He who Koops and runs awayon May 11, 2012 at 12:26 pm
I think I’d had a preorder on Big Bad Toy Store for “Nintendo 2-4inch Figure Collector Case with Bowser Figure” for roughly three years. Maybe more, I dunno. There was never a picture of it on the site, nor one that I could find online. And every month the expected arrival date would be pushed forward. But I held on to hope, you know? My collection of Super Mario mini-figurines reeeeeeeeeeally needed a Bowser. Yeah, I had double Paragoombas and double Koopa Troopas and such, but these were tiny guys, up against the much larger Mario, Luigi, and their frankly insane number of Yoshis. Pitted against each other, you feel really sorry for the bad guys, and that’s not what bad guys are for!
No, they needed a huge centerpiece, a center of power. But as far as I could tell, the line was likely dead. There’d been no sign of the fourth wave or even the “Figure Collector Case with Bowser” that I’d had on preorder since the beginning of time. Newer Mario figures had begun to show up, but this was a newer, smaller scale. A Bowser in a box-set had shown up in this scale, but, man, it would be a pointless Bowser. A pointless, tiny Bowser that would fulfill none of my collection’s requirements other than it being a Bowser. Bowser needs to be appropriately huge. Mario shouldn’t be able to look over the top of his head. You shouldn’t feel sorry for him as he’s about to be beaten up soundly by the legions of pastel Yoshis. Princess Toadstool shouldn’t look like she weighs more than him. And so I passed, and have continued to pass on him for probably many years.
So Wednesday Graham and I were out looking for Prime Wave 3 but stumbled upon this. There was just one giant carded Bowser sitting on the shelf next to the rest of the Mario/Sonic/whatevers in a Toys”R”Us. There was no sign of the rest of a new wave or of other Bowsers. Just a single giant carded Bowser, waiting for me, as if an angel had placed him there for me to find.
First I wondered what the hell was wrong with it that it hadn’t sold. I mean, this was what everyone in the universe should by all rights desire. It’s like finding Allison Mack sitting there on the shelf, untouched. Was this Allison Mack secretly a dude? There was a pockmark in the shoulder, and the snout looked a little incohesive, but it was by all rights exactly what I had waited for for half a decade and had basically given up all reasonable hope for. That thing was coming home with me.
It was $15. When I got home, I canceled my preorder. I also checked online to see if this Bowser was something that existed elsewhere in the world other than in my mind. And it does. So, phew.