These are the kind of insane comics that spring from listening to “The Book of Mormon” while playing Mario Galaxy 2.
Just a mite creepy…
My planet will have everyone looking like me. Including the women. They will look like me if I had a nice curvy body. With DD cup boobs.
like in that Aphex Twin video?
It is Your Fault, Google’s Fault, Amazon.com’s fault, and Aphex Twins fault that I vomited in my mouth a little. Plenty of congratulations to go around.
Sounds like you got Windowlicked.
Rimmer? Is that you?
Love the headline on the newspaper.
You know it was just a matter of time… a bush can only take so much.
It is kind of freaky how Mario’s hair is brown yet his moustache is black.
Also, Mario is the great saviour of the Mushroom Kingdom. I can see quite a few similarities. Poor Luigi, the neglected brother.
That’s just how Mario’s been drawn forever.
My dad’s mustache is red, his beard is brown, and his hair is gray.
Consider your mind blown.
My hair is dark blonde, my moustache is light blonde, my beard is red, and my chest hair (what little there is) is black.
I am a mutant!
Or perhaps a calico man…
Dumbest superhero ever… ‘Cept Aquaman; let’s be honest.
Poor Aquaman gets a bad rap. He has super strength on the same level as Wonder Woman, can breath underwater, can control all aquatic life, and thanks to the 90s JLA series that was upgraded to also being able to cause massive mental pain to his enemies through the same telepathic powers.
His big weakness is just that he can’t get too dehydrated, the same weakness Namor has and he’s never gotten the same kind of “Lame” title.
Now Matter-Eater Lad, that was a lame hero.
That’s cuz Namor looks like Lucifer’s cooler brother while Aquaman is blander than a large jar of mayonaise (it’s true – in a bar, women will walk right past Arthur to chat up the jar of mayo) it’s all in the marketing.
Matter Eater Lad is so lame he comes out the other side; he’s hipster cool…tho’ he should really change his name to Eat Boy for full hipster cred.
Can talk to fish and tastes great with tartar sauce
X-Men rejects: The Human Gradient
My god we could be twins.
Brown hair, red beard, black chest, blond limbs. Give me a few decades and I may have grey/white, too.
I was born blonde. My eyebrows stayed that way, the rest turned dark brown.
the different colours are because well its a tupee …….. sorry mario your secrect is out
Dratted Mormons. They really believe that?!?!?
It’s just a wee bit more complicated than that.
Also, regarding the comic itself: I’m super curious how it came to be.
Yes. Yes, they do.
Little bit off actually. I don’t know about the other branches of mormonism. Just like christianity sections break off and whatnot, but The Church Of Jesus Christ, while indeed believing that we can eventually rise to Godhood in the afterlife if we live pure and go through all the rituals during mortal life, still believes that God was just always God.
Minor distinction though, and not really important, as I’m sure it all sounds around the same from the other end.
Well, I assure you, being a Bible believing Christian it’s not the same. But I’m not going to get into that right now.
The God thing is true actually.
I actualy admire mormons in some ways – they believe some quite “magical” stuff happened just a century back. Other believe systems deal with the murky depths of thousands of years ago and it somehow seems “easier” to believe crazy stuff that long ago, compared to crazy stuff going on in the more recent past.
Also, unlike Scientologists, for the most part Mormons arnt actively evil.
Depends on your definition of “evil,” I guess.
The CLDS had a fairly heavy hand across state lines on CA Prop 8 a few years ago.
I’ve a handful of friends who had no shortage of epithets to describe that involvement.
In reference to the proposition 8 fiasco. I apologize on behalf of my fellow mormons sometimes they forget that a couple of our major religious precept are to A) Love one another (Be Tolerant) and B) THE WHOLE REASON WE EXIST IS SO WE CAN “CHOOSE”. that they’re choosing wrong (if thats what you believe) is beside the point. Choice is the KEY to why God sent us to earth. It is THE purpose of our existence. TO take away anyones ability to choose even if you don’t like their choice is to spit upon God’s gift to humanity.
Yes, unless you’re black. Then you get to be the trusted servant to one of these man-gods and keep their universe all tidy.
If I remember right, the reason for this is because they believe dark skin is the Mark of Caine and that all black people are descended from the First Murderer. Can’t remember if they decided to change that, but if they did it was quite recently.
God finally caught up with the times in the 70′s and said it was okay to be black. They’re still the progeny of Cain, they just aren’t being punished for it anymore… or something.
Yeah, keep in mind that the church believes in modern revelation, which functionally serves to allow them to retcon their gospel.
is this because an epic battle with the anti-monitor collapsed the multiverse?
Must… resist… urge… to make… stupid… anti-mormon-tor… pun…
All religious debate should be discussed in terms of comics. Discrepancies? Retcons. Out of character actions on the part of deities? It was a doombot.
one of my friends has a bible filled with highlighted and underlined passages describing people with “mutant powers”.
which is also a misconception because the mark of Cain was a mark of protection from OTHER people.
Actually the reason black people didn’t have the priesthood comes from Canaan, not Cain. If you’ve ever read that one story about Noah being drunk on the ark, Canaan laughs and mocks him. As punishment his priesthood taken away and his family is stripped of it too. (If I remember correctly his wife was dark skinned) So it wasn’t really given, it was restored. (Most Mormons think that it’s from Cain too.)
Or a woman. Don’t forget the women.
Women are equal to men in the mormon religion. They can not hold the priesthood simply because they have been entrusted with other duties by god. Women perform miracle everyday that men could never hope to even with the priest hood. GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. sorry hit nerve.
Dude, no need to get pissy here. As much as it makes sense within the context of the doctrine, and women are treated as equals within the church, you gotta admit “Bestowed with the sacred duty of motherhood” doesn’t exactly smell of women’s rights. lol.
Sorry I hate how people make me out to be a chauvinist pig for being mormon. Unrighteous dominion is wrong and I’ve seen it way to often. Women have more than just the duty of motherhood. They are literally body and soul of the church’s Humanitarian programs. And women bless those around them, not with the priesthood but with their service. Sorry again as you can tell I run into a LOT of anti-mormon sentiment and its REALLY starting to get to me. I know that not necessarily an excuse but perhaps it makes my reaction understandable. I am tired of people judging me when the know NOTHING about me or what it means to BE mormon.
Chiming in for agreement, as a girl raised in the church. Some of the strongest, most independent women I have ever met were lds! And there is a huge misconception about how women are treated in the church by non-members.
Well, I’m sure it helps you feel better to assume everyone who finds any faults in your religion does so simply out of ignorance.
That’s not what they’re saying. Mormons are flawed just like any other person. However many times the conflicts are based on neither side truly understanding the other. Don’t get angry when people try to defend themselves and apologize for giving false impressions.
I guess I better clarify eh? I’m tired of people beating on, insulting and spitting on me. when they know nothing about me or mormonism. This is not to say mormons or mormonism are flawless, and I apologize if that the impression I was giving.
Yay! I don’t have to feel as guilty as I do for reading this webcomic!
That statement is wrong, incorrect (based on inaccurate reports), and ignorant on so many levels. Black people may be descended from Cain and bear hear genetic mark. but for them it is not a curse or a mark of shame it is simply who they are. They are equal to all other people on this planet. And I would personal kick the ever loving crap out of anybody mormon or No who says otherwise were I could hear them.
They really weren’t able to hold the priesthood until sometime around the seventies though. My dad grew up thinking he wouldn’t be allowed to serve the lord or bless his children when he came of age. Let’s not pretend like that chapter of the church’s history didn’t happen, and didn’t end within living memory.
Heck, just a few years ago president monson gave a talk at general conference admonishing the church for racist sentiments that he claimed were beginning to resurface (though which were by no means held by the majority). I really don’t know where you could possibly get the notion that this has never been a part of the church, even if it is no longer the case.
I know mormons are not immune to racism and sometimes the leaders (especially early on) accidentally tended to make policy dictated not by revelation from God but by the tendencies and bias in their lives (remember even prophet are not perfect). I know Racism occasionally ebbs and flows into our lives from year to year or from decade to decade. The ONLY time I’ve ever got into a fist fight with my cousin (and best friend) was when he made an anti-semetic comment. Guess what he never said it again.
…yeah… I want you to sit down for a moment and mull over how much of that is identical to a woman’s role in a nineteenth century culture.
And don’t worry man. I get it. When I and the fellow mormon’s would laugh at the jokes and outrageous things said about us, people would often be surprised. What I’ve always told them is that as a mormon you pretty much either develop a sense of humor about it or spend your life getting bitter and angry every time someone mentions your religion in passing. Personally, the mormons in my city by and large tend towards the former, and we’re often known to be a pretty good natured people because of it, but that’s not the case everywhere or for everyone.
Clearly this kind of stuff upsets you, and that’s fine. The “Laugh it off” route isn’t for everyone, and your attempts to correct the misinformation are certainly well intentioned.
Sorry, that was meant in response to the women’s remark.
Thank you for your comment below.
I think our humanitarian and social efforts under the direction of our churches women out strip anything seen in the 19th century but maybe I’m crazy. And As to the laugh it off approach. I’ve been pushed beyond that now. To many time have I been beat up insulted and shunned for my beliefs. It’s not so bad else where. Where I live it seems its almost impossible to escape. I don’t know why they hate us but they do. I spend MUCH of my time doing my best to convince people that mormons are good but to little avail. Still whenever I leave my region I seem to find less intolerance so I hold out hope. I live in Calgary Alberta Canada. While almost all Canadians pride themselves on courtesy and racial tolerance, this attitude is not shared by many Calgarians in regards to the religious. They see us as ignorant, barbaric and superstitious fools and treat us as such. IF any of you reading this are Calgarians and this description does not apply to you or anyone you know good, and thank you.
Ouch. Sorry about that. When there’s genuine abuse going on, not just misunderstandings but blatant harassment, it’s just not a humorous situation. I wouldn’t seek to judge you by how you’ve handled your tribulations.
Hey RT. I understand where you are coming from man. I am personally not a Mormon, but most of my best friends are. I have learned alot about the church, and although I don’t believe in it, I respect your religion immensely and am sorry that past people have criticized your beliefs. Mormons, from my personal experience, seem to be one of the nicest religious groups out there. So all I’m really trying to say is hang in there and don’t get to caught up on comments. Remember this is the internet.
Which is impossible though, because of the flood. It destroyed all the wicked men on earth leaving only Noah, his wife and his sons and their wives. The dark skinned originates from Ham’s tribe.
I don’t think they really do believe Jesus was born in the Mushroom Kingdom. But ICBW.
They worship the Star Spirits, not Jesus. They worship Jesustar and Buddhastar.
Quoting Dracula from “The Symphony of the Night”:
“Perhaps the same could be said of all religions.”
As far as I’m aware, you are a very religious person, so try to respect other religions if you want your own respected. =3
Nope. And I’m really sick of this. I’m not Mormon myself, but I have a good amount of Mormon friends. If you want to actually understand the beliefs, Mormon.org is a pretty good site to try. You can’t believe everything you hear from the creators of the most offensive yet hilarious cartoon, or from a web comic author regurgitating bad religious info for that matter. Seriously? the whole ‘loving God, angry God’ thing is still going on? What is wrong with you people (no offense meant… honestly)
This is why I love Shortpacked so much.
My favorite part may very well be that they are named Elder Toad and Elder Toad.
I’ve never thought of the Mushroom Kingdom as having Mormons, but I will never be able to play another Mario game without thinking about this comix.
DAAAMMMMNNN YOOOUUUU WILLLLIIIISSSS!!!!
Oh. My. God… coming from someone who lives in Utah.. this is just amazing.
Ya can’t touch Mormon Jesus.
There, I said it.
…aaaand now I have a mental image of Jesus in a stuffy suit and hammerpants. I hope you’re happy.
Naw, not nearly enough.
Is Mario the Mua’d'dib?
Dune reference is <3
Bowser is Baron Harkonnen. It all fits!
Except the part where Wario is played by Sting.
(imagines Wario in a leather Speedo, faints)
“I weel-a keel-a heem!“
Next up, Mario and Luigi performing “You and Me (But Mostly Me)”!
As a Mormon, I find this a tad offensive.
I wonder why?
This comic is only showing the close relationship between super mario galaxy and the mormonic religion, which DOES exit.
If you can’t laugh at that, even if you are a mormon, then you are kind of square-minded.
It’s not that the comparison if offensive, but the misrepresentation and mocking of beliefs. I’m not personally Mormon, but I know enough about it to know how horrible The Book of Mormon (the musical) is.
I’m just kinda curious, if you find this a tad offensive what is your opinion on the heavy handedness of battlestar galactica in its use of mormonism? Either classic or new whichever you have better exposure to.
<— Mormon. And ate up that BSG shit. loved pointing out all the similarities to friends, who were completely unaware of the references.
Pick your battles. Is it more worthwhile getting upset about this or the guy saying “I)@MN those mormon polygamists why do they keep ringing my door? we should kill em all.” Is this offensive maybe I don’t really think so. So just accept it.
I’m not sure if this is an indictment against or FOR Mormonism.
It’s neither, really. It’s just a “wouldn’t it be weird if these things collided” deal.
Maybe this shows us that Mario was secretly a Mormon. :O
Lol. Raised mormon, so these always crack me up. I’ve never seen anyone do a joke on that particular teaching before either. I know it’s a good day when I get to hear a completely fresh and new mormon joke^^
Ditto. Tired of hearing that old “So….. How many wives you plan on having?” saw.
One, and that’s probably too many.
One is the maximum any mormon is aloud. you go over you get excommunicated. Yeah one is probably enough or too much in my case.
Only one aloud, but several silently?
(Sorry, sorry, but you just handed me a polygamy joke and an incorrect word use joke. It was too juicy to pass up!)
Wow that pun was hellishly bad. Holy crap man. Groan
lightened the mood though. hahaha
I think Mario is the Mushroom Kingdom’s Jesus.
Both have notable facial hair; Jesus has a famous beard, and Mario a mustache.
Both have supernatural powers. Jesus can heal the sick and drive out demons, Mario can jump like Shaq and throw fireballs.
Both return from the grave. Jesus three days after his execution, Mario continuously if he has enough 1-Up mushrooms.
Both oppose evil dragon like creatures who live in firey realms. Jesus against Satan, Mario against Bowser.
This one requires some thought, but both believe in achieving eternal life through the consumption of flesh. Jesus through holy communion, Mario through eating mushrooms. But since the people in the Kingsom are mushrooms, eating mushrooms is like eating flesh.
That’s all I’ve got, apart from maybe some comparison between the antichrist and Wario. Anyone else got a parallel?
Both, Jesus and Mario can do impossible things on water. Jesus can walk over it, Mario can breath in it.
Just like Jesus, Mario can transform something mundane into something useful. Jesus can transform water into wine while Mario can transform blocks into coins.
After the third day, Jesus ascended to heaven. Mario can ascend to heaven as well. (with his power-ups or using that piranha plant that grows until heaven)
They both have occupations related to construction, carpenter and plumber.
And in the original Donkey Kong, Mario was a carpenter!
And both are dark-skinned middle eastern men! Wait….
If Mario had sense enough to make his world a gated community he could
have enjoyed his newspaper in peace.
Okay, Mario being a fat guy who wears red and has a moustache, I could ignore. But putting his face on his stuff? I think I’m no longer able to deny that he is secretly Robotnik.
Okay, this has legitimately never occurred to me before. Nintendo makes a game about a man saving a princess from an army of woodland creatures. Sega then makes a game about a hedgehog saving thousands of woodland creatures from a an evil moustachioed overweight man in am outfit with the color scheme favoring red and a gigantic bald spot that would easily be covered if he were wearing some manner of hat. Subtlety much?
You are asking subtlety to a company which used to have the slogan: “SEGA does what NINTENDon’t” ?
Ahh, Sega, a whole generation’s first brush with what would become known today as “console rivalry”. Back then, I thought that Sega was being quite mean about that whole thing.
Actually, it was “GENESIS does what NintenDON’T”. ‘Cause the Genesis was 16-bit where the NES was 8-bi, and could do “blast processing” (whatever that was).</analretentive>
The aforementioned ‘blast processing’ is what the Sonic the Hedgehog games were created to advertise, thus the immense speed. Loading a level ‘on the fly’ at that rate of travel was nigh-unheard of before the red-shod blue streak came onto the scene.
The games were built to have some challenge but allow for constant, active movement, and in some cases, one would ‘retrace’ parts of the level in either changed pathways (self-terminating loops, for example) or controlled movement (tube sections), allowing designers to fully utilize sections that would be otherwise nigh impossible without outright teleporting the character.
(…and Firefox’s inboard dictionary thinks ‘teleporting’ isn’t a word. Hm.)
Personally, I’d like for Sonic games to stop trying to focus on the speed (screw the whiners) and focus more on him being a fast-moving heroic hedgehog. He was created to showcase speed. He’s done it already. Let him do something else for a change.
…although I’d also like to see game adaptations of SatAM Sonic and Sonic Underground, and enjoyed Sonic ’06, Heroes, and both Adventure games, so I wholeheartedly expect half the internet to tell me I’m wrong on principle. (‘Nurr, the camera wuz bad!’ No, it wasn’t, never gave me trouble at all.)
I was going to say “right on!” but even I didn’t like Sonic ’06. Had a lot of fun with Shadow the Hedgehog, though.
also: Sonic Colors is basically the best thing ever.
Way I see it, the archie Sonic Comics are what the sonic games should be.
I’ll tell you what the 3d sonic games have done well though. The soundtrack. They used a chainsaw while others were using scalpels and the result was glorious. Even when I don’t play the new sonic games I always track down the soundtrack.
To expedite clarity: Mario’s head-planet is known as Starship Mario, and is the ‘hub world’ used to get around in Super Mario Galaxy 2. I don’t know why he has it, having not played SMG2 myself, but there it is.
I’m guessing it may be a gift from Rosalina or something.
Whoops. Self-correction: The Starship Mario was made by a Luma mechanic named Lubba and runs on Power Stars. It’s piloted by Lumas.
Spoilerriffic Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Super_Mario_Galaxy_2#Plot
Ah yes, Mormons. It has been a while since they last badgered me to convert.
Just yesterday some preachers ringed on my door… your timing is so apropiate it scares me O.o
Yeah its weird some of the parallels you can run into isn’t it?
Gives more flavor to life I guess.
True that. What flavor is odd deja vou? mint?
Close to Mint – its the Mint like chalky taste of either toothpaste, mouthwash or Imodium ….. I think it most like Imodium ….. I also get the same physical reaction and gut churning effects …..
Just goes to show no matter what you do. Despite all the good you try to do and all the lives you try to make better people will still hate you for your beliefs and go out of their way to make you feel low. I know theres freedom of speech. But maybe people should think REALLY hard about what they use that freedom for. This comment is not so much directed at the comic as at the OTHERS in this string.
Nobody hates you for your beliefs. Now maybe they hate the beliefs themselves, but nobody hates you personally. At worst they think you’re dim for believing the stuff.
Unless of course you personally have been perpetrating evil due to your religion or something. Have you?
No I do not commit evil so far I have ever heard it defined. And I have been hated for being a mormon. many people I have met have told me to “F-off you filthy polygamist” before. I AM NOT A POLYGAMIST. NO mormon is so stop saying it. And it is true most people don’t react that strongly.
While I don’t hate people for their religious beliefs, I reserve the right to mock people mercilessly for believing in extraordinarily silly things.
This includes, but is not limited to:
Young Earth Creationism,
The Inferiority of certain people based solely on race,
Marxism as a non-theoretical exercise,
Physically impossible killer planets,
That we’re all actually inhabited by nuked alien spirits,
and the idea that the Native Americans are the Lost Tribes of Israel.
The native american are not the lost tribes. Mormons believe they are descended from those who fled the region when babylon invaded and took everyone into captivity. Two relatively small families and their possessions don’t count as a tribe.
Though maybe i’m wrong.
Actually mormon temple remarriage is structures as polygamous – they have to die first, but you still accumulate multiple wives (one by one), and the women do NOT accumulate multiple husbands.
Just clarifying the point.
yeah but it works differently from earthly polygamy and there isn’t the risk of abusing the system. Beside any dude who trying to create a “harem” for his next life is gonna have more than enough problems waiting at the judgement to dampen his party when he gets there.
You’re clearly upset about how others have treated you. That doesn’t give you the right to come in here and throw a tantrum because you don’t like what is being said. No one made snide comments about polygamy in the comments, for example, but you’re still going off on that topic. Get yourself sorted out before coming in here to unload on complete strangers – misplaced anger isn’t good for anyone.
I’ve said I was sorry and tried to drop the comment after my string of talking to gangler. I accepted that Freaking out was a mistake and explained why i’m prone to these sorts of reactions. Again i’m sorry.
I just like to say that the Book of Mormon musical is both offensive and hilarious at the same time. I am of Mormon descent (but not mormon myself. noo way man… I like alcahol, cursing and hot coffee darnit!) so I totally understand where the play is coming from (it’s about a kid going on his first mission…in Africa…*lol*).
My family never bothers me to convert. They understand I don’t believe in their ways (altho I HAVE attended church with my grandparents in the past.).
I just love whenever I get a wedding invite and it’s to a temple wedding. Im like “Thanks for the invite people even tho Im not even ALLOWED to attend your super secret ceremony!! Uh hellooo!!” *lol*
They thought enough of you to send you one even though they knew you couldn’t attend. Also, while you can not attend the ceremony, I don’t believe there is any bar from attending the reception (I even crashed one once).
Anyway, you kind of sort of aren’t really invited to the temple wedding. Only groomsman, bridesmaids, parents, and sometimes family are allowed. They just want you to meet them outside and congratulate them a la exiting the chapel.
Of course, in reality, Lubba rules over that place with an iron fist.
It’s a-me… You’re mother F**king GOD!
THIS IS EXTRA HILARIOUS, we had people stop at my house just today to “spread the word of God.”.
I like Mario’s head-house-planet.
Here’s an odd sidebar:
The Depression Era Canadian TV drama titled “Wind at My Back” has been playing on two cable/satellite channels here in the USA. One is INSP, a Christian cable network. The other channel is BYUTV, the TV channel from Brigham Young University, a Mormon institution.
One episode of “Wind at My Back” is called The Crystal Skull. A character on the show inherits a crystal skull from an old friend of the family. Some coincidental, or even supernatural, things happen because of the crystal skull. INSP, the Christian cable channel, refuses to air this episode because it offends them in some way. Although I think it shows how they don’t think much of their audience’s faith. Anyway, BYUTV has no problem showing this episode. So take from that what you will. I just found it odd that a known, conservative institution like the Mormon church is not offended by The Crystal Skull, and an Evangelical based channel is offended.
Canada had TV during the Depression Era?
Hey, I had to walk a fine line between implied meaning or creating a run-on sentence. :p
No, this is incorrect. Allow me to explain:
A long time ago, the universe was a vast empty space filled with nothing but strange little creatures called Star Kids. Eventually, the Star Kids grew into creatures called Lumas. After hundreds of years, the Lumas realized that they had to evolve into a new form: a planet, a comet, or a star.
Soon, Lumas turned into planets and a small group of Lumas decided to watch over their former friends and became Star Spirits. The Star Spirits continue to watch over the Mushroom World today, and will always love us for maintaining the planet.
Would you like to join my cult?
Stanley the fish has been murdered? Did Big Bertha finally catch him and have her ‘womanly’ ways?…well how ever it happened lets celebrate! Fish and Chips for tea WOO.
I’ve watched this world for a while now and I can honestly say withought any dought that no one religion contains all of the truth but that every religion contains part of a whole truth.
That belief makes it hard to stick to, and maintain membership in any one religion… I am, in some ways, in the same boat. I was LDS and the LDS vs. other Christian religions (if you don’t believe me, then look at the dictionary definition of Christian) just makes me sad.
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