Shortpacked! by David Willis

Discussion (69) ¬

1. 
   Jen Aside

   March 21, 2011 at 12:03 am | # | Reply

   Is it harassment to do this to your boss?

   • 
     milk experiment

     March 21, 2011 at 6:49 am | # | Reply

     Considering that they’ve already locked him up for weeks and taken over the store in a past arc, I think a little sex ed is pretty mild by comparison.
   • 
     DCHorror

     March 21, 2011 at 6:58 pm | # | Reply

     Would he care?
2. 
   David Herbert

   March 21, 2011 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

   Yay, are we finally going to hear about the origin of Conquest? That sounds like fun.

   • 
     MenachemSchmuel

     March 21, 2011 at 9:43 pm | # | Reply

     Well, not anymore.
3. 
   Doctor Who

   March 21, 2011 at 12:04 am | # | Reply

   “Grab a Barbie Doll and a Batman off the shelves. We can use Nickelodeon Gak to simulate the condiments.”

   • 
     Jaymie

     March 21, 2011 at 12:10 am | # | Reply

     …….condiments?

     • 
       Doctor Who

       March 21, 2011 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

       Dessert toppings are also acceptable.
   • 
     Lokitsu

     March 21, 2011 at 12:33 am | # | Reply

     …How long have your ‘condiments’ been green? I’m fairly certain that you need to see a doctor.

     • 
       Tristan J

       March 21, 2011 at 6:10 am | # | Reply

       I think you gravely misunderstand the meaning of the word condiments.

       • 
         Andrusi

         March 21, 2011 at 9:26 am | # | Reply

         I think any possible interpretation of “condiments” suggests a visit to the doctor is in order. Don’t eat green mustard.

         • 
           gangler

           March 21, 2011 at 6:11 pm | # | Reply

           Relish. Wasabi. Heinz ezsquirt green ketchup. Olive Paste. Green Chili Chutney.

           Of course, none of these would be my first choice when incorporating condiments into bedroom activities.
         • 
           I.care.0

           March 21, 2011 at 7:00 pm | # | Reply

           Actually, Wasabi, in small amounts, opens whole new perspectives. Just not apply directly to sensitive areas.
   • 
     Kaj

     March 21, 2011 at 12:21 pm | # | Reply

     Practice safe lunch, use a condiment!
4. 
   arjay2813

   March 21, 2011 at 12:09 am | # | Reply

   which only makes it that much better ethan.
   @Doctor Who beat me to making a batman comment
5. 
   Joe

   March 21, 2011 at 12:12 am | # | Reply

   Ethan Siegal, summing up the whole Walkymultiverse.
6. 
   Stephen Bierce

   March 21, 2011 at 12:13 am | # | Reply

   And finally a good reason for the “Daddy Issues” title. Does this mean it’s a five-page “story” week? Whee!
7. 
   Digidestined of Trust/Megaligo Ranger-Silver Dragon Knight (Tim)

   March 21, 2011 at 12:23 am | # | Reply

   That definitely sounds creepy, I like the whole possibility of him being a martian or alien or something like that and being able to move between universes heading up the pizza restaurant in DOA.
8. 
   T Campbell

   March 21, 2011 at 12:25 am | # | Reply

   Willis, you JUST got me TRAINED. “A new story is marked by a new story title. When the story is over, there are a series of inconsequential one-offs, until the next story title. So if Reagan shows up suddenly, but it’s not a new story title, it’ll have no bearing on other strips. Inconsequential one-off.” This is how I thought Shortpacked worked, these days. BUT NOW, UP IS DOWN AND LEFT IS RIGHT

   (Though Stephen is partly right that this interesting little development DOES fit the title “Daddy Issues” as well as Robin’s “I’ve become my dad” soliliquy. If one of my pet theories is correct, it’s even fittinger than it looks at first glance.)
9. 
   Rognik

   March 21, 2011 at 12:26 am | # | Reply

   No, Leslie! Don’t educate him yet! Offer to sire a child with Conquest, THEN teach him the birds and the bees.

   • 
     brasca1

     March 21, 2011 at 3:10 am | # | Reply

     That would help her get over Robin and avoid the consequences of Galasso procreating.
10. 
    T Campbell

    March 21, 2011 at 12:29 am | # | Reply

    Maybe more to the point, I can’t wait to see how grossed-out-by-penises Leslie handles the puppets. “So this FOREIGN OBJECT just LODGES ITSELF INTO her…”

    • 
      KHNO

      March 21, 2011 at 8:17 am | # | Reply

      She’s had a husband, I don’t think she’s grossed out by phallicist belligerency. She’s just not turned on by it.

      • 
        T Campbell

        March 21, 2011 at 9:07 am | # | Reply

        *cough*

        • 
          Kokopure

          March 21, 2011 at 10:38 am | # | Reply

          There is no possible better avatar for winning an argument than yours.

          • 
            T Campbell

            March 21, 2011 at 1:09 pm | # | Reply

            I dunno, yours is up there.
        • 
          KHNO

          March 22, 2011 at 6:04 am | # | Reply

          Okay,my bad, I found it awkward that you could be wrong on canon. f only I hadn’t found awkward that I could be wrong on anything…
11. 
    Robert

    March 21, 2011 at 12:50 am | # | Reply

    I dont see this ending well. The results of this story might just throw the DeSanto/Manley act right out the window.
12. 
    Wackd

    March 21, 2011 at 1:01 am | # | Reply

    “Yes, I’m fine with a talking robot car, having a close friend who had two terms in Congress and superspeed, being raised up as a toy-store messiah, formally having Ronald Regan as a coworker, preforming a hostile takeover of my workplace by locking my boss up for months, and world peace occurring within my lifetime, but two gays teaching a father about sex? That’s just ridiculous. “

    • 
      gangler

      March 21, 2011 at 5:34 am | # | Reply

      Really anyone teaching a father about sense. For obvious reasons we should be able to assume that parents in general figured it out at some point.
    • 
      gwalla

      March 21, 2011 at 11:32 am | # | Reply

      As opposed to informally having Ronald Reagan as a coworker. I guess if he was working for no pay?

      • 
        Wackd

        March 21, 2011 at 4:20 pm | # | Reply

        What? Huh? …Oh.

        Formerly having Reagan as a co-worker. Sorry.
13. 
    Erin

    March 21, 2011 at 1:20 am | # | Reply

    Please continue this as more than a one-off. This is a really interesting character (Galasso) and he’s so strange that I enjoy it when you explore this kind of wackiness.
14. 
    palaeomerus

    March 21, 2011 at 1:24 am | # | Reply

    Proposed punchline: ” Oh you people call THAT “a sex” around here? Back home we just called it #@#$ing. “

    • 
      Galasso

      March 21, 2011 at 1:43 am | # | Reply

      What is this ‘Genital Organ’ you speak of?
      What is this ‘biology’ you speak of?

      …. He’s totally an amnesiac Alan.
15. 
    Plan D

    March 21, 2011 at 2:00 am | # | Reply

    Man, if she didn’t have a bad case of being fictional and I didn’t have a bad case of being a dude, I would totally make Leslie my wife.
16. 
    Shift

    March 21, 2011 at 3:07 am | # | Reply

    PLEASE let this continue! I REALLY wanna see how this goes.
17. 
    Chupi

    March 21, 2011 at 6:09 am | # | Reply

    … Huh, why did it take me until now to realize Ethan and Leslie have pretty much the same haircut?

    • 
      das-g

      March 21, 2011 at 7:58 am | # | Reply

      Because of the different hair colors, duh.
    • 
      Heavensrun

      March 21, 2011 at 3:55 pm | # | Reply

      I NO RITE?
18. 
    aydr

    March 21, 2011 at 8:07 am | # | Reply

    I don’t know how, seeing as how Leslie is a lesbian,

    but this has to end in a threesome. There’s no other way.

    • 
      aydr

      March 21, 2011 at 8:16 am | # | Reply

      P.S. please please PLEASE let Glasslo order Ethan to show him “the sex”

      • 
        aydr

        March 21, 2011 at 8:17 am | # | Reply

        …and let everyone ignore my butchering of “Galasso” while we’re at it.
19. 
    Rick Sivart

    March 21, 2011 at 9:23 am | # | Reply

    Why is it ridiculous? Gay people know a hell of alot more about straight sex than straight people know about gay sex.

    • 
      Andrusi

      March 21, 2011 at 9:30 am | # | Reply

      I know plenty about gay sex! That’s where you have sex and you’re happy about it, right?

      • 
        Rick Sivart

        March 21, 2011 at 3:25 pm | # | Reply

        Actually, it almost always ends with all parties involved being very happy. Unlike the “straight” version, where often one of the parties “fakes” being happy.

        • 
          Heavensrun

          March 21, 2011 at 3:54 pm | # | Reply

          Your comments seem to imply bias on this issue. ;p

          • 
            Rick Sivart

            March 22, 2011 at 9:27 am | # | Reply

            Imply bias?
            I’m Sorry…

            …I guess I was being too subtle.
            From now on I will just come out and say what I mean.

            • 
              Random Webcomics Junkie

              May 7, 2013 at 10:52 pm | # | Reply

              No, I’m pretty sure one of them has to fake NOT being happy with it. That’s the “straight” partner.
20. 
    Jason

    March 21, 2011 at 10:20 am | # | Reply

    This strip feels like a response to the comments to the last one. Specifically, DW is saying, “Yes, this is a comic strip, and there will be many ridiculous things in it which will never be explained.” But I don’t know, maybe this one actually will be explained.

    Meanwhile, I’m still hoping to learn what was going on between Galasso and Conquest the last time she showed up (when Jacob had his big freak-out).

    • 
      T Campbell

      March 21, 2011 at 1:13 pm | # | Reply

      Wasn’t he just negotiating to keep Conquest from conquering Shortpacked the way she conquered all the unaffiliated toy stores in one side of the city?

      Mmm, maybe you should’ve picked a different name for her, Galasso.

      • 
        Jason

        March 22, 2011 at 5:31 pm | # | Reply

        Did this just occur only in your fever dreams, or is there actual archival evidence for it? I don’t remember anything about Conquest conquering other toy stores.

        • 
          David Willis

          March 22, 2011 at 5:33 pm | # | Reply

          http://www.shortpacked.com/2010/comic/book-12/01-dominus-jacobus/cash/

          • 
            Jason

            March 23, 2011 at 2:47 pm | # | Reply

            OK, wow, how did I miss that? In my memory, he was going to offer her money for some unspecified, mysterious purpose.
21. 
    Robert in San Diego

    March 21, 2011 at 10:52 am | # | Reply

    I have a bad feeling about this. Willisverse sex ed story arcs tend to have bad consequences (ref: Joyce in “It’s Walky.”). On the other hand, this is the man who weaponized hamsters with distance weapons. Anyone who’s had a hamster knows targeting at range is NOT their strong suit. I don’t think anything Leslie and Ethan could do to would make Galesso any more delusional.

    • 
      T Campbell

      March 21, 2011 at 1:14 pm | # | Reply

      Well, Joyce’s sex ed did seem to benefit her in the long, long run.
22. 
    Fady

    March 21, 2011 at 11:01 am | # | Reply

    … Conquest is a kidnapped child, isn’t she.
    Galasso kidnapped her as a baby.
    She’s literally the prize of a conquest.
    I will bet a thousand dollars to this effect.
23. 
    AmjYT1300

    March 21, 2011 at 11:52 am | # | Reply

    Archive binge complete!!!

    Now what am I going to do
24. 
    Gaelinic

    March 21, 2011 at 12:38 pm | # | Reply

    Wait, that’s it? No payoff to the “Robin woke up after a sex scandal and brought world peace” storyline? I stuck with it waiting for some conclusion, even thought it seemed to meander and go nowhere. Now, he returns to one shots and there was no payoff. That was the worst comic I have read in a long time. It seems Willis had no idea what he was doing with that story. He made significant changes without explaining how or why. Well, this was one of the last online comics not blocked by work. Guess I’ll save the administrators the trouble. Good bye.

    • 
      Wackd

      March 21, 2011 at 4:17 pm | # | Reply

      Yeah, he made big changes. Changes-that-aren’t-going-to-be-fixed-and-resolved-over-a-couple-of-weeks big.

      I like that there was no ending, and the events just happened and left their impact. Because that’s how life is. People have problems and those problems aren’t always going to be resolved. You just have to let life move on, which is what the SP! crew seem to be doing.

      • 
        Wackd

        March 21, 2011 at 4:18 pm | # | Reply

        Jacob hasn’t come back yet, either, nor has he definitively left, furthering my point.
25. 
    petsinwinter

    March 21, 2011 at 3:33 pm | # | Reply

    wasn’t I just talking about the daughter thing last comic
26. 
    LockeZ

    March 21, 2011 at 3:46 pm | # | Reply

    I’ve heard of secluded jungle tribes where no one in the entire tribe actually knew what caused people to get pregnant. Because everyone was constantly having sex with everyone all the time, the tribe did not die out, but they never logically connected the sex as the cause of the pregnancy.

    I always figured Galasso was kind of like this, except instead of all the time it was probably only once. Just because you had sex doesn’t mean you knew what you were doing! Though that would make his partner guilty of statutory rape, unless she didn’t know what she was doing either.
27. 
    Heavensrun

    March 21, 2011 at 3:52 pm | # | Reply

    You know, I just noticed that Ethan and Leslie’s hairstyles are almost like palette swaps of one another.
28. 
    Shift

    March 21, 2011 at 5:55 pm | # | Reply

    So, the following are theories on how Conquest exists, while Glasso remains ignorate about sex.

    1. Adoption: Conquest is not really his biological daughter but rather someone who ended up in his care.
    2. Brain injury: Glasso suffered an injury that resulted in him being an insane wanna-be dictator while also forgetting how sex and gender works.
    3. Artificial insemination: His wife/girlfriend/strange woman (dead? divorced?) got a hold used SCIENCE to have her baby.
    4. Clone Experiment gone wrong: It happened for Wolverine after all…
    5. Unwitting victim of rape: this could be like in GIRLS WITH SLINGSHOTS comic where Tyler’s mom had a bedtime run-in with an “angel” and then found herself with pod. Could Glasso have gone through something similiar? (For the comic I mentioned: http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws516/ & http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws517/)

    Any other theories?
29. 
    Manmadeking

    March 21, 2011 at 7:03 pm | # | Reply

    This has nothing to do with this comic (love it, however), but whenever I click random it simply takes me to the latest comment. What’s up with that?
30. 
    Chiral

    March 21, 2011 at 7:18 pm | # | Reply

    And then Galasso was taught, and the love Nonagon was born.
31. 
    Zem

    March 22, 2011 at 4:55 pm | # | Reply

    “Us gay kids”

    It never even occured to me that Les and Ethan could bond over that fact.
32. 
    MarkReed

    January 5, 2013 at 10:04 pm | # | Reply

    “Well, when you put it that way, this sound ridiculous.”

    It had to be put THAT way to sound ridiculous?!?!