Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Whatever gets you through the day, Faz…
With a smile!
What can one say about Faz…without being arrested?
I doubt anyone would arrest you for saying bad things about Faz.
what If he wants to say *shudder* Good things about Faz.
Then you should be afraid, BE VERY AFRAID!
Too late, we can already see your avatar…
*cowers*
Examples?
“Die Faz, Die!”
“We hate you Faz.”
and of course-
“If you don’t leave in five seconds I will before forced to blow your head off Faz, and by forced I mean I shall enjoy it greatly and do it quite willingly – of which I will sign a statement so there is no mistaking that this was purely premeditated, but totally not a crime!”
A bit wordy, but to the point – although everything is best summed up with a simple
“DIE!”
“If you don’t leave in five seconds I will before forced to blow your head off Faz, and by forced I mean I shall enjoy it greatly and do it quite willingly – of which I will sign a statement so there is no mistaking that this was purely premeditated, but totally not a crime!”
One problem.
You didn’t specify what head.
You left him an opening.
And since, in his mind, you’re a lady…
[gets out the brainbleach]
“This is all I have!”
In my mind, all pointless internet arguments are motivated by this.
it’s not just in your mind…
+1 internets
So… we’re getting a Death’s Head soon, yes?
I like how Death’s Head is tagged, yet this is the only strip about it.
There is a first time for everthing you know.
I think Death’s Head is one of those characters that are almost exclusively associated with Transformers, but still owned by Marvel. There’s probably be some rights issues to untangle before making a toy out of him.
Although given that Hasbro produces pretty much all of Marvel’s toys these days (I think; I don’t really keep up on non-transforming toylines) it may be possible.
From what I understand, Marvel owns it outright thanks to some quick thinking on Simon Furman back in… whenever. The strip High Noon Tex appeared months before his appearance in Transformers, excluding him from their blanket copyright clause. Didn’t stop Marvel from releasing trades of his books in 07 (which took me years to track down).
Just because Marvel owns a property doesn’t mean they will actually ever use it. Circuit Breaker hasn’t been seen since the end of Marvel’s Transformers.
Actually, Marvel DID recently utilize Death’s Head, in the recent S.W.O.R.D. mini series written by the talented Kieron Gillen.
Mindwipe beat me to it, but they did use him, and reverted him to his Transformers size. Dunno how they explain it, probably NOT the DH we know and love and grew up on, but a respectable one at that.
Plus, the early 90s gave use DH 2, and not too long ago Furman wrote a DH 3 storyline. So there are chances for the character to show up again in future stories.
It’s explained, I believe, by way of Death’s Head being a dimension/time-traveler guy. Even if he’s dead, that doesn’t mean some past iteration of him can’t show up from whenever during his lifespan.
There is actually a nontransformer Death’s Head character in Marvel continuity as well from the mid 90′s, don’t know if that matters.
Death’s Head II is the same Death’s Head…after a fashion. His personality was changed because of having merged with various other entities, but the core was still the original Death’s Head.
There was also a ‘Death’s Head 3.0′ series a few years back that was meant to serve as an origin for the original Death’s Head.
Both Death’s Head and Death’s Head II had ongoing series, completely unconnected to Transformers. He’s also appeared in Doctor Who stories, and 616 material.
Man, I thought you’d have been all up on the trailer to that new Transformers game that’s coming out.
I’m in Austin this weekend for Webcomic Rampage. Man, my powers are great, but not that great.
I assume this is a reference to Shadow2879 from TFW? :p
I thought it was about TCracker at TFW.
Faz’s dialogue reads a lot like Shadow’s though.
Shadow was hilarious. I wish I got in on that sooner before he got banned. I am currently a short term temp at hasbro and based on the NDAs I had to sign, he would have been crazy sued had he actually worked there. The internet is a hilarious place.
I liked how he claimed he wasn’t allowed to give away product code numbers (the ones printed on the toys’ packaging), because those were supposedly more of a trade secret than the content of the packaging.
Well, Faz, at least one of them does like cock. You’re partway there, hang on to the dream!
Oh god… the mental image! The mental image! *Blam*
Try not to think about the gay sex or their cocks.
I note that “the gay sex” is being used as an actor noun here. Perhaps you mean to propose the existence of a third sex? Male, female, and gay?
It is pretty hard for two men to have the straight sex wioth each other.
Also you forgot intersexed as a gender.
Honestly, any dichotomous definitions of gender are obsolete; also trichotomous. Gender and sexuality are too fluid of concepts to even bother going around and putting definitions on them.
Read Foucault, bro.
The problem is, society still only recognizes two distinct genders, and anything else is shoehorned into one of them. When the government (local, state/provincial, or national) stops trying to pigeonhole children into a gender at birth (before the child even has a chance to decide its own gender identity), maybe society will follow suit.
Don’t hold your breath waiting for it to happen, though.
It’s not even a matter of waiting for a decision. Leave people well enough alone. If they want to pigeonhole themselves, alright; if they don’t want to, then leave it. If more people just left their kids intersexed (at the huge numbers they are born), then within a generation or two you’d see tolerance skyrocket. People are just afraid of what they don’t understand.
True. If everyone (or at least the majority of the population) was intersexed, things like sexual orientation and gender identity would be a non-issue. Unfortunately, since there would still be things that make groups of us different from other groups, there would still be plenty for people to be ignorant and hateful about.
Still, even with the majority of the population only having one set of genitalia or the other, the state needs to stop making it an “either/or” situation. Each person should have the freedom to decide for themselves where they fall within the gender/orientation spectrum, instead of having it decided for them at birth, based on what’s between their legs.
Wow… This has really derailed from Faz giving out made-up TransFormers toy information… O_o
It’s a lot more people than you think, according to some research by Fausto-Sterling, one or two in one thousand births are going to receive “normalizing” surgery for genital appearance.
I just thought that was an interesting stat.
Also:
Tell him how his dad got to third base with you!
I’m still lovin’ the Michelle J Caboose thing:
Another RVB line with a feminine voice: “Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free!” “SHE just called your girlfriend a cow.”
“No, I think she called her a slut!”
LOL
Hell, I’m trying to insert myself into the gay sex imagery
With ‘insert’ being the key word there.
http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/6103/fazinsert.png
I’m so sorry. I had to do it…
Actually no you didn’t, but I’m glad you did.
[passes around the brainbleach]
Aaand, by this time tomorrow there will be a rule 34 image about this.
I’d love a Death’s Head, yes?
Without question.
The keyword being head.
Faz’s willing pawn is kinda cute.
Also, I really need to start thinking of things to comment on besides which charecters I want to Joe (with my penis)
*Insightful Comment*
If you want to make an insightful post, you have several options open to you.
You could explain the sociological context of the strip. Analyse the various characters and what archetypes they represent – for example, in this strip, Faz represents the worst aspects of Generation Y, desperately craving attention but refusing to actually work for it. Other Dude represents pretty much the same thing, but applied to material possessions and with more of a focus on his laziness and impatience.
Or you could do the reverse – look at it from a character perspective. Faz’s actions are pretty typical of his desire for positive attention, but Ethan is more interesting. He’s at the stage where he’s worried that he’s wasting his life. His friends are getting married and having kids and being successful. Right now, he’s trying to get this guy to see that he’s wasting his time on a trivial pursuit that is ultimately meaningless. From this, we can extrapolate that Ethan is about to attempt another serious change in his life (my guess – he’s going to try to go on tour. He failed at relationships, at least for a little while, so I can see him investing in his career).
Finally, you could do what I like to do and write up a long thing of bullshit and end on a silly pun. But that’s more of an inciteful post.
But you already took all the options!
Gotta say though, pretty good analysis of Ethan.
Oh Faz.
Faz Faz Faz.
Shhhh! He’ll HEAR you!!
D:
“The veracity of my information may change. Please do not flame me.” I’m stealing that one Willis. You’ll never get any credit from me when I use it.
So… Faz is channeling a certain site now is he?
Well… someone is clued into the Shadow saga…
Not really surprised, though.
Wait a second, Death’s Head? I don’t think he’s popular enough to even have a toy.
Oh, my dream for a DH figure is still but a dream.
For now…
I’m still freaked out by the fact that Faz showed up three comics in a row.
I did not miss him.
Faz wasn’t in Friday’s comic.
Roz was, but Faz wasn’t.
Unless…Faz is Roz. In Drag.
They are both rather short. Same hair color. Obnoxious.
That would mean that Faz is both Amber and Robin’s sibling. So Robin has a crush on her sister?
Mind is blown!
I think you meant that Roz is Faz in drag, but I have to admit the way you said it is funnier.
For all those who still miss Faz …. Practice more and improve your aim or use a Phalanx CIWS already.
Ah, damnit. Faz’s imaginary voice acting just switched from Antonio Banderas to The Most Interesting Man In The World.
I dunno… This strip just seems to strengthen me hearing him as Fez from “That 70′s Show.”
http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/8425/fazgreatestman1.png
XX-rated beer. That’s what Faz would get! (There not being any XXX- or XIV-rated beers!)
You should totally check this out Walky. Death’s Head (the original, the one who fought against the Doctor and the Transformers, not II or that failure that’s called 3.0) appears in Strider’s ending in Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3. No kidding. And he is pretty visible.
Well, he was just reintroduced to the Marvel universe not that long ago…
Does this mean there are 4,760 OTHER Fazs? Eep.
No, they are ALL the same Faz.
He most likely either cross posts to himself or just keeps forgetting his passwords.
Nah – must have his own Board with deep discussions on all things Faz.
Panel 1 looks like dude has a Lazer eye. Laaaaazerrrrrrr
I loved everything that came out about Death’s Head. I’d definitely buy a toy if it came out as well! I’d even listen to Faz talk if it meant I got a Death’s Head figure. Marketable, yes?
Wow, I’ve been in this conversation, in Ethan’s place. It was a TV show where someone was claiming to work on the show and spitting out a bunch of garbage predictions. It amazed me how badly people wanted to believe that the guy was the real deal.
there were another 4760 ‘thegreatfaz’es out there already?
… maybe he gets banned a lot.
Nearly FIVE THOUSAND Fazes (Fazi?)!!!!!! My every twisted faztasy has come true!
I just posted to say that Faz is one of the most fun characters I have ever seen/experienced in a comic. He always has me in stitches.
Weeeeeeell played, Willis. Now if you could work in how faz/shadow got that moderator to vouch for him, this could really become a work of snarky genius.
BTW, good seeing you in Austin yesterday. I was the one with the green Godzilla shirt (a Randy Milholland design) and the stunning tall blonde fiancee.
OK, totally off topic. Willis thanks for sharing your imagination with us, it’s awesome that your comics give me a smile pretty much every day.
Avatar = win too
I’m not sure why Ethan even cares unless Faz’s misinformation is being used to update Wikipedia entries.
Ethan is a very emotional fellow, and it’s definitely in his character to care.
He reads transformers forums does he not? If Faz is leaking false information he’ll be stuck watching people talk about it for moths.
I had no idea Moths were so interested in transformers!
hey, that may not be so obvious you know. Last year Hasbro made Drift after all.
Yeah, but Death’s Head is owned by Marvel. In a very unambiguous sense.
There are so many things wrong with those two sentences. One of which is the fact that Hasbro makes Marvel toys, including the Transformers: Crossovers line.
Yes, but Marvel would have to agree to Hasbro making the toy. And that’s after there’s enough expressed interest from one or both parties to even have a toy of Death’s Head.
Not to mention, the Marvel Crossovers are pretty much discontinued.
To get a new Marvel Crossover toy made of you these days, you pretty much have to be Iron Man.
I wasn’t talking about making Death’s Head, I was talking about the Hasbro will make popular characters, not unpopular ones line
What line claims that?
“I heard from my awesome inside sources…”
lolwut?
This reminds me of the Mattel DC collector wars. Thank god they ended that stupid line. A couple hundred morons don’t speak for millions.
Isn’t there someone with an actual username and avatar of Faz?
Welcome fellow visitors from the timeline where Faz was right!
I can only assume from this remarkably prophetic comic strip that David Willis has awesome inside sources.
Wait, who is Faz talking to in the last panel? Is it … the audience? Is Faz breaking the fourth wall? Because that’s all that keeps him away from me! NOOooooooo…….
Having observed people over the past few decades, I have found most people prefer a lie—almost any lie—to the truth. I have been unable to determine the reason for this, as I cannot see any good use served by believing lies; thus I have a definite blind-spot about the topic.
I used to hate Faz but now I just feel sad for him! He’s so clearly delusional and alone, and if he were real would probably have some severe Aspergers syndrome( I know, I have it and can recognize the signs). For fucks sake Shortpacked staff, GET HIM SOME FUCKING THERAPY! HE IS CLEARLY NOT WELL!