Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
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gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
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merch
mike
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ultra car
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I think knife fights are against company policy.
No, it’s right there under Interpersonnel Dispute Arbitration. Galasso thought of everything.
She totally should have used hamsters armed with cannons instead.
Where did she get the broadsword?
Under the counter at Coffee Of Doom.
You mean the knife?
you sure it’s a knife? which one would be funnier?
Let’s see. She’s holding on for dear life to Spider-car’s eviler counterpart, who is flying through the store. With one hand.
Still, I’m guessing it’s a knife. 1d3 damage . . . well. Guess those tires don’t have many hitpoints . . .
Yeah but in a situation like that there has to be some terribly negative modifiers to the attack dice.
Plus Tires take triple damage from piercing attacks.
My steadfast alleigiance to D20/3.5 means that I always see a knife/dagger doing 1d4. There’s also that triple piercing damage to tires and, let’s face it, Malaya is obviously a rogue or some offshoot class and likely has some way to manage a flat footed situation even while in melee. Like a pie to the face to cause a flat tire. That’s probably circular logic, but that certainly looks like a flat tire in panel three. At the very least she scored a lucky crit.
Ninja Rick. She killed him. =D
This even has Snkrs taking notice. Impressive.
lawl I totally didn’t catch that the first time! :3
Others have now continued the swath of in-store destruction that he began. He can now die in peace.
This forum needs a “like” button.
For some reason, that’s my favorite part of the whole thing.
Mine too!
The idea of Malaya going at a car with a knife literally made me laugh out loud.
am i the only one who heard the kill bill sound track in their heads in panel 3? is it just a reaction to the awesomeness or am i stroking out here?
No, you are not the only one. I was thinking the exact same thing, but I couldn’t remember where it was from.
She’s finally showing her good side.
Two shall enter, one shall leave.
One shall stand, one shall fall.
My money’s on Ultra Car.
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!
Hereeee we areeee, born to be kinngggsssss! We’re the princes of the uuniiivveerrsssseeee!
WHY IS TODAY HIGHLANDER DAY
Wait, there are days that aren’t Highlander Day?
YAY for wholesome violence.
It’s Man vs Machine. Who will walk out the victor?
who’s victor? is it hot wheels guy?
Malaya’s holding her own, from the look of it. I don’t know what the odds are of a human defeating a sentient car in hand-to-hand combat, but some kudos may be warranted.
Wonder where she was keeping that knife.
If she takes out his spark-plugs, I don’t think it’ll be much of a fight then.
I know the balloon pointers are clear, but I’m still amused by the notion that Snkrs is actually doing all the talking for Amber.
And yeah, the knife was a great touch. At least Malaya’s got a bite to back up that bark.
Ancestral Hamster to Snkrs, “Your cover is blown. T Campbell knows too much. Extreme sanction authorized.”
Wait, did I just send that in the clear? F%$@
Quite frankly, I’m impressed that Malaya is holding her own.
She needs to stick it in his underbelly for maximun penetration.
Dirty.
Theirs is a battle that could fill up four manga volumes!
Maybe longer, with the power ups, secret technique revelations, and flashback episodes that explain how each combatant learned said secret technique.
And just because: “It’s over 9000!”
Over 9000?
Sheesh, when will people learn to not buy their scouters from Saiyan manufacturers?
Can’t go over 9000, then buy a new one that can already …. Sheeeeesh
Lol, there can be only one.
But will it be like Highlander or Highlander 2?
Sorry, Highlander or what? Your sentence just sort of cut off there.
Highlander 2.
(But will it be like Highlander or Highlander 2?)
Your reply isn’t properly loading.
MAKE SENSE WOMAN (BASED ON PICTURE CAUSE I HAVE NO ACTUAL IDEA WHO YOU ARE)!
I don’t know what problem you guys are having. She obviously said .
Huh…that’s weird.
IMMORTALS ARE FROM PLANET ZEIST
There is no such thing as Zeist. There is no such thing as Zeist.
Actually, Zeist is a city in the Netherlands.
And you’re not fully clean unless you’re Zeistfully clean.
guys you gotta know what film she means. Its one of those classic scifi films like matrix and its two seq——. huh blacked out
What sequels? We ARE talking about the Matrix, right? I heard some fans made a really horrible set of follow-up movies, though. I’m sure they had their moments. I heard they even had high production values. Can’t recall the titles, though… C’est la vie!
Must resist cheap shot…
Still firmly entrenched in the position that the first sequel was better than 3, 4 and the TV series (at least it tried to be somewhat different). But that just means they should’ve stopped after the first movie.
why is she useing a knife on a sentiant car? she is not a clever girl
When all you have is a knife, you use a knife.
Just wait until later.
“She’s back. Fighting the car. Again.”
C’mon man, all she needs to do is wedge that knife into the hood, pry it open, and stab indiscriminately until she hits something important, preferably Ultra Car’s CPU! All while defending herself from attacks from a sentient car that can fly and phase through objects like Shadowcat! It’s child’s play, really.
He can’t phase through solid objects anymore.
Quick Amber, Sneak away and change into Spider-Car!
Malaya’s going to get arrested for vehicular homicide if she keeps that up.
Not robotocide?
If it was Spider-car then it would be …(takes off sunglasses) ….. Insecticide …. *Bwaaaawww*
But spiders aren’t insects, they’re arachnids.
Get ‘er, Ultracar! <3 Stick it to her!
They should really both be fired. Really now.
Actually, most of them should have been fired ages ago too. o_O
It depends. If this is played for laughs, then there’s no readon for anybody to be fired. But if it’s meant to lead into something serious…
…Ultra Car could be fired. Malaya would shank Amber with that knife if she tried, though. Right?
And then Malaya would end up in the klink for double manslaughter.
And that’s working under the premise that Mike doesn’t do her in, instead.
He’s already lost Dina.. Make him lose both Amber and Junior?
Tremble World… Tremble..
I don’t think either of them like the job enough to kill over it, though if one did, it would be UC. Malaya doesn’t seem like a murder
if their jobs are on the line, all they have to do is tell galasso that they’re fighting over who gets to sire him an heir.
Her and Ultra Car???
…okay, Galasso’d probably buy it.
His apocalypse approaches! The doomed time is on hand! Be warned. hahahahahaha
Malaya…you-you really don’t wanna be putting your hand in there. Things could go very badly once you hit the ground.
This made me laugh out loud. Made for each other- Malaya and Ultra Car.
Ok that’s it. I officially <3 Malaya more than I already did. I loves me a feisty biatch with a huge knife.
Yeah my respect for her just rose a good bit. Fighting a sentient car robot (albiet a non-transformer) with a bowie knife is pretty badass in itself; even more so when I wondered why the hell she brought a bowie knife to her job in a toy store.
Then again, the knife could actually be Ultra-Car’s. He might’ve pulled it on her and she wrested it away. Which would still be cool.
“I wondered why the hell she brought a bowie knife to her job in a toy store.”
Clearly you’ve never worked in retail.
Clearly, the question is why she hasn’t brought anything BIGGER.
Team Malaya here. You shank that car, you precocious little bitch!
Team Ultra Car here. Shank that precocious little bitch, you pie flinging asshole.
team snkrs here. kill them both and sustain your new lifeforce you lovecraftian hamster god.
go hot wheels guy!
So, is Fuckface still alive at this point?
Fuckface wasn’t with Malaya at that point – he’s manning the register.
Damn! :O Who would’ve thought Malaya could hold her own against a CAR!?
Alright, I’m starting to like Malaya now.
Funny that Hot Wheels guy gets mentioned again ony after five years. I almost thought she was talking about Ultra Car, but then I checked the archives and it doesn’t seem to be the case. Huh.
Remember Malaya: Counterbalance the knife, quickslash, then retract. Watch out for the massive claws, they could rip a tank apart!
CAR BATTLE!
Never bring a pie to a knifefight?
Alternately, this sh*t just got real.
The dark shadowy place? Never go there Simba…
I’m calling it first. Malaya x Robocar.
Gonna call it Malacar. Or Roboya.
One of those works.
You know what they say about relationships where the people fight all the time….
Have ten lines together? Ship the hell out of them!
Have a random fight? Ship the hell out of them!
Both? SHIP THE HELL OUT OF THEM!!!!!!!!!!
…One outcome is possible.
They end up having hatesex.
The most epic of hate-F@#%’$!!!!!
You know, if this was played even a little bit seriously, that knife would be a serious cause for concern. But then, Ninja Rick walks around with a katana all day, so…
This is Galasso’s store, remember. Everyone may be required to carry a weapon.
Wonder if this strip was a swipe at the Hot Wheels collector. Hot Wheels collectors are considered the lowest form of life in the toy collecting food chain.
Hot Wheels Guy has actually been mentioned a few times before, but he’s never been shown on-panel. It’s a running gag.
can’t hear talk of “hot wheels guy” without flashbacks to this news story http://rumorsontheinternets.org/2009/02/10/yes-virginia-there-is-a-hot-wheels-fetish/
Now that is simply awesome.
I still wonder who “Hot Wheels Guy” is…
I think he used to shop at my store, before I moved to Toys. He would bring in a clipboard with a list of the cars he was missing. If the guy who stocked the toys showed up late (which was most of the time), this guy would pull all the Hot Wheels cases off the pallets, put them in a basket, then stock the Hot Wheels while checking them against his list.
Come see the violence inherent in the retail system!
Forget the tire stuff — try stabbing some holes in the oil pan.
Cut his breaks you bitch! <3
What’s with all the pre-holiday violence? Don’t encourage him. It’s bad enough mermaids are losing eyes over in Modest Medusa land.