Kenquestadors, your here stands
In need of company
And like some unsoiled angel’s pants
You reek of virginity
I see your rosy-tinted crush
Has long since lost it’s sheen
And in Malaya’s face
There is no fondness to be seen
I remember one time at Botcon maybe 10 years ago when somebody had this setup of like a billion BM Scavengers swarming a Supreme Cheetor. It was the only time I liked Supreme Cheetor
I would guess “not having been in a relationship” would be, like, infinitely more important a factor in his behaviour than whether he’d had sex or not.
Well, what ELSE are they going to do with themselves? This is soap opera gold here! All they need is for Malaya’s twin to come bursting through the wall and tell him that they’re actually long-lost siblings. And then Arnold to bill her for the broken wall.
Go for it dude. I felt the same once and my almost first time wasn’t nearly as hot as Conquest or at the very least get over Malaya. She’s not worth it.
Dammit Ken, forget Malaya already! I mean, I’m pretty oblivious, but even I can realize that there is NO chance of her noticing you in any way, shape, or form! Connie’s cuter anyway.
Ken, I’m gonna be honest with you. Whether or not you have your first time with someone you love, someone you’ve dated twice, or someone you just met who wants you to sire her heir, it’s gonna be hella awkward. The solution is to get drunk enough to not care (but not so drunk that you get whiskey-dick).
That’s kind of, like, regular drunk. For about a tenth of the drunk people I’ve encountered. Vague estimate there, but it’s more noticable when you’re not drunk yourself – and I don’t drink.
16 may be legal in most states, but there’s always conditions, and if either party has crossed a state line (or either to or from a U.S. Territory) then the legal age jumps to 18 even if it is lower in both states (or territories).
Your naivete speaks volumes. This comic can be viewed on the World Wide Web in countries other than the USA. And these countries don’t blindly follow it’s rules/laws.
Here’s hoping Ken the virgin has fun with Con the very much not virgin and thus the scales shall fall from his eyes, and he will accept the truth, being that Malaya will never be interested in him-untill he loses interest in her.
Part of me wants Ken not to do it, because he deserves better. But part of me goes back three comics and thinks his roommate is right. Either outcome isn’t going to get the affection of Malaya.
Well, the ball’s basically in Conquest’s court right now… I think it’s gonna be up to her to seize the initiative if they’re gonna get to bumping uglies.
Hmm…seeing the buildup, I’m going to put my money on ‘Ken goes through with it, but actually falls in love with Conquest, and she has to figure out how to get him to stop giving her presents.’
I hope. The ‘sudden attack of morals’ plot advancement isn’t a BAD thing, but it’s kind of overplayed.
With Connie I get the vibe that she mates not because she emotionally enjoys the act, but because it’s something that she’s accustomed to feeling like she’s supposed to do. Sort of why most of the rest of us wear pants.
This. Connie’s situation is one that, when you even try to think of it from a real world perspective, is utterly horrifying. As a father, I can’t allow myself to think about the ways that Galasso has emontionally broken this girl.
I mean they don’t build character much worse than the character I built.
Seriously, don’t get desperate, if you wait long enough there are PLENTY of women who will Build Character with you SIMPLY BASED ON THE FACT YOU HAVEN’T BUILT CHARACTER YET! College is a great character building environment.
So Ken isn’t completely dense after all! Good for you, son!
While I also sympathise with your desire for your first time to be with someone you love, I will also point out that from what I know of Malaya, she is the WORST kind of person to be your first with. I’d go with Conquest.
I don’t mind him. He’s just this year’s “normal” character. Willis tends to start with characters who are seemingly sane and rational, then slowly evolve them into entertaining nutcases.
Ethan, Amber, Leslie, and Jacob were all “normal” once too.
Ken needs to put his dick in that right now. Your first time is nothing special unless it’s good and with her it’ll clearly be great. Then he will relax in general about it and realize the other chick is stupid.
ken has two choices he can stick to not doing it till he finds the right one since odds are marla is not going to come busting in there to some him or just accept mistakes build character and since conquest is waiting just do the deed and be done with it worse he winds up knocking her up by accident
Character Building = SHWING!
Everything can be character building. Heck, even dismemberment can be character building.
Jack The Ripper was notorious for his ‘character development’.
Death builds character. Specifically, the character of your friend/relative/spouse, who will devote their lives to avenge you.
It’s done wonders for Batman.
it’s actually true if you’re a surgeon
Would removing parts from something be the opposite of building?
I’m going to hell now, aren’t I
Once again, Kenquest ship.
Are the fans called Kenquestidors?
Nobody expects the Spanish Kenquisition!
Our chief weapons are surprise. Surprise and fear.
Our chief weapon is Hadouken! Hadouken and syphilis.
And ruthlessness.
And the Cerebral Bore.
Our chief weapons are Hadouken, syphilis, ruthlessness, and the cerebral bore.
And our toy-ninja skills.
Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: Hadouken, syphilis, ruthlessness, the cerebral bore, and birthday suits – oh damn!
So shall it be.
Kenquestidors: Willis Approved!
Does that mean we get a t-shirt?
Only if there is enough demand for them.
I’ll take one!
Kickstarter!
There’s a demand for the amber pillow. But it will never happen
any way!
Kenquisition! what a treat!
Will they be washable?
I ask because … well .. T-shirts do tend to get wet … >_>
Sung to the tune of Procul Harum’s “Conquistador”
Kenquestadors, your here stands
In need of company
And like some unsoiled angel’s pants
You reek of virginity
I see your rosy-tinted crush
Has long since lost it’s sheen
And in Malaya’s face
There is no fondness to be seen
(More lyrics to come if I have the time)
Shit. That first line should be “your hero stands”
I like it better sung to the tune of “Beverly Hillbillies”, but maybe that’s just me.
Was singing it to the tune of Gilliagan’s Island my self.
Which in turn is best sung to the tune of Stairway To Heaven.
I’m on board!
Talk about a easy mistake to make.
Yeah, you know what they say, EVERYONE makes mistakes.
And yes, that IS intended to be a double entendre.
I guess she’s had a lot of practice with that whole “getting naked” thing =p
at this point, she may have more trouble getting dressed.
Did dad say mistakes build character, or mistakes build characters?
DnD says dice rolls build characters.
or character creator mode. but those characters are usually broken and ruin game flow
You can also do Point Buy, or a preset stat array.
But “Dice rolls, point buys, and preset stat arrays build characters” doesn’t sound much like wisdom. So I guess that’s the dump stat.
Well, bad dice rolls and and stupidity do lead to character creation.
He meant mistakes built characters. Take Donna, for instance.
Well, more than one player has probably accidentally taken high charisma for their Fighter.
Well, unless you’re a half-orc or something worse, charisma is something a fighter should have if he’s going to be a team player…
Well, if you’re playing 3.5, it’s the Fighter which is the mistake. (Just kidding!
)
Ken’s dad, truly a wise man.
I just hope his mistakes aint premature.
I don’t hold much hope for that one.
He just needs to learn how to squeeze the right muscles every so often to avoid ‘preemptive discharge’.
I think Pat Dailey’s dad’s last words are more apropos here…
To hear them, go here:
Okay… that didn’t work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTH4XfJBryw
Hopefully that does.
oh snap… Ken’s got Unicron, Masterpiece Grimlock, Masterpiece Optimus, and Supreme Cheetor!
I had forgotten how ridiculously big that Cheetor was.
And it didn’t make transforming ANY easier.
I remember one time at Botcon maybe 10 years ago when somebody had this setup of like a billion BM Scavengers swarming a Supreme Cheetor. It was the only time I liked Supreme Cheetor
According to the tags, that’s Primus, not Unicron. Although I thought it was Unicron, too.
I choose to believe that the mere act of putting her hand on her elbow caused Conquests clothes to fall off.
Conquest has her entire dress wired to a button hidden on her arm.
The whole thing was actually held together by magnets, and pushing the button turns the magnets off.
She better hope that an EMP never goes off when she is outside in public then.
Perhaps she might find that exciting. The bystanders will! *EG*
She’ll still fare better than Ultra Car.
There’s little reason to think that she would be bothered by that turn of events.
Generally speaking, an EMP going off is reason enough to be bothered, regardless of any nudity that might result.
I just imagine there’s a little ripcord like a parachute.
The only thing holding that dress up was the eyes of the male and lesbian readers. Notice it didn’t fall off until she was off panel.
Maybe it’s a subdermal implant like The Creeper.
I’d Creep ‘er any day.
Wait….
*Plays “You’re My Favorite Mistake” on the Muzak*
So Ken’s a virgin? That’s fine, but if he hasn’t had at leasta girlfriend before his behaviour with Malaya suddenly makes a LOT more sense.
Sure does, doesn’t it?
Maybe Ken’s feelings towards Malaya will chnage once he lost his cherry.
I would guess “not having been in a relationship” would be, like, infinitely more important a factor in his behaviour than whether he’d had sex or not.
But hey, I could be wrong.
It’s definitely the lack of a relationship, or at least, the lack of an adult relationship.
Being a virgin does not mean that he has not been in a relationship. Though I’m guessing Ken has not experienced either.
Cheetor, Optimus, Grimlock and Primus like to watch.
Well, what ELSE are they going to do with themselves? This is soap opera gold here! All they need is for Malaya’s twin to come bursting through the wall and tell him that they’re actually long-lost siblings. And then Arnold to bill her for the broken wall.
and go “OH YEAH!!”
They’re actually the long-lost children of the Kool-Aid Man.
DON’T ASK.
How can I learn if I don’t ask questions?
Mistake her, Ken. Mistake her all night long.
Just don’t mistake too soon.
“Whata mistaka ta make!”
Mike mistook yer mom in exchange for a nickle.
Then demanded his money back.
Mistake her until loose change falls out of her hair, Ken.
Go for it dude. I felt the same once and my almost first time wasn’t nearly as hot as Conquest or at the very least get over Malaya. She’s not worth it.
Did Conquest and Jacob never manage to cross paths?
I’m… not sure it would be good or horrific if they did…
They did once. Conquest thought he was an offering from her father, if I recall correctly.
Jacob ran away.
After screaming at a pitch only dogs can hear.
Dammit Ken, forget Malaya already! I mean, I’m pretty oblivious, but even I can realize that there is NO chance of her noticing you in any way, shape, or form! Connie’s cuter anyway.
Hmm. It actually sounds like he’s being realistic about his chances with, and possibly even his feelings towards, Malaya!
Ken, I’m gonna be honest with you. Whether or not you have your first time with someone you love, someone you’ve dated twice, or someone you just met who wants you to sire her heir, it’s gonna be hella awkward. The solution is to get drunk enough to not care (but not so drunk that you get whiskey-dick).
What if Ken is the anti-Mike and becomes a huge asshole after getting drunk?
That’s kind of, like, regular drunk. For about a tenth of the drunk people I’ve encountered. Vague estimate there, but it’s more noticable when you’re not drunk yourself – and I don’t drink.
I mean mike level asshole. If you know someone who becomes mike level asshole when they’re drunk, you had better stay away from them at parties.
Willis, you should’ve done a Conquest pin-up. DAMN YOU WILLIS!
Eh, all but one of my pin-ups were Dumbiverse versions, and I think Connie’s only 16 over there.
16′s legal in my part of the world.
I’m disturbed by some of the implications of your comment.
16 is actually legal in more states than not, and 16 is the average age that US citizens lose their age, allegedly.
I don’t know what the hurry is, to be honest. Kids are in such a hurry to grow up, but sex really isn’t that big of a deal.
In all cases, media has tainted out perspective, I believe.
Very true, on all accounts.
“Lose their age”? Is that an expression that exists?
16 may be legal in most states, but there’s always conditions, and if either party has crossed a state line (or either to or from a U.S. Territory) then the legal age jumps to 18 even if it is lower in both states (or territories).
Your naivete speaks volumes. This comic can be viewed on the World Wide Web in countries other than the USA. And these countries don’t blindly follow it’s rules/laws.
And this matters to Galasso how?
It matters to me.
Galasso’s not the one drawing the pinup…?
that is a mistake I would be happy to make, at least once, if not again and again
Here’s hoping Ken the virgin has fun with Con the very much not virgin and thus the scales shall fall from his eyes, and he will accept the truth, being that Malaya will never be interested in him-untill he loses interest in her.
Sounds like falling back on clichés, but if almost everyone commenting believes so, I guess it’s true? Or not.
I think I have a new OTP.
Yes. Cheetor clearly has his hand on Optimus Prime’s butt.
Given that Connie seems to be extremely good at whatever she wants enough I doubt Ken will have a bad time if he decides to go along with her XD
Does anyone around here NOT have instant naked powers?
Nope. Don’t believe me? Look down.
What’s that in your hand? It’s my naughty bits.
Look back up. What’s that in your hand? It’s my naughty bits.
I’m on a whore.
Look, it’s that thing that you were secretly checking out in your history that you didn’t think I saw.
This comment + unimpressed!Donna gravatar = best.
Robin, technically hers is just superspeed.
Ethan, Faz, and Conquest nude-off?
…
On second thought, let’s not.
Part of me wants Ken not to do it, because he deserves better. But part of me goes back three comics and thinks his roommate is right. Either outcome isn’t going to get the affection of Malaya.
I guess the lesson here is that things won’t come out as expected. So why bother trying to make them happen as expected?
So why does Connie look so uncomfortable?
He keeps speaking of the hew-mon emotions, as if they had anything to do with sexing.
He needs to read Sex for Fun and Profit.
Then he’d understand how it all works.
Heh. Upon re-reading, I am tremendously amused at the virgin referring to himself as a “sexual being.”
Well, hopefully Ken does not split into two smaller Kens asexually.
If anything, he’ll probably reproduce via budding, like Marvel continuity Cybertronians.
Hubba hubba.
Now what would be awesome is if they do an after the fact, and they’re just looking at the ceiling, and this dialog happens
Ken: I thought you said you had a lot of sex. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I didn’t think you’d be…..tight.
Conquest: O____O
Well, the ball’s basically in Conquest’s court right now… I think it’s gonna be up to her to seize the initiative if they’re gonna get to bumping uglies.
Ha ha balls
sob sob court
Hmm…seeing the buildup, I’m going to put my money on ‘Ken goes through with it, but actually falls in love with Conquest, and she has to figure out how to get him to stop giving her presents.’
I hope. The ‘sudden attack of morals’ plot advancement isn’t a BAD thing, but it’s kind of overplayed.
Now that she’s presented with a guy who isn’t simply treating her as a sex object, I’d be interested to see if she actually develops “the feelings.”
Is “desire to mate” a feeling?
With Connie I get the vibe that she mates not because she emotionally enjoys the act, but because it’s something that she’s accustomed to feeling like she’s supposed to do. Sort of why most of the rest of us wear pants.
We’re supposed to wear those? No wonder I keep getting all those weird looks…and arrest warrants.
This. Connie’s situation is one that, when you even try to think of it from a real world perspective, is utterly horrifying. As a father, I can’t allow myself to think about the ways that Galasso has emontionally broken this girl.
I’ve built worse character.
MUCH worse character.
I mean they don’t build character much worse than the character I built.
Seriously, don’t get desperate, if you wait long enough there are PLENTY of women who will Build Character with you SIMPLY BASED ON THE FACT YOU HAVEN’T BUILT CHARACTER YET! College is a great character building environment.
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
Mike built your mom’s character for a nickel
So Ken isn’t completely dense after all! Good for you, son!
While I also sympathise with your desire for your first time to be with someone you love, I will also point out that from what I know of Malaya, she is the WORST kind of person to be your first with. I’d go with Conquest.
…And boy was his father right.
And by building character, he means a new one in her womb.
This is a thing that hasn’t happened yet. There has been a LOT of effort on this part.
Maybe Ken will be the Chosen One?
That’s just one more thing Ethan hasn’t been able to accomplish that Ken will.
Wow, if Ken can get Supreme Cheetor to stand erect like that Connie must be having quite an effect on him.
That toy is gonna come CRASHING down the minute they start to do anything on that bed.
You Mount the woman, Ken.
Way to take the initiative on the Gravatar.
*thumbs up*
Wait.
Was Ken raised by Calvin’s dad?
Would that mean Ken is a grown up Calvin?
Hmmm…with a dye job, I could see the hair matching.
He (presumeably) paid money for a Supreme Cheetor. I’d say mistakes have already been made.
Am I the only one who’s getting tired of Ken?
Might be that he doesn’t have much to his character beyond longing for Malaya and getting Transformer toys easily.
In that case, you’re in luck. That’s what this arch is probably out to improve!
Also, he’s not all that funny. I mean, he tries, but he lives in a universe with Robin, Mike, Ultracar, and Faz. That’s a high bar to cross.
That, and it’s his fault we have to put up with Malaya
I don’t mind him. He’s just this year’s “normal” character. Willis tends to start with characters who are seemingly sane and rational, then slowly evolve them into entertaining nutcases.
Ethan, Amber, Leslie, and Jacob were all “normal” once too.
Ken needs to put his dick in that right now. Your first time is nothing special unless it’s good and with her it’ll clearly be great. Then he will relax in general about it and realize the other chick is stupid.
ken has two choices he can stick to not doing it till he finds the right one since odds are marla is not going to come busting in there to some him or just accept mistakes build character and since conquest is waiting just do the deed and be done with it worse he winds up knocking her up by accident
If he knocks her up it will be A) hilarious, B) a miracle, and C) make their kid Galasso AND Connie’s heir.
The Third Eaton!
Will Ken get a $70,000 a year job out of this?
I’m sure she’ll find a position for him.
The Jesus Converter position.
My Favorite Mistake
Put it in.
So, is Ken by chance related to a man or boy named Calvin? They seem to have the same dad
Hmmm… Primus, MP Grimlock, MP Prime, Supreme Cheetor… so Ken’s into big bots…
Did Ken have the same kind of dad as Calvin? Y’know, like Calvin and Hobbs?