Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
amber
animated
batman
botcon
conquest
conventions
dark of the moon
david willis
dinobot
drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
generations
gijoe
guest strip
hamsters
homosexuality
jacob
jesus
joe
justice league
ken
leslie
malaya
megatron
merch
mike
ninja rick
nipple
optimus prime
politics
religion
robin desanto
ronald reagan
roz
sdcc
sg ravage
shattered glass
star wars
tni strips
transformers
transformers prime
ultra car
©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
Malaya is not my hero. She’s just kind of a jerk.
Not wanting to work at Shortpacked doesn’t make her a jerk! It makes her SANE.
Everybody seems to be missing that even though she doesn’t seem attracted to Ken, she still cares enough about not hurting his feelings that she agrees to work there for one day, which will inevitably become two days and five and then three years and then a lifetime of retail damnation. All just because she wants to be (relatively) nice to Mr. Mopey Face. That hardly sounds jerky to me.
I have to question this. To think someone’s sane to not want to work at Shortpacked it implies that they know more than the fact that it’s a toy store. It’s probably safe to assume that Ken talks about it but he seems to like it based off his enthusiasm for getting her to work there.
She seems like she just doesn’t want to work and actually passing an interview interferes with that. This coming from someone with a lot of unemployed friends.
Yeah, pretty much. She was acting like this before she even saw the place.
You may be right. That doesn’t make her a jerk.
I kinda makes her a wuss, though.
She didn’t agree to work for one day, though. She agreed to apply, and that’s all she’s willing to do. I suppose that is better than just bailing.
Nah. I read her coming in for the interview as “Fine. I’ll go to the interview, and do my best to flub it without looking deliberate. That’ll get the guy demanding rent off my back until I can fine a REAL job.” What she didn’t expect was an interview with one (ridiculous) question.
In other words, what Rognik said, if I’d scrolled down far enough to read it.
*Really* have to stop replying without checking the whole ‘tree’ of comments.
No, Mike is a jerk. This lady is insufferable.
Jerk is not the right term. She doesn’t want to work there seemingly because it looks “lame” or “stupid” or “retarded” (not that I use retarded as a negative term except when I use it to mean slowed or delayed) and not because everybody there has serious issues and the customers are often insane and the boss is a wannabe dictator and… everything else. She’s not quite a jerk, but she doesn’t seem to have good reasons for not working there just yet.
What is it with you and windows, Willis?? =D
He was probably abused by a window as a child.
These big box toy stores are reknowned for their total absense of windows. All they have are the ingress and egress sliding doors, and possibly an antechamber between them and the show floor doors.
At first glance, it seems like they do this to crush the spirits of their employees by preventing them from seeing anything beyond their tedious, Sysiphusian drudgery.
At second glance, same thing.
Hey, when I worked in retail, our break room had a window…
Sure, it overlooked the sales floor from above and made you feel like some kind of evil bird of prey, but it was a window damn it!
One day I want to live in a windowless house.
Knowing Willis, it’s more likely he abused windows as a child.
Oh great work Richard, now that will appear as 34 at somepoint D:
You mean, you didn’t know? Who do you think that kid was who Michael Jackson hung out the window?
Aww, he likes her. Wonder if she’ll punch Faz today or something?
Every day is a day I wish Faz would be punched.
Agreed, a good Faz-Punch would do a lot to make her character acceptable.
In fact, a good Faz-Punch would cause me to warm up to almost any character. Maybe even Faz.
Williss, have Faz punch himself to see if that makes us like him. And if it doesn’t work, at least we’ll get a laugh put of it.
I’d actually love for Willis to switch up expectations and have her actually be interested in Faz. It’d be hilarious, especially considering Willis has us all convinced that we automatically know how any given person will react to Faz.
Of course, for it to make any sense at all, Malaya will have to be absolutely out of her goddamned mind…
Maybe not interested in the sense I think you’re describing, but it could be cool if they became buddies and had a little witty back and forth going between them.
And they could scheme together! Picture it. Malaya behind the scenes is enabling Faz, learns of the suspected relationship between him and Amber, and pushes things further than every before! She’d talk him into being pushier than usual, give him all the information he so sorely lacks (except for genealogical information), and as a whole turns him into a dangerous force like he hasn’t been since his introduction!
…and then Amber replaces them both because she has authority now or something. Crap, this really doesn’t hold together as well as it would have last month… *pout*
And just for fun, have Faz be totally not attracted to her. Humour potential explodes exponentially.
Getting to punch Faz might improve her attitude toward the whole thing.
ick. I’d cut my losses and run at this point, Ken. Ain’t gonna happen, and you’ll just be miserable trying.
Ken is a wuss with misplaced affections. Malaya is a jerk. Together, they will make a REALISTICALLY UNHAPPY COUPLE.
I’m so shipping them.
I have instant dislike of this person.
poor ken
, he needs to meet barbie 
you know, i’ve never actually looked especially hard, but i don’t think i’ve ever seen an asian barbie. not that ken can’t date whomever he wants, i’m just making an observation.
They have/had them. I remember my cousin owning one. Along with 50 other Barbies, none of whom ever wore clothes. I was the only one not surprised when she turned out to be gay. My cousin, not Asian Barbie, though I suppose she might be as well.
I also seem to remember hearing that some people were upset that she didn’t actually look very Asian. GIS isn’t helping me confirm whether or not this is true, I think there have been several of them over the years, with their ethnicities having varying degrees of obviousness, and I don’t care enough about Barbies to really research it.
it seems like it would be hard to craft an asian likeness onto a doll that was subtle enough to not be offensive and obvious enough to not be offensive in an entirely different way
It’s pretty common for Barbies to be perpetually, or near-perpetually naked. Most of my female cousins and friends’ Barbies, for instance. So far as I know, none of them are gay.
My mom and I gave a special edition Barbie in traditional Thailand clothes to a cousin, and as far as I can remember there was a japanese one with a Kimono as well.
Don’t see the problem with working in a toy store myself. I was stuck in fast food for a good long while. I would have killed to debate Beast Wars with fat jerks.
Instead I got to debate why you couldn’t walk in and claim we got your order wrong six months months ago, so you deserve free food now. With fat jerks.
“Debating with fat jerks” isn’t what I’d call it. More like being assaulted at 9am everyday by the toy collectors. I kid you not. If an unopened box is spotted, they will wait for an employee to open it, and then get in the way.
Try being asaulted at 4am by people who want their coffee now, dammit, and demand to know why you aren’t serving breakfast yet, even though they come in every day and you are never serving breakfast by 4am, because you just got there 2 minutes ago and the “just got off the late shift” crowd isn’t big enough for the owners to justify having everything up and running this early.
I have received threats of physical violence from huge men armed with wrenches. Whereas I’ve never met a toy collector I couldn’t beat up or out run.
There was always the possibility of someone getting stabbed or sliced by the box-cutter by getting in the way, or worse, having the cart with 100kg of toys come and crush your legs or run over your toes, if not tip over completely. Different danger, same reason – inconsiderate customers.
aww ken is adorable! i’m becoming a big fan of ol’ whats-his-face
Awww, sad Ken is kind of adorable.
Malaya, stop being a butt.
Well, at least she agreed to work for one day.
And then one day will turn into two days, which will turn into one month, which will become one year…
And then… HER SOUL
Sounds like Wal-mart
No, Wal-Mart wants your soul at the 30-day mark, or first paycheck, whichever comes first.
Ken, hold out for a girl who wants to earn an income….don’t enable the lazy!
No, no, a girl who wants to earn a livable income- that ain’t happening in retail
Nothing wrong with working a minimum wage job while looking for a full time job. Especially if you can’t pay your rent.
…but if she is making ANY income she can contribute to RENT and GROCERIES and UTILITIES…instead of mooching off the other room mates.
If she can be bothered to be more than a cashier, there are opportunities to make more money
Malaya to quote Inigo Montoya: “you keep using that word. i don’t think it means what you think it means.” but seriously, we’ve seen her in like three comics and she’s probably swore as much as some characters since SP! started
i should probably call this something like SP!’d so i don’t confuse anyone who reads something positive
I usually abbr. [i]Something Positive[/i] as [i]S*P[/i] or use the acronym [i]SomPos[/i].
I usually abbr. Something Positive as S*P or use the acronym SomPos.
Sorry for the coding error.
actually, I think it was Fezzik who said it.
Nope, it was Inigo. Fezzik was rather silent at that point. Probably worn out from carrying three people up a cliff.
*is back from checking*
Heck, you’re right. Whatever happened to my famous movie-quote memory? I must be getting really old…
you just havent seen the movie recently enough
I’m curious about Malaya. She’s apparently been out of work for six months, but apparently has yet to stoop to retail level. Possibly this means she’s just a procrastinator and doesn’t want to work at all. She seems kind of easy to push into things despite her what she says, though.
Yeah, Malaya is a jerk, but who isnt’ a jerk to some degree in this strip.
Though, it’s good to see some character development for Ken, he was kind of shelved, nice to see him do something for a change, latest strips have been about Robin.
Yeah, I like when Willis focuses on the secondary characters, outside the “big 3″ of Ethan, Robin and Amber. Not that I don’t like them, I just don’t need to see them all the time.
Mike is the exception. He should be everywhere, at all times.
I vote Mike just start being in the background of at least panel of every strip that he’s not really in glaring at the reader with cold, unforgiving eyes.
It could even become a terrifying version of Where’s Waldo!
It’s not enough that he is always doing that from the banner at the top of the page?
Mike is everywhere at all times. Especially behind you. Especially now.
This is why I tend to sit with my back against a wall.
When he’s not behind your mom, that is.
Not gonna lie, I turned and looked just now.
Even though it’s months after that was posted.
…As if that would make a difference…
I turned and looked now, almost two years later, even though I’m in the very back seat of a bus. What’s wrong with me?
What colorful language she uses.
Noticed that too, huh?
It makes her edgy and Real!
Just like Jersey Shore! Oh, wait…
man if you think that’s colorful, wait ’til she unleashes the filipino swears
I honestly didn’t notice.
Ken should just buy Malaya a “Green Cola” and tell her to chill. Now that’s she’s put on the vest, there’s no escape unless she can sire Galasso an heir.
And if she can, well, that’d be an interesting new direction for this strip, I must say.
And after her one day, she’ll love it or something… please say you’re not using this overused trope… please say I’m wrong.
I’d be surprised if she doesn’t end up hating the place more at the endo fo the day.
That’s what I want to see… hatred related hijinks… and I should probably have more faith in Willis’s writing ability, but I’ve just seen this set up far too often: “Oh I hate it, I hate it.” … later on … “I LOVE THIS PLACE”.
Is it just me, or is Malaya a total tsundere?
That, by the way, is a totally awesome thing.
WAAAAAY too early to see if she’s got any dere dere in her. So far, she’s just got the whole hatred going for her. And it wouldn’t surprise me if she never softens, for that matter.
I’m liking Malaya, though my sexual interest has shifted.
Now I want Ken.
The Nine stages of cursing:
1. Young Youth: “Those are bad words!”
2. Mid-childhood: “WOOOOAH! You said a naughty word! You’re cool!”
3. Teenager: “Nobody cares if I say butt or crap anymore. I’ll say Fuck to be edgy!”
4. Late teen: “I’m going to write pokemon fanfiction and have Ash say “fuck” a lot.”
5. Young adult: “Fuckin’ ash-shitty fuckballs of fucking fuck! That movie will shitfuck your fuck! I’m cool, right?”
6. No-Longer-Young-But-Not-Midlde-Aged adult: “Cursing is unprofessional and undignified, and I can’t do it in front of my kids, anyway. ”
7. Middle-aged: “Kids, stop saying Bad Words. You never see me cursing, do you?”
8. Upper Middle-Aged: “Kids these days cuss all the time. No respect for their elders.”
9. Old Man: “Fuckin’ fuckers think they’re fuckin gonna fuckin fight about fuckin haircuts and I hate fuckin old… hey grandson, Imma buy you a fuckin whore. You need to become a fuckin MAN!”
I think there’s a stage between 5 and 6 where you swear casually and don’t think anything of it.
Aw damn, I knew I foirgot something!
I went straight from stage 5.5 to 9… except in the presence of my nephew. Because he repeats EVERYTHING.
My brother-in-law must be stuck in Young Adult mode then, he says “fuck/fucking” the same way Valley Girls like to say “Like Totally”.
I think I forgot to do four and five. Am I missing out?
Yes, join the army, you will catch up fast. Seriously, when I am in uniform, I just switch into swearing every second word mode and don’t even notice it.
Doonesbury, circa 1st Gulf War:
National Guardsman: I’ve been [a civilian] for so long I don’t even remember how to use the F-word properly.
Guardsman 2: Oh, that’s easy – just like a comma.
ZOMFG WILLIS SHE’S SUCH A BITCH KILL HER OFF PLEASE UGH.
/sarcasm
(I’m astonished nobody’s said it yet, especially based on some of the comments on recent comics.)
Nobody said it coz it’s getting old.
Its OK for her to be a complaining bitch, it only gets bad if she ends up as The Scrappy and no one wants that to be the case. (This is assuming that you don’t already view her as one.)
The comments are based off the thusfar negative portrayal she’s had as opposed to an arbitrary dislike.
I don’t know about you guys, but I get this vibe that Malaya may already be dating Arnold, which makes me feel more sorry about Ken.
Sure she’s a jerk , but that means she will fit right in. Then again, I find Faz totally amusing despite his greasiness so I’m biased.
She just got interviewed by a mild mannered dominatrix to accept a job among a man who’s ego fluctuates between “Holier than thou” and “God Complex”, a pathologically inconsiderate dementia patient, Mike, Faz, Ultracar (will eventually lead the robot uprising to get back at daddy), the one who always brings her personal problems into the work place, all working under a megalomaniac.
Yeah, She should fit in just fine
I like that Faz and Mike don’t get issues associated with them.
They’re Mike and Faz. Nothing else needs to be said.
They get a separate page (each); click on their names.
That’s why she is perfect for this job, she brings a new element to the workplace.
Wow. Malaya sure does like to drop the F-Bomb. If foul language is going to be her thing, lets get a few S-words & A-words in there as well. Maybe een a Q-word, just to mix things up.
(Okay, so my education on foul language is lacking.)
Quite.
Pardon my French.
Malaya belongs on the British series “The Thick of It” with a pottymouth as bad as hers.
the last line makes me wonder who Ken actually considers racist.
I wondered that myself. The only one I can think of right away who he might be consider racist are Galasso (who hired him entirely because of his asianness, and told him so) and possibly Amber. But mostly Galasso. I don’t think anyone else has even paid him the slightest bit of attention enough for him to think of them as racist.
Ninja Rick’s oddball ideas about Japan could be considered racist.
Maybe, but more of a ninja otaku who lost most sense of reality than a true racist.
Mike probably said something.
Not racist unless your mom is an entire race.
But, you know, she’s big enough to make that mistake.
I take it Malaya is a closet geek? I can see a strip, or two where Malaya goes something like this, “Okay, okay, so I like *insert geeky thing here* damn it! Just do not tell everybody you know!”
So…how long until Malaya becomes a love interest for Robin?
Green Cola? a meta reference on various colored vending machines in the background of webcomics.
Maybe not.
As someone who’s worked a crappy job he hates to put food on the table, I must say this: get the hell over yourself, Malaya.You’ve been unemployed for 6 months, and it doesn’t matter whether that’s because you refuse to look or no one wants to hire you. You finally have a chance to be useful and bring in some income. The fact that you’re trying turn it down because you’re “too good” to work at a toy store is pathetic and selfish.
So what about her has Ken so inticed in bringing her to work. Is it the way she tries to avoid any sort of responsibility. Or perhaps the way she seems to rarely consider the feelings of others? Or is it how she come up with offensive lies to tell other people for no real reason? Or maybe its the way she can say fuck repeatedly… Seriously Ken, not much is known about you, but dude, you can do better.
Who’s this “Ken” you’re talking about?
Just maybe, like, half.
Who want to run a betting pool how long until she has her first same-sex experience. My bet 50 strips TOPS.
I’ll take that bet, i am willing to wager that because Willis has made fun of comics where everyone became lesbians before that she may have a chance.
Nice try Nex, IN YOUR FACE!!!!!!
Asian on Lesbian action with poor Robin watching, and Ethan completely oblivious because of a new transformer(and being gay of course). Or Faz’s mom for a nickel with Amber’s penis.
I hope Willis messes with everyone and it turns out Ken is already with Arnold and is just trying to get Malaya the job because she’s his cousin or something
oh shit, ken is getting character development, bout time
I think this is the part where I add ‘being colored doesn’t give you the right to be a moronic jackass without consequences’.
Because clearly her ethnicity in some way enters into this.