why? She pushed and she pushed and she’s finally getting what she wanted. Ken leaving her alone.
It’s just the look on her face it’s just getting to me.
That looks more like a, “Here we go again” look than a “Oh noes, my precious Ken” look.
So Malaya, are you upset because Ken is no longer interested in you or because twice Ken has gone after girls you’ve found attractive? I don’t know if that’s your “Shit, he’s no longer into me” face or your “Shit, this loser is going to keep vaginablocking me” face.
I keep meaning to mention this, but every time Malaya makes an appearance, this song automatically pops into my head. So congratulations, Willis, you’ve managed to forge an inexorable link in my brain between a Johnny Mercer song and a comic character.
Malaya looks like that didn’t go exactly as she planned. She might be starting to wonder if this is an act on Ken’s part or if its really happening. She might even be wondering if there’s anyone that is quite as interested in her anymore as Ken used to be. I’ll be eagerly awaiting the next comics, because I think this has still not been enough, I kind of have a feel it’ll take a little longer still before Malaya’s elevated sense of self-importance grumbles before the realization that the guy that would have tried to get the moon from the sky for her if that meant she’d go on a ‘date’ with her (where she might still sneak off to jump some other guy’s bones) is no longer interested in her. After all that time, it might actually leave her a little regretful? Or perhaps vengeful, this is Malaya we are talking about. Still, I wonder -how many comics- we see Malaya in still before she snaps.
I think this is my favorite Shortpacked! comic yet.
Seriously, the kooky shenanigans, the crazy DRAMA, the God-damned proposal; none of it compares to how singularly awesome these three panels are as a conclusion of this arc.
Yay! Character growth in a non-horrifying direction!
Well Malaya,, karma is a bitch. Or is it karma’s a Malaya,?
Shortpacked: Because Sex cures everything!
It certainly cures virginity.
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