I wanted to use White Castle, but I Googled and San Francisco has none. Damn.
Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
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Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
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The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
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Dinosaur Comics
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Dresden Codak
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Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
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Lookin’ good, Jacob!
He wears the shadow well.
He wore Ambers mom well
And he didn’t even need a nickel.
Ahaha, I thought the please might have been Amber’s influence! Poor Jacob, though; hopefully he doesn’t stay at rock bottom for too much longer.
“I want… Jacob!”
Yup, sounds good.
Delicious if he comes with the double down!
I demand to know where Jacob got that Double Down from. The KFCs around here all stopped carrying it.
That’s unfortunate. I totally approve of the double down.
No, don’t turn into a stereotype Jacob!
Oh geez, I didn’t even think of that. I just wanted him to be eating the saddest thing possible!
Psh. You just don’t understand the power of not having to eat bread.
I do so hate bread.
If by ‘saddest’ you mean ‘most delicious’.
Weird, even I was thinking that seeing him holding the double down. Geesh, I’m 2 for 2 tonight understanding what chest window is and seeing the double down reference. Oy vey, what have I become……
*Willis hurriedly scratches out sketch of Jacob spending welfare check on 20 inch rims and watermelon*
I just discovered that I’m actually a terrible person, because this made me fall out of my chair laughing.
I read “Horridly”
I just love picturing his horrified face as he sketches this. “Oh No! Stop! What is happening to me?!”
“I have Frank Miller disease!”
Does that mean the next strip will only feature whores?
Actually, I should have posted Frank Miller syndrome. A victim of the syndrome will obsessively draw or write only the object of the obsession. In Frank Miller’s case, that’s whores. If Mr. Willis comes down with it … probably Transformers.
And speaking of Mr. Miller, there is a great little Dark Knight parody on the Woot.com website. http://www.woot.com/Blog/ViewEntry.aspx?Id=17294
As long as his next appearance doesn’t involve him being seen eating at a waffle house, I think you’ll be okie dokie xD
There aren’t any Waffle Houses in San Francisco either.
Any of In-n-Out’s secret “#x#” sandwiches above 4 should do the trick. They make up to 20x20s – for those of you who aren’t californians, that means 20 beef patties and 20 slices of cheese.
Then again, In-n-Out is delicious and you can be forgiven for wanting to eat a 20×20.
Don’t worry. The stereotype only counts if it’s whole fried chicken pieces, especially legs and wings.
Why is the idea that blacks liking fried chicken seen as such a bad thing?? I’m rather fond of the KFC Spicy Fillets myself.
Because white people are terrified of the notion that someone, somewhere, might think that they aren’t at all times accepting of everyone around them. You know, except the racists. They’re terrified that someone, somewhere might think they ARE at all times accepting of everyone around them.
That is a reply worthy of Bernard from the Yes Minister series.
Because, you see, black people like fried chicken.
Of course, you know who else likes fried chicken? EVERYONE.
Except the vegetarians and the vegans- fuckers.
No. They like fried chicken too. They’re just lying about it.
I prefer to give them the benefit of the doubt and think of them like Vulcans. They still have the desire and urges, but they keep them bottled up deep inside, until, one day, (like Sarek and his Bendii syndrome that caused him emotional outbursts) they hunt, capture, and eat a whole cow raw.
I never muched liked the taste of fried chicken before I went veggie.
And I’ve always been grossed out by the idea of eating animal corpses, cooked or not. Now that I think about it, Robin’s roadrunner metaphor from a few strips ago really applies to my vegetarianism. One day I just looked down and BAM! realised I should never have tried to be anything different in the first place.
I think Dave Chappelle said it best: “Let me tell you something, if you don’t like chicken or watermelon, something is wrong with you, motherf*cker, something is WRONG with you.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=–g3PP3dfDo
Says who? What are you… the authority on cultural stereotypes?
…
If so, who are we not allowed to make fun of, again?
I think the Manatees made it clear to everyone that either everything is fair game, or nothing is.
Don’t screw with the Manatees.
I thought this was the saddest thing you could eat.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zm8T_3M5Bi4&feature=related
That has got to be the best bit of journalism impartiality i have ever seen. amazing.
Well, this is Fox. I think he was trying to raise the bar a little bit on fairness and balance above their normal excellence.
Excuse me, but what is a Double Down and why is it the saddest fast food item possible? [There are no KFCs near me.]
The Double Down contains “bacon, two different kinds of melted cheese, the Colonel’s ‘secret’ sauce pinched in between two pieces of Original Recipe chicken fillets.”
Thanks. But it has bacon, and bacon makes everything better! EVERYTHING.
Except when it comes to your arteries, then IT’S BAD!
*Covers ears and starts reciting mantra*
It is by bacon alone I set this body in motion.
It is by the fat of pork that waists acquire love-handles, the heart acquires pains, the pains become a warning.
It is by bacon alone I set this body in motion.
The only pig meat I deal with is Pigmeat Markham, otherwise I avoid the stuff.
It’s also WAYYY saltier than it ought to be.
I ate one once. Never again.
Or as I like to call it a Heart attack on a bun minus the bun.
And people eat this stuff? D:
That … doesn’t sound so bad. :p
-airfox
A friend of mine called it a fast-food Chicken Cordon Bleu with bad PR.
I am soooo tempted to make a Jeff Dunham crack.
SILENCE! I keel you!
The saddest thing possible…? Hmmm… I would say that should have been Denny’s (but they don’t do home deliver) or Arby’s (but there is only one in the city of San Francisco which would be too much of a hassle to get regularly) or… No, no… you were right to choose KFC, Willis. Its a food that I can easily associate with sadness. McDonald’s and Burger King for most people are much more reminiscent of happy times (i.e. Happy Meals)
I never got this “fried chicken +watermelon = black stereotype”. I only know about it because people keep mentinone it. But I mean, it’s fried chicken and watermelon! Who doesn’t love it? It’s the best food ever. I would jump on it with extazy if presented to me. And yet, i am white. But it doesn’t matter, because veryone love it, I don’t know a single persone who doesn’t love it, except vegans (but they are just lying to themselves). And yet when a black eat that, it become a stereotype.
Is drinking water a stereotype too?
Down here in South Oz, the Blacks (Sudanese mostly) are not all that into the fried chicken like KFC, that stereotype goes to the Whites and Asians.
If you – or anyone else – is curious about some of the history behind the watermelon-fried-chicken stereotype, here’s one blurb:
http://www.authentichistory.com/diversity/african/chickenwatermelon/index.html
Or in other words; in the past, black people eating watermelon and fried chicken was treated as a negative thing and worth making fun of — because black people were doing it. There really wasn’t much black people could do that wasn’t treated as negative and worth making fun of. Invoking the stereotype nowadays associates black people with imagery that was used to degrade, demean, and repress them in the past. Often for the sake of getting a laugh out of it… or maybe because you (general ‘you’) honestly have no idea else to how refer to, talk about, or create humor involving black people, which is a problem in and of itself.
(Note: Not to say that’s the case with Willis or this comic AT ALL, just addressing the questions popping up about the stereotype itself.)
Ya blew it, Willis! KFC hasn’t been selling the Double Down for over a year now.
but doesn’t that just make it even sadder that jacob is eating one? like if he stockpiled THAT MANY since he became a shut-in?
The KFCs near me still have them.
10 Fast Food Items Worse For You Than The KFC Double Down
BURGER KING
Triple Whopper:
1160 calories
76g fat
1170mg sodium
Tendercrisp Garden Salad:
670 cals
45g fat
1740mg sodium
Tendercrisp Chicken Sandwich:
800 cals
46g fat
1640mg sodium
Original Chicken Sandwich:
630 cals
39g fat
1390mg sodium
MCDONALD’S
Angus Mushroom & Swiss Burger:
770 cals
40g fat
1170mg sodium
Double Quarter Pounder With Cheese:
740 cals
42g fat
1380mg sodium
Chicken Selects 5-Piece with one packet of Buffalo Sauce:
720 cals
46g fat
2480mg sodium
WENDY’S
Chicken BLT Salad With Honey Dijon Dressing:
720 cals
51g fat
1540mg sodium
Baconator Double:
980 cals
62g fat
1740mg sodium
Southwest Taco Salad with ranch dressing and tortilla strips:
640 cals
36g fat
1590mg sodium
http://consumerist.com/2010/04/10-fast-food-items-worse-for-you-than-the-kfc-double-down.html
That information on Wendy’s is a bit out of date. They changed both salads (contents and names) to make the BLT cobb salad more healthy (except for more sodium), the baja salad less healthy (added 100 calories worth of toppings), oh, and the Baconator® now comes in a triple. Yes, the triple Baconator® is roughly 1250 calories, 82g fat, and 1930mg sodium, beating out the triple Whopper® for most calories and most fat in a single menu item in that list.
The saddest thing possible is McNuggets in Alfredo sauce.
…and now I’m hungry.
…that sounds AWESOME
That’d be a fried chicken drumstick, man, or chicken and waffles. Not a double down.
Double down is white trash food.
Jacob make Balrog’s girlfriend straight for him~!
That’s not how Street Fighter works, Horerczy.
So long as it gets Malaya and Hakan together and away for Leslie then Street Fighter can work however it wants
Fei Long should just give up on Malaya and date either Cammy or Chun-Li instead. Or both at once.
*confused*
are those the names of his hands?
Ouch! Let’s give Dhalsim the benefit of the doubt and assume he can still date women. As opposed to only “dating” his hands.
You need Street Fighter Gaiden vol 2, in which Fei Long does indeed date Chun-Li and Cammy at the same time.
Ah, thank you. I did not know that. So maybe he does get lucky.
Maybe he thinks if he becomes a slob, women won’t want him anymore, and then he won’t be tempted.
I don’t think it’s an act. It’s a sign when you hit rock bottom: you stop grooming, you live in your apartment, and you eat garbage fast food. If you go out at all, that is.
Also, does it look to anyone else that he’s gained a few pounds? Or is that just bad camera angle?
He looks bigger to me, too, although the hamster cheek full of food doesn’t help.
Well, at least it’s not Chick Fil-A!
But…but Chick-Fil-A is delicious. And they have waffle fries!
Chick-Fil-A is indeed the most delicious chicken. And those waffle fries don’t hurt none, neither.
Yeah, and low-calorie, too. Which makes it a shame that they’re one of them socially-conservative anti-gay companies.
But the last two times I’ve eaten there, I got sick and threw up right after!
Does my body reject deliciousness?
Naw, that’s just shitty food quality control.
Fun fact: Restaurants are filthy, just like your kitchen at home!
Apparently!
Willis, you were out East earlier this year and mentioned Roy Rogers restaurants. Their chicken blows away Chick-Fil-A by a mile, and even smokes the Colonel. (Not to mention that they are open on Sunday)
Agreed. Chick-fil-A is awesome. I miss campus life, when there was one uber-convenient, within walking distance.
I’m starting to think every college has a Chick-Fil-A on campus somewhere.
Bleh, Chik-Fil-A’s chicken tastes unnatural (too sweet). But I do love the waffle fries.
The spicy chicken is pretty much ‘ass’ though. At Chick Fil A get the normal regular chicken, preferably in the sandwich or the nuggets is best. The strips turn out weird sometimes.
KFC’s grilled chicken is pretty good though it tastes more like oven roasted chicken to me. The extra crispy and original recipe can be pretty bad at times though and their wings and popcorn chicken are HORRIBLE. The popcorn chicken is a cup of over-seasoned batter fried skin.
They took the double down out of our area but I never got one and never wanted one. I do eat the filets though. Usually they are pretty good.
Mike, this is your cue, kick his ass! Seriously, dude needs an therapeutic whupping more than any man I’ve ever seen.
I’ve had a double down, I was wondering why I felt depressed afterwards. I didn’t know what I was getting myself into at the time… at least it didn’t spiral completely out of control.
Eating a double down is probably a sign of preexisting depression anyway. I’m sure it doesn’t help the situation though.
*insert light, melancholy piano melody*
Have you been feeling down? Tired? Run down? Have you been losing interest in activities that you once enjoyed? Do you find yourself eating Double Downs from KFC? These may be signs of depression. Talk to your doctor today.
“I’ve had a double down, I was wondering why I felt depressed afterwards.”
it was because you ate a double down. but gangler could also be right.
This is so sad. I really hope he comes back out of that apartment soon… I know what it’s like to be in a position like that. The more you bury yourself, the less you want to be around people again.
Eventually you come out the other end and find bliss in solitude.
If you say so.
Me, I found that the more I tried to deny and ignore my need for contact with other human beings, the more likely those feelings were to build up and eventually manifest in ways I was not equipped to handle.
Acceptance and moderation is the key, IMO.
It’s tough when you’re both antisocial AND someone who hates being alone. I know.
I’ll admit it does do me good to go out and socialize once in a while, if only to keep the paranoia in check. Don’t know what it is, but the less time you spend with other people the scarier the outside world seems. Couple that with exam stress, and you’ve got someone who’s probably not fit to be seen anyway. All temporary though.
I just recently remembered that sometimes sunlight is pleasant, and I enjoy being around groups of people when I don’t have to talk to them. Loving the summer holidays. Good for the mind to get away from the old tomes once in a while.
For the purpose of your comic strip, I think using the KFC Doubledown was the better choice. White Castle can make a person feel a little bloated, but the Doubledown is better visually. The sandwich practically says, “This is why fast food is bad for you.”
And he’s back! Been waiting for Jacob’s reappearance, woohoo! Never did try a double down, although I have some friends who swear by them. Just couldn’t bring myself to eat that heart attack in a wrapper.
My policy with KFC’s more ridiculous concepts is that I’ll try it once to see what the fuss is about. It’s not hard, since thus far I haven’t actually completed the experience with a desire to ever eat it again. Still, I know the morbid curiosity won’t leave until I give it a shot.
In Seattle, there aren’t any White Castle restaurants, but you can get the burgers frozen and heat them in a microwave. Which may be even sadder.
Jacob ruined an interesting moment by just being there. Mike would probably be cool with that, b/c he likes hurting people, and getting hurt (like when Amber punched him), so if Amber gets with Jacob, then he’ll be turned on by her cheating…ugh, that’s getting to complicated
tl;dr, eventually epic hatef*ck
All roads lead in one direction.
And every side alley leads to your Mom
A KFC double down? man… now he really wants to die…
I wish they carried those in the KFC here
Ya know, I was wondering what happened to Jacob. And now I have my answer. Wow. So, um… I’m assuming this is another aspect of his addictive personality disorder? Now he’s addicted to KFC? So, at what point did Roz stop having sex with him, resulting in a lack of ANY sort of work out?
Most addictions have a tendency to tear apart your life, mess with your sleep, and overall result in the sight before you. A man who hasn’t slept in days going from one sexual encounter to another doesn’t necessarily make sound hygienic or dietary decisions anymore. Not to mention what this seems to be doing to his self esteem.
That’s part of why sex addiction gets a bad name. When you see people like Tiger Woods claiming sex addiction as the reason they spend all their time having sex with no negative side effects it doesn’t paint the picture of addiction. That looks more like someone who just enjoys sex and doesn’t necessarily have a problem with violating his marital vows. He maintains a pristine face, a healthy physique and an illustrious career. By all appearances he seems to be doing just fine.
With Jacob it seems to be a very legitimate addiction. Within seconds of being exposed to sex he lost his job, deteriorated his social life, and in general went diving head first into a path of self destruction. He needs help. I hope someone can give it to him.
Don’t worry. We know a guy who could turn him off sex forever!
“Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles…”
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) for Jacob, I think a sex addiction might be the one type of addiction that rape therapy doesn’t really work on.
Though, I dunno. Maybe it’s the type of addiction it works best on? I don’t claim to have done a comprehensive study.
I think it depends on how you do it, I’d wager.
Man, those things by themselves are like 6 bucks. That’s like a 3 piece meal at popeyes. Fuck KFC.
I thought Carl’s Jr. had some pretty nasty high-calorie/cholesterol stuff out there, too. They call that restaurant Hardee’s here on the East Coast. What about Jack in the Crack?
(I visited the Bay Area in 2005 and loved it there – I was both in San Fran and Vallejo)
I don’t suggest visiting Vallejo these days, unless you’re planning to pick up a hooker. It’s really gone into the shitter.
They may be the same chain, but Carl’s Jr. is a pale shadow of Hardee’s.
At least, when it comes to breakfast. Their lunch/dinner is pretty comparable.
I love that a White Castle in San Fransisco is too implausible but people with superpowers is a-ok.
And since in-comic its never been stated that we’re in San Fransisco, we might as well be in San Frandiego. A fictional city that is like what Metropolis is to New York city.
And there could be a White Castle on every corner there.
“I wanted to use White Castle, but I Googled and San Francisco has none. Damn.”
This approach hasn’t stopped you from using Target.
San Francisco has them. I’ve been to them.
And, in fact, they’re adding another one to the 2nd floor of Metron.
Sweet, that’s good to know. Ethan’d be all over that.
There are no Targets in San Francisco proper, but there are plenty on the peninsula.
It was mentioned in the comic that Ethan would have to do a fair amount of traveling to get to one.
Yeah, the only White Castle west of the Mississippi is in Missouri. That’s 2 thousand miles. Targets, though, are right there in the bay area, if not precisely downtown. Comparing Targets to White Castles is kind of friggin’ ridiculous.
But, but double downs are delicious!
Just, you know, impossible to eat without letting them get cold first, and too much food for most people.
I’m sorry say, but Mike it right. Those things look nasty to me, I think they ruin your life.
I don’t know, I think you should have gone with White castle. The fact that there are none in San Fransisco would have made it even more pathetic.
As a resident of Columbus, Ohio, I can tell you that the KFCs here never stopped with the double downs. Plus, not only do we have White Castles, they are HQed here. No wonder we’re so fat. The real important question we have to ask ourselves is what the hell is going on with the tfwiki?
No shit, right? I actually came here on the off chance Willis had something to say about it.
Come on Amber, use that new found Confidence of yours and go talk to the guy, show him what he’s missing by not haveing YOU – around…and then make him discover SALAD!
Jacob! Come back to the comic!
The “KFC DOUBLE” is a great “burger”!
I think this is the saddest thing you could eat:
http://www.wizards.com/magic/images/cardart/6ED/Feast_of_the_Unicorn.jpg
What, the apple? I suppose the unicorn does look rather sad about it. Maybe he prefers Granny Smith to Red Delicious.
I totally forgot Jacob lives in the same building with them (next door even?). I figured he left town or something. I guess Amber does catch a glimpse of him every so often.
No one has come to the defense of White Castle’s sliders? I am amazed and joyful.
San Francisco has ‘In-N-Out burger’, ‘Five Guys Burgers’ and Fries, and ‘Fat Burger’ though. So what’s the problem?
Because those are all ‘legitimate’, in that you’d actually eat them if you were not on a path of intentional self-destruction. (Vegans fuck off, you know what I mean)
My favorite self-flagellatory meal is the Big Carl, but that’s not an Internet meme.
No, that’s crap. They are all known for having a huge scary super-burger menu that will kill your heart or get you a show on the food channel..
In-N-Out and fat burger both have their off menu items which are totally insane. In -N Out has the Flying Dutchman, the 2×4(which expands to X x Y as ordered), animal style fries, etc. Fatburger has the XXXL which has a pound and a half of meat on it.
Five Guys is slightly tamer, but they will sell you a whole sack full of almost perfect french fires for $4.50 or so. They show you the large drink cup, fill it with fires, fill the bottom of the bag with fires put the cup in and dump fries on top.
change fires to fries
Yeah, but their burgers are pretty good. You can’t say the same about KFC.
You might go to In-N-Out to get some massive fatty burger because you’re hungry and it tastes good. The only reason to get a Double Down is to self-medicate your depression with a massive dose of tryptophan.
You can’t actually get a massive dose or even an effective dose of tryptophan from eating poultry even in large amounts. That’s a myth. Most people people feel sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner because they ate a lot and their stomach is using a lot of their blood supply to begin initial digestion.
Where is there a Five Guys Burgers? Closest one I know of is in Sacramento, and that’s pretty new.
Well, technically its in Fremont at 43810 Christy St. next to the PF Changs.
And I’m from central Texas so my idea of “too far away” is pretty skewed. Driving 40+ miles for something “special”, while uncommon, is not at all an alien or unacceptable idea around here. If we want some out of town barbecue then going to Lockhart or Driftwood or Wimberly, or Elgin for it is not that big of a big deal.
Of course with gas prices going up that might change.
Fremont is close enough. This information makes me pretty happy.
Is Amber losing weight in this universe?
No Amber, you dont want him. He boned your mom. Sick!
He said “Please”! A few times, I’ve found it hard to tell whether David Willis did something in response to the comments, or if everyone just picked up on the setup.
White Castle are in the freezer section of Safeway. At least, they used to be, in Safeway 1490, on Sixteenth Street near Potrero Avenue.
San Francisco has many unobvious goodies. IF: One knows where to look…
(I lived in SFCA, until six years ago.)
Man, I have finally eaten one of those and it nearly killed me omg. And I kept thinking about how I’d first heard of it on here
Now I want a Double Down!