Speaking of belated weddings, I’ve been cranking out more Joyce and Walky! strips for the members-only pages. You can see glimpses of them on Tumblr and if they pique your interest, you can purchase the pages in the store if you haven’t gotten them already. If you have, just refresh the last page! There’s more there now.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
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Hijinks Ensue
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So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Whelp, I’m not finishing this sandwich.
Can I have that?
I cannot recall Wen I last saw her.
HAH!
.
..
…
That is all
I don’t think I’ve laughed that hard at a comic in ages.
Aww, Mike looks sad in the 2nd panel. =(
So does Donna
I have a dream!
A dream of Mike and Donna sharing expressions throughout the rest of the comic until she’s at least able to talk properly!
Amber your hair is getting so long D:
I wonder if it’s so she’ll look differen than DoA Amber.
Possibly, but way back before SP! was even colored her hair was even longer. I like her better with the longer hair, though I admit to preferring longer hair in general anyway.
I wonder if it’s so she’ll look different than Faz. In-universe, I mean.
That could be a personal motivator for her. Especially after Robin had pointed out to her that if she could do a good Faz impersonation than Faz could probably do an equally good Amber impersonation. For his own gratification that is…
I think Faz is over Amber. At least, I hope so after this comic http://www.shortpacked.com/2012/comic/book-14/01-deady-dearest/frown/
Then again, Faz might have collected the ashes and put them in his lube and oh god what the hell am i saying
It’s your subconscious remembering this comic (despite your best attempt to suppress the memory.)
http://www.shortpacked.com/2012/comic/book-14/01-deady-dearest/wen/
Man Faz is awesome.
Woman Faz is pretty creepy.
Yea… I was anticipating/dreading the return of Wen. I find her far more disturbing than Faz. And when you realize that odds are Faz and Wen are related it’s even worse. I reiterate my earlier assertation that the Fazwen ship is called the Brain Bleach Express.
Isn’t that the name of any Faz ship by default?
Nah
Faz/Mike is know as Bloodied Corpse
I am suddenly picturing the Brave Express Might Gaine made up of bleach bottles and piloted by Faz.
( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_PhZ7cSDjI reference for those not into Brave )
That thought makes me very sad
FYI, a real wedding can be just a few people. It doesn’t have to take long. They could have just had it done in the courthouse. That they didn’t suggests that Amber, at least, wants people she cares about to be involved.
Having it in a courthouse is no more a “real wedding” than what Amber’s suggesting.
Getting married at a courthouse will have more ceremony than having your co-workers sign the license during a break.
Well right, but that still isn’t what Amber’s talking about.
I do think it’s weird that she’s not using a courthouse marriage in lieu of a real one though.
Well, now that I’m thinking about, having the infant may take-up whatever time they might use for the ceremony. They’re real time-sinks, babies.
Damn them babies!
Wait, why does she need to hide it?
She wants enough time to be able to throw them a decent surprise wedding.
So she can do this.
Think Wen will ever say something that isn’t horrifying?
Knowing Willis he already has a week long backstory planned for her that will make her character nuanced and sympathetic, but right now I reserve the right to back away from her while hissing.
Funny, that’s part of their foreplay
EVERYTHING is part of their foreplay. EVERYTHING.
Not quite everything.
The actual sex is not part of their foreplay.
Everything else, though.
I think it’s more likely at this point that she will get a backstory that will make her all the more disturbing and horrifying.
I feel like we should start a betting pool.
20$ on cranking the horrifying to eleven.
No deal. That would involve a downward cranking.
Touche!
Whenever we see Wen (which so far, hasn’t been a whole lot), I here her speaking in this weird robotic monotone. I don’t know why.
She’s basically a female Faz. Which in itself is horrifying. So basically, I hear her in a similar pitch to him. It’s still pretty disturbing, though.
Because that’s how Faz talks?
I always imagine some far more sleazy sounding than a pure monotone.
This. It would be near monotone because that adds to the creep but just enough sleaze inflection to add that extra layer of “ewww.”
Sadly, I imagine Faz has a horribly stereotypical Engrish accent. Which is weird, because Ken totally sounds like a normal dude and Malaya sounds like Miko when I read their dialogue, but Faz… It just seems wrong for him to not have a horribly stereotypical accent.
I feel really horrible about myself for imagining Faz like that, since I normally read characters with normal American accents regardless of race, but Faz sounds like the narrator in a horribly racist old Jell-o Commercial http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8BEDq1KNuo
… ew
…
…
There was no preparing for that one.
I’ma let my wife speak for me here, with regard to Wen’s line:
“DAMN YOU, WILLIS!”
Good God what mixed emotions this strip calls forth.
Mike makes me sad, with that face in the 3rd panel.
Robin makes me curious, I’m guessing she’s going to throw a big wedding.
Wen ..leaves me speechless..horrifies me…makes me barf…
You can do this pretty cheap… Jesus oughta be able to whip up enough food for everyone (I hope you like bread and fish)… wine too, but it’ll be in water bottles, for some weird reason.
…
I apologize for the incredibly lame joke, but someone had to do it.
Hell, I thought you were being semi-serious until your last sentence.
What part of Faz is his “taint” exactly?
The general area of skin between his testicles and his anus.
T’aint the balls and t’aint the asshole.
I would say the entirety of his epidermis.
Is it just me, or does Amber look angry in panels one and three?
Incest!
Insect!
Inset!
Cancer incest?
*puckerfase* well, thats my appetite ruined.
Glad to see Wen and Faz are happy… even if they give too much information… XD
Faz IS tmi.
C’mon Robin! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.
Performing a wedding isn’t exactly hard.
If I can do it anyone can do it.
A couple of months qualifies as “Long ago” these days, I guess.
>My hand is currently on his taint.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I would have felt safer with Ninja Rick honestly…. he could have just sliced it up-san
I have to say I don’t understand all the fuss about having a “real wedding”. In my opinion, marriage is simply a formalisation of the committed relationship between two people who love each other. It’s enough for me to be able to hold the woman I love and call her “my wife”. Whether or not we had a big celebration to commemorate it doesn’t change the feelings I have for her.
Then again, I’m also notoriously anti-social and hate being the center of attention, so that might have something to do with my antipathy.
Also, it’s strange, but I’m glad that Faz has found someone who’s perfect for him. I’ve never been particularly creeped out by Faz. Maybe that’s saying something about me. XD
Some people just like to have parties and share big moments in their lives with all the people they love and consider important to them.
Is Wen related to Amber & Faz????
??????????????????
??????????????
PS: ??
Would I be incorrect in recalling that he met her at the funeral of his (their?) father?
Yes. Amber met her at the funeral, but Faz met her on an online chat and had been seeing her for a few weeks. They were using the Amber pillow in their mating. *shudders*
Faz! I missed you… Aaaaaaaand now I don’t.
Who’s got the brain bleach? I need it, quick!
I was using it but now I can’t remember where it has gone. I think I missed the strip today. Let me just scroll up and see….MY GOD WHY DID I DO THAT?!!!
*Hands over an extra-large ration from the industrial strength emergency supply*
Ahh thank you…now what was I saying? Oh yeah, the strip…THE STRIP! AHHHH NOT AGAIN!!!
My comment doesn’t seem to be coming through.
It didn’t come up with the others, but if I try again the screen says I already posted it. Am I missing something?
And now my other comment’s gone. Did it get deleted, then?
Nope.
Next Halloween comic, Faz should be a creeper.
That would be different from everyday Faz in what way?
Not a creeper but the DC Creeper with green skin and everything.
No, no, on halloween you are supposed to dress up as something else.
My money’s on Wen and Faz turning out to be half-siblings too.
I think that’s a safe bet.
Only half?
7/18ths then?
7/18ths is less that 1/2.
Yeah I realized that after I posted but then I got too lazy to correct myself.
Just finished reading your entire archive… was that yum!
Welcome! You are now one of us.
If you find yourself with more spare time than you don’t know what to do with consider reading Roomies/It’s’ Walky/Joyce and Walky and Dumbing of Age. Unless of course you already have done so.
oneofusoneofus
I hope you read the comments as well. And don’t be confused by the comments about Plasma, as some of them don’t make sense now. I think you will figure out why as you continue reading.
Ooooo, I see wacky hijinks ahoy!
“Taint she sweet”
sorry, had to say it
I got married in tiny room in the basement of the Chicago courthouse with only two other people present: the marriage court judge and my best friend… who is now my wife.
And I consider it a real wedding.
That’s because it is a real wedding.
You know, with all the wedding industry stuff, I wonder if there’s some kind of correlation between having simple ceremony and happiness. Either positive or negative.
I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if there were. I mean, the same culture hugely emphasizes home ownership for instance, yet if you control for wealth levels… renters are happier than those who own the property they live on. Heck, our culture is all over conspicuous consumption to begin with, yet once you have a person making more than about $10k a year, there’s no difference in happiness level; they are equally likely to be as stressed or as happy as anybody else who makes $10k or more a year.
I’m also thinking of the kind of women and couples who end up on things like “Bridezillas”. Our local paper mentioned one that was from our state, who wanted a Little Mermaid themed wedding (yes, really).
In an effort to be SUPER IMPRESSIVE OMG, they decided to put the cake on top of an AQUARIUM…
…all the fish died.
Also, the DJ left early and… well, I don’t remember all of it and I’m sure the episode is out there somewhere but suffice it to say it was multiple levels of disaster and she was FREAKING THE HELL OUT because OMG HER WEDDING IS RUUUUUUUUINNNNNNED.
I did think this was funny though: I ran across a short story once that was set in a future with a “100% divorce rate”; the story was told in the form of an internal memo at a bridal magazine, right? And it proposed an article advocating that FIRST weddings (since, obviously, most people will marry more than once now) be casual affairs – low key, in the backyard with BBQ and your closest friends – because duh, you can’t afford the expensive ones… YET. Of course, the de facto assumption was that the magazine would still encourage the idea that later weddings be, you know, conspicuously consumptive. You know… just, like, when you can afford it. Like when you’ve paid off your college loans and can “afford” to splurge on completely useless things like one-use-only $2k dresses and gigantic cakes.
It kind of still cracks me up. XD
Wait, I just had a messed up thought. If Wen has her hand on Faz’s taint then wouldn’t that mean his pants are pulled down and Robin just walks up to Faz while this is happening without any reaction?
Damn you brain, for making me think this!!! Blaaaarrrgggg!!! Where’s the brain bleach?!
we’re out, supplies always run low whenever wen shows up.
part of me wonders if this ties at all to the J&W updates, maybe robin’s motivation is more tied to events at the last wedding she officiated?
Look at the escalator. They are in the middle of the toy store. If Faz’s pants are off, he is expecting people to still walk up. Is he in customer relations?
I just assumed she had her hand down the back of his pants – she is standing behind him after all.
This is correctness.
They’ve been working a slacky retail job for years and living like poor folk, yet had no free time or money to plan a wedding, even before she pooted out the baby?
LAZY AMURRICANS
Heh-heh. “Pooted.”
Amber’s a *manager* now though. Also, retail jobs don’t have a consistent shift which makes it harder to plan things. But all you have to do is just ask for the same few days off ahead of time. I think it comes down to poor planning more than laziness.
Wait, since when is “living like poor folk” conducive to planning complex, expensive things like “full” weddings?
I AM a poor folk. Most of my time is spent working, frantically trying to keep up with the household basics (you know, cooking, cleaning, doing dishes, laundry, etc.), and planning around my skimpy budget… for you know, feeding myself, keeping myself clothed enough to be presentable,keeping the household clean (cleaning supplies DO cost money, you know), keeping up with medical expenses, utilities, rent, and oh yes, gas money to get to work.
I don’t think I would exactly have time to hunt for china patterns and fancy dresses either. And certainly wouldn’t have the money. And that’s WITHOUT being pregnant and having a baby – babies are goddamn expensive, but so is making sure you’re healthy during pregnancy sometimes.
Also, as pointed out, Amber is a manager now – she works FULL TIME, on top of her duties being more complex… you know, like wrangling the insane cloud of people who work there. And unless part of the stuff I’m binging back up on is out of date, Mike works a second job on top of all that (at McAwesome’s).
Granted, they had a few months but… “full” weddings are expensive as hell. Renting space is expensive, wedding clothes are expensive, caterers are expensive, flowers and cakes are expensive.
Seriously. My bf’s sister got married last year and even though they had the actual ceremony in private, the cake and (family-and-friends) reception still cost like thousands for food and space rental. And did I mention this cake was from Publix and the reception was at a Japanese steakhouse, with the afterparty in a single conference room in a local hotel (where we played a non-alcoholic version of beer pong)?
Seriously. This stuff is ridiculously expensive.
I imagine part of it is not wanting to spew that much money into something.
FAZ AND WEN SHARE TOO MUCH
Erm… women have taints, men have pereniums.
Taint is used more often than not as a gender neutral word, it’s slang.
That’s odd, because I have always seen it referred to as “perineum” when referring to a woman, mainly when reading books and websites about childbirth (it’s the part that sometimes can tear when the baby comes out and sometimes they cut it to “prevent” a tear).
After a quick google, it seems “perineum” is also gender-neutral (which I always figured it was, but I thought I’d add that tidbit of info just for clarification).
Inb4 Robin plans out a “real” wedding for Amber and Mike in said two weeks.
do not know whats scarrier robin planning what could be a secret wedding for amber by hidding the license. or recruiting faz and wen to help . and faz not passing up the oppurnunity to make every thing sexual and pure creepy with him
Well there’s a mental image that won’t be leaving me for a while.
…Wait Two Weeks? That’s oddly specific.
I want this strip to be renamed “Faz’s Girlfriend starring Wen and Faz!”
Speaking of officiating weddings, did Robin ever wed Walky and Joyce?
Read the text under the comic. Big eye-catching graphic next to it and everything!
Oops, my bad. I’ll be sure to purchase one so that you can forgive my ignorance.
Well…now I have to vomit.
So…..yea
“Creepy Alert”
Even Mike looks a little sad in the second panel, like he wishes they could have a nice wedding.
An the baby! The poor, ugly baby! She looks so sad! Now I have a sad!
That punchline shouldn’t be so funny, yet it’s hilarious. How do you do that?
i like that mike and donna often have the same expression.
Donna must be one of those babies who gets upset whenever papa is… of course, since papa is ALWAYS “upset” looking, well.
It is adorable, though.
Wait, why can Robin marry people? I havent read Its Walky do due the art not aging well but was she captain of a ship there? And it cant be the congress thing, given she hanst been in offcie for years.
Or, you know, she could just randomly have the legitimates for it. I think there’s a license for it or something in most states.
Joe suit up!