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Drunk

by David Willis on May 5, 2011 at 12:01 am
  • 02 - The New Girl

└ Tags: amber, dark of the moon, ethan, toy hunting, transformers

Discussion (98) ¬

[ Comments RSS ]
  1. Arison
    Arison
    May 5, 2011 at 12:01 am | # | Reply

    Stay classy, Amber.

    • Janette
      Janette
      May 5, 2011 at 12:16 pm | # | Reply

      My initial thought, but I’m coming to accept that Amber does whatever it takes to get what she wants and have as little drama as possible at the same time. Like most people really. I may not like it, but the way she acts is actually very realistic.

      It’s just surprising she’s never been called on it, and probably never will.

      • Viktor
        Viktor
        May 5, 2011 at 4:18 pm | # | Reply

        Probably because she does try to help her friends and not cause problems. Combine that with the fact that the rest of the cast is worse, and she looks like an angel in comparison.

        • Janette
          Janette
          May 6, 2011 at 12:02 am | # | Reply

          ….what comic are you reading? An angel in comparison to the others? How is Ethan, Robin or Leslie worse then Amber? Yes, they’ve made mistakes, but so has she.

          And she done some quite mean things, such as rub it cruelly in Ethan’s face she was sleeping with Mike. I’m surprised no one remembers that. She’s not an angel. They’re…alll human and make mistakes.

          She just happens to be a human that avoids confrontation.

          • Random Webcomics Junkie
            Random Webcomics Junkie
            May 8, 2013 at 4:44 pm | # | Reply

            I think she’s become pretty good at the whole confrontation thing, actually. She went from “terrified and avoiding confrontation” to “going overboard and being cruel to her friends” to somewhere in the middle, where she addresses problems but has some empathy while doing so.

            Her cruelty before was, I think, mostly due to not having figured out the difference between standing up for herself and being a dick. It mostly happened in a pretty short span of time, during which she was going through a lot of emotional readjustment and learning how not to be a doormat anymore.

            It’s completely believable and understandable that someone who had spent her whole life cowering in the corner wouldn’t really know what was appropriate when she finally decided to be assertive. She fucked up at first, and was super cruel to Robin and to Ethan in a bid to feel powerful. But now she seems to have found some balance between confidence and kindness.

  2. Jen Aside
    Jen Aside
    May 5, 2011 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

    But it sounds like he’s all ready for a(nother) Ninja Rick stabbing!

    • James
      James
      May 5, 2011 at 1:11 am | # | Reply

      Oh My God!

      Rick Stabbed Linkara and Amber’s the new pregnant assistant manager!

  3. General Tekno
    General Tekno
    May 5, 2011 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    The BART?

    Is that like a BAT with a buzz cut that says “Eat my shorts”?

    • StClair
      StClair
      May 5, 2011 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

      Bay Area Rapid Transport.

    • Bickendan
      Bickendan
      May 5, 2011 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

      ‘Bay Area Rapid Transit’

      • calendarman27
        calendarman27
        May 5, 2011 at 12:56 am | # | Reply

        where i come from we have ictc (ick tick) isabella county transportation company

        • RayBarrington
          RayBarrington
          May 5, 2011 at 6:57 am | # | Reply

          Wish they’d call it Frisco Area Rapid Transit.

          • C
            C
            May 5, 2011 at 9:55 am | # | Reply

            FRISCO? Ew. I’m not even from SF and that word makes me cringe. Blecch.

    • OldsVistaCruiser
      OldsVistaCruiser
      May 5, 2011 at 7:30 am | # | Reply

      As others have posted, it’s Bay Area Rapid Transit.

      Great trains (I rode it in 2005 from San Fran to Oakland so I could get to Oakland Int’l Airport), but why did they have to not use standard gauge tracks?

      Another fun ride was the Vallejo-San Fran ferry. San Fran also has old PCC (President’s Conference Committee) trolley cars, including a lot of them from my hometown SEPTA (Southeast Pennsylvania Transportation Authority) from Philly. I didn’t get a chance to ride the storied cable cars, though.

      For someone who suggested “Frisco…”, I get – and like – the acronym, but people in the Bay Area hate the term “Frisco” – they call it “San Fran”.

      • Theplanetsaturn
        Theplanetsaturn
        May 5, 2011 at 2:41 pm | # | Reply

        They call it “SF” more than anything.

    • The Pletch
      The Pletch
      May 5, 2011 at 7:34 am | # | Reply

      Man, that’s inefficient. Boston just calls it the T.

      • Rick Sivart
        Rick Sivart
        May 5, 2011 at 9:36 am | # | Reply

        What the hell man??? You just used the words “Boston”, “T” and “inefficient” in a sentence (OK, technically 2) without dissing the MBTA. How the hell could that happen?

  4. arjay2813
    arjay2813
    May 5, 2011 at 12:07 am | # | Reply

    aww, ethan doesn’t want to go to S. America again? that’s going to disappoint U.C.

    • Rognik
      Rognik
      May 5, 2011 at 12:29 am | # | Reply

      He’s already moved on to slapstick pies. He found it just as satisfying and far cheaper.

  5. Ascension
    Ascension
    May 5, 2011 at 12:08 am | # | Reply

    Pregnancy, right? This sounds like the pregnancy introduction.

    • Tunasammich
      Tunasammich
      May 5, 2011 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

      She is pregnant with managerial responsibility!

      • Rognik
        Rognik
        May 5, 2011 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

        It seemed like she had a pregnant pause there, too.

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      May 5, 2011 at 12:14 am | # | Reply

      …by getting drunk? Yikes, man.

      • addude
        addude
        May 5, 2011 at 12:17 am | # | Reply

        It will be Ethan’s won’t it? Stop messing with our minds! Or at least as often!

        • The E-man
          The E-man
          May 5, 2011 at 12:35 am | # | Reply

          ETHAN’S PREGNANT?!?!??!?!??!??!?!

          • Arison
            Arison
            May 5, 2011 at 12:36 am | # | Reply

            AND CONNIE’S THE FATHER?

          • Kamino Neko
            Kamino Neko
            May 5, 2011 at 12:43 am | # | Reply

            Would that make the child Gallaso’s heir, or not…?

          • PleasingFungus
            PleasingFungus
            May 5, 2011 at 2:28 am | # | Reply

            We don’t know if Ethan’s gay in this universe, so it could happen!

          • Sarpiedon
            Sarpiedon
            May 5, 2011 at 1:04 pm | # | Reply

            I think it’s been pretty well established that Ethan OS gay in this continuity family. He realized it right hatter he hooked up with Connie. That’s why he failed to provide Glasso with an heir.

      • Viktor
        Viktor
        May 5, 2011 at 1:28 am | # | Reply

        If it’s Mike’s kid, she only has 2 choices. She either gets really drunk so the fetus is drunk and therefore nice enough not to chew it’s way out of the womb, or she gets really drunk and climbs a tall staircase. Going through with that pregnancy sober is not an option.

        • ryan
          ryan
          May 5, 2011 at 8:12 am | # | Reply

          no wire hangers?
          no wire hangers ever?

          • agent_of_the_8
            agent_of_the_8
            May 5, 2011 at 6:34 pm | # | Reply

            Yes, Mommy Dearest! *Cringes in corner*

        • Gambler
          Gambler
          May 6, 2011 at 8:45 am | # | Reply

          But what if its twins…

  6. Stephen Bierce
    Stephen Bierce
    May 5, 2011 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    In the military, she’d be obliged to treat everybody to drinks, now that she’s a newly minted member of the officer cadre.

  7. Touch of Grey
    Touch of Grey
    May 5, 2011 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

    Wait, did I miss something? What’s going on? Tell me your news Amber!

    • Tunasammich
      Tunasammich
      May 5, 2011 at 12:11 am | # | Reply

      She’s assistant manager!

      • gangler
        gangler
        May 5, 2011 at 12:37 am | # | Reply

        Until you reminded me of that I though Ascension was on the mark with the pregnancy thing.

  8. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 5, 2011 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

    “Well yes, Rick stabbed three customers today, but that’s not the point!”

    • calendarman27
      calendarman27
      May 5, 2011 at 12:59 am | # | Reply

      “why would you need to be drunk to know that? He stabs someone everyday, it should no longer be shocking ethan,”

  9. shoeboxjeddy
    shoeboxjeddy
    May 5, 2011 at 12:20 am | # | Reply

    Amber COME ON. I don’t even care about the manager thing, but STOP FORCING ALCOHOL on others. I’m so glad the Mike debacle taught her absolutely nothing. :/

    • Acacia
      Acacia
      May 5, 2011 at 12:25 am | # | Reply

      She’s not “forcing”, she’s taking his no for an answer.

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      May 5, 2011 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

      Man, find me a panel here where Amber forces anything on anybody.

      • Phil
        Phil
        May 5, 2011 at 12:50 am | # | Reply

        Well, blackmailing is considered ‘forcing’ to a lot of people. So, you know, there’s that.

        • David Willis
          David Willis
          May 5, 2011 at 1:26 am | # | Reply

          Yeah, “here” means “today,” wise ass.

          • Phil
            Phil
            May 5, 2011 at 10:47 am | # | Reply

            Hey, you can’t call the Jesus-allegory lion a wise ass!

            Well, you totally can, but I’m just going to sit here and look dour about it…as usual.

      • Bekah
        Bekah
        May 5, 2011 at 12:56 am | # | Reply

        I think shoebox is just imagining things

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 5, 2011 at 1:05 am | # | Reply

        Well, I couldn’t find a panel where Amber is forcing alcohol on Ethan. So, I decided to make one.

        A DRAMATIC INTERPRETATION OF THE STRIP
        http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y185/Ridureyu/forumstuff/ethanambercartoon.png

        • XMD
          XMD
          May 5, 2011 at 1:20 am | # | Reply

          PERFECTLY. CANON.

        • Cappo
          Cappo
          May 5, 2011 at 1:25 am | # | Reply

          OMG, that’s the secret right there! Amber is Unicron!

      • shoeboxjeddy
        shoeboxjeddy
        May 5, 2011 at 9:08 am | # | Reply

        She should be VERY careful about using drink to ply people at all. No, she isn’t forcing it down his throat, but being like “Drinks dammit!” is not what she should do. It’s stupid anyway, what if he feels fine about it while they’re drinking but then forgets and she has to tell him again when he’s sober? Or what if he does remember and is immediately pissed about it once he’s sober? It’s a stupid tactic.

        • David Willis
          David Willis
          May 5, 2011 at 9:51 am | # | Reply

          You’ve never been drunk, have you.

          • shoeboxjeddy
            shoeboxjeddy
            May 5, 2011 at 8:54 pm | # | Reply

            That’s kind of a dumb question. If you’re wondering, I’m a “stands way too close and thinks up ‘amazing’ stories” drunk. But anything that seemed like a great idea when I was drunk was not something I would follow up on sober. And I wouldn’t emotionally accept apologies or explanations while drunk either, if they seriously wanted me to accept them, I would have to be sober.

          • Wack'd
            Wack'd
            September 19, 2012 at 10:31 pm | # | Reply

            Says the man who has characters who pass out after one drink or have complete personality inversions from drinking. Totally accurate portrayals!

            • Random Webcomics Junkie
              Random Webcomics Junkie
              May 8, 2013 at 4:49 pm | # | Reply

              I love those elements of those characters and would never want them any other way, but yeah, you have a point.

    • Ridureyu
      Ridureyu
      May 5, 2011 at 12:31 am | # | Reply

      I don’t think “asking” and “suggesting” can be construed as “forcing.”

    • Arison
      Arison
      May 5, 2011 at 12:35 am | # | Reply

      She’s not forcing it on Ethan, she was asking Ethan about it. She also suggested that she has some selfish motivations behind her offer, but that is in NO way forcing it on Ethan. There is no forcing at all in this comic.

      • calendarman27
        calendarman27
        May 5, 2011 at 1:01 am | # | Reply

        yep no forcing at all, your mom took mikes penis very willingly…for a nickel

        • gwalla
          gwalla
          May 5, 2011 at 11:32 am | # | Reply

          Forced jokes in the comments, on the other hand…

  10. XMD
    XMD
    May 5, 2011 at 1:21 am | # | Reply

    She’s about to tell him she’s Spider-Car and they’re going to do the upside-down make-out scene because is Ethan gay in this universe?

  11. Ridureyu
    Ridureyu
    May 5, 2011 at 1:26 am | # | Reply

    I just looked at those dolls in the b ackground, and realized who it was.

    I am afraid now. So very afraid.

    • Thomas
      Thomas
      May 5, 2011 at 6:53 am | # | Reply

      What? Mattel’s Justin-Bieber-in-a-frilly-dress doll TM?

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 5, 2011 at 11:56 am | # | Reply

        No, Tony from It’s Walky.

  12. Shift
    Shift
    May 5, 2011 at 1:29 am | # | Reply

    I swear I look at Ethan and his priorities, and I envy him so much for having someone like Drew who would tolerate his crazy.

  13. Plasma Mongoose
    Plasma Mongoose
    May 5, 2011 at 2:00 am | # | Reply

    Bring an umbrella, the shit is going to hit the fab.

    • Doctor Who
      Doctor Who
      May 5, 2011 at 9:06 am | # | Reply

      The fab? Couldn’t it hit the Faz instead?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 5, 2011 at 4:58 pm | # | Reply

        Oh why not :) everyone and everything else does.

    • alicemacher
      alicemacher
      May 5, 2011 at 10:18 am | # | Reply

      The Fab Four?

      The Pre-Fab Four?

      The cast of Absolutely Fabulous?

      • Plasma Mongoose
        Plasma Mongoose
        May 5, 2011 at 5:01 pm | # | Reply

        YES YES and more YES!

        (Actually I meant to type fan, but I’m sure you realised that)

  14. Doom Shepherd
    Doom Shepherd
    May 5, 2011 at 2:00 am | # | Reply

    I thought street date was the 15th. Seems a little early yet.

    But then, MY goddamn Toys ‘R Us seems to get everything TWO FRIGGIN’ MONTHS after everybody else does.

  15. Derik
    Derik
    May 5, 2011 at 3:33 am | # | Reply

    Mike wants a threesome for his birthday?
    …no, wait. That’s nightly unlikely. *sigh*

  16. Shogo
    Shogo
    May 5, 2011 at 4:18 am | # | Reply

    . . . Ethan continues to be the Shortpacked character I find most disturbing.

  17. agent_of_the_8
    agent_of_the_8
    May 5, 2011 at 5:51 am | # | Reply

    Well, at least there was a mention of the Ninja Rick “brick joke” so it’s no longer a “what happened to the mouse?” type of situation.

    And, aw, man! – it would be ginchy to see what kind of new day would dawn if Amber and Ethan were to get drunk with each-other again! Another awkward sexual experience, anyone? ;) Come on, it’s my b-date: something awesome has got to happen SOMEWHERE even if it’s not to me…

    - a_o_t_8.

  18. Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
    Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)
    May 5, 2011 at 7:38 am | # | Reply

    Of course……

  19. ryan
    ryan
    May 5, 2011 at 8:25 am | # | Reply

    look at those rosy cheeks! who’s to say ethan isn’t ALREADY drunk?

  20. izzatrix
    izzatrix
    May 5, 2011 at 9:53 am | # | Reply

    Well as Rose of Sharon Cassidy often says “And then a fight started”

  21. Locke
    Locke
    May 5, 2011 at 10:13 am | # | Reply

    Dammit, Ninja Rick, Ninjas are supposed to have CONTROL. You’re a shame to your fellow ninj- *STAB*

  22. TheDoctor
    TheDoctor
    May 5, 2011 at 10:14 am | # | Reply

    Are those “TONY” dolls in the background? (Tony as in ‘Sal shot him’, was re-generated then possessed by then squished dead again by Martians Tony?)

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      May 5, 2011 at 12:41 pm | # | Reply

      No, those are just dolls.

  23. Zagrede
    Zagrede
    May 5, 2011 at 11:26 am | # | Reply

    Ethan’s last line should be the ending line of every Shortpacked comic ever from now on. Who’s with me?

  24. gwalla
    gwalla
    May 5, 2011 at 11:38 am | # | Reply

    Quick correction: it’s not “the BART”, it’s just “BART”. It’s a proper name.

    It’s okay though. I know you’re not a native speaker.

    Next lesson: the proper use of “hella”.

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      May 5, 2011 at 7:09 pm | # | Reply

      Using “the BART” helps those who aren’t natives, though. In a comic where everything’s all caps, it just looks to anyone from outside San Francisco that Amber wants Ethan to take a dude named Bart. Putting “the” in front of it clarifies that it’s not a guy but a thing to the other 99% of the world.

      • Theplanetsaturn
        Theplanetsaturn
        May 5, 2011 at 8:38 pm | # | Reply

        You win this round.

      • beeftony
        beeftony
        May 5, 2011 at 9:12 pm | # | Reply

        Being accompanied on a toy hunt by Bart O’Ryan would be pretty epic, though.

  25. Darkflame
    Darkflame
    May 5, 2011 at 11:50 am | # | Reply

    Ninja Rick? Stabbing? When was he last seen…

    ..omg! Is Linkara ok???

  26. Janette
    Janette
    May 5, 2011 at 12:07 pm | # | Reply

    Having him sloshed is a bad idea. Alcohol acts as a depressant. And then if it makes him so depressed he drinks to the point he can’t remember, you’ll have to tell him again!

  27. celynnen
    celynnen
    May 5, 2011 at 12:22 pm | # | Reply

    the BART? nobody in teh Bay Area calls it “the BART” (unless they’re a transplant from Minnesota, donchaknow); ’round here it’s just BART.

    • Roborat
      Roborat
      May 5, 2011 at 3:13 pm | # | Reply

      So, don’t people named Bart find that kind of confusing, what with always thinking people are going to take them somewhere?

      • Ridureyu
        Ridureyu
        May 5, 2011 at 3:36 pm | # | Reply

        No more than p named Washington living in abject depression from day to day.

  28. Theplanetsaturn
    Theplanetsaturn
    May 5, 2011 at 2:35 pm | # | Reply

    “The” Bart? It’s like saying? I took The Alaska Airlines.

  29. Hello, Mr. Anderson
    Hello, Mr. Anderson
    May 5, 2011 at 3:10 pm | # | Reply

    I do love how the store knows about Ninja Rick stabbing people and would be totally culpable if he were to be ever caught. Just seems about right for this place.

  30. XLR
    XLR
    May 5, 2011 at 6:42 pm | # | Reply

    If the BART is anything similiar to the DART then cool.

    DANM why must things only make sense to you americans?

  31. Rowan M
    Rowan M
    May 5, 2011 at 8:01 pm | # | Reply

    So it wasn’t until I read the comments that I realized she’s likely talking about her promotion. I just figured that she was working up the nerve to tell him about Faz.

  32. MikeK
    MikeK
    May 5, 2011 at 8:57 pm | # | Reply

    Poor Ethan, he and several real collectors never learn. Every retail store will be lousy with DOTM toys.

  33. Zem
    Zem
    May 6, 2011 at 12:44 am | # | Reply

    I expected the punchline to be more on the lines of…OMG -inser transformer toy name here- was recalled/cancelled/sold out? (Or any other toy related media panic of your choice.)

  34. Liss Bee.
    Liss Bee.
    May 6, 2011 at 9:16 am | # | Reply

    BART isn’t very useful when you’re trying to just get around the city. It’s more useful to get outside of SF than anything else. Inside SF, I’d rather take Munni or just walk.

    • David Willis
      David Willis
      May 6, 2011 at 12:22 pm | # | Reply

      There aren’t many Targets inside the city.

  35. Name is Lie
    Name is Lie
    May 7, 2011 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

    Wait stabbings aren’t normal?

  36. Kernanator
    Kernanator
    September 17, 2011 at 8:31 pm | # | Reply

    I love how Ethan’s first instinct, upon hearing there is news he won’t like, automatically assumes Ninja Rick has stabbed somebody. Again.

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