Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
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Fleen
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Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
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Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
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Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
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Overcompensating
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Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
DRAMA TAG!
is this the new “first”??
please tell me it is.
It is if you want it to be.
http://images.yuku.com/image/bmp/6263557e4cf0a0802fa6dbbc2aa856c758b112c.bmp
Dharma tag!
Oh crap! Not that!
(unless you mean Greg & Dharma; some Jenna Elfman in here would be welcome)
Fine. She can play Leslie in Shortpacked! the Movie.
Check out the second GIS result. She can even pull off the requisite hairdo.
Thing is, the Real Jesus would’ve seen it coming.
Les, this guy fought the entire Greek pantheon and won, or so I’ve been told. Good luck with that.
Okay, you just gave me a vision of Jesus being the star of the God of War games instead of Kratos.
I…would play the hell out of that!
Me, I’ll take the HISHE version for another GoW game, where at the end of the last one, “Bring me more Gods!” “Kratos, there are no more Gods” “No more GREEK Gods” Cue the other pantheons slaughteration, (including the Christian- of course, with Morgan Freeman as God)
Of course, Morgan Freeman doesn’t get killed by Kratos. Because, no one can ever be mad at Morgan Freeman.
I was after Wanted.
But that’s another story for another time.
I gotta see that. I’ve always thought Morgan Freeman should play a villain, it would be perfect anti-typecasting.
Now I just want to see him in something with Martin Freeman. Because of the names.
Or just another penguin movie.
I think he’s good in the movie. The only problem is he’s almost the *only* good thing in the movie.
Freeman actually got his big break in the 70′s playing pimps, back when that was the only role black actors could get. Hooray progress!
Lucky Number Slevin. Morgan Freeman does a good crime boss.
I don’t think they ever made a video game, but…
http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2011/04/godyssey-1.html
You could read it, if you want
Leslie is arguably more like Robin than she thinks.
A tall blonde woman assaulting a small Jew I can’t say I have ever seen this before.
Come to think of it Leslie’s not that tall.
Well, at least she doesn’t have blue eyes.
Leslie looks like she’s going to crucify him for no good reason.
Dude, he’s Jesus, the Christian Martial Artist. Or was it pronounced “Hay-sus”?
At least she doesn’t have a nail-gun on her, now that would be bad.
Using a nail-gun on a carpenter? Now that’s just mean.
Especially if you use it incorrectly in the process.
I don’t think she is going to kick his ass. I think she is mad because of all the stuff her family has put her through because of their religion and the possibility of a historical Jesus in the store has brought these feelings to the surface. I think she wants to confront the persecution she has faced and still faces.
Confront it – by kicking his ass!
YES DO IT EPIC LESBIAN ASS-KICKING
Yep. Looks like “blames him for her family’s bigotry” was the right guess.
Possibly or maybe she’s going to get some answers with force if necessary. Personally I’d love it if Jesus could come back and set some things straight. I know he’d probably agree with the fundamentalists on some things, but in the end I think they’d be more disillusioned than smug.
No matter how much he agrees with, he’s probably going to be rather pissed at a fair bit of what happens in his name.
Historical Jesus huh.
I’m still waiting for Mythical Christian Jesus to show up.
They could fight eachother! Have a Jesus-off! Show-down at sunset, choose your Jesus.
My guess is they’d call him a no good hippy or something and ignore him.
They’d try. Then he’d start going after televangelists and megachurch preachers with a whip of cords while shouting about turning his Father’s house into a den of thieves. The man did not like people who used their religious authority to fleece the rubes.
Don’t forget about the KKK and the Westboro Baptist Church, both of which use his name and claims of following him actively. Whole NEW kinds of sins in his name for him to freak out over!
It would take a lot more than Historical Jesus (or even Mythical Christian Jesus) to get fundamentalist Christians to change their minds about any of their preconceived prejudices.
Are you kidding? The Fundies would kill Jesus if he came back.
Hmm…nah. If Leslie was going to beat answers out of someone, she’d probably at least ask the questions first.
As for agreeing with the Fundamentalists…I don’t know. Modern American Fundamentalist Christians are obsessed with sexual sins and believe that prosperity is a sign of God’s favor and one’s own personal righteousness, all of which is pretty much the exact opposite of what Jesus preached. I honestly don’t see many points of agreement.
Typical.
What are the odds of today’s DOA being titled “Lent” and today’s Shortpacked! being titled “Sabbath?”
Very good considering the author is the same?
Usually when there’s coincidences between the two Willis says they’re out of the blue.
Yeah, this wasn’t intentional, but I’ll take credit for it anyway.
Good man.
As you well should.
As a Jew, what Lent means to me: 2 for 1 Fillet O Fish!
I always find it very funny that all the fast food places this time of year start advertising their fish sandwiches, but never say why. The reason of course is they don’t want to single out one religion in case some Jews or Muslims a drawn in by the advertising. I think one place is even trying to suggest that having fish is “Spring” thing.
Ok, I’ve been staring myself blind at this… And I just don’t get it.
(if anyone is gonna reply, bear in mind that I am not a native english speaker)
Lent: A Christian period of fasting before easter
Sabbath: the Jewish holy rest day of the week
tada!
Historical Jesus/Jeshua was a religious Jew. That means that he practiced the religion of Judaism. Judaism follows the Ten Commandments. The fourth commandment of the Ten Commandments is “Do not work on the Sabbath.” (The Sabbath is the seventh day of the week, which for us is Saturday.)
As Ethan says, Ethan and his family are ethnic Jews but not religious Jews. That means that they have religious Jews in their ancestry many generations ago ut they no longer practice the religion of Judaism. However, religious and even ethnic Jews have been persecuted throughout history, largely by Christians. Historical Jesus/Jeshua expected that when Ethan said “I am a Jew”, he meant that he was a religious Jew who did not work on Saturday; this is not the case.
Leslie is a lesbian. Her family are fundamentalist Christians. One thing that many fundamentalist Christians do is hate a lot of things (like lesbians) and use their religious beliefs to justify that hatred. Leslie has mentioned before is that because her family are fundamentalist Christians, and because she grew up being taught fundamentalist Christianity, it made her hate herself as a lesbian, and her family also hated her for the same reason. This makes Leslie sad . . . and angry.
Now: most people believe that the man named Jeshua actually existed, and we call him the Historical Jesus. Christians (especially fundamentalist Christians) believe that Jesus was also the Son of God and performed miracles, died for our sins, etc. Non-Christians do not believe that this view of Mythical Christian Jesus existed. Leslie does not agree with or believe the fundamentalist Christian upbringing which she had, so she does not believe in the Mythical Christian Jesus. However, it also appears that she does not believe in Historical Jesus either.
The joke is that Ethan mentioned to Historical Jesus/Jeshua that both religious and ethnic Jews have been persecuted, often by Christians. Leslie had a Christian upbringing. And now Leslie is going to kick Historical Jesus/Jeshua’s ass (because she does not believe that he is really the Historical Jesus). Historical Jesus/Jeshua is a Jew. And Christians have kicked the Jews’ asses for centuries, which is what Christian-by-upbringing Leslie is about to do to religious Jew Historical Jesus/Jeshua.
I have now dissected this joke to death, but at least I hope a non-native English speaker can understand it.
If we can help with any questions you have let us know. I thought Lent was more of a Catholic thing? By the way, you have a great sense of good characters. Love martian manhunter
The impression I have is that any Christian denomination recognizes the existance of Lent, but Catholics are the most serious about its traditional observance.
A wise policy.
Whenever I read anything DC Comics (imported english original), I hear Carl Lumbly as Martian Manhunter.
Tut TBH, I’m more of a Dick Grayson person myself.
What are the odds? 100%. It’s already happened people.
…Sorry. I sometimes get a bit twitchy about misunderstood statistic memes.
I WAS RIGHT!
Ethan works on Saturday?! But that’s a holy day for him!
Transformers Prime is on!
As he said, Ethan doesn’t claim to be Jewish by faith, only by ethnicity.
The joke was that his “faith” is Transformers.
I need to stop trying to be funny this late at night.
Transformers Prime is on in the morning so as long as he works after noon he isn’t violating any commandments.
Besides, those commandments were made before the advent of DVR. It’s high time they were revised.
Come on Leslie let’s be reasonable here, if you’re going to use the F word, go for the gold!
For what?
“Existing!”
As an educated die hard anti-theist atheist myself I’m still confused by what is pissing leslie off. I don’t believe religion is healthy and I don’t believe in believing in things you lack established evidence to some degree of but I don’t see a motivation to kick some guys ass for supposedly being jesus.
I also don’t believe in a historical jesus in any way or scope of what the bible said for complete lack of first hand account for him to the point where the silence itself says something. I Don’t get why she is pissed off though.
I’d want to find out specifically whats going on but I take things by the evidence I have. Evidence doesn’t piss me off.
Maybe she intends to pretend Jesus’ face is Malaya during said ass-kicking
I’m really having trouble understanding why people are confused by why Leslie is getting so angry over something silly, even aside from the whole ‘my parents hate me because of Jesus’ thing.
I mean, I’ve gotten enraged by people misusing the word ‘literally’. Sometimes people saying stupid things will piss you off more than is reasonable.
Hate to break it to you but that may not be as common as you seem to think it is.
Yeah, I suppose I’d need evidence backing up my claim. Like, you know, a comic that’s been running for seven years that collects instances of people being pissy of stupid shit.
People getting upset in an irrational manner is less common than Tristan J seems to think it is. That’s the angle you’re gonna go with that is it?
Probably because Leslie is usually a lot more even-keeled than that. It’s unusual for her, if not for most of the other cast members.
Personally, I’m enjoying seeing this new side of her. Can’t wait to see what happens next.
True. It’s certainly fun watching her go.
It was mentioned several times in yesterday’s comments that Jesus is basically the Face of Christianity, and thus the face of the persecution of homosexuals. (Not that Jesus himself ever actually said anything about homosexuals, but logic seldom has any place in discussion of religious matters.)
Ohh god yes i would pay for this.
Just keeps getting better.
Are we about to learn Historical Jesus’ views on the Epistles of Paul? Because that sounds like some good (and controversial) times.
Is that the one where the (accused) antisemetism and misogynist stuff comes from, as I’ve heard, or did I mishear as I usually do?
A bunch of the misogynist and homophobic stuff comes from Paul (although there’s plenty in the Old Testament too), although I don’t think you can really call Paul antisemitic (he was Jewish, although he was more in favor of Christianity as a new religion breaking away from a lot of the Jewish traditions, as opposed to Peter and some of the other early Christians).
Half of Paul wasn’t even written by Paul.
True, but if he wrote even 50% of what is credited to him, then that puts him way, way ahead of virtually any of the other people cited as authors of the various parts of the Bible.
Plus the man was a tax collector and not even an apostle. That he gets taken seriously by anyone makes me feel all stabby.
Tax collectors are people too!
Admittedly, I’m not much of a Biblical scholar, but isn’t the whole point of Paul’s story the fact that he was a tax collector, but converted after God blinded him?
I thought that Matthew was the tax collector…
Matthew was the tax collector. Paul (well, Saul) was a Pharisee and tent-maker.
Okay, I don’t know where I got the idea that he was a tax collector. I know I read it somewhere, but I see now that it isn’t so.
F&$@.
I still think he was a jerk, (or at least, a lot of jerkish stuff has been attributed to him), and I don’t buy his conversion story. Sounds like the kind of thing you’d make up if you were trying to subvert a religion for your own ends.
lol, I just scrolled through the page and saw “Paul” and “misogynist”, so I first thought you meant Ron ~.
Heh
Not to mention the phrase “tax collector.”
But doesn’t that phrase cause Ron Paul to burst into flames?
Can we vote on this, because I vote “YEA!” to lawzlo’s idea here . . .
Ethan’s short collar is wise.
Is Shortpacked! hiring I want to kick Jesus ass as well.
Plus how does historical Jesus know when the Sabbath is we have a whole new calender now. I don’t think Jesus had leap years.
Jesus had leap years. Caesar invented it in like 56 bc
Woops! I mean 45 bc
Considering that Jesus grew up in Roman-ruled Judaea, historical Jesus was probably aware of leap years.
Besides, the Jewish calendar has a seven-day week, too. I imagine he figured out that Saturday is Shabbat when he, you know, learned English.
You could ask “Why does Jeshua also know how to speak English, turn on a light switch, read a roster” He’s been taught these things, that’s how.
So if Ethan is only an ethnical Jew does that mean he gets to eat bacon…or lobster??
Speaking as another ethnic Jew… only if he can get past the guilt, and get to like it at a young age. Its really an acquired taste, I’ve found.
Lobster or bacon?
Bacon, mostly, though lobster to a lesser extent.
Its easier to convince yourself to overcome the guilt and eat something when its considered extravagant, especially when somebody else is buying.
Really? I always thought lobster would be harder to get used to than pork. Lobster (or crayfish, but I’m assuming they taste the same here) always had a stronger flavour to me.
Then again I grew up with very English grandparents, who would serve huge, meaty meals at the drop of a hat.
Oh, they taste waaaay different. At least, they’re usually prepared differently, with different seasonings.
Guilt. It’s like the garlic butter of the conscience.
just wait until Sekmet shows up, and hangs out with Mike, I mean she does turn from all death destruction, mass murder and war into all nice when drunk….
Hey Willis, I just want you to know, I’ve been getting kind of uneasy about the direction this comic has going since Jesus appeared… until this page.
This page leads me to believe that everything is going to be awesome.
I’m with you. I kind of thought this was controversy for controversy’s sake. Maybe some sort of mad attempt to get the most insane comment section on a webcomic. But as long as the J-Man’s just going to be around for jokes, then maybe we’ll make it through this all right.
…
and the fight is on!
Why do I believe that Willis had this fight planned from the time he introduced Leslie. hehe
Even before she had a name. Back when he was drawing some nameless blonde lady working the checkout at a supermarket, he was thinking “This chick should totally fight Jesus later on.”
Stay good, Leslie! Stay good!
Hey… threatening to beat up another person who’s done nothing wrong, just cuz he may or may not be Jesus. That’s a perfectly healthy reaction there Leslie. o_O
Remember when she used to be the “nice one” in the group?
Working for Galasso will slowly suck the humanity out from you.
Lord knows what it will do to Jesus. If he ends up selling CPRs, the world might actually end.
Selling CPRs, asking for tithing on threat of damnation…are you sure he’d find the concept foreign?
I always wondered what the deal was with ethnic but non-practicing Jews. Though I guess it is possible that it’s a bit more complicated than a webcomic makes it look.
Well, the persecution suffered under the Crusades & the Inquisition (not just the Spanish one, which you didn’t expect), was where the ethnic (or cultural) Jews did a major split from the religious Jews. Also this isn’t the first webcomic to deal with it, but I don’t have that particular segment from “And Shine Heaven Now” where the webcomic artist dealt with it during her weekend strips.
I hope I’m not the only one thinking this, but how do you think this Jesus will feel about all of the gay people in this strip?
Also, LESLIE VS JESUS~! THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
Considering the fact I’m pretty sure Jesus himself was never quoted as saying anything negative about homosexuality, and the fact he was constantly preaching the ideas of being kind to other people and loving thy neighbors and how we shouldn’t judge, I’m going to go on a limb and say he’ll either be indifferent or he’ll be pretty cool about it.
Jesus also fully affirmed what we now call the Old Testament. And “judge not lest ye be judged” wasn’t a command not to judge; it was a warning that you will be held to the standards that you hold others at.
Jesus protected a woman who was supposed prostitute from the violent judgement of an angry crowd. He did so by telling them not to judge her, due to the fact that everyone has various things that can be judged about them (not necessarily the same thing). Isn’t that teaching not to pass judgement on others as a whole? After all, most people don’t view a prostitute as good career goal, but Jesus was still asking people to not judge or harm the girl and to put down the rocks.
He also told her to stop being a prostitute immediately thereafter. “Go and sin no more.”
(Also, that story’s authenticity is in doubt. It’s not there in the earliest versions of the gospels we have, plus it’s written in a different style.)
True, but he still told everyone else to not stone her because she was a prostitute or adulteress.
Yeah, I’ve heard a lot of people question the validity of the story, not to mention much of the bible as a whole. I’ve always been a bit fascinated to know what the original-original text would have been like.
She wasn’t a prostitute. If she were a prostitute, she’d have been in no trouble, since fidelity was only legally expected of women. The text calls her an “adulteress,” but the fact that she’s being stoned alone suggests that her “crime” was probably lacking a hymen after marriage.
Wait, no, I’m wrong. The Bible says specifically she was caught in flagrante delicto, but she certainly wasn’t a prostitute, which is the point.
She was caught speaking French?
That’s not easy to do when the only Romance language was Latin.
Adultress. Slightly different that a prostitute. Same difference for the message, though.
Jesus FULLY affirmed the Old Testament?
Then why can Christians eat pork?
Because that’s not really marketable, and Paul was all about the marketability.
What, you thought Christianity is all Christ’s doing?
The church I went to as a kid recommends ovo vegetarianism but also states that if you do eat meat, it should be only the ‘clean’ meats and not things like pork, eel or octopus.
I meant Ovo-lacto vegetarianism.
Because Paul…shoot, was it Paul? It may have been Peter. I think it was Peter. Whatevs. Anyway, he had a vision about seeing a whole bunch of unkosher (non-kosher?) food and hearing a voice telling him to eat, and he was all like “Nuh-uh, I’m a good Jew, and I only eat kosher” and the voice said: “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” So there’s that.
There’s also Jesus’s take on the whole cup-washing thing. That is, it isn’t what you put into your mouth that makes the soul unclean, but rather, what comes out of it.
Which really doesn’t make much sense, when you think about it. Its saying that either God changed his mind, or that the Old Testament, the parts explicitly calling things unclean, wasn’t written by God as it claims, which just throws ALL KINDS of monkey wrenches into things…
There’s a fair bit of evidence that the early kosher laws were more for the sake of avoiding foods they had little to no way to properly handle and keep sanitary, thus they styled the laws to avoid the whole mess altogether. (Not a ton, but I’ve seen/heard a few things. My stepdad is Orthodox-Jewish, keeping full kosher, with the exception that everything my mother (a non-jew) cooks/touches is non-kosher, by some standards.)
Modern conveniences and industry standards change a lot of that, but the laws are already set. Makes it hard to change, especially with the rabbinical establishment who have no need or desire to do so.
Exactly. Kosher = “don’t eat stuff that will make people living in a desert without refrigeration etc horribly sick.” The Shinto prohibitions against handling blood, excrement etc are similarly practical. Both are basically pre-germ-theory hygiene regimens dressed up in a form that people will remember and pass along.
Really? Huh. My dad’s orthodox and I went to a private hebrew day school for half a decade, and I never learned it beyond “purity”; also, it specifically says cloven hooves and cud only, which to me says more economic decision about not keeping animals that compete with you and only keeping grass-eaters, but that’s just my guess. Not sure how pork is any harder to make jerky or whatever than beef…
Also, one flaw in this argument is that I’m pretty sure that Judea 2000 years ago wasn’t all that much better than Judea 3000 years ago, refrigeration-wise.
There are multiple episodes of the Biblical Jesus explicitly addressing the topic of Sabbath keeping. As I recall, the common thread in all of these involves Jesus’characterization of some tenets of the contemporary priestly oral tradition as secular in origin, and hypocritical. However, I do not recall any instance of him indicating that the Sabbath should not be observed as outlined in the Torah. I imagine even Luke’s Jesus would take issue with a Jew routinely performing wage labor on that day.
But when asked to sum up all of the laws into the one greatest law, Jesus said the greatest law was: “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart and with all your soul.” And that the second greatest was to “Love your neighbor as yourself.”
Doesn’t leave a whole lot of room for hate.
The trick is to fudge the definition of “neighbor” until it only counts the people you’d have loved anyway.
It also pretty much gives you a carte blanche if you hate yourself?
Oh Les, don’t fall for the shite you’ve been fed all your life. Don’t visit the sins of the father (and the unbelievable amount of people who follow his every drunken word) on the son. The guy hung out with twelve guys and a single hooker. Do the math and you’ll find he’s more on your side than you think.
Leslie’s antics are poorly thought out and slightly scary.
But damn, she gets all the best lines.
You can say that again.
Leslie’s antics are poorly thought out and slightly scary.
But damn, she gets all the best lines.
You can say…wait a sec. Anyone else getting deja vu?
Leslie’s antics are poorly thought out and slightly scary.
But damn, she gets all the best lines.
::Hits Tardis console with a hammer::
There, that should fix it.
looks like it did! The Doctor saves the day again!
Man, if these fandom is good at one thing, it’s making doubleposts funny.
(If it’s good at two things, it’s making doubleposts funny and making puns on various terms for breasts)
Hey, check out the double-posts on her!
OH MY GOSH. By the time I scrolled through every comment on this page. THIS. THIS. SO very rarely have I LOL’d. LITERALLY.
Jesus will just keep saying he forgives her, keeps turning the other cheek, and she goes and hangs herself when she realizes what a bitch she’s being.
Nah, just kidding. Willis will make it wacky antics.
Jesus = Captain Haddock.
Can’t unsee.
I was going to say that. Blistering barnacles!
..and with Ethan being the tintin, oh the possibilites!!
http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/035/9/9/199_by_maggot_queen-d4op15a.png
(..cant unsee!!
)
..no, wait:
http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/345/4/2/the_massage_by_maidith-d4isbxm.jpg
There’s a small part of me that’s thinking Leslie took what Robin said about her subpar wacky hijinks to heart (for whatever reason) and figured “what’s wackier than trying to beat up Jesus?”
Sometimes, I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed that what seems so clear to me isn’t clear at all to other readers.
This story could’ve begun with David saying to himself– “You know, Leslie never REALLY loses her temper, not like the other cast members do. I’ve certainly put her through as much shit as any of them by now– either of her two breakups alone would’ve made most people Hulk out– but her essential kindness always stops her from taking out her anger on another human being. Is there ANYTHING that can get to her?”
The one thing that has CONSTANTLY been a chink in Leslie’s armor is Christianity. This has been the case since the character’s earliest days. Every time it comes up, it’s clear she’s angry or at least eager to change the subject. And really, guys, how could any of you miss that Leslie’s folks disowned her due to their particular brand of Christianity? It’s ALL OVER Leslie’s last storyline.
In short, this isn’t gonna work if you try to follow Leslie’s “reasoning,” since, stitching the last two strips together, she’s basically saying “I’MO PUNCH YOU BECAUSE YOU DON’T EVEN EXIST!!”
Thank you. I’ve been trying to say that for the past two strips.
Also, I like the idea that Leslie can’t get mad at people, but she can get mad at Jesus because to her he’s an intangible concept.
It’s like My Little Pony–every pony has her beserk button, the one thing that’ll make her snap. Some ponies, like Rainbow Dash, have it set on high, but every now and again, even Fluttershy’s got to go crazy.
I take it you saw last week episode?
I pity the fool who hasn’t!
That’s a pretty good reason to identify as ethnically Jewish!
Well, that and the official dogma that if your mother was Jewish, regardless of what you practice, you are technically a Jew. Everything else is how [i]faithful[/i] a Jew you are. Technically speaking, if you ask a Hassid, there are several self-identifying Christians who are actually Jews in denial (this part makes the dogmatic Jews very unpopular).
Wait, not Chassid, Labuvich. Maybe Chassid too, but the ones who taught me the “no escape” thing were all Labuvich.
And no, I’m not expecting anybody else to know what I’m talking about, but better safe then sorry, don’t want to offend.
I think Historical Jesus and Mike should get drunk together. Also, how long till the whole gospel of Ethan business comes up?
Never. We all agreed to never talk about that agien.
Am I the only one who thinks that Historical Jesus looks like Billy Mays?
Nonsense. Historical Jesus’ polo shirt is green, not sky-blue.
…AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM!!
I can’t believe no one beat me to that ^^
“The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.”
“Oh, good one. I’m going to write that down.”
Hmm. In the last panel, Ethan seems to be implying that Leslie’s attitude is somehow anti-semitic? Big FAIL, Ethan, how can you miss the point so spectacularly?
Oh well, I guess that’s the joke.
Forget that, he’s also implying that she’s going to fail to wipe Jesus off the face of the earth. The man is wrong on *all* counts.
Yeah. Don’t take up betting Ethan, you’d suck at it. Stick to blowing your money on toys :c
Look Ethan, Passover is coming up invite him over for the Seder. You’ll get Farshikkert, it’ll be a good time!
As long as he doesn’t try to make the matzos unkosher again. Flour and water only for kosher matzos, darnit! A little egg maybe to make it palatable to the kiddies, but metaphoric messiah flesh means you have to open another box of the stuff and start the blessings over again!
Real Jesus wouldn’t be surprised by Leslie. Fifth panel is proof, this guy’s fake.
That’s not surprise, that’s Oh Self the Gentiles are after me again! I remember last time! Which is absolutely the reaction I’d expect from Historical Jesus, and Real Jesus too if he’s not a masochist.
I remember this part and it sucked.
Oh gods, Leslie is me right now.
Jesus is about to layith the Sabbath down, on Leslie’s heathen candy ass.
( IF YOUUUUUUUUUU SMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL WHAT THE MESSHIA……IS…..COOKING) ;P
Wait, the nametags, the schedule, the timecards and the paper on the posting board – Shortpacked! is a print-free universe, isn’t it? Any text smaller than a foot tall simply doesn’t exist!
I admit a bit of confusion, Jesus was the guy who came up with the fact it’s okay to work on the Sabbath. Admittedly, it was doing good works that was permitted.
Yeah but he said that if you’re a Jew and you’re gonna follow the Law, then you should follow ALL the laws to the letter. Even the ones that aren’t practical… and the crazy ones.
Otherwise ditch ‘em and accept Christ as your savior.
We know that Historical Jesus is still learning English, so I’m having fun thinking about all the weird images he must’ve conjured up while trying to make sense of Ethan’s slang (“flip the bird”).
Tex Avery did it back in 1951, with a new arrival at the Pearly Gates telling his life story to a rather bewildered Peter.
Symphony in Slang
Leslie is now Chuck Norris.