Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
mike
ninja rick
nipple
optimus prime
politics
religion
robin desanto
ronald reagan
roz
sdcc
sg ravage
shattered glass
star wars
tni strips
transformers
transformers prime
ultra car
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Meh. Not her responsibility I’d say. His mom knows who his dad is.
Agreed although I still think she should tell him just because I think he’ll feel so betrayed that she withheld this information he’ll never hit on her again.
I would hope the fact that they’re half-siblings would be enough for that. Then again who can tell with Faz.
If I recall correctly, the fact that they’re half-siblings is largely based on circumstantial evidence (an unfaithful husband; a missing Faz senior; a strong resemblance). They didn’t go out and get a paternity test done, or anything.
Ethan is basically encouraging Amber to destroy a man’s hopes and dreams on the basis of a hunch stated as fact.
Ah, apparently I had forgotten Robin ran DNA tests. n/m
Don’t worry so did I
Is his mother alive? Or maybe she doesn’t know, it was just a drunken one night stand she can’t remember?
If I recall correctly his large numbers of offspring comes from his enjoyment of Vietnamese prostitutes. She probably has a pretty good idea of who her regulars were at the time.
I thought that he was one of the offspring of the Korean Mafia Guy’s daughters.
This webcomic is a real page turner, isn’t it?
I wonder how well idioms like that will last in the digital era.
“This comic is a real Next Button clicker” doesn’t have the same ring.
I tried calling the future to find out . . . but there was no dial tone.
That’s because there are no dial tones in the future. Merely brain scans.
I think I had my brain scanned. All I could hear was laughter.
“a real left-clicker”
has a nice ring to it, yes?
@Doctor_Who: We still ‘dial’ a number when we call even thou phones no longer even use rotary dials on them.
Well, to be fair, we may no longer be turning them, but we’re still moving on from one “page” to the next, so I can’t see any reason it shouldn’t stick around for longer. Idioms go away when they are no longer relevent, not just because the technology changes.
It’s a real “hit refresh at midnight-er!”
Oh wow, ouch.
Just realized, Ethan looks kinda like Roger Smith from Big O, especially in the last two panels.
And btw, did anyone else catch Toonami back on CN last night?
Whoa, WHAT? If this is April Fools, heads will roll.
A bit late for April Fools, don’t you think?
Not where I live. Still ripe for trollin’.
Unfortunately no that really happened. AND I MISSED IT AUGH.
Oh dear Lord, I MISSED it?
Nope straight-up they showed shows until like 4 or 5 am, and Tom reviewed Mass Effect 3!
Toonami’s return was an April Fools Joke.
A rather mean-spirited one at that.
At the beginning, Tom said “This isn’t an April Fool’s prank”, so who knows?
According to Wikipedia, it was half an April Fool’s thing and half in honor of Toonami’s 15th Anniversary.
A strong resemblance! THEY MUST BE RELATED!
Amber, use the unbeatable argument of “I don’t want to and you can’t make me.” Follow it up wiht “Mind your own damned business.” to really end the discussion.
“I just got over the death of a hamster.”
“That was months ago.”
“I’m in a bad mood because it’s my time of the month.”
“Can’t be, you’re pregnant.”
“I’m…Batman?”
“I KNOW!”
“wouldn’t it be more fun if mike did it?”
I think we have a winner.
“It will blow his creepy little mind”
“No one really…likes Faz…I don’t wanna bust his balls about this too”
Dammit Willis! You made a story that revolves around FAZ!
I’m picturing Willis rubbing his hands together and saying “Complain about Malaya-centric stories? I’ll show ya!”
and then he laughs maniacally as lightining strikes behind him
And in that moment, all you can see is the shadow of a perfectly circular head.
Do not forget the milk-jug ears and the followup wisps of smoke and the smell of scorched and burning polyester-cotton blend.
So God smote him for making a Faz-Centric storyline?
Figures. Making his son a toy store employee went over fine (I bet he prints the strips out and puts them on his giant celestial fridge), but a FAZ STORY?! Now he’s in trouble.
Still not sure why the death would change anything. Nobody was rushing to tell Faz where he could go to meet his long-lost father before. Now that the guy’s dead Amber’s supposed to be jumping at the opportunity to tell the guy he can never meet his biological father? No part of this makes sense to me.
Yep. I’d have to take Amber’s side in this. She has no valid reason to tell Faz. It’s not like he once knew his father and lost contact; he’s never known the man. For all Faz knows, his father’s been dead and gone for years. I see no good in telling him.
Was there even actual proof that Amber’s dad is also Faz’s? I faintly remember Amber coming to believe that it was most likely true, but nothing was actually proven, was it?
Robin did run the DNA tests, so assuming Robin’s a reliable source of information we can treat their common genetic predecessor as established fact. Hell of an assumption to be sure, but if SEME was involved I can believe that they would’ve known to double-check this stuff.
Still, even then I don’t even get the point Ethan’s trying to make. He’s talking as if it somehow makes a difference whether he finds out that he can never meet the guy today or ten years from now. The man’s not getting any more dead. Time is not of the essence here.
Plus it seems a little vindictive of him to start accusing Amber of robbing Faz of that choice now when he was totally complicit to the secret for years and never raised any objections before. He could’ve told Faz as easily as anyone else with the information if he really felt the guy had a right to know.
MAYBE this way he could attend the funeral. Jeeze, people.
The fact is, everybody in the store knew except Faz, which is kind of cruel itself. And Amber is family, and knew him, and knew Faz wanted to meet him, and specifically avoided telling him. Did she have good reason? Definitely.
But he still might have wanted to know his dad, and now he won’t have the choice. And anybody could have told him, but it would have been disrespectful to Amber to do it behind her back.
In short, no it’s not her job or responsibility to tell him, but it’s more hers than anybody else’s, and it’s the decent thing to do.
Which would only be a remotely valid excuse for Ethan to start condemning Amber over this if he hadn’t stayed silent on the subject for literally years. He only speaks up after the guy croaks and she’s got no way to undo this.
Where was all that talk of how Amber’s doing Faz a huge disservice by denying him the choice to meet his genetic predecessor during all the years where there was anything to be done about it?
Plus if he really felt strongly that Faz had a right to know and he kept the secret anyway because he didn’t want to disrespect his friend then he’s at the very least a terrible coward. At least Amber was acting in accordance with what she felt was right. He was just deflecting moral responsibility onto someone else so he wouldn’t have to do anything. If you can’t so much as risk offending a friend when you feel that they are acting morally reprehensible then you don’t have any right to stand on your holy horse when all is said and done and all that’s left is to take a lesson away for next time.
Then he starts shutting down her excuses one by one. Even right now. If he feels that right now Faz has some right to know because the father just died, then what’s his excuse? Why does he get to just stand there and guilt her into doing what he feels should be done?
Maybe because she is technically family and he is not?
Make all the excuses you want but when it comes down to it, this is the very last chance that Faz, no love lost on the lil creep, has to actually meet his sire.
Um, no it’s not. That last chance was yesterday. Now the guy’s dead. Nobody to meet.
And if we’re gonna go with the “This is Amber’s family business and her decision to make” angle then once again he needs to back the fuck off and let her handle her own business.
And even then if we’re assuming that this is Amber’s decision but it is somehow completely appropriate for Ethan to shame and pressure her into making the decision he approves of, then why the fuck was he silent all those years when anything could be done. Last week would’ve been a useful time to chip in with his moral objections to this secret. Now it’s over and he’s chewing her out for something he watched her do in silence for years.
He’s no better than those people he hates who keep interrupting his conversations about transformers and superheroes with “Well you know what I think about this!” before spewing a bunch of hate and perceived superiority. Here Amber was minding her own fucking family business when Ethan chips in with the “Well you know what I think you should do. GUILTGUILTSHAMESHAMEIKNOWBESTIKNOWBEST”.
What’s that, Amber doesn’t wanna do what Ethan knows she should? Too fucking bad because Ethan won’t accept that, but conveniently it can only be Amber who does what Ethan feels is right.
FUNERAL. FUUUNNNNNNNERRAAAAAAAAAL.
He’s not the same as the annoying customers who walk in and start complaining. He’s Amber’s friend. Whether we like it or not, she’s connected to Faz in a unique way. Amber feels bad. Ethan can pick up on it. He’s her friend.
Ethan isn’t always right- remember that whole “locking Galasso in a cage for half a year” thing? I think the (or at least A) lesson from that is that Ethan’s function isn’t to be morally infallible, but rather to bring out the best in the moral decisions of others.
To be completely fair, yes, if we look at this as “Ethan, what a hypocrite, he’s being so judgmental and self-righteous!” then, yes, that all is true. But if we look at it as Ethan being a good friend and nudging his friend toward confrontong something that’s been bothering her as possibly helping her grow as a person, then I think his actions make perfect sense, and he’s right to say what he is.
“Faz’s wish to meet his biological father is like the only humanizing thing about the little creep. Therefore, we must rob him of that!”
“Amber, Faz’s wish to meet his biological father’s like the ONLY humanizing thing about the little creep. Once you tell him that this will never be, that last human trait will wither and die away, and he will be able to devote ALL his energies to horribly doomed plans, self-aggrandizement and a creepy fearsomeness that’s out of all proportion to his intelligence. Don’t you want him to self-actualize, Amber? Don’t be selfish.”
You are a cruel, cruel man, Mr. Campbell.
This is exactly my thoughts on this matter. Amber should get rid of Faz’s last humanizing thing so that he can be even more of a creep? Hell no, this is why Amber shouldn’t tell Faz that his biological father, who is also her father, is dead.
Whoever said that, since T Campbell is usually so insightful, the moments when he gets silly are all the better, was correct.
There is one good reason to tell him. The funeral. It is already to late to introduce him to his father but he can still see him buried/memorialized and be there with the family.
Nothing very appealing in that but those are heavy things to take from a person nonetheless.
If she has to tell him, tell him the truth they way Mike would have.
Well, it is Faz’s mom. She might be into pregnant girls.
…with a punch to the face and a condescending remark refering to his mom?
That could work and who knows, Faz may even score some Woobie points for a change.
Ethan’s laying it on Amber pretty thick. He didn’t tell Faz either and one could argue that she didn’t tell Faz to not only give him peace of mind but to help preserve his job as this all happened around the time Gollasso was making cuts.
That is kind of Ethan’s function- he’s the moral compass. If that includes being heavy-handed, so be it.
Her dead father is seven months pregnant?
Now I remember why I don’t like Amber! She’s a bitch
There is no need for Amber to tell him. One it only hypothesis that they have the same father. Two finding out who his dad is should be something his MOTHER should tell him/be part of. Three If it is his dad, there no point in bringing it up because at this point there way for them to get to know each other. To tell him is just bringing heartache. In this case Amber is right and Ethan is wrong to push her.
As to your first point, no, it’s been confirmed. Robin got a DNA test remember? On your second point, I’ll agree. On the third one, he still deserves to know the truth of who his father was, though I guess this one is kind of a moral gray spot.
Amber’s got 3 separate Get Out of Jail Free Cards on this.
1: Her Dad just died. Her horribly abusive piece of sh!t dad but still.
2: She’s pregnant. Really pregnant. Her hormones make her everyday emotions a roller coaster on top of her dad being dead.
3: Mike’ll do it/will have already done it. He’s like the worst Batman and the best Joker at the same time. It wouldn’t surprise me if he knew about her dad before her mom told her and he already told Faz and Faz is just confused as to why Mike talked to him at all.
But the real issue is that Ethan needs to back the hell up. It’s her father, her family, her life. He needs to not be playing Jiminy Cricket right now. The one thing he’s not doing is helping her through all this by saying she needs to ruin Faz’ life.
Jiminy Cricket is a gentle non-judgmental voice of guidance and wisdom. If that’s what Ethan’s playing he’s really bad at that game.
Ruin Faz’s life?
They work for Glasso – in retail!
Funny how one of the most emotionally driven plots that has Faz at the center of it, also is the one where he has yet to say anything.
Horrible thought…. what if Faz thinks she avoided telling him because she hoped someday to consummate her forbidden love for him?
*shudders*
That’s classical Faz reasoning.
Debated on sharing this but having some one who is dealing with something similar to amber might give another perspective. I have a sibling that has no clue they have a different biological father and I no intention of ever telling them. A lot of it has to be the time factor. Every one knows but them and most likely they’ll take it out on everyone around for not telling them sooner. While this sibling and I have never gotten along it’s not the reason. Well, kind of is… Dealing with basically a more flawed version of malia. While it most likely be best to tell them, doubt it’ll do much good. They can’t meet them because the parent is gone and it is just ammunition for them to use later. Not keen on throwing grenades with the pin still in.
Also probably falls under my parents responsibility. Unlike in this well made comic, my sibling was raised by my parents with no clue about the truth of their origin. My father is a better person than me and thinks that having a loving father without extra baggage is enough. Parent situation aside, really don’t think telling Faz is a good idea and will just blow up if it happens.
Damn you Willis!!! For some reason I keep reloading the page every five minutes thinking “Did he update again?” This is after you’ve already updated for the day! I…I have a problem. :-/
In other words, bloody well done!
I have an idea! KILL FAZ. Faz meets his biological father, Amber doesn’t have to tell him, and EVERYONE’S HAPPY!
“I love this plan! I’m excited to be a part of it! LET’S DO IT!” – Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters
Silly Walky, there is no situation in which a woman would acknowledge needing any more of an excuse than “HURF DURF IM PREGNANT”.
ethan is going to pressure amber to tell faz. that his dad is dead. even though amber is having fun keeping certain knowledge faz has wanted for so long from him. though she can claim next that telling hm could cause her to go into early labor
Geesh. Can we put that drama tag back where it was? I liked this webcomic more when it was just about parodies and toys…
So, the first two to three weeks of the comic, back in the beginning of 2005?
The funny thing is, “the first two to three weeks of the comic, back in the beginning of 2005″ were actually about Ethan, Robin, Amber, and Galasso, and not about parodies or toys.
Wait, isn’t this version a reboot, though?
Then that would be an even more erroneous description of “the original Shortpacked!,” as proto-Shortpacked never had one single parody, ever.
There has to be something good if you’ve kept on reading for all these years.
David has always been more than just “parodies and toys”. It’s the drama that sinks its teeth into you and keeps you coming back everyday. It’s why It’s Walky! was so good. The drama. The angst. The… Perverse Sexual Lust.
Hmm. That’s what Shortpacked! needs more of: PSL!
I liked Batman more when he shot dudes with guns!
lol Dude How did Amber go from 33 weeks in January to only 7 months preggers in April? I know you said that there wouldn’t be a leap forward in time, but you seem to be going backwards.
Oops *23