Saturday and Sunday I’ll be at Mid-Ohio Con here in Columbus, Ohio! Come see me there!
Knock that bitch out Amber.
Oh no…I didn’t just first did I…
Yeah, but nobody actually gives a shit, so you’re in the clear.
You’re not supposed to tell them that though…
will someone please for the love of god hit that woman? mike? where’s mike? mike stop fucking my mom and hit her!
I would gladly hit her.
its may 2013 and no one has noticed willis giving Amber pregnancy enhancements to the spawn’s food source?
Seriously diggin’ the Butters gravatar.
Amazi-Girl is immune to palette swaps?
Yeah, I actually think I like the mostly yellow better.
I actually did a whole bunch of test color swaps with her. Teal green, Magenta, Salmon pink…
Wish I had a place to post them.
Try Imageshack or Photobucket. I use the former and it seems okay.
Those are her original costume colors. They’re switched in Dumbing of Age.
in the archives, she’s yellow t-shirt, blue sleeves
Hit the ‘Previous Entries’ button at the bottom, you’ll see her first appearances where blue shirt and yellow mask. The palette swap occured when she had to assemble her costume in NY
So, wait, which one is the inverted, evil duplicate?
The inverted duplicate would be lriG-iMA.
Ami-Girl? With the power of amigos? The power of Amigas? The power of outdated word processor Ami Pro? The power of Sailor Mercury?
Great. Now I’ve got the theme of “Tres Amigos” stuck in my head. XD
David can we have an evolution of Amazi-Girl artwork thingy/poster? Maybe it could even have stuff like her fighting nemesis that only ever happened in your head? Unless such a thing already exists of course.
All in favor of giving Malaya’s job to Fuckface?
Aye. He’ll probably do it better.
F*** YEA! F***ing Forthed for F***ing F***Face!
F*** YEA! F***ing Forthed for F***ing F*Face!
Fuck yeah, Fuckface!
Fuck Yeah! Pokeman!
I am ashamed…
Somehow I don’t even know who that is, if it IS anyone, and I’m cool with it.
It’s the lizard. And if its charisma wasn’t dampened by the Bitch Queen, then the store would probably be packed full of customers every day.
Hey, Geico got famous when they got a lizard to be their mascot. Shortpacked could easily do the same.
I think one of the Apollo Astronaut memoir books has a recipie for slow roasted iguana. (They did survival training in Panama.)
Because of all the tasty iguanas they were likely to find on the moon?
I could go for a space iguana sandwich right now …. mmmmmmmm
Iguanas…. in….. SPAAAAACE!
(seriously, they had survival training in case their spacecraft came down in an unexpected place and they had to spend time in the jungle waiting to be rescued. And good memory on the book – I think it was Michael Collins’ Carrying the Fire.)
And now I have to watch King Dinosaur again.
Don’t you mean the Muppet Show?
Wish I was in Tijuana…
I haven’t heard that song for years. Well played. Now the day will be spent with, “Radio…radio…” looping through my head.
I read an excerpt from that bookor one a lot like it in an old English textbook my dad had lying around.
I cannot, for the life of me, recall whether they said it tasted like chicken.
everything tastes like chicken
Do you know what it really reminds me of? Tasty Wheat. Did you ever eat Tasty Wheat?
Do NOT piss off a pregnant woman, Malaya. First rule.
“The Doctor lies”?
Do not. Bowties are cool.
Particularly one who can fire you at will.
Malaya didn’t want the job in the first place. Hard to get at her since if Amber really uses her authority to give Malaya the nasty jobs, (Malaya, clean up the vomit on aisle 12) Malaya will quit.
And then she will lose her living space when Arnold boots her. So Amber would still win.
Based on the above strip, she probably won’t quit at this point and doesn’t want to lose her job.
Hmmm … Now Amber needs a spine, and to give Malaya the nasty tasks so we can enjoy Malaya’s suffering vicariously.
Ah, I hate Malaya more every time she appears.
I think that’s the point of her character. She’s the new Faz.
Useless but relevant fact: Earlier this week, somebody had mentioned that ZAFTIG is GIT FAZ backwards.
Except Faz gets his comeuppance regularly. Malaya gets away with everything.
I’m pretty sure Malaya is going to lose something pretty important to her if she doesn’t learn to be nicer.
Hoping you’re right.
Personally, I’d accept Fuckface vomiting in Malaya’s hair as a good comeuppance. Or at least to add to the moment when the shit hits the fan.
If somethign happens to FUckFace I’ll never forgive Willis!
You mean her spot on the couch?
And Faz was kind of pitiable even back when he was a bit more clever.
Malaya’s just a hot hate injection.
…with a 16-guage needle.
Faz is a likeable character. Annoying but likeable.
Malaya is the one that even the people just like her would hate.
Amber: now all the way up to 0.000002% as much of an asshole as Mike.
that bitch kill the bitch
Okay what the hell is wrong with this girl? I mean seriously? How can anyone be this goddamn unpleasant?
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE!
That actually sounds about right. I’ve said this before, but I think it means something that twice now, Malaya’s listed Leslie’s virtues and ended with “she’s nice to me.” I don’t think many people have been nice to Malaya, even discounting the ones that she was mean to first. Ken, okay, sorta, but it’s clear that he wants something for his trouble, which she can’t give. She lives her life in a defensive crouch, and lashes out, even blindly, rather than be vulnerable.
I know it seems like she’s getting a free pass, but this kind of behavior does come back to bite you sooner or later, one way or another.
Not to say that’s an excuse. But I find her relatable for this. Faz, for most of his existence in the strip, was either a spoiled know-nothing or a creepiness machine.
I dunno, part of Malaya’s “punch” as a character kind of requires that she never receives comuppance for her actions, gets hurt, or is made to cry. She needs to remain essentially invincible and invulnerable while she does her thing, otherwise it wouldn’t mean so much.
Let me put it this way: For all of Mike’s assholish behavior, you can count the times he’s been punched in the face on one hand, and he didn’t even come out behind after all of them/. Too much would neuter the character. Likewise with Malaya – just firing her would make the character fizzle away. But if even her bosses are too intimidated to say anything, then she can continue to entertain us within this comic strip.
It seems to me there’s a difference between Mike’s brand of being a jerk and Malaya’s, which makes Malaya more annoying to read about and, therefore, more deserving of comeuppance, but I’m not sure how to put it into words.
It’s like Faz and Galasso . Objectively, they are equally horrific characters, for broadly similar reasons, but subjectively I see Galasso as an amusing character, whereas Faz deserves to meet his comeuppance in every strip he appears in, and many where he does not.
…and then I read on, and discover other people have already put it into words.
I think it’s a jerk version of the Uncanny Valley.
Mike and Faz are cartoonish. There’s no way anyone like them could live in the real world and not be locked up instantly. They’re funny because they trangress in ways real people can’t.
Malaya’s realistic. She’s the kind of bitch you can see existing in real life. That makes her more contemptible, because we’ve all met (and probably hated) people who were like Malaya to one degree or another.
I dunno, I just hate her more than Mike, Galasso, or Faz mostly ’cause she’s a girl. It does seem to be a general consenses that a man can get away with more in a fictional setting than a woman.
And don’t tell me that your female friends don’t go harder on other girls than guys.
(and I say this all as a woman as well, so please, call me sexist, but not a guy being sexist)
I’ve done some thinking about this and I think that the phenomenon in media is partially the result of the fact that there is usually one female character for every ten male characters. As a result, female viewers are forced to place all of their eggs in one basket. A good solid example is Leia in the original Star Wars trilogy. There are any number of men around them of different creeds — there’s a Han Solo and a Luke Skywalker and an Obi-Wan and a Darth Vader and a Boba Fett and even a Lando Calrissian: very different male archetypes, affording male viewers with plenty of different characters to admire and identify with. If you like the scoundrel, you can be Han Solo; if you like the plucky young hero, you can be Luke; etc.
But flip the coin and no matter WHAT type of girl you are, you only have Leia. This sets Leia an impossible task, and a lot of women hate her because she’s “too bitchy”. But it’s not as simple as “Viewers are sexist and won’t let Leia get away with as much jackassery as Han Solo because she’s a woman.” I think it’s much more that these women want a girl more like Luke to identify themselves with, and if they had that they wouldn’t be offended by Leia.
My Little Pony~Friendship is Magic~ features a LOT of female characters that the show couldn’t get away with if not for how MANY of them there are. I mean, imagine if Pinkie Pie was the only girl. A lot of the target audience would hate her, not because she’s a terrible character but because she’s an extremely girly fashion pony: she’s a “pink” girl. And a lot of women are not “pink” girls. But because Pinkie Pie is one of a million female characters, we see her as instead a spectrum of femininity: a girl we recognize, if not a girl we personally are.
But again, most shows veer more Star Wars than MLP. Most shows have five male main characters and then one or two females. And that one female (or two females) must then somehow be as diverse as those five males. It’s a recipe for disaster: you can’t have a coherent character who is ass-kicking AND babysitting AND whatever else. Hollywood tries all the time and winds up with faux Action Girls, tough women who fall in love and then turn to jell-o.
I think it’s sad that even when we DO have a fairly diverse cast of female characters, the phenomenon still creeps in — but I think it’s also to be expected. You can’t have shit this ubiquitous without getting some of it on you, and only time and a lot of experience with GOOD shows will help us to stop hating on female characters for being too dot-dot-dot.
Li, this is a very thoughtful and well-considered response. I hope you wouldn’t mind if I quoted it in other discussions later.
Li, that was an awesomly detailed and thoughtful reply, and I completely agree with everything you said.
but apparently I don’t make a good troll because my comment got such a great reply and not a hellacious torrent of screaming people….. i’m not sure if i should be upset or not
The thing is she’s unpleasant because she is a jerk who thinks people agree with her. Mike on the other hand knows he’s a jerk.
Honestly this level of just not giving a shit is actually almost impressive. I still hope someone makes her cry at some point and if it’s Leslie all the better.
At least Mike’s nice when he’s drunk. Malaya has no reprieve like that.
Also, Mike is an ass when it’s most comedic. Malaya’s just bitchy.
Sorry, I meant he was a jerk.
We don’t know how Malaya is when she’s drunk.
I’d like to see Malaya drunk!
I second this.
I third it and raise you one alcohol poisoning.
I think that’s the most galling thing.
Back when I was like that years of abuse did it. Her? No idea. And even I had the decency to grow out of it.
She’s still sort of young.
Fuckface = +4 CHA
No, given Malaya’s -10 cha to bitchiness, Fuckface has to be at least +15 to be too charismatic to fire.
What if she wears a Leather Rebel Armour, AND Eulogy Jone’s hat AND Fuckface at the same time? And the gets drunk? She’d have more charisma than Mr. New Vegas!
Wearing more than one head item at once is total hax.
Unless she is a munchkin.
Wow. Fuckface gives one huge bonus.
I read that wrong at first. Not gonna tell you what I thought you wrote, figure it out for yourself.
It goes with faces, mothers, and nickels, doesn’t it?
….Nickels? Okay, that one is new to me.
Okay, we’ll have Mike and your mom explain it to you… slowly.
Aaaaaand that clinches it. Malaya is an absolute bitch.
Are you missing anything, Amber? Yeah, the human being underneath it all, but no one’s really interested in that, are they?
It’s difficult to be interested in “the human being underneath” when that human being has nothing but meanness coming out of their mouth.
You mean like how Malaya is clearly missing the human being underneath all of Amber’s fat and breeding tendencies?
Yeah, Amber’s the one who isn’t showing enough compassion.
*In best Shirley impression:* Noooo.
Malaya should be grateful Leslie hasn’t paid her that sort of interest yet.
Yanno, Leslie’s seen her be an ass to her friends already. I’d love to see more of that.
Please, Willis? Please?
I think Leslie’s too busy being deep in denial, just like Vega.
Dear god. I hate her.
oh, poor amber
Why not assign her to work with Faz on a permanent basis? Or does she consider that too cruel?
Ah, now that’s a FINE idea! Make it so, Number One!
That carries far too much risk. If Malaya is bi and hits it off with Faz, it would cause disaster.
Yes, good point. If those two got together,they could cause an asshole singularity with enough strength to rip a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum, and who knows what might come through the hole. Don’t forget comics rule number 17(b): All things from another dimension are evil.
Besides, what did FAZ do to deserve that fate?
What did Faz do!? Where can I start? Pairing Faz and Malaya is a win-win situation. Either she get so disgusted with him she quits on her own or she beats Faz senseless for harassing her. Of course if Amber reinstates the policy of firing whoever doesn’t sell the most protection plans by the end of Christmas she’s as good as gone. She makes Sydney Yus downright pleasant.
OK, I am officially sick of Malaya. Get the hook!
I… Wow, this is actually the one comic that has upset me the most in all my life.
Mostly because there are so many people like her IRL that it kinds of makes you lose faith in humanity =/
Unfortunately, that kind of person always wins in the real world.
Not always. But enough of the time to be pretty galling.
Oh, not always. I remember that time we… on second thought, forget I said anything.
Is Ethan slowly turning into Reed Richards with his grey temples?
Nah, Reed is gray all around the back too. Clearly, Ethan has been possessed by Parallax. It’s only a matter of time before he destroys them all, usurps Galasso, and tries to alter time and space to repair his failed relationship.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who noticed the grey/gray (?) temples on Ethan! Is this the first time that’s been used?
I swear, someone has asked this for at least the last three or four strips Ethan’s been in. Willis has already said something to the effect of ‘yes, Ethan’s getting some gray.’ I wish I remember where, though; might’ve been his tumblr.
Why do I get the feeling Mike’s gonna cheat on amber with Malaya?
What’s wrong with you people? Calling your boss fat and then insisting and reiterating when they look annoyed is the BEST way to keep your job!
That might be the point, remember, Malaya doesn’t really wanna work there.
True. If she gets fired, she can blame Ken for it… somehow. And use the excuse to never have to get another job in that apartment again.
I’ve said it before. Others have said it. But I’ll say it again: Malaya is detestable.
Some people seem to think her “honesty” absolves her of being a collassal ass, but those people… probably haven’t had to deal with comments like this on a frequent basis.
Really, really hoping that Leslie sees enough of this shit to realize that she’s too good for Malaya. And then maybe Malaya will learn a valuable lesson! Or maybe she’ll continue to be an asshole and assume that people’s reactions to her are their fault and not hers. (much more likely)
She’s Mike, but without the cleverness or the self awareness. She’s equally mean-spirited, and they’re both terrible, terrible human beings, but Mike’s antics are funny, and hers are just unpleasant.
She’s equally mean-spirited
Yeah I remember all those times Malaya physically attacked people for fun.
You’re confusing character with behaviour.
The spirit is mean, the motivation is weak.
Maybe she just needs to ‘self-diagnose’ herself with Aspergers. Then she’ll be off the hook for everything she says.
(NOTE: As in Glee, this is not any kind of slight against people who actually have Aspergers. This is solely against the fuckfaces who ‘diagnose’ themselves with it as an excuse to be… well, fuckfaces.)
Maybe she doesn’t fire her ’cause she reminds her of mike? *shrugs shoulders*
Mike’s an asshole. Malaya is insulting, which is somehow worse.
that’s insubordination right there. write her up, 20 demerits, put her on the undesirable shift, whichever.
You know, I just realized that even Ethan wants her fired.
Just what kind of jackassery has she been doing behind the scenes, too?
He was looking forward to stocking the upcoming Transformers Dark of the Moon toys and she did it before he did. This might’ve been forgivable since if no one knew any better they might make the same mistake too, but then she trashed the Transformer line and that’s enough to put her on Ethan’s bad side. I think the only ones that like her is Ken and Ninja Rick.
Leslie seems to like her.
Leslie is a decent human being and I think Leslie is only now starting to really get to know Malaya. The more Malaya shows her true colors the less Leslie’s going to like her.
when you gonna make Malaya suffer, Mr Willis?
Malaya will gradually edge out all the other characters and become the star of the strip, with just Faz and Sidney Yus as supporting characters.
Faz and who?
Boy, I like Malaya. No, seriously. She makes me laugh, and Amber needs taking down some pegs. And if it hurts Robin in the process, all the better.
Actually, no. Hurt Robin, that utterly detestable harridan, is top priority. Knock Amber down a few is a close second.
Also, don’t forget to kick her in the baby. That placenta has got to PAY for existing!
I… Why does Amber need knocking down a few pegs? She stopped being an asshole a while back, and seems like a good person again. Plus, she kept the assertiveness that asshole period had, so… I don’t see the problem?
She’s getting in the way of Ethan/Mike shipping, maybe? (Would that be ‘Eke’ shipping?)
I think that might actually be ‘EEK!’ shipping.
Yes, because how dare Amber ever try to have self-esteem or feel good about herself! [/sarcasm]
Whoa!!! Today’s a big day, it’s the first time Amazi-Girl has appeared in two strips at the same time…she really does have super powers! I also didn’t realize she could travel in between parallel universes.
No, no no. All this tells us is that DoA-AmaziGirl cannot be Amber. I mean, how could she be, when Amber is standing right here, dressed up as AmaziGirl.
It’s true. My lizard has +12 charisma and uses it to her advantage.
I would put the lizard on the schedule instead of Malaya
Fuckface is one cool lizard.
Also, goddamn it, Malaya! I try to find something good about her, and she’s more bitchy than before! BITCHINESS CAN’T BE THE ONLY THING THERE IS TO HER! D:
Seriously. Even Mike’s assholery works itself into a good cause sometimes. And even when it doesn’t it’s amusing. Malaya just becomes more and more unappealing.
If only we can harness Malays’s jerkass nature for good instead of nastiness.
Well, she does own a cool lizard. That’s a point in her favor.
grumpy amazi-girl amuses me. I know not why
No, it doesn’t, Amber. You’re her boss, she’s disrespecting you and is a bitch in a social work setting. Now fire her, as you have plenty of grounds for. It’s your goddamn JOB.
Either do you’re paid to do or give the position to someone who will and stop wasting time being incompetent.
Q: You been hittin’ the donuts porko?
A: Nope. But I’m thinkin’ of hittin’ some dumb bitch upside her big head.
For all of you who don’t think that Malaya’s insults are a bad thing:
If Malaya collected toys instead of criticizing people, wouldn’t you want somebody to put a stop to it?
Are you suggesting that Malaya could be a lot more popular despite her personality if she had the decency to be a toy otaku in a webcomic of this nature?
I think what’s being suggested is that Malaya has a being-an-asshole addiction.
Um, no? Insulting is bad; collecting is neutral – I literally don’t see what sort of strange connection you’re trying to make.
….it’s a joke referring to the absurd arguments made during the whole Drew/Ethan dramafest that centered around Ethan’s toy collecting habits.
Oh, my god! You’re absolutely right! I’m so glad she’s just an asshole instead of taking up a hobby that thousands, if not millions of people have, that could totally be hoarding with a different label!
Amzi-girl in both Shortpacked AND DoA! My life is complete
I love that these threads have progressed from failing to acknowledge the ridiculous double standard between screaming BITCH every time Malaya hurts someone’s nerd-feelings and furiously jacking off every time Mike attacks someone or rapes them or tries to ruin their life, to trying to make excuses for it.
“Sure Ninja Rick murdered a guy that one time – but Malaya MADE FUN of TRANSFORMERS kill that bitch the bitch kill the bitch”
Well, I’m trying to figure out why I find Mike hilarious and Malaya completely grating, and I think it comes down to a couple of things.
1) Mike’s violence/assholishness is usually a punchline. ie, it actually makes me laugh. Malaya’s assholishness is the hate without the punchline, so you get the full effect of the hate instead of the cartoonish hilarity. Sort of the difference between The Simpson’s Nelson Muntz vs Twilight’s Bella Swan. One is a funny, cartoonish asshole, one is just a straight-up asshole.
2) Most of Malaya’s remarks come from that arrogant, “I am better than you” asshole mentality that drives me up the wall. She probably doesn’t realize she’s being an asshole at all; from her attitude, I would guess that she just believes that she’s totally right and other people need to hear her wisdom because they’d be too dumb to realize how disgusting and uncool they are otherwise. This kind of attitude particularly grates on me because I grew up with a sibling who has just that brand of self-important arrogance. Mike, while still a complete asshole, has never done the vain, puffed-up, “Gawd, why does someone as great as me have to share oxygen with you losers?” assholery.
Well, when Malaya dies saving the life of a teammate he didn’t particularly like, then I might start regarding her assholery more favourably.
Mike is a bigger arsehole, true, However, Mike has redeeming features, even when he’s sober. Malaya has none, and thus the hate.
It’s really simple. Mike’s meanness is often (always) funny, usually pretty ambitious (he doesn’t just say that random people are fat or ugly), and often over the top to where no real person could even accomplish such a thing. Whereas Malaya is a realistic ass hole. It’s the same reason I love Dr. Doom and hate high school bullies or radio talk show hosts. Stop trying to act like it’s some moral failing of the readers that most of us can put this together.
Now, don’t try to take away dangermouse’s moral high ground here. It’s the only thing that gets him through the day!
Well, he *does* go telling random people that he fucked their mom. For a nickel.
However, Mike usually doesn’t insult or hit people until they try to interact with him. (Correct me if I’m wrong on this!) He doesn’t *start* a conversation with “hi, moron”, but he could easily *end* a conversation with “and that’s why you’re a moron”. Maybe that’s why we’re more forgiving of him. The other people really have themselves to blame for being stupid enough to approach Mike.
But here we see Malaya striking up a conversation with an insult, and we’re immediately offended. I’m starting to wonder if that’s simply her way of saying “hello”.
To be fair to Mike, he probably did fuck their mom for a nickel.
Taking this kind of personally, aren’t you?
Malaya’s a terrible person and I hope she gets hit by bus.
Mike’s been so quiet with Malaya stealing his asshole thunder. I hope he’s planning something really big for her.
TROLLPOST #1: Malaya should die slowly and painfully. I hope someone tortures her to death on-panel with Transformers.
TROLLPOST #2: Malaya is sweet and innocent and cute. I hope Amber dies a horrible death because she doesn’t agree with Malaya.
TROLLPOST #3: Why is it that all the LGBT characters in this comic strip have major issues? It should be boycotted until we have proper role models.
REALPOST #1: You know, it says how good a writer Willis is that all he has to do is post a variation of “Malaya acts like a bitch” and the writing is good enough to cause so much discussion.
REALPOST #2: Malaya is unpleasant. However, her unpleasantness is becoming a pretty good part of this comic, even if we don’t like her.
I don’t know if I agree with Realpost #2. I find its easier to just skim past Malaya moments as though they didn’t exist. I guess she’s kind of realistic in that sense.
I second this. Whenever I see Malaya in the strip, I either go straight to the comments or skip the strip entirely. Unless Robin is in it. Not ashamed to admit I read this comic solely for Robin.
She must be a GODDESS in bed for leslie to put up with her.
Five goddesses and a muse, to be precise.
Has there been sexytimes between Malaya and Leslie?
hey the random button is broaken it keeps bringing me here no matter what comic i’m on. Is anyone else haveing this problem?
Ok, that was pretty funny.
Seriously, though Amber is her boss. Immediately put her to work scrubbing toilets or something. Or sic Mike on her. Or something other than going “Dang that felt bad, if only there was SOME WAY I, her boss with a psychopath boyfriend, could get back at her.” *facepalm*
Amber may be trying to be the better woman. I’ve not been a shift manager, but I’ve been in other situations where you feel that your first responsibility is not only BEING fair, but APPEARING fair to everyone, and being so worried about abusing your power that you refuse to punish people for indiscretions that stop just short of crossing the line.
However, what this eventually does — if the person in question keeps on pushing it and stinking the place up — is create a feeling of unfairness to all the other people about why this troublemaker is getting a free pass. So I hope, for the sake of discipline at the store, that Amber wakes up and smells the coffee in disciplining Malaya soon.
I’ve been in this EXACT situation before, but was never able to articulate it quite this well. I’m not sure if this is what’s going on with Amber, but its definately a real phenomenon. Knowing what we know of Amber, it seem to fit.
Poor Amber, indeed.
I think it’s time Amber proves she’s Mike’s soulmate by forcing her two greatest enemies ego’s to meet head on. Malaya’s cut down’s vs Faz’s ability to make a positive out of every negative.
Truly a battle that would last forever.
I am very displeased, Malaya. >| What have you got against Amber? She’s not a threat to you, and she hasn’t done anything to you, so you’re really just letting your natural unpleasantness shine through. And to your boss, too, which makes you unpleasant AND stupid.
I wonder if by wearing that costume, Amber will be immune to any new criticisms Malaya will make.
Wait … what does Mayala’s bitchiness to Amber have to do with Ultra-Car, who we all know is Amazi-Girl?
No, that’s the other comic. In this one, Amber actually is Amazi-Girl.
Seriously, why has Amber not just fired Malaya? I’m pretty sure that no one except Leslie and Ken likes her. She’s rude, she openly insulting for no good reason, she hates working there, she acts like she’s better than everyone. She really has no redeeming qualities, and as someone mentioned above, if the only thing keeping her employed is the lizard, then fire her, and give the job to the lizard and everyone wins.
Side note: Does anyone else thing that Ethan’s new shading on the hair makes it look he’s starting to go grey and thus look older?
To all those who can’t figure out why we hate Malaya and love Mike, I’ll use a pro wrestling example. The difference between Malaya and Mike is like the difference between Vickie Guerrero and “Lie, Cheat, Steal”-era Eddie Guerrero (R.I.P.).
One is irritating, and simple, while the other is an asshole, but is clever and entertaining. Mike/Eddie’s reaction is “Ha! What an asshole, that’s so funny/awesome!”, while Vickie/Malaya’s reaction is “Oh god, make her go away, for pete’s sake!”
Oh, I’m pretty sure everyone understand why we hate Malaya but like Mike. But Mike at least seems to enjoy his job because it gives him willing victims to destroy and he has his attractiveness and the fact he’s dating Amber that keeps him employed. What’s Malaya excuse beyond having a lizard?
Jesus, does nobody read the Itswalky Tumblr? Or the Shortpacked twitter feed? Or the _other goddamn comments_? It’s like the end of Sgt. Pepper’s on every strip.
He could have just stated it in the comic description when he started. Why expect the audience of a comic to read somewhere else on information, even if it’s the comments? Granted, I bet a lot don’t read the desriptions either but at least it would be where people are actually looking.
Exactly, Thank you.
Actually, no I don’t read the twitter or the tumblr, and seeing as I don’t always have time to read every single comment on the site that everyone else makes, its rather easy to overlook when other people make similiar comments. So no need for the attitude. Next time, you can just ignore the comment ya know.
I have to be honest, the reactions to Malaya are what make her fun for me, both in-strip and in the comments.
Malaya: Mean fucking comment!
Ethan: I don’t have the balls to tell you you’re a bitch, despite banging on dumbass fanboys day and night!
Amber: I have no self-esteem, and thus am unable to tell you you’re a bitch!
Readers: JUST KILL HER ALREADY
It never, ever gets old.
I mean, I love the main cast and all, but Malaya _is_ showing us how pathetic Amber still is that she is still unable to either just brush off some idiot’s idiocy or fire her to get rid of her.
Can and should! Down with workplace bullying!
amber switched back to the blue costume because it’s bulkier, right?
Seriously, is Shortpacked becoming Mean Girls? Who’s gonna go all Lindsay Lohan?
All Amber needs to do to deal with the whole Malaya issue is make her work a shift with the following: Robin, Mike, Faz, Ultra-Car, Ninja Rick.
That would be the day from hell for her. Robin despises her, Ultra-Car would hit her with pies, Ninja Rick has already stated his intent regarding her, Faz would…be Faz. Dunno what Mike would do, but I bet Malaya will never be able to look her mom in the eye again.
And if she somehow makes it through this ordeal unscathed, it might be an impressive enough feat to warrant forgiveness, both from Amber and us. Anyone who can suffer that much torment deserves at least a modicum of respect.
Maybe Amber is actually Zeus in disguise, and the foetus (perhaps, in this case, foetuses) really is gestating in her calves. (I submit the births of Athena and Dionysius to the court as evidence of Zeus’s nontraditional birthing habits)
If Malaya was a vampire, she wouldn’t need a lizard for charisma.
Malaya merely needs to be socialized. Or driven out. Whatever.
I say we take the path of least resistance, so I would say that we need to driver her out… into a volcano. Prefferably an active one.
But why is Amazi-Girl taking such a personal interest in Amber? Is it because superheroes help other superheroes, since Amber is Spider-Car?
Wrong universe XD
God I hate Malaya. She doesn’t even seem to fit in. She should join the Peace Corps or something. Fuckface can stay with SP though!
Am I the only one who doesn’t hate Malaya’s guts?
Although, honestly, it’s hard not to feel a little pre-emptive sympathy for whatever made her such a bitch.
Being born, maybe? Not everything gets a reason.
I’ll be surprised if she’s eventally viewed as sympathetic by some of the audience, but the only thing I find interesting about her is the reactions we see in the comments section.
“Being born, maybe? Not everything gets a reason.”
I’ll second this. I’ve known girls who act like Malaya, just because they can. And usually when I’ve seen that, it’s been because they’re cute/beautiful, and know that being that attractive is enough to get them off the hook for most of the bad stuff they pull.
I don’t really care -why- she acts the way she does. I guess I just… don’t really care about her.
I think that later she might be a more enjoyable/sympathetic character, if she actually does have some backstory to why she is such a bitch, but until then she is really awful and unpleasant.
maybe she’ll catch salmonella. It’s really not a good idea to carry them on your head. Unfortunately Iguanas can naturally carry salmonella. You can get it from the small amounts of stool that can get on their feet and tail. Be sure to keep you iguanas cage as clean as possible, this can help prevent the transmission of the bacteria. And NEVER wash any of your iguanas things in your kitchen. And keep your hands away from your mouth and eyes when handling your Iguana, and always wash your hands immediately when you are done handling it. Take these pre \cautions and you should be safe from salmonella.
Or if customers in the store caught some salmonella… I think either/or/both would be pretty interesting.
And it wouldn’t mean that Malaya would be taken out of the picture, it could be a way to introduce either some backstory (fever ranting is always fun!) or just to throw a stick in her direction.
Amber is the Assistant Manager at the store. You don’t take abuse like that from new hires, no matter what the situation. She’s undermining her own authority by not terminating Mayala for such comments, or at the very least giving her a reprimand.
Mike’s an asshole to customers, but he also sells the most Customer Protection Rackets, so it’s understandable why he would be tolerated. Also, I’ve never seen Mike rage on his superiors.
Seriously, Malaya is getting intolerable and now that she’s taking pot shots at management, she should be on the fast track out of the store.
That or she should have an encounter with Sidney Yus.
“I’ve never seen Mike rage on his superiors”.
Wha… What? Read the comic again.
I think Mike’s forgivable because he’s a caricature rather than someone you’d expect to meet in real life. Malaya is all too similar to internet thugs and people who are douches to you for no knowable reason.
When has Mike raged on his superiors in Shortpacked!?
Fights with Amber don’t count, because those are usually relationship related.
There’s plenty of examples.
Galasso: I will crush them as easily as I crush this… this…
Mike: This glass. *hands glass*
Galasso. *breaks glass, cutting hand*
So there. Unless you’re just trolling, then congratulations on wasting 3 minutes of my time. *thumbs up*
Mike wasn’t responsible for that one, though. He just handed him the glass. Galasso was the one who crushed it.
No trolling here. (I’m kind of offended by the trolling comment though … so was that trolling on your part?).
And it seems we have very different definitions on what constitutes “raging on his superiors.” That exchange is entirely Galasso’s doing, not Mike’s.
Mike is actually pretty good at following orders, from both his SEMME squad commanders and Galasso. Mind, usually those orders go hand-in-hand with spreading misery, but he’s not typically insubordinate.
Must you always disagree with me, Willis?
Also, sorry about that “DoA! characters are simple” post on DoA! the other day. That was phrased badly. I didn’t mean to write it so confrontationally.
And now we have trolling INSIDE the comic too.
I thought trolling was the whole point of the comic?
I would +Like this comment if I could.
Pregnant women’s legs do ted to swell up, but more often due to edema (or similar symptoms) rather than just chubbiness. Of course, that ALSO happens, so…
So…not only is Ethan noticeably greying, he seems to be rapidly aging.
Is Ethan sick?
Ethan is actually a clone of the greatest fanboy-ranter of the 20th century. A secret Illuminati-esque organisation hoped to duplicate his father’s ranting powers in order to control the world with passive-aggressive sarcasm, and thus Ethan was born. Unfortunately, as a clone, Ethan’s cells decay rapidly, making him appear to be in his early forties when he is actually in his late thirties.
I did notice that Ethan’s hair gets considerably greyer by the final panel.
I think the main difference between Malaya and Mike is that Malaya is essentially trolling. She’s not trying to belittle someone into changing their behavior, she’s just trying to make them angry. Mike’s belittling comments seem to be intended to get people out of the whole they find themselves in; Malaya’s belittling comments get them into that hole in the first place.
To me, that’s the main difference that makes her much worse than Mike.
And we have a proof-reading FAIL! “Whole.” Honestly. >_<
I have no idea how anyone can hate ANY of the characters. I just don’t get all the hate I’m seeing for Malaya, Amber, Robin…etc *insert character name here, usually female*. They’re just projecting their own lives on to the comic, methinks. I feel like all the characters will have development and we’ll find their redeemable qualities and see some real changes in the dynamics. Gotta start somewhere extreme if you want the changes in personality to really be appreciable.
All these comments comparing Mike and Malaya, and no speculation about what Mike might do when he notices that Malaya is harassing his finance?
I was just thinking that as I was reading the comments myself. Hoping that the remarks by Malaya continue, just to see what Mike actually does. Interesting….
I’m actually thinking it’ll be the mildest implication of an insult that makes her break down.
Or, even better! Ethan goes off on one of his trademark rants at her, she breaks down and cries because he happened to hit upon the one thing that explains why she’s so bitchy, and then everyone (out of comic) feels sorry for her and regrets calling for her head.
That sounds like the sort of thing that Willis would do.
argh! the one year I’m not going to be able to go to Mid ohio con is the year you will be up there. dangit *fist shake*
I’ll tell my brother to stop by your table to say hello since that lucky bastard is going.
This. I’m like, half an hour away and I can’t go.
Malaya owns. Just drops some insults about Porko Amber’s weight and walks on like it ain’t no thang. Doesn’t even break her stride.
This. Malaya is pretty much my favorite character now.
So tell us again how misunderstood and not-that-bad Malaya is!
Oh for fuck’s sake, that is some SERIOUS weak-willed shit right there! Fuck-all the goddamn iguana, if that little bitch pulled this kind of shit at an actual job, it would be rightfully considered employee harassment and her shit would be gone before the afternoon was even over. Give at least one of your characters some goddamn self-respect!
I just realized, if Mike said that EXACT SAME LINE it would be funny instead of annoying. How does that work?
With Mike his sociopathic outbursts were originaly targeted at people no one liked and we were never shown the aftermath – net result; no heat and we’re willing to suffer him his asshollery when he targets less deserving targets and we do see consequences.
Malaya on the other hand has been attacking people who are liked, and we often witness an aftermath of self loathing and no repercussions for Malaya (yet) either – net result; HEAT UP IN THIS KITCHEN DAMN.
Okay, I hate to ask this since I’m sure somebody else has asked this as well, but has anybody noticed that Ethan’s hair is lighter on the back/side? Because it’s kinda been like that a while and he looks just a little old with it. And it’s been like that since him and Drew broke up.
I wounder how Malaya would react to being suspended without pay?
Not fired. Not hit by a truck. Just simply disciplined to knock her crap off.
I’m just curious if she would flip out, or take it.
been reading this comic for the last week now, gone through all the old ones and loved everyone
Malay..what’shername: Best character or the best character?
Seriously, this comic became 100% funnier when the readers decided to universally hate the one character who has a sane attitude towards toy collecting.
And of course there’s a double standard concerning her and Mike: one is female, one is not. Guess which one is hated for having opinions?
Firstly, how the hell is Malaya’s opinion ‘Sane’ in comparison to Ethan’s? In case you didn’t notice, this is a PRO-Toy Collector comic, and she is very much ANTI-Toy Collecting in every possible form. Ethan pursues his habit responsibly, without letting it turn into an unhealthy addiction and maintaining it to the extent that he can justify it to Drew as not being a great obstacle in their relationship. Malaya is just hate hate hate. What, would you call someone who was constantly denouncing Superman as ‘Gay’ a ‘healthier’ person than noted Superman collector Mike Meyer?
Oh, and the sexism thing. Note that despite behaving in an unhealthy, nasty manner towards his co-workers, Mike has NEVER denounced them as nothing more than a sub-category – ala Malaya’s “Breeders” – nor has he poked fun at someone’s physical appearance as she does here.
Their gender is NOT the only difference between them. Mike legitimately has something WRONG with his mind, and it has been shown again and again that being nasty to people is one of the few ways he can actually interact. Malaya CHOOSES to be this way because she seemingly derives pleasure from hurting other people’s feelings.
Personally, she’s starting to grow on me. I hope Leslie drops her like a stone and kicks her to the curb, but she honestly comes across as a potentially interesting new character to me. I want her to stick around, and I want her to become a full character, so yes, I want some bad stuff to happen to her to make her grow as a character a little. Jacob? Ken? Both pretty forgettable.
Malaya? I want her around until the end of the comic.
obvious troll is obvious
What I don’t understand is why Ultracar cares what Malaya says to Amber.
In New Zealand we’ve got a system of verbal warning for first infraction, written warning for second infraction, than termination notice for third infraction. It is possible to fire outright for criminal negligence, assault, use of illegal drugs, or for behaviour contracted as dismissable. Otherwise firing someone has a tendency to result in ‘wrongful dismissal’ charges.
Is it easier/safer to sack employees in the US?
Pretty much. Our government doesn’t really regulate which actions can and can’t get people fired – as long as it’s the employee’s fault, it’s up to the discretion of their superiors, or company policy, or whatever. Unless of course, some states have laws about when people are to be fired.
(Keep in mind, none of this is true when it’s the employer’s fault. If, for example, Malaya wasn’t a bitch and did her job perfectly, but got fired because of her race, then Amber could easily be in trouble.)
Welcome to the world of at-will employment. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/At-will_employment
Your boss could literally fire you because he didn’t like the color of the shirt you wore to work.
Of course, in many careers, the value that workers contribute to their employer and the difficulty in hiring/training replacement gives them a certain amount of insulation. Retail workers — especially seasonal ones or new ones — have almost none of that insulation, and are particularly vulnerable.
…. Can we just fire her and be done with it?
God yes, please fire her. Of all of the characters, I can stand her the least. She’s just an annoying bitch, with really no special quirks about her. You can find those anywhere in real life. Keep her outta Shortpacked. :/
The lizard charisma thing doesn’t seem to work on readers. Or anybody else.
Seems like Amazi girl is not immune to burgers
No one is immune to burgers.
Sorry, best version I could find…
You know, it occurs to me that if someone said that to me in real life, I’d probably go get a donut on my lunch break. Mainly because I’m not scared of calories, and am suggestible that way. Might even eat it in front of the person who suggested it.
So Ethan is actually going grey, huh?
I wasn’t sure if that’s what I saw in the last comic, or if the darkness caused his hair to look weird
In “A True Story” by Lucian, there are people that live in the sky and gestate their babies in their calves. It is the precursor to nearly all science fiction ever. It was written in the 100s, CE. You, sir, have either read this, or just come full circle.
*blink blink* Did… did David Willis just make a ROLE PLAYING GAME JOKE!?!?
Or was it a complete coincidence that lizards give a small bonus to charisma when used a magic user’s familiar in some games?
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