Lookit me, poking the bear because I’m stupid.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
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I knew one NASCAR fan who wasn’t a redneck.
He was a hillbilly.
And the stereo system in his vehicle was stolen by a bionically-augmented pack rat.
I know others who aren’t rednecks. They’re bogans.
Basically the same thing, just they’re Australians.
I have never known a nascar fan.
Wow, I knew Faz had gotten dumber over the years, but this is even worse than I imagined. He must get a new concussion every time Mike beats him up.
That’s how Mike knows he’s doing it right – the more concussed Faz is, the better.
Nah, he’s just not a stereotype; he’s an Asian kid that’s bad at math!
I can’t think of another reason that not a single person likes his charts. The percentages of the Pie charts are all off, and other such things that he makes up to pretend that he’s not terrible at it.
Pour not pore, unless it’s just because he’s Faz, then whatever.
No, it’s pore: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pore
I think we might have another one for the Eggcorn Database.
You are 100% wrong sadly.
“Pore” is the correct one in this case.
Actually, no. Pore is correct. In this context it is a verb meaning “to study closely,” and not a polite noun for a face-hole that constantly weeps sweat and oils.
The more you know.
/star flies over his head
And knowing is half the battle!
The other half being red lasers and blue lasers.
And horrible marksmanship skills.
What can I say, we were trained by the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy.
I can’t believe I’m going to do this, but, AWAY FROM HIM! Dino-Thunder Megaligo! *Swoops in and saves him from a possible death*
what
Umm…kay…
HURRAY FOR TIM! {everything else was too long to say}
Nascar fans are a race now?
Good catch. Prejudiced would be correct word.
Nascar fans aren’t smart enough to know the difference.
Wow. Just wow. Let the prejudice continue.
Will do!
You wanna say that to mah NASCAR fan face, boy? Get runnin, I’mma comin’ guns blazin.
(Had to. But no worries, this comic is hilarious, and I LIKE Nascar.)
What happens if he turns right?
Ratings.
While yes, the vast majority of races are four left turns and a bare down, NASCAR has four “Road Courses”, which have both left and right turns. So if he turns right, probably on one of the road courses, unless, of course, he’s not……
Neither is “redneck” a race. It might be a trait, but it’s not a race.
Depends on how much longer they’re allowed to inbreed.
Man, I think I offended myself with that joke.
Actually, redneck is a perjorative term derived from redlegs, a name given by British overlords to Irish slaves that were forcibly transported to Barbados after England’s conquest of Ireland. The fact that the term goes over without any resistance or that some people self-describe as such is mindboggling and surely a sign that they don’t teach nearly enough history anymore.
Southern, nearly half Irish, but nobody’s redneck,
Doom!
Self-describing as the jerky thing your enemies implement to regard you derisively is basically what humans do best. It’s not really mindboggling. It’s commonplace. I mean, c’mon, we have a baseball team called the Yankees. If you’re using the word and you’re not an American, it’s a term of condescension, not endearment. See also: certain terrible words I shouldn’t employ, being a white straight Protestant-raised male.
Like, say, “porch monkey”?
I’M TAKIN IT BACK
It can’t be saved, Sam! The sole purpose for its creation, the only reason it exists in the first place, is to disparage an entire race!
‘yankee is a perjorative even to folks from the US….of course its missing its prefix……
ton a them d—yankees comin south……opportunistic carpetbaggers!
Dunno about you, but I live in the south and everyone’s always told me the term comes from dealing with farmers and sharecroppers who spend most of the day bent over with only their neck facing the sun.
No. But do you want to tell that to the NASCAR lynch mob?
racist is just short for racing enthusiast.
They prefer the term NASCAR Americans thank you very much.
Redneck Nascar fans suck.
Saying “I’m gay” to Nascar people probably not the smartest move
Yeah the correct term is “male Jeff Gordan Fan.” Of course that would get you beaten up too.
Anyway while I’m not a nascar fan my step father is and I have actually have a lot of respect for the “sport” now.
he’s just letting them know how ironic it is that they are about to perform a hate crime as retribution on someone being prejudiced(racist?).
I wasn’t aware “Nascar Fan” was a race.
Okay, Nascar itself is a race, but not…the kind of…know what? Never mind.
Wait, as a NASCAR fan, I have to hate Willis now? Do I have to?
(sigh) Alright. Getchir runnin’ britches on, funnybook boy. I’ma make them glassis y’wears inta sum sorta lyter fer tha smokes I dun stole from ma cuzin Daryl.
(fetches whoopass stick)
Thank you for making my day.
Now I want to hear Ethan refer to Drew as his “whoopass stick.”
Oh lord. XD
You just turned something that made me giggle into a need for brain bleach….
The correct venacular is “Damn You Willis”- no need to stretch it beyond that.
It just occurred to me that the only NASCAR fan I know is a nineteen-year-old girl from suburban Connecticut whose other interests include the dramatic arts, nail polish, and the color pink.
Pink is an interest?
When it’s not a hobby or a full time job, yes.
Don’t be silly. Pink is a number, because if you multiply pink by cow and take the square root of the resulting ostrich, you get five!
As someone who is not from America, I just don’t see the appeal of cars going around in circles 100 or so times. At least in F-1, the tracks are a bit more challenging.
AMUHRRICA!
As an American I don’t understand the appeal of cars making left turns for hours either.
Well, to be brutally honest, I’m amazed that they haven’t eliminated road courses from NASCAR fare entirely. It’s too dangerous with technology now. The current stock car is a 3400-pound, 865-hp monster with 530 lb-ft of torque. And since NASCAR officials INSIST on keeping the recirculating ball steering system, they have a nasty case of understeer. So road courses are very dangerous for stock cars to race on.
NASCAR is like baseball (and soccer?); unfit to watch on TV, but, if you take a bunch of friends and refreshments, you can have a fun time in the stands.
Plenty of the people that love oval track racing love road course racing as well. F1 was poised to make a big move in America when the USGP was in Indianapolis, but Bernie Ecclestone pulled all but a few cars at the last race (2006?) so that was ruined. We will, however, applaud any and all backroad runs performed by the Duke boys. Preferably with bridge jumps.
I realize you already established that you are a NASCAR fan.. but damn. If being a NASCAR fan was considered nerdy, then you just nerded right the fuck out.
I was actually going to get into why America became a home for speedway racing, puling stock cars away from the beaches of Daytona and backroads of NC, but I thought I should leave things well enough alone.
The folks of Shortpacked County hadn’t seen a post like that for high onto fifteen years.
Totally thought you said “oral track” at first.
While I cannot explain the love of it I can explain it’s origins which kind of explains it. NASCAR was founded by moonshine runners during prohibition and that would race to see who has the fastest car.
Essentially Driving with constant left turns was founded by drunks who drank the home brewed paint stripper that they call alcohol.
I guess the appeal is that everything sounds like a good idea when you’re drunk.
Well, NASCAR does have some road tracks, but not many.
Aizat, there are advantages.
One is it’s very easy for a spectator to see the entire track on an oval, and thus all the action. There are ‘blind spots’ on most dedicated road courses and all street courses, regardless of where you sit. Sure, you could watch jumbotrons, but then why not just watch TV at home.
F1 doesn’t come here any more, and only made 1 trip a year when it did. It’s much easier to be interested in something when you can actually see it. NASCAR sanctions 36 races on over 20 tracks, and that’s just at the premier ‘Cup’ level. NASCAR’s two national developmental series run another 60 races between them.
NASCAR doesn’t have ‘team orders’. I’ve seen F1 races where the secondary driver has pulled over to let the primary one get by for the win. NASCAR teams may field multiple cars, but none of those drivers are going to move over for each other, even when one of the other drivers is also the owner of the team.
NASCAR races are longer and the tickets cost less than F1; as a fan, I get more racing for my money. With 43 cars in a race, there are more drivers to choose between.
‘Stock cars’ are physically larger than open wheeled vehicles. This means there’s more space for paint schemes and especially car numbers. Also, since NASCAR team cars are rarely sponsored by the same company. All this makes it easy tell cars apart, especially for casual viewers of those new to racing.
None of this is a knock on F1, IRL, or other forms of racing; I’m just pointing out some of the reasons I prefer stock cars on ovals. I can watch almost form of motorsports. Well, maybe not drag racing; my attention span is too short for that.
My math teacher was a hardcore Nascar fan–and the best math teacher in the school. We could get extra credit but guessing the placers for the next race. The only one I knew until I went to college.
I thought all Nascar Fans loving racing so much that they were basically racists.
Hehe.
http://www.pvponline.com/2010/06/04/the-race-card/
Quick, Ethan! Turn right, they won’t be able to catch you!
*COUGHWATKINSGLENINTERNATIONALCOUGH*
Love that Faz would split a 25,000 reward for Mike selling him a 150,000 projector.
I don’t think this is racist so much as culturist.
As a Nascar fan I find this whole thing hilarious. *lights a candle in her Mark Martin shrine*
Mark Martin will forever be the greatest NASCAR driver to never win a championship.
He’s come close so many times…
A sure-fire Hall of Famer, assuming he ever quits!
That’s a great, question, Ethan, and one I was pondering myself. Maybe they all drove up from Gilroy and Hollister.
Skids and Muddflap didn’t offend me, but they did annoy me. Someone probably should have paused before putting a group of characters called “The NASCAR wreckers trio” in, well, anything.
They aren’t called the NASCAR Wreckers Trio, they’re called the Wreckers. It’s just that there are a lot of other groups of Transformers called the Wreckers, so people attach a few descriptors to make it clear which Wreckers they mean.
Meanwhile, today’s strip sports a banner advert from Cadillac.
Where are these NASCAR fans arguing with Willis? And where can we see it?
The blog entries recently about NASCAR theme Transformers toys.
“Thought they were racist did you? Well I could try to write a compelling story, from which multi dimensional characters arise naturally from the creative process. Maybe I could try to experience more cultures and peoples to better equip myself to write characters of any ethnic or cultural backgrounds. Or perhaps I can surround myself with peoples of varied backgrounds who can see and stop me when I make a stereotypical character… Fuck it. I’ll balance it out with rednecks.” – My interpretation of Michael Bay’s creative process. It may be a a little hyperbole, in that he doesn’t have one to begin with.
Not enough explosions.
Who says the it was Bay’s idea to make the wreckers that way? Why the hell does everyone always blame Bay for anything bad in the movies!?
He’s the director. That means he’s in charge. If he’s not in charge, he’s a bad director. That’s not to say that Bay sits down and hand-draws every Transformer design, but he approves everything. He goes through the script, stages scenes, and then pores through every last microsecond of the film in post. Saying that stuff in a movie he directed is outside of his control is absolutely ridiculous.
Well, there are external pressures. Producers and studio execs wanting to make sure the movies do well. Hasbro execs wanting to make sure the movies promote the toys well. Having seen other Bay movies, I have a hard time believing some of the bigger faults of his Transformers movies aren’t his fault, I’ll grant you, but even so saying he has complete creative control isn’t accurate.
Damn NASCAR. At least I live in Los Angeles, where we don’t have any sort of car culture at all …
The nearest thing to NASCAR we have is the V8 Super Cars but even then, the track isn’t just a ring.
Theory: The reason so many NASCAR fans are in the store right now is due to a release of a limited edition NASCAR model, am I right?
Frankly, I find NASCAR stereotype less offensive to the Black Stereotypes that were in the previous films but… Why does Bay need to keep trying to give the supporting transformers racially driven personalities? I mean, that’s not something they usually do in the cartoons is it?
Supporting Transformers with racially different personalities, I don’t think so but offensively named country does exist in the G1 cartoon. Carbombya, anyone?
Because the Star Wars prequels had crappy numbers, from a regal pount of veeoo.
Ironhide and Jazz I can name from G1 right off the bat.
But weren’t Ironhide and Jazz black sounding because of voice actors, not because of the character design and dialogue written specifically for them?
G1 Ironhide isn’t black. He sounded southern, and he was voiced by Peter Cullen, the same guy who does Optimus Prime.
Yep, and his voice in the movies is the voice of Wacko Warner, Jess Harnell.
Nascar fans in a toy store caring about what some guy in a toy store thinks about Transformers and being violent about it? Yeah. Bullshit.
Now those old slot-car racer guys that hang out in front of HobbyTown? Those guys are scary.
All I can imagine is a cartoon of Topspin, Roadbuster, and Leadfoot being observed bein’ good ol’ bots by Crankcase and Crowbar, who are remarking along the lines of, “Jah, dat be so reecest, mon.” …Of course, I wonder if the Dreads would end up instead being more like stereotypical Predator aliens…
And, of course, I’m totally clueless as to what started all this, namely, what are the twins stereotypes of, that they had to be removed from the movie (which I’ll never watch.)?
The twins were designed with ministrel show blackface…uh… faces, talked in “Gangsta” and couldn’t read.
That they can’t read is a common misconception. They couldn’t read the Ancient Language of the Primes. But nobody can read that. Can you read Sumerian?
True, but the way the line is delivered and the over all uneducated manner the twins are presented lead most people to assume the worst case scenario, which you can’t really blame the casual audience member for making that assumption.
Many people saw Skids and Mudflap, mainly because of their “street” talk, as being stereotypes of inner city African Americans. Their professed illiteracy doesn’t exactly help. But supposedly, they’re not. They’re supposed to be parodies of white suburban teenagers trying to sound like “gangstas.” But even then, there’s a lot of passing the buck about who’s responsible.
According to the Transformers Wiki, the writers claim they were just following Michael Bay’s instructions when they wrote the twins’ dialogue. Bay claims the voice actors (one of whom IS African American) came up with Skids and Mudflap’s act. Imagine Reno Wilson’s — the afore mentioned black voice actor — shock that he apparently offended himself as Mudflap!
As for Roadbuster, Leadfoot and Topspin, I down know. I live in New England, and I know plenty of Nascar fans, including my parents and my brother. So I down think of it as a white southern hillbilly thing. I can see the visual cues in their appearance, but I say wait and see how they act and sound in the movie before you write them off as bad stereotypes.
One thing though, it’s funny when you realize that in the movie continuity, the Autobots supposedly gained these speech patterns by studying the Internet. So it’s like, these guys were watching videos on YouTube and decided: “That’s it Prime! That’s the way I want to sound when I talk to the humans! Like the guy in that video!”
In Tr2, the two little autobots (who fought devastator, i.e., the construction equipment combination one) This clip might help jog the memory http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3o88DOj94I&feature=related
Well, as the previous guys mentioned, their personalities were offensively over the top black stereotypes combining modern day gangster/ghetto characteristics with racist characteristics associated with Black face (i.e. poor education, bumbling, loud and obnoxious, etc… ).
There was also the visual designs which came off as offensive looking due to the exaggerated style of their faces such as big “lips”, big “ears”, large buck teeth covered in cold, and expressions that made them look dumb and uneducated as opposed to the other transformers. These are also associated with Black Face and negative African American stereotypes.
http://harryallen.info/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/rotf-skids-head.jpg
http://www.tarstarkas.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/53_71646_95d46c105f50f0c.jpg
We need a new racist transformer named Crackertron. “Damn polar-bots. I say we just send ‘em all back to Iacon. Yyyyup. “
Kraivex: http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Revenge_of_the_Fallen_(film)#Controversies
Personally, I find the whole “The twins are racist caricatures” thought highly offensive in itself. It’s a gross misunderstanding of why stereotypes are bad, and turns “You are not allowed to portray people in a certain way to degrade people of their kind” into “You are not allowed to have certain kinds of people in the media, full stop”.
Which is the exact opposite of equality.
Cool! I had no idea it was ‘pore’, not ‘pour’. Sweet. The more you knooooooow… *rainbows!*
Also, a hint of advice for Ethan: It’s probably best if you don’t tell the anti-prettymucheverythingthat’snotNascarandthe’countryvalues’ enthusiasts that your gay. Seriously, it only makes things worse.
I am a NASCAR fan. I was born in California, grew up in Miami,I’m Jewish, went to UM, have degree in Computer Science. If you actually want to attend a race these days, you have to have a significant amount of cash. If you want to be a SERIOUS fan you practically have to be a rocket scientist to understand the aerodynamics and fuel systems.
However, I don’t believe in political correctness so please continue. After all most of time it’s jokes about adults who collect toys that are supposedly for kids. (Not that anyone but a sadist would give a DOTM toy to anyone under 13. Go on try to transform it. Talk about rocket science.)
Remember, there are only two kinds of people who attend NASCAR races:
Foul-mouthed, tattooed, shirtless drunks,
and their boyfriends!
Honestly, I’m a big NASCAR fan and I find the redneck stereo-type to be hilarious. Some people just can’t laugh at themselves.
I’m offended that there are nae bots wi’ a good Scottish brrrrrrrogue.
I agree. More Scottish brogue needed, with plenty of rolled rrrrrrrrs.
The Transformers who reside on Gigantion the Giant Planet all speak with Scottish accents.
http://tfwiki.net/wiki/Gigantion
Ayyyye.
“Racist”? Wait is that guy saying that NASCAR fan is a race or that Redneck is a race?
When did “racist” replace “prejudiced” in our cultural lexicon anyway?
probably around the same time that prejudice against caucasian individuals was deemed to be reverse racism. If I ever find the person that coined that phrase I’m going to cut their heart out with a spoon.
I love it when white people think they’re oppressed.
It’s so silly.
There’s a difference between ‘oppressed’ and ‘discriminated against’. The first? Not so much? The second? Much more likely.
In some circles, “poking the bear” means something completely different.
I think we all missed the very important subtext that Willis just said he was poking bears. I always knew you were gay! #justkidding
It all seems to come back to that FL law this week, doesn’t it?
If episodes of The Rockford Files, Knight Rider and The A-Team are any indication, California is full of rednecks.
ALOT of rednecks in the Bay Area. In my hometown, just 15 minutes or so from SF, people pretty frequently flew the Confederate flag until about 1990 or so. And if you were alternative at all, you could expect bottle thrown at you, and the occasional pot-shot by some hillbillies in their pic up trucks.
Less in SF proper, but still quite a few.
So now they’ve put in redneck Transformers. Perfect. Yet more reason for me to never, ever watch this movie (I couldn’t even make it through the second one with Rifftrax for fuck’s sake).
Nobody seemed to bat an eye whenever AHHRNHHAAAAHHD drawled out some hot-tempered, slurred threat out of his grits-hole.
So the twins aren’t in the movie at all? Then…why is there a Skids figure under the ‘Dark of the Moon’ toyline at my workplace? >_>
Hasbro (and Chevy) expect them to be in the movie, but Bay’s a fickle bitch!
(Heck, Hasbro didn’t even know Optimus Prime had an awesome sword until they saw the screenings of the first movie. They’re not really in the loop!)
Huh. Well ain’t that a bitch.
…Also, did I just get censored for saying moon?!
Long story. Will explain later! (it’s funny)
….fuck! I’m caught up…now what?
Get married?
I miss when it was understood that we were making fun of -cultures-, of which any race can belong, and not races.
Oh that hasn’t happened yet.. I’m nostalgic for the future again.
Just one more question: Does the name “Topspin” necessarily mean anything in the context of auto racing? I always thought the term was used primarily for ball sports (steady…). Roadbuster and Leadfoot I can definitely see…
Governor Haslam has just signed the “Don’t Say Gay” Bill into law. So Willis, I beseech you, from this day forth please show the illbred and uncultured rednecks of the State of Tennessee a total absense of quarter and mercy. Thank you in advance.
Wow. This one sure brought in a lot of comments.
Holy crap, my mind boggles at the amount of people who seriously thought they needed to school everyone on the fact that rednecks aren’t a race. Look, sometimes if someone says “I hate bananas” or something, I’ll be like, “you’re racist against bananas!” But I seriously know bananas aren’t a race. It’s like, a joke. You know?
Hey! Whoa there buddy! You got something against us bananafolks? Cuz I’ll have you know I’m half banana and proud of it!
“Banana” is also a slur for Americanized second-generation asian immigrants. You know, yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
As John Schneider says in one of his songs (Yes…he’s a singer!) The redneck is the backbone of America.
It needs to be shared: http://youtu.be/RovF1zsDoeM
Avenue Q “Everyone’s a little bit racist”
Ugh, that fucking song UTTERLY misconstrues the causes and nature of racism. I love Avenue Q, but that song is DEAD wrong. Racism is an institutional oppression of racial minorities. “Ethnic jokes” and stereotypes aren’t cool (enough with the “based on truth” BS), and being “PC” isn’t what really keeps racism going.
/rant
You’re not racist, you just come from a different culture!
You _______ are so sensitive. *roll-eyes emoticon*
And no one has stopped to point out two things yet?
One, they’re not rednecks. They’re british. Topspin’s “mullet” is a powdered wig.
Two, they’re the motherfucking Warriors Three, man. That alone makes them fucking awesome. Leadfoot is Volstagg, Topspin is Hogun and Roadbuster is Fandral. You cannot unsee.
Stereotype? Marantz!
I’m confused. I saw that movie, and Skids and Mudflap ARE in it.
Well, far far in the background in vehicle mode in one brief scene, if you squint.
(The wager was if they “performed” in the movie, anyway, which I’d imagine involves robot modes and talking and maybe not being fewer than two millimeters tall on the screen.)