Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
mike
ninja rick
nipple
optimus prime
politics
religion
robin desanto
ronald reagan
roz
sdcc
sg ravage
shattered glass
star wars
tni strips
transformers
transformers prime
ultra car
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
How could you?! Malaya was so beloved!
My sarcasm sensors are tingling.
I hope Les is being sarcastic. I thought Malaya was cool.
And feeding seasonal staff to the shark jokes, the actual murder of Malaya feels a bit dark for this strip.
…jokes aside, the…
Maybe Willis could seasonally bring back and kill Malaya?
I approve this message. With this. Which has my real name on it, but oh well.
http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/208358_1899491096296_1512226274_2030328_1353315_n.jpg
Why that would mean Malaya is a Skinjob!
I may have disliked Malaya, but she was fun to read about.
Y’know, what you just said is true of almost every character in this comic ^^
I’m guessing a “Scrubs style” dream sequence for Leslie.
I know Scrubs isn’t the first show to do it (way far from it) but I feel like they are the one show that used it the best.
I’d make an “there’s an app for that” joke here, but even I have standards.
I was gonna, but your standards shamed me.
We need to have standards to read this strip?!? Man I’ve been doing it all wrong…..
No, but they’re nice to have in case of emergencies.
That’s the great thing about standards, there’s so many to choose from.
Better standards than “standards and practice.” With those in place, Les and Robbin would have been “cousins” and anytime Mike punches somebody would have been replaced with a quick camera cut and a complaint about being lightly pushed.
Need some standards at the push of a button, don’t have any of your own? There’s an app for that.
Mangled corpse at the bottom of a bay? There’s an app for that.
I would’ve made one too, but then I took an arrow in the knee.
What are these “standards” of which you speak?
Savety standards for shafted projectile operation.
Err, “safety”. I hear there’s also standards for spelling.
Malaya had a chance to not be a bitch and handle this tactfully, but oh well.
Actually, considering it’s Malaya, that could have come out a lot worse. (Wouldn’t have resulted in a worse reaction, but still.)
This was rather tactful for her. Not a single f-bomb was uttered.
Please tell me that Leslie is speaking literally.
…PLEASE.
I hope so.
That would be delightful.
I cross my fingers that Malaya will simply never show u again, leaving it up to the individual readers to decide whether Leslie killer or or Malays simply ran off.
…that or Malaya will come in, sopping wet, kicked from the helicopter but not dead.
Cue cheering from the terrible people in 3…2…1
Huzzah!
Cue whining from the annoying minority in 3…2…1…
Yes the “annoying minority” should never express disgust with the majorities sicking delight over the murder of a girl who dared to be unpleasant…
Why can’t they just learn to conform to popular opinion!?
Yeah, it’s sick that we want exaggerated conclusion to an exaggeratingly unpleasant made-believe girl in a comic that prides itself on exaggeration.
Actually I do find it a funny way for her to go- (Mostly because I’m not that invested – Malaya just reminded me of myself when I was younger…)
But wasn’t people complaint that she wasn’t EXAGGERATED enough and was too realistically mean?
I’m a bit confused now…
I suppose, but to say it sickens you is a bit over the top.
The bloodlust is a little creepy.
Some people (here, even!) wish death on real people for much less, so….
Shortpacked: Buckets Of Blood
Agreed. I thought we just liked to see people punished by having Mike do their moms around here.
@Ash
And… that’s creepy, so…
@Ash: That doesn’t make it better, or less creepy. Just makes them creepy too. Because seriously. Who the fuck wishes death, or worse, on someone just because they’re unpleasant? Not even like unrealistically unpleasant. Just sort of a bitch, but with some redeeming features.
I like the idea of “Shortpacked: Buckets of Blood”
Can we make this happen? 0.0
In the end Mike can be the last one standing because he has no blood.
Just hatred running through his veins.
That’s right. The only person that deserves this amount of hatred is Cyclops.
and hitler stalin faz, though he is the butt monkey, and amber’s dad
Aaand cue indifference from the, uh, indifferent in 3…2… no, wait, we’re already indifferent. We always were.
Now I’m a bit jealous. I want to have a strong emotional reaction too!
Ding Dong The Bitch Is Dead!
(Even though I found her interesting as a character)
Can’t fault you for that. Ethan and Jacob are interesting characters to me though, Amber as well, Leslie too. Malaya was just unpleasant to read.
Wow – I hope Leslie isn’t being literal. I said I don’t know if I like Malaya or not, but it still reflects poorly on her to murder someone for that and It kinda makes me wanna like her less…
Although she’s probably only kidding…
On a more comical hand – Galasso is an impressively prepared man…
I doubt any of us want it to be literal, even the Malaya-haters. And are you really surprised Galasso is prepared for that?
No, but part of me wishes I was… -_-’
I DO wish Leslie is being literal
And I’m loving Amber’s reply.
I won’t believe it until I see a body.
*Gir Voice* YAY!
You know normally I wouldn’t take that seriously, but with this comic, you never can tell.
Hmmph. Well I am definitely partially wrong. Mostly confused honestly.
Though this does make sense if Willis is specifically trying to mess with the comments for dark amusement.
And the Fandom Rejoiced!
(Well most of them anyway)
You are a jerk for constantly linking to TVTropes. I just thought I’d let you know.
A Mike type or a Malaya type jerk?
A Mike type. Malaya would never mess with the nerdy interwebz
A mutant-hybrid-devil-baby spawned from the unholy union of a Malaya-type and a Mike-type could not hope to have your jerkiness.
You flatter me so.
Don’t worry, you’ll learn how to resist after a while. It mostly involves already reading the article link’d, so go ahead and read those mofos
Actually it involves mouseover and a “Aha! I see the beartrap and I ain’t stepping in it!” Then you saunter away, whistling jauntily and feeling clever.
I use that trick myself, if it is a TVTropes link, I just the check the bit after /Main/, 9 times out of 10, I am already familar with that trope.
To paraphrase dialog from QC, I look at TVTropes how Puritans have sex- in and out, and only for the procreation of children.
Verdammt, I almost clicked on this link. Some people have to leave the house punctually and this link certainly wouldn’t help.
You put up the wrong link. And after the page itself links to the right one.
I just now noticed these are four different people. . .I thought one person had gone insane
You just linked to a trope. After midnight. I need to get up for work in six hours you horrible person.
“We will, we will TROPE YOU!”
TV Tropes will ruin you life
Counter Argument: TV Tropes Will Enhance Your Life.
And that’s a good thing because…?
Well said Doctor. And ditto. Plasma Mongoose…..grrrr…
TvTropes for the win!
(And Evulz. Don’t forget the EVULZ!)
I am now at work, and very tired.
::Shakes fist::
Fuck no. 100% Your Mileage May Vary.
Anyone else want Willis to put up a “most popular character” poll just to see how wide a margin Leslie wins by?
If he does, he should put Joyce in the poll too just to see how confused his readership is.
If such a poll happened, I use every computer I could get my hands on and vote in the poll against Leslie, just to throw off the statistics. I have never liked Leslie.
but she’s the lesbein cutie!
ohh lordi i do so enjoy this
Man I hope that’s exasperated exaggeration because Malaya was the best character.
Sorry you got hurt Leslie. She was TOTALLY wrong for you. Better it happen now than deeper into the relationship. You’ll find somebody way better, if you don’t get back with Robin of course.
It’s okay, Leslie! Everyone will give you an alibi and cover up the evidence! No one would have to know.
Seriously, I didn’t even hate Malaya before, but uuuuugh.
Amber’s cheeriness has me a little worried here…oh wait, never mind, it doesn’t. Between pregnancy hormones, Malaya’s “Babies don’t grow in your thighs” comment, and the constant influence of Mike, this makes perfect sense!
Look on the bright side. For all those shipping Leslie and Robin the biggest obstacle has been removed.
I think the biggest obstacle to Leslie/Robin has always been Robin, for one reason or another.
Hit it right in the nail.
I can think of three immediate reasons, aside from the problem of Robin as a problem herself, i.e. personality and so on.
Poor Leslie. Hopefully Robin can cheer her up. I dont even care if they get back together. I just want them to be friends again and for Leslie to feel better about this especially if she has to escape to Mexico due to the Murder.
Bad idea, turns out the Mexican police has found that a really easy way to show they actually do their job sometimes is find people running away from the american police and send them back to be judged XD Unless you are best buddies with a politician or highly influential person you will be caught XD
Now lets never mention her again …
Pulling A Scrappy Doo, eh?
or Poochie, whichever works
Now watch as Leslie’s comment is neither confirmed nor denied over the course of the next several weeks in which Malaya makes no appearances.
Well now that you said it, he won’t do that. You know he’s contrary like that. XD
I was just going to make a post like this.
My bet is. . .2 weeks, from now we’ll get a confirmation of non death.
Agreed. Until you see the body …
Unless this is Marvel Comics, of course. There, death has no (lasting) sting.
Unless you’re Peter Parker.
Why did you do it Leslie? That is a perfectly good waste of meat that could have been fed to those poor sharks Galasso has under the shops.
It is unlikely that the sharks will profit from it. If she truly resides at the bottom of the bay, then she is most probably dinner for crabs.
As long as they are delicious Snow Crabs, I am ok with it.
Damn you Willis! I can’t tell if Leslie is joking or not. If she did it and ends up in prison then Malaya’s mangled corpse won’t be the only one in the bay.
(ATTN FBI: this is not an actual threat, only a joke… I can’t tell you how many times joke threats have bit me on the ass.)
You know, there is a simple solution to your problem.
Have your ass removed.
That might prevent prison rape but it would make sitting kinda tricky.
I’d be more worried about the sudden inability to poop.
I forgot the h in sitting.
They both work!
Is it just me, or does Amber seem delighted at this proclamation?
Malaya called her fat. And now scheduling will be much easier!
As someone who knows and works with several Malayas, I cannot fault her.
Now, I like Malaya, but HAHAHAHAHA! OH GOSH I LOVE LESLIE! xD
This would be SO AWESOME if Leslie was being literal and honest!
It’s not that Malaya was that bad of a character, but there are plenty of characters in the strip and this would be a great way to axe her and get some lawls out of it!
And there was much rejoicing.
Welp, that ends that I guess.
Wonder how many of those forms Mike and Ninja Rick have had to fill out over the years. And is “bottom of the bay” the only choice, or do you fill in a bubble to pick the location?
It was probably a matter of convenience. After all if you have a helicopter why not dump the corpse over open water. If Malaya is in fact alive she doesn’t have any friends left except Ultra Car, Ken, Faz, and Ninga Rick, the latter 3 being losers who actually want to date her.
Then Ultra Car goes on a roaring rampage of vengeance!
Malaya/Ultra Car – OTP!
It can’t be too many. Sydney Yus tried to kill them all, simultaneously blow up and shut down the store, and she walked away alive.
Galasso’s form is probably a “request for resurrection”. I mean, he did it for Mike, so he’d probably do it for Malaya.
That would be a pretty sweet health care benefit.
Yeah, great. Immortality, but you are stuck working in a toy store for all eternity. With Galasso as your boss.
I think I’ll waive my coverage, thanksomuch.
And before someone points out that according to Mike you come back at the age you died, I am assuming that Galasso uses some different method (or more likely, the Rule of Funny).
After all, it’s been noted by other characters that Reagan is awful spry for someone of his alleged age.
The CHEERFULNESS of Amber’s “there’s a form for that” is glorious… Though really, Galasso, update- There should be “an app” for that.
Also, wondering where my custom avatar went <_<
This could only be funnier if the next strip had Malaya walk in covered in seaweed.
I still want to see her get Amazoned, dammit. I will forgive her for everything if I can just see her reaction to that.
You’re right, that would be awesome. Too bad ultracar likes her.
Awww, I thought maybe Malaya was trying to really make it work with Les because she admired her and then got thwarted by her heart. Guess I’m in the minority of not hating her for this (so far).
Huh..I seem to remember Malaya going after Leslie to tick off Robin, who she disliked for the sole purpose that she “banged a dude”..albeit said banging was ill advised and poorly timed..
I wanted to learn that the dude Robin hooked up with in a cereal frenzy was Malaya’s boyfriend/fiance/ex. At least her hatred of Robin would make sense.
Besides, as annoying as Malaya is/was, there are far more deserving characters to kill off. Like Roz.
And she marches right over and drags Robin into the stock room. The End.
[completely misses the point]
Oh my gawd – she realized murder solves all problems and Robin is next!?
She’s gonna have to be creative when she murders Robin because that girl’s tough!
I wouldn’t say that, add some ratsak to a bunch of sugary snacks and I’m pretty sure that will finish Robin.
But would that actually work on Robin – didn’t she eat urinal cakes without much effect or am I remember that work?
Are urinal cakes deadly or just disgusting?
She did, she also drank dish detergent.
Pretty sure that Robin’s superpowers include an immunity to poisons. If there were some food that could kill her, she would have found it by now.
Unless it’s brussel sprouts. I was gonna say spinach, but then I realized she must have tried being popeye by now.
“Kill one person, and you solve so many problems! I wonder at the possibilities…”
Okay, that was a funny punch line.
Well maybe Malaya will learn a valuable lesson from this…
Like how to swim?
What can she learn from being murdered by the one person who she actually seems to like…
I’m personally going with – wait until she lands the damn helicopter and you’ve made some distance between the two of you before telling her you realized you’re not a lesbian…
These are both good lessons.
Sometimes I wonder if, despite his protests, Willis really wants people to post their disturbing snuff fantasies here.
(don’t take that seriously)
That’s what youtube is for.
What, taking comments seriously?
I never do and neither should you.
But what will become of Fuckface?
It will hook up with singlarkitty and it really will be babies ever after.
MUTANT BABIES!
Oh I thought she would throw her away from the helicopter XD (another reason it was a bad idea saying it on air, Leslie would probably not crash but she could just throw her out XD)
Nah I don’t think she is dead, but she just lost a friend she actually liked and Leslie’s friends now have even less obligation to be civil with her.
Which will lead to a Malaya tries to make Leslie like her as a person and be friends again shtick – hey wait – this could all be for the best for everyone…
Except Ethan – where the hell is Ethan! [suffers from Ethan withdrawals]
Hey, maybe Ken will have a shot with her now!
OMG. Just because she likes men doesn’t mean she likes him. She’s made it pretty clear she’s not interested.
It’s interesting that everyone assumes that to not like Ken, a woman must be a lesbian.
Ken’s just so sexy fine.
Malaya will rise from the depths of the ocean and he’ll ask her out…
On less Ken…
Ken is screwed – and not in the good way.
Actually, she might be interested in Ken. When she was talking crap about everyone with the car, all she had for him was that she hated his spinelessness. In a way that strongly implied she’d date him if he’d just grow a pair and ask her out.
Well, that was never my intent, i.e., all straight woman must like Ken. But now that I’m thinking about it, Ken must have known she liked guys as he seems to have known her for some time. But he’s never talked about it. Leslie seems to have just assumed that Malaya was a lesbian simply because Malaya was interested in her and not Ken. Bisexuality hasn’t seemed to have crossed anyone’s mind.
I do think it might be to Ken’s credit that he didn’t try to interfere with Malaya and Leslie’s relationship by bringing up any of Malaya’s previous relationships with men. (After all, maybe Malaya is bisexual.)
Of course, Mike just bring her back from the bottom of the bay just to piss everyone off. (This killing Ken’s chances
)
I read this as “Ken will finally have a shot with her, NOW THAT SHE’S DEAD.”
I’m not sure which of us is a worse person in this thread.
Next strip
Robin: “Hey Chun Li, what’s with the scuba gear?”
Ken: *dripping wet* “…Nothing.”
Oh, I thought that was the joke too. Does that make me terrible? Or do I just read too much Something Positive and QC?
Malaya could still show up to work. It’s not like there haven’t been people we know are dead working there before.
Malaya: [comes in dripping wet a week later] I’m back.
Leslie: [slack jawed]
Malaya: I’m a little pissed, but I understand why you’re mad Leslie.
Leslie: [even more shocked]
Malaya: Hey mother heifer can I get back to fuckin’ work now?
Amber: [sighs] Fill out the form…
Well well well…. Willis does listen to his readers.
Also, there’s never been hyperbole in this comic before, so there’s no precedent for this to be untrue.
Yeah! Go, Les!
The difference between Malaya and Mike is that Mike would intentionally do something like this. I’m not sure if that makes Malaya a better or worse person.
Well Mike does it to deliberately be a jerk for the sake of being a jerk seemingly regardless of his own interests. (Emphasis on seemingly, and note that not only would he do something like this, he did do something like this somewhere between Amber and Ethan)
Malaya does it because she’s an inconsiderate self-centered bitch.
I’ll let you decide which is worse.
Well, “jerk” is gender-neutral whereas “bitch” is female-specific, so bitch has got to be worse!
I’m gonna go with Mike. Mike does it intentionally because, like you said, he’s an asshole. Who seemingly gets off on being an asshole.
Malaya, on the other hand, is just kind of selfish, and doesn’t think things through. And is only kind of a bitch.
I’d go with Mike. He’s willing to suffer at least as much as anyone he puts through his worst. And Malaya is kind of selfish in the same sense that Amber is kind of pregnant.
That’s because Mike sees the odd bit of personal suffering as an occupational hazard of being an asshole.
Mike’s shenanigans are cheeky and fun, and Malya’s shenanigans are cruel and tragic
I love Amber’s face. Such glee.
As for the saddened Leslie/Malaya shippers – now your could ship Malaya/Aquaman
You, not your. Himmel, sometimes I forget to check what I write.
And next week, Aquaman makes a guest appearance as he drags a seaweed-encrusted Malaya into the store, throws her onto the Returns counter, and yells, “Get this thing out of my ocean!”
He has no receipt, of course, so he has to take store credit.
And endure a ten-minute rant from Galasso for not having proper documentation of a Customer Protection Racket.
Piper and Andrusi, you guys are the best.
Malaya hates nerds. No way she’d date a superhero that even nerds want to shove in a locker.
Did someone say it was the Super Friends version of Aquaman?
Unless its the badass bearded version, he still belongs in a locker with his underpants pulled over his head.
And even Fishstick McBeardy kinda seemed like he was trying too hard at times.
Maybe they have something in common.
I think every Aquaman is functionally either the Super Friends version or the badass bearded version.
I meant maybe Malaya and Aquaman have something in common.
I am delighted to see this new transition for Malaya. I fear, though, that the Undead Malaya will be a whole new problem.
Why do I get images of Zombie Pirate LeChuck in my head?
Looks like I’m shipping a Robin/Leslie relapse
O wait, I’ve always been doing that
I was going to make a joke about your name and shipping dead ships, but I have some standards.
I want it to be literal. Not because I hate Malaya, but because I think it’d be an interesting turn for Leslie/the comic.
I’m impressed, piloting a helicopter while mangling someone and desposing of a body.
I see why Galasso hired Leslie and why Leslie needs to work in retail.
I’m sure other bosses fire you if your co-workers constantly are murdered in suspicious circumstances after dating you.
I’m pretty sure a body falling out of a helicopter into a lake would wind up pretty darned mangled. All she’d have to do is push.
Ever flown a helicopter? Even just pushing someone out would be quite an effort.
Flying a helicopter is kinda like driving on ice in bald tires. You can do it, but you don’t want to be distracted when you’re doing it because things can go to hell really quickly and really badly.
A helicopter is a collection of random parts flying in a close formation, all moving in different directions.
she could have jumped out of the helicopter. it’s not like malaya knows how to fly one.
Honestly, I’m hoping it’s literal not because I hate Malaya, but because it’s funny given how Willis has implied the whole “here to stay” nature of the character.
Now I know how it felt when DC decided to pull the plug on Jason Todd for the first time. On the one hand, I feel like something horrible has just happened and I need a drink. But on the other hand my reaction is “….eh fuck it. I’ll save that drink for when something worse happens.”
Oh, dear. I really wonder where Malaya is going to go in the comic now that she’s alienated the only person to actually like her.
Wait… okay I’m projecting. Ninja Rick and Ken both like her, but Ninja Rick’s judgment is not to be trusted and Malaya doesn’t respect Ken in return. :\
You forgot Ultra Car… (new OTP
)
And we thought Mike and Amber’s children would be messed up…
Oh, don’t worry, as you can see, Leslie turned out just fine.
You see, Leslie’s mom doesn’t just look like Amber. She *IS* Amber.
Leslie is Mike and Amber’s child *from the future*!
I personally think Amber would be okay with her daughter being gay.
Being in love with Robin of all people might upset her…
Of course, being that it’s (future) Mike and Amber, they might just act Disapproving and Christian because they know exactly who their daughter will be and don’t believe in pulling their punches just because of family.
My Father The Car?
So what do they say to Malaya when she walks back in?
“So now that you’re dead, what are you going to do with the rest of your life?”
– from Heathers.
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
BOXES FOR THE BOX GOD.
All hail DAB. All hail DAB. All hail DAB. All hail DAB. All hail DAB. All hail DAB.
Yaaaay! Murder!
Ouch, poor Leslie.
I think Malaya isn’t really dead, just dumped. Stinks that the relationship didn’t last. Oh, well…
“We found the corpse floating in the bay. The markings suggest a crime of passion, possibly relationship troubles.”
“So you might say that here is where she” ::Dons Sunglasses:: “got dumped.”
YEEEAAAHHH!!!
Doc for the win.
There goes last week’s development.
But…but…who will take care of Fuckface?
Fuckface is free now. Don’t you DARE spoil this for him!
Wow, Amber is nonchalant about someone got murdered. Then again, it is Malaya.
^ ^;; I dislike Malaya, but, I’m sure Leslie is just mad and saying stuff…
We’ve all been broken-hearted and hyperbole about our feelings and actions, after all.
Oh hey! and before I forget:
Robin: *laughed in the face of orientation and gender and tried a relationship with Leslie that was happy, at least, for a while*
Malaya: *totally bailed by grossy girly kissy-kissy*
Say what you will, but its hard to argue who the better person for Leslie was between the two :3
Better, sure. I’m not sure either was good for her, but I’m not sure she’s been pursuing that so effectively either. It’s like watching a person go vegan, then try to live on a diet of cane sugar.
^ ^;; touche.
Wow, I said introspection probably wasn’t one of Malaya’s strengths in response to the last strip, but I clearly didn’t know the half of it. “All my relationships with dudes suck! What’s the common denominator here? Well, it can’t be ME, so it must be PENISES!”
George Carlin mentioned the idea that many of the world’s problems can be traced back to comparing dick size, so there is that…
IIRC, the dick size thing is a reason why people go to war.
Oh, come now, Mr Campbell.
She never generalised to a mere, fairly homogenous body part; instead she generalised to an entire gender, filled with all sorts of different people, as opposed to herself.
My dislike of her character (which I believe is actually endearing in a comic, because, you know, conflict) demands that this be far, far worse.
Now she decides that the common element is genitalia in general. Thus she pursues her new BFF: Ultra-Car!
I had a feeling it was something fairly shallow, considering how quickly she took to Leslie the moment she found out she was gay.
Malaya made a mistake and people want her dead? It is disturbing.
Hrm, is the Galasso form for dead workers in general, or specifically for Malaya?
I think specifically for “being a mangled corpse in the Bay”, as the reason for being late/absent.
Yikes, Malaya! Way to turn what could’ve been very understandable into a pretty insensitive treatment of lesbianism!
Poor Leslie. I love Amber’s face in the last panel.
(The bloodlust people need to calm the fuck down though! She’s a moderately irritating fictional character, go squeeze a stress ball.)
If Willis made a stress ball shaped like Malaya’s/Faz’s/Roz’s head, he’d sell a million of the things.
There’s a market a lot of series could do with exploring.
I figured after seeing this strip that Malaya must not be the most favorable character. I’m personally indifferent. I have some characters I feel are annoying (Robin and Faz come to mind), and some that are just eyesores in a shark-jumping sort of way (like Ultra Car and Faz). But I have enjoyed every character at one point or another (except Faz). Malaya was a character I was kind of at a -/+0 stance at. If she’s dead, that’s kind of. . . anti-climactic and disturbing. The general consensus in these comments is even more so. But who am I to talk? I wish it were Faz.
Assuming for a moment, that this declaration is a statement of fact and not Leslie riding her post-relationship revenge fantasy into the store, I have to say that Malaya was an interesting character. A person without any redeeming personality qualities whatsoever who was nonetheless so adorable that I can’t bring myself to hate her. I don’t mean that I ever harbored PSL for her, just as her appearance made me not hate her, her repellant personality kept me from considering her hot too. It’s just that I see her do horrible things, and then I look at her and the cognitive dissonance takes over. I think this was an experiment on Willis’ part, to see how what happened when he married his talent for fanservice and excellent character designs with a truely horrible character. I’m… not actually sure how that turned out.
Anyway, I doubt Leslie actually killed Malaya. While it’d be interesting to see Leslie everyone (Particularly Leslie, Robin and Ken) dealing with this turn of events, it’s just a bit to dark than Willis has been willing to go since the end of It’s Walky!. Then again, who knows? After seven years of this comic, maybe he’s ready for a serious, far-reaching shakeup.
. . .This might be even more disturbing than the death wishes for Malaya.
I know, right?
Until last Friday’s comic I quite liked Malaya but yeah, with this confirmation that Leslie thought that they were in a genuine relationship and was unaware that Malaya was using her to explore her sexuality, fuck her.
Oh, Mister Willis…. you and your fanservice…
Wow. Leslie totally wins the award for biggest hypocrite in this comic. I mean, really? This reaction coming from a woman who didn’t come out until she was MARRIED?
I get that she’s upset, but I lost a ton of respect for her right here. Sure, Malaya could have handled that better (and not framed it in a way to sound like she was using Leslie) but still. This is what? Their second date? And the first one was a group movie outing. This is a bit of an extreme reaction.
Maybe Robin will get some points for having actually been right about needing to save Leslie, though.
Oh, come on. Of course she’s pissed. I don’t think that she thinks she was right to get married before… Just because someone’s made a mistake doesn’t mean that they won’t be upset when someone else makes the same one with regards to them. I’m sure Leslie knows better than hold it against her for long, but of course she’s pissed for now.
Yeah, Leslie is being hypocritical, but yeah, she still has a right to be angry. Also, in Leslie’s defence, not realising she was gay until after her marriage may have been partly due to the fact society considers it against the ‘norm’, and as we just had a little insight into in the last few comics, she had a lot of pressure from her parents, especially her father, to confirm to the ‘norm’. Which is why I find DoA Leslie to be interesting, as in a way, she’s teaching young adults to be sure of how they feel, in regards to their sexuality. Ok, so that’s probably reading too much into her, and she actually hasn’t done anything like that yet…
Come on then, that’s an entirely different situation. Maya was not being pressured by her parents and society to date Leslie. It would have been the work of seconds for Maya to tell Leslie “I’m not actually sure about my sexuality.”
“Hi! I’m Malaya. You seem very nice and you’re certainly attractive. Is it true that you’re gay? I’m bi-curious. Wanna get a drink sometime?”
–Naaaaw. Couldn’t do anything as reasonable as that…
She may have been the anti-Robin, but that was one of the more odd ways to remove someone from a strip.
You know I hope that Mayla does come back. Only cause I’d like to get to know her with out me being bias toward her for being where I want Robin to be.
Very good, Leslie! Now go have makeup sex with Robin, since she was right.
The only problem with this is Robin might screw it up.
Leslie can’t just go around killing asshole people because they’re straight. But admittedly, it’d be really cool if she could.
Most of the cast would be safe from her wrath, of course. Only Jacob and Amber need to watch out.
Maybe Malaya was an aspect of Mike all along.
We’ve never really seen the two of them interact. Next strip: Mike walks in pulling off a Malaya mask.
i’m pretty sure i’ve seen them both in the same room. unless one of them was alfred…
NOT A DREAM. NOT AN IMAGINARY STORY.
Please Willis, I never ask you for anything.
I know it’s probably a joke by Leslie, but ugh,,,,I’d love it if Malaya just died, she’s annoying
Ya know, I actually liked Malaya, but I can’t decide if i want her to be telling the truth or not.
While I would normally be overjoyed at this prospect, I just got home from 8 hours of counting merchandise on the sales floor at work and am too tired to care about the possible death of a fictional character I didn’t really like.
Also somewhat depressed because I went out of my way to straighten up the stationary section as I was counting, and I just know when I go in on Tuesday morning, it’s going to be completely wrecked again.
Finally, she is gone. I at least hope for, maybe not the murder part, but just to get rid of.
You know what would be really creepy? If Malaya really is never seen (or spoken of!) again in this comic.
I feel like the only one here who doesn’t have a blinding hatred of Malaya.
Oh you’re not, I actually enjoyed her character, but my inner sociopath thinks this would be awesome if it were true
Considering how many other people share your view, “blinding” might have been a poor choice of words.
I hope that this isn’t the way that Malaya goes. Not only because it involved the possibility that Leslie murdered someone but also because it feels too sudden to be a satisfying conclusion to her story.
I hope we see the motivation for her actions explored a bit more deeply.
It will be interesting if the next strip is a flashback of said murder.
Ah, what a glorious day this has turned out to be. The day Leslie becomes perfect.
Lol. Well, I was half right, yesterday. Malaya was doing this because she had bad relationships, but it was more of a lazy, casual, user thing, with Leslie as just an experiment. This is twice as scummy as she does seem to really like Leslie, yet still used her. Sad, sad.
But now she is dead! So everything is great!
WooT!
I realize Leslie is angry, but how emotionally invested could she be when the only reason she could come up with for dating Malaya was her “nice rack?” Either she’s overreacting or she cared for her more than she was willing to admit to her mom (she did try sneaking her in the house so I’m not sure which it is).
Um. Look at the last page. Leslie explicitly says that wasn’t the real reason she likes Malaya, but that she just couldn’t say that to her mom.
So this is late enough in the comments that verry few people will notice, But I just realized something. Malaya is in the banner at the top of the site. The new one that went up a few days ago. Therefore she cannot be dead, because why would Willis draw her into a new banner jus to kill her?
Joss Whedon put Amber Benson in the credits the ep he killed her in.
Nah, he has a point. Willis hasn’t changed that banner since I’ve been here around a year ago. It’s highly doubtful that she’s dead. It was rather doubtful to begin with, but yeah. With that, it’s even less likely. Good catch, Thatguy.
Let’s not discuss Joss. I’m not particularly convinced he really cares about his fans, if his track record and shows are anything to go by. =\
I agree
I’m pretty sure Joss has stated he hates people and wants to make them hurt. Anyone who watches his shows for more than a season and expects anything other than pain is not paying attention.
networks and production companies should start hiring him to create the work then fire his ass before he can direct it
Nah, gotta let him stick around for the first season to get the tone of the world right., Then distract him with something shiney so he abandons the old project completely.
Yeah, if he wanted us to believe she was really dead for real (even if she wasn’t) he’d have taken her off the banner (then again, I dunno how much of a pain changing the banner is.
Then again, if she -is- dead for real, leaving her on the banner is the best way to keep us guessing as to when she’s coming back.
Maybe she’ll show up in a next incarnation of Sydney Yus’ Axis-of-Something-Or-Other. Though I can’t really see her giving that much of a crap about her retail job, I -could- see her being pretty vengeful for attempted murder….
it would be easy to remove her from the banner. it’s likely that willis drew everything on separate layers, if for no other reason than to adjust how characters are arranged. he could easily hide the malaya layer and upload the new banner.
but even if he has no intention of doing that, i don’t think this banner is meant to be long term. it has pregnant amber in it, so her part of the banner would be obsolete in a few months. willis could get really anal about it and update amber as she gets further and further into her pregnancy. but i could see that getting old fast, so i’m not expecting it.
It would be incredibly awesome to find that each day from now on, Amber’s belly in the banner has grown a teeny bit larger, perceptible only by pixel-by-pixel comparisons of the anti-aliasing.
I can’t wait to find out if it’s true
Amber’s face is so joyus; I love her!
This slightly rustles my jimmies.
Yeah, she’s rude, but not every friggin one fully understands their own sexuality until they try it out some. She dated Leslie, discovered she was straight, and told her. Would this be funny if it was a strip about Lil’ Leslie dated a dude and then told him he was gay and then we cut to the guy declaring he murdered her?
As I pointed out in the last comic, Leslie actually Did do the exact same thing to her EX-HUSBAND.
I mean, I’m not imagining that, right? Leslie was Married to a Man before she worked out her sexuality. The only real difference is that being straight is considered the ‘norm’, and so Leslie possibly had a little more reason to believe she wasn’t gay, especially with pressure from her family.
Yes, but Leslie was working out her sexuality. Malaya really had no reason to think she was attracted to girls other than “My relationships with guys don’t go well!”
As T Campbell pointed out above, Malaya was basically saying “There’s nothing wrong with ME, so there must be something wrong with penises.” Whereas Leslie was being pressured by her family, and didn’t realize she wasn’t into guys for a while. It’s not like she “became” a lesbian because her relationship with her husband wasn’t going well.
Are you even listening to yourself? Malaya is saying “Maybe there’s nothing wrong with the guys (or their penises) – maybe *I’m* the one who’s wrecking these relationships, on account of chasing men when I’m actually gay.” I can think of no way of looking at this and deciding that Malaya was blaming the guys without first checking rationality at the door.
Okay, read the lines up there again. Malaya says “I’ve had so many bad relationships with dudes that I thought I’d have better luck with girls.”
And you’re deriving that she thinks she’s the one wrecking the relationships. Despite her basically saying “Well these relationships didn’t work, and they involved me and guys, so… the problem must be guys!” There’s no in-between links, no mention of her being unattracted to guys… so how is your idea of her thinking she wrecked the relationships rational?
Because it’s not about whether THEY’RE gay or not. It’s about whether SHE is gay or not. See the distinction? If SHE is a lesbian and was choosing to date men, then the problem was that SHE was mistakenly choosing to date a class of people that SHE is incapable of being properly attracted to. In fact, taken at face value, she is depriving the men she dated of any accountability in the failure of her relationships, by focusing on the one problem that they cannot have been responsible for.
Now, if one were to say that she’s shifting the blame from her personality to her gender preference, then one might have an argument (presuming that you close your eyes to her pleasant relationship to Leslie, which disproves the theory that her personality makes relationships impossible). But the claim that she’s shifting blame from her personality to anything about the men is completely incompatible with the statement in question.
She never mentions anything about being unattracted to males. You’re putting a bunch of in-between links there that aren’t really there.
All she says was “my relationships with guys didn’t work, so I tried girls.” That’s all we’ve got, and if we just take that, the most LOGICAL connection is that she thought the guys were the reason for her failed relationships. It’s a simple correlation-implies-causation fallacy. “Guys+Me=Failed relationship, so obviously if I replace guys with girls, then I’ll have a successful one!”
Plus, it’s hard to claim that her “relationship” with Leslie disproves her personality causing bad relationships when we’ve seen them together in maybe 8 strips before last week?
…if there is any justice in the world, Leslie is telling the gospel truth here.
I’ll miss her. But I guess Willis got tired of everyone’s bitching.
OMG, Willis is gonna sell out and give us…wait for it…ZOMBIE Malaya!!!
Don’t do it, man! Zombies are so 2007!
I liked Malaya, but I won’t miss her much…she crossed Leslie, who’s my favorite character. You mess with her, you deserve what happens to you…
My prediction: What happened between the last two panels is not what it appears to be. Sydney Yus is involved.
Bye, bye, Miss Malaya can’t fly,
Helicopter went and dropped her and now no one cares why,
When that Leslie Bean chose to gave her reply,
She was wishin’ for Malaya to die,
Wishin’ for Malaya to die.
I rather doubt she’s dead, nor is her demise on my wish list. I doubt Amber thinks she’s dead either. That said, I wouldn’t mind if Malaya got ejected from the helicopter over some soft, safe landing area, at least as the rules of comedy define it. An offal truck would be my preference.
I’m not singling Malaya out for special treatment here. I’d be satisfied to see any cast member booted out of a helicopter into an offal truck, even in the middle of a beautifully expressed sincere expression of love. I’d have been as amused if Malaya had decided to boot Leslie out of the helicopter instead here. Sometimes, you just don’t care who gets hit by the pie, so long as it still gets thrown.
Still, the bonding time she spent over pies suggests to me that Malaya’s time here isn’t done yet. This might yet get interesting.
I, for one, resent mainstream media’s blacklisting of the More People Need To Be Kicked Out Of Helicopters In Fiction movement.
Perhaps we need a better name. MPNTBKOOHIF doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue.
Perhaps HElicopter Deaths SHould Often Transpire?
Would be comedy in and of itself if she crashed onto Sydney Yus who was vacationing on a yacht at the time. The impact sent them both through ship ship’s hull sinking it. CSI would be completely confused as it would look as if one person was killed by another person who was used as the murder weapon.
Ugh. Ugh. This is why I am so glad I’m not dating anymore. Why is it so hard to simply be honest and up-front with someone you’re potentially interested in? Yeah, yeah, best foot forward and all but a lot of heartache and headache and blood-pressure-spikes could have been avoided if, oh I dunno, Malaya had just told Leslie “Hey, I’m sorta still exploring and questioning my sexuality in pursuing you. Is that cool?”
Defense Attorney: Your Honor, my client could not possibly be guilty of First Degree Manslaughter.
Judge: An why is that?
Defense Attorney: For Defense Exhiit one, I present to the Jury a copy of the Mangled Co-Worker form, which my client had properly filled out and filed with her Employee.
Judge: Case dismissed.
Okay, how is all the hate on Malaya cool but not the part where LESLIE WAS MARRIED FOR YEARS while KNOWING SHE WAS PROBABLY GAY. At least Malaya figured out after the kiss. It’s not that bad and I’ve seen the same with a gay guy who tried dating me and found that even though I was cute, the magic was not there.
Because realizing that you are gay and not straight is morally righteous. Realizing that you are straight and not gay is morally wrong.
Because I doubt Leslie got married thinking, “Well, girls haven’t worked out for me so maybe a relationship with a dude would work okay.”
I would suspect that, when she got married, she honestly cared for the guy and thought that something was just “wrong” with her, if she wasn’t enjoying sex as much as her friends seemed to. She probably went through a stage of thinking perhaps she was bi, and exploring her reactions to that, before she finally realized that, contrary to not only society’s and her parents’, but her own expectations, she actually wasn’t attracted to guys at all.
I very much doubt she got married KNOWING that she wasn’t attracted to guys, whereas Malaya seems to have simply decided that Leslie was a good opportunity to explore with while simultaneously annoying Robin. Two birds with one stone!
Plus she aggressively pursued Leslie. She could have at least mentioned being “bi-curious” at some stage, instead of being all “No I want YOU.” Of course “Meh I guess not” is gonna come across poorly, eh?
So, like. I only came here because people were talking about a massive hate-on for Malaya.
Wow you guys.
Don’t you sort of, kind of, a little teeny tiny bit remember when she first showed up and she was praised for being such a delightful asshole?
Hypocrites.
she’s only a delightful asshole until she messes with a fan favorite it seems. in all honesty, from one comic to the other it feels like fan pressure more than planned storyline
Yes, yes, paint the entire audience with one broad brush, as though all commentators were in lock step agreement and identical every single weak. Are you naturally stupid, or did the journey up your rectum in search of an outraged opinion just left you blinded for the moment?
Week, not weak. Serves me right for getting annoyed.
I remember always expressing my hate for her. Stop being an asshole.
“So, like, I only came here to make fun of the entire fanbase at once. That’s my only reason for ever posting.”
Fixed?
Nailed it.
I actually went back and read the comments on the first couple dozen Malaya comments, and was surprised at how NOT rage-filled they were. Even such shockers as the “Leslie is fun to mess with” comic got hardly a peep; even when she and Robin both lowered themselves by challenging each other to a seduction contest with Leslie as the target, the murmurs were in the minority. This surprised me, and I discarded the comment I was hoping to compose off this information to mull it over.
After some thought I have settled on the following theory: the hate is caused by mis- remembering how one felt upon seeing Malaya in action. Malaya’s ‘storyline’ has been interrupted by several other storylines, for example the pregnancy one, in which Malaya would often get only one or two lines. These lines tended to inspire less-than-complementary reactions, and people’s fading memories searched back for whether these comments were out of character or not – and indeed found memories of Malaya being rude in the past as well. (Nice things tend not be recalled, since like summons memories of like.) From these memories once constructs a burgeoning rage, forgetting any affection or humor they once may have derived from the character. And, of course, mentally editing out any redeeming qualities she may once have had.
Suffice to say, based on reading the comments themselves, I’m disinclined to believe that anyone always expressed their hate for her. I don’t doubt that you remember expressing hate, after the fact, but that doesn’t mean it actually happened at the time.
I also find myself wondering if Willis himself has forgotten a bit about Malaya’s introduction, because she very obviously is attracted to Leslie at first sight, before she knows anything about her and before she knew she was Robin’s ex. The notion that her affection was faked conflicts with this evidence. And of course the fanbase’s notion that she *only* was chasing Leslie to spite Robin or whatever is completely wrong.
I have forgotten nothing. Friday’s discovery was the plan from the very beginning, before Malaya even appeared in the strip.
My wondering is over, then. She smiled real nice back then though.
From this I can only conclude your plan is not complete, or that you are pure evil.
Well, d’uh!
Well, if Malaya had convinced herself that she must be a lesbian (without any other evidence except ‘bad relationships with dudes’), then she may have mistaken ‘she seems like an awesome person’ for ‘I think I’m in love’. With a side of ‘she’s the one that will SAVE ME!’
Your argument is well thought out, but I cannot agree with your conclusion. Please see Dec 14 “The Muppets”. and the Malaya comments made.
What Willis has put asunder, let no man join together.
Honestly on the fence about this. I wasn’t crazy about Malaya, but murder is a tad dark for this strip.
I mean, I didn’t like her, but not enough to be murdered, in case you guys think I’m one of those creepy death-to-Malaya guys.
I love the bright, happy expression on Amber’s face in the last panel. ^_^
You people are sick! SICK!
I have no strong feeling’s toward Malaya one way or the other but dear God people she’s a cartoon cheering for her death (which most likely will be revealed not to be exsistent tommorow) is just sad.
Actually, because she’s a cartoon it isn’t. She’s a bunch of pixels on this mechanical thingy that uses someting called… Elektrcky?
You do realize she’s a fictional character, right? I’m going to stick to worrying about the people who cheer the death of real folks and those with a more tenuous grip on reality.
I don’t care if she’s the reflection of a poster’s ideal mate or perfect nemesis, but I won’t despise someone for spitting on a mirror.
@Wilder & Zuche: that thingy called “empathy” draws little or no distinction between the real and the fictional. Especially in the modern age – there are many people in your life that you meet only as text on the internet, and many other people you only hear about secondhand through news articles. The emotional part of the human mind is sometimes a bit spotty distinguishing between these various kinds of non-directly-known people.
Obviously, cheering for a real person’s death is more disturbing than cheering for a fictional person’s death. But on the other hand, the message is still “mildly annoying people deserve to die horribly.” Speaking as a person who slaughters thousands of fictional people in video games, even I would be disturbed at myself if I spoke gleefully about their deaths.
Except none of that is true. At all. Whether or not a person is real plays a HUGE part in how much people care about what happens to them. I’m not sure where you’re getting your understanding of “the emotional part of the human mind” other than just guessing, but people are far more likely to wish death on a fictional character as long as they keep things in perspective.
That’s why statements like “They should kill so and so off” are so often said. The “they” and “killing off” keep things in perspective – the character is a construct that can easily be abandoned when the writers want them. When you see a real person die, it can be shocking and depressing, but when a character dies in fiction, it needs to be framed and themed appropriately to make the viewer feel anything about it.
And of course, as usual, taking one example of “this fictional character should stay dead” and creating “all mildly annoying people deserve to die horribly” out of it is just absolute bullshit in any sense.
Read fanfiction for five seconds, or TV ratings for that matter, and you will discover that humans can and do indeed have empathy for fictional people, easily matching their feelings for any real people they haven’t met.
And people can easily be as blase about the deaths of real people they haven’t met as they are about fictional people. And they can easily be shocked and horrified by a fictional representation of death if it’s presented sufficiently realistically too, if you want bring in people’s reactions to SEEING people die.
Feel free to disregard all the preceding as you like, but it remains reality regardless.
I just love how in every single post you make, you claim anything you say as absolute fact, no questions asked.
Go back and read what I said again. For people to care about a fictional death, it needs to be set up properly. Yes, people CAN care about a fictional character’s death, but if you just see someone die on screen, no buildup, no reason, it just happens? People will shrug it off and keep watching the movie. Or maybe just be confused, if they feel anything.
Contrast that with seeing a total stranger die of a heart attack. Most people WILL feel something. Death, real death, is a scary thing, and can affect people even if they haven’t heard the person’s whole life story, or had a dramatic close up with somber music playing. It’s just a sad event.
People CAN have feelings for what happens to fictional characters, but it takes effort. It doesn’t just happen.
Well then, o master of carefully qualified words and lack of uncited statements, who would never deliberately move a goalpost even under pain of death, may I ask you to reread *my* statements, for comprehension.
1) comparing most fictional deaths with real-life in-your-face real-person-death is disingenuous. There ARE fictional deaths that can turn people’s stomachs, even without much acquaintance with the fictional subject. Defeating this instinctive sympathy seems to be a prerequisite for enjoying a certain class of horror/slasher movies. And regardless such ‘realistic’ deaths as happening right in front of you were not the subject of my comments.
2) Obviously nobody cares about the red shirts. (Or a lot of the deaths they hear about on the news.) Nobody cares about the bad guys either. Obviously a certain amount of character development (or at least screen time/exposure) has to happen fur us to care about a person/character. Either way. If they’ve been around long enough to build up the kind of hatred Malaya has, they’ve been around long enough for the less blinded of us to notice that she’s a pretty sad, insecure, defensive girl who isn’t entirely wrong to be looking for a good example of humanity to cultivate relationships with. (As in, not Mike.)
3) It’s pretty silly to be arguing that no empathy can exist when empathy is the whole reason people hate Malaya. “She’s rude.” To who? Fictional characters. And of course the real hate-on people have for her seems to be because they thing Leslie deserves better (or, alternatively, deserves Robin). News flash: Leslie is fictional. Without empathy for fictional characters, this discussion wouldn’t be happening. And those of us who recognized that Malaya was a full-fledged character and not a red shirt can easily find ourselves a little squicked out by she cheering over the thought of her death. Or as Willis said, “The bloodlust is a little creepy.”
1) So after saying “that thingy called “empathy” draws little or no distinction between the real and the fictional,” you’re saying there is a difference after all? That in fact, something needs preparation in fiction for the audience to care? So, in that case, the audience not being upset or saddened about a character’s death being blurted out at them would… make perfect sense? Huh.
2) The death ITSELF needs to have some weight to it for people to be sad, too. If they just said “whoops she’s dead” and that’s the extent of the talking? In a fictional setting, nope, no one’s going to be empathetic about that.
3) Pretty sure I never said no empathy can exist. I said no empathy can exist for a character death unless properly prepared for. Is that here?
Also, hey, master of smartass introductions, I’m not the one who said my statements “remained reality.” If you’re going to say your claims are absolute truth, shouldn’t you be the first to cite things, rather than complaining about other people’s “uncited remarks”?
Yeah, whatever. When this ever gets back to the points that I *originally* made, before the goalposts were first rearranged, let me know. My arguments remain in that quarter.
Oh, and you’re the one who said “None of that is true. At all.” Just a friendly reminder.
Personally, I was a bit sickened by some of the jokes that followed bin Laden’s and Kim Jong Il’s deaths, because while both of them were terrible people who pretty much needed to die, joking about another human’s death just is wrong, to me.
Having said that, my first impulse to the possibility of Malaya actually being “dead” is “Yaayyy!! *Happy dance*” She’s an annoying character that I find a waste of space. I don’t even think she’s cute. Her stupid turned-up pug nose annoys me and her personality makes me want to punch her in it.
I haven’t been calling for her death. But I am not a “sick” person for saying “Yaayyy!” when a FICTIONAL CHARACTER that I do not like appears to have been killed off.
Jesus. She’s FICTIONAL. My online friends are REAL PEOPLE. And she’s probably not even really dead anyways (honestly, does anyone think that Leslie would honestly murder anyone for reelz?), so let me enjoy my moment of joy, eh?
Besides, the message isn’t “Mildly annoying people deserve to be murdered horribly.” It’s “If you’re an annoying bitch don’t be surprised when people don’t mourn your death.” And that DOES go for real people, too.
It draws the distinction because people let it.
By all logic a fictional tale about a fictional person shouldn’t affect someone.
Though emotion doesn’t act on logic.
And on that note, I really don’t care because of one simple reason. Every single time someone in a comedy show or webcomic has come into the room saying “I left the body (insert whatever words”, they’re usually limping away from the scene. breathing. because the character did not actually kill them, and knew they did not.
Of course, should the creator of this comic decide she’s dead, I’m proven wrong.
My point was more about how people are getting somekind of sick joy out of the possible death of a drawing but hey whatever.
Time for some Aquaman jokes to go with the whole bottom of the ocean thing.
Hey, your banners/comments have been over the bottom portion of the comic all last week and looks like this week too. I’ve been having to copy/paste the image URL just to read the comic. Is there anything someone can do to fix it? I miss convenient, easy to read shortpacked that I could navigate through!
Your computer is picking up an old style sheet. You need to dump the old one from your cache.
Next. Where exactly did she park the helicopter. Or on who.
It will turn out that she’s being angrily euphamistic about Malaya, but that she actually landed on top of Ethan.
Malaya had bad relationships with dudes… there’s a big shocker. >sarcasm goes into over-drive).
So he whole reasoning is that because she couldn’t make it work with guys, she assumed that being with a woman would be the easier alternative? Well, I did want to know he motivation for trying to be gay. And as far as Malaya goes, this is without a question an in-character motivation for her, even if it is annoying.
I doubt though that Willis killed her off. We all know how he likes to tortue us with characters like Malaya.
And yet, she had a good relationship with Leslie, proving that she can and does have good relationships with those she’s dating – at least, some of them.
But did she really have a good relationship with Leslie though? I mean, Malaya’s primarily wanted to use Leslie as a means to gauge her own sexuality because she felt that her attempts with men always ended badly. And lets be frank, her attempt with Leslie didn’t had well either as shown above.
For all we know this how all her relationships go. They start off well enough, because she acts “nice” to the other person (despite how she treats everyone else), but eventually she does or says something that results in her getting thrown out of a helicopter.
Yes, she had a good relationship with Leslie. Leslie enjoyed her company, and she enjoyed Leslie’s company, and they both seemed to genuinely care for one another. There’s not a difference between “acting” nice and actually being nice, at the level of the events themselves, unless you want to talk about deliberate deception – and Malaya was honestly giving the whole ‘gay thing’ a try, not faking it. (You never know until you try. Or have a clearly homophobic reaction, which she didn’t.)
This is not to say that her big mouth didn’t eventually wreck all her other relationships too, but in all seriousness I doubt she ever pulled the “Darnit, I guess I’m a lesbian” card on them (you know, like Leslie once did), then I’d be hard-pressed to imagine how she could inadvertantly one-hit-KO a relationship like she did here. Perhaps admitting she was a Catholic to a Protestant, or something like that? Regardless, unless we get some flashbacks or something, we’ll never know for sure.
True, but I’m still kinda iffy on how good of a relationship it is. I mean, Malaya went into the relationship with Leslie without being completely honest to her about something that’s kind of a important. And when she finally said the truth, it was rather humiliating for Leslie after everything that just happened with her mother. Not to mention, Robin kinda did the same thing to Leslie, so that can’t be nice for her to experience again.
To everybody who hates individual characters enough to make death wishes, or talk about the torture the artist is putting you through, and so on:
This isn’t Plato’s cave, and this strip isn’t the cave drawings. There’s a nice X button up on the right (or left if you’re a Mac user). Click it. Or click this. Actually, that’s better.
Much love to everyone who doesn’t come on here for the sole purpose of complaining about the ways the artist is deviating from what they see in their mind’s eye. The comment joke sessions make my day!
But I hate I hate I HATE PETER PAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your link may not be doing what you want it to.
So, despite your coming on here today to post this and “I feel like I’m the only one here who doesn’t have a blinding hatred of Malaya,” (despite that obviously not being true for anyone who reads 5 comment threads in) you’re trying to say “Much love to everyone who doesn’t come on here for the sole purpose of complaining”?
What, is complaining about the entire fanbase (as you see it) better than complaining about the work itself? I would say the person saying “you must enjoy every character and every single thing, or get the fuck out” would be better off clicking the X button, or just… not clicking the button to open up the comments.
Willis keeps the comments open for everyone to post their opinions, aside from extreme circumstances. People can say what they want, and if they want to complain, they can. Making fun of an entire group and telling them to leave does not make you better than them.
The link was supposed to be to youtube: Bobby McFerrin – Don’t Worry Be Happy – in fact, that’s what it was in my clipboard, so I have no idea what happened.
—
My point is largely: find me another day with over 300, or 400 comments that isn’t largely people yelling about how they hate a character. Happy days only pull around 100 typically. The general idea of my statement is: if a band you like puts out an album you don’t, what is your solution? Do you write the band persistently telling them all about how their new album is not exactly what you expected, or do you just not buy their albums anymore? I highly doubt the former. Why is it different when it’s a web artist? I understand if people don’t like a character, and I understand their right to say so. What bothers me is whenever the chance arises to be vindicated in their dislike, it’s as if Willis just announced he supported SOPA or something.
Why does there have to be so much more traffic when people are talking about the various ways in which to make Malaya dead? I’m not trying to be a troll or a jerk, it just sincerely bothers me philosophically that it’s far easier to unite people in hate than it is in love, laughter, or entertainment.
Well, let’s not get carried away; there are other ways to get lots of posts, mostly involving sexytimes. Plus debate of any kind will always generate more commentary than otherwise; posting “Me too!” loses its luster after the second or third response. (Excepting when discussing sexytimes; see above.)
Also, Willis provides a way -a really, really easy way- for his audience to interact with him. Some of us may even be under the delusion that he’d adjust the direction of his story in response to daily comments. (Which I seriously doubt, but you never know. DoA benefits from not allowing this illusion.) Regardless, given this outlet, it’s no surprise that some (many) people try it out before abandoning the comic entirely. If nothing else it’s a chance to vent and feel that you were heard. (Perhaps by some other powerless poster calling you an idiot or whatever, but take what you can get.)
Regardless, however bad this might be, it could be worse. The same mysterious meme-generating power could be in effect here as is in DoA, tripling post counts but without the benefit of tripling content.
You, sir, make a valid argument.
So…..what does mean for Robin?
It doesn’t mean anything. They’re still on the outs for a separate reason entirely.
And as to whether Robin was right about Malaya: No, she was not. robin was wrong about Malaya. Even though what Robin said may have been factually true, the fact that she said it makes it wrong and a lie.
Robin did a horrible, horrible thing when she Leia-seduced Leslie just to prove she could. She was literally lowering herself to Malaya’s level – or rather to what Malaya claimed her level might theoretically be but she never went there. By my estimation, Robin deserves Malaya considerably less than Malaya on that act alone, never mind the fact that she’d already screwed the pooch (No offense, congressman Whats-his-name) months earlier. She’s got a lot of atoning to do before she deserves a relationship with *anyone*.
Other people’s opinions will vary, of course.
“Robin deserves Leslie considerably less”. Christ in a wheelchair, I’m bad at this whole typing thing.
Man I love pregnant Amber.
You and Rule 34!
(made you look)
Well played, sir. I looked before getting to your fine print, and all I got in return was that full-frontal Mike pic you drew back in the day.
How did you find that by accident? XD
Broadened the search to “Shortpacked” instead of just “Amber” or “Amber O’Malley”.
I actually feel rather sorry for Malaya now. She’s made bad choice after bad choice, and now she’s alienated the only person she feels cares about her.
Not to mention she may or may not be getting fished out of the SF bay…
Yeahhh… Malaya, I’m pretty sure sexuality doesn’t work that way.
Also, I really doubt that Leslie actually did go and actually kill Malaya for real (unfortunately; it’s far more likely that the next panel will have Malaya trailing in behind her and looking slightly sheepish), but, for just now, while it just miiiiiight be true and the comic is finally shut of an extremely irritating character (and not in a fun guy-you-love-to-hate way, like Faz): Yaayyy!! *Happy dance*
I’m amaized , two strips ago everyone was in love of Malaya.
One plot-twist, and she is the most hated in America (up to the point where people want her DEAD).
Mr.Willis, you’ve just shown how easily manipulable shipping-audience can be.
Now is that Form M-1808 or Form C-1000 that needs filing?
It’s Form HX-57005, of course.
HEY! HEY! GUYS! GUYS!
I’ve figured out why Amber is So happy at the news!
“So… things didn’t work out with Malaya… fancy getting back with Robin so she can move out and stop replacing my Birth control with breath mints?”
Or at least “So you can make up enough with Robon so you can both come to my Wedding?”
Also Amber is glad she no longer has to invite Malaya.
She needn’t have worried, of course.
As Mike will take care of inviting her.
Who is Leslie kidding? She doesn’t like Malaya, and she never did. I don’t blame her, there’s not much to like. But getting upset, and to that extent, strikes a nerve with me, because I never bought that Leslie gave a damn about Malaya. She went out with her because Robin was, well, Robin. She was a rebound. She didn’t give too shits about anything other than the fact that Malaya was attractive and into her. Or so they both thought, apparently.
Not that that absolves Malaya of anything. She fucked up too. If you weren’t sure about your sexuality and wanted to experiment, you could have at least informed the other party. That would prevent such messy things as what’s transpiring now. But given that Malaya’s, what? 20? Doubt she would have even thought about this beyond the, “hey lemme try girls for a bit” stage.
I don’t think either of them honestly liked each other, especially in -that- way. Leslie wanted someone who wasn’t Robin, Malaya wanted a nice chick. They both got what they wanted, and they didn’t.
tl;dr they both made a boo-boo
Oh good lord, of course Leslie liked Malaya. Otherwise she wouldn’t care. (Not to mention the ample evidence in the comic itself.) Please, people.
Okay see but I just went through and read every strip with Malaya in it. And, to me, there is nothing that indicates that Leslie likes Malaya even remotely close to how much she liked Robin. Granted, they were only dating for a short while, but remember when Leslie was first introduced, she was damn near obsessed with Robin. Even when she found out that she lied about being a lesbian and therefore, into her.
In fact, Leslie hooked up with Malaya right after she had sex (and a fight) with Robin. That doesn’t sound at all like Leslie even really liked her, moreso that she wanted to get with someone else who wasn’t Robin.
Sure, Leslie can still like Malaya, as much as she likes Amber, Ethan, or any of her other coworkers, but on a serious level? I don’t think she ever thought of her more than a replacement for Robin.
I will instantly concede that Leslie was more devoted to Robin than she ever was to Malaya. She knew her for years and was introduced in a state of blind infatuation. This doesn’t mean she had *no* feelings for Malaya, though. (I also am unimpressed by comparisons to platonic relationships-of-years-in-length; besides being unfair, they’re not even the same sort of thing.)
And I will concede that Leslie was rebounding at the beginning, but that doesn’t invalidate the relationship that followed. Leslie liked Malaya, for real, no fooling. Hence the disbelief and anger in this strip.
And because I’m tired of debating things today I’m just going to tack on a YMMV here and be done with it. Even though I don’t really think this is all that subjective.
If you don’t want to debate, you don’t have to reply. :/ No one’s making you.
Know I’m arriving late, but could someone please explain to me just what Malaya has to forgive anyone for?
I think she meant ‘You inspire me to be more forgiving, so, um… I know you’re mad, but can you inspire some more and… forgive me?’
That would fit in with her “it’s all about me” philosophy, but she brought it up in the last strip, before she realized that switching to women would not, in fact, solve her relationship problems.
Too bad Malaya inspired Lesilie to speak her mind.
I love how she’s like, “yeah I’m straight”
then (SPOILER!) Ultra-Car becomes a female android and Malaya starts hitting on her without hesitation.
srsly,Malaya?