Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Wow gross ~~~D=
She’s right though. That’s a documented sociological or physiological or whatever thing that happens. “Genetic Sexual Attraction.”
Apparently it’s the formative years spent together that locks family members into the “not sexual partner” mental mode.
Actually this might also explain Faz’s specific obsession with Amber.
CURSE YOU SCIENCE! CURSE YOU!
Yep. It’s called the Westermarck Effect.
A person’s immune system can, though very primitively and instinctually, be sampled by the scent of their perspiration. Females are atracted to men whose scent indicates an immune system that is vastly different than their own, and are repulsed by the scent of a similar immune system.
Siblings share strikingly similar immune systems, and thus, a sister is repulsed by the scent of her brother. Half sibling is enough to put a girl off, as even an half similar immune system is too similar to boost survival rates.
To sum up, yeah, Faz might be into it, but sister to brother attraction rarely, if ever, happens.
Unless she is on the pill. That puts her body into pregnant mode which reverses that situation.
Of course, Amber was on the pill (before Robin’s tampering), and now is pregnant. Mere biology is not enough to make Faz attractive.
Where does that come from?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genetic_Sexual_Attraction
Except, you know, for all the times it happens.
I was picturing the “Faz imitating Amber to a mirror over his bed” as gross, but that too ~~~D=
“Apparently it’s the formative years spent together that locks family members into the “not sexual partner” mental mode.”
Now that explains so many marriages…
No kidding! But I actually screamed out loud just now when I saw Amber smile like that.
That is the first time Malaya ever made me laugh. Well played.
Laugh? I’m horrified. Why would Malaya picture Faz pleasuring himself to himself in a mirror while he imitates Amber? I grant the mirror thing is probably the ONLY way he could do it but why would she picture it? I think she needs some therapy.
And why do I always get Roadblock? It’s awesome I’m just curious. Is there an artificial intelligence that decides based on the post content?
I’m pretty sure you get the same one every time. I always get the same one. I used to get the Flash until I cleared my cookies. I’m not sure if it changed because I cleared my cookies or because I used a different email account. Let me check by using my other email account. If I get the Flash, then it’s related to your email address. If I get the same guy I normally get (I don’t know who it is at all) then it’s probably cookie-related.
Or it could be both or something else. I have no idea.
Well it looks like it changes with my email address.
I don’t know WHY my computer is sometimes failing at replying. I promise I’m hitting the button. See the one up there? It worked for that one! :\
Maybe it only works with this email address?
Oh well. To reduce this posts spamminess, I’ll comment that I can’t tell if my favorite part of Amber’s Faz impression is her eyes or her boner chart.
She is freaking evil. I love it
She is the student, Mike is the master, make that out what you will.
That’s the best thing…she’s NOT being evil…she’s clearly legitimately just wondering about this.
I think there’s a difference between not being evil and being evil without even trying. Malaya is the latter.
There is a difference between being bratty and annoying and being evil without even trying. Malaya has graduated from the former into the latter.
And the fandom rejoices.
“Graduating” requires passing more than one test. We shall see what the future holds for our little Scrappy.
I think it should be “wondered if he can imitate” instead of “wondered if can her imitate” in the last panel.
And this is why incest is not wincest.
No, you’re thinking of twincest. Normal incest was never wincest.
Well, they aren’t twins anyway, so fortunately the discussion need not go there.
Not even Cancer Incest?
Science never lies!
I will now have nightmares about this. Thanks Willis! ;_;
I just had this weird moment of prophecy where I imagined Malaya doing something stupid that caused Mike to break up with Amber without knowing it and leading to Mike dating Malaya, and then horribly destroying her and in the process causing her to become a person. It was really odd how quickly it fell on me… but I think it could work. I doubt that’s what Willis has planned though, just my brain overworking because I have an 8 page paper due tomorrow and am superprocrastinating. :p
Good luck with the paper.
I think Mike vs. Amber could happen even without breaking up Mike and Amber. And it could end up humanizing her some.
Mike vs. Malaya, rather. I have no excuse. Brain fart.
If he’s a fan of Game of Thrones I would be very afraid to tell him the truth.
So does this mean all of other members of the shortpacked staff except Amber and Faz get dire wolves now?
It actually might not be so bad depending on what incestuous couple you’re referring to. I was thinking of Cersei and Jamie, but Viserys and Danerys could work in Amber’s favor. Mike is brutal enough to dump molten gold over Faz’s head. Of course Faz would say he was getting a golden shower before dying so even in death he’d be repulsive one last time.
Damn it Malaya! That disturbing image will never leave my head. Well, time to read some creepypasta to wash out that image out of my head.
The slender man is watching you. If you look out your window right now you just might see him…if you want to see him…
Bring in on, Slendy. I have ways of fighting you.
Does Slenderman ever actually DO anything? Or just stand there looking creepy?
Well, I do hear that he has tentacles and he been making people disappear.
I thought those were Cthulhu and Candlejack, respe
Also his victims reappear, stuck in trees, with each organ wrapped in a plastic-like substance
He also cuts people apary
Well played, Malaya. Well played.
Personally? I think the day Faz actually finds out, his eyes open up and that smirk gets wiped off his face.
If only…
“But Faz’s father is space pirate, not Amber’s dad. That is not possible!”
Amber’s mom lived in a spaceport city. Let’s let Faz have that much.
“Search your feelings. You know it to be true.”
Win.
I knew someone would take that last sentence and run with it. Bravo.
Excellent point Malaya, and done completely without being a bitch. The question becomes, who told her?
I’m sure Blanka will have some explaining to do…
Yea, did Ken tell her? And how did he find out?
He doesn’t make himself terribly obtrusive. I’m sure he hears lots of things.
Pretty sure everyone but Faz heard Robin in the last panel here: http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/01-daddy-issues/smurfs/
…You mean making her think of him pretending to be her while touching himself wasn’t being a bitch? (Especially hammering it home with the “above the bed” comment?)
Nope, perfectly reasonable question. Hell, if anyone’s being a bitch this strip it’s Amber. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s completely wrong and when he finally finds out he’s digusted and punches her.
Nope. DNA testing. They’re half-siblings through their father.
Not wrong that he’s her brother, wrong about how he will react.
Nothing about that last statement sounds remotely like something Faz would do.
We don’t know how Faz would react to anything really. He’s rarely taken seriously.
hot wheels guy told her.
And Amber’s kid will now have a phobia about mirrors, chrome, and other shiny surfaces. Good going Malaya.
This is the first time I’ve really not found a Malaya scene grating. Damn it she’s wearing me down.
She’s like sandpaper, very rough, rubs you the wrong way but after a while, things get a lot smoother.
She has true grit.
AbsoBLOODYlutely!
“How many people have you hurt?”
“Hurt, or killed?”
Panel 5 is like my favorite thing ever.
Malaya. She’s like Mike if Mike didn’t realize he was an asshole.
And was also a girl.
How do we know if Malaya isn’t Mike’s genetically altered opposite-sex clone.
Also, Filipino…somehow….
Ah, genetically altered. I fail at reading comprehension.
Mike is genetically altered, remember? Maybe the aliens turned him into a white guy, and that’s why he’s so pissed off; he’s not a jerk, he’s just gender confused!
Doesn’t explain why he has very white parents, though. Adoption?
Recessive genes? *SHRUGS*
I believe you mean *handwave*
Damn you, it’s 06:27 and you link this site.
Enjoy glancing at the clock at four AM and wondering how you wound up looking at recaps of Doctor Who episodes!
There was a plotline in Joyce and Walky were they go to a dimension that changes their gender. I think Mike goes in it. It was when the Fans! cross over happened.
I’m pretty sure that was before the Fans! crossover.
OH NO!! It All Makes Sense!!! Malaya is the unborn Warnerling, come back from the future. look at the facts.
1) Malaya has Amber’s chin. and even though her hair usually hides them, a more feminized version of the Mike eyebrows.
B)She dislikes Faz, but unlike everyone else at the store except Mike she doesn’t have a physiological repulsion to Faz.
#$%@) Malaya is a bitch, But doesn’t realize that shes being a bitch. that is the amber DNA softening the Mike DNA.
Well ok I’m not good at indexing but you get the idea!
Hypothesis time: What WOULD it take to get Faz to shut the hell up and stop hitting on Amber?
An identical clone of Faz only thing the Great Faz loves more then Amber is Faz.
It’s my theory that that’s why he’s into Amber: their shared DNA makes her the closest thing available to a female Faz.
There’s Rose across the street at McAwesome’s.
This got me thinking about Amber’s unknown extended family. Considering her “relationship” with Faz, does that mean Rose secretly lusts for Zaph, or are they dating?
Considering everytime their relationship advances Mike likes to traumatize Amber in the process will he decide the wedding, or when Amber is picking briedesmaids is the perfect time to tell her about them?
Cement tennis shoes or a gun. Whatever floats or sinks your boat.
Buy him a hooker. Maybe actually getting lucky (with a GIRL) will calm him down somewhat.
Then again, he had unfettered access to Conquest for a while, and didn’t take advantage. Maybe there’s a hooker around that had an uncanny resemblance to Amber?
Robin would be interested in meeting her, maybe.
Then, a la Secret Six, Faz would somehow end up marrying them both simultaneously.
Cracked had a bit in an article similar to this. A British man and a British women met, instantly felt a connection and got married.
Then they learned that they were both orphans……from the same orphanage. You think they would talk about what it was like to be orphans but apparently not.
Sure enough they were related.
Normally they punish you for incest or something but the judge let them off the hook.
Huh. It took quite a bit of time but now that she’s been more fleshed out… I can tolerate Malaya. I can understand her. I still don’t like her but now I know where she’s coming from.
and now the image of the faz imagining himself as a girl in his bed is stuck in my head….thanks willis….thanks a lot…..
This is commonly known in the industry as Fan Disservice.
And here I thought it was commonly known in the industry as “Brain bleach advertising”.
Also known as Fetish Retardant.
The mental image of Faz pretending to be Amber reflected in a mirror above his bed led to a mental image of one of those anime sex pillows with Faz’s image printed on it.
BRB, gouging out brain.
all these comments……yeah i think they killed my junk…..thanks guys, it was bad enough as it was….now it’s worse
Boners
Wait was it confirmed he was her brother? I thoguht it was just suspected
I have such a terrible memory
Robin took samples and got the tests made…
And now that thought has been planted on her head can’t be removed…
Malaya, still a creeper.
FUCK.
Now that image is stuck in my head.
Is it true that abuse between family members almost never gets reported?
Well … that’s a chart Faz could possibly build up. As they are related, it’s statistically impossible that Amber will call the police. So he’s free to rape her. :~)
congratulations, there are so many things wrong with that (in the “that’s just -wrong-!” sense) that i’m at a loss for words.
well except for those that i just typed.
See? That’s the way Faz’ logic works: “Others don’t disagree, so I must be right.” – Why would he take into account that his statements just leave the audience paralyzed?
Nobody wants to spend much tıme wıth Faz.
Malaya seems to be enjoying the idea of Faz touching himself…could she be attracted to The Great Faz?
Well, let’s hope so. He falls in love with her, she breaks his heart, he jumps off a cliff, leaving behind a chart that shows the percentage for the possibility to survive the impact.
http://www.comicmix.com/news/2012/03/19/mix-march-madness-2012-webcomics-tournament-round-2-vote-now/
Will this push Faz through to the final four?
+1 Malaya point.
I rather doubt that Faz has figured out masturbating yet. I’m surprised that he can handle stuff like wearing socks and breathing.
Do we really have to talk abou Faz touching himself?
It’s either that or WATCH him touching himself, it’s your choice. >:D
Careful girls, he is not that far away, he can probably hear you.
Damn you Willis!!!!! That is a disgusting image burned in my retinas, must have laser surgery!
The mental image for some reason reminds me of that Buffalo Bill scene from “Silence of the Lambs” where he dances naked to the song “Goodbye Horses”.
Genetic Sexual Attraction? I guess this is the new Perverse Sexual Lust.
It doesn’t exist as a trope…YET!
I distinctly heard “Dueling Banjos” while reading this comic. Did anyone hear them?
Why is it when Faz himself talks I want to punch him, but when Amber imitates him I crack up?
I think it works the same way with Sarah Palin.
and George W Jr – won’t someone think of the children …. and punch his lights out … oh wait, I think someone did at least once and it didn’t help at all … with Faz I mean …. George? who know?
Since I read today’s Dumbing of Age before yesterday’s Shortpacked (referring to this one), I now picture Walky/Faz in my mind. If that helps any of you clear the Faz/mirror thing out of your brains.
If it doesnt, *offers free brain bleach for everyone*.
Brain Bleach aka Beefeater ….. The British have a solution for nearly everything. [ or is that solvent?]
Luke Skywalker just gave himself a pass based on this information.