Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
Tags
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conquest
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drew
duncan
ethan
faz
galasso
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justice league
ken
leslie
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©2005-2013 David Willis | Powered by WordPress with ComicPress | Subscribe: RSS | Back to Top ↑
WAY TO HAGGLE
Of course she can have his heir. Just have sex with him. But Mike might go on a killing spree rage
To “sire his heir” means to impregnate his daughter. That’s why they use the term “sire”. So she’s right, she couldn’t do that.
Now Mike will knock her up with twins
That would be one way to do it.
Of course, what happens if she only has one child?
Maybe that’s what she’s planning.
I suspect the plan is ‘no babies ever’, and the ‘second born’ clause was just included as a hedge against that plan going awry.
A year and a half later, this comment seems to have been completely correct.
Totally, and then she can work on overthrowing Galasso. With her as assistant manager and Mike as the protector, this will be quite interesting. Love the twist there.
Parenting. Mike is gonna need alot of booze.
this is going to blow up in her face.
i forsee Faz.
Look at Amber being all not mouse like.
Negotiations be aggressive, yo!
Yeah, but the assistant manager position better come with one HELL of a pay raise if you’re going to sell your second child for it.
I wonder if she will count her hamsters as children.
makes me also wonder if she’d barter one of her hamsters’ lives for a promotion.
NOT THE HAM HAMS!!!!!!!
Appropriate avatar is appropriate
Oh my.
This comment is win if you read it in a George Takei voice.
Pretty sure that’s any comment in any comic. xD
I’m now reading all the comments in Takei’s voice. My day just got significantly better and i thank you all for it.
Amber has balls now, she’s going to inherit the entire store. AND THEN THE WORLD.
So she could sire him an heir? You know, with her … no wait, wrong comic.
Well looks like SOME of Roz’s lessons are sticking. He didn’t keep insisting on it. Tho he could have said “Who said I meant with Conquest?”
Being the donor of the sperm is inherent in the word ‘sire’. (Unless Amber and Galasso are vampires, and Gal’s trying to tell her to go out and turn a random person to be his heir. Somehow I suspect not, however.)
Inb4amberhastriplets.
No matter how hard I try to read your comment, all I see is “Amber, let’s strip. Ha!”.
Go Amber! I’m guessing she doesn’t plan to have kids.
Quite possible. I know quite a few marriages that choose to not have children.
Or maybe she’ll just have one. There are proceedures to ensure there is only one and not twins.
I also know more marriages/couples where the people insisted they absolutely didn’t want kids definitely never ever ever oh we’ve changed our minds.
(I’m curious as to this procedure that stops twins. How would that work, apart from aborting one of them?)
Fuse them into conjoined twins? Or is that a bit too “mad science”?
Someone break out the magical earrings.
Or maybe Amber is Berg Katse’s mother? That would explain a lot about Katse, actually . . .
Since she haggled to her second born I think she does want a kid at least. If she was planning on never having kids then hey offer him your first born child.
Perhaps, but this way if she accidently does have one kid she won’t have to automatically give it up.
even if she does have a child, if its with mike the world will fall before that mighty infant anti-christ before she had time to make a second born
Amber could sire a heir now that she grew those balls.
So how does it feel to have won an Internet?
I want to see her and Conquest make an heir. Just to see Faz’s face…
I suspect Faz’s expression on seeing that would be the same empty smile he always has.
And now I’ve creeped myself out…
This comic isn’t about toys! It isn’t about toys AT ALL!!
ha ha.
For some unconscious reason, Galasso in the fifth panel makes me think of Charlie Brown.
Ugh. Just got the image of Amber having Galasso’s babies.
* reaches for the brain bleach
Why did you post that comment!
Why did you have to post that comment
Think of it this way – at least things can’t possibly get any wor – oh god i just imagined a baby girl with Galasso’s head why did I say that
DAMN YOU WILLIS!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!
Looks for the brain-bleach
Wow… Amber just took control. That was awesome!
good for her. mike has really been a good influence on her…holy sh!t, i almost can’t believe i wrote that, true or not
I guess Galasso is still unclear of the birds and the bees. He could’ve demanded she sire him an heir by coupling with him.
You can’t “sire” an heir no matter the context as a female because it’s a verb intended for males. To be pedantic.
I can’t wait for this to come back up in a couple of years.
Wait new chapter?
I wonder if Shortpacked will get a new female employee.
I really enjoyed Galasso’s thinking silence in those two panels.
Mwahaha! What Galasso doesn’t know is: There won’t BE a second born!
God, I wish getting a promotion in retail was that easy.
So should we be proud of her for having guts or terrified that she is speaking fluent Galassonese?
I CANNOT DECIDE
Dude, is Mike going to show any emotion about this? I’m really curious
Is that how he got his existing daughter?
Worth it. Totally worth it.
I want you all to imagine the existence of a child fathered by Mike and then raised by Galasso.
The Walkyverse is doomed. All universes are doomed. The stars are going out…
It’s not the fathered by Mike part that terrifies me, it’s Amber as the mother!
Ummmm… If Amber’s assistant manager, won’t that throw a kink in her relationship with Mike? Fraternization between a manager and an employee is restricted in most retail establishments, though I have no idea of Shortpacked’s rules on that.
The current management is known for demanding that employees copulate with his daughter. I don’t think he’s going to be too bothered.
I’d hate to say this, but I will be dropping Shortpacked! as of now. Most of the characters have become unlikable and it’s just not interesting me anymore.
Thanks for the ride! But this is my stop.
Bye!
AND NOT A SINGLE FUCK WAS GIVEN THAT DAY
I don’t normally say this, but you won yourself an internet. I’m totally stealing that line, by the way.
It’s actually already a meme. Google it and you’ll find many image macros with that line.
That was a sterling example of its use, though.
I’m not sure if I feel better or worse about stealing it, now.
…Door… ass… way out… you can fill in the rest, I’m not interested enough.
This is unexpected, but in retrospect, it shouldn’t be. Amber lost most of her fear of Galasso some time ago, and she’s learned to find a balance between the aspect of herself that works hard for others and the aspect of herself that’s sick of taking shit.
I’m assuming Ethan is not currently also an assistant manager, though not quite sure. He’s been promoted to that post, fired, rehired, sorta-promoted to manager, then fired and rehired again, and since the last hiring, he hasn’t exercised his leadership skills much. Most of his energies have been devoted to Drew and to stand-up comedy, and given his experience as manager, he seems to prefer it that way.
Amber’s promotion might inspire a brief surge of resentment in Ethan, or he might immediately celebrate this landmark in her self-realization, but in either case, the event will likely underline to him that such a promotion is not the path he wants any more. And what is his future, then?
In some companies you can have multiple assistant managers.
I guess that Ethan’s and Leslie’s little “sex Ed” class worked; either that, or Gallaso is working everyone over. I find the later a little hard to believe though.
Conquest turned out ok. Seems like a win win to me. Amber gets a promotion. Galasso gets a potential heir. Some lucky kid does NOT have to be raised with Mike as a dad.
I don’t know who’d be worse. Mike is a complete jackass, but he has rather protective instincts. Galasso would probably raise the kid like Damian Wayne.
Though not having Amber’s dad as a grandfather might break the tie.
And I’m not sure I’d classify Conquest as turning out ok. “Not quite as idiotic as initially assumed” is a pretty broad definition of “ok”. And most of her development came when she stopped listening to her dad.
Am I the only one disturbed by the “galasso with an earring” picture in the 4th frame? Galasso’s mother? Perhaps Galasso is an heir himself? :O
That’s no earring, that’s a mullet. Which is probably worse.
That’s no mullet, that’s a SPACE STATION
*gasp!*
interesting turn of events. a bit more amber-centric now, awesomes.
Seriously, how has Galasso not been sued by his employees? “I demand you sire me an heir”, “give me your first born”…?
And Amber… While I applaud her motivation to become a manager, I’m not fond of her giving her second born to Galasso in exchange for the job. First because I myself and a second born, and second… does she REALLY want her own flesh and blood to end up like Conquest or god forbid like Galasso?
Is their anyway he could hold her to it?
It’s a verbal contract, I’m sure she can weasel her way out of it if need be.
I have a feeling she’s either not planning to go through with it, or she’s planning to have one child.
I can’t believe I’m saying this about my previously favourite character, but…
Can Amber be killed off soon, please?
I don’t think we’ve had a death in ShortPacked, yet.
What is your problem with her?
While I found this comic funny, and would not wish death on any character, I think the main thing people are objecting to with Amber is that she feels to be an–overfavored character? After all, Jacob, Faz, Robin, and Mike have all had crushes on Amber, she has a popular character (Mike) in love with her, her father is gone, gotten Hams-hams, took control of her life and it’s her life is going great, and things just keep getting better and better. Considering how bad it use to be, it’s great that things are getting better, but at the same time, readers being readers, get annoyed when a character has so much good fortune especially compared to other characters. Ethan has just faded into the background except to be seen happy in his relationship–with a minor character, Robyn is hated by all, no one seems all that worried about Leslie who has to be wreck, Jacob relapsed, and things just keep better and better for Amber. It’s as if she turned into a demi-character–with the current circumstances and balance of things. Of course, the balance of the way things are always changed quickly, but I hope that makes it clearer.
I don’t think she needs to die, but I do kind of agree with this
Things kept on getting better and better for Robin, too, until about January. Same with Leslie. Mike’s been doing innumerable asshole things for for as long as we’ve known him without any lasting comeuppance, and now he has a live-in girlfriend who adores him despite his incredible faults. And, as you note, things are going reasonably well with Ethan these days.
And the *most recent major storyline for Amber* had her learning Faz is her brother.
So I don’t buy it.
As I said, the balance of things change quickly. If things were still going great for Robyn and Leslie or even gotten a little better, probably there would be less if any resentment. Even then Robyn still had difficulties, with Roz. Just the fact Amber hasn’t had an difficulties since meeting Mike’s parents. *shrugs*
And Mike is Mike. He’s not suppose to get a comeuppance…
Amber *found out Faz was her brother* in the most recent Amber-focused storyline. No difficulties, my ass!
And the idea that something bad has to happen to Amber every single time something bad happens to anybody else in the whole strip, just to make things even, makes my insides churn.
We’ve had the death of Shortpacked!
Seconded. I’ve been wanting Amber to die ever since she blackmailed Mike into dating her. It’s way overdue.
Okay, seriously, why is it whenever someone doesn’t like a fictional character, their first thought is ‘I want this character to die’? Not ‘I want this character to be better-written’, not ‘I want this character to leave the show/comic/movie/etc’ but ‘DEATH!’?
Nobody ever wants the guys to die. It’s only ever the girls.
This always disturbs me.
Uhm… does Faz *not* count as “one of the guys?” Because I remember quite a bunch of people saying they’d like to see him kiboshed.
Personally, I’m waiting for Ninja Rick’s antics to get him deadended in a slicey-dicey manner…
I, personally, applaud the changes that all the characters are going through, David. It means they’re acting like actual humans, people! Get over it. If the cast didn’t, then stories would eventually get stagnant and the seires would suck and probably die off. Does anybody really want that? Geez…
And I’ve pulled the whole “you owe me your 2nd born” thing on a couple peeps I know. They’ve always squelched on paying me before, so it was just a natural progression of “up-ing the ante” and just me trying to be funny. Was shocked when one of ‘em actually signed a “contract” and called (years later) to ask when I was going to “claim what’s mine.” Does this mean I *should* (or would) take the kid? Lol!
- a_o_t_8.
Then how come you’ve always killed off only female characters?
Tony. Head Alien. Big Boss. Beef. Dargon. Professor Doc. Alan. (Walky.) (Mike.)
Also, dozens if not hundreds of Aliens and Martians (insofar as their genders can be determined) and Head Alien multiple times. And more than a few faceless SEMME agents as well.
RIP Squad 42, who was monkeyhumped to death.
Oh and SPOILERS Blaine.
Personally, I’m wishing for the deaths of Gallaso, Mike, Faz and Ninja Rick. But even then it’s just becaue I don’t like seeing them.
I could go either way on Amber, while I never really liked her I was fine with her until the whole blackmailed Mike into dating her thing. That was the line of no return for me. Add that on top of the abusive backstory, which I’m reminded of every time I see her, which was already negatively affecting my view of the character (though I was impressed at how early you’d set it up and how much sense it made) and she’s kind of dead to me now. Fortunately, you’ve added several new and likable characters to the cast during it’s run so I’m still enjoying your comic quite a bit.
Wait, you disliked Amber for being abused? What?
If it makes you feel better, I wouldn’t mind Faz dying!
Since humans are evil, they want to kill anyone they dislike. Normally they hide this desire to give the illusion of being civilized, but with fictional characters they feel no need. </Hornet>
Nice to see that Galasso has the fundamentals of procreation down. Sort of. Now I’m wondering what lengths he’ll go to get her pregnant. Bribe Mike to poke holes in their condoms?
Everytime Galasso speaks I imagine he’s voiced by John DiMaggio, but when he does his more “high class” accent.
I also love that Galasso has Norman Osborne hair.
That’s a deal simply because Galasso is amazed someone’s finally offered him one of their children at all. He’s been trying for years! Now that he’s gotten the first one out of the way, he can get all the others to sign over their children now.
Couldn’t he just adopt a boy and be done with it?
I just wanna go on record as linking Amber more now than before. (And I liked her more than anyone except Ethan already. … Still like Ethan more.)
Assertive Amber is awesome.
Especially when you look back at the older comics where, like she said, she’d hide behind the desk etc. What a difference.
She’s grown a lot, that there’s some good character development.
I approve of this arc as long as Galasso stays in it.
I approve of anything with Galasso in it.
I’m Lokitsu and I approve this message.
Panel 5 Galasso reminds me of Bert from Sesame Street.
“Second-born”…hmmm…might that mean that Amber’s already had a child? Maybe one born and given up for adoption before the strip began. Remember, she said she’d already lost her virginity long before Ethan.
To Whom it May Concern:
Seriously, fuck you guys.
First of all, it takes some gall to tell a writer how to write, let alone which characters to KILL OFF. (Of course the ones you just don’t like.) Petty. Spiteful. Overreact much?
Second, if you hate half the cast, why are you still reading? Does Mike’s immunity to karma piss me off sometimes? Yes, but his brazenness is often wish-fulfillment. You can’t lie and say it’s not. Are Roz and Faz annoying? Of course. they’re supposed to be. Is Galasso’s madness just stupid? Sometimes. Is Ninja Rick funny? Not usually, but he has his moments. Does Willis cross the occasional line into “not funny, just offensive”? Yes.
Is the strip as a whole friggin’ hilarious? Hell yeah.
Look, BSG had a universally despicable cast and I’m willing to bet many of you would go into a fanboy nerdrage at me for saying that. Which means you won’t see my point… (sigh)
Third: ZOMG the sexism! It burns! Especially when combined with the way you guys get so upset every time the mouse peeks her head out of her hole. Back in your place, bitch! Once abused, always abused! It makes me sick, especially having come from an abusive childhood myself. If you didn’t, then you’ll never know how hard it can be to pick yourself up out of that bullshit the first time, let alone the 42nd.
Look, Amber has done some stupid and even reprehensible things and I’m not excusing that, but in this setting there are no saints. There aren’t even any psychologically healthy people. Leslie and Drew are as close as it gets. You take that as it is or you can just quit reading. That’s up to you.
^realtalk^
Cosign!
Thank you, kindly.
I also don’t really realize why people are foaming at the mouth about how morally good/bad these characters are. I think it’s fine for readers to express how they feel or play with how the story can, should, or will unfold.
But telling Willis how to write? Seriously? I finished the whole Roomies! saga recently and I’m actually floored by how Willis has kept this story and these characters going for (in a few cases) nearly half his life. The only thing more astonishing is how a bunch of disembodied voices stroke their e-peens by bashing fictional characters and telling someone how to do their job – worse still, telling a man how to do what he loves.
tl;dr – if you like it, say so. If you like it and have suggestions, offer them respectfully, keeping in mind that DW knows what he’s doing. If you’re going to be a punk about shit you don’t like, GTFO.
that’s the way to bargain with tyrant bosses
(I figure spoilers won’t do much when my comment’s down here, where nobody’ll ever read it)
Recent pregnancy: this all falls into place. What’s to guarantee Amber won’t accidentally get pregnant again? I now rue the day that a li’l Mike clone trains to be Shortpacked’s heir-apparent.
Whoa.
I think what’s more pertinent is the massive foresight Amber displayed in taking her life in account and holding out for the second born.
She wants the job that badly? Huh…..watch her second kid be a girl. That would piss Galasso off.
Eh. Galasso can force her to sire him an heir, then.
Or Amber could just not tell him it’s a chick. Hell, the only reason he knows Conquest is is because her mom made a point of it.
Well, crap.
Amber should just be glad she said second born…
Spoilers
I thinking she going to have twins. Be careful of what you said.
Hm, Pamela tag. Probably the photo from http://www.shortpacked.com/2009/comic/book-9/07-hello-roz-goodbye-reagan/photo/ is the sort of blurry one in the back there.