Tonight’s strip calls back to both this strip and this strip.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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Knew it!
HA.
So many commenters called it yesterday.
I like that, through all this, he still has the blush spots rockin’.
Oh wow. That is perhaps the most perfect way Mike could ever propose. I’m rolling right now.
And that’s because Amber told him not to fuck his mom!
Oh God damn my brain is freezing up with how hard I’m laughing internally.
Proposals. The Mike Way.
This should be a show.
I had a feeling he’d do this. As did many others.
And to think there were those who said Mike was losing his touch.
Even Rommel was never so magnificent a bastard.
clap
What. The. Eff.
It’s Mike… it’s what he does.
He also does your mother….for a nickle
Unless he loves you. In that case, he sets her up with a very special motherlover. For free. And keeps a recording for you.
This is highly satisfactory. Well done Willis.
Greatest proposal ever. I knew he wasn’t just jerking her around. Though that took some serious, Xanatos-level planning. Good job, Mike.
Well dang. Mike wins.
+Bonus points if he actually proposes after this.
Aaaaand I didn’t realize it was actually a proposal! neeeevermind.
I had to read it twice before I realized what it was “saying.”
The really twisted part? If she and Mike break up over this, the next time someone proposes to Amber, she will flash back to this moment and be horrified all over again.
OH MY GOD!
Mike you evil son of a bitch. You are my hero
Epic proposal is epic.
I don’t always propose, but when I do, I edit an audio clip of your mom doing a guy that lusts after you.
At least he didn’t propose to her in a webcomic or something. I mean, how lame can you get?
HAH I see what you did there.
*slow clap*
*Joins slow clap*
*joins slow clap, now picking up speed*
*joins the speeding slow clap*
HE’S FASTER THAN A SPEEDING SLOW CLAP
Hmmm… A lot of folks around here seem to have the clap.
Well, if it wasn’t for your mom…
This is absolutely perfect. Well played, Willis, well played…
But will this make her want out of the relationship?
Possibly. The last time Mike did anything personal to her (mention her daddy issues) she punched him to the ground.
Which turned him on.
…it was also one of the sexiest smiles Mike ever had in this series.
Did you just misspell ‘most terrifying’ as ‘sexiest’?
It’s a fetish thing, I guess.
Er, taunted her about her daddy issues, that is.
So… does this mean everyone’s right? >_> He proposed… and he revealed her mom slept with Jacob.
This also means he’s been planning this for a LOOOOOONG time.
not really, just meant he had the audio on hand and finally found a PERFECT use for it
Well, yeah, but everyone’s been calling for some sort of masterstroke on Mike’s part since Amber forced them on their first date.
Granted, Jacob wasn’t around then, but maybe Mike just has plans upon plans for any given situation.
Not everyone. A good portion of us were going with proposal via dead hamster.
I was kind of thinking dead hamster/proposal fakeout, with possibly a long series of fakeouts to come so that when/if he did propose she might not think it would actually happen.
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Well whaddaya know, he didn’t have to spell it out with dead cats.
Amber- “That’s fucking terrible. Anything else?”
Mike- “That’s all?”
Amber- “Uh… yeah.”
Mike- “Now I can say I love you.”
(Sloppy, sloppy make-outs)
Oh my gosh. This would be the perfect response. Then Willis should show Robin still in the background with a twisted look of delight/disgust/horror frozen on her face.
Oh my God, now ‘Mike Doesn’t Fuck Amber’s Mom’ makes even more sense!
I’m referring specifically to the title, for clarification.
Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyup.
You….vile, unpredictable, inhuman….God. This was a year’s worth of planning? You are a fucking Genius! I am not worthy! -bows-
Mr. Willis, this is why I hope never to personally piss you off. I’m sure you are a perfectly nice gentleman, but Mike lives somewhere in your head. I’d sooner give Bruce Banner a noogie.
Mike doesn’t live in Willis’ head. …well okay, he does, just not the one most people think of first.
And only while doing you mom.
Willis has several heads?
I believe they’re referring to the “little head”.
Never has an “r” been so sorely missed…
Willis, you magnificent bastard.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! She’ll say yes too! Mike is the devil!
This would eventually happen…
Whoa.
So now what? Amber dumps the proposal? Gets mad at Jacob AND her mom?
…Or says yes and blows everything off? Nah. That’s not Amber.
Why would Amber get angry at either of them?
Because people are irrational?
I dont see why she would be angry with her mom. She is a grown woman. She can have sex with whoever she wants. She may be shocked to learn jacob and her mom made hanky panky but i doubt she will be angry for it
Mike’s Final Smash.
We’ll have to wait to see if it’s a three stock KO though.
Mike always gives me a confused boner.
That was a mental image I really didn’t need.
That was a mental image I wasn’t aware was possible.
Mike is officially an EVIL good guy Semme agent!
This thing is the best thing that ever could have been a thing.
And there is the other shoe
“I think… I think we live in the past, not the present.”
“What? Why?”
“Everything is this weird bluish colour, you know? And I feel like some guy is narrating our lives while we don’t actually make any noise.”
“So we live in a flashback. Huh.”
“Plus that’s totally Ronald Reagan over there.”
…. wow. Just…. wow.
This is really the only way Mike could have proposed, I guess. It’s beautiful in it’s complete and utter horror.
The dead cats would’ve been less scarring. D: I did a shudder for real the second I realized what was going on in the last panel.
I got this far in the comments before even realizing it….
Tonights strip far surpasses every other comic strip you’ve done before.
I put the idea of a proposal together with using a recording of AmberMom and Jacob… And wasn’t even close! Da-a-amn!
I had doubts, but this is perfect Mike. Now i see what I thought was a hamster coffin was actually a tape recorder, well played.
What makes this the absolutely perfect Mike proposal is that it boils down to “I (indirectly) fucked your mom.” Brilliant. Just brilliant.
Can she please dump him now? Please? Gah, I’ve never been able to stand Mike.
No.
Only question is, why is he using an old memo tape recorder? Where would he even FIND one? I would think most people would just use their phones for such hijinks these days.
Physical copies, such as tapes, have that “personal” touch.
Plus you can pull the tape and put it away in a drawer to keep safe for ever. Or, like, y’know, pull it and smash it into itty bitty pieces with a hammer without endangering the phone or what.
For that personal touch.
This strip is genius.
In some fucked up, and awkwardly romantic way, this is actually pretty sweet.
Wow. that’s a real dick way to propose. Good for Mike.
Wait a second… would that mean he was planning to propose before Amber brought it up?
He may not have known how he wanted to use the recordings until later.
Yes, but why did he go out of his way to set up Amber’s mom with Jacob if he didn’t have a plan in mind? I guess just general dickish high jinks, sure, but if there is one thing that we should have learned by now is that Mike knows what he’s doing.
Laugh out loud? I gave this the full Tarantulas!
That proposal is pure concentrated Mike. You could just replace any character profile of him with this strip.
This was a ridiculous display of mike-ness. and awesome
but now i’m worried she’s going to say no
That is all kinds of fucked up, but it makes sense. Mike is a real fucking bastard, but this is some next level shit. If she accepts, then she can handle pretty much anything Mike does. If not, then at least she got out in time before the shitstorm. It also goes back to her dating Mike’s real personality.
Yes Amber you’re right, you ARE marrying the Devil (if you say yes that is).
Y’know, this whole marriage idea didn’t even come up until just recently, when Amber mentioned the idea at the Transformers convention. Which utterly surprised Mike. Which makes you wonder what kind of “rainy day” Mike was saving that recording for, if he wasn’t saving it for this!
Also, HOOOOLLLYYYYYYYY SHHHHHIIIIIII——–
or maybe he was always planning to do this and he was just surprised at the convention because he thought amber found the recording.
Fricking genius.
Mike… you are motherfucking brilliant.
This is by far Mike’s most elaborate scheme yet. Even Batman would go “Seriously?”
Now the big question is how will Amber react? She can’t be surprised that Mike would do this. If anything she should have expected something like this. And she really has no place to get pissed off. After all, Jacob and her mom are single and she wasn’t even interested in him at the time…
I’d be really impressed if Amber took the wind completely out of Mike’s sail by going “So what do I care if you got my mom and Jacob to sleep together? I’m dating you, not Jacob.”
That would be an interesting response, and Amber has grown in that direction, but I think this is still too personal for her to just shrug it off.
It doesn’t matter if Amber was interested in Jacob or not. Mike just admitted to manipulating Amber’s mother into having sex with their neighbor. An event which probably is a big part of why Jacob went so far over the edge.
This is pure genius on Mike’s part. If Amber says yes then she has proven she can take anything he can throw at her. If she gets upset then he proves that they shouldn’t get married
Either way, Mike wins.
I actually find it a bit hard to believe Amber’s concern is going to be that Mike helped get Amber’s mom laid. Mike after all didn’t force Amber’s mom into having sex with Jacob, he gave her the option to make the decision for herself. If Amber’s mom had said “no thanks”, Mike’s entire plan would have failed from the start.
I’d expect Amber to be more freaked out by the fact her mom had sex in general, than the fact Mike essentially set them.
And as for pushing Jacob over the edge, again if Amber gets pissed about this, I’d be a bit surprised. Mostly because of the fact that its something she’d expect Mike to do, and wouldn’t be the shocking. If anything she’d be surprised Mike didn’t try to destroy Jacob sooner.
After all, he slept with both Amber and Ethan for the sole purpose of damaging their relationship. A guy with sexual addiction would be like shooting fish in a barrel
And frankly, I’d blame Roz more than Mike, since she was the one who weakened Jacob’s defenses, with her sexual advances and mocking of his sexual addiction.
When I think about it, I’m not sure it’s a complete win-win scenerio though for Mike. I mean, what if Amber does say “I don’t care” and it destroys Mike. This could shatter his confidence in his ability to screw with people. After all, he’s been working at this for a year. This is his longest and most elaborate scheme so far. If it fails, he’d either be certain she’s the one, or he’d loose all confidence in himself.
You’re implying Mike makes plans where he can lose.
And you’re implying Mike plans. Mike is a beautiful force of evil. He didn’t make the recording to be used in this specific way. He made it because it’s evil. He edited it because it’s evil. He only ever does anything (while sober) for 2 reasons.
1. EVIL
2. Gotta pay my bills to keep doing EVIL.
Love.
I actually see this as Mike marking his territory. He knew that Jacob would hit on Amber’s mom and whether if they did anything or not, Jacob would be embarrassed and retreat from Amber. Mike was taking out a rival in his twisted way. Amber will be pissed at first, but will see this as a romantic gesture and marry Mike.
I gotta concur. This scheme was so brilliant in that it filled many needs at once (like Joe’s joe). And I totally think one of them was to royally fuck over Jacob- not just to keep him out of Amber’s way, but also to punish him for even thinking about it.
RelationshipMike actually strikes me as crueler than SingleMike. Not all the time, but when he does do something it tends to be epic. He acts stand-offishly decent to Amber most of the time (even appearing to find her behavior a little endearing) so maybe he’s just compensating?
..oddly enough *I* find that romantic. The idea of Mike kicked out a rival permanently. Amber wouldn’t even dare consider dating Jacob if she ever learned he had sex with her mom, and Jacob wouldn’t dare go after Amber realizing he did her mom.
Twisted. Effective. And drives the point home. So the balls are in Amber’s court. I say a punch and a sloppy kiss.
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and assume ‘balls’ is not a typo XD
That’s… surprisingly astute. Just a couple comics ago Amber admitted that she found Jacob incredibly attractive. Like, in a ‘I’d be crazy if I turned you down if you asked!’ kind of attractive. And Mike KNEW Jacob had a thing for Amber, as he so demonstrated with the whole freaking out Robin on the chalkboard thing.
So… yes. Maybe he didn’t plan on asking her to marry him at the time of the recording, but that was at the time likely second to shutting down a dangerously growing rival.
Found the comic in question.
This is why you don’t want to be on the list, Jacob!
http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-11/02-the-relationshipocalypse/popular/
Completely setting aside whatever feeling of personal violation Amber has, Mike still deliberately tipped a recovering addict at a point of weakness into relapse.
It’s an incredibly awful thing to do.
Hah! I love this. Very sweet, in a Mike way.
Epic. This is the first time Mike has ever made me laugh.
… … ok…
that seems lie a lot of planing to ask her in the most horrifying way EVER. but then this is mike we are talking about
Now I’m wrestling with whether Amber can accept being with Mike and knowing her relationship has lead to the destruction of someone else – who has a thing for her. She can take his abuse. She can take his abuse of others. But can she take being the reason for his abuse of others?
She did use him to beat on Faz. Does Faz count as people?
That’s basically Amber beating on Faz through a proxy. No isue because she intended it to go down that way. What I wonder is if people she would rather not see hurt end up hurt because she chooses to be with Mike. Then maybe she’d worry that she was putting others in the same position her mom sort of put her in because AmberMom chose a prick (AmberDad) to be with. Kind of an “oh shit, I’m becoming my mother” thing.
Dude, don’t do Amber a disservice here.
She KNOWS that Mike is a dick. She knew that well before SHE blackmailed HIM into them dating. Mike has made it well known (at least to her and the audience) that she’s calling the shots and he is in a forced situation.
Frankly, she brought this on herself; he’s been trying to push her buttons and get her to dump him (as she in charge, not him, so he can’t do it) for a long time now, with various schemes. This, while epic, isn’t exactly the first time he’s tried something.
If Amber balks at this, I’d be honestly disappointed in her. She goes through all this effort to catch lightning in the bottle and then she’s surprised when it zaps her opening the lid?
It’s MIKE. What did she THINK was gonna happen?
I can’t wait to see the level of horror/anger in Amber’s face. This could reach new levels of awesomeness.
Welcome back Mike. We miss you.
holy sweet baby christmas, even for mike, this was some next level shit!
LoL, love it
It’s odd how about 7 people called this, here, but nobody predicted Big Boss’ response to Roz in DoA!
With Mike, you know it’s not going to be good.
They were too busy blaming Roz for not asking Joe’s permission.
She should have asked first
#JustUsingAMeme #PleaseDontBanMe
Didn’t Willis say this would never become a meme as long as he has his delete button?
The thing is, trying to squash a meme just makes it stronger… only letting a meme reach “Old meme is old” status kills it.
FAAAAAACE!!
FAAAAACE
Yes, that is a very good example of “old meme is old.”
…I can’t believe I didn’t notice that was Big Boss.
Man, it’s been too long.
And all over the world, assholes are falling to their knees and hailing Mike as their king.
Poor Amber. I do not see this ending well for their relationship….drama tag in play and all that.
I hope to be able to propose to somebody in a similar way in the future
Yes, this is much better than dead cats.
and yet she’ll forgive him him in tomorrow’s strip b/c she’s freaky too. which is why i love her
So that’s what, two of Mike’s own relationships he’s sabotaged now, or is it too soon to call it…?
its too soon and i do have reasons:
-she wanted to date him at his most *ss hole-ic, she knew what she was getting into http://www.shortpacked.com/2009/comic/book-9/03-mikes-double-life/date-2/
-http://www.shortpacked.com/2009/comic/book-9/05-blackmail-is-love/sealions/ there first date
-http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-11/01-no-thanks-to-eharmony/silence/ somehow she LIKES him this way
-http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-11/02-the-relationshipocalypse/smile/ http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-11/02-the-relationshipocalypse/matters-2/ http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AwLookTheyReallyDoLoveEachOther
-http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/03-minorities-report/foreshadowing/ false report of bad things happening to amber, so i think she’ll actually be happy with this (just a guess mind you)
-no srsly, they really do love each other http://www.shortpacked.com/2011/comic/book-13/02-the-new-girl/hell/
-mike just said in this comic they have thin walls, so she could have heard
-and if i remember right, Amber loathes her father, so if her mom was happy, and Mike helped with that she could be fine with the setup, if not actually hearing her humping Jacob
i also think that this will be his last try, his untopable dickery that will show him that no matter what he does, Amber owns him (mwahaha)
Yay, someone who remembered that Mike is, kinda, the victim here!
Mike is the best character.
Mike Warner: Putting the “bastard” in “magnificent bastard” since April 16th, 1999.
Also: In your mom.
For a nickel.
Altogether now. Three…two…one…DAMN! YOU! WILLIS! Though this was a nice twist.
Awww I wanted to be the first to say it. I don’t know if I’d cry or go nuclear if Mike did that to me.
Damn it Mike, reading about dysfunctional fictional romances is how I get my jollies. Stop ruining this for me!
Amber’s a grown-up. Her mom is a grown-up. Jacob is a grown-up. What they all did is their own business, I guess. Amber KNOWS Mike is evil at his core. Their relationship has been based on f’ed-up-ness from the beginning. She should say “yes” to his proposal …and knee him in the groin.
D:
HOLY. F*CKING. SHIT.
Wow. That was… Well, that was just the most Mike.
Dayumn.
Well played, Willis.
Best proposal ever.
Assholery Par Excellance!
Bravo, Sir!
I doubt Amber’s going to go “so what” at Mike pretty much destroying Jacob’s life, but at the same time I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker.
A-fucking-mazing.
I love expression on Mike’s face at the bottom: that defiant sort of dare, with just a bit of apprehension (and possibly a little drunkenness?)
You seem to be the only person who called this. Though looking back at it, it seems obvious.
……..
Bravo, Michael Warner.
*standing ovation*
I kind of saw this coming but…
I don’t know if this is
a) sick.
b) sweet and sick.
c) pure evil.
d) pure genius that is both sick and evil, but also insanely amazing and she should accept based solely on how well organized it was…
I just don’t know… wow…
I can see how it’s impressive, but isn’t it also incredibly – well – disgusting and loathsome?
Mike needs help…
Lots of help…
Why are people cheering for this man? (other than how incredibly well planned and evil that was) I think it’s genius too but damn, it‘s not genius in a good way!
Mike is bordering if not long since passed being EVIL. Am I the only one who considers this factor! This is a horrible way to propose people!
Yes Amber might not care; hell I’d probably marry him if I thought their was was a way to harness this planning power for myself, but damn Mike – just damn…
I know he’s a fan favorite – hell I can see why; that was amazing!
Please stop trying to rationalize away why this is bad – it is BAD – it is horrible – it’s just ewwwww~!
Why does it seem like almost none of Mike’s fans are fans of him for being Mike? Why does it seem like they gleefully pass on blame to other people?
Why can’t they love him for who he is like I do!?
~~~
Side Note: Got my Ethan statue a few days ago! He’s so cute~! Thank you very much!
*Read in Film Brain’s voice*
Trust me, we love him because he makes absolutely NO excuses for his behaviour, in an era where EVERY villain has to have a sympathetic backstoryyyyyyyy
Then you my good sir/lady are a REAL fan of Mike the character! Others have decided that Mike must be held at different standards than everyone else! I to like Mike for being over the top evil with no regrets. (Although that no regrets thing may change if it turns out he really does like Amber and she dumps him over this)
Several people are rationalizing it as others people involved faults (Jacob and Amber’s Mom for example; who are indeed adults but Mike DID manipulate them) or saying ti’s so clever she should accept the proposal and seem to ignore the fact that downplaying and erasing his involvement would probably piss Mike off.
And for some of the shippers don’t seem to want Amber and Mike as much as they want – Amber and guy who looks like Mike, but is perfect in every way!
I think you might like Richard, http://lfgcomic.com/page/1
I just like when people mess with other people and Mike is a master when it comes to that so I like Mike. Also I can think of no other character in any of the quite numerous web-comics I read who could get away with that.
I pick D.
And I love Mike. Because he is Mike. And Evil. And……some of us actually date guys who are like that because we like it. Me being an example. Though I’ve never found someone as far down as Mike.
I hate mike. I dont think he’s cool, and I rarely think he’s funny. Amber and Mike make me like this comic less. In fact, Mike being in this comic makes me like it less.
I do like this comic, but I’m very ready for Mike to not be in it so much, if at all, or amber to finally leave this guy. And then he get’s hit by a truck.
To clarify, I mean that Amber being with mike makes me like this comic less, not amber herself. I like amber, even though her character arc (that’s still going…sigh) is needing to be ended and for her to learn something and have it pay off.
Oh I agree Mike DESERVES to get hit by a truck, especially after the Dina debacle, but it’s the lack of regret that makes him appealing. No excuses, No regrets. BOOM!
>Implying Mike with his superpowers would be affected by getting hit by a truck.
Yeah, seems like a waste of a good truck. And knowing Mike, it’s probably a truck full of orphans.
Well, there always has to be that one guy. Congratulations.
So he uses Jacob’s “words” rearranged to propose to Amber – not sure how she is going to react really.
Mike may have swapped the numbers, but Amber’s mom had to be the one to reciprocate. So…I have no idea what to expect anymore XD.
Uh… You’re assuming he only used Jacob’s “words”. My guess is that it’s at best both Jacob AND her mom on the tape; at worst, just her mom. You know. Whichever Amber would likely find the most horrifying.
–Which is probably both of them going at it. Niiiiice.
So Mike is responsible for COMPLETELY RUINING Jacob, deliberately.
Fuck. That’s cold, man, even for him.
IDK.
I mean Amber fell for him after he raped both herself, and Ethan, her best friend, on the same night, and also facilitated Faz’s rape of Ethan (admittedly neither of them knows about that last part).
This is comparatively mild.
I doubt it was rape. Just because they were drunk doesn’t make it rape. They way they both fought over Mike shows there was attraction to him. All Mike probably had to do was say “I’m having sex with you now.” And they’d jump at the chance.
Except for the Faz part. Anything sexual involving Faz immediately qualifies as Rape.
“Just because they were drunk doesn’t make it rape.”
Them being drunk and Mike being 100% cold sober absolutely makes it rape, along with the fact that Mike specifically and deliberately set out to take advantage of their impaired consent.
If he could, as you guess, done it when they were sober, then he should have done that, and it would only have been incredibly awful, and not rape. But he did, so it was.
Calling intoxicated sex “rape” is a bad slippery slope. Here’s some situations, that are “rape” under that overbroad definition:
-Two strangers who came to a bar to get drunk and have sex with any person who would have them
-A person using alcohol to gain the courage to ask out someone who they’ve liked for a long time. Despite the alcohol, the person happily accepts and this situation quickly leads to sex.
-An established couple who has sex when one or both of them happens to be intoxicated.
etc etc
“It wasn’t the best idea to have sex with this person after all” is not rape. “I regret having sex with this person, even though I wanted to at the time” is not rape. Rape is a real and serious issue, and I feel like some definitions are ridiculously overbroad and unfair to the people involved.
Here’s a situation that is rape by my definition:
A person who is completely 100% sober specifically and deliberately using two people’s state of inebriation to manipulate them into acts to which they would otherwise not have consented for the explicit purpose of hurting them.
Sorry that you don’t like the idea that people in a drugged state are not in a reasonable situation to provide consent but that doesn’t make it stop being true.
Oh like you’ve never raped anyone while humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme.
Happy Anniversary Amber, it has been exactly one year ago today that Jacob fucked your mother. YAY!
Damn, I don’t know if this is in character for Mike, or out of character because every once in a while he has tried to be nice to Amber.
But at least he kept his promise last year and didn’t have sex with the mom.
Mike is my hero
He’s not a man, he’s a force of nature!
Ho-lee-smokes. Mind blown; very well done.
Man, I love Mike. I mean, don’t like him at all, but what a badass character.
So he crushed the recovery attempts of a sex addict and turned him into a slobbering cave-monkey of a human by manipulating the situation into one where he has sex with Amber’s mom in order to get audio to rearrange into a marriage proposal…
Well. No one can say she doesn’t know what she’s getting into! Most Mike way of proposing ever~
So either she really loves Mike to his sick and twisted core, and will say yes, or she’ll be horrified/pissed off and realize she’s been in a false relationship the whole time. Either way: Awwwwwwwwww marriage proposal! <3
CRITICAL AWESOME.
And thus Amber learned an important message about manipulating another person and forcing them into a marriage they may not be happy with:
It will retroactively cause your mother to get fucked.
It’s actually hilarious going over the comments on the ‘Oh my!’ comic.
Dang, Mike. Dang. That’s a new low, even for him.
I can’t wait to see Amber’s reaction. I honestly have no idea what to expect.
You haven’t read It’s Walky! have you? He’s done a LOOOOT worse.
No homo but I love mike
No beastiality, but I love my cat.
Mike: No necro, but I love your mom. By which I mean “yeah, necro”.
Bravo, Mr. Willis! Well plotted!
Okay… That was -beyond words- the most devious and well thought out kidney stab and marriage proposal (though then again he probably planned on giving her the unedited version for her birthday) combined into one that I have -ever- seen. This is going to be one of those ‘slap and devious grin followed with a yes, or a ‘no you have to say it’ things.
Oh.My.God!
I sure didn’t wait this kind of propose.
This is incredible funny/clever.
I love Mike!
<..>
To quote CM Punk “You’re surprised?! I’m a snake, you idiot(s)!”
Wait, how did Mike know about Jacob’s crush on Amber? I mean yeah, he’s Mike so he knows everything, but that’s the only thing that doesn’t make sense. Yet.
Jacob kind of gave it away when he gave Mike and Amber tips about the apartment close to his own. Mike, being the master of manipulation and reading people, caught on and put Jacob higher up on his list.
Faz is at the top of that list. Just FYI.
Faz is popular among his peers
Oh, Mike. All I really want now is Amber to say she doesn’t care and accept the proposal. Mike shall be utterly defeated. And it shall be glorious.
I wonder how Robin will react in the background
I. . .uh. . .wow. . .this isn’t funny.
I don’t know what else to say.
Breaking lurkerdom briefly to say- well played, Willis. Best laugh of the week.
Possibly the most emotionally scarring way to be proposed to: in audio clippings of your mum having sex with your friend.
Heheh… Watch her smile sincerely, look deep into his eyes quietly, and with a calm voice say ‘no’ just to pull that ultimate reverse and watch Mike be the one who flips out.
Er.. well…um…that’s…. one way to do it….altho it’s technically Jacob proposing.. *lol*
don’t forget amber’s mom.
… and the internet was left in awe.
My head asplode.
The man is brilliant.
I’m predicting this is a test, if Amber can stay cool after this, she can handle anything Mike throws her way.
THEN MARRIAGE! Or..maybe not.
Oh, Mike, you never fail me.
Wow for once I am so glad I don’t read the comments. That was incredible, that caught me completely by surprise, and it was hilarious.
Also kinda sweet that Mike’s been planning that proposal for so long and that he really put some thought into it.
THAT FUCKING CUNT
Willis? Delete button? Please?
FUCKING EPIC. you sank the good ship Lesin and replaced it with a dingly called Leslaya but good god the Ambike just went titanic. now please send it south away from those icebergs…
THIS IS THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY OF ALL TIME FOREVER HOLY SHITTING BALLS ON A TOASTED SASQUATCH SERVED IN A FANCY RESTAURANT FOR DINNER AND CONSUMED IN 12.6 MINUTES WITH AN AVERAGE BITE-TIME OF 2 AND HALF SECONDS PER SWALLOW LINDENBURG AVATAR-CRUNCHING BASTARD. SMITE. SHIT. YES.
Well played Willis. Well played.
I’d say I can’t wait for Friday’s strip but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a non-Amber/Mike one.
Which I’m down with if MP10 Optimus Prime is out by then.
oh man mike thats awful….and kinda awsome
Holy flyin’ SHITBALLS.
This is 100% Mike. Well played, Willis.
Mikes one final attempt to push Amber away from him, to be too much of an ass for her to handle. Somehow I don’t even think this will drive her away.
I’m not sure this is an attempt to push her away. You push away people you care about who you don’t want to hurt or that type of thing… Mike tryin gto push Amber away would imply that he has emotions other than anger, hatred and amusement at other people’s pain (except when he’s drunk).
Since I saw this one, it occurred to me that he might have been planning this out all along, and his alarm at when she mentioned marriage meant she might have already figured out what he had planned/found evidence of it, which would ruin a year’s worth of hard work.
Why does she say “Will”?
You know how a lot of people shout out “God!” during intercourse? Walkyverse characters shout out “Willis!”. It get’s…awkward for Ethan and Drew.
…Wow.
I can see it, though.
Nice one, Willis.
You get an Internet.
This is going to be one of the longest waits until tomorrow to see what happens. Mad props to you, Willis. Mad props.
Well played Willis.
Extreme revenge for the drunk Mike Amber forced on him when her mom visited. Nicely done Mike.
Oh Wow! He crushed that one! It’s going, going, GONE!
GRAND SLAM HOME RUN FOR DAVID WILLIS! Stand up and give him a hand folks! David Willis just CRUSHED that joke into the right field bleachers!
How romantic.. I think? maybe?
Best. Proposal. Ever.
Crowning momment of awesome?
Crowning momment of awesome.
‘I recorded that night into a message that’ll change out lives.’ Good god, Amber, say yes. *-* Thost two are destined to be a couple and spread evil around the globe. They can’t deny fate.
…
I think everything I wanted to say has already been said.
So I thought of something new to say: I wonder if the tape message is all Jacob, all Amber’s mom, or both of them alternating. Each option would be as horrible, but in different ways.
“What’s in the box Jokey, what’s in the box?” -Robot Chicken’s Brainy Smurf
Wow, he managed to troll her AND propose at the same time. Why I expected any less, I’ll never know.
Hmmmm. A deviation. An interesting challenge.
Assuming Robin doesn’t kill him at the speed of sound.
Where’d he get the “will” from?
Epic Dickery.
Truly epic.
Hats off to you, Mr. Willis.
Only Mike would think of this. Or actually do this.
he looks like a hot mess in the last panel!
MIKE.. IS.. A.. GOD!!!!( an evil god, but a god none the less.)
Wow.
I’m reminded of what Cerebus said after he threw the baby: “Sometimes you can get what you want and still not be happy.”
and now I am too.
“Bless you.”
So… Amber is hearing a mixture of Jacob and her mom in that clip… that Mike mixed into a proposal…
I know I’m going to be wrong (because DAMN YOU, WILLIS!), but in my mind, Mike ends up back in a full body cast, and Jacob’s offer of a job gets rescinded ASAP.
It for serious took me 206 comments to realize that the words in the last panel were Amber Will oooohhh mmm aaaa rrrr eeee mmmm eeee. I don’t ever get to feel intelligent again. ooph.
I didn’t even realise that the proposal was in the ohhh and ahhhh.
oh. damn. i knew it would be bad, but i think Mike’s outdone himself.
Mike is a magnificent Asshole. This was the defining moment of assholery for him.
Of course, if Amber says yes, Mike will owe her mom a nickel.
For the sex.
She had with Jacob.
This is a perfect combo of final test if she can really take him at his worst and proposal. I was rather expecting a pregnancy test, a roll of quarters and a ring… but this is so much better.
Now we all need to get back to Leslie/Malaya/Robin and Ethan/Drew.
By the by, I just want to state for the record here, that from my perspective Mike/Amber is the healthiest, most adult relationship in this comic… unlike everyone else they can (mostly) accept each other for who and what they are
Too true. Also, Mike just won some sort of asshole prize.
Some sort of prize? He took the freakin’ Gold Medal! There was only one greater assholish move he could’ve taken, and that was to bang Amber’s mom.
Oh this is gonna be gooooood!
*Aplauds* Bravo Willis Bravo I genuinly didn’t see this coming you delightful mad genius you.
PREDICTION: Amber will have single, crystallizing moment, where she realizes what she’s gotten herself into and will leave Mike. Possibly with flashbacks.
PREDICTION: Amber will smile and say yes with tears in her eyes, throwing her arms around Mike.
Honestly, Amber should be used to Mike by now, so in some way, I’m thinking she’s gonna find this to be romantic, in Mike’s own, unique way.
Can’t…comment…
Choking…on…cookie…
Wow Mike, just wow. You will never cease to amaze me.
FYI: I actually did choke on a SUBWAY chocolate chip cookie upon reading this comic.
Someone. SOMEONE put this page at the top of the TV Tropes page for Magnificent Bastard. Here, I’ll even put the link to it right here. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MagnificentBastard
Why isn’t Mike already under the “Web Original” link on that same page?
I would do it myself, but I find myself unable to wiki. Even if my life depended on it. But this thing needs to be done.
Awwwwwwww!
You’re all forgetting the most crucial thing of all!
Willis didn’t include “nipple” in the tags.
EVIL WINS.
Oh, Mike. You just made my life.
My only question?
Who made which noises on that tape recorder. I think if it was all Amber’s mom that would be MUCH more scarring. …Probably?
Fantastic!
-airfox
So Jacob did Amber’s mom… BECAUSE of Mike.
Oh my god. This man is a genius.
Never commented before, but I needed to this time because I screamed “YES” after reading the last panel.
…YES. SO MUCH YES.
Wow, that was simultaneously Mike’s most impressive and most asshole-ish thing of all time. OF ALL TIME!
No, Mike! Just No! Well, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming.
About the only way Mike could top this proposal would be (assuming Amber says yes, of course) to wait until their honeymoon and, just when the lights are off and they’re about to consummate the marriage, pull a switcheroo with Faz.
Simply imagine something like this or this, but involving Faz instead.
I’m not sure in what way deception rape is funny!
Just finished an archive binge – you know this is seriously both adorable and awful at the same time?
SOOOO Mike, too. I kinda want a Mike action figure now.
Mike figure: http://www.patchtogether.com/store/mike-warner-180.html
I knew about the action figure, I just can’t afford it.
Also, lol, it’s out of stock!
no huge surprise.Now in the real world most people would break up at that point.But then in the real world Mike wouldnt exist.Hes almost a cartoon character really.Hes not as bad as a Ninja Rick or some other silly characters,but still a bit silly.Having said that ,he didnt really do much of anything really other then switch a door number,and “borrow” a phone. Two grown adults did whatever they decided to do.No one really got hurt.JAcob was not any more damaged by that one sexual encounter then any other he had.And we havent seen any evidence Ambers mom was damaged.Heck it might have been the best or even only sex shes had in years?
It all comes across superficially as evil but If you think about it then its not really.
In the real world Mike would presumably, one hopes, be acknowledged as a rapist.
No, he wouldn’t, unless by lunatics, since he did nothing even remotely approaching rape.
Ask him what he (Mike) thinks of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song…
“Almost”?
Flawless Victory.
I must give a shout out to Those who called what Mike would do with that phone in the 9/7/2010 strip, one year to the date…DYW!
I don’t know why I’m stuck on this but I can’t get past that he tells her “quiet” not “shut-up)
Well played, Willis. And Mike. I was a few days behind on the comic. Totally didn’t see the proposal coming. And then…this. Absolutely WTF, and yet brilliant at the same time, in a Mike sort of way. Bravo, sir, bravo.
Best…Shortpacked…EVER!
Yes…YES!
This is the greatest proposal I have ever witnessed. Thank you Willis.
Wow. …wow…
Mike… I doff my hat to you, sir. Well done. Well done…
Um…i’m gonna sound stupid for saying this, but what exactly is the recorder saying….other than sex noises…Is it , “Will you marry me?” cause I can only understand some of it. :/ I guess i’m the only one who stared at that message and tried to completely spell it out.
“Amber, will you marry me?”
This is probably the most Mike-ish thing he’s done in a while.
Looking at his face in the last panel, it’s pretty obvious that he’s really struggling to keep the angry eyebrows going.
That is so amazingly wrong, yet so perfectly Mike. I’m horrified and laughing at the same time. WELL-PLAYED, MR. WILLIS.
knew he was gonna pull some shit move if he did it, but never woulda guessed it to be this dickish. Well done, David, very nice.
I’ve been reading dumbing of age; already read it’s walky/roomies. Now I’m reading through the archives of shortpacked, and this strip is possibly the one that made me laugh hardest in the archive so far.