Shortpacked! by David Willis
Toys are serious business.
Convention appearances:
Calgary Expo Calgary, AB: April 26-28
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Phoenix Comicon Phoenix, AZ: May 23-26, 2013
BotCon San Diego, CA: June 28-30
San Diego Comic-Con San Diego, CA: July 18-21
SPX Bethesda, MD: September 14-15
Multiplex
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So Far Apart
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Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
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Frumph.NET
Sorcery 101
Templar, AZ
The Transformers Wiki
Hail to the Slash
80 page GIANT
Axe Cop
The Book of Biff
Butt-Taco
Comics Curmudgeon
College Roomies from Hell!!!
Diesel Sweeties
Dinosaur Comics
Dr. McNinja
Dresden Codak
Fans!
Fleen
Gastrophobia
Girl Genius
Girls with Slingshots
Goats
Hark, a vagrant
Hijinks Ensue
Intrepid Girlbot
Legend of Bill
Medium Large
Not Invented Here
Octopus Pie
Overcompensating
Penny Arcade
PhDcomics
Power Nap
Questionable Content
Real Life
Rob and Elliot
Bad Machinery
Schlock Mercenary
Sheldon
So Far Apart
Something Positive
Two Lumps
Wapsi Square
Wonderella
Wondermark
Frumph.NET
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Who will stand up for all that is good and crunchy, if not the Cap’n?!?
This looks like a job for Amazi-Girl
Or Spider-Car.
Blaster Hammsters ™ to the RESCUE!!!!!!!!
“Soggies may rule” would make a great name for a band.
Love the old time “Flash” style speed lines in frame 2. Show her running across a lake next time!
I am going to have to introduce my wife to Cap’n Crunch…she never had it as a kid. It’s the Ultimate Politically INcorrect cereal!
Unrelated to the comic.
I may be the worlds only straight man who goes “Eeeeee!” when he sees the cute Joyce ad to the side. —>
She’s just so adorable. :3
The avatar–you’re soaking in it!
Yes, I know, it’s just too adorable for me to not have it.
Wait, did that really happened?!!
It really happened: http://lifeinc.today.com/_news/2011/03/09/6228655-capn-crunch-sails-into-obscurity
http://www.buzzfeed.com/melismashable/the-last-breakfast
I feel this is a good picture for the occasion.
so who is the betrayer?
It was either Sonny or the Rabbit, for their cereal (probably Sonny, because he’s a junkie).
Although, Sugar Bear DOES look kinda suspicious.
Well, they might.
Normally, I’d deny it and assert the Cap’n's absolute power, but, sadly, you may be right.
Damned Soggies.
Wow Robin sure is moving fast in the second panel.
:O
Needs a Vrrrwhipt! or Scree-eech! effect. But I guess we can abide.
Well, superspeed IS her superpower.
(How awesome is THAT?)
Approximately ‘very awesome’, I’d say.
She’s a genetically modified super-soldier!
Oh yeah, I forgot, she has superpowers. That sure hasn’t come up much, for whatever reason.
Nostalgia’d hard. Thanks for that recap into childhood, lol
Soggies: pirates of the cereal world?
Really? THIS is where you decided to take a stand on behalf of the over-sugared kids, PEPSI?
Sssshhh!!
BTW Pepsico owns Frito-Lay.
This is not exactly a health-food oriented company.
Horatio Magellan Crunch gave the best years of his life combating the Soggie white devil menace, and how do they repay him? Downsizing due to politics. Disgusting.
I established a religion around the cereal. No one is going to kill the one true messiah of breakfast!
NO ONE!
By the way (since I know it’ll happen), I didn’t literally make a religion about Cap’n Crunch.
Why not? Compared to most it seems pretty decent.
“sigh…” yeah.
Wait. REALLY?
Man, the real world is dumb, sometimes.
Part of Cap’n Crunch’s problem is it’s owned by Quaker and not one of the Big 3 which have been justifying their sugary concoctions for years. They don’t make enough money from that one line to keep it going, but seriously it’s not going the way of the Fruit Brute because by taking it off the shelves they will force people to buy it mail order for twice the price.
Alternately you buy the cheaper, and nearly as yummy bagged version from Malt-o-meal.
Guys it’s unfortunatly true. Imma gonna go out and buy a truck load of Capn Crunch now. I love it CUZ of the sugar. It’s a great snack food. Don’t even need milk on it!
http://lifeinc.today.com/_news/2011/03/09/6228655-capn-crunch-sails-into-obscurity
Not
http://adage.com/article/news/cap-n-crunch-quaker-oats-cereal-icon-staying-put/149318/
… I’m confused how anyone who read the original article could come to the conclusion that Cap’n Crunch was being retired *as a cereal*. There is *nothing* there to support it. And it’s absolutely ridiculous that Fox News would use the headline they did – but, well, it is Fox News.
When Captain Crunch dies I shall bury him under the Freaky Tree with a baking-powder submarine in the breast pocket of his P-coat. There he shall rest eternally next to his beloved Quisp.
All you young-ass-bitches will probably need to google that.
I actually bought a box of Quisp last year.
Yes it was in date! Had a UPC and everything…
First time in over 20 (25?) years I’d seen it. Tasted just as, uh, Captain Crunchy as it ever did. The puzzle on the box was pretty lame though.
No idea that they still made it.
Did you remember to double check that it was 20XX and not 19xx on the expiration date?
Yea, like that matters with kids’ breakfast cereal! They’re like Twinkies ™: Just as good in 10,000 years as they were when they came out of the vat.
But yep, good till 2012.
This was head aliens last will and testament, to rob her of as much sugar content as possible! It’s probably what happened to Walky’s Nachitos at Taco Bell as well. SEMME will fall because of the superpowers they were given relying a lot on real world stuff. If you get my drift.
Last I checked, you could still buy Nachitos (that is, NAcho CHeese flavored DorITOS) at Taco Bell. It’s on their value menu, and they also come with the $3 meal deals.
Ah, okay, it must’ve just been in the Walkyverse it was discontinued completely.
Oh, and Mountain Dew isn’t too sugary to not be marketed towards kids
(and sorry about that double comment up there ^^)
Too bad they can’t just swap out the sugar with some “golden,” ’cause that seems to work fine. Or honey. But golden is better.
Showered with golden flavor!
Golden… showers?
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ptitle0t9r68ih
They can take the Captain off the box, they can rename the cereal Cancer Boy, they can even make the new official spokesman a festering, open sore but the kids will still come. For from every tongue that tastes that sweet sweet crunch the word will soar. It will travel as whispers on the wind, in rumors at recess, through furtive notes passed between the prisoners of our schools. And the Captain shall sail again!
Oh Captain, my Captain…
That was very emotional and well said.
No, this isn’t actually happening.
http://lifeinc.today.com/_news/2011/03/10/6237276-cereal-killing-or-mutiny-neither-capn-crunch-lives?GT1=43001
http://twitter.com/RealCapnCrunch
1) Great joke for old guys who used to read comics.
2) I think I know what the next Shortpacked plot line is.
And the brick comes hurling back down onto Amber.
In order to qualify as a brick joke, the first time it happened (http://www.shortpacked.com/2007/comic/book-5/06-flashbacked/soggiesmayrule/) would have to be a setup for this time, which is in result to an actual event that he would have had to predicted 3 years ago to set it up. (A theory which I am not entirely discounting, though.) Otherwise, it’s just a callback.
Coincidentally, I also had some passionate words in the comment section of that one.
I loves me my Crunch.
Soggies may rule, the Pandorica will open, silence will fall!
Also every nutjob on the internet seems to think this is all Michelle Obama’s fault. (It’s not.)
She IS the Sog master.
“Soggies may rule” should totally have been the arc words last season.
It’s no sillier than “Bad wolf”.
Captain Crunch is actually one of the many identities held by a certain nearly immortal former time agent. The largish head and smaller body denotes a step between him being a handsome, John Barrowman look alike and him being just a giant head in a gas chamber. He likes being called captain.
“No, Robin! The Soggies will NEVER rule so long as Cap’n Horatio Magellan Crunch is able to fight!”- Malph, in the comment section of “Soggies May Rule”
“… Fuck.”- Malph, after reading this one
This is Hollywood style prophecy! The words came to us years ago, straight out of Breakfast of the Gods! http://breakfastofthegods.com/
You should see what they do to Tony the Tiger…
Cap’n Crunch isn’t going anywhere. The Daily Finance “article” is speculative bullshit.
It’s like the Firefly rumor, minus the PayPal-ing.
Rumor killing link.
“Reports of Cap’n Crunch’s demise are greatly exaggerated.”
I have made this joke for years: “I’m a cereal killer. First, I’ll take your Life, then I’ll take your Cap’n Crunch!”
You can find both cereals right next to each other in the Quaker Oats section of your local cereal aisle. Pepsi? I have a bottle of their Throwback in the fridge. What’s Throwback? It has real sugar rather than high-fructose corn syrup in the recipe! They’re worried about Cap’n Crunch?
Last week, when I bought a couple bottles of Pepsi Throwback at the Hess gas station in Hummelstown, PA, the cashier tried to add a bottle of Pepsi Zero to my bill for 10¢ without even asking! I questioned her and then told her, if I wanted the “high-octane” version of Pepsi, why on earth would I want a bottle of Pepsi Zero?
I get the impression the problem isn’t the sugar levels, but the sugar levels being marketed towards children. Say what you will about pepsi, it doesn’t specifically target children in it’s advertisements.
… I’ve never had Cap’n Crunch…. how sad.
You’re not missing much.
If they don’t take it off the shelves, they can still market it to adults who remember how delicious it is.
Anybody ever read the webcomic “Breakfast of the Gods”? It’s all the kids’ cereal characters come to life, in a war against Count Chocula and I think aliens. Anyway the art is pretty amazing, and it does feature soggies on the evil side:
http://breakfastofthegods.com/category/breakfast-of-the-gods-book-1/
Why don’t we either raise kids in cages nowadays for their own protection or raise them they were raised hundreds of years ago.
That’s a fine idea! Rouse them out of bed at 4 in the morning and off to the chicken coops with ‘em! Builds character!
However, I will object to marrying off my daughter when she’s 12.
Good girls wait until they’re 14!
I take this as proof that world peace has been well and truly shattered.
This would never stand in a utopia. And considering it’s one set up by Robin, I wouldn’t be surprised if Crunchberies were legal tender.
Incidentally, looking back at the first “Soggies” strip, it’s easy to see just how much Willis’ art style has evolved. This one looks WAY cooler.
You know, for a cereal with commercials whose enemies were the personification of saturated moistness, that Cap’n Crunch cereal was the most libel to get soggy in milk out of most cereals.
Like two minutes.
But is still tastes good when it’s soggy, unlike a certain other (I’m not naming names, Frosted Flakes).
frosted flakes become corn flakes almost as fast as you pour the cerial
You LIE! I just ate Cap’n Crunch cereal this morning! It will NEVER GO AWAY!
(especially ’cause it’s like a dollar cheaper than most of the other sweet cereals)
Soak Your captain crunch in a sugar based resin overnight. Then it will be impervious to soggyness. (Or teeth)
FOXTROT REFERENCES ARE AMAZING!
Guys, the Cap’n isn’t going anywhere
http://adage.com/article/news/cap-n-crunch-quaker-oats-cereal-icon-staying-put/149318/
This is not a joke:
http://www.abc2news.com/dpp/news/health/quaker-will-no-longer-market-sugary-cereal
I gave up on Cap’n Crunch awhile ago cause it kept abrading the roof of my mouth. One can always just sprinkle liberal amounts of sugar on grape nuts.
Oh hey, did she just use her super speed? :O
Oh captain, my captain!!!
Is this finally the excuse Robin needs to use her superspeed to go back in time: must stop the killing of Captain Crunch (oh, and fix that sex tape/Leslie problem while there).
Reminds me of this from Perry Bible Fellowship:
http://www.pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF224-Commander_Crisp.jpg
Capn’ Crunch is too awesome to take off the shelves. One of my favorites. Besides who will defeat the sogmaster?
OMG…the Soggies!!!!
i was banned from doa. why?
Because you started a pointless, off-topic, and retarded flame war about Wisconsin that, when confronted, you said you would never stop. Also, in parts of the comments section that were actually on-topic, you were calling other people idiots.
This is unacceptable, unrepentant behavior.
If I weren’t on my way to Urgent Care right now to get my coughing checked up on, you’d probably be gone from here, too.
I seriously love the way your cheerful avatar clashes with the stern post. More people should hand out castigation with a dual thumbs-up.
Service with a smile.
I never was crazy about Cap’n Crunch when I was a kid. I did beg my mom to buy some on occasion, but only for toy inside the cereal box. I, reluctantly, ate the cereal.
Wait, were the Soggies even used anymore?
Wow. Am I the only one who never liked that cereal? I HATED how it stuck to my teeth and it made my milk too sweet to drink. I don’t think I ever finished a bowl of the stuff.
And who the hell are the soggies?!
See my posts above yours. Yes, I too never cared for Cap’n Crunch cereal.
The Soggies were vague, drippy white creatures that always harassed Captain Crunch in the TV commercials. Now that I think about them, it’s odd that they represented the milk that goes with the cereal. Well, the point of the battle with the Soggies was to show that the cereal stayed crunchy in milk.
Wow. That is one majorly obscure reference.
Ha ha ha ha, that is one heck of a callback there Willis. Good on ya.
Here’s the thing…if you look at the sugar content of Cap’n Crunch and hold it up against some of the so-called “healthy” cereals, it’s really not all that horrible. If memory serves the Oatmeal Squares cereal – currently being advertised as one of the healthiest things you can put in your body, cereal-wise – actually has MORE sugar than the good Cap’ns brew. Next time I’m at the store I’ll have to check that…
Then again, I’m a Cheerios man, so what do I know?
Nothing!
Is.. is there nothing we can do? I mean, whoever keeps trying to boss around cereals.. when do I get a say? When did they hold this vote?
Or is this just one of those “the government must do for the people what they’re too stupid to do for themselves” things?
DAMMIT Fox News… is there ANY Internet Rumor you will not blow out of proportion and turn into a nationwide panic?! Didn’t you learn your lesson when you got people fired? Oh wait, you pretty much admitted to purposely doing that and laughed, that’s right.
Seriously, there’s a pirate on the box, even IF they stopped advertising the cereal, children will scream bloody murder until mommy puts it in the cart. I have no concerns.
Even though this looks to be un-true, one has to wonder if Willis is going to continue this mini-storyline with U.C. as Spider-Car and somebody tries to sqwash him with a giant fly swatter like the old comic advertisement with The Soggies and their master?
- Aot8.
P.s. Whew! What a marathon getting caught up with all the past SP! strips since I’ve been gone! Gotta say, D.W., excellent story-tellin’! Keep rocking it, bub! =)
Considering the Soggies May Rule was a joke from an old ad in a Spider Man comic, would it be reasonable to say that the ol’ Webhead could do the trick?
It’ll go to Food Heaven, along with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pasta (but no the fruit pies, those sucked).
They take away our trans fat and we fall back
They remove salt from entire restaurants tables and we fall back. not again. The line must be drawn HERE! This far, nothing further!
! And *I* will make The Federation Of Over-opinionated Delegates on Nutritional Awareness of Zealous Intent pay for what they’ve done.
>AHEM<
You broke your little ships.
^^This reference is epic win.^^
Its time Cap’n Crunch (ya know, it time- Commodore Crunch) teams up with the Cookie Monster to fuck up some retards into, I don’t know, being parental…? Oooh, the cereal’s so sugary, cookies should be a sometimes snack for the monster- lay siege to dumbassery, brave vanguards of sweetness.
Don’t worry everyone. By the 30th Century, he’ll be promoted to Admiral Crunch.
I still eat Cap’n Crunch and Cinnamon Toast Crush, The soggies will not rule, and I shall enjoy my foods forever, bwaha!