Shortpacked! by David Willis

Discussion (78) ¬

1. 
   Ridureyu

   November 21, 2011 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

   Again, I reiterate:

   Mike knows he’s not built for comfort, so he stayed out to avoid hurting Amber more.

   • 
     Doom Shepherd

     November 21, 2011 at 1:43 am | # | Reply

     Makes sense to me. I’m absolute rubbish at anything requiring emotional expression, so I tend to stay out of the way lest my innate snarkiness, black humor and general level of assholery make things worse.

     • 
       Fren

       November 22, 2011 at 8:44 am | # | Reply

       We should start a club, if only so that my wife can understand that I’m not actively trying to be an asshole.
2. 
   Plasma Mongoose

   November 21, 2011 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

   There’s no danger of Mike becoming a SNAG anytime soon.
3. 
   Doctor_Who

   November 21, 2011 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

   Considering that it’s Mike, leaving her alone was probably the kindest thing he could do.

   You just know he had much worse alternatives.

   • 
     Inara

     November 21, 2011 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

     Agreed – for Sober Mike, staying away was downright caring and supportive.

     • 
       lawzlo

       November 21, 2011 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

       I wonder if the beverage he is currently drinking is alcoholic or not…

       • 
         Orion Fury

         November 21, 2011 at 9:44 pm | # | Reply

         Checks aren’t rosy, so I’m thinking no.
4. 
   David Willis

   November 21, 2011 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

   ahahaha accidentally put the font at Dumbing of Age size. Fixing now.
5. 
   David Herbert

   November 21, 2011 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

   There are three certainties in life: Death, taxes and Mike fucking your mom.

   • 
     Plasma Mongoose

     November 21, 2011 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

     But what would happen if they took nickels out of circulation?

     • 
       zodconvoy

       November 21, 2011 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

       You’re mom would lower the price.

       • 
         zodconvoy

         November 21, 2011 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

         Dammit, “your” not “you’re.”
     • 
       fellixe

       November 21, 2011 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

       That will only make it funnier when Mike continues to leave them.

       • 
         Stephen Bierce

         November 21, 2011 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

         Wooden Nickles, printed to order, are commonly available at Advertising Specialty suppliers.

         • 
           Stephen Bierce

           November 21, 2011 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

           http://www.drink-tokens.com/nickel.htm?gclid=CLjVue2Ax6wCFcqa7Qod33taqg

           • 
             Mel

             November 21, 2011 at 4:15 pm | # | Reply

             WILLIS: If you get these printed with YOUR MOM and some sort of Bank of Mike image I WILL BUY A LOT! LIKE ALL OF THEM
     • 
       Hiredg00n

       November 21, 2011 at 6:48 am | # | Reply

       I would imagine at that point he’d just start getting 2 for 1 deals & start using dimes
   • 
     Aizat

     November 21, 2011 at 12:16 am | # | Reply

     So, gravity is an uncertainty in life?

     • 
       dchorror

       November 21, 2011 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

       There is no gravity. You just don’t realize that your feet are magnetic.
     • 
       Jereko

       November 21, 2011 at 1:08 am | # | Reply

       As long as you pay the gravity tax, you’re good.
     • 
       HiEv

       November 21, 2011 at 9:03 am | # | Reply

       Gravity is just a theory. Haven’t you heard of Intelligent Falling yet?
     • 
       Nifar

       November 22, 2011 at 4:13 am | # | Reply

       You never know. You might get shot into space.
6. 
   BoringRocks

   November 21, 2011 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

   It also seems like Robin’s shirt lost the slogan. Unless she changed to an otherwise-similar shirt using her super-speed.
7. 
   arjay2813

   November 21, 2011 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

   i cant tell if mike’s last comment is unnecessary, funny, but it works for him

   • 
     arjay2813

     November 21, 2011 at 12:05 am | # | Reply

     there should be an “or” after unnecessary, not a comma
8. 
   alicemacher

   November 21, 2011 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

   Oh, Robin, Robin.

   Don’t you know that at times of loss, people find comfort in those things that never change? For some, it’s the passage of the seasons. For others, it’s the laughter of young children at play.

   For Amber, it’s the assholery of Mike. Would you deny her that comfort?

   • 
     Plasma Mongoose

     November 21, 2011 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

     In other words, if Mike wanted to be a major asshole to Amber at this time, he should act all sensitive, thus freaking her out even more?

     • 
       wererat2000

       November 21, 2011 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

       QUICK MIKE, TO THE LIQUEUR CABINET!

       • 
         AliaPie

         November 21, 2011 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

         But that wouldn’t freak her out, because she knows drunkMike is nice.

         • 
           Plasma Mongoose

           November 21, 2011 at 12:21 am | # | Reply

           Which is why he needs to do it while sober.
9. 
   T Campbell

   November 21, 2011 at 12:06 am | # | Reply

   Ah, see, Mike helpfully explains his gestures to those who can’t be bothered to look. He IS considerate!
10. 
    Sloth

    November 21, 2011 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    Mike got GEOGRAPHICAL on Robin’s ass!

    • 
      fellixe

      November 21, 2011 at 12:21 am | # | Reply

      Hmm, yes. Yes, this visual pleases me.

      • 
        alex

        November 21, 2011 at 3:40 am | # | Reply

        the only visual i got was mike drawing an actual map on robin’s ass.
        i have a strange mind…

        • 
          fellixe

          November 21, 2011 at 10:31 pm | # | Reply

          That’s the one!
      • 
        Spazman

        November 21, 2011 at 4:41 am | # | Reply

        since when is Mike a tattoo artist?
11. 
    Neil Robertson

    November 21, 2011 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Hey, Mike is drinking at the moment. Maybe he’s working up to giving Amber a more appropriate response shortly.
12. 
    Aizat

    November 21, 2011 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

    I think the reason why Mike did not try to comfort Amber is that, well, he’s an asshole and he knows that his attitude will not give Amber comfort. Let’s be honest here, unless he’s intoxicated, he will not have anything nice to say to her.
13. 
    AliaPie

    November 21, 2011 at 12:15 am | # | Reply

    That is quite a lot of fucking your mom received. Was it still only a nickel? Bargain, man!

    • 
      TheBananaFish

      November 21, 2011 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

      Two pennies. Filled out his punch-card, and got it for a discount.
14. 
    ALostProphet

    November 21, 2011 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

    Mike: And not a single fuck was given that day.
15. 
    cookie

    November 21, 2011 at 12:53 am | # | Reply

    Mike’s downing a tall glass of whiskey. Thats major consideration points on his part.
16. 
    emily

    November 21, 2011 at 1:45 am | # | Reply

    i’ve had hamsters and gerbils cremated. the crematorium back where i used to work in NY even sold miniature urns, so i’ve got all these 3′ tall urns….. where i am now in maryland, all pets under 50lbs get the same (very nice) wooden box. so i have a shelf full of mini urns along with almost shoe box sized wooden boxes that hold hamsters/gerbils and cats. it’s weird.

    • 
      sir buzzkillington III

      November 21, 2011 at 3:42 am | # | Reply

      quick, find the necronomicon and raise yourself an undead army of pets!
      THE WORLD SHALL BE YOURS WITHIN THE WEEK!!
17. 
    Ter

    November 21, 2011 at 1:49 am | # | Reply

    Stay classy, Mike.
18. 
    Jagger

    November 21, 2011 at 2:31 am | # | Reply

    Mike knows to stay away. Amber is her father’s daughter. When emotional, she hits those she loves (and like her father, she’s always soooooooo sorry and really/truly loves you).

    • 
      Tom T.

      November 21, 2011 at 8:36 am | # | Reply

      Amber is her father’s daughter, which is why she’s hooked up with Mike.
19. 
    Romanticide

    November 21, 2011 at 2:58 am | # | Reply

    Robin, do you seriosly wanted Mike there at that moment?
20. 
    Spidermaan

    November 21, 2011 at 3:04 am | # | Reply

    Mike: World’s Kindest Asshole
21. 
    Shifty

    November 21, 2011 at 3:23 am | # | Reply

    Why exactly is Robin surprised by this information? How long has she known them again?
22. 
    jaystyles

    November 21, 2011 at 3:35 am | # | Reply

    Mike knows how to make matters worse…which always makes his day better
23. 
    Osaru Sensei

    November 21, 2011 at 4:00 am | # | Reply

    Ah Mike, the lovable D**khead…
24. 
    Sigma Octantis

    November 21, 2011 at 5:05 am | # | Reply

    Hmm, doesn’t look like alcohol to me. More like coke, you know, the stuff you put ice in to cool it down. Ice you get from the freezer… ohh, Mike, you magnificent bastard.
25. 
    Netrogo

    November 21, 2011 at 8:26 am | # | Reply

    My first thought was that Mike’s drink was some form of smoothie. Y’know various frozen goods blended. As in frozen things from the freezer blended.

    • 
      N0083rP00F

      November 21, 2011 at 9:34 am | # | Reply

      Ewwwww…… I will say it again … eeeewwwwwww…… I was never one for tartar anything, so …. eeewwwwww.
26. 
    Luke

    November 21, 2011 at 9:38 am | # | Reply

    BUT HE’S STILL SO TOTALLY PERFECT FOR AMBER AND NOT AN IRREDEEMABLE SHIT!!!!!!
27. 
    sarpiedon

    November 21, 2011 at 10:14 am | # | Reply

    Ahh Classic Mike…
28. 
    Midarc

    November 21, 2011 at 10:32 am | # | Reply

    For some reason I was expecting Mike to come back across the panel with snkrs floating in his drink.
    Lost a hamster, gained a novelty drink cooler.
29. 
    begbert2

    November 21, 2011 at 10:44 am | # | Reply

    Pregnancy and dying pets. This chapter doesn’t have much I can relate to.

    Ah well. I’m sure hijinks will resume soon enough. I can wait.
30. 
    palaeoemrus

    November 21, 2011 at 11:35 am | # | Reply

    Hamsters aren’t real pets unless you are a crazy person. They are about two steps up from tropical fish.
31. 
    Garth

    November 21, 2011 at 11:43 am | # | Reply

    The only thing that surprises me is that Robin is surprised. She knows Mike.

    Clearly, even panicky and grieving, Amber has the good sense not to turn to Mike for comfort.

    • 
      Paul1963

      November 21, 2011 at 1:17 pm | # | Reply

      Ah, Garth, you beat me to it. I was going to write, “Robin’s met Mike, right?”
32. 
    Roborat

    November 21, 2011 at 2:41 pm | # | Reply

    Soooo . . . Did Robin replace her boobs with a giant Toblerone bar? Because that chestal region looks pretty darn triangular.

    • 
      Doctor_Who

      November 21, 2011 at 2:54 pm | # | Reply

      How long do you think ROBIN could possibly keep a Toblerone bar in her possession without devouring it?
    • 
      John Harmon

      November 21, 2011 at 6:37 pm | # | Reply

      It’s a cartoon. Cartoon proportions.
33. 
    Doctor_Who

    November 21, 2011 at 2:55 pm | # | Reply

    I know the “Robin thinks dead Snkrs is food” thing was just a joke, but now that he’s actually in the freezer, I could easily imagine a humorous misunderstanding.
34. 
    timemonkey

    November 21, 2011 at 5:28 pm | # | Reply

    Okay, I’m going to be positive today. I like how Robin’s been in this story, especially today’s strip. She’s relatively calm, supportive and affectionate, hasn’t made anything about her and has registered fucked upness.

    Though somehow I don’t think putting the thing Robin’s already mistaken for food into the freezer, home of the food, is a good idea.
35. 
    John Harmon

    November 21, 2011 at 6:39 pm | # | Reply

    Do…do people actually put their dead pets in the freezer? Is this a common practice? Because I was expecting Robin to look at her funny at the very least when Amber mentioned that, but considering the way she reacted I’m left to assume that…people actually do this?

    • 
      David Willis

      November 21, 2011 at 6:57 pm | # | Reply

      Putting it in the freezer is how you keep dead meat fresh. Try it!

      • 
        John Harmon

        November 23, 2011 at 2:16 am | # | Reply

        Yes, but presumably this done with meat you intend on eating. Then again, I’ve never cremated a pet before. The backyard of my childhood home is a mini pet cemetery though. All of our pets were buried pretty much right away.

        Still, it seems kinda weird.
36. 
    Captain_Cadaver

    November 21, 2011 at 6:46 pm | # | Reply

    I like Amber’s squiggly mouth *www*

    • 
      John Harmon

      November 23, 2011 at 2:17 am | # | Reply

      It’s very Peanuts, isn’t it?
37. 
    Apprivoise

    November 21, 2011 at 7:29 pm | # | Reply

    Mike is eating a hamster smoothie, isn’t he.
38. 
    WearyExile

    November 21, 2011 at 10:47 pm | # | Reply

    She put it in the freezer…..Mike is going to be serving Honey Baked Hamster for Thanksgiving, isn’t he? D:
39. 
    Doom Shepherd

    November 21, 2011 at 11:57 pm | # | Reply

    Mike uses whatever brought him back to resurrect Snkrs. Snkrs Comes Back Wrong. Drama / hijinks ensue.
40. 
    Hal

    November 23, 2011 at 4:55 pm | # | Reply

    Gotta say, Robin has an excellent shirt.
41. 
    cwDeici

    December 9, 2011 at 6:05 pm | # | Reply

    People take small, dead animals to the vet?
    Wouldn’t a shoebox, some tissues and a short sermon in an area with dirt be more suitable?
    Well, I guess vets need to train post-mortem too.