Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
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animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
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joe
justice league
ken
leslie
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
I don’t even know how to respond to how fucked up that is.
Yeah, I was JOKING about that being how they met! D=
To paraphrase an old DnD saying: “Never give the writer ideas!”
Although, Willis probably already had this planned, being the (second) creepiest thing possible given the circumstances.
First creepiest being hee met her at the funeral?
They were doing chat roulette at the same funeral.
i was like yay, people were right yesterd…w….tf? clearly though, these two are made for each other. or long lost twins
Well … it’s in the news over here (which obviously isn’t the U.S.) at the moment:
A man fell in love with a woman he just met. Over the years they had 4 children together. Now, I don’t know how or why, it came out they are siblings!
This man has 4 children with his sister. So he got arrested and is currently trying to get out of jail by claiming that this is against the human rights. Or the other way round: He claims that it is a human right to have children with whoever he wants, as long as both potential parents agree.
What I find interesting in this is that only the *man* got arrested! What about the woman involved? Didn’t she do the same things *he* did? So much for “equal rights of men and women”…
He got arrested for something they didn’t know about until now?
Are you talking about Patrick Stuebing? In that example, the couple met as adults but they knew they were siblings. She wasn’t charged because she was 16.
Ah. Two salient points not mentioned in the original comment. If it’s the same case, of course.
It seems that I indeed mentioned Patrick Stuebing. I just know about the topic what the news say. I didn’t know his name, nor the exact course of events – and not even in my darkest dreams would I’ve expected a wikipedia-article about him!
… umm… if she was 16, doesn’t that make it rape, and KIND OF A BIGGER DEAL?
The age of consent in Germany is 14.
It’s 16 in Switzerland, though it’s not liable to prosecution even below if the age difference between the participating persons is no more than 3 years.
I don’t know what the age of consent is in Germany, but it’s 16 in most U.S. states and all of Canada.
It was briefly 14 in Canada for a couple of years, though, maybe, oh, I’d guess about 15 years ago? They put it back to 16 (it had been 18 before that, which means that when I was 19, I accidentally comitted statuatory rape with a fellow college student. He was in the same class; how was I to know he was only 17? I only found out because a bunch of us were chatting and the “how old are you?” topic came up. He had to show us all his driver’s license to prove it. Whoops…) when this 14-year-old girl’s parents couldn’t legally stop her from running away with her something like 40-year-old boyfriend. The case made our lawmakers re-examine that whole 14-is-old-enough-to-consent thing.
There’s another case in… South Africa, I think? Man and woman meet, get along really well, plan to get married… and then sometime just before the ceremony actually happens, they get the families together and it turns out they’re brother and sister.
As I recall, the parents had split and each took a child.
You weren’t joking. You just didn’t realize it yet.
Sexiest thing you’ve ever seen, is how you should react.
@Vivvav: To answer your question, it is THIS
Fucked up!
It is THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS fucked up. There’s just… GAH. There are no words.
I had a picture to show how bad it was but I forgot about the effects of the greater than/less than symbols.
3======(^_^)======E
A humongous pitchforkpenis piercing you through the cranium as you smile? Nice
A humongous pitchforkpenis piercing you through the cranium as you smile? Nice
Not my intended responce but it will do nicely.
The best way to go.
GO GO GADGET EARS!
The correct response is to run screaming into the street, and then have yourself sprayed with boiling vinegar so you can feel clean again.
It’s NOT WORKINg! [cries]
I do:
“SEND MORE ASSASSINATORS!”
I know right
See, I think they’re cute.
Brain Bleach! Get your free brain bleach!
Is it industrial strength brain bleach? I’ll take five gallons.
Got any Brain Lye? Bleach will not handle this, I’m gonna dissolve my brain out of its misery.
How about an inhaler filled with sarin gas, it will take the pain away.
I’m just going to go to system restore in my brain
I haven’t backed up since the 8th grade.
Guess I’m gonna have to figure out how to talk to girls all over again.
You mean you figured it out???
Sort of. Haven’t been maced in weeks.
TELL US YOUR SECRETS!!!
Easy – hide the mace, wear a sports cup, have full dental coverage and a spare set of clothes stashed nearby.
There is not enough mind soap or brain bleach or braindex™ or cranium cleaner in the world to undue the image that is now circulating in everyone’s head.
I’m ordering the institutional size Fukitol and eating it like cereal.
I coated my brain in Teflon. Now everything just slides right off.
Fancy, my brain just built up an immunity to being horrified.
Sadly it leaves it a little boken and dirty but as a result I find this page amusing.
That typo couldn’t have come in a better place.
it took me a minute to see the typo. yay for mental auto-correct!
I wish I could say it was planned.
TMI! TM-F’n-I! Gaaah! I’ll take 10 Gallons of Brain Bleach please! Oh, can I get the one that’s color-safe though? I don’t want to ruin any of my color shirts when I start to guzzle the stuff.
… My brain just broke in two and brain juice is running out my nose.
“We need a mop in Aisle 2.”
See, that’s why I don’t get Robin’s reaction, ’cause I wouldn’t want to have the same sex toys as Faz.
It was a nod to her still unacknowledged crush on Amber.
that…. that is disturbing on so many many lvls
Hagh…oh…oh GOD…my gastrointestinal tract just leapt out of my mouth. ALL of it.
Take Amber’s face in the last panel and multiply it by Goku’s power level.
THAT IS MY FACE RIGHT NOW.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
….i….you….what….
I’m so happy for Faz. I now love Faz perhaps 10% more just because of Wen’s existence.
I think…what faz did to ..Amber’s body pillow…is somehow WORSE than we all thought it was.
I thought he put a hole in it to jab his penis into, honestly this is better.
o3o…that two people are having sex…AROUND it? That’s at least equal.
I agree with your sentiment, I always hated Faz but now I think this is the cutest thing ever.
o_O
And we’re STILL not sure Wen’s not his sister.
Let THAT one sink in.
Doubtful, Amber’s dad’s personallity traits are not particurally apperant on Faz, so we have to assume Faz is how he is because of his mom.
If they are related by mothers then they should know this. It’s likely both parents were hookers or something.
I’m sticking, until we learn otherwise, to my crack theory that Faz made a female duplicate of himself through mad science (probably using Galasso’s lab). The “Chat Roulette” bit is just a cover story.
Wen is Faz’s Opposite Sex Clone? I can believe that.
Whatever is going on I think now is a good time to engage in the traditional DAMN YOU, WILLIS for taking incest off the table and then dropping trou and putting it right back on.
How likely is it that Wen and Faz are half-siblings, too?
Remember how you felt towards Faz two days ago? This is how Faz repays you!
By this graph Faz can prove that he is incapable of being pitied for Faz is a master of all things carnal
Faz repays our almost equally sick minds well…
only you, Willis, could have made Faz continuing to creep after his sister despite knowing that she is his sister sound better by comparison
This is the most disturbing thing I have seen on the internet . . . today (12:07 AM)
Oh God, I called this yesterday.
I’m not sure which is worse, the idea that Willis read my comment and decided to put it into the story, or the idea that I’m in the mind of Faz enough to know what he’d find sexy.
Considering that Willis has said that (like most authors) he keeps a buffer of comics drawn ahead of time to prevent schedule slippage from emergencies…
I’m afraid you just have a little bit of Faz inside you.
why did you say it like that
why did you say it like that
Was there really any other way to put it to you?
“you have a little bit of Faz inside you”
And it only took 8 attempts for him to get it there.
Better?
*quietly sobs*
SOULMATES!
The fact that one has a vagina is the only difference I’ve seen so far
One is blonde!
“Let me draw you a chart…”
And has freckles! Plus her forelock’s bigger, too.
WHY AM I HAPPY FOR THEM?! I don’t want to be happy for them…
On the one hand, this is good, because they’re keeping each other away from anybody else.
On the other hand…what if they BREED?
Fazzling would like to show you by this chart I drew with crayon that his ding-dong is better than most other kids.
If time travel is involved, we now know how Galasso got Conquest without understanding sex himself.
Well if their actually half-sibling then genetic problems…
Then again an spawn of either would probably have some genetic problems anyway…
The spawn will either be a creepy pervert – or the single most charming, sexy, and, chaste person in the history of the human race. All will long for Faz and Wen spawn (regardless of sexual orientation) but it will be for nigh for he/she will be completely asexual; even in the romance/dating department. This will lead to the end of civilization as we know it.
Do we think Galasso might pay for having his manservants/employees spayed and neutered? They could pitch it to him while Amber’s on maternity leave and the entire store’s a horrible chaotic mess.
Or just do it while they sleep. Forced sterilization is a horrible, horrible thing, but then so’s the thought of bringing another of those into the world.
I think that without Amber’s mom’s genes, the DNA of Ambers father produces people with a dangerously high tendency towards genetic sexual attraction.
o3o which is wierd…seeing as her mom has hooked up with Jacob..presumably twice
…What does that have to do with GSA?
OH MY GOD JACOB IS STACY’S BROTHER!
To the conspiracy mobile!
And I thought this couldn’t get any more terrifying…
Wait until the news of Wen’s pregnancy comes out.
I may have already had that nightmare – while reading the comic, even. It’s something along the lines of a gremlin somebody spilled water on… But not water.
The smallest part of me actually finds them sort of cute. I mean, seriously disturbing and fucked up, but… Oh God, there must be something wrong with me.
I… have no words… except creepy, definitely that.
Wen is best Faz.
“That’s Our Faz!” [canned laughter]
Has there never been a more perfect and quite possibly incestuous duo in the history of – anything!?
Now I must go and find some way to remove this knowledge from my head – brain bleach is just not enough…
Depends. Are we talking yaoi or non-yaoi?
I didn’t think it could get much worse than yesterday’s…now I’m just reduced to this quiet sobbing.
Dammit Willis, I JUST HAD DINNER I DID NOT NEED TO READ THIS
And this is why the best time to read Shortpacked! is in the morning, before breakfast.
Faz has discovered love. True love.
True love is this most likely.
… I’m scared
Now the question is, does Wen have a job?
And consequently, can Faz guilt trip Amber into hiring her?
She probably works at the store across the street…
I don’t know. Zaph is his counterpart there.
Actually that makes me wonder. Did Ken and Malaya counterparts start working there? Are there people who work there who aren’t counterparts? If one of them quits (Or gets injured by flying clocks) does a new counterpart take their place? If Ken has a counterpart is he named Rock or Terry or Jacky?(For all you non-fighting game fans out there two SNK characters and one Virtua Fighter who are slightly-similar to SF’s Ken look-wise. I know the SF thing is drawn out but such a reference would be wonderful regardless…) Do CBS sitcom look-a-likes work their during the holiday?
I’m just so fascinated by how McAwesome’s works… I hope one day it gets some kind of story.
Well, I’m guessing that Moses is working there now.
Or Muhammad.
‘Man, McAwesome’s even beat us at being controversial!’
… Actually, I really doubt that Willis would be dumb enough to be that controversial.
BUT HE COULD SURPRISE ME YET.
Or Ryo, Any of those SNK clear Ken/Ryu rippoffs would would work.
I could see Modern Family look-alikes.
Willis, I want you to know that today I caught up with Marble Hornets. Watched about ten episodes of pure creepiness, and was seriously wondering how easy it was going to be to get to sleep tonight.
But now I am going to be up thinking of this instead. Faz/Wen has defeated the Slender Man as the most disturbing thing I witnessed online today.
So…well done I guess?
I am happy about everything in this comment.
(Oh man so you saw entry #54? I loved it so much.)
Faz is clearly attracted to half siblings. Brain bleach moment as you wonder what Faz’s father was attracted to.
That is, quite possibly, the creepiest conversation about sex ever.
And that’s a pretty hard acheivement
*ba-dum tish*
Don’t worry, it can only get worse from here.
And harder.
Well, um…at least Faz is happy?
WMG: Faz and Wen discover they are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. The next arc involving them is them working through this.
ajajaj this is completely messed up but I still I find it cute XD While I do hope they are not able to breed I am happy this to crazies found each other XD
So am I the only one laughing my ass off instead of horrified and repulsed?
Nope!
The best part is the “no more than eight attempts” “because we are sex masters” bit.
…The worst part is realizing what this means for the likelihood of safe sex and of Faz not reproducing with his maybe half-sister.
I laughed, but I was also horrified and repulsed all at the same time.
Yeah, I’m pretty much in this boat. Well played, Willis.
So, if the body pillow was bad, what did your wife say when she saw this one, Dave?
OH DAVID WILLIS NO
OH JOHN RINGO REFERENCE NO
I haven’t shown this one to my wife, because I love her.
That’s funny, I’d be more concerned about the implications to my well-being when she reacts if I were you. You are a brave man, Mr. Willis.
So you don’t love your fans then? I see how it is.
Hmph.
I kid, I find this page hilarious.
But won’t she see it here anyways?
The only thing missing from this story now is for Historical Jesus to raise Amber/Faz’s father from the dead.
I was wondering about that since he met Wen Dee weeks ago and yet only burned the pillow the day before. Figures they’d be into some freaky 3-some action.
I submit that TV Tropes has a new image for the “Squick” entry… O.o
Question: Did Amber’s late father not know about the wonder that is condoms?
Condoms are for folks who care about the well-being of their sexual partner after blowing their load.
True but you’d think he’d also worry about picking up a disease or two of his own. Oh well.
you realize he IS dead, right? ^_^
the heart attack is a classic cover for a rather less than savory death
Too true…..
Haven’t commented on a comic in so long.
Then I saw this one.
My mind is full of: DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ?
Meh.
I…
I threw up a little in my mouth. Excuse me.
Well, that sure clears THAT continuity glitch up. In fact, I don’t anticipate having any more questions about Faz and Wen! Like, ever.
It’s better to let sleeping dogs lie. Way, way better.
sweet.
merciful.
fuck.
make it stop? please? i’ll be good…
Creeeeeeeepy……
Ahahahahahha. the satisfaction of predicting panel 2 almost exactly (i just guessed multiple, not eight) is overwhelming
I can’t be the only one who finds this ridiculously adorable.
Yeah, I’m way too amused by this to be horrified by it. Because this is so far over the top I just cannot take it seriously.
MOTHER OF GOD.
Mr. Willis seems to have a through feminist understanding of female sexuality (well, his knowledge is above most males on the internet, to say the least).
So I’m guessing here the “vagina” comment reflects more on Wen’s ignorance than Willis’s. You cannot show a vagina on chatroulette unless you own a medical endoscope.
. . .
Wen does NOT own a medical endoscope…right? RIGHT??
Rule 34 …
You realize that the vaginal opening is still part of the vagina (as the word is used medically/scientifically), right?
It doesn’t take anything elaborate to show that for the pedantically inclined perverts out there.
I’m pretty sure Wen here is referring to her outer labia and clitoris, unless she was making a show out of…showing everything. D:
…I’m going to say yes?
It’s also entirely possible that Wen herself is confused over the concept of a vagina.
That’s also true, maybe she and Faz have not consummated their relationship yet!
Unnecessary. I know plenty of women – yes, women – who know there’s an opening there but don’t know the right terms for anything.
You can use it without understanding how it works. Just like me and this computer here…
I know a few women who use the term to reference the area
Eight tries. I’ll say it again: EIGHT TRIES.
While the concept of Faz and Wen reproducing is a horrifying one, I cannot help but be amused by how perfectly they are matched in terms of creepiness and perversion! It is like they are the Platonic Ideal of both concepts!
It would be interesting to see the offspring of Faz and Wen getting along with theoretical childhood friend Donna.
This is so thoroughly, utterly wrong and twisted and wonderful. I laughed until my face hurt.
I predict that their offspring’s teenage rebellion will consist of becoming the most pure-hearted, non-creepy, honest and forthright person the world has ever known.
So.. Joyce?
That makes a disturbing amount of sense, actually.
And then she/he will hook up with Amber/Mike’s baby and give birth to the 22nd century’s Hitler when evil skips a generation.
THE AGE OF MAN HAS COME TO ITS END.
This makes a terrifying amount of sense. O_O
Please, Willis, can you do a Funky Winkerbean-style time jump and refocus the strip around the offspring of Faz & Wen, Mike & Amber, and, I dunno, Joyce and Walky? With their parents all sitting around talking about how their parents are all dying and… wait
At least they’re honest with each other? Honestly, that gives them a better shot than most of the cast.
*triangle smile*
THE FAZ HAS BEEN DOUBLED!!!!!
So much DO NOT WANT.
I love this as much as I hate it… which is a lot.
Wen makes we laugh so hard. Hope that she isn’t another half-sister though. XD
Still a better love story than Twilight……?
I’m…. I’m not fully sure. Twilight never made me instinctively push my computer screen as far away from my body as my arms could stretch…..
Willis, you know that voice of doubt in the back of your head that questions whether or not you should reveal a certain detail? You know, like with Blain? I think you need to refine the algorithm a little more.
For future reference, I think we needed to know about Blain. Wen and the incredible dutch wife? Not so much…
Well.
That was a comic.
You know that look you get when you interrupt the afternoon quiet (southern hemisphere, people) of the office by laughing out loud at a webcomic?
This.
Is.
WORSE!
Hahaha, this is great. I hope we see more of Faz and Wen.
Ok, I will bite and be the first one to say it.
“Awwwwwwwwwwwww! They are so cute together!”
Others who are creeped out by them, just take a hike and let them be.
They are kind of sweet. The sex lives of others are frequently disturbing. That’s why we have privacy….
sooo many horrifyingly hot pictures are in my brain right now, i need brain bleach
This may be the first time in a long time that this comic has actually given me nightmare material.
I should amend that. Not since the days of It’s Walky.
I wish them a long and happy life with each other (far, far away).
This reraises the question as to where Faz origionally acquired the pictured pillow? This question raises the image of Mike in my mind. What could this connection between the question and image be?
It also gets to the question of how cartoony their world is. If it’s exactly how we see it on our screens, all Faz really would have had to do is draw a woman of roughly Amber’s build (only a handful of lines/vectors) and put a photo of her face on her.
But if this is just a representation of reality, and to the inhabitants of the Sp! comic, their world is as detailed as our own, then Faz could have potentially required a high-resolution of the kind of thing Mike would be in an ideal position to provide. (and the experience with Robin, Leslie, and the shower indicate that it’s at least possible that he would be willing to)
According to J&W!, lips and nostrils don’t exist in Willis land. Or at least, lips didn’t at the time.
Well… thank you for answering my questions from the previous strip Willis. In quite frankly the most mentally disturbing manner possible. Hehe. I bow to the master.
The fact that multiple people guessed 90% of this comic in the comments on the last comic, even though this comic has a buffer, helps to take away the mass of disturbing generated.
That look on Amber’s face. That her trying to keep the baby in FOREVER!!! So s/he won’t have to meet uncle Wen and aunt Faz.
Bravo, Willis. You are the master.
It’s hard to believe that the prude who wrote Roomies! would go on to write the funniest sex humor I’ve seen all year (sorry Oglaf). And it takes place during a funeral scene? Holy shit that’s awesome.
Okay, I just want to go on record as saying I love Faz and Wen. Ahahah, so much creepy-awesome-hilarity.
http://www.shortpacked.com/2012/comic/book-14/01-deady-dearest/frown/#comment-72793
So I see you wasted little time in responding to my comment. . .
I know no one is gonna see this way down here, but I just want to say that, 100% not joking, 100% completely serious, I’m really happy for Faz.
Yeah, he’s a creepy little dude that talks funny and always has hilarious charts, but he sounds happy to have found a partner that understands him. This is because she’s just as creepy, but that’s actually fine by me. He was never going to get a ‘normal’ girl, so why not one that fits well?
I wish them luck.
…And also no children, because there is absolutely no possible way she is NOT a half-sister. Which I’ll admit, they probably have realized and only makes it hotter.
I agree – he seems to genuinely respect her (in his own way), and they’re happy together.
. . . . . . . UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
So, what smug corporate mascot is Wen named for? Is there a Winnebago Kid I don’t know about?
Well, Wen is New backwards… sooo… she represents Keanu Reeves in the Matrix?
…I got nothing.
Btw, what mascot does Faz represent?
Fazoli’s was a resteraunt with a really smug-looking mascot called the Fazoli’s Kid. Faz is named for that kid. (His full name is Faz O. Lee.)
Someone up above said that her full name is “Wen Dee”. I vote that this is now canon.
Okay, forget “long-lost half-siblings”. Wen is CLEARLY another universe’s version of Faz, pulled into the Walkyverse by the Drama Tag.
Only another Faz can be as creepy as Faz.
Seem to recall an It’s Walky adventure, in which they went to a universe and got gender flipped. Maybe Wen hails from that universe.
Male Wen goes through, comes out a female Wen and falls for her other universe counterpart Faz.
Nope, the gender-swap adventure did not in fact involve alternate universes, but rather this universe breaking down due to the Head Alien using a time-freeze device on what is effectively if not literally the Walkyverse’s God.
I love Wen.
GLORIOUS.
Please tell me that Wen’s name is also a pun.
Bet you anything her middle name is “D”
Or her last name is Hau.
Wen Hau.
Wen Y. Hau.
Sounds just about perfect to me.
If I was Mike, and I overheard this, I would repeat the sex masters line when Amber least expects it just to see her reaction.
what is this i don’t even
I DON’T EVEN
i mean just when i think of a way to describe how i feel about this i’m suddenly overwhelHAGPASGOASDFPASDFOAPFAOWFPAFOPFASDFPASDF
You’re a SICK MAN, Willis!
I knew there was a reason I liked you.
But not in the way that Faz likes you, obviously…
I fear they found another sister….
Current title of comic is “Wen“.
Title of comic is incorrect.
Correct title of comic is “WUT“.
Love. Love, my friends.
It is beautiful.
Best couple, ever.
I’m just glad Faz finally found somebody. Should she turn out to be one of his numerous half sisters, they can move to Kentucky or Tennessee.
I should find this creepy… But for some reason, I’m just strangely happy that Faz has finally found somebody who’s perfect for him. It gives me hope that all of us weirdos have someone who can be our depraved soulmate. *sniff*
… And my avatar makes that all the more hilarious.
I have that gravatar the whole time…
But Faz and Wen are one oft the most adorably disturbing couples I’ve ever seen. And seemingly they’re masters in the art of “Unintended Brainrape”.
Hrm… Brainrape would be a good band name.
And just like that, Shortpacked! becomes my favourite horror comic on the web.
Well played Willis, well played.
Wait, given a rule 64 Faz, is there a rule 64 Amber knocking around, for which Wen has a wank pillow of?
Isn’t that Nathan?
Oh, this is perfect. This is just too perfect. The blankness of sexual interaction has never been revealed more thoroughly, let alone humorously. I already love this couple to bits. With my penis. For a nickel. If you know what I mean.
Willis, remember how I asked you to marry me? Well, I don’t want to marry you anymore (which might please your wife). Now I just want to devour you whole, so your awesomeness will forever be a part of me… and I mean that figuratively, of course.
LOVE YOU, WILLIS!
Bloody hell! There were almost 200 comments on this before I read it and with good reason. F’ed up hardcore! Brilliant even if highly disturbing.
All I can think about is that chatroulette session. I mean, they had to have talked at some point. Was it after they…did what people do when they show their genitals off on a webcam, or did they dub their gens with little voices to talk to one another, making it sort of a role-playing thing where their genitals actually were the ones who met and made arrangements to get together? The latter would be cutest. It’s adorable when people dub animals. Dubbing genitals would be hysterical. Especially in third person, with falsetto voices.
thats probably exactly how it happened. It would fit his character!
Yeeeaaaaaah. Cute. I used to have a boyfriend who would do that. He put a smiley face on it and would make it talk against my car window when I was leaving. He also humped my leg on the dance floor at Prom…
*sighs heavily, then reaches for the release switch for the industrial strength emergency brain bleach depository*
Now I’m really hoping that Faz and Wen are the results of parallel evolution. Partly because I think Faz deserves some reward for getting over Amber, partly because I don’t think anyone deserves Faz’ attention. Unless they want his attention, like Wen.
Given Wen’s chart, Faz should be walking more bow-legged than John Wayne. At some point Little Faz should be begging for mercy, but I guess they’re still in the honeymoon period. Hate to say it, but ENTWINED GENITALIA would be an interesting band name.
Y’all act like you’ve never been to rule34.com before. This is like the diet coke of perversion by internet standards.
Except this is FAZ who is already creepy with a person who is identical in personality to him with a very similar personality and quite possibly his half sister. They also liked using an Amber pillow in their “games”, have charts, and have been going at it like rabbits.
One or two of these these would be creepy but bearable and possibly fetish fuel…
But you combine Faz or any Faz like entity with all of them and it’s unnatural even by rule 34 standards…
I do wonder who will be drawing or writing about this…
Well, as long as those two crazy kids are happy tog-*HURK*
Ooh, “Wen” didn’t ring any bells for me yesterday, but “Great Wen” sure did.
Huh. So she represents a giant cyst, which represents London? Weird.
OK, I know there’s “someone for everyone” but this is ridonkulous.
And the fact that I just used “ridonkulous” shows how nauseating this is.
I have no mouth and I must vomit.
Oh my god I’m gonna be sick…
dear god there really is two of him…
Finding a girl showing her lady bits on chat roulette is about as rare as getting struck by lightening twice in the same day. As revolting as all this is, you must acknowledge Faz’s incredible luck.
I… what the frelling frak Walky? Wow.
Awesome, someone as/more depraved than Faz.
He’s a tool, she’s a tool. He wants to bone Amber, SHE wants to… wait a minute.
Ron Simmons, Your thoughts?
“DAMN!!!”
Thank you, Ron Simmons.
Great, now to douse my brain in gasoline and light it on fire.
Ha haaaa…..vomitous.
well…. I mean… but… damn yeah my brain is completly fubared…
the F!….
There is nothing about this comic that isn’t perfect.
I was called an egg as an insult by a Justin Bieber fan a few minutes ago and this is still the wierdest thing I’ve ever seen. o_o
Do you mind give some context for that “egg” insult?
Mostly, I just want to know how I, too, can be called an “egg” by a Justin Bieber fan.
On Twitter #JustinBieberIsOverrated was tending I told one person defending him by briging up how he has a fan base and won awards to learn what the word Overrated means.
His/Her response “Shut up your an egg” it was an insane and confusing response.
I vote you make a #ShutUpYourAnEgg hashtag for baffling retorts.
Nothing happens. You’re a gazebo.
things that make your skin crawl
. . . I’m kinda curious to know where Wen works. Maybe she works at drunk Mike’s other job when he’s at Shortpacked…..
Nah, the people at McAwesome’s are the opposites of the Shortpacked crew in the sense that they are generally happy, fully functional human beings, not just gender-swaps.
True, but I can’t think of any other place that would willingly hire a female Faz, except perhaps an establishment filled with of overall great people who just wanna help her out.
Though, her similarity to Leslie is still fairly curious…. if they were somehow related, a job might not even be necessary for her.
Maybe she’s the McAwesome’s Leslie?
I couldn’t stop laughing about the comic, and then couldn’t stop launghing about the “eeeeeeeew” factor, then the responses here had me in stitches. This has to be the single best (most evil?) “entwining” of “ROTFLMAO” and “EEEEW!” ever.
Are there webcomic awards for stuff like this? =D
Now I’m gonna go try and stop laughing long enough to…*hurk*
Strangely, I feel kind of happy for Faz. But also mentally scarred and repulsed.
Apropos of nothing, the current skyscraper ad is for a comic about some guy who seems to have stolen Grendel’s mask, named Vengador. I wonder if he rides the Vengabus.
How long until Faz realizes he’s pining after a sibling again? :p
To everyone who’s saying, “This is gonna give me nightmares!” I actually did have a nightmare about this last night, a rather bad one….Thanks, Willis.
This didn’t really disturb me that much (made me laugh though, especially the graph Wen has on the ready and is telling people to enjoy looking at it). So I’m curious, what the hell happened in your nightmare? Were you the amber pillow or something? If so, then yeah that would definitely suck, and I commend your bravery for returning to the comic from which the nightmare came from just to make your post.
I wish Faz and Wen all the best, they are clearly made for each other. ;D
*giggles at all the people who are actually bothered by this*
What, it took those two idiots 8 tries to figure out the geometry? Faz, I am very disappointed in you, I would have thought you would have the correct orifice in at most three tries.
I am finding the reactions here (almost) as funny as the strip. Well done Willis, very well done.
just when i thought faz had met his creepy factor by using chat roulette by meeting wren He ups it by her suggesting they smear the ashes of the burnt amber pillow on them and both snuggle with it. faz is now short packs own horror master
Congrats, Willis. This is at least as disturbing as anything I’ve seen by Joel Watson.
My… my brain just stopped working there for a second. There’s a PERSON with any kind of chromosomes (let alone those lacking a Y) who not only can stand Faz’s narcissism, but actually rivals him in it AND finds it arousing?
Flat what
Well, I hope they have a long, happy life together. I hope they become the disgusting sex world record holders. I hope they celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary by posting a ‘Greatest Hits’ compilation video on every amateur porn website ever.
…I hope you all enjoy that mental image.
If Faz is Fazoli’s, is Wen Wendy’s?
Ewwwww! Why do you torment your readers so? Damn You Willis!!!!
Continued from my comment yesterday:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The most disturbing part of this? Faz said that he burned the pillow through “Anger and betrayal” not because of the incestuous implications. does that mean that he would have been fine with it under different circumstances?
Will we be seeing an update at http://ibuyextradomainscuzihavenopenis.com/?
…why do I get the feeling that Wen is also Faz’s sister? …
This is by far the funniest comic in all the webcomics I have ever read!
but, if faz and wen are so similar, what if they are both spawn of ambers dad, after all he apparently had kids all over the place
Wen: Here I have chart you read shows people to Faz and me reacting. Many hopeful for us, many us doubt. Successful we are being, and together happy. Is good, we say! Us pleasing you are. We to you thanks.