“Happy” Black Friday! To “celebrate,” Shortpacked! Book 4 is now available in the store!
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
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Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
KILL HIM KILL HIM KILL HIM
DIE DIE DIE
I am very happy that I will be working on Black Friday. Why? Because it means I don’t have to go shopping on Black Friday with assorted relatives.
its a good day to work, i requested a shift at my work today for the same reason
I work at a truck stop. On the “diesel” side, not the “gas” side. Yes, diesel is available at several pumps out front, but there are two big differences. Many truckers manage to get Thanksgiving and the following weekend off and there are a metric fuckton of commuters (aka those little pests that truckers casually refer to as “four wheelers”) traveling the entire said weekend.
“Oh. hey! A truck stop! They have gas, a fast food restauraunt, and plenty of road snacks!” And a really fritzed out nineteen year old girl behind the counter who has to be reminded on a regular basis (via radio earpiece) that she is not permitted to beat the unruly children running amok (she actually asked if she was allowed to, more than once, citing reasons that I personally deem legitimate but that’s probably why I’m not a manager).
Meanwhile I stand just outside the door on the other side of the building smoking cigarettes with a couple of truckers while we share reasons why we don’t mind “working” the holiday in order to avoid our annoying families. Ninety-eight parking spaces for semis and about twelve were occuppied (half of those were local drivers picked up by family two days earlier).
Sure as hell beats that old job at the discount clothing store. Yes, I do know the true meaning of Black Friday and it’s one of the few things that makes me happy about my current job.
Someone, explain this joke to me, STAT!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0
Thanks for the link and CRIKEY MOSES that voice is annoying.
She’s better than courtney stodden, that girl makes the autotune commit suicide
Is it THAT hard to find someone who looks good and can actually sing these days?
If it’s a good animated musical, maybe.
Actually, she can sing.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZQ0Fsk468s
She’s not the best, sure, but auto-tune makes her sound much worse than she is.
That girl makes me cringe. I see her on the Soup all the time. She comes off as a sex crazed idiot. That laugh… *shudder*
I… wow. Just the, “Fun, fun, fun, fun,” sounded so hopeless. I don’t think the smile made it to her eyes until the song ended. Like witnessing a private hell, that was.
MY EARS! MY EARS!
Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!
There is no way those kids are old enough to drive a car, they must be at least 10 years younger than me…. oh god
I’d give you a link to the video, but my conscience tells me not to. Just go to Youtube and type in Rebecca Black; it’ll be the first thing you see.
It gets worse though. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH6d4Adm9U
Strangely enough as horrible as the original song is I stumbled across a bluegrass cover of it and somehow it actually works.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v49Q6NSOKJQ
This the bluegrass cover? i agree its actually good.
Isn’t that the strangest thing? And I’m picky about my bluegrass. Dumb lyrics irritate me as much over banjo and fiddle as in any other arrangement. But this song, awful as it is, somehow works that way.
those guys are fantastic. could have been a better song, but they make it work for them
I have seen worse ads.
“Downtown” has always been such a source of comfort to me that I must thank you for sharing even that ad. I know that doesn’t make much sense, but it’s a lifelong association thing.
You’re welcome?
Oh, it’s fine. I’m too busy whistling it to myself today to need another link prompt.
oh my god was that a horrible commercial! normally I like it when a gal goes ..down down. but this is horrible !
God dammit Australia!
Eew, a dirty pun KILL IT WITH VIOLENCE
Audience: BOOOOOOOOO!
Run, you stupid bastard! Run!
It’s Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday.
And now you have that song stuck in your head. You’re welcome.
HAH, shows what you know. I’m listening to Rage Against The Machine.
*insert reply stating RATM is as bad as/worse than Rebecca Black*
*reply stating RATM is as bad as/worse than Rebecca Black*
Totally called it.
Yesterday was Tuesday
Maybe Thursday you can sleep!
But school starts much too early
And this hotel wasn’t free
So party ’til your connection comes
Honey, I’ll return the…
…wait, wait, wrong song. Never mind.
It’s Friday, I’m in love.
That is one blessing with this song. To get stuck in your head the chorus has to be somewhat catchy, but this song lacks even that. It is terrible in ALL aspects.
Nope. Never heard it, so it can’t get stuck in my head.
Nope, “Downtown”, thanks to the Plasma Mongoose.
It’s no use.
The Skyrim theme. Nothing will remove it. My entire life has become an overdose of epic deeds.
See? There’s two things I didn’t want to know:
1. Who everyone was talking about if the all spoke of her in horror.
2. The identity of the writer of that Kohl’s jingle because that’s just one less thing stopping me.
OW, Ken, OW.
You broke any respect I could still give you with that lame pun.
Many people (myself included) have blurted out the odd iffy pun or two, don’t be too hard on the fella.
Too true. I’ve actually made this pun before. Ken’s not alone there.
Who’s Ken? You mean Fei Long?
Oh come on… it’s not that bad of a pun. I now think he’s more likely a citizen of Xanth, though, instead of whichever country Dhalsim’s ancestors came from.
To use a pun like that, I think even a citizen of Xanth would have to have stumbled straight through a comic strip and emerged with the need to share his pain.
Any injuries Ken is about to sustain are entirely justifiable.
This shall be the one time where her actions will be lauded by all readers.
If he was with anyone else I’d agree, but he’s with Malaya. Nuff said.
How HAS Ken failed to win her heart? He’s like a poet.
…and he didn’t even know it!
Best comment.
…and on the rhyming scheme went!
Ken, this crazy-ass bitch stabbed a frigging car. Do NOT press your luck.
You would think that they could call it a better name than Black Friday, it sounds ominous like they burned a lot of hippies on that day or something..
Anybody who has ever worked retail will tell you the name is all too fitting.
AH! That explains it then.
Well, it was originally called Black Friday to purposefully sound ominous…however, sometime in the late 1980′s, some corporations decided that just sounded really bad for business, so they publicly stated that Black Friday was named so, because back in the old accounting days, whenever you lose money, those numbers were marked with red ink, and when you made a profit, those numbers were marked in black ink.
Hence the name Black Friday. It’s supposed to help companies get “back in the black” even though several companies still lose money on that day. The name is actually nonsensical, but they tried to make it work.
It’s not really nonsensical. Disastrous days are often called “Black.” Black Monday and Black Tuesday refer to the Stock Market crash of 1929.
Oh hay, lookit, Wiki articles!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Monday
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Tuesday_%28disambiguation%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Wednesday
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Thursday
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Black_Fridays
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_Saturday_%28disambiguation%29
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Black_Sundays
That is in fact the exact reason it’s called Black Friday. It was coined by policemen of the earlier times, because of the massive traffic, and by retail workers, who…you know the rest. According to cracked, anyway.
Hippies don’t burn well; they’re too green.
Still, you can get a nice buzz from the smoke.
You know, it would be ironic if she did a Mortal Kombat fatality on Ken.
Robin would be confused.
For once, Malaya’s default reaction to a fellow human being is entirely justified. Broken clock, twice a day, etc. etc.
I’m even more impressed by the first panel. If you’d never read a Shortpacked strip and just knew her reputation, you’d probably be going “What’s everyone complaining about?”
She’s about to pun-ish him.
WAH WAH WAAAAAAAAH!
A punderstorm’s a-brewin’.
Punrise, punset!
It’s a pundemic! And the only cure is punicillan.
Punbelievable!
This comic (and the comments) reminds me of when I set off a chain of ‘boob’ puns over at Dumbing Of Age.
It was the breast day ever.
That sounds like loads of fun-bags.
Puns! God, I love puns! I love puns so much I once checked out a list of the top ten puns of all time to see if any of them could make me laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.
Sorry Lone Wolf, but I have to kill you now. The pun-ninjas have been notified.
Ahh, I have lots of fond mammaries of that day.
@Lone Wolf, since I can’t reply to your post, you would love Philadelphia. Our WPVI-TV (6abc) has a news anchor, Rick Williams, who absolutely LOVES to tell bad puns. When talking about cats, he says, “And we’re not kitten!”. His all-time worst is when he told a story about a flying fish video, where the fish was out of the water for 45 seconds. He then asked if it was an “o-fish-ial record!” See it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57qQAOIjFLw
this requires a DAMN YOU WILLIS the likes of the universe has never seen.
I officially ship them.
Where to?
Malaya’s bedroom.
OH MY!
So does Ken.
Malaya doesn’t thou.
The Target stores here have commercials for Black Friday that since a variance of the song.
I believe it’s Kohl’s, actually.
I believe you’re right.
It’s Kohl’s. Even more annoying than the original: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57qQAOIjFLw
I don’t know what the hell you people are talking about, that was an AWESOME joke!
I have never, ever understood why people hate puns so much. They are my favourite form of humour of all time.
I swear by them and may God pun-ish me if they are wrong.
Words and grammar are as religion, nay even nationalism or the social good, to some. To them, a pun is word violation.
Others dislike the possibility that a particularly skilled paronomasiac might serve a pun right over their head without notice, as though the latter were personal affronts to their intelligence and perception.
Most, however, have simply learned to dread puns because of how often it’s done lazily, often by people who keep playing one line off another with little more skill than is required to quote Monty Python lines back and forth. An overreaction, to be sure, so long as it’s not disruptive to any business at hand.
Oh, dear. I have explained the joke.
Indeed. Your agonizer, please.
Oh, Blanka, you should know better.
FINISH HIM!
MATE IN FOUR!
Please clarify, are you making a chess reference or ordering them to engage in coitus in aisle four?
I’m hoping for the latter.
I didn’t get it until I read the comments. The name of that person doesn’t stick to my brain any more than the song does. The joke hardly seems worth getting angry about, in any case, but I suppose Malaya is just looking to be angry most of the time anyway.
As someone who has to work retail later today, I don’t find this humorous at all.
Let’s get back to the funny stuff next week, Willis.
You know, like dead hamsters.
Malaya just lost The Game.
And so did you.
http://xkcd.com/391/
Honestly, while I found Black Friday annoying as sin when working retail, IMO, the absolute worst day will always be Dec. 24. Why? Black Friday at least keeps you busy, and is sort of exhilirating in a psychotic selling frenzy way. Christmas Eve is hours of dead time that drags forever punctuated by an occassional insane person yammering faster than an auction caller at you to help them pick out a present for someone they forgot because they’re having a panic attack bordering on being a seizure.
Meh, I worked at a dollar store so Christmas Eve was actually busier than Black Friday since people were doing last second purchasing
This would be a better joke if not for the Kohls ads I’ve seen playing a Parody of Rebecca Black to promote Black Friday.
I hate them all.
I made this same joke today – got that same reaction.
Clearly they haven’t seen THIS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH6d4Adm9U&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I was going to say, yeah. I was subjected to this a lot yesterday o.o
Thank you for perfectly capturing the play between my sister and me throughout the whole of Thanksgiving Day.
What’s Turkey Day without terrible puns?
Oh Ken you are so great.
Please hurt him, Malaya. That fucking Kohl’s commercial has been haunting me all week.
Isn’t Rebecca Black, like 13 years old? In which case, she should have waited a couple years to go public…get time to improve. The net is a two edged sword..lets you discover great talent or ….
As for puns…love puns. I’ve read that they are the lowest form of humor, but then I love shaggy dog stories, so I guess I’m consistant.
Keep smiling Ken, just keep smiling and when he blink… makes your escape! D:
I hate him….im working and he enjoying it….
Can’t resist the joke, can’t you?
Slap him, Malaya!
As much as I don’t like Malaya, I would like to see her give a dope slap to Cracker Jack for that pun.
**OBSCURE CHARACTER SCORE MULTIPLIER!!!**
I get the feeling that E. Honda is about to get a long & very much deserved beating…hopefully with a rake.
*groan*
… Bison did not just make that joke…
*Throws Ken/Ethan out again*
I love this joke! ^_^
Until now, I never realized that Malaya has a rhinoceros horn for a nose.
Thanks for reminding me of where I have to go in twenty minutes TT.TT Imma die! Last year I had four old ladies shaking a ladder with me on it for some barbie doll… This year everybody’s even more competitive…
I think he was waiting behind those boxes to tell that joke to someone, and Malaya was the unlucky victim.
So if Rebecca Black exists in the Willisverse, does that mean Willis can kill her off?
I was kind of hoping to see Walky making the same joke to his sister on Dumbing of Age. That would have been epic.
Isn’t it still the first Saturday of the school year over there?
This is the definitive version of Friday. It actually makes it… kind of awesome? In a Weird Al-ish way?
Yes.
Aw, Malaya come on that was funny you have no sense of humor girl. There, There Chun-Li I found it funny.
I’m surprised you didn’t link the Kohl’s Black Friday cover ad! Someone might have linked it in the comments above, but I can’t load up videos just right now to check.
KILL HIM!!! KILL HIM WITH FIRE!!!
I laughed out loud at Ken’s comment. I did.
And I just got back from my 8-hour shift at my local mall. I must be insane.
We were in the Lego store at Tyson’s Corner, and one of the guys there said he’d been working for 11.5 hours… <=p
TERRIBLE MEMORIES RESURFACING OF THE BBC INEXPLICABLY HAVING USED A BOYBAND’S COVER OF THIS SONG FOR ONE OF THEIR PROGRAMME TRAILERS
I’m with Malaya on this one. Death to those who bring this crap back to life.
(Mind you, there has been much, much more awful music coming out of the radio down the years, so always remember “it could be worse”)
Well, now I like him.
I love his face in the last panel
I would prefer Rebecca Black Friday, at least then you would have a place to sit down.
I scared my mother awake from laughing so hard
If someone made that pun to me, I’d have to punch them.
You know to some point that isn’t a bad idea. You give all the employees earplugs and when the doors open everyone puts them in. Then you play Rebecca Black’s friday. People will go faster and get what they need. And if lucky no riots will start. It would get the day over a little bit faster. :3 Although it may cause some people to face brain damage if they stay in the store too long.
Ken… you are my homey.