Cat’s out of the bag. Will she go for it though?
It’s been out of the bag for a while…Malaya will do the opposite of go for it.
Judging from the expression, no.
Clearly, it’s because she’s still pining away for Spider Car.
Forget Malaya’s expression, what’s up with Conquest’s? Did she hear Malaya?
Either reaction to Ambers answer (that we still haven’t seen) or the thought of no longer hiring ninjas.
The cat was never in the bag. The cat is 500-foot-tall monstrosity with tentacles and laser eyes. There is literally no bag big enough for that monstrous cat.
In short, I think Malaya already knew about Ken’s large, ill-concealed crush on her.
Plausible deniability is still possible if he wants to chicken out.
It takes a lot of pain and bloodshed to shatter the romantic-idealist, “say any compliment you can” way of thinking.
I really want Historical Jesus to be like
I’m sure that happens to him ALL the time.
I will now imagine Historical Jesus with Lurch’s voice.
It’s not his “confession” she’s groaning at, it’s his ridiculously predictable and corny line.
He should have said “Me. Wouldn’t you want to date me?”
It’s less predictable and more douchey and for some reason I feel that’d attract Malaya better than “Nice Guy” Ken.
Heh. She’s a Barbie doll and his name is Ken.
If Ken hooks up with Conquest, that’d be hilarious.
That would be the best moment of the whole comic. Bar none. Good guys win!
Would their shipper name be “Kenquest?”
YES. Yes it would be Kenquest.
Anyway I liked his line. It’s just that Malaya doesn’t like *him* and doesn’t particularly want him crushing on her. Oh well. At least an outright rejection will help get Ken over her and looking at other people.
She’s tried before. She’s been a complete DICK to him in the past and he never catches a clue.
Which proves two things: Ken’s oblivious and Malaya’s a wench.
No, it means rejection turns him on even more.
I officially endorse this name for this ship.
I third this vote.
Fourthed, now it’s time to ride the Kenquest ship.
I fourth this vote.
I do not ship, but I am officially on board with this.
That would be AMAZING.
Punch him till he learns, Malaya.
Mike’s username is timemonkey. Nice to know.
Hey, hey, hey. No need to be rude. Mike has standards. Very low standards, but still.
Not sure I’d call hooking up with Amber low standards.
You mean the preggers chick at the toy store with the daddy issues who dated that one gay guy?
No, the one who looked smoking hot in a corset, gave up on the gay guy when she realized he was gay (i.e. not Robin) came to grips with her daddy issues, is at a pivotal point in her career and in fact is one of the few characters with an advancing career and a proud mom.
She has her very own proud mom? She IS moving up.
She has that also last time I saw. But yes, thank you for pointing out I forgot the word is.
When you’re the veteran father who’s been fired from a long series of minimum wage jobs before landing at the only two shitholes in America willing to keep your deadbeat violent alcoholic ass around I question why you feel so strongly that you’re in a league above toystore management.
I can neither confirm nor deny that I fucked your mother for a nickle.
Clueless, clueless Fei Long.
This the first time I got to say this but I’m making a Street Fighter reference…WITH THE HELP OF KYOJI!!
Sixth panel: Jeshua shows up behind them, confused.
That’s dedication to the ones you love. Not many guys are that loyal, you know.
It’s been going well for him so far.
I’m pretty sure Jesus and God are two separate entities.
…actually, I would totally worship Jesus-God.
Only if you’re Mormon or some kind of non-Christian.
Ha! You make funny joke, implying that there’s some kind of agreed-upon definition of “Christian” that would make a some people able to be accurately excluded from the label by small doctrinal differences. Good one!
Well, there kind of *is* an agreed upon definition of Christian, but that’s neither here nor there. I don’t like you. Please, from now on, pretend I don’t exist, and I will offer you the same courtesy.
Or certain flavors of nontrinitarian.
Jesus God is what happens when they bring teleportation technology to heaven and the father and the son try to use it simultaneously
Only if they don’t end up a throbbing pile of organs on the floor. Do you know how many times that’s happened to my test subjects?
I doubt the number is actually underwhelmingly low.
*believe the number is underwhelmingly low*
I’ve said too much already, you’ll be notified of your termination within the hour.
Well, that’s rather thoughtful to notify him beforehand. If you have a dental plan, I’d be willing to take his place.
Clean up the mess his intestines made on the wall and you can have his job.
If two people end up one pile of organs, does that count as one time or two? It matters with regard to my guess.
Ooh let me guess!
Seven? I’ma go with seven.
Thirty-seven and a half.
Would you settle for a God Jesus?
I’m pretty sure Jesus, God, and The Holy Spirit are supposed to be one being. Or else, Saint Patrick was yanking our chains with the whole 3 leaf clover thing.
Relationship status: It’s complicated.
They are separate but also one. They are the Holy Trinity.
Still barking up that bitch tree, eh Ken? Whatever floats your boat, bro.
Ken must’ve think that Malaya is acting all tsundere on him.
Or he just digs bitches.
Ken remembered to turn his swag off. That’s why he is not at all covered in bitches.
Then why not go for Roz? Personally I like Roz, but others don’t and before Malaya was hired she was the bitchiest character in this strip. I’m actually hoping she turns him down call so he can find someone better.
Roz and Malaya are two completely different animals. Roz is a snake in the grass, all nice to your face and then cutting you down the second your back is turned. Malaya’s a cranky rhino, all “Oh, did I crush your toes, legs, and only means of getting away from that pride of hungry lions? I DON’T CARE FUCKER, GET YOUR NERD BLOOD OFF OF ME!”
Actually, I think it’s more like she can turn him down so he can fawn over her pathetically for several more years because he loves her. Hopefully not though.
I’d bet that precisely what Ninja Rick thinks of her.
You know, MOST girls would just say thank you for the compliment and move on from there. But NOOOO. She has to complain about it.
In her defense…that was so gushy it probably stained her shirt.
Congratulations – you have collapsed the wave and created a new fetish. The web site (complete with credit card payment option) will be up soon. Good job.
That should be the name of a band.
Emotional Bukakke, A New Fetish, or Credit Card Payment Option?
I was replying to CWR, so “Emotional Bukkake”.
“Emotional Bukakke, A New Fetish, or Credit Card Payment Option” could be the name of a post-rock band, though.
That runs the risk of letting him think she’s interested.
Swing and a miss Zangief.
Looks like she’s still pondering the whole not hiring ninjas thing.
In Ken’s (partial) defense, a lot of guys really would find Malaya more attractive than a “walking Barbie doll.” That makes Ken’s answer plausibly honest, but doesn’t excuse him from being a sap.
I tend to go for small geeky brunettes and redheads instead of tall blondes.
lol my wife knows that if a stacked blonde walks by I probably wouldn’t notice too much, but a wallflower ginger comic nerd…yeah my wife would shiv her just to be safe.
Ugh! Thank you for sharing my tastes… I get sick of my female friends assuming the cultural standard fits EVERY MAN’S TASTES. /endrant
You’re quite welcome! Yeah there’s a short cashier gal with dark wavy hair at my local comic store. Every time she pops her back or stretches because of a long day I automatically reach for my ring and look at other stuff in the store. It has become quite the reflex after all this time.
Then my wife will usually go reach for her twisted fairy tale comics and bring them up. Knowing I’m still trying to keep myself occupied she’ll put them on the counter with the rest of our stuff.
Either she’s wise to it or they are both working together, but we always come out of that store with more than anticipated.
I’ve found Malaya to be *physically* attractive ever since she’s been in the comic. Needs a brain transplant, though, cause I can’t STAND what a bitch she is. Looks aren’t everything.
At her age, my reaction whould have been the same…too mushy gushy for a straight face reaction. Can’t blame Malaya on this one. I never thought Con all that bad, just influenced by her crazy father Galasso.
… But is she Anatomically Correct?
Given her sexual history i’d guess yes
Malaya is a mean-spirited miserable woman… and some guys are attracted to that.
Actually, if Malaya just lost the bitchiness, I would agree with Ken.
Of course, if she lost the bitchiness, she’d be an empty shell.
Epic burn. Well… It’d burn more if it wasn’t true. As a fact, it just hurts.
I AGREE WITH THIS ONE. I HAVE SPOKEN.
Why the heck to girls think that guys want Barbie dolls, anyway? News flash, we really don’t!
cause barbie dolls are plastic and don’t have vaginas?
Also, she’d be six feet tall with an 18-inch waist. Girl’s like a grotesque parody of human anatomy. I like my women with all their organs intact, thanks.
And would fall over when she tried to stand, because her feet were too small and also critically pointy.
Has Willis ever done a drawing of Conquest as Black Canary?
So, she doesn’t like girls, and she doesn’t like guys I guess. Who does that leave? Ultra Car?
I shall now await Malaya’s participation in a Turbo Teen-esque mad science accident so she can be with her one true love.
Who the heck says she doesn’t like guys? She doesn’t like Ken.
And hell, Connie might show her back to the lesbian side of Sears…
She did make out with Jason in the crossover with Multiplex, but that’s about it.
Honestly, by this point I’m half-wondering if she’s asexual or something similar.
Sounds like you’re reading a lot into a less than maximally active sex life.
Ken just made a Mangina move.
That’s NOT how you make a move on a female. You either come up front on day one or you don’t make that move at all.
But Manginas like bitchy women. Because they’re too afraid to talk to regular women.
People who use the word “mangina” are terrible.
Seneth, I don’t know you but I like that you exist.
You know Malaya. when a boy you know likes you (and you know that he likes you too) and thinks you’re more beautiful than a Barbie Doll come to life maybe you should just TAKE THE FRIGGING COMPLIMENT and say thank you!
Butbutbut….the penis is evil! That’s her whole reason for being a lesbian, right?
Ya know, after writing this, I do remember that she did try to bone the movie theater guy, but stopped when she found out he actually appreciated anything artistic or scientific (aka, a nerd). I don’t even think she was attracted to him, she was just attracted to the fact that he hated things. If hate was a physical thing and had genitals, that would be the only partner Malaya could stick with.
So she finds the Comic guy from Simpsons?
OH GOD MY EYES!
oh wait you said hate had to have genitals…
OH GOD DON’T THINK ABOUT IT!
Nononono, it’s ok. He’s a nerd. Even if he hates comics, he hates them because he measures them against other comics, so he must like something. I’m talking about the physical manifestation of hatred. Doesn’t like anything, doesn’t have any opinion other than that everyone and everything that is, was, or ever will be all sucks donkey balls.
“If hate was a physical thing and had genitals, that would be the only partner Malaya could stick with.”
And unfortunately for her, Mike’s now engaged and has just become a father so Malaya’s kind of screwed on the whole love thing.
I dunno if Mike would work either. Since he clearly loves Dana.
You know Ken, when someone doesn’t like you back (and you know she doesn’t like you) and hitting on her probably makes her feel awkward and uncomfortable, maybe you should just take the hint and stop.
But if she did that and still didn’t like him romantically, she’d be FRIENDZONING. God forbid. Can’t win.
So now she sets Ken up with Conquest to get rid of him.
I just. I just want to pat Ken on the head and go “That’ll do.”
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