Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
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botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
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jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Well, that isn’t a kick in the balls.
With a broken toe, no less! [LIES]
That just makes her angrier!
And more immune to criticism!
I can think of few things more painful than having your crush disbelieve you when you finally get the nerve to confess.
One of them is hearing her call it “hilarious”, I’m sure.
True, but it’s a good reality check.
Is it even worse if she actually does believe him, but just does not care that much that he has a crush on her?
You can say that Amber is too nice to so casually dismiss Jacob’s declaration like that, but keep in mind, she is going to marry Mike. On matters non-Pony and non-geeky, she is scarily similar to Mike, minus the drive to inflict her misanthropy on others.
Imagine what Mike would advise Amber to do if Jacob confessed his love to her. Okay, that is a loaded question as Jacob is already on “the list.” But still, I do think its plausible that Amber is taking a tough love approach here to get Jacob back on his feet.
Honestly, I just don’t want her to get what she wants. For me the manipulation that led to their relationship is an unforgivable sin, no matter who was the recipient.
I find it hard to relate to that viewpoint, Jimmy. The reason I do is that I always wanted Mike to find a girlfriend, even if he is a complete ass. I don’t know why I want Mike to be happy, it’s definitely weird. And past experience has shown that the only times he responds with real emotion to anyone are when they ‘pull a Mike’ on him. Treachery towards him is the only way any girl could garner enough of Mike’s respect for him to actually love her. So maybe we came to realize that Amber is girl-Mike. I’m OK with that, too. It just ends up meaning that the two were meant to be.
Let’s all calm down, and remember that Mike had sex with Amber when she was drunk enough that she had memory blackout. If you wanna condemm Amber you have to condemn Mike too.
Frankly you can do this for most of the characters. Funny how people only seem to care about Amber….
So I guess we can write the whole cast off as horrible people or remember that this is a comic- set in a universe with an inherently unrealistic tone and trying to follow through with all the real world implications is stupid.
Stop confusing people by using logic and reason!
Well sure you can condemn Mike. But he spent most of his career as a joke character. Even now he’s barely fleshed out as a person. Amber’s actually got some character development going for her, and it’s not really in an especially positive direction these days.
If it makes you feel better, I feel pretty much the same way about Roz for taking advantage of Jacob’s emotional problems and Robin for being completely and recklessly careless with Leslie’s feelings. But then, I never liked them much to begin with, so it wasn’t a huge slide down to that position.
“Imagine what Mike would advise Amber to do if Jacob confessed his love to her.”
I do believe you mean to ask, “Imagine what Mike’s going to do to Jacob once Amber jokingly mentions this incident in passing.” Mike and Amber have moved on past the manipulations and genuinely feel for each other at this point. Mike has even used the word “love” genuinely. As much as he makes talk of banging moms, I don’t think he’s open to sharing his woman.
Speaking of banging moms…
I found them saying no painful. But then I’ve grown up a bit since then. Most recently I’ve had ‘We can do something sometime’ (A lie) and ‘I’m not interested’ which was true, and actually she wasn’t interested in relationships in general. But I kind of screwed myself up ove4r that one.
I need better taste in women.
ehh
Seconded.
She still doesn’t see herself as all that attractive for some reason.
Maybe she is happy with Mike, so by dismissing his feelings she can stay centered on Mike and none one else?
I don’t think she’s dismissing his feelings here. I think it’s more “that’s nowhere near a good enough reason not to come back to the store. Your attempt to use that as an excuse is hilarious, you need a better reason.”
I see her as attractive.
I think most of us does to some extent.
I know she’s not supposed to be a knockout, but yeah, I think Amber comes off as reasonably attractive in the strip.
Because she’s A instead of B? Let’s be honest, there tend to be too types- those who think they are a Greek God/dess or people who think (for whatever reason) that mirrors shatter when they get within 50 feet of them. (There is a third, eh, I’m okay group, but they tend to be closer to Bs than As)
Amber is definitely a B, (Robin, an A and all that)- just being in a relationship isn’t going to make Amber go “wow, I’m the SHIT”. She’s still (going to be) insecure about things, including her looks. Ergo, she likely sees “OMG HOTTIE Jacob” as obviously teasing her, because he’s a Greek God, and she makes mirrors shatter.
Pretty linear way of looking at it.
Unfortunately, there is some truth to it, even if it was put a little harsh.
Ironic, given that half the store crushes/crushed on Amber, while Robin, not so much.
Thank Mr. Willis, good to know that this is finally going somewhere.
I think I felt that through the screen. Poor guy.
This is great.
When you smell like dead pizza and your place sounds like Cinemax, you have nothing to lose.
This post wins!
What does Cinemax smell like? Stale popcorn maybe?
Cinemax smells almost just like it tastes.
Dead pizza?
I’m terrified to ask what live pizza smells like.
Smells like pepperoni, cheese and pineapple.
As much as I’d hate to see Jacob lose, I really hope that Amber stays with Mike. I think they’re good together. Jacob could stick with Roz or something
Or stick IN Roz! Hurr hurr hurr.
Hmm…. perhaps the three of them together?
The most disturbing part of the mental image of Jacob, Amber and Mike having a threesome is the expression on Mike’s face.
Great, now I have that mental image. The worst part is that I don’t even know if he’s smiling or frowning, and I don’t know which one is more disturbing.
One word: Hatefucks.
I remember when I told a girl I really liked her and she laughed it off like I wasn’t serious, then when she realized I was, things got very awkward and we were never as close since. I know now it was for the best, but that hurt never goes away.
For a double shot of shame and creepy, try telling a guy that and finding out that he was only pretending to be gay to get girls (can anyone explain how that would work anyway? I was too freaked out to ask him at the time, and it doesn’t seem to make much sense.)
I will explain this. It’s the same principle as the Bad Boy phenomenon. Where the girl knows the guy she’s into is a piece of shit, but pursues a relationship anyways, thinking she can “change” him. Basically, the guy who pretends to be gay is banking on the same thing. In this case the girl thinks “He just hasn’t met the right woman.” So yeah. He’s basically trying to trick girls that think they’re hot enough to convert gay guys into being straight.
not to mention before the “i can change him” thing, the woman will feel safe around him. she doesn’t have to worry about him putting the moves on her because he’s “gay”. over time she realizes how great he is (or is he?) and decides she will try to change him.
For a completely different yet entirely similar effect, try coming out to someone of the opposite gender who thinks you have a crush on them. Its pretty awkward.
Try asking a friend to the prom who REALLY (apparently) didn’t think of you that way. It’s “great”.
“I… I’m kind of lovesick over you. Also, I banged your mom.”
“Yeah, ha ha, a your mom joke. Never hear those.”
Well when you phrase it like that, he sounds more and more like her type…
Mike and Jacob need to compete for amber’s love with a “Bang Her Mom” contest. Whoever wins gets Amber. Runner up can keep her mom.
You can’t tell me Stacy wouldn’t agree to this, either.
Okay, Jacob…disgusting pizza boxes everywhere will not impress a lady. Also, your past would deter many women, including Amber. Also, Amber is with Mike.
Amber seems more annoyed than disbelieving. She doesn’t want Jacob to be in love with her? Aw. It would be a change from having to force a guy into being with her, wouldn’t it?
Am I the only one who has noticed that Jacob has gained weight, inevitable effect of eating only pizza and never leaving the room I guess.
Actually, lit looks like he’slost some weight from
an earlier strip.
I guess he left the double down but of course that was not enough.
Lies! I… um… hm…
(Note to self: Switch to Chinese food.)
EVERYONE is in love with Amber. Except Leslie. Otherwise, EVERYONE
Also not Ethan, Galasso, Ninja Rick, Ultra Car, Ken, Roz, or Malaya.
No! Ninja Rick and Amber-chan’s relation must survive! WHAT ABOUT MY FANFICS, DAVID?
I knew it! Amber x Reagan OTP.
That is…frightening.
…yet!
Perhaps a more reasonable statement would be ‘Everyone seems to end up into Amber at some point’?
BAH-ZING! Actually, Ultra Car’s the one that everyone gets inside of.
So you are saying she and Conquest still have a chance? Hawt.
the entire staff at mcawesome’s parasailing and chocolate bakery is in love with amber.
Sydney Yus’ real reason for destroy.ing Shortpacked is to try and get into Amber’s pants
So is hording pizza boxes like Ethan hords toys?
That depends. Does the collecter bought old pizza boxes from the 80′s?
it’s similar, but ethan doesn’t build forts out of his toys.
Unless it’s Fortress Maximus.
good call
… See this is why telling the truth is overrated, everybody just assumes you’re making jokes whenever you say something that could be seen as slightly improbable.
I figured it out! Willis plans to break up all the couples and then someone, probably Ninja Rick, will go psycho and end-up killing everyone. It will be the end of Shortpacked forever!
Know that future-strip that showed Shortpacked now consisting only of Ninja Rick killing spiders with his sword?
That’s how it happened. Zoom out and you’ll see that the entire rest of the cast is dead, and Rick now lives alone in the store surrounded by their preserved bodies.
Oh yeah I forgot about that strip, good memory.
If Willis was to make a limited edition comic of this happening in an alternate universe, sort of like an Earth-”X” comic, I would buy the hell out of it.
“There can be only — Spider!”
Seems everybody has forgotten Jacob has sexual obsession (basically a form of OCD).
It makes sense that he is making his apartment a nasty pizza-filled hole. If he is trying to stop his addiction he would take steps to make his home a lady repelling place.
Remember the “Cinamax” noises. Women are not being repelled.
The solution is simple. Kill… the Batman. Wait, wrong solution.
The solution is simple. Clone… the Amber.
So Jacob / Faz?
Cassandra Truth in full effect there(or am I wrong?)
Looks like Jacob’s getting a little chubby. Might need to lay off the pizzas. Or maybe his plan is to solve his problem via making himself unattractive to ladies.
If Jacob gets the help he obviously needs I wouldn’t mind seeing him and Amber together. Of course by that point Amber and Mike will probably already be married. I honestly don’t really like Amber and Mike together but I’ve accepted it and I’ll be surprised if they ever actually break up. As I’m sure it’s been said before their relationship is very disturbing. I agree that I think that Amber’s instantaneous dismissal of Jacob’s confession is based largely on low self esteem rather then lack of interest. I honestly don’t think that Amber ever even considered that any guy besides Mike was an actual possibility for her. I think her finding out that someone like Jacob who actually seems like a decent guy might really force her to examine the relationship it kind of feels to me like she settled for but I don’t see her leaving Mike.
I like Mike and Amber together.
Pizza boxes my ass, he killed Amber’s mother and has her propped up in a rocking chair while he sometimes pretends to be her and stabs attractive young women in the shower
What I want to know is how is he having so much of the wild and crazy sex if his place smells like garbage? Rule #1 of being a player: don’t be the smelly kid.
Whores. Obviously.
Wait, you have to pay for those. Sluts then.
Oh jesus. I don’t *think* she’d screw Jacob…. but if she does…. and now Mike actually loves her….
She looks kind of like a hamster in panel 9.